Finding Happiness and Resiliency

Finding happiness and resiliency is about having balance across three areas in your life: community & connection; health & wellbeing; and meaning & purpose.

COVID’s Mental Health Fallout Will Last a Long Time. Here’s How we’re Targeting Pandemic Depression and Anxiety

24/03/2021 by Marie

Richard Bryant, UNSW

Although Australia is now largely COVID-free, the repercussions of the pandemic are ongoing.

As the pandemic enters its second year, many people will be continuing to suffer with poor mental health, or facing new mental health challenges.

The effects of recurrent lockdowns, fears about the effectiveness of the vaccines, restricted movement within and beyond Australia, and the bleak economic outlook are taking their toll on psychological well-being.

Now is the time to think about sustainable, evidence-based mental health programs that will serve Australians as we confront the mental fallout of the pandemic in 2021 and beyond.

The evidence is in

We now have incontrovertible evidence mental health has deteriorated during the pandemic. Large studies that assessed people’s mental health before and during COVID-19 have reported marked increases in anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress since the pandemic began.

Although many experts predicted people with pre-existing mental disorders would be most vulnerable, we’ve seen even greater increases in psychological distress among those without a history of mental illness.

Unemployment and financial stress have exacerbated psychological problems during the pandemic. The major concern is that the increase in mental health problems will persist for years because of the economic downturn facing most nations.

Importantly, suicide rates increase during economic downturns. One study showed each 1% increase in unemployment was associated with a 1% increase in suicides.

The impact of unemployment and financial hardship on mental health is relevant for many Australians, as fears of reduced support from the JobSeeker and JobKeeper schemes loom. Although the government this week announced the JobSeeker payment will go up, welfare groups have warned it’s still not enough.

So what can we do?

The question now facing many nations is how to manage the unprecedented number of people who may need mental health assistance. There are several challenges.

First, lockdowns, social isolation, and fear of infection impede the traditional form of receiving mental health care in clinics. These obstacles might now be greater in other countries with higher infection rates, but we’ve certainly seen these challenges in Australia over the past year.

Second, many people who have developed mental health conditions during the pandemic would never have had reason to seek help before, which can impede their motivation and ability to access care.

Third, many people experiencing distress will not have a clinical mental disorder, and in this sense, don’t require therapy. Instead, they need new skills to help them cope.

Since the pandemic began, there’s been widespread promotion of smartphone mental health apps as a remedy for our growing mental health problems.

While these programs often work well in controlled trials, in reality most people don’t download health apps, and even fewer continue using them. Further, most people who do use health apps are richer, younger, and often in very good health.

Evidence does suggest apps can play a role in delivering mental health programs, but they don’t represent the panacea to the current mental health crisis. We need to develop more effective programs that can be scaled up and delivered in an affordable manner.

One approach

Man experiencing COVID mental health fallout — Source: Pexels

A few years ago, the World Health Organization and the University of New South Wales (UNSW) jointly developed a mental health treatment program.

The program consisted of face-to-face group sessions teaching people affected by adversity new skills to manage stress more effectively. It has been shown to reduce anxiety and mood problems in multiple trials.

My team at UNSW has adapted this program during COVID-19 to specifically address the mental health needs of people affected by the pandemic. A clinical psychologist leads weekly sessions via video-conferencing over six weeks, with four participants in each group. The sessions cover skills to manage low mood, stress and worries resulting from the pandemic.

Typically, mental health programs have attempted to reduce negative mood and stress by using strategies that target problem areas. A newer approach, which we use in this program, focuses on boosting positive mood, and giving people strategies to optimally experience positive events and pleasure when faced with difficulties.

In controlled trials this strategy has effectively improved mental health outcomes, even more than a traditional program.

Trialling this tailored program around Australia in recent months, we’ve found it effectively improves mood and reduces stress. Although we haven’t yet published our results in a peer-reviewed journal, our preliminary data suggest the program results in a 20% greater reduction in depression than a control treatment (where we give participants resources with strategies to manage stress and mood).

This raises the possibility agencies could provide simple but effective programs like these to people anywhere in Australia. Delivering a program by video-conferencing means it can reach people in remote areas, and those not wishing to attend clinics.

One of the common patterns we’ve seen in previous disasters and pandemics is that once the immediate threat has passed, governments and agencies often neglect the longer-term mental health toll.

Now is the time to plan for the delivery of sustainable, evidence-based mental health programs.

Australians experiencing distress related to the pandemic can express interest in participating in the trial program here.

If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Richard Bryant, Professor & Director of Traumatic Stress Clinic, UNSW

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Is Swearing Good For You?

17/03/2021 by Marie

I don’t know why I haven’t covered this topic before, but as someone who more than occasionally let’s a swear word slip out, this topic is close to my heart. My academic interest in swearing only started recently when I watched the hilarious Netflix documentary ‘History of Swear Words,’ hosted by Nicholas Cage and a cast of gutter-mouthed comedians and actors.

Funny anecdotes aside, this was a real documentary, with history lessons and all, and it made me wonder whether there was a science of swearing. Lo and behold, there is. Not only that, but along the way, I discovered my parents’ insistence that I never swear – as it was unladylike and crass – was actually doing me a disservice.

In this article, we explore why mum and dad (and millions of other people) were wrong and how swearing can be good for you, because as it turns out swearing can help you achieve a happier, healthier life. Read on!

Swearing is Good for you

Authenticity is a popular topic among positive psychologists, with the thinking going like this: if you can’t be honest with those around you, you will never be truly happy. Throughout history, minority and oppressed groups have experienced the downside of having to hide their identity, often battling higher rates of mental health conditions and suicide. The research shows that if you don’t show your real self, then true happiness will be hard to find or sustain. So, what does authenticity have to do with swearing?

Simply, swearing is a way of telling the truth and being authentic. People who swear are more honest. This is backed up by findings from a study by researchers at Maastricht University, Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, Stanford and the University of Cambridge. The researchers noted that, “We found a consistent positive relationship between profanity and honesty; profanity was associated with less lying and deception at the individual level and with higher integrity at the society level.”

The researchers found that using profanity to express your anger, frustration or sincerity is an open and honest way of communicating with others. So, as long as you’re not using profanity to demean or harass someone else (which is never OK), then letting a few curse words fly can make you seem more authentic and honest to others. It is worth noting that in this study, although researchers found the same positive correlation with openness and truth telling, they also found that people who swear more were also more likely to display neuroticism, and be less conscientious and agreeable… which kinda makes sense, if you’re swearing a lot you probably don’t care what others think so much.

Profanity Helps with Pain and Relaxes you

Another reason to add swear words to your vocabulary is that they help us to cope with pain. In a study by Richard Stephens at Keele University, people had to hold their hand in icy water while repeating either a swear word or a neutral word. After adjusting for a range of other factors, Stephens and his colleagues found that for most people, swearing not only increased pain tolerance, but also decreased perceived pain compared to those who didn’t swear. They found that the people who swore could keep their hand in the icy water up to 50 per cent longer than those who didn’t.

It seems that swearing activates our brains natural pain reducing chemicals, which are similar to morphine. But just like with opioids, overuse of swearing can dull the effects. Researchers found that when people swore regularly, their swearing was less effective at helping to cope with pain. So, it’s better to save your swear words for the times you really need them.

Stephens also suggests that swearing might kick us into a fight-or-flight response, nullifying the link between fear of pain and pain perception. So next time you stub your toe, go ahead and let out an expletive or two and remember, it’s a healthy way of coping with pain and stress.

Stephens wrote a whole book on this subject, “Black Sheep: The Hidden Benefits of Being Bad.” Stephens’ book covers a range of bad behavior that you may wish to rethink, not the least is swearing. You can also check out Emma Byrne’s book, “Swearing is good for you: The amazing science of bad language.”

And yes! Swearing is a Sign of Intelligence

Saving the best for last, this next fact flies in the face of the commonly held idea that people who swear are low-class idiots. In fact, quite the opposite is true.

Research shows that using swear words is a sign of a greater vocabulary – with people specifically choosing to use swear words from a vast array of options and alternatives. Researchers found that people who know a large number of swear words also tend to know a larger number of words in general. And greater vocabulary is correlated with greater IQ, so if you have a greater number of swear words at your disposal, you’re likely to be more intelligent too!

The moral of this story? Yes! Swearing is good for you! So, dust *ff those swear words, spew some pr*fanities and have a hell of a day!

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

Signs Of Burnout At Work

10/03/2021 by Marie

5 Signs of Burnout at Work and How to Gracefully Bounce Back

Feeling stressed, tired, unmotivated, and irritable at work?

You might be suffering from work burnout.

It’s a common condition – so common, in fact, that it is now considered a diagnosable medical condition. The World Health Organization (WHO) added burnout to its International Classification of Diseases in 2019.

According to recent statistics, 23 per cent of workers report work burnout either “very often” or “always”, and 44 per cent of workers report feeling burnt out “sometimes.” This is a shockingly high amount of employees who are experiencing an extreme amount of work stress.

If work is starting to get the best of you (and not in a good way), these numbers prove you’re not alone. It’s incredibly common – which means it’s crucial to recognise the signs of burnout at work and act before it gets out of hand.

In this article, we’ll explore the definition of work burnout, the signs and symptoms of the condition, and some constructive things you can do to ease these negative feelings (and hopefully replace them with happy ones!)

Job Burnout Definition

Work burnout is a form of work-related stress which can cause both physical and emotional exhaustion.

The term was coined in 1974 in Herbert Fredenberger’s book Burnout: The High Cost of High Achievement. He defined burnout as “the extinction of motivation or incentive, especially where one’s devotion to a cause or relationship fails to produce the desired results.”

In the International Classification of Diseases, WHO described burnout as:

“A syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; 2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) reduced professional efficacy. Burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.”

Some common causes of burnout include:

Lack of control over your schedule, deadlines, and workload.
Unclear work expectations and limited resources to make life easier.
No work life balance and no time or energy for friends, family, exercise, and hobbies.
Lack of social support and workplace isolation.
Concentrating too hard for too long and long periods of high activity.
Dysfunctional workplace dynamics, bullying, and micromanaging.
Expecting too much from yourself and experiencing a constant sense of failure.

The result? An overwhelming sense of self doubt, a lack of motivation, hating work, and a negative or cynical response to workplace situations. The urge to call in sick can also be much higher – you desperately need a break, but it feels like you can’t take time off or you might lose your job and source of income.

The longer you endure work burnout symptoms, the worse it will get. It’s crucial to recognise the signs of burnout at work and take action before things get out of control.

Here are some of the most common signs of burnout at work – read them, recognise them, and reach out for help!

#1. Frustration and Irritability

holding up an angry sign — Image: Unsplash

One of the most common signs of burnout at work is anger, sarcasm, and cynicism. No one likes their schedule to be packed with work – as the work piles up and personal time becomes scarce, it’s not surprising that people start to feel tired and stressed.

Stress mixed with exhaustion can manifest itself into a temperamental mood – even the little things seem irritating, like a coworker asking for help or interrupting your sense of concentration.

As the frustration builds, you might even start emotionally distancing yourself from your coworkers, skipping out on social events, and responding to workplace situations with cynicism. For example, a coworker might ask you to do something for them, and you might think it’s not worth doing, or it’s stupid.

Maintaining a negative outlook at work can get you on hot water – so it’s essential to recognise the cause of your frustration and get some help.

#2. Spending More Time Working but Getting Less Done

woman working at her laptop — Image: Unsplash

Naturally, if you’re feeling frustrated about work, you’ll have less motivation to get things done or even show up to work at all. Alternatively, you might struggle to concentrate because you’re feeling so stressed and worn out. You might find yourself spending a lot of time on a task – more than usual – but not getting everything done, or the quality of your work is much lower than usual.

Frustration and cynicism tends to get in the way of productivity – interest in the task at hand is down, or non-existent.

#3. More Mistakes and Decreased Efficiency

broken plate at a restaurant — Image: Unsplash

Finding it hard to concentrate or stay motivated at work? There’s a good chance mistakes are going to be made – if you work in an office setting, you might forget to file paperwork or make important calls. In a restaurant, you could drop a plate, forget an order, or deliver a meal to the wrong table.

Work burnout can have a serious impact on your overall performance – and even the security of your job. If you’re stressed, overwhelmed, and becoming prone to making mistakes, it’s time to reach out and talk to your boss about taking a break.

#4. Headaches and Fatigue

burned out man with headache — Image: Unsplash

Tension headaches are a common sign of burnout at work. These headaches are characterised by dull pain, tightness, or pressure around your forehead, the back of your head, and even your neck. Sometimes it can feel like a clamp squeezing your head – needless to say, it’s unpleasant!

Work burnout causes headaches for a couple of reasons. For one, you’re probably not getting enough rest – your schedule is packed and you’re probably thinking about work even when you’re trying to go to sleep!

Second, the stress might be causing tightened muscles in the back of your neck and scalp. The constant strain is bound to give you a throbbing headache. While headaches can be treated with off-the-shelf painkillers, stress can’t. It’s important to nip your headaches in the bud and address your work stress.

#5. Self Medicating With Alcohol, Smoking or Substances

burned out man drinking alone at a bar — *Image: Unsplash*

When work has got you feeling stressed, worn out, and even depressed, it might be tempting to pour yourself a drink when you get home from work, or sit outside and smoke cigarettes (among other things). It’s incredibly common – in fact, around 71% of all Americans who abuse drugs and alcohol are employed.

Substance abuse provides a temporary high or “relief” from the stress – it’s a short term fix, but it’s not worth the time (or the money). Quite often, the “come down” is worse than the negative feelings you were trying to drown out in the first place.

Alcohol, for example, affects happiness chemicals in your brain like serotonin and dopamine. While you get a boost of happiness while you’re drinking, your brain will need to catch up the next morning. Your brain will be deficient in happiness chemicals leaving you feeling hopeless and depressed.

Substance abuse is a vicious circle. If you’re struggling with substance abuse and self medicating, please get in touch with your doctor, counsellor, or even a helpline like Beyond Blue or even Lifeline on 13 11 14.

How to Ease the Symptoms of Feeling Burnt Out at Work

While burnout sounds like a permanent condition or “disease”, it’s 100% reversible. There are a few simple things you can try to ease your work stress, refresh your mind, and make positive steps towards work satisfaction.

Talk to your boss about how you’re feeling and work towards creating a positive work environment. If they’re supportive, they will work with you to solve the problem – whether it’s reducing your workload, providing stress management training, or making changes to the workplace to make employees feel safe, relaxed, and welcome.
Reframe the way you look at work. When you’re suffering from work burnout, it can be hard to see the positive side of things. At one point, there must have been something you liked about your job. Think about your workplace or role and write down the things you like, even if it’s having a coffee with your coworkers. This will help ease the negative feelings you associate with work.
Practice mindfulness while at work. Taking a moment to be mindful at work can help you de-stress in a matter of minutes. Practice some mindfulness exercises like staying present in the moment, count your senses (like three noises around you), or focus on your breathing. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring yourself back to the moment and focus on yourself.
Consider changing jobs, positions, or even going back to school. Love your job? This step is not for you. This is for all the people who hate their work and have never, ever felt satisfaction from their role. It might be time to start looking for other jobs or even re-training and chasing what you really want to do in life. Consider your passion and purpose in life – it could be a golden opportunity to move on.
Set up some self care strategies like regular exercise, healthy eating, new hobbies, and putting your emails away after work. It can be difficult to find time for yourself when you’ve got a massive workload. However, it’s the “me” activities that bring fun and happiness to your life! Make sure to schedule in time for working out, experimenting with healthy new foods and diets, seeing friends, and enjoying your hobbies. Plus, disconnect from your work emails (if you have them). You’re not getting paid after hours!
Take regular breaks at work – and make them non-negotiable. A huge contributor to work burnout is working through your break. Maybe you’re too stressed to eat, or you’re too busy to stop and take a second for yourself. You need to take breaks, have some food, and unwind – even if it’s just half an hour. Set break times and stick to them.
Take a week off to recharge. It’s not a 100% effective solution – you will still have to go back to work, unless you decide to resign. However, it can be good to take some time off and focus on yourself rather than the daily grind. Consider booking a holiday – even if it’s just camping somewhere closeby.

Feeling burnt out at work? Sign up to my email newsletter for more tips and advice for reducing stress in the workplace.

21 Happiness Ideas From Around the World

03/03/2021 by Marie

We talk a lot about happiness on this site, but mostly what we’re talking about is what Western, English-speaking nations commonly understand happiness to be.

It’s also true that a lot of the research in this area and the studies I write about come from America, the U.K. and Australia. But the concept of happiness and people’s understanding of what it means to them varies greatly across different cultures and languages. As such, many of the below words do not translate into English very well. Sometimes, there is just no concept like it in English, other times, you might think it’s a simple enough translation, but there are layers of subtlety that mean so much more.

From the Danish practice of Hygge to the Japanese concept of Wabi-sabi, or the Russian zeal for Azart, how humans search for happiness and what brings them joy is clearly influenced by and reflected in their culture, environment and values.

Let’s take a look at these 21 happiness ideas from around the world and their meanings.

21 Happiness Ideas From Around the World

1. Hygge, Denmark

Hygge is all about coziness and comfort. It’s a warm fire and a good book, a games night with friends or family, a hot cup of cocoa or wearing a comfortable new jumper for the first time. It’s a subjective thing, but it’s always a feeling that warms the soul. Hygge has been a part of Danish and Norwegian culture for centuries and is a great way to make the best and reframe thinking about the best way to make it through those long, cold winters.

2. Sisu, Finland

The Finnish also have long winters and maybe that’s why they need sisu – a resilience and stoic determination in the face of adversity. Sisu is about overcoming challenges, taking action against all the odds and having grit. Sisu is something to have pride in, and is part of the Finnish national character.

3. Friluftsliv, Norway

The literal translation of Friluftsliv is “free air life,” but it means so much more than that to the people of Norway, who are an active outdoorsy group of people. To them, it means mindfully spending time in nature to become one with the natural world. Friluftsliv recognised the importance of being outdoors to our happiness, and is all about the sense of contentment, happiness and spiritual uplifting that nature provides.

4. Niksen, Netherlands

In today’s hectic world, we could all use a little bit more niksen – the art of doing nothing. This concept takes having a break to a whole new level. It’s about listening to your body and knowing when you need to recover and it’s a great idea for relieving stress. If you want to know more about the benefits of doing nothing, check out Manoush Zomorodi’s TedX talk on How boredom can lead to your most brilliant ideas.

5. Kalsarikannit, Finland

You know when you just can’t be bothered to go anywhere? Maybe you had a long week at work, or you’re just tired from overbooking yourself, well, don’t stress, instead practice a bit of kalsarikannit, and stay at home in your undies with a nice glass of shiraz. Kalsarikannit is literally translated to ‘pants drunk’ and is roughly translated to ‘drinking at home in your underwear with no intention of going out.’ Cheers to that!

6. Ohanami, Japan

Ohanami literally means “flower viewing” and it’s used to describe gathering to enjoy and appreciate cherry blossoms. In Japan, cherry blossom viewing is a centuries-old tradition that is grounded in the idea that nothing is permanent, not even beautiful flowers. This is also known as Hanami.

7. Wabi-sabi, Japan

Wabi-sabi derives from Buddhist teachings, and is another Japanese concept that centres on the idea of accepting and even celebrating imperfection, impermanence and incompleteness. It is the art of finding perfection in the imperfect. In today’s age of increasing social pressure due to pervasiveness of social media, a lot of us could use a little bit more wabi-sabi and self-compassion in our lives.

8. Shinrin-yoku, Japan

Shirin-yoku means bathing in the forest – which isn’t about actually bathing but is more about being completely surrounded and enveloped in the forest. This is about taking time to mindfully walk or sit in the forest and simply enjoy nature. You can read more in this article about why moving out of the city will make you happier.

9. Craic, Ireland

This Irish concept is all about having a good time with friends. It’s about loud conversations, joking, laughing and having fun – think of a good night at the pub. Craic has even been called an intrinsic part of the culture of sociability that distinguished the Irish workplace from those of other countries.

10. Entrückt, Germany

Being entrückt is about being lost in thought and in your own mind. It’s about forgetting everything around you and daydreaming, being absentminded or even meditative. It’s about being calm and quiet and enjoying time alone.

11. Estrenar, Spain

This is about using or wearing something for the first time. Think of the soft fluffiness of a new pair of sweatpants, or the whiteness of a new pair of socks, or the great feeling of wearing a new top on a night out with friends. Brings a smile to your face, doesn’t it?

12. Siesta, Spain

For those of us who are on the career treadmill or corporate ladder, the idea of taking a 2-hour break in the middle of the day for a siesta, or nap, may seem preposterous. But this practice has been proven to relieve stress and recharge your mind, leading to greater happiness and wellbeing. It might be time to talk to the boss.

13. Flâner, France

Flâner is to stroll or potter around. If you’re in a rush, it’s not flâner. Instead, this means to take your time leisurely walking and observing the world around you. It’s about having no purpose, and letting your feet take you where they will.

14. Lagom, Sweden

Lagom is the story of goldilocks in one word – it’s the Swedish mindset of approaching life with an “everything in moderation” mindset… in other words, not too much, not too little, but just right. There’s no English equivalent and in today’s consumerist society even the word ‘moderation’ can be seen as leaving you wanting more. Lagom is not that, it is truly the right amount, with a sprinkle of perfect, balance and simplicity in there too.

15. Meraki, Greece

Meraki is a labour of love, or the idea that you can bring others and yourself happiness by giving your undivided attention to a task, especially a creative or artistic one—like cooking. It’s about doing things with love leaving a part of you in that task.

16. Azart, Russia

The Russian word azark is all about taking life by the horns and finding passion and excitement – often from activities that would make many other cultures feel uncomfortable. Think about scary movies, or sky diving or rolling around in the snow after nice warm sauna. Azart is about exploring the zeal of life.

17. Keyif, Turkey

In Turkey, Keyif is all about practicing the art of quiet relaxation and living in the moment – like mindfulness. It’s about savouring the simple moments in life, spending some time alone and resetting.

18. Saudade, Brazil

Unlike many of the other happiness ideas from around the world, this concept is also a bit sad. Saudade is about a feeling of melancholy, longing and nostalgia for a happiness that once was or will never happen again. It’s a bitter-sweet memory that tugs at your heart-strings. Portuguese writer Manuel de Melo describes the concept as “a pleasure you suffer, an ailment you enjoy.”

19. Jayus, Indonesia

I love this one and I know a lot of people who embody this concept. In fact, I actually think the English translation for Jayus should be ‘dad joke.’ The actual meaning is a joke that is so unfunny, or told so badly, that you just have to laugh.

20. Ubuntu, South Africa

Ubuntu is practiced by the Bantu people across Africa. It’s a concept of common humanity and oneness. Think “I am because you are.” It acknowledges the power of togetherness and community. During the memorial service for Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama said ubuntu described his greatest gift, “that there is a oneness to humanity; that we achieve ourselves by caring for those around us.”

21. Kafa, Bosnia

Although many people often meet for a coffee in Australia, the Bosnians have turned the concept of kafa into more of a ritual – that of regularly meeting a friend for a good long chat, over coffee. And as Cultural Atlas describes, in Bosnia, “Coffee (kafa) is usually served during a visit, usually three times. The first is the greeting coffee (dočekuša), the second is the talking coffee (razgovoruša or brbljavuša) and the final coffee is meant to signify the time when guests are expected to leave, known as ‘kandžija’ or ‘sikteruša’.”

Do you know any other happiness ideas from around the world? Let us know in the comments below!

Want to learn more about happiness ideas from around the world? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

Try a Little Playfulness if Your Family’s Pandemic Routine Needs a Reset

24/02/2021 by Marie

Heather McLaughlin, Concordia University and Bonnie Harnden, Concordia University

Many of us were hopeful that 2021 would be the start of a new beginning. However, with lockdowns and grim warnings about new strains of COVID-19, society was quickly reminded that the marathon is far from over.

As creative arts therapists working in the pandemic, we commonly hear how deeply disconnection and loneliness are affecting people. To sustain ourselves through the months ahead, we believe people need to intentionally work to find creative ways to connect more, no matter what the distance is.

We invite you to think of how to tend to your own connection needs while also thinking about those in your community. All of us will need tremendous energy for the emotional work ahead.

For those who have lost loved ones during the pandemic, there is profound grief, compounded by losses and disappointments of missed funerals or death rituals. Many are dealing with grief for missed milestones and family and community celebrations, lost opportunities, missing financial, employment or personal supports and community and personal connections. There’s also the everyday loss of grounding routines and relationships, and ongoing fear. We will all need energy for so much recovery.

Our hope is to inspire you to intentionally bring a little playfulness and creativity to help light up your connections and perhaps find ways they can be more sustaining. In turn, these tiny adjustments of intention may help preserve health.

Centering Intentions, Values

Start by clarifying what constitutes your intentions or values.

For example, just because you have a weekly call with friends or family on the calendar, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will fulfil the need for connection. Psychologist Stephen Hayes proposes clarifying your values so they can inform the actions you commit to. Setting an intention to feel connected, and grounded in personal values, may be more successful.

If the goal is to connect, but calls are leaving you cold, perhaps it’s time to switch from a video conference or a distanced walk.

As many of us have may have “Zoom fatigue,” web conferences can be transformed into a game night or a crafting party.

A playful off-screen option is a scavenger hunt. These might help with cross-generational connections or with those who have less to talk about.

Antidote to Failed Connection: Playfulness

As therapists, we witness many moments of failed connection: values collide, people’s abilities and limitations are not considered. Old hurts get activated, moments to repair are missed and bids for connection flop.

During stressful relationship moments, it’s easy to quickly climb the nervous system ladder, jumping from a state of relative calm into fight, flight or freeze, and interact with each other badly. Neuropsychiatrist Daniel Siegel calls this “flipping our lids,” and his Wheel of Awareness meditation tool can help with this.

Instead of “flipping our lids,” we can use playfulness.

One day when Bonnie’s son was three, she to had to rush him to daycare. After packing him into his jacket and adjusting the car seat, she reached back to pick him up and found him in that limp posture of protest small children take when they don’t want to do something.

Rather than just stuffing him into the car, she relied on a helpful parenting approach of empathizing with him first: “You were happy playing with your toys. You’re sad we have to go.” Then, as she was newly training as a play therapist and learning about how parents can connect with their children’s feelings and help coach their children through difficult emotions, she had an idea: her son was obsessed with giant machines so she decided to become a backhoe loader. Her arms became shovels and she loaded him into the car while he laughed with joy.

Grumpy Pandemic Walks

Moments of playful connection like this can invite feelings of gratitude, which in turn have so many positive benefits in relationships. It can really take an extra effort to find a playful impulse, as the fear and constrictions are wearing.

Heather had found her necessary daily walks becoming a chore, as she lives in a densely populated neighbourhood where distancing is a sport. After noticing she and her son were getting grumpy on these walks, she set an intention to tune their attention to the little bits of neighbourhood beauty and magic: a tiny painted mouse door, little free libraries and a giant snow dragon!

In many ways, people’s social capital is being depleted as collective fatigue of the pandemic wears on many people’s moods and social graces. At the same time, these little artifacts are examples of ways people creatively show generosity and ways of connecting.

It’s not all About Self-care

While we recommend ways to bring playfulness, humour, fondness, flexibility and creativity into the mix, we also acknowledge that accessing these may be hard. Some self-compassion and self-care may be needed first.

Reflecting on values and intention may help you consider what you need for self-care. Finding resources like guided meditations and creative activities can help.

We recognize the notion of self-care can require resources that aren’t distributed equally in society or can obscure the social or political roots of marginalization that can impact well-being. Self-care has also been commercialized into a massive industry that can perpetuate feelings of not being or having enough.

And marginalized groups have been hardest hit by the mental health impacts of the pandemic.

The word compassion, on the other hand, has a root meaning “to suffer together.” Is it possible to allow both the helpful and limited aspects of notions of self-care, and a sense of compassion or empathy for suffering, to shape responses? All of us might resolve to make extra efforts to invite, connect and to offer patience and forgiveness for imperfect moments.

We are all going to need some extra kindness on this road ahead, so hopefully a little fun can help smooth the path!

Heather McLaughlin, Lecturer, Creative Arts Therapies Department, Concordia University and Bonnie Harnden, Professor, Creative Arts Therapies Department, Concordia University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Check out our related podcast: Why you Need to Play More (E39)

Working from Home? Here are 8 Ways to Help You Start Your Day Better

17/02/2021 by Marie

Are you looking for ways to have a better day?

Due to COVID-19, many people are now working remotely. Rather than commuting to the office or our workplace, we’re rolling out of bed, grabbing a bite to eat while we turn on our computers and just rolling into another workday, because, what else is there to do…?

At some point, our rumbling tummies might signal lunch time, or we might sprint to the kitchen between more meetings, either way, we often find ourselves sitting at that same computer over lunch.

Then as the day winds down, we might turn on the lights, and finish up just another email, and then one more. We don’t have a commute after all, and it’s not like we’ve got somewhere to go in the evenings. And so, for many of us, one day bleeds into the next and before you know it, it’s February 2021, not February 2020.

But what if you’re sick of that? What if ‘meh’ isn’t how you want to feel all the time? What if you want more from life, even in a global pandemic? The good news is that it’s possible to find joy and inspiration even if you’re stuck at home, day after day. Here’s how to build better resilience and have a better day.

1. Focus on New Rituals

A typical morning routine and commute to work is filled with ritualistic tasks – such as making your morning coffee, getting yourself ready and dressed, and listening to your favourite podcast on the bus.

For people who are now working solely from home, a lot of these rituals have been cast aside… leaving many people feeling completely untethered, and a bit lost. Even though it’s kinda cool to be able to wear stretchy pants every day of the week, it is also important to keep some habits consistent in your day-to-day life. There’s a reason so many successful people have morning rituals (see here, here, here, here and here… just for some inspiration). Good morning rituals increase your productivity and happiness levels and keep your body and mind in shape.

2. Get Dressed for the Virtual Office

I know, I know… what about the stretchy pants!? Well, yes, that’s going to be a sacrifice, but putting in a little bit of effort into your appearance can have a great impact on your self-esteem and boost your mood for the day. Not quite ready to ditch the lycra? Try pampering yourself in the shower instead, with a scented body scrub or deep condition of your hair.

3. Add Some Movement to Your Morning Routine

Adding a little bit of movement to your routine is a simple way to have an overall better day. It doesn’t have to be anything monumental – it can be as simple as doing a 10 sit-ups and push-ups, a 15-minute yoga routine or a walk around the block – never underestimate the power of a walk. Even if it’s just a stroll around the block, going for a walk will lead to a better day. The combination of fresh air, sun and different scenery is perfect to help start your day better. Whatever you choose, it will help your body feel more alive, awake, and happy.

4. Make Morning Time About You

Months into the coronavirus pandemic, COVID-19 continues to take its toll on populations, economies, and personal mental wellbeing, according to Tech Republic. Amid a modern plague and lockdown restrictions, prioritising your mental health every morning before work could be particularly beneficial. If you’re experiencing mild depression or low moods, introducing a daily practice of mindfulness or meditation can help to boost your resilience.

5. For a Better Day, Create a Workspace for Yourself

One of the biggest challenges of working from home is all of the distractions that come along with it: kids, pets, roommates and more. That’s why it’s important to have a dedicated workspace for yourself (if possible). This will allow you to have a better day without the outside distractions around you. A separate office in your house is of course perfect. If that’s not possible, use a desk or table in a quiet area (again, if possible). But, if these things are impossible to do at your home, try investing in a good pair of noise cancelling headphone or disposable earplugs. Another way to brighten your day is to make sure your space is pleasing to you. Our homes shape how we feel about our day, ourselves and our lives more broadly. They are also closely tied to how happy we are overall in our lives. From pops of colour to bringing in a pot plant, it’s important to make your home happy.

6. Schedule Work Time

Justin Bariso from Inc.com says one of the best things about working from home is the control it gives you over your own schedule. But, without set log-on and log-off times, it’s all too easy to spend too much time at your computer (answering ‘just one more’ email again and again). So, go ahead and block out time in your calendar for other activities you need to prioritise. Whether it’s planning to cook pancakes with the kids, or making sure you get some exercise, ensure you block out time for other activities so that you actually do leave the “office.”

7. Take Proper Breaks

Individuals differ on what types of breaks work for their productivity. Across the board though, taking consistent breaks throughout the day will make for a better day overall. Many studies have shown that prolonged sitting is the new smoking. Yet despite it being really bad for our health, so many of us don’t even take lunch breaks!

Both your body and your mind need regular breaks to perform at their peak. At a minimum, keeping your body nourished and fuelled throughout the day will increase productivity. Plus having smaller meals more regularly helps to keep your body energy consistent and stop spikes and drops in blood sugar – which can lead to low moods, low energy levels and overeating in the evenings.

Related: Podcast – Why You Need to Stop Skipping Your Lunch Break (E24)

8. Practice gratitude

Practicing gratitude is proven to make people happier and less stressed. It leads to higher overall wellbeing and satisfaction with your life and social relationships. Writing about what you’re grateful for is key. Research suggests translating thoughts into concrete language makes us more aware of them, deepening their emotional impact. Two or three times per week is enough. It’s useful to reflect on smaller, more frequent things—such as a modest bit of help from a friend or colleague, or to name three things that went well yesterday.

Although these unprecedented times have led to odd work environments, these activities can lead to a better day as you work from home. You still might not be able to go into the office but having solid morning routines can make your days more productive and happier as you do your work. So, follow these simple steps. Maybe one day you’ll find that you don’t want to go back to the office.

10 Reasons Why 2021 Will be The Year of Better Mental Health

10/02/2021 by Marie

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000 in Australia, or your local emergency services number.

We know mental health is an issue, but will we finally do anything about it in 2021?

We all know, and we’ve been saying it for long enough, 2020 was shit (s’cuse my language, but it was). Too many things that were simply out of control were impacting our lives – leaving us powerless to do much of anything except resolve to be kind to ourselves and others….

Actually, to be fair, that’s only if you’re self-aware enough to know how to respond to major change, or trauma or crises like what many of us went through last year. The sad truth is that so many people have never been taught how to assess their emotions, to step back and work out a logical (not emotional) way forward. They were never taught how to build resilience and what makes a good life, a happy life.

To be fair, neither was I. I grew up in an era when we still played bullrush and brandings in the playground. I still remember being the nominated person to change those clear plastic sheets on the projector in science class. We didn’t talk about emotions or bullying, and we didn’t have mobile phones or social media. I came from the suck-it-up era, which our grandmothers had instilled in us because they’d seen real depressions and war.

The world is just so different nowadays, and we’re not coping. Even pre-pandemic, and pre 2020 bushfires, and pre-Trump, and pre-Brexit, our mental health was on the decline. We’re not coping with this new world, but finally, after 2020, I think we’re starting to realise that this isn’t just fluff, it’s a problem.

So, check out the latest mental health stats from around the world and decide for yourself: will 2021 be the year of mental health?

1. Around the world, mental health issues are a problem

There are approximately one billion people around the world with a mental, neurodevelopment or substance use disorder – although mental health disorders remain largely underreported, so estimates vary and researchers disagree (Our world in data). But, even with some room for error, the numbers are quite simply staggering.

Four million, or 1 in 5, Australians are living with mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression.
In the U.S., the numbers are similar with recent stats showing also that 1 in 5 (20.6 per cent) of adults experienced mental illness in 2019 (51.5 million people). (NAMI)
Similarly, in any given year, 1 in 5 Canadians experiences a mental illness or addiction problem (CAMH)

2. Mental health and the elderly

The global population is ageing rapidly, with estimates that 1 in 5 people will be over 60 by 2050 – that’s 2 billion people. The most common mental and neurological disorders in this age group are dementia and depression, which affect approximately 5 per cent and 7 per cent of the world’s older population. With this demographic in particular, mental health problems are under-identified by health-care professionals and older people themselves, and the stigma surrounding these conditions makes people reluctant to seek help. (WHO)

In the U.K., depression affects around 22 per cent of men and 28 per cent of women aged 65 years and over, and it is estimated that 85 percent of older people with depression receive no help at all from the NHS. Research shows the five factors that affect the mental health and wellbeing of older people are: discrimination, participation in meaningful activities, relationships, physical health and poverty. (Mental Health Foundation)

Additionally, this group is particularly prone to social isolation and loneliness, which can cause poor mental health outcomes. Loneliness is a complicated issue that has gained increased visibility over recent years. In the U.S., about 28 percent of older adults, or 13.8 million people, live alone, but many of them are not lonely or socially isolated. At the same time, some people feel lonely despite being surrounded by family and friends. (NIH)

3. Mental health and teens

The World Economic Forum states that mental illness is the leading cause of disability and poor life outcomes for young people today, yet investment into mental health is insufficient worldwide. Most mental illness has its onset in adolescence and early adulthood with 75 per cent of mental illness presents by the age of 25 years. (World Economic Forum)

In Canada, 70 per cent of adults with mental health issues begin experiencing symptoms in adolescence, and teens aged 15 to 24 are more likely to experience mental illness and/or substance use disorders than any other age group. This is why the country is looking toward new models of care for their youth. (The Conversation)

In the U.S. 16.5% of U.S. youth aged 6-17 experienced a mental health disorder in 2016 (7.7 million people). Yet stats show that about 50 per cent of U.S. youth with a mental illness get any treatment. Additionally, In the U.S., suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged 10-34 in the U.S. and overall, 46 per cent of people who die by suicide had a diagnosed mental health condition. (NAMI)

4. Mental health and gender

Most mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, bipolar and eating disorders, are more common in women than men. This pattern appears to hold true across most countries. Yet alcohol and substance abuse tend to be higher in men than women. While in Canada, as with many other countries, more than three quarters of suicides involve men, but women attempt suicide 3 to 4 times more often. (CAMH)

Unfortunately, during COVID, women are more at risk of financial insecurity. In a survey of more than 10,000 people in nearly 40 countries, 55 per cent of women reported a significant impact from COVID-19-related income loss, compared with 34 per cent of men, while 27 per cent of women experienced increased struggles with mental health issues, compared with 10 per cent of men. It’s becoming clear that the pandemic could have lasting impacts on the economic and mental well-being of those on low incomes. (World Economic Forum)

5. Mental health and finances

Unemployed people are less mentally and physically resilient than those in work according to a range of studies which have shown a strong correlation between unemployment, as well as job insecurity, and increased risk of depressive symptoms. (Our world in data)

Yet it’s a bit of a vicious cycle, with studies showing that people with a mental illness are much less likely to be employed, with unemployment rates are as high as 70-90 per cent for people with the most severe mental illnesses. Not only that, but people who have jobs but are in the lowest socio-economic groups are also at risk of increased mental health conditions. In Canada, people in the lowest income group are 3 to 4 times more likely than those in the highest income group to report poor to fair mental health. Additionally, studies in various Canadian cities indicate that between 23 per cent and 67 per cent of homeless people report having a mental illness. (CAMH)

6. Mental health and domestic violence

An Australian study analysed almost 500,000 police reports of domestic violence and found that mental health was an issue in both perpetrators and victims. A total of 16 per cent of the examined domestic violence events had at least one mention of a mental illness for either the perpetrator or the victim. In 76 per cent of cases, mental illness was mentioned for the perpetrator only, 17 per cent for the victim only, and 7 per cent for both victim and perpetrator. The researchers also found that mood affective disorders, which include depression or bipolar disorder, were the most common in both victims and perpetrators. (The Conversation)

7. Mental health and the LGBTIQ++ community

The prevalence of mental illness among U.S. adults who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual is more than twice as high all other demographic groups bar one at 44.1 per cent (mixed/multi-racial follow at 31.7 per cent, with all other groups sitting at 22 per cent or below). On top of that, Lesbian, gay and bisexual youth are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide than straight youth, and transgender adults are nearly 12 times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population. (NAMI)

Sadly, the LGBTIQ++ community still faces abuse, bullying, homophobic or transphobic attitudes and a lack of inclusion in even the most liberal countries and this can and does have a serious impact on many in the community’s mental health.

8. Mental health impacts physical health

In Australia, a study in 2018 showed that people with mental health conditions are at greater risk of chronic physical disease and much greater risk of early death. In fact, having a mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression, increases the risk of every single major chronic disease. This includes heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, back pain, diabetes, asthma, bronchitis, emphysema and cancer. More than 2.4 million people have both a mental and at least one physical health condition. (The Conversation)

In Canada, they also found that mental and physical health are linked, showing that people with long-term medical conditions are more likely to experience mood disorders. On the other hand, people with mood disorders are at much higher risk of developing a long-term physical condition. (CAMH)

U.S. stats support these finding and show people with depression have a 40% higher risk of developing cardiovascular and metabolic diseases than the general population. (NAMI)

9. Mental health and Indigenous peoples

In Australia, stats show Aboriginal people are much more likely to suffer from depression or dementia than other Australians. More than 30 per cent of Aboriginal people suffer from some form of psychological distress (general population is 20 per cent). Additionally, about 12 per cent of Aboriginal people aged over 45 years have dementia, with Aboriginal people living in remote communities being 10 times more likely to develop dementia than people living in countries such as Africa, India or Indonesia. (Australia and New Zealand Mental Health Association)

In Canada, First Nations youth die by suicide about 5 to 6 times more often than non-Aboriginal youth. Suicide rates for Inuit youth are among the highest in the world, at 11 times the national average. (CAMH)

10. The economic impact of poor mental health

Research shows that out of all the non-communicable diseases, youth mental health problems present the most serious burden to GDP due to the lack of the return on investment in the individual and the duration of the problem. The report estimated that by 2030 mental illness would lead to losses to global output equivalent to US$16.1 trillion. (World Economic Forum and Harvard)

In Canada, the economic burden of mental illness is estimated at $51 billion per year. This includes health care costs, lost productivity, and reductions in health-related quality of life. And in any given week, at least 500,000 employed Canadians are unable to work due to mental health problems. (CAMH) Across the U.S. economy, serious mental illness causes $193.2 billion in lost earnings each year. (NAMI)

What’s next?

I share this information in the hope that we can have more open and honest conversations about mental health. I do not want to stigmatise people with mental health issues, instead I hope that we can potentially dispel myths about mental health and raise awareness about certain groups’ vulnerability. Mostly, I hope that we can start to take systemic and meaningful action that will make a real impact on these numbers.

Interventions and programs to help people develop mental wellbeing can benefit from WHO’s breakdown of potential adverse and protective factors for mental health, which are broken down into three categories:

individual attributes and behaviours, such as genetics or personality traits;
social and economic circumstances;
environmental factors.

These factors often interact, compound or negate one another and should therefore not be considered as individual traits or exposures.

Level	Adverse Factors	Protective Factors
Individual attributes	Low self-esteem	Self-esteem, confidence
	Cognitive/emotional immaturity	Ability to solve problems & manage stress or adversity
	Difficulties in communicating	Communication skills
	Medical illness, substance use	Physical health, fitness
Social circumstances	Loneliness, bereavement	Social support of family & friends
	Neglect, family conflict	Good parenting/family interaction
	Exposure to violence/abuse	Physical security & safety
	Low income & poverty	Economic security
	Difficulties or failure at school	Scholastic achievement
	Work stress, unemployment	Satisfaction & success at work
Environmental factors	Poor access to basic services	Equality of access to basic services
	Injustice & discrimination	Social justice, tolerance, integration
	Social & gender inequalities	Social & gender equality
	Exposure to war or disaster	Physical security & safety

Source: Our World in Data

Want to learn more about the science of happiness and how to look after your mental health? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

What’s the Link Between Money and Happiness? Let’s Sort This out Once and for all.

03/02/2021 by Marie

Money Does buy Happiness

A new study suggests that the more money you have the happier you get. Period. This contradicts previous studies which have suggested that there is a plateau at $75,000. Instead, researcher Matthew Killingsworth, a senior fellow at Penn’s Wharton School who studies human happiness, says his study shows that money does influence happiness and there is no dollar value at which it stops influencing a person’s wellbeing.

Through the app ‘Track Your Happiness,’ Killingsworth collected data from 33,391 employed, 18- to 65-year-olds in the United States. This provided in-the-moment snapshots of feelings during daily life which people recorded at a few randomised times each day. “This process provided repeated snapshots of people’s lives, which collectively gives us a composite image, a stop-motion movie of their lives,” he says.

Previous studies have shown that after a certain income level, there is no measurable rise in happiness. However, contrary to earlier research, this study showed no tapering off of happiness levels at higher levels of income.

Instead, the study found that people who have higher incomes are happier. This is due in part to having more of a sense of control over life, and probably also having less financial stress in life overall. “When you have more money, you have more choices about how to live your life. You can likely see this in the pandemic. People living pay check to pay check who lose their job might need to take the first available job to stay afloat, even if it’s one they dislike. People with a financial cushion can wait for one that’s a better fit. Across decisions big and small, having more money gives a person more choices and a greater sense of autonomy.”

But even though the latest research shows that having more money makes you happier, it’s not the only factor in what make you happy. In fact, the research is still showing that if you focus only on the money, you still won’t be happy. It’s only a means to an end. There are still many unhappy people with plenty of money.

Killingsworth warns of getting stuck on the hedonic treadmill and only chasing success and money. His research shows that income is only moderately linked to happiness.

“Although money might be good for happiness, I found that people who equated money and success were less happy than those who didn’t. I also found that people who earned more money worked longer hours and felt more pressed for time,” he said. “If anything, people probably overemphasize money when they think about how well their life is going,” said Killingsworth. “

It seems, as always, that nothing is ever simple! Let’s look at the other factors and research into money and happiness.

It’s all in Your Head: Comparison and Perception

Theodore Roosevelt called comparison “the thief of joy.” Yet, in today’s day and age, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others. With social media feeds constantly reminding us of celebrities’ “perfect” lives, it’s not only hard to keep up but also hard to feel like we’re measuring up.

Yet social comparison theory suggests that we are all biologically wired to try to understand ourselves and how we fit within the world around us. This means it’s perfectly normal to look at everyone around you and think that some people are prettier, smarter, richer, happier, have more friends, better health or better jobs. The problem is that focusing on those who have more can lead to negative feelings, such as envy, poor self-esteem or unhappiness.

Research published in 2020 in the Psychological Bulletin, by researchers at Yale School of Management and Singapore Management University, suggests that it’s not so much about how much you earn, but how you perceive your earnings and standing in society compared to those around you. Instead, researchers suggest that income does not adequately capture the influence of money on happiness, and they now want to test the idea that happiness is more dependent on what people think they have compared to others.

These findings were backed up by a different study published in 2020 by the American Psychological Association that showed that there is a growing class divide in happiness in the U.S. The researchers found a link between socioeconomic status (including income, education, and occupational prestige) and happiness. Over 40 years, the happiness levels of rich individuals have been consistent, whereas the happiness levels of poorer individuals have slowly declined. Researcher Jean Twenge said the decrease in happiness among lower-income people may be a result of rising inequality, increasing real estate values and decreased ability to pay for education.

Read: Turns Out Money Does Buy You Happiness, Study Finds

The simple lesson here is to stop comparing your life to others and instead focus on the activities that can bring you happiness. It’s easier said than done, I know, but half the battle is being aware of your behaviour.

Money Does Matter at Work

Although having a lot of money won’t make you happy in and of itself, a recent study of 2,000 people in Belgium shows that it’s the main factor in our happiness at work. Human resources company Acerta found that 53 per cent of Belgians said having a good salary was key to their happiness at work, while 39 per cent wanted good work-life balance and 35 per cent said job security were important.

In support of the uPenn study, Acerta also found that 84 per cent of people surveyed want their pay to be flexible, in the form of a budget that allows them to make their own choices about pay and possible benefits. This again points to the idea that it’s not so much the money that matters, but the choice and control that it enables.

When Money Can’t buy Happiness

If all the above research stands the test of time, then it’s fair to say that you should be spending your money on experiences you can get excited about planning or enjoy and share with others – not fancy cars, bigger houses and flashy clothes.

Yet, despite all that research, there is one group for which getting material things does lead to better happiness levels: children. In a recent study, children 3-12-years-old found more happiness from material things than from experiences. This is because kids at this age are still developing their memory, so having a Barbie doll or a toy truck to play with over the year brings them more joy over time than an outing with the family, for instance, which they can easily forget.

However, the researchers note, “As children age, the happiness they derive from experiences increases, to the point that older adolescents derive more happiness from experiences than from material goods, consistent with adult findings.” So don’t go putting down that deposit on a McMansion just yet!

Read: 5 Cheap Ways to Live a Happy Life

Relationships Still win

Having a decent income plays a small factor in our happiness, more because of what it enables rather than because chasing and earning money will make you happy. So, if money isn’t the answer, then what is?

Simple. Good relationships.

Time and time again, research shows that having good relationships, with lovers, family and friends – or any combination of the three – is absolutely critical to our happiness levels. Yet, chasing money can lead us away from time with loved ones.

“When people base their self-worth on financial success, they experience feelings of pressure and a lack of autonomy, which are associated with negative social outcomes,” says Lora Park, who co-authored a recent study into money and loneliness.

“Feeling that pressure to achieve financial goals means we’re putting ourselves to work at the cost of spending time with loved ones, and it’s that lack of time spent with people close to us that’s associated with feeling lonely and disconnected,” said Deborah Ward, who led the research team.

In the end, nothing is black and white, but a lot of it is common sense if you think about it. And that’s the key. You have to think about it. Reflect.

When was the last time you felt at peace, content or happy? What brings you joy?

It’s guaranteed to fit into three foundations:

spending time with people;
doing activities you enjoy and that bring you purpose and meaning; and
looking after yourself – from getting enough sleep, and eating well, to getting outside and doing some exercise, or getting a massage.

Want to learn more about the money and happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

5 Cheap Ways to Live a Happy Life

27/01/2021 by Marie

How to Live a Happy Life

Need some more pep in your step or want to find more happiness in 2021? There’s a lot of advice out there about how to live a happier life, but a lot of it can be cost prohibitive. From year-long courses and counselling, to changing where you live or work, and planning holidays or starting new projects… it can all add up. So, what if you want to make some changes this year, but you’re on a budget?

Well, the good news is that happiness isn’t about material things. In fact, according to research from the University of Illinois Chicago about what Christmas gifts makes people happiest, it turns out that giving (and receiving) gifts that we can experience (live through) instead of material things makes us happier.

The research does show the easiest way to make gains in your happiness and how to live a happy life: plan to create meaningful experiences or share time with people you care about this year – and you can do that for very little money!

Here are our 5 cheap ways for how to live a happy life. Read on!

1. Make a Garden

There’s a reason why many doctors and therapists recommend gardening to people. By helping you to create life yourself and watching it grow into something beautiful, gardening can bring immense peace and happiness into your daily life.

Lots of people will say that they love gardening because of the outcome of it, the fresh vegetables or pretty flowers. However, many people don’t realize the positive psychological effect it has on your mind and body while you’re cultivating those plants.

According to Project Happiness, scientists say that working with soil is beneficial to your health and happiness. Soil bacterium are microscopic bacteria that enter your system when you touch soil – and they generate the feel good hormones: serotonin and dopamine.

You also get vitamin D, and although we’re warned by society to stay out of the sun, it is actually detrimental to our health if we don’t get enough of it. Sunlight allows us to stay happy and healthy while soaking in Vitamin D, which is essential for our bodies. So slap on some sunscreen and get to planting!

Seeing something you’ve worked hard on finally come to fruition is a positive experience no matter what it is you’re working on. And there’s nothing better than seeing your garden sprout beautiful flowers or fresh fruits and vegetables.

2. Go on a Walk in Nature

If you live in a big city, as most of us do, chances are walking in nature is something you don’t do enough. But finding the time to walk in nature regularly can change your life in numerous ways.

The benefits are endless:

Improved sleep. The exercise you’ll be getting will improve sleeping quality and increase the time you spend asleep. This gentle exercise can affect your body’s natural melatonin production, creating a healthier sleep schedule all around.
Increases “feel good’ hormones. Along with the increased melatonin, walking in nature will release other healthy endorphins, giving you a natural high. These endorphins will decrease pain, therefore increasing positivity and a healthy well-being.
Increased creativity. Being on a walk engages your body in a low-level activity, but it doesn’t take much mental energy effort. This allows your mind to wander, daydream and make new connections and think of new ideas.
It allows you to unplug. Our world today is full of technology and social media that lowers serotonin and productivity. Going on a walk allows you to put away the smart phone and unplug for a while without the temptation.
Increased Intake of vitamin D. Much like gardening, going for nature walks will also increase your Vitamin D intake, giving your body a hormone boost to improve your mood.
Decreased stress. Cortisol is the stress hormone. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious or stressed you will tend to have more cortisol in your body which can contribute to a wide range of unpleasant symptoms. Walking in nature can help to lower levels of cortisol in your body, in fact, a review of 24 Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) studies confirmed that simply looking at forest landscapes reduces cortisol by about 13 per cent, while walking in the woods decreases it nearly 16 per cent.
Grounds you back to what is important. Just taking the time to be in nature can help you feel more connected to the earth and its positive effects on our bodies. Even the color green alone has been shown to lower heart rate and increase calmness.
It encourages you to breathe. Our bodies breathe involuntarily, but in our day-to-day lives we rarely stop to really allow ourselves to breathe. Walking in nature encourages deep, rhythmic breathing which encourages your body to relax and feel calmer.
Increases your energy levels. It’s important to breathe fresh air away from toxins in urban areas. Walking among nature will help you breathe in pure, fresh air, resulting in you feeling invigorated and energized. On top of this, if you can make it a daily exercise or walking routine it will increase your productivity and energy in general.

3. Learn Something New

According to global consulting firm McKinsey & Company, “studies show that workers who maintain their ability to learn outpace other professionals. The people who will thrive in the 21st century will be those who embrace lifelong learning and continually increase their knowledge, skills, and competencies.”

The best part about the research on adult learning is that it’s not only the acquisition of new skills and competencies that benefit these workers. The mindset that drives people to be curious and want to learn more is also a great buffer against criticism and failure. People who have a growth mindset see failure as a part of their development journey. Learning also fuels our creativity, making us feel more productive and happier.

And, it turns out that developing a growth mindset and lifelong learning habits are skills that will benefit you well into retirement too. A recent study showed that people who keep their mind sharp in retirement tend to live longer .

According to Psycologies.co.uk, there is evidence to suggest that adult learning has the most positive impact on self-esteem and self-efficacy when the learning provided meets the needs of the learner, and when the learner is at a stage in their life when they are ready and receptive to benefit from it. So you have to find something that sparks your interest, not something you think you ‘should’ do.

A cheap way to learn something new is to create a new podcast list or create a playlist on Ted Talks. If you want to learn more about how to live a happy life, you could also check out the 5 Best FREE Positive Psychology Online Courses or these Top 5 Speakers on Gratitude.

4. Start Journaling

Do you feel emotionally stuck? Or are you going through a tough time right now? Are you curious about seeing a counsellor or feel you need to speak to a professional, but just can’t afford one?

Why not try journaling?

“When we put our thoughts and feelings down on paper, we’re not just transferring them—we’re also transforming them. Writing forces us to arrange our ideas into a sequence, one after another; over time, themes and patterns start to emerge; new insights and perspectives start to bubble up,” said Kira M. Newman on Greater Good Magazine.

Are you someone who is generally not comfortable opening up to people? Studies show that journaling might be the most beneficial to you.

To get started all you need is a notepad, and you need to get into the habit of doing it, here’s how:

Generally, you want to set a timer and just keep writing for at least 20 minutes. However, research suggests that even writing for a few minutes can be beneficial. You also want to start making this a practice. Try to write for four days a week, but as with all new habits, remember to forgive yourself if you fall short and just pick up where you left off (i.e. keep going!).

**If you’re going through a tough time and need to speak to a professional, the above information might not be suitable for you – in Australia, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 for free if you need to speak to someone. **

5. Practice Gratitude

practicing gratitude leads to a happier life

One of the easiest and cheapest ways for how to live a happy life is practicing gratitude — and it’s fully science backed. In fact, all it takes is a few minutes a day or per week. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, showed that participants who kept a gratitude journal weekly for 10 weeks or daily for two weeks experienced benefits.

These benefits included more positive moods, optimism about the future, less stress and better sleep. Gratitude also leads to higher overall wellbeing and satisfaction with your life and social relationships. Why? We’re biologically wired to look out for the bad things in life (don’t want that lion to eat us, ya know?!) so we need to balance the scales and train out brains to see the good things too. And the more you train your brain to see what you do have, the more you’ll see and appreciate the good in others and in your own life.

The research suggests that writing about what you’re grateful for is key. Translating your thoughts into concrete language makes you more aware of them, deepening their emotional impact. It’s useful to reflect on smaller, more frequent things—such as a modest bit of help from a friend or colleague. You can simply pick up a notebook from the shops and get to writing.

Not all is lost if writing isn’t your thing, I have personally found that sharing what I’m grateful for with my husband every night has had huge impacts on both of us and has also brought us closer. Instead of asking what we’re grateful for which started becoming hard not to repeat things every night, we instead ask, “tell me 3 things that went well today.”

All of these ideas and tips are proven to cheap ways for how to live a happy life. Why not get started on your happiness journey today?!

Want to learn more about how to life a happy life? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

To Make it Through Covid, Start Looking Forward

20/01/2021 by Marie

Want to be more positive? Start looking forward

If there’s one thing I love about this time of year, it’s the hope that comes with a fresh start. Even the often cynical and negative news cycle gets a positivity boost in December and January. There’s been a flurry of articles (see here and here) on how to have a more hopeful and positive year – given that 2020 was a sh*tshow – and now new research from the University of Surrey shows that there is power in having hope and looking forward.

In the study, which was published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, participants were surveyed and then randomly assigned to one of four groups. Group one completed interventions focused on nostalgia (looking at the past). Group two focused on gratitude (looking at the present). The third group focused on their best possible self (looking to the future). Following the intervention, each participant was measured on their wellbeing and positive feelings.

Results showed that the group who focused on the future (group three) had higher positive feelings. Groups two and three also had higher social connectedness than the nostalgia group (group one). The researchers concluded that focusing on the present or future during lockdown is more effective for wellbeing than focusing on the past, which alongside trait characteristics predict well-being under lockdown. As for those traits that amplified the effects of looking forward, the researchers noted that those people who had better relationships, greater emotion regulation, and more social interactions were faring better in lockdown.

So why not gift yourself some hope this new year? Here’s how to easily look forward.

Book a holiday

To start with, it’s important to be realistic about what’s doable in the middle of a volatile COVID-19 environment. My advice: don’t go booking overseas holidays or even interstate holidays. Instead, look for some natural wonders or unvisited cities or towns a bit closer to home and plan to visit and explore the area.

Make sure when you’re planning you next holiday that you enjoy the planning period too. Research shows that biggest boost in your happiness can come not from the vacation itself, but from the act of planning the vacation!

Plan a get together

Whether you plan to have a special family dinner or invite friends over for a board game (within any local lockdown rules of course), you will benefit from planning an evening and you’ll benefit from the social contact.

Researchers have found that having a family meal benefits your kids’ mental and physical health. And if you have a games night, don’t forget to let lose and have a laugh at yourself. Studies show people who make fun of themselves are in fact happier and better socially adjusted – which were some of the characteristics that predicted wellbeing during lockdown!

Get out into nature

Researchers have found that simply going for a leisurely walk can improve mood and boost subjective well-being, particularly for adults who are normally sedentary. Plus, you’ll get the added benefit of being outside in nature, which has also been shown to help people feel better.

So why not plan to go for a trip somewhere new and hike in the mountains or a walk along the beach this weekend?

Don’t’ forget once you’ve planned your activities and completed them to make sure you have other activities lines up that you can continue to look forward to! In fact, that’s a new year’s resolution I can get behind, always having something in my diary to look forward to, and if not, get to planning something!

Want to learn more about the science of happiness and how to be more positive? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!