Unapologetically Marie

Writer, podcaster, mental health advocate

Happiness Blog

Is Watching TV Good for your Happiness? (E58)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about TV watching and whether it is good or bad for your happiness levels. The answer might surprise you.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: Yay! We’re going to talk about one of… I think, a really controversial topic today, aren’t we Pete?

P: Oooh, well it’s one of my passions actually. If I was to be completely full on with my disclosure.

M: Really?

P: I am a TV addict. Yeah. I always was as a kid.

M: I like TV.

P: It’s gone into my adult years and I’m not [Prudish accent] ‘Oh, I don’t watch television, I just read books.’

Boring! Laugh. Give me Disney.

M: Ok, laugh. Fair, fair.

P: Laugh.

M: I have met people who don’t watch TV and don’t have a TV in their homes. And I often, you know, picture them being lovely families who have family dinners without any –

P: Oh, they’re way more functional.

M: Absolutely.

P: Really, I’m jealous. These people that don’t have TV like Jonathan Piet he was the guy in our year who didn’t have TV. He was really clever.

M: Yep.

P: And he introduced me to Lord of the Rings, there you go.

M: Yep, there you go. So, they’re reading books and they’re listening to podcasts.

P: I know, yeah.

M: They’re just expanding their minds and their horizons.

P: Yeah, so good.

M: And we’re watching…

P: Ha, ha!

M & P: Grace and Frankie. Laughter!

P: Oh my goodness, we just picked the same sitcom.

M & P: Laugh!

P: That’s buddies! Laugh. So we are talking about TV.

M: And TV watching and whether it is good or bad for your happiness.

P: I’m open to this. So I’m flying by the seat of my pants on this one. Marie has found some information and some studies on this.

M: Yes. So I put out a newsletter every week and in part of that I do a lot of reading about latest news, and we are going to be talking about one article that came out in Medical Express within the past week by Christian Van Nieuwerburgh,

P: Yes, well done Muz!

M: Laugh, and Kirsty Gardner-

P: See Kirsty’s name is much easier.

M: Much easier, laugh.

– Called How watching TV in lock down can be good for you, according to science.

P: Wow, It’s all about science.

M: That had me, right there.

P: Laugh!

M: I was like ‘Alright, I’m in!’ And also because there’s this part of me that has been raised and brought up to feel guilty about watching too much TV.

P: Yep, I had that self-imposed actually, I was never told that I shouldn’t watch TV. But you know, Jonathan Piet ruined me, laugh.

M: Yeah, I don’t think my parents, you know, we didn’t watch hours and hours of TV.

P: Mmm.

M: I think that this article in particular starts off by putting it in context of the lockdowns and the increase in people’s TV watching.

P: So people are watching more TV in the pandemic?

M: Absolutely and particularly when they go in to lock down.

P: Yeah, that’s understandable.

M: So, you know, we’re still in the pandemic but in Australia we’re not lock down right now.

P: True.

M: So, we’re still in this weird “in between” right now in Australia. But in countries that are in lock down, in the UK, they talk about stats that showed that during the first lock down, UK streaming and TV watching went up by 30% and people were watching as much as six hours of content a day.

P: [Gasp] Oh, that’s a lot.

M: Yeah, we’re judging now aren’t we?

P: Laugh! I’m a binge watcher, but six hours?

M: Six hours a day!

P: Yeah, wow.

M: That is a lot that.

P: Yeah, that is a lot. I need to clean something in between that.

M & P: Laugh!

M: Well, so they looked at TV watching, and I think just like the social constructs that we apply to ourselves, we just both went ‘eeuurgh, too much.’

P: Laugh.

M: Right?

P: But you can understand why though, you’ve got nowhere to go, you’re not allowed to go outside. So…

M: It makes sense.

P: It make total sense, and you’re like, ‘well, I’m forced to be home, so let’s binge watch that series that I’ve been putting off for two years that everybody else has watched and talking about around the pub.

M: Who did that?

P: Laugh.

M: Repeatedly?

P & M: Laugh.

P: I’m always a late watcher of series.

M: Me too.

P: I’m always two years late. I’m like ‘Have you seen Outlander?’

‘Yeah, it’s in Season five now, Pete.’

… ‘I’ll catch up.’

M: Laugh. I pretty much have to wait for two of my friends to tell me that something is good before I’ll –

P: Before you trust it, laugh.

M: Yeah, my time is limited.

P: Exactly.

M: So not only did TV watching increase by 30% but 12 million people in the UK signed up for a new streaming service during a lock down.

P: Yeah, wow.

M: That’s huge. And then Netflix has now more than 200 million subscribers worldwide. So, we’re watching TV. The question that we still haven’t discussed is whether or not it’s good for you.

P & M: Laughter.

P: Well, I use TV to relax. At the end of a day.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: … I’m usually a pretty active person, like I’ll go to work and I’ll cycle here and I’ll play some volleyball, go to Gym and I’ll do some yoga but them when I get home, and I lie on my lovely couch, that TV is on and it’s like ‘yeah, chill.’ And I’m actually going through a bit of a period now, having gone back to university, where I’m physically not watching television.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: I’m like ‘I’ve gotta read, I’ve gotta study’ and even now I’ll pop something on just for half an hour, usually an opposite of Grace and Frankie. That just lets me unwind or something that I’ve watched before that I don’t necessarily have to focus on. But I use it as that I’m doing nothing.

M: Do you have a sick movie? When you’re home sick, and you put it on and you know it’ll be OK and you fall asleep.

P: Anything on the Disney Channel.

M: Laugh.

P: Where there’s singing and princesses and leading men, laugh.

M: Love it. When I was a kid for me, it was always Annie.

P: Ah.

M: Mum would put the VHS in, laugh.

P: Oh, gosh. Yes, laugh.

M: And I’d have two minute noodles for lunch and creaming soda.

P: Oh Ann Reinking. God bless us all.

M: Yep. So we know that TV can bring us positive emotions as we’ve just talked out there.

P: Yes.

M: And that is the first crux of the argument.

P: Yes.

M: That positive emotions can help with mood and can help with mental well-being.

P: Agreed.

M: And this has been researched by a million different people, including, you know, the father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman.

P: Ooh.

M: So, positive emotions are one of the building blocks of our well-being. So it makes sense if we’re going to watch feel good shows on TV that they’re going to give us positive emotions.

P: Mmm. We need the Hollywood happy ending.

M: Yes, so this is the first lesson. What you watch matters.

P: Laugh, don’t watch Russian drama.

M & P: Laugh. Or French… anything.

P: No Chekov!

M: Laugh.

P: No Irish.

M: It matters what you watch if you want a positive outcome from it.

P: Ok.

M: From a mood perspective, and during a lock down we can all use a little bit more positive and a little bit less negative. So, if your go to is war movies or crying dramas, you might want to change what you normally watch rather than decrease the amount of hours you watch.

P: Is there a sort of cathartic experience, though, in that big drama film that gets you absolutely bawling your eyes out? Laugh. I feel quite uplifted after watching something like that, I feel very satisfied.

M: For six hours a day?

P: …

M: Yeah, So I think that.

P: Laugh.

M: I think the everything in moderation thing is really what we’d would point to here.

P: But does this come back also to the argument of, it’s taking you away from your inside head. So watching a film that’s really engaging and truly beautiful, even though it leaves you in a weeping mess at the end of it, does that still have a positive effect because it’s taking you into awe inspiring and motivating stories and gives you an insight into the ultimate triumph of the human spirit?

M: So, I’d argue there that the things that you said before the I balled for five minutes part.

P: Laugh.

M: Were things that are making you feel good and whether that was a podcast that opened your mind to a whole other field that you’d never considered.

P: Yes.

M: Whether it was the theory of relativity or creating artwork on the streets of Chile or whatever it is that gets your attention and –

P: And holds it.

M: Yep.

P: It has that mindfulness moment that we always talk about.

M: Yep, and creates positive emotions and positive emotions for someone like me. I’m very drawn to intellectual pursuits, and so I could sit there and read for hours on end and feel really good about that. Whereas that might be someone else’s version of hell.

P: Yep.

M: Right? So, it is very subjective.

P: So, it’s a personal perspective.

M: Personal thing. But if, you know, if you find awe,

P & M: Laughter.

M: And then have a bit of a cry. But then overall experience it as a positive emotion or a positive experience, then I’d say that could be beneficial.

P: Good.

M: Definitely. So, Barbara Frederickson and again just coming back to this article because I do want to give credit, where credit’s due. We are discussing an article.

P & M: Laugh.

P: We did not write this stuff.

M: We did not write this, we are just discussing the various parts of this article, so I didn’t want to be in trouble for plagiarism.

P: Thanks Barbara.

M: Laugh.

P: We love your work.

M: So, Barbara Frederickson, as mentioned in this article, talks a lot about – and again another bigwig in the positive psychology space- talks about how experiencing positive emotions could have a long term sustainable impact on well-being. So when we feel good, our minds open and our awareness broadens.

P: Mmm. So we start looking for more feelgood.

M: Yes, absolutely. And this is actually pointing to TV being a really good way to cope with the negative aspects of being in lock down or Covid more broadly.

P: I’ll take that as my excuse next time I’m challenged to binge watch.

M & P: Laugh.

M: So, we have also spoken a million times about how positive experiences and good mood impact your body, your physical body.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: So we won’t necessarily rehash all of that. But all of the great chemicals that run around in your brain definitely still apply in this situation as well. So, good for your mind, good for your body.

P: Unless you’re eating potato chips for six hours a day and pizza and not doing any exercise which can happen in lock down.

M: Well, I’m glad you mentioned that Pete.

P: Oh, did I just lead you into something?

M: Laugh. Because there is a big but!

P: Laughter! I could see my personal trainer friends going ‘What!’

M: A very big but that comes with all of this conversation.

P: [Silly voice] I’ve got a big butt, what’s the big but?

M: TV doesn’t necessarily always make you feel better. And there’s a lot of behaviours that come with TV watching, which can be bad for you.

P: Here we go, strap yourselves in people.

M: So, you’ve already mentioned sitting down for six hours is really not healthy, so anything you could do to encourage movement while you’re watching TV is really good for your body.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: So, if you can put a treadmill in front of the TV or one of those little stair climbers or just do squats on the couch, up and down, up and down or calf raises anything like that in ad breaks.

P: The treadmill works really well. I remember when I didn’t have a TV when I first went back to Sydney. I was living in Potts Point, I used to go to Fitness First Kings Cross because they had TVs in front of the treadmill, I could watch The Simpsons.

M: Maybe that is the trick for people who don’t watch TV. They’re all just in the gyms.

P: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

M: I like this.

P: It was great. I never ran, but I’d run for 30 minutes because I wanted to see the Simpsons.

M: Love it! It actually goes to a lot of the research on habit making.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: If you have something that you want to make a habit. Make it about the reward.

P: Yep.

M: Yep.

P: Yep.

M: Simpson’s, I love it.

Okay, so firstly, sitting [for prolonged periods] is really bad.

Secondly, it opens a lot of people up to binge eating.

So when you’re mindlessly watching TV rather than fully engaged in what you’re watching.

P: Mmm.

M: Our hands and minds tend to wander. We call that mindlessly watching. So, if any of you’ve ever found yourself out on the couch watching TV and also writing to friends on messenger or checking your e mail.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: That’s mindless.

P: Yep, and then all of a sudden, a bag of Doritos has gone when you only intended to wait a half of them.

M: Mmm hmm. Yep.

P: Yes.

M: I mean, I’ve never been there.

P: Laugh!

M: All the doughnuts… I don’t know what you’re talking about Pete?

P: I’m laughing, I’ve seen it! I have evidence!

M & P: Laughter.

M: What doughnuts?

P: Gluten free ones of course.

M: Laugh, oh dear. Moving on.

P: Fairy floss.

M: Fairy floss is on purpose always on purpose.

P: Laugh.

M: So, watching TV mindlessly, apart from the potential weight gain implications of mindless TV watching, that is your danger zone. So, if you are just mindlessly moving through channels to pass the time.

P: The scrolling concept!

M: Yep.

P: So dangerous.

M: Absolutely.

P: And you could do it on devices as well, where you if you’re just mindlessly scrolling and you’re not stopping to purposefully read or purposefully watch, that’s the first sign I think of danger.

M: And the danger here is that you are probably doing that at the expense of other things that a good for your well-being.

P: Yep, Absolutely.

M: So, if you’re spending hours mindlessly scrolling to fill the hours in the day, you’re probably not spending time preparing and cooking healthy meals. You’re probably not spending time going out in exercising socialising with friends, whether it is virtual in the current environment or whether it is actually in person. All of those things are really important. And if we’re scrolling mindlessly for endless hours, it often comes at the expense of all those other activities.

P: Yep, I couldn’t agree more.

M: Yep. And a lot of people will do this the most with their significant other.

P: Now that intrigues me, all these couples sitting down on their devices and not actually looking at each other.

M: Well, I don’t know about you, but I get home from work and I’m naked. So it takes an actual mental effort not to sit on the couch with my husband after dinner. Now we make sure we do device free dinners.

P: Yep.

M: But then after that, it’s not like I want to open a philosophy book and discuss Kant.

P: Oh, no, no, I can understand.

M: So, it is that relax time at the end of the day, and I have an early morning routine, and then I do a 10 hour day at work. And then there’s dinner, and you know by the time we’re done with all that, eeuggh, exactly.

P: True.

M: But what it does mean is that time on the couch. You kind of feel like you spent time with his significant other. But you really haven’t.

P: You haven’t engaged with them.

M: Yeah, absolutely, and that’s a really dangerous place for the relationship to get to is where you are spending time together, but you’re not spending quality time together.

P: Sort of explains the whole concept of the goggle box TV show, doesn’t it.

M: Oh, I love goggle box!

P: People actually conversing whilst they’re watching something I actually when I first heard about this I thought ‘Oh how silly, I don’t want to watch people watching TV’, but the actual idea of it is like ‘yeah, it’s actually discourse and it’s families spending time watching TV and commenting on what they’re seeing.’ And you see different perspectives that’s quality time.

M: And sharing in the experience. So that is again, yeah, like you could have written this article Pete.

P: [derisive noise]

M: That is the next point. If you are going to watch TV with someone else, you can make it a social experience.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: So, don’t fast forward through the ads. Actually, discuss what you’ve seen.

P: Yeah, interact with each other. I like that idea.

M: Absolutely. So, I want to ask Pete if you had to recommend some shows for people in lock down that will bring them positive emotions?

P: Ooh, yes. I’m going to show my nerdy side here.

M: Go for it.

P: I got entranced by an ABC TV series called Searching for Superhuman. It was only a very short serious. I think there were only six episodes and It’s all about the body and our awareness and what we’re doing. And, I’ve actually referenced a lot of the research in our previous podcasts, laugh. I’ve gotten a lot of information from there for a while.

M: Nice.

P: Oh, this is good, and this is good.

M: Laugh.

P: But it was a science programme that was presented, and they had lots of interesting interviews and people talking about different aspects of the body and how we’re ageing and how we can age better and what we need to do in the future on what are current risks are. I found that fascinating.

And possibly anything with David Attenborough.

M: Hmm…

P: Yeah.

M: Well, that comes back to the awe factor that you were talking about.

P: Oh, oh!

M: Laugh, yeah?

P: And there’s another woman [Samantha Morris], I can never remember her name. She’s the animal geek on ABC. What she does is she watches all the Facebook videos of people doing stupid things with wild animals.

M: Laugh!

P: And then she actually breaks down what’s going on. And she’s like ‘Look, the sea lion was ready to pounce. He went down before he came up and grabbed that Chinese girl and pulled her into the ocean.’ She’s very funny, she’s got big glasses and she’s wonderful.

M: Love it. For me, there’s some great recommendations. At the end of this article, they mention Queer Eye, which I love.

P: Oh, yeah.

M: I love all of your HD TV kind of home reno/ makeover.

P: That’s teary.

M: It is but in such a good way. And then definitely, Grace and Frankie.

P: Yes, laugh.

M: I always loved big Bang theory.

P: Oh yes, it’s still a go to, isn’t it?

M: It really is.

P: It’s witty humour, it’s written so well.

M: Absolutely, and Sheldon reminds me of my husband.

P: Laugh, I can’t get that image out of my head now.

M: Laugh, he’s a chemical engineer and student.

P & M: Laughter!

M: So, definitely they’re my go to’s. And we in the house have been watching Brooklyn 99.

P: Oh, ok.

M: So that brings out some laughs as well. The other thing I’ve started getting into is podcasts more recently.

P: Mmm, yes.

M: And audio books, so as I said before, I am drawn to learning new things, novel things, and I definitely spent a lot of time doing that during lockdown.

P: I have that in the car, listening to the BBC World Service, that was very interesting.

M: You know what I miss about the state’s [US], NPR National Public Radio they do some really good broadcasting, worth checking out.

P: Ok.

M: All right, well, on that note, if you find any positive programmes feel free to write in and let us know.

P: Do some research, go and spend six hours in front of a TV, see how you feel?

M: Laugh.

P: Write about it, blog about it, let us know.

M: Yeah, write to us and recommend your TV recommendations for positive emotions. But I think the summary of this article, and of everything we’ve spoken about is it’s all about taking control of your TV watching.

P: Mmm, mmm.

M: So being really, aware of your TV watching habits and when they’re healthy and positive and proactive and when they’re not, when they’re just mindless.

P: Yeah, good options.

M: Yep. So, what is the end conclusion? Is TV watching good for us?

P: I’m saying yes, because science says so.

M: Laugh.

And on that note, I think we’ll finish.

P: Laugh.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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Signs Of Burnout At Work

by

signs of burnout at work

5 Signs of Burnout at Work and How to Gracefully Bounce Back

Feeling stressed, tired, unmotivated, and irritable at work?

You might be suffering from work burnout.

It’s a common condition – so common, in fact, that it is now considered a diagnosable medical condition. The World Health Organization (WHO) added burnout to its International Classification of Diseases in 2019.

According to recent statistics, 23 per cent of workers report work burnout either “very often” or “always”, and 44 per cent of workers report feeling burnt out “sometimes.” This is a shockingly high amount of employees who are experiencing an extreme amount of work stress.

If work is starting to get the best of you (and not in a good way), these numbers prove you’re not alone. It’s incredibly common – which means it’s crucial to recognise the signs of burnout at work and act before it gets out of hand.

In this article, we’ll explore the definition of work burnout, the signs and symptoms of the condition, and some constructive things you can do to ease these negative feelings (and hopefully replace them with happy ones!)

Job Burnout Definition

Work burnout is a form of work-related stress which can cause both physical and emotional exhaustion.

The term was coined in 1974 in Herbert Fredenberger’s book Burnout: The High Cost of High Achievement. He defined burnout as “the extinction of motivation or incentive, especially where one’s devotion to a cause or relationship fails to produce the desired results.”

In the International Classification of Diseases, WHO described burnout as:

“A syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;  2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) reduced professional efficacy. Burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.”

Some common causes of burnout include:

  • Lack of control over your schedule, deadlines, and workload.
  • Unclear work expectations and limited resources to make life easier.
  • No work life balance and no time or energy for friends, family, exercise, and hobbies.
  • Lack of social support and workplace isolation.
  • Concentrating too hard for too long and long periods of high activity.
  • Dysfunctional workplace dynamics, bullying, and micromanaging.
  • Expecting too much from yourself and experiencing a constant sense of failure.

The result? An overwhelming sense of self doubt, a lack of motivation, hating work, and a negative or cynical response to workplace situations. The urge to call in sick can also be much higher – you desperately need a break, but it feels like you can’t take time off or you might lose your job and source of income.

The longer you endure work burnout symptoms, the worse it will get. It’s crucial to recognise the signs of burnout at work and take action before things get out of control.

Here are some of the most common signs of burnout at work – read them, recognise them, and reach out for help!

#1. Frustration and Irritability

holding up an angry sign
Image: Unsplash

One of the most common signs of burnout at work is anger, sarcasm, and cynicism. No one likes their schedule to be packed with work – as the work piles up and personal time becomes scarce, it’s not surprising that people start to feel tired and stressed.

Stress mixed with exhaustion can manifest itself into a temperamental mood – even the little things seem irritating, like a coworker asking for help or interrupting your sense of concentration.

As the frustration builds, you might even start emotionally distancing yourself from your coworkers, skipping out on social events, and responding to workplace situations with cynicism. For example, a coworker might ask you to do something for them, and you might think it’s not worth doing, or it’s stupid.

Maintaining a negative outlook at work can get you on hot water – so it’s essential to recognise the cause of your frustration and get some help.

#2. Spending More Time Working but Getting Less Done

woman working at her laptop
Image: Unsplash

Naturally, if you’re feeling frustrated about work, you’ll have less motivation to get things done or even show up to work at all. Alternatively, you might struggle to concentrate because you’re feeling so stressed and worn out. You might find yourself spending a lot of time on a task – more than usual – but not getting everything done, or the quality of your work is much lower than usual.

Frustration and cynicism tends to get in the way of productivity – interest in the task at hand is down, or non-existent.

#3. More Mistakes and Decreased Efficiency

broken plate at a restaurant
Image: Unsplash

Finding it hard to concentrate or stay motivated at work? There’s a good chance mistakes are going to be made – if you work in an office setting, you might forget to file paperwork or make important calls. In a restaurant, you could drop a plate, forget an order, or deliver a meal to the wrong table.

Work burnout can have a serious impact on your overall performance – and even the security of your job. If you’re stressed, overwhelmed, and becoming prone to making mistakes, it’s time to reach out and talk to your boss about taking a break.

#4. Headaches and Fatigue

burned out man with headache
Image: Unsplash

Tension headaches are a common sign of burnout at work. These headaches are characterised by dull pain, tightness, or pressure around your forehead, the back of your head, and even your neck. Sometimes it can feel like a clamp squeezing your head – needless to say, it’s unpleasant!

Work burnout causes headaches for a couple of reasons. For one, you’re probably not getting enough rest – your schedule is packed and you’re probably thinking about work even when you’re trying to go to sleep!

Second, the stress might be causing tightened muscles in the back of your neck and scalp. The constant strain is bound to give you a throbbing headache. While headaches can be treated with off-the-shelf painkillers, stress can’t. It’s important to nip your headaches in the bud and address your work stress.

#5. Self Medicating With Alcohol, Smoking or Substances

burned out man drinking alone at a bar
Image: Unsplash

When work has got you feeling stressed, worn out, and even depressed, it might be tempting to pour yourself a drink when you get home from work, or sit outside and smoke cigarettes (among other things). It’s incredibly common – in fact, around 71% of all Americans who abuse drugs and alcohol are employed.

Substance abuse provides a temporary high or “relief” from the stress – it’s a short term fix, but it’s not worth the time (or the money). Quite often, the “come down” is worse than the negative feelings you were trying to drown out in the first place.

Alcohol, for example, affects happiness chemicals in your brain like serotonin and dopamine. While you get a boost of happiness while you’re drinking, your brain will need to catch up the next morning. Your brain will be deficient in happiness chemicals leaving you feeling hopeless and depressed.

Substance abuse is a vicious circle. If you’re struggling with substance abuse and self medicating, please get in touch with your doctor, counsellor, or even a helpline like Beyond Blue or even Lifeline on 13 11 14.

How to Ease the Symptoms of Feeling Burnt Out at Work

While burnout sounds like a permanent condition or “disease”, it’s 100% reversible. There are a few simple things you can try to ease your work stress, refresh your mind, and make positive steps towards work satisfaction.

  • Talk to your boss about how you’re feeling and work towards creating a positive work environment. If they’re supportive, they will work with you to solve the problem – whether it’s reducing your workload, providing stress management training, or making changes to the workplace to make employees feel safe, relaxed, and welcome.
  • Reframe the way you look at work. When you’re suffering from work burnout, it can be hard to see the positive side of things. At one point, there must have been something you liked about your job. Think about your workplace or role and write down the things you like, even if it’s having a coffee with your coworkers. This will help ease the negative feelings you associate with work.
  • Practice mindfulness while at work. Taking a moment to be mindful at work can help you de-stress in a matter of minutes. Practice some mindfulness exercises like staying present in the moment, count your senses (like three noises around you), or focus on your breathing. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring yourself back to the moment and focus on yourself.
  • Consider changing jobs, positions, or even going back to school. Love your job? This step is not for you. This is for all the people who hate their work and have never, ever felt satisfaction from their role. It might be time to start looking for other jobs or even re-training and chasing what you really want to do in life. Consider your passion and purpose in life – it could be a golden opportunity to move on.
  • Set up some self care strategies like regular exercise, healthy eating, new hobbies, and putting your emails away after work. It can be difficult to find time for yourself when you’ve got a massive workload. However, it’s the “me” activities that bring fun and happiness to your life! Make sure to schedule in time for working out, experimenting with healthy new foods and diets, seeing friends, and enjoying your hobbies. Plus, disconnect from your work emails (if you have them). You’re not getting paid after hours!
  • Take regular breaks at work – and make them non-negotiable. A huge contributor to work burnout is working through your break. Maybe you’re too stressed to eat, or you’re too busy to stop and take a second for yourself. You need to take breaks, have some food, and unwind – even if it’s just half an hour. Set break times and stick to them.
  • Take a week off to recharge. It’s not a 100% effective solution – you will still have to go back to work, unless you decide to resign. However, it can be good to take some time off and focus on yourself rather than the daily grind. Consider booking a holiday – even if it’s just camping somewhere closeby.

Feeling burnt out at work? Sign up to my email newsletter for more tips and advice for reducing stress in the workplace.

Planning a Holiday (E57)

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Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about the science behind planning holidays, and why you need to always have your next holiday planned. 

Show notes:

During the episode Pete briefly mentions a misadventure to Carcassonne while on holidays and says that they will come to it later in the episode. Unfortunately, they ran out of time to share this anecdote at this time.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: [Excited voice] Welcome back to Happiness for Cynics!

P: Laugh. She’s doing fist bumps people.

M: Laugh. So today we’re talking about why you need to plan your next holiday now.

P: Oh, that’s why you’re excited! We’re talking about your favourite thing to do.

M: Yes!

P: I’ve got to say it, if you’ve ever been on a holiday with Marie, she puts all my spreadsheets to shame.

M: Laugh.

P: Absolute shame.

M: Because, I buy into what we’re talking about today.

P: Oh, do you ever! Laugh.

M: It brings me so much joy to take trips and to explore the world.

P: See, I don’t think Covid would have affected you at all because you would have planned everything and then gone ‘Oh, ok I can’t go but I still get the benefit of actually planning one. Laugh.

M: Well, that is the first point that we’re going to discuss. There is benefit in planning a trip, and some of the research actually shows that just the act of planning your trip can bring as much joy if not more joy than the trip itself.

P: So we should actually plan our Covid holidays. And when they don’t happen, don’t be upset.

M: Or plan holidays that you know you will be able to do regardless what happens. So we went away over Christmas and the way that we planned that was we got a camper van for the first time ever.

P: Laugh.

M: Did something a little different and booked places to visit that were within our state.

P: Oh yeah.

M: So regardless of whether our borders shut or not… yeah. And a lot of people are actually rediscovering towns and cities within their own state.

P: Oh, yeah. The rural areas of New South Wales have had a huge influx. Like Mudgee is going off. For those of you who are our international listeners, Mudgee was a sleepy little town that I knew as a boy way back when had lots of birds and a soccer pitch from memory. Anyway, small little town in the central west of New South Wales. Central west? Or? Yeah, central west I think and it has changed, its turned itself around and become this Airbnb, wine, weekend away mecca.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And it doesn’t really good job, laugh. And this cute little provincial rural Australian town is doing so well.

M: So if you’re listening, why not plan a trip? To Mudgee.

P: There you go, I want to go. I told my client this afternoon I want to go on.

M: And the research is showing is, going to Mudgee would be great, I am sure, but planning the trip to go to Mudgee so getting online and everyone could do this nowadays.

P: Yep.

M: You don’t have to walk into a travel agent and ask them about Mudgee. You can go and Google or whatever your search engine is. And then look up what there is to do in the area.

P: Yeah.

M: So.

P: And then decide to go to Carcassonne on the way anyway. Laughter!

M: Wrong country.

P: The best laid plans can be adapted, that was my point of that one.

M: Yes, absolutely. So just because you’re planning doesn’t mean that there can be no room for spontaneity.

P: Absolutely.

M: And I would highly encourage room for spontaneity.

P: We did that. It was very fun, anyway, we’ll get to that. That’s a personal anecdote that we’ll do later.

M: One thing that is important when it comes to planning trips is to give yourself enough time to plan ahead.

P: I like this point, because this is thing, I used to be like ‘Oh, I’ll do it all on the plane when I go’.

M: Yes, and what that does is add stress. So not only are you getting on the plane going ‘Oh crap, I haven’t booked the hotel for the first night, I’ve got to do that and hopefully I can find a rental car, or how do I get to the city from the airport?’

P: Laugh.

M: All of that stuff that just makes you a little bit more stressed. If you plan it ahead of time, then things can run a lot more smoothly. And there is research that shows that poorly planned and stressful vacations eliminate the benefits of time away.

P: Oh!

M: So it’s not even worth taking the trip if you’re not going to plan it out ahead of time, and it’s just going to be stressful.

P: Really?! Okay… Personal experience tells me that that’s not necessarily true because there is a certain adventurousness in not planning and going I’m just going to fly by the seat of my pants and turn up in Scotland and see what happens.

M: Which is fine if it’s not stressful.

P: Okay, so that’s the trick.

M: That’s the trick. Would you show up in New Delhi –

P: Laugh.

M: – without plans?

P: Laugh, it could be adventurous?

M: It wouldn’t go so well.

P: The Amazing Race does it?

M & P: Laughter!

M: They’ve got a lot of support around them. And I would argue that it is very stressful still.

P: But I see what you’re saying here. But that also comes back to some of the other stuff that we’ve talked about in other episodes is that changing your mind set. So, if you’re going on an adventure holiday, where you’re going to challenge yourself not to plan anything.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: You have to choose not to get stressed about it and so if you end up sleeping in a ditch on the side of the road at 4 in the morning because you’ve gotten lost in the hire car, then you’ve kind of gotta go, ‘Oh, well, this’s an adventure.’

M: Says the white man.

P: Oh!! Really? Really?

M: As a female sleeping in a ditch in a foreign country is… I wouldn’t sleep.

P: Ok. Oh, alright.

M: Well actually, this is a really good point. And sorry, that was a bit harsh.

P: You just totally shut me down, laugh.

M: There was a study done in 2016, and Shawn Achor & Michelle Gielan, his wife, did a whole lot of research into the benefits of taking your vacation time, taking your holiday time. And they looked specifically at people who were, full time salaried employees who have no excuse not to take their holidays.

P: Yeah.

M: It’s given to you. You get your four weeks a year, and particularly in the States you can lose your holiday. It’s not a thing that you have as much in Australia, but they take it back if you don’t use it a lot of the time over there.

P: Oh, really!

M: And still, a lot of Americans were taking less and less time off. And so there was this idea that it would benefit you in your career to take less time off.

P: Yep.

M: You could do more, your boss doesn’t think you’re a slacker.

P: Is that an old world kind of opinion?

M: Pressure?

P: Is that an old school kind of thinking? 50s, 60s?

M: Well, the research that they did in 2016 debunked that.

P: Yeah, righto.

M: Absolutely debunked it, And America’s a strange case. So, in Europe they’re used to, having four to six weeks in Australia four weeks is pretty standard, I think New Zealand’s pretty similar.

P: Yeah.

M: In America, when I first started and joined a major multinational corporation, I had ten days, so two weeks.

P: Oh! Wow.

M: And after five years, you go up to 15 days, and after ten years you get to your full four weeks and you have to work up to that four weeks. And still a lot of Americans don’t take their full allocation of leave.

P: You hear of this a lot actually. Americans not buying into that whole time off aspect of work.

M: And they’re working longer hours too. The work culture in America is definitely going the opposite direction from the Nordic countries.

P: Mmm, interesting.

M: And even New Zealand and now Australia are even talking in a lot of companies about doing four day weeks. Whereas Americans are not doing 40 hour weeks, they’re doing 50 and 60 hour weeks.

P: Mmm.

M: And not taking their holidays.

P: Yeah, that’s not good for you long term, either.

M: No, absolutely.

This study back to the point we were talking about before, talked about the things that you need to get the most benefit out of your holiday.

P: Ok.

M: So firstly, planning ahead.

P: Yeah.

M: Two, creating social connections on the trip. So, it’s great if you could go with your family or friends.

P: Ok.

M: But if not, then do activities where you can meet other people. So group activities where you can be social.

P: Museum tours.

M: With other people? Sure. Don’t be 100% by yourself if you are travelling.

P: Yeah, well it was always nice to have a connection there that would meet for lunch or something, or that you’re meeting up with friends later on in the trip.

M: Yeah.

P: That was actually a really good way. And it’s something that I have actually maintained with my holiday planning is I’ll often go three days earlier, have my solo time and then catch up with the group.

M: The research shows that having some social time is beneficial.

P:  Communal time, social activity is beneficial, yeah.

M: Three go far away from your work. And I think this is a digital and physical requirement.

P & M: Laughter!

P: Yes, I agree. Don’t take the computer.

M: Yes. Turn off… well, no one has blackberries anymore.

P: Laugh. Showing your age Muz.

M: Don’t take your work phone with you if you can.

And the next one was a feeling of safety.

P: Huh.

M: And this goes back to you sleeping in a ditch which, when I was 18 I probably would have thought was fine. But now, with a little bit of hindsight, I can see the danger in me sleeping in a ditch.

P: Laugh, true.

M: So as long as you feel safe, then I do agree with you, go for it, add a little spontaneity. Don’t book some stuff. Give yourself the freedom to just explore without any set agenda.

P: And be reactive, yeah.

M: If you’re the kind of person that that doesn’t bring stress to. Or you know you can do it in safety.

P: So, know the kind of traveller you are.

M: Yeah.

P: OK, that makes sense. I like that.

M: And if it’s not going to impact your safety. So if you’re a female travelling by yourself, there’s a whole slew of other things you need to just be aware of, particularly in quite a few countries that aren’t comfortable with Australia.

P: True. I remember rescuing two twins from America in Italy once. These two girls got off the train – this’s the classic case, so I had not planned my accommodation. I actually, no I had. I planned my accommodation when I landed in umm… where was I going?

M: That place.

P: Northern Italy. Yeah, up the top, that area, laugh.

M: Milan?

P: Milan, there we go! And so I was planning my accommodation. I got there and the youth hostel was closed and I spent six hours in the winter walking around trying to find a room that I could afford, and you are my very basic Italian it was very, very difficult. Eventually, I found one on was so grateful and then went out for a bite to eat. I think I went out for Maccas of all things.

M: Laugh.

P: And as I was walking past the train station, these two young American girls had gotten off the train with their backpacks and they had no idea what they were doing and they had no accommodation. And so, me being the good old Ozzie went, That’s okay ‘I can speak Italian.’

M & P: Laughter.

P: And went door knocking with them –

M: Awwww.

P: – trying to find a motel that they could afford and they found one, which was great. But I see what you’re saying about safety that’s really important and I did look at these two American girls going, ‘Oh, dear, you’ve got less of an idea that what I’ve got.’ Laugh.

M: Mmm hmm.

So, the things [for planning a successful holiday] are:

  • You need to plan ahead;
  • You need to create social connections;
  • You need to go far from your work; and
  • You need to feel safe.

And if you do those four things, the 94% of vacations have a good return on investment in terms of your energy and outlook. When you return to work. As long as you plan the trip well in advance.

P: I like this point, can we expand on this a little bit? The investment in a holiday?

M: Yes.

P: It is an investment.

M: It is. It’s about taking time for you.

P: To re-energise and that’s coming from someone who did work for six years without a holiday.

M: Cray cray..

P: Yeah, and I didn’t realise it at the time, and it took my business coach, the lovely Wally Salinger, Ah, Wally, I miss you. Waking me up at 7 am with cups of tea when I haven’t woken up for our 7 am meeting yet. Umm, not every business coach gets that, but yes.

M: Laugh.

P: I just spent all these years just working, working because my came from that work ethic of you keep working, you don’t take holidays, you keep going because you think that it’s more beneficial and Wally and his partner decided to encourage me to take my first holiday and bought me my first three nights in Amsterdam for the accommodation and said, ‘You’re going, you’re finally investing in this and here’s your little prize’. So I had my three nights of accommodation in Amsterdam, but that trip, I came back full of beans. I came back with so much energy and clarity on I’d had the chance to step away from my work and got perspective on things.

I think that was the real advantage of the investment. So that then I came back and started planning yearly holidays. I was like, I’m gonna have a holiday in October and it was the best thing I could have done.

M: I am prone to burn out.

P & M: Laugh!

M: I’m not very good at saying no, and I take a lot on at work and I’m bit of a perfectionist.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And so, year after year, I get to my holiday and I am just frazzled and stressed and low on resilience.

P: Yep.

M: And I know these that these are things I’m still working on.

P & M: Laughter.

M: But every time I take a holiday, I come back with so much more clarity, so much more emotional resilience, so much more of an ability to plan and think strategically, and to get out of the weeds and get out of the emotion and be such a better employee and to actually like my job again.

P: Yeah, yeah.

M: So, we know that it makes sense to take time off work. It’s good for you. It’s good for your career progression, it’s good for your success at work. It lowers your stress, makes you happier at home and at work. But also in a time of a global pandemic and we started talking about this before. The act of planning a trip is so beneficial to your mental health.

P: Mmm.

M: So planning future travel, boosts your mood and your mindset. It’s about having hope and something to look forward to. It increases your happiness, and it can help fill a little bit of a void.

P: I think definitely filling the void is the thing because people feel that they aren’t in control of the immediate future because everything is on hold. But in the planning of it, it can be like a bit of an adventure. It’s like, OK, so we’ve got these perimeters. Let’s make a holiday with these restrictions.

M: Yep.

P: And this idea of only travelling 200 kilometres away, but let’s do it in a dinghy!

M & P: Laugh.

P: Or on a tricycle.

M: Why not?

P: Laugh, only carrying a backpack, whilst reciting Shakespeare.

M: Laugh. If that’s your jam, go for it.

P: It’s a choose your own adventure.

M: Absolutely. Get creative and you can do it as a joint social activity, you know, let the kids decide where they want to have a dinner one night.

P: Oh, that’s dangerous, that is dangerous. Laugh!

M: And plan it together so you can share the planning of the holiday as well.

P: So it’s important. I guess that’s the other point is to involve the social group. If you’re going away with the kids, let the kids be part of that planning because that will increase their anticipation and their ownership, and they get the benefit of the planning as well.

M: Absolutely and if you’re going with friends, there’s great tools, Airbnb allows you to share, Trip adviser, a lot of apps nowadays are really just built for sharing and doing things together.

P: They are, yeah.

M: Planning together, definitely. So there’s recent research. So, The study we were talking about before about the workplace was a 2016 study. But there is a 2021 study conducted by The Institute for Applied Positives Research, which found that 97% of respondents report that having a trip planned makes them happier.

P: Mmm.

M: And I think this is about having hope right?

P: Yeah.

M: It’s about having something to look forward to and something –

P: It’s a bit of a placebo effect.

M: Umm..

P: Because you’ve got something to look forward to, so therefore you get the benefit, even if it doesn’t happen.

M: Well, no then you’d be disappointed. So don’t plan for something that – we’re not going to Italy this year like, let’s be really honest.

P: Laugh.

M: But we can plan to do something within our state and have a high level of confidence that we’ll be able to do it.

P: I guess what I’m saying is that even in the planning of it and if you get together and have a few Italian themed dinners, if something happens and you don’t get to go to Italy, you can still go ‘Ah, we’ll just go up the road to the Italian restaurant again and speak Italian to them.’

M: Laugh.

P: That’ll be enough, and that could actually, you know, you still get the placebo effect in a way.

M: Sure, of the planning?

P: Yes.

M: But then you still get the disappointment. I would argue for maybe planning future trips but not booking anything.

P: Oh, yeah.

M: And then planning trips, planning for trips that you can most likely take.

P: True, losing money would be stressful and horrible and not fun.

M: Yeah, definitely. And I think it all comes down to a great concept that I heard from Tal Ben Shahar, who’s running the Happiness Academy course that I’m currently doing. And he was saying that ‘you’re only old when you look to the past more than to the future.’

P: Ahh, I’ve heard this idea, and I totally agree.

M: Absolutely.

P: You need to have some future progression and stop thinking back on things, back on the good old days and back on when I was 23 full of vigour.

M: And there is benefit to looking back.

P: There is, yeah, there definitely is. But you’ve got to balance that. It’s going to be a balancing with what’s to come and excitement about the future as well.

M: Yep. And unfortunately, so many people just cancelled all future plans. Birthdays were cancelled, Christmas was cancelled, travel was cancelled when the pandemic hit, everything was wiped off our calendars and we had no choice but to look back and all the things we used to be able to do.

P: True.

M: And it wasn’t with just pure nostalgia. It was nostalgia with a bit of bitterness, Laugh.

P: True, laugh. [Singing] ‘Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.’

M & P: Laughter!

M: This is about balancing that. I think that’s perfect word, there Pete, balancing and giving ourselves a bit of hope for something to do in the future.

P: Mmm, I like that idea. Holiday is hope, it’s a double H.

M: Yep. Laugh, love it. Well on that note we’ll finish up.

P: Plan your next holiday and have some hope.

M: Yes, get out of here.

P: Laugh! Bye!

M: Bye.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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21 Happiness Ideas From Around the World

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We talk a lot about happiness on this site, but mostly what we’re talking about is what Western, English-speaking nations commonly understand happiness to be.

It’s also true that a lot of the research in this area and the studies I write about come from America, the U.K. and Australia. But the concept of happiness and people’s understanding of what it means to them varies greatly across different cultures and languages. As such, many of the below words do not translate into English very well. Sometimes, there is just no concept like it in English, other times, you might think it’s a simple enough translation, but there are layers of subtlety that mean so much more.

From the Danish practice of Hygge to the Japanese concept of Wabi-sabi, or the Russian zeal for Azart, how humans search for happiness and what brings them joy is clearly influenced by and reflected in their culture, environment and values.

Let’s take a look at these 21 happiness ideas from around the world and their meanings.

21 Happiness Ideas From Around the World

1. Hygge, Denmark

Hygge is all about coziness and comfort. It’s a warm fire and a good book, a games night with friends or family, a hot cup of cocoa or wearing a comfortable new jumper for the first time. It’s a subjective thing, but it’s always a feeling that warms the soul. Hygge has been a part of Danish and Norwegian culture for centuries and is a great way to make the best and reframe thinking about the best way to make it through those long, cold winters.

2. Sisu, Finland

The Finnish also have long winters and maybe that’s why they need sisu – a resilience and stoic determination in the face of adversity. Sisu is about overcoming challenges, taking action against all the odds and having grit. Sisu is something to have pride in, and is part of the Finnish national character.

3. Friluftsliv, Norway

The literal translation of Friluftsliv is “free air life,” but it means so much more than that to the people of Norway, who are an active outdoorsy group of people. To them, it means mindfully spending time in nature to become one with the natural world. Friluftsliv recognised the importance of being outdoors to our happiness, and is all about the sense of contentment, happiness and spiritual uplifting that nature provides.

4. Niksen, Netherlands

In today’s hectic world, we could all use a little bit more niksen – the art of doing nothing. This concept takes having a break to a whole new level. It’s about listening to your body and knowing when you need to recover and it’s a great idea for relieving stress. If you want to know more about the benefits of doing nothing, check out Manoush Zomorodi’s TedX talk on How boredom can lead to your most brilliant ideas.

5. Kalsarikannit, Finland

You know when you just can’t be bothered to go anywhere? Maybe you had a long week at work, or you’re just tired from overbooking yourself, well, don’t stress, instead practice a bit of kalsarikannit, and stay at home in your undies with a nice glass of shiraz. Kalsarikannit is literally translated to ‘pants drunk’ and is roughly translated to ‘drinking at home in your underwear with no intention of going out.’ Cheers to that!

6. Ohanami, Japan

Ohanami literally means “flower viewing” and it’s used to describe gathering to enjoy and appreciate cherry blossoms. In Japan, cherry blossom viewing is a centuries-old tradition that is grounded in the idea that nothing is permanent, not even beautiful flowers. This is also known as Hanami.

7. Wabi-sabi, Japan

Wabi-sabi derives from Buddhist teachings, and is another Japanese concept that centres on the idea of accepting and even celebrating imperfection, impermanence and incompleteness. It is the art of finding perfection in the imperfect. In today’s age of increasing social pressure due to pervasiveness of social media, a lot of us could use a little bit more wabi-sabi and self-compassion in our lives.

8. Shinrin-yoku, Japan

Shirin-yoku means bathing in the forest – which isn’t about actually bathing but is more about being completely surrounded and enveloped in the forest. This is about taking time to mindfully walk or sit in the forest and simply enjoy nature. You can read more in this article about why moving out of the city will make you happier.

9. Craic, Ireland

This Irish concept is all about having a good time with friends. It’s about loud conversations, joking, laughing and having fun – think of a good night at the pub. Craic has even been called an intrinsic part of the culture of sociability that distinguished the Irish workplace from those of other countries.

10. Entrückt, Germany

Being entrückt is about being lost in thought and in your own mind. It’s about forgetting everything around you and daydreaming, being absentminded or even meditative. It’s about being calm and quiet and enjoying time alone.

11. Estrenar, Spain

This is about using or wearing something for the first time. Think of the soft fluffiness of a new pair of sweatpants, or the whiteness of a new pair of socks, or the great feeling of wearing a new top on a night out with friends. Brings a smile to your face, doesn’t it?

12. Siesta, Spain

For those of us who are on the career treadmill or corporate ladder, the idea of taking a 2-hour break in the middle of the day for a siesta, or nap, may seem preposterous. But this practice has been proven to relieve stress and recharge your mind, leading to greater happiness and wellbeing. It might be time to talk to the boss.

13. Flâner, France

Flâner is to stroll or potter around. If you’re in a rush, it’s not flâner. Instead, this means to take your time leisurely walking and observing the world around you. It’s about having no purpose, and letting your feet take you where they will.

14. Lagom, Sweden

Lagom is the story of goldilocks in one word – it’s the Swedish mindset of approaching life with an “everything in moderation” mindset… in other words, not too much, not too little, but just right. There’s no English equivalent and in today’s consumerist society even the word ‘moderation’ can be seen as leaving you wanting more. Lagom is not that, it is truly the right amount, with a sprinkle of perfect, balance and simplicity in there too.

15. Meraki, Greece

Meraki is a labour of love, or the idea that you can bring others and yourself happiness by giving your undivided attention to a task, especially a creative or artistic one—like cooking. It’s about doing things with love leaving a part of you in that task.

16. Azart, Russia

The Russian word azark is all about taking life by the horns and finding passion and excitement – often from activities that would make many other cultures feel uncomfortable. Think about scary movies, or sky diving or rolling around in the snow after nice warm sauna. Azart is about exploring the zeal of life.

relaxing while watching the water

17. Keyif, Turkey

In Turkey, Keyif is all about practicing the art of quiet relaxation and living in the moment – like mindfulness. It’s about savouring the simple moments in life, spending some time alone and resetting.

18. Saudade, Brazil

Unlike many of the other happiness ideas from around the world, this concept is also a bit sad. Saudade is about a feeling of melancholy, longing and nostalgia for a happiness that once was or will never happen again. It’s a bitter-sweet memory that tugs at your heart-strings. Portuguese writer Manuel de Melo describes the concept as “a pleasure you suffer, an ailment you enjoy.”

19. Jayus, Indonesia

I love this one and I know a lot of people who embody this concept. In fact, I actually think the English translation for Jayus should be ‘dad joke.’ The actual meaning is a joke that is so unfunny, or told so badly, that you just have to laugh.

20. Ubuntu, South Africa

Ubuntu is practiced by the Bantu people across Africa. It’s a concept of common humanity and oneness. Think “I am because you are.” It acknowledges the power of togetherness and community.  During the memorial service for Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama said ubuntu described his greatest gift, “that there is a oneness to humanity; that we achieve ourselves by caring for those around us.”

21. Kafa, Bosnia

Although many people often meet for a coffee in Australia, the Bosnians have turned the concept of kafa into more of a ritual – that of regularly meeting a friend for a good long chat, over coffee. And as Cultural Atlas describes, in Bosnia, “Coffee (kafa) is usually served during a visit, usually three times. The first is the greeting coffee (dočekuša), the second is the talking coffee (razgovoruša or brbljavuša) and the final coffee is meant to signify the time when guests are expected to leave, known as ‘kandžija’ or ‘sikteruša’.”

Do you know any other happiness ideas from around the world? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Want to learn more about happiness ideas from around the world? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

Toxic Positivity (E56)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week Marie and Pete discuss Toxic Positivity, what the latest research shows, and how you can retrain your brain for happiness. 

Show notes

During the Podcast, Marie mentions research conducted in regard to toxic happiness expectations in the workplace: The Research We’ve Ignored About Happiness at Work by André Spicer and Carl Cederström. Published in Harvard Business Review.

Towards the end of the podcast Pete talks about two different ballet terms: Penché is a classical ballet term meaning “leaning.” Pirouette is a classical ballet term meaning “spin.”

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: So today we’re talking about [sweet voice] toxic positivity.

P: Laugh. I love it that you say it that way.

M: Laugh.

P: This is actually for all of the cynics, you know, in our listeners. It’s for the people that are like ‘Oh my God, it’s so hard to be happy!’

M: Or the people who don’t love Clueless.

P: I missed that reference. It’s another movie I haven’t seen.

M: Oh my goodness!

P: I know, I know.

M: Or Legally blonde?

P: Oh, laugh. Bend and snap, hello?

M: Uh huh! Exactly.

P: Laugh!

M: I’m going to channel my inner Legally blonde and not be cynical for once I think on this one.

P: You should be on this one because this is a cynical perspective.

M: Laugh.

P: So do you feel the pressure to be positive?

M: Oh, absolutely. No one wants to hear your shit.

P: Laugh.

M: They don’t, people are so busy and dealing with so much of their own stuff that I feel that you have, If you’re lucky, one or two people that you can actually honestly really say ‘no, I’m not doing well today’ to.

P: Mmm.

M: And not feel the need to just say ‘yeah, I’m fine’ or ‘yeah, I’m good’, that kind of thing in general.

P: The other flip side of that, is that there’s a pressure on people [exuberant voice] ‘to be bouncy, and to be open, and to be fabulous!’ and that’s just really hard work. So for some people who are out there, that approach of being the positive person, doing the cue cards, doing the positive affirmations in the mirror every morning and Jigging yourself up and going ‘Yeah, bam, bam, bam, I’m ready to go.’ Some people just don’t do that and it doesn’t work.

M: Well it does. If you do it right.

P: Mmm.

M: And it is not. It is not the be all and end all.

P: No.

M: And there was so much work that goes on behind it. So, I think where a lot of people are going wrong with positive affirmations and positivity is that they think that’s all you need to do to be happy, –

P: Definitely not.

M: – and it’s definitely.

P: [Singing voice] The science says no, laugh. So if we’re going to talk science, we’re going to talk about a study done in 2010, by Senay, Albarracín & Noguchi from the University of Illinois and South Misspissisi.

M: Misspissisi? Mississippi, [spelling] Miss-iss-ipp-i.

P: Laugh, Mississippi sorry. This talks about what needs to go on behind that positive psychology.

M: Yes.

P: And the cue cards and the positive affirmations, that is what they call a blanket approach. And for some of us that works, for some of us who are in reasonably good mental health, that approach works because you’re jigging yourself up and you’re reinforcing to yourself ‘I’m a good person; I am going to be this person today; I’m going to be a good money saver today.’

But for some of us, that doesn’t work because it isn’t coming from an authentic place and if positive affirmations are just reinforced by externalisation; So cue cards, doing, chanting or doing the mirror exercise. It’s not coming from a place of dedicated and deep-seated security, and therefore that actually creates more mental health issues than it solves.

M: So, I absolutely agree, because I’m playing the positive card here.

P & M: Laugh.

M: But I do, however, think that there is a whole school of thought proven scientifically researched about scanning your environment for positive things. And while I agree that you can’t lie to yourself.

P: Mmm.

M: You can’t say I’m a supermodel, I’m a supermodel, I’m a supermodel in the mirror every morning and deep down, know that you’re not and expect for you to live in this happy rose coloured glasses world.

P: Yep, no.

M: You can’t do that. However, we are programmed to look for the negative and to make sure that we notice the lion who might eat us over the pretty rainbow.

P: Yep.

M: And so, by focusing on looking out for the good things, we can recondition our minds to notice good things more. So gratitude journals, positive affirmations, all of those other things that help you to balance out what is a negative bias in our brains anyway can make you happier because you notice what you have. You become more grateful for what you do have. But again, I 100% agree with what you and then this res[earch], these researchers are saying, you can’t lie to yourself.

P: No, and I think that’s the essential argument. I agree with you wholeheartedly about what you’re saying in terms of the use of positive psychology tools and they do work. We know that they do work. We’ve talked about that at length.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: I guess what they’re talking about here is more specifically about using the concept of toxic positivity is the positivity peer pressure.

M: Yep.

P: You need to be doing this stuff to make yourself happy. But if you’re one of those people that were those positive affirmations doesn’t come from a true place. You’re actually going to do the reverse. You’re going to send yourself into a downward spiral, and it’s not gonna work.

M: Well, we had an episode a few months back on authenticity and it’s the disconnect that causes the problem right?

P: Yeah, exactly.

M: We’re seeing a lot of people in the LGBTIQ community have that disconnect, particularly as teenagers before they’ve come out.

P: Mmm.

M: And that is what causes so much pain and heartbreak and mental health issues as well, along with it.

P: Yep.

M: So absolutely, I agree with you there. The other thing that I find to be a cause of a lot of this not working is that the positive psychology movement, it’s a movement, and over the last 30 years, people have really embraced a lot of these concepts without having done masters and PhDs and full study into it and so –

P: I’m putting my hand up.

M: Laugh!

P: I’m a total embracer, I jumped in.

M: Yeah, And so what that means is for people who haven’t looked into it deeply; It’s a slogan on a T shirt or a banner on a website or a catchphrase from a celebrity and without understanding what’s behind it, it leads to the wrong behaviours.

P: Absolutely, you have to do the work.

M: And I think that is to blame.

P: You have to do the work people, we keep saying this, laugh.

M: But you’ve got to understand what the work is behind it. And so, I think we’ve got a whole lot of people who are putting a smile on their face without understanding why and who are trying to be bubbly because they want to be happy, but without putting in all the work behind that.

P: And they’re the people that we’re speaking to here, I mean, these are people that are risk of that positive peer pressure.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: It’s like ‘I have to be happy, I have to be happy, I have to put a smile on my face and just get on with life when really inside I’m dying.’

M: Yep.

P: And for those people it needs, you need to do a little bit more work. You need to do more investigation and what these researchers have come up with is that you need to be not in an inner war with your subconscious. If you’re doing the positivity and doing the exercises without understanding the real meaning behind it, what you’re training your mind to do, which is exactly what you’ve just clocked Marie, is your searching for the examples of all the times that you haven’t been bubbly.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: You haven’t been the supermodel, you haven’t been the athletics sports star.

M: You didn’t get the promotion.

P: You start training that negativity coming in.

M: You didn’t get a seat on the bus, all that stuff.

P: So how to get past that is to acknowledge and identify which thoughts are limiting and which ones are empowering and how to actually do that work to go back and find the reasons behind what is the incongruent factor, if you’re saying ‘I want to be a good money saver’ and you just keep spending money all the time, it’s understanding the reasons behind that.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So with that idea in mind, it’s about going back and seeing what is the reason behind [the behaviour]. And what the researchers say here is ‘ask a better question.’

M: It all comes down to self-awareness, you’ve got to do the work to begin with.

P: It does.

M: Don’t you?

P: Yeah.

M: That’s again why journaling is so powerful. Because sometimes you just haven’t thought to think about stuff.

P: Mmm. You haven’t stopped, quieted the mind. And you’re not allowing those thoughts to drop in and go ‘hang on, what are you? You little red devil on my shoulder? Where’s the little white one? I want the white one.’

M: Mmm hmm. ‘Why do I always say yes to my boss when he asks me to work late? But other people go home on time, why do I do that?’ And then why do I end up burned out? You know, there’s plenty and plenty of examples for people for behaviour that they may not have reflected on.

P: Yeah, and a lot of it comes under self-limiting beliefs.

M: Yes.

P: So that’s where you come back to doing some belief, work and journaling and coordinating. That is a really good way of doing that work that we keep talking about. For those who haven’t done that, it is about self-beliefs being true for yourself.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And finding the ability to achieve or to look at the thoughts that air perhaps blocks to you, achieving that goal or that desire, or that positive affirmation that you want to achieve.

M: Yep and I think once you’ve done the work to understand yourself …, and just because you understand something doesn’t mean it’s easy to fix.

P: Yeah.

M: Or going to, laugh.

P: Laugh.

M: But once you’ve done that, it all boils down to habits. And there’s a great book out at the moment called Atomic Habits, which really helps to break down how you can make these positive psychology interventions or happiness habits stick in your life because it is something that humans are really bad at doing.

P: Oh, interesting.

M: We’re really bad at starting exercise programs, diets, everything that you might want to do. If you don’t make it a habit and you don’t know how to make it a habit in your life, you’re likely to fail at it.

P: Absolutely, yeah. And the first, is it seven days or seven tries of it you have to get through to make it a habit?

M: A lot of the time, yes, but also just make it really easy. So you’re almost tripping yourself over it. Yeah, make it part of a routine and reward yourself at the end so you can’t have breakfast until you’ve done 10 sit ups. Super simple.

P: Yep.

M: Wake up in the morning you can’t have your coffee until you’ve done 10 sit ups. And a year later, you’re going to find that you’re doing 30 sit ups every morning and you’ve got abs, you know, like whatever it is.

P: That was my approach with yoga, actually, because I had a period where I didn’t do yoga. When I first came back to Sydney after London and I was finished dancing so I was like ‘Ha ha! I don’t need to do yoga anymore, I’m going to sleep in.

M: Laugh.

P: And then I was like I’m gonna jump back on the bandwagon and you know, this is tough, six am yoga, oof. And so I decided not to do a full practise. I was like I’ll just to 10 minutes.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And sure enough, after about two weeks of doing 10 minutes that turned into 20 which turned into 30 and then you’re back on the horse.

M: Yep. And if you can trick your mind into getting the reward of your morning coffee or your breakfast or whatever it is that you can look forward to, just going to the gym isn’t motivation enough for most of us. It’s something you know you should do for a lot of us. Actually, I’m going to say most, there’s definitely gym junkies, and there’s people who love their exercise. But there’s a large proportion of the population who do exercise because they should.

P: Yeah true.

M: Or who just don’t exercise.

P: Yeah, I’ll give you that.

M: Right? And so finding ways to integrate it into your life in ways that aren’t going to scare you off.

P: Mmm.

M: That a quick and easy and that you get something at the end, which you enjoy. For instance, walking on the treadmill for 20 minutes and listen to your favourite podcast.

P & M: Laughter!

P: I’ve got this image of all these people on treadmills listening to the Happiness for Cynics podcast all laughing at precisely the same time.

M: Laugh.

P: That would be fun.

M: I love it. You know reward yourself with a TV show after you’ve done whatever it is you’re trying to do.

P: Oh yeah, I agree. One thing I do want to clock, or circle back to is that ability of the question asking. So, when we have these thoughts that pop into our heads of like ‘Oh, am I eating the cookie, don’t eat the cookie!’ That’s not the best way to approach. So, if you’re trying to not eat the cookie, it’s not the statement of the self-limiting belief of ‘don’t eat the cookie. Do not, do not, do not!’ Ask the question better. Why do you want the cookie?

M: Just eat the cookie!

P: Laugh!

M: And wash it down with a martini.

P: Laugh, yeah, yeah.

M: Laugh.

P: I’m bringing it back, laugh.

M: Darn it, we’re meant to be encouraging self-control aren’t we?

P: So going back to the question, why are we eating the cookie?

M: Because it tastes so good.

P: Yeah, well that’s part of it but why does it taste so good?

M: Sugar!

P: And why do you want sugar?

M: Because sugar tastes so good.

P: Aahh.

M: This is a very circular argument.

P: But there’s a better answer there. This is the exercise. Keep asking the question until you come up with the right answer.

M: Why, why, why?

P: That’s a path to actually doing the work that we keep talking about, which can highlight some of those self-limiting beliefs and then expose you to being able to look in the mirror and go, ‘today, I’m not going to eat the cookie’, and you believe it because you know what’s behind the… You know what the reasoning behind it is.

M: Okay…

P: Laugh.

M: I like cookies though.

P: Well, you’re allowed to have cookies, it’s okay. Laugh.

M: So, toxic positivity. I think the other part of this that we touched on briefly at the beginning is our fear that others just don’t want to hear about our problems.

P: Mmm.

M: And so we have to be positive, and I think that’s a real shame. And it’s something that society is slowly opening up to and changing. So, Brené Brown does a lot of talking about vulnerability and the power of vulnerability. And there’s been a big, shift in corporate leadership communications about being honest and authentic and being a bit vulnerable, and how that bonds people and the value of that, because we all see through corporate BS.

P: Yep.

M: Right, we know when the leader hasn’t written their email, the coms team wrote it for them.

P: He he.

M: We know when the speech writer wrote this speech for the prime minister or president or whoever, and they haven’t even looked at the notes, they’re just reading it off [the screen]. We know when it’s not them right, and so that creates a barrier between people, when there is that in-authenticity.

P: Definitely.

M: And by not ever sharing that we’re feeling down or low or just not great today, that’s creating that distance between people. By never being vulnerable with your co-workers and just saying ‘I had a shit night, like I didn’t sleep well, the kids were up all night.’

P: Yep.

M: Or, you know, ‘I get migraines and I had a migraine yesterday, and I just feel like crap today.’

P: Yep.

M: Without sharing those things or you know, bigger things that can be really hard without sharing those things, we’re creating weak teams at work and loose bonds with the people that we see day in, day out, and that’s a real shame.

P: It’s that ability to not feel the pressure to be 100% happy 100% of the time.

M: Absolutely.

P: And that isn’t sustainable. As much as being 100% negative all the time is not sustainable. Neither is being 100% happy. You’ve gotta have those ebbs and flows. You’ve gotta have those ups and downs. Some of us express those a little bit more emotionally than others.

M: Laugh. A little bit more openly than others.

P: Laugh. But that’s okay. And as you said, you can choose your people. You can choose you one or two people to go, ‘you know what? The cat died last night and I’m feeling crap.’

M: Yep.

P: So just leave me in my corner for today, I’ll bounce back tomorrow.

M: Or ‘I need a day.’

P: Yep.

M: ‘I need to cancel my meetings – or my clients or whatever it is – I just can’t cope with today.’

P: Yep.

M: And I think we need to be able to say that openly and have trust that we’ll get support if we say that to our colleagues and bosses.

P: That’s very true, yeah. And that comes from the leadership as well.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And having permission.

M: And it comes from leaders who say to their teams ‘I’m taking the day and role modelling that as well.

P: Yeah. So the other thing that I think we need to talk about is the inner saboteur.

M: Ooh.

P: Your inner voice, laugh.

M: Oh, I hate my inner saboteur!

P: Laugh!

M: Fred.

P: Fred? You have a name? Ooh I like it.

M: Did you ever watch Drop Dead Fred.

P: No.

M: Oh…

P: Laugh.

M: You should.

P: Ok, laugh. Am I going to understand you better?

M: Fred was the invisible friend, laugh.

P: Oh, righto. So you’re “Fred” can be your worst enemy in terms of that toxic positivity, because he could be the one that’s actually pressuring you, to be happy all the time.

M: Mmm.

P: Put it out there, just take it off and come out and be Taylor Swift, laugh.

M: And I think there is always pressure to move on, to get through it, to suck it up.

P: Yep.

M: You know. Put your big girl panties on as well.

P: And that’s the inner voice coming out as well. That’s our self-judgement coming out and sometimes we need to let go of that and recognise when it’s… when we’re creating our own drama, when we’re creating, if you’re that creative mind or that imaginative state that could be a really negative space because you create issues and you create scenarios that have never occurred, and you start believing them. Your body starts registering them and your brain, starts making cases for them, and that could be really dangerous space to be.

So if you find yourself getting a little bit too self-judgmental, you need to shake yourself out of that habit on often that come down to physicality or going and just being distracted. We’ve talked about awe before, going for a bush walk and things like that or being in front the ocean. Take yourself out of the space where that inner saboteur has the power and try to enjoy the moment as it were, or enjoy a moment.

M: We also talked about being kind to others, but I don’t think we talk enough in our society without being kind to yourself. And compassionate with yourself.

P: And that is what the positive psychology movement is all about, isn’t it?

M: Yep.

P: There’s a lot of that research out there that says that that’s a good and beneficial thing to do.

M: And if you need to cry or you need to be in a shitty mood for an hour, a day, or a week or a year, because something that bad has happened, then you need to take the time and forgive yourself for needing the time.

P: Yep.

M: You don’t actually even need to forgive yourself. You just need to know that it’s okay to take however much time you need to move through the stages of grief or sadness or anger, or whatever it is that you need to do.

P: Definitely.

M: There’s one last study that I did want to mention, and it’s only just popped into my mind, so I’ll have to dig it out and pop it in the show notes later.

P & M: Laugh.

M: But there’s been some research done recently and, particularly in America, the push for service people to always provide service with a smile and the impact that that has on their lives outside of work.

P: Oh, yes! Oh, I like this one.

M: And pretty much if you expect your employees, for the eight hours a day that they come in and work at Walmart or Kmart or Target or wherever it is, to put a smile on their face for every single customer that work walks in the door and when they’re interacting with other workers in the store, then you are draining their emotional capital.

P: Absolutely.

M: Draining it.

P: Oh yeah.

M: And those people struggle to enjoy their lives outside of work. It actually makes them sadder.

P: Yep.

M: It impacts their mental health.

P: Oh I so believe in that that.

M: Yep.

P: And it comes out across as fake. I mean, you just come out of that experience going, ‘What was that? That was weird.’

M: Mmm hmm.

P: This poor person is probably having a terrible day. And yet they’ve got to go ‘thanks for shopping at Wal Mart’. I think that’s where it might be a little bit different culturally, Marie. You might have a better perspective on this Marie of Australia versus America. Do we have more permission to be less cheerful in Australia?

M: I think we have permission to be a bit more authentic. So we open with a smile. But it’s not over the top happy.

P: Yeah, right.

M: Yeah, either way, forcing employees for eight hours a day to be happy rather than neutral, in some instances, which is what most people tend to be. A lot of the time has negative impacts, so there’s definitely, I’m absolutely sure that there will be more research into that and looking at whether or not it’s even cruel and unusual punishment to expect people to do it, you know.

P: Definitely, oh gosh yeah. But there are ways around that. There are creative ways around that. It’s up to, again, team leaders and people in those responsible positions to shake it up and make the workplace little bit fun. I mean, one of my, one of my things I love to do at my workplace is I like pulling out a pirouette of a penché as you walk past someone in the corridor and Elisa, if you’re listening, we’ve done it before. We’ll be walking past each other in the clinic, and I’ll just grab her and twirl her and it just adds that little buoyancy hit for the day, and she’s probably going in and working with someone who’s really going through an emotional thing.

M: Mmm.

P: There’s a lot of stuff going on, every now and then everybody needs a lift.

M: Yep.

P: And if you can be that person, I encourage you. Do something crazy. Do something unexpected. Make everybody smile.

M: Have a little bit of fun or playfulness.

P: Oh, it’s so important. And if that makes you feel stupid in front of someone else, I say do it!

M: All right. On that note, we’ll wrap it up.

P: Do your penché’s people.

M & P: Laugh.

P: If you don’t know what that is, I’ll put it in the show notes. Laugh.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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Try a Little Playfulness if Your Family’s Pandemic Routine Needs a Reset

by

Heather McLaughlin, Concordia University and Bonnie Harnden, Concordia University

Many of us were hopeful that 2021 would be the start of a new beginning. However, with lockdowns and grim warnings about new strains of COVID-19, society was quickly reminded that the marathon is far from over.

As creative arts therapists working in the pandemic, we commonly hear how deeply disconnection and loneliness are affecting people. To sustain ourselves through the months ahead, we believe people need to intentionally work to find creative ways to connect more, no matter what the distance is.

We invite you to think of how to tend to your own connection needs while also thinking about those in your community. All of us will need tremendous energy for the emotional work ahead.

For those who have lost loved ones during the pandemic, there is profound grief, compounded by losses and disappointments of missed funerals or death rituals. Many are dealing with grief for missed milestones and family and community celebrations, lost opportunities, missing financial, employment or personal supports and community and personal connections. There’s also the everyday loss of grounding routines and relationships, and ongoing fear. We will all need energy for so much recovery.

Our hope is to inspire you to intentionally bring a little playfulness and creativity to help light up your connections and perhaps find ways they can be more sustaining. In turn, these tiny adjustments of intention may help preserve health.

Centering Intentions, Values

Start by clarifying what constitutes your intentions or values.

For example, just because you have a weekly call with friends or family on the calendar, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will fulfil the need for connection. Psychologist Stephen Hayes proposes clarifying your values so they can inform the actions you commit to. Setting an intention to feel connected, and grounded in personal values, may be more successful.

If the goal is to connect, but calls are leaving you cold, perhaps it’s time to switch from a video conference or a distanced walk.

As many of us have may have “Zoom fatigue,” web conferences can be transformed into a game night or a crafting party.

A playful off-screen option is a scavenger hunt. These might help with cross-generational connections or with those who have less to talk about.

Antidote to Failed Connection: Playfulness

As therapists, we witness many moments of failed connection: values collide, people’s abilities and limitations are not considered. Old hurts get activated, moments to repair are missed and bids for connection flop.

During stressful relationship moments, it’s easy to quickly climb the nervous system ladder, jumping from a state of relative calm into fight, flight or freeze, and interact with each other badly. Neuropsychiatrist Daniel Siegel calls this “flipping our lids,” and his Wheel of Awareness meditation tool can help with this.

Instead of “flipping our lids,” we can use playfulness.

One day when Bonnie’s son was three, she to had to rush him to daycare. After packing him into his jacket and adjusting the car seat, she reached back to pick him up and found him in that limp posture of protest small children take when they don’t want to do something.

Rather than just stuffing him into the car, she relied on a helpful parenting approach of empathizing with him first: “You were happy playing with your toys. You’re sad we have to go.” Then, as she was newly training as a play therapist and learning about how parents can connect with their children’s feelings and help coach their children through difficult emotions, she had an idea: her son was obsessed with giant machines so she decided to become a backhoe loader. Her arms became shovels and she loaded him into the car while he laughed with joy.

Grumpy Pandemic Walks

Moments of playful connection like this can invite feelings of gratitude, which in turn have so many positive benefits in relationships. It can really take an extra effort to find a playful impulse, as the fear and constrictions are wearing.

Heather had found her necessary daily walks becoming a chore, as she lives in a densely populated neighbourhood where distancing is a sport. After noticing she and her son were getting grumpy on these walks, she set an intention to tune their attention to the little bits of neighbourhood beauty and magic: a tiny painted mouse door, little free libraries and a giant snow dragon!

In many ways, people’s social capital is being depleted as collective fatigue of the pandemic wears on many people’s moods and social graces. At the same time, these little artifacts are examples of ways people creatively show generosity and ways of connecting.

It’s not all About Self-care

While we recommend ways to bring playfulness, humour, fondness, flexibility and creativity into the mix, we also acknowledge that accessing these may be hard. Some self-compassion and self-care may be needed first.

Reflecting on values and intention may help you consider what you need for self-care. Finding resources like guided meditations and creative activities can help.

We recognize the notion of self-care can require resources that aren’t distributed equally in society or can obscure the social or political roots of marginalization that can impact well-being. Self-care has also been commercialized into a massive industry that can perpetuate feelings of not being or having enough.

And marginalized groups have been hardest hit by the mental health impacts of the pandemic.

The word compassion, on the other hand, has a root meaning “to suffer together.” Is it possible to allow both the helpful and limited aspects of notions of self-care, and a sense of compassion or empathy for suffering, to shape responses? All of us might resolve to make extra efforts to invite, connect and to offer patience and forgiveness for imperfect moments.

We are all going to need some extra kindness on this road ahead, so hopefully a little fun can help smooth the path!

Heather McLaughlin, Lecturer, Creative Arts Therapies Department, Concordia University and Bonnie Harnden, Professor, Creative Arts Therapies Department, Concordia University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

The Conversation

Check out our related podcast: Why you Need to Play More (E39)

Optimism Lessons From Helen Keller (E55)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week Marie surprises Pete with a discussion about optimism and lessons about happiness that we could all learn from Helen Keller. 

Transcript

Show notes:

The Centre for Optimism – https://www.centreforoptimism.com/

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things, I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: All right, Pete. So today, I’m springing a topic on you.

P: Oh, I love when you do this.

M: Laugh.

P: Totally not prepared. I am an open slate for your musings.

M: Laugh. So we’re gonna have a chat. So I have a blog and we have this podcast and we write about happiness and we write specifically for cynics like I was.

P: Laugh.

M: And one of the things that there is a lot of research on, but the cynic tends to find the hardest wrap their head around, is this idea of positive thinking and how that can actually turn around your levels of happiness and your engagement with life.

P: Yes. Mmm, right.

M: It’s a real tough one for a lot of people to wrap their heads around.

P: It wasn’t for me, again straight in there.

M: Yeah.

P: Yeah.

M: You were not our primary audience.

P: No.

M: So.

P: No, no, definitely. So it will be interesting to see.

M: Laugh. So, I have also recently been reading Optimism by Helen Keller, and it blows my mind that someone who had so much stacked against her could be have such a positive outlook on life. And it makes me think about a lot of people who have less stacked against them and who have more of a negative outlook on life, more pessimism in their life.

P: Yep

M: And they look at what they’re achieving or what they’re not one of the point and what Helen Keller was able to achieve in her life. And I know it’s not all about success for people, it’s not all about achieving.

P: Yeah.

M: But I would argue, based on the way that Helen Keller writes in this, that she, she loved her life. She was happy.

P: She chose to love it.

M: Absolutely.

P: Chose to create joy.

M: So if you don’t know who Helen Keller is; Helen Keller became blind when she was 19 months old, and at that time kids were pretty much given up on. So she was blind and deaf. So she really was living in her own world. And for quite a long time she was not taught, sign language or how to form thoughts.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And she was living in a really, very dark place. And it wasn’t until Helen’s mother read that a deaf-blind person had been educated, that her mom decided to explore that for her. And Helen Keller was the first blind and deaf person to earn a bachelor of arts degree, and she went on to become one of us celebrated women of the 20th century. And she’s written this book called Optimism, and it is just such an inspiration.

P: Oh, wow. I didn’t know that she’d written.

M: Yeah, absolutely. And I think if someone can be shut off from hearing and seeing both and find joy in life, what are the rest of us doing?

P: Laugh! Well, it’s about creating off the opportunity you have. So if you’ve been denied certain aspects, and for me, this kicks into the Buddhist principle of not coveting what you don’t have.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: It’s like you’ve been given this and so that is what you have. These are the tools with us you have to work with. So that is how you will create. So, you get a different tool box to me and this whole concept of, ‘but I want what she’s got’ that doesn’t factor into it. It’s like ‘no, look to your toolbox, to your strengths.’ And you look at what you have in your makeup that can create goodness or opportunity or happiness, success, whatever it is that you’re measuring.

M: Yeah, and there’s two things in there that we’ve talked about before, which is comparisons.

P: Mmm.

M: Which we know is so detrimental to our happiness, comparing what you have to others.

P: Yeah, definitely.

M: They’ve chosen different paths, they’ve had their own struggles and so comparing to others is never, ever a path to happiness.

P: Yep, definitely not.

M: And then the second one is being grateful for what you do have, when you start to flip your thinking, from ‘what don’t I have?’ to ‘what do I have?’

P: Mmm.

M: It’s so powerful.

P: And that’s the power of people like Helen, who are optimists. They see the advantage in every opportunity, like ‘I don’t have that, but I’ve got this!’

M: Mmm hmm.

P: I can bring this to the table, laugh.

M: Yep, and these are my strengths. Even though I’ve got a buttload of weaknesses over there, I’m going to use my strengths, to find happiness in life and to find things that bring me joy and pleasure. And for Helen, a lot of that was learning and writing.

P: Mmm.

M: She did a lot of writing in her life.

P: And it was her mother that was really the initiator of the education. She was home schooled?

M: She was taught one on one. So, her mother went out and I think found someone to teach her sign language. And they did things like grab her hand and let it run under water and then put her hand into the symbol for water so that she could then use that symbol when she wanted to drink water.

P: Gotcha, yeah.

M: So, it was before that even understanding the concept of water would have been difficult when you can’t see it or hear it, right? So she was just in a complete lightless room with no sound for years of her life.

P: Mmm.

M: And still was actually, after that, it’s just that she could form thoughts.

P: Mmm mm.

M: And that’s really what opened her mind to so much more. But she would have along the way, as she was educated, become very aware that she was different from others, I’m sure.

P: Yeah, and you know at a detriment as well, ‘I don’t have these basic abilities that so many other people have.

M: Yep.

P: It’s always the way when you read these great stories of people that have overcome adversity and great adversity to come out the other side.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And it’s not that we don’t begrudge them their success or anything, but it is inspiring to see someone conquer their ahh, not their foibles, their… The things that they don’t have, laugh.

M: Their weaknesses.

P: Yeah

M: I’m not even going to call them anything more than a weakness because everyone has things that they’re good at and bad at. But definitely, I think there’s also something in there about overcoming trauma and real… bad, bad things that hurt people.

P: Laugh! So how does one maintain optimism in the face of adversity?

M: Well, I think that to start, to start with, it’s gratitude, definitely. You know, we’ve mentioned quite a few times just getting into the practise off being grateful. It is best if you can write it down in a journal. So spend just five minutes, less than five minutes every evening writing down what went well and retraining your brain for the positives.

P: Training your brain to identify that. Yes. It’s a winner.

M: Yeah, absolutely. And if you’re a sceptic out there and don’t believe that’s going to make any difference, then I challenge you to do it for a month and write to me.

P: Laugh! You’re going to get these ugly emails.

M: Laugh.

P: People with folded arms, ‘I don’t feel any different!’

M & P: Laughter!

M: I challenge you, I really do, write to me. I don’t know what I’m going to do once you write to me…

P: Laugh!

M: But it has been proven again and again and again. And person-  I can speak from experience personally, it’s made such a difference to me and my relationship with my husband as well, because we do it together.

P: Yeah, interesting.

M: Yep.

P: I think the other thing with optimism is that – People talk about luck people talk about are they are so lucky they get these opportunities and so forth? I don’t think I actually believe in luck. I think that part of optimism is looking for opportunity but being prepared for it when it comes along.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, you work on hard on things that you try to do and one of those is training your brain to be grateful and gracious and be mindful so that when an opportunity just pokes its little head up from around the corner, it doesn’t come screaming at you like a freight train just goes [whispers] ‘Hello, I’m over here in the corner. Look at me.’ Laugh.

M: Your luck is kind of creepy.

P: Laugh! But it’s being able to go ‘Ah, there’s opportunity, come over here you and let’s have a look at what you’ve got.’

M: Or I’m not so cynical to that opportunity that I’m unwilling to take a look.

P: Yes, exactly. It’s someone willing to open that door and go in.

M: And there’s a great book called The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor and he talks about how happy people are more successful. And the irony is that people who want success and get on that hedonic treadmill and chase the straight A’s and the career progression and the money etcetera.

P: Laugh.

M: If they’re putting that success first above their happiness, then they’re actually gonna be less successful because the happier you are, the more people want to be around you. The more extroverted and friendly and likeable you are the more those moments of luck or opportunity open up to you in your career and in picking a life partner and in social circles and friends, all of those things open up to you, the happier you are.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And it’s a bit of a shame that it’s a bit of a catch 22 as well, because a lot of people are not happy because they’re lonely or because they don’t have the success.

P: Yeah.

M: And, you know, it’s hard to then tell people to think positive thoughts and be optimistic if they don’t have the things.

P: […] ‘Slap, snap out of it!’ Literally, it’s so good! It’s like come on, wake up!

M: So, if you find that you’re just rolling your eyes going ‘I work really hard at work, I’ve tried to make friends in this new city, I’ve tried to find a husband or a wife or a boyfriend or girlfriend and it’s just not working for me and all this is BS.

P: Mmm.

M: If that’s sort of where you are in life, then I’d say some really great things.

Gratefulness. Firstly, start retraining your mind to stop looking at everything is bad and a failure and negative.

P: Yes.

M: Two, to go do some volunteering.

P: Yep. Great idea.

M: Yep. Firstly, it starts to build social bonds. You don’t necessarily find your significant other by doing this or your best buddy, but you will form strong friendships. It gets you out and out of the house as well and often get you a little bit of exercise, depending on what you’re doing because you have to go somewhere. It’s just such a tick. So many boxes and his just a really good way to start getting you thinking about happiness as a by product rather than success as the only thing that matters.

P: True, yep.

It’s saying yes! Challenge yourself to say yes for a week.

M: Mmm.

P: I like that one. And I think that that is kind of where you’ve gotten with Helen, and her work is ‘Yes, I could do this, yes, I can do that.’

M: Yeah.

P: Yes, I have the opportunity. If you say yes more often, then all of a sudden, more yes’s start to come.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: It’s probably because then you might find your social calendar a little bit full because you keep saying yes to everything.

M: Laugh.

P: But it’s a roundabout way because in that saying yes, you might meet someone else that invites you somewhere else. And that can be how you meet your lifelong partner or so forth. So it has a funny way of shifting the rule book if you like.

M: Yep.

P: By just that one change of word, stop saying no, say yes and commit.

M: So I am going to read a small thing from a small excerpt from Optimism by Helen Keller and tell me you’re not inspired, okay:

It is curious to observe what different ideals of happiness people cherish, and in what singular places they look for this well-spring of their life. Many look for it in the hoarding of riches, some in the pride of power, and others in the achievements of art and literature; a few seek it in the exploration of their own minds, or in the search for knowledge.

Most people measure their happiness in terms of physical pleasure and material possession. Could they win some visible goal which they have set on the horizon, how happy they would be! Lacking this gift or that circumstance, they would be miserable. If happiness is to be so measured, I who cannot hear or see have every reason to sit in a corner with folded hands and weep. If I am happy in spite of my deprivations, if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith, so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life, —if, in short, I am an optimist, my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.  As sinners stand up in meeting and testify to the goodness of God, so one who is called afflicted may rise up in gladness of conviction and testify to the goodness of life.

Once I knew the depth where no hope was, and darkness lay on the face of all things. Then love came and set my soul free.

M: I’ll stop there, I could keep going.

P: Laugh.

M Because she writes so beautifully as well, but for someone who has been through things that you and I just couldn’t even imagine.

P: No, of course not.

M: It almost makes you feel guilty for feeling so well -laugh.

P: Well, yeah. It’s a good emotional level. It reminds me, there was… I can’t remember it, a philosopher, but it’s basically ‘a miserable being, must find a more miserable being then he is happy.’

M: Mmm. Actually, in having been through mental health issues, I think I definitely when I was depressed, gravitated towards other depressed people because it’s hard to be around people who are happy when you don’t feel happy.

P: Yeah, definitely. Because then you do feel like you’re losing and you’re not, not winning.

M: Well, no, it’s just that you’re faking it the whole time. It’s exhausting. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So, look, I think optimism is something you’ve got to learn and excise like going to the gym.

P & M: Laugh.

P: It’s a training exercise.

M: Absolutely.

P: Keep at it daily, consistency is key.

M: It is. It is. And without it, you’re really doing yourself a bit of a disservice. If succeeding in life is something that motivates you, this’s that extra study or that extra work that you have to put in to do that.

So what makes you optimistic, Pete?

P: Oohh! Small pleasures. I think if I was to be challenged, if I’ve had a challenging week and I’ve had some difficult things going on, I think investing in small pleasures is my way out of it. So when things were going south there for a while, with work and with business, I went into the kitchen. And I just went right for the next 30 minutes. I’m not going to think about any of that. I’m just going to focus on cooking myself a meal. Domesticity is for me, clean something, laugh! Pick a room, do it over shifting the furniture.

M: Hmm.

P: That’s a really good one. For me. It’s distraction, but its creative distraction on it taps into that nothingness and that idleness, which is ah well, spring for creative thought and sometimes creative solutions. Problem solving.

M: I also like that, if you’re not feeling optimistic, what you’re doing actually is controlling what you can control.

P: Yes.

M: So you can control the layout of your lounge room or what you cook, mostly.

P: Yes.

M: Depending on your cooking skills.

P & M: Laughter.

M: You can mostly control what you’re doing in the kitchen. So that gives you a sense of control around that.

P: Yes, mmm.

M: Yep, definitely. For me I have to say what makes me most optimistic is a challenge.

P: Ohh.

M: lt gets me fighting.

P: Yeah, righto. Yep.

M: So, I’m generally quite optimistic. I’m more of a glass half full person, but throw challenge my way and I see it as a challenge that I will overcome and I’ll fight tooth and nail to overcome.

P: Yeah, alright.

M: If needed. So, once I’ve set my mind to it.

P: Once you’ve taken, accepted the challenge.

M: Exactly then I’m all in, all in!

P: Laugh!

M: And Francis, my husband, who will attest it’s the most infuriating thing, we could be lost in the middle of nowhere, I’m like, ‘Nope, this is it. We are going to make it home by dinner, you better believe it.

P: Laugh!

M: We don’t need a map. I don’t care that we have no reception.

P: Laugh.

M: We are going! So, the more of a challenge that is presented, the more I dig my heels in and the more I probably have poorly placed ideas off success. But so far, they’ve all lead me to the right place. Mostly I think.

P: Yeah, I think you’re in the right place.

M: Definitely.

P & M: Laughter!

M: All righty. Well, this is a pretty short one today, but I did just love that exert and the reading from Helen Keller. So I just want to talk about optimism today. And there is a great organisation [The Centre for Optimism] that I think is headquartered out of WA. That focuses on optimism, and I’ll pop it in the show notes as well. But there is so much again research and study on the topic of optimism and what a big difference it can make your life.

P: Mmm. Maybe our listeners could do that for a five-day trial. Try being try being optimistic, and l mean in all aspects.

M: I like your ‘yes’ challenge.

P: When you catch yourself being the negative nelly. Good old negative nelly.

M & P: Laugh!

P: Get some reading, pick up this book and try one action that challenges that negativity and turns it into an optimistic situation.

M: Yep. All right, on that note.

P: Good-luck.

M: Good bye.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

Please note that I get a small commission if you buy something from my site. Your support helps to keep this site going, at no additional cost to you. Thanks!

Working from Home? Here are 8 Ways to Help You Start Your Day Better

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Are you looking for ways to have a better day?

Due to COVID-19, many people are now working remotely. Rather than commuting to the office or our workplace, we’re rolling out of bed, grabbing a bite to eat while we turn on our computers and just rolling into another workday, because, what else is there to do…?

At some point, our rumbling tummies might signal lunch time, or we might sprint to the kitchen between more meetings, either way, we often find ourselves sitting at that same computer over lunch.

Then as the day winds down, we might turn on the lights, and finish up just another email, and then one more. We don’t have a commute after all, and it’s not like we’ve got somewhere to go in the evenings. And so, for many of us, one day bleeds into the next and before you know it, it’s February 2021, not February 2020.

But what if you’re sick of that? What if ‘meh’ isn’t how you want to feel all the time? What if you want more from life, even in a global pandemic? The good news is that it’s possible to find joy and inspiration even if you’re stuck at home, day after day. Here’s how to build better resilience and have a better day. 

1. Focus on New Rituals 

A typical morning routine and commute to work is filled with ritualistic tasks – such as making your morning coffee, getting yourself ready and dressed, and listening to your favourite podcast on the bus.

For people who are now working solely from home, a lot of these rituals have been cast aside… leaving many people feeling completely untethered, and a bit lost. Even though it’s kinda cool to be able to wear stretchy pants every day of the week, it is also important to keep some habits consistent in your day-to-day life. There’s a reason so many successful people have morning rituals (see here, here, here, here and here… just for some inspiration). Good morning rituals increase your productivity and happiness levels and keep your body and mind in shape.   

2. Get Dressed for the Virtual Office 

I know, I know… what about the stretchy pants!? Well, yes, that’s going to be a sacrifice, but putting in a little bit of effort into your appearance can have a great impact on your self-esteem and boost your mood for the day. Not quite ready to ditch the lycra? Try pampering yourself in the shower instead, with a scented body scrub or deep condition of your hair.

3. Add Some Movement to Your Morning Routine 

Adding a little bit of movement to your routine is a simple way to have an overall better day. It doesn’t have to be anything monumental – it can be as simple as doing a 10 sit-ups and push-ups, a 15-minute yoga routine or a walk around the block – never underestimate the power of a walk. Even if it’s just a stroll around the block, going for a walk will lead to a better day. The combination of fresh air, sun and different scenery is perfect to help start your day better. Whatever you choose, it will help your body feel more alive, awake, and happy.

4. Make Morning Time About You 

Months into the coronavirus pandemic, COVID-19 continues to take its toll on populations, economies, and personal mental wellbeing, according to Tech Republic. Amid a modern plague and lockdown restrictions, prioritising your mental health every morning before work could be particularly beneficial. If you’re experiencing mild depression or low moods, introducing a daily practice of mindfulness or meditation can help to boost your resilience.

5. For a Better Day, Create a Workspace for Yourself 

One of the biggest challenges of working from home is all of the distractions that come along with it: kids, pets, roommates and more. That’s why it’s important to have a dedicated workspace for yourself (if possible). This will allow you to have a better day without the outside distractions around you. A separate office in your house is of course perfect. If that’s not possible, use a desk or table in a quiet area (again, if possible). But, if these things are impossible to do at your home, try investing in a good pair of noise cancelling headphone or disposable earplugs. Another way to brighten your day is to make sure your space is pleasing to you. Our homes shape how we feel about our day, ourselves and our lives more broadly. They are also closely tied to how happy we are overall in our lives. From pops of colour to bringing in a pot plant, it’s important to make your home happy.

6. Schedule Work Time 

Justin Bariso from Inc.com says one of the best things about working from home is the control it gives you over your own schedule. But, without set log-on and log-off times, it’s all too easy to spend too much time at your computer (answering ‘just one more’ email again and again). So, go ahead and block out time in your calendar for other activities you need to prioritise. Whether it’s planning to cook pancakes with the kids, or making sure you get some exercise, ensure you block out time for other activities so that you actually do leave the “office.”

7. Take Proper Breaks

Individuals differ on what types of breaks work for their productivity. Across the board though, taking consistent breaks throughout the day will make for a better day overall. Many studies have shown that prolonged sitting is the new smoking. Yet despite it being really bad for our health, so many of us don’t even take lunch breaks!

Both your body and your mind need regular breaks to perform at their peak. At a minimum, keeping your body nourished and fuelled throughout the day will increase productivity. Plus having smaller meals more regularly helps to keep your body energy consistent and stop spikes and drops in blood sugar – which can lead to low moods, low energy levels and overeating in the evenings.

Related: Podcast – Why You Need to Stop Skipping Your Lunch Break (E24)

8. Practice gratitude

Practicing gratitude is proven to make people happier and less stressed. It leads to higher overall wellbeing and satisfaction with your life and social relationships. Writing about what you’re grateful for is key. Research suggests translating thoughts into concrete language makes us more aware of them, deepening their emotional impact. Two or three times per week is enough. It’s useful to reflect on smaller, more frequent things—such as a modest bit of help from a friend or colleague, or to name three things that went well yesterday.

Although these unprecedented times have led to odd work environments, these activities can lead to a better day as you work from home. You still might not be able to go into the office but having solid morning routines can make your days more productive and happier as you do your work. So, follow these simple steps. Maybe one day you’ll find that you don’t want to go back to the office.

Are You Getting Enough Sleep? (E54)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about how sleep affects your health and happiness. So, are you getting enough sleep?

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

P: Oh… We’re on? [Silly voice] Are we good to go? He he. Am I on? Hello?

M & P: Laughter.

M: You are on.

P: I shouldn’t be on, we should be sleeping. We need more sleep.

M: We do need more sleep.

P: Apparently we’re not sleeping enough.

M: Actually, I’m really good at sleep.

P: Laugh.

M: Ask anybody.

P: Me too. I don’t sleep [the same as] with everyone’s sleep patterns, but I like my sleep.

M: I love my sleep.

P: Laugh.

M: And I protect it and guard it. Obviously this is the one thing I’m not failing at in my life.

P: Laugh. Exhibit.

M: Absolutely. So why do we need more sleep, Pete?

P: Our sleep is so good for us. There’s so much that sleep does for us. It’s basically influences our physical and mental capacity and every aspect of our life. So if you’re not getting sleep, things don’t happen! Laugh.

M: Absolutely. And we’re increasingly not getting enough sleep.

P: We are, in the 1940’s, eight hours of sleep was the normal arrangement of sleep, and we were pretty good at getting that amount of sleep. That was the average amount that most Americans and Australians were getting. But in the contemporary 21st century, we’re getting less and less.

In 2016, 30% of U.S. citizens were not getting seven hours of sleep. And in Australia, according to a health line survey conducted in March 2019 32% of Australians are also not getting seven hours of sleep. So we’re losing, at least one hour there.

M: And there’s been over the last 10/20 years a whole lot of books by quacks, complete quacks that say you can operate on four hours or five hours a night.

P: No. It’s bullshit.

M: It is.

P: Do not believe it people. Laugh.

M: Just like the dieting fads, these sleep fads are really harmful for you.

P: Yep, they are.

M: And not only that, yet again, you will die!

P: Yeah, laugh. Pretty much and it won’t be pretty. There’s a, there’s a direct link between cardiovascular health and sleep, diabetes, pretension, asthma, flues and colds, cancers, heart attacks.

M: Heart attacks in women in particular and more weight issues, which then leads to diabetes.

P: That’s a pre morbidity indicator.

M: Yeah, absolutely. You get more cravings of sugars and fats because your energy levels drop if you’re not getting enough sleep. So what does your body do when it’s low on energy?

P: Go get more fuel.

M: Exactly, it craves all those bad foods.

M: Yes.

P: The sugars.

M: So if you are obese. One of the first things you should be looking at if you’re hoping to lose weight is your sleep.

P: Mmm. Make sure you get enough sleep.

M: Yep.

P: And that means eight hours, not seven.

M: For adults.

P: Yes.

M: And it is more for teenagers and more for children and even more for babies. And here’s the really scary thing, we’re not even letting our infants get the recommended amount of sleep a lot of the time.

P: Oh really?

M: Yes.

P: Oh, Ok.

M: So you would never, never, if you were told how much sleep your baby should get, want to deprive that child of sleep.

P: Very true.

M: Why do you do it to yourself? This is yet another example of where we’re so much harder on ourselves than we are on other people.

P: Yes.

M: You’d never deny someone else they’re asleep that they say they need.

P: No.

M: Then we do it to ourselves all the time.

P: And another myth about sleeping is, it’s not a bank.

M: Yeah.

P If you miss out on sleep. You can’t make it up by having a big sleep. That doesn’t work that way.

M: No, not at all.

P: So that myth debunked, laugh!

M: It’s a debunking episode today isn’t it?

P: Laugh.

M: The other thing is, it makes you look old. It’s like smoking or getting out in the sun. So, you know, you get the bags under your eyes it’s really bad for your skin.

P: Your cells don’t regenerate as much.

M: Yep.

P: Not getting enough sleep has a huge effect on our cellular damage and our organs. The ability for our organs to regenerate.

Dr. Pam Taub of the UC San Diego School of Medicine talks a lot about this. She’s been doing a lot of work with firefighters and people on shift work and working around why they are so prone to cardiovascular disease and cancer due to the disruption of their circadian rhythms and the interruption of natural sleeping patterns.

M: So moving toward 24/7 world is going to kill us.

P: And that’s one of things that has killed us, and that’s one of the big shifting factors is in the post industrialised era we have more ready access to food, and we are eating much longer during the day. Our ancestors used to eat when the sun was up. We’re now eating well into the evening and we’re eating first thing when we get up, we get up at six, we get a coffee, we grab some breakfast and then we go to the gym and then we’ll go to the work and we’ll have something at 11 o’clock so we’re eating for longer.

We’re not getting that downtime of 10 hours where we’re not putting food in our stomachs. That’s upsetting our circadian rhythms. And that, in turn, upsets our sleep patterns.

M: Mmm.

P: It’s one of the big indicators that I found in some of the reading that I’ve done and the other, the other issue that comes around with that is our access to light.

M: Yes.

P: And the fact that there’s light pollution. Professor Ian Hickey of the University of Sydney is a big critic of light pollution and its links to bipolar and mood disorders.

M: Interesting.

P: And he talks [about] cognitive disorders being much larger amongst the teenage population because of our addiction to devices. Kids are going to their rooms and they have their iPad and they have their phone and they’re staying up until two o’clock in the morning on Facebook, watching YouTube and things like that. That’s having a major issue and damaging effect to our brain retention and mood cognition. And he says that’s a big one for getting rid of the issues that make us not get enough sleep.

M: I have to say it is one of our ongoing marital arguments.

P: Aaahh.

M: That Francis and I have.

P: Laugh! I’m going to go out on a limb here, are you the one on the devices or is Francis?

M: No, no, no. Not devices, light. In the bedroom.

P: Oh, yes. Right.

M: So he wants absolute pitch black or he says he can’t sleep, whereas I want to wake naturally with light rather than in a pitch black room and I can’t tell whether it’s eight AM or two AM and wake to a blaring alarm in a pitch black room.

P: Yes.

M: That to me just gets me up and in the wrong frame of mind and, and often times waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle rather than coming out of a sleep cycle and waking naturally.

P: Yeah.

M: So there’s no, there’s no solution, for the two of us, right?

P: I’m on your bank there Marie, because the fact that sunlight coming in stimulates our body into melanin production and all those, those responses that need to happen it’s a, I’m a big one for waking up with the sunshine.

M: Yes. So I think for the rest of my life that I live with Francis, for better or worse, we will be arguing over how much light is in our room when we go to sleep in the evenings.

P: Laugh. Well, how much does light affect us? You’ve referenced a study in Germany here.

M: Oh, I love this study. I love all studies that I come across!

P: Laugh!

M: There’s something fascinating to me about studies in psychology. Most of them, some of them are just dry as anything and so boring.

P: Yeah, laugh.

M: But so many of them are just super cool.

P: Where do these people come up with these ideas?

M: I know, they’re great!

P: Laugh.

M: And another area that you have to look into if you find this stuff as fascinating as me is behavioural economics because that is some really trippy stuff.

P: Wow, Okay.

M: Where you think that people would do… So It’s stuff like you put a marshmallow in front of a kid and you say, “if you wait five minutes and don’t eat it I’ll give you another one.”

P: Laugh.

M: And then walk away. And a lot of kids will just go ‘meh’ and eat the marshmallow when if they’d only waited five minutes they could have had two.

P: Two!

M: But that’s not how human behaviour works, right?

P: Laugh!

M: That’s the really simple behavioural economics, kind of.

P: In a nut shell.

M: Yep.

P: It’s a marshmallow.

M & P: Laughter.

M: But we do some really whack things, humans, that just go against our self-interest –

P: Laugh!

M: – all the time! Anyway.

P: Like not getting enough sleep, laugh.

M: Yep. Yes, laugh, back to what we were talking about.

P: Laugh. Reverse! Come on, reel it in!

M & P: Laughter!

M: So this study in the late sixties and early seventies in Germany, where they put a bunch of people into a bunker and they had no idea of the time. So, there was no natural light, no radios, no TVs, no clocks, nothing for weeks.

P: For weeks!?

M: For weeks!

P: Oh my god, those poor people.

M: And they watched. I think they just found a bunch of students, to be honest. They were happy to do some quiet study, laugh.

P: And get paid for you it.

M: And get paid, yeah. Which is, you know, pretty much every study is just students.

P & M: Laughter!

P: We know one of those, laugh.

M: Poor students.

P: Laugh, that’s why she can come to dinner every now and then.

M & P: Laughter.

M: So they then watched all of these people and saw how their bodies realigned to some kind of rhythm. And they did.

P: Mmm.

M: They reverted to their natural rhythm, so free from any external indicators of what they should be doing, their bodies went back to a natural rhythm of wakefulness and sleep.

P: Mmm.

M: Now there were, just as a side note, a few crazies out there who went to a 48 hour rhythm with their awake hours.

P: Oh, wow.

M: So this isn’t when we talk about “normal” I’ve got a quotes going for people at home.

P: Laugh.

M: And when we talk about “normal”, there are always exceptions. And there were in this study, some exceptions of people who went to a 48 hour body clock, and that was normal for them.

P: So did that mean that they were sleeping for longer periods and staying awake for longer periods?

M: Yes.

P: But their average amount of sleep across seven days would be the same as someone on a 24 hour cycle?

M: I didn’t look that closely, laugh.

P: Maybe you should see?

M: Ah, look at our show notes, I’ll see if I can find that, laugh. [Please see full study on sleep cycles here.]

P: All the reading of the research that I have done says that that would be the case, even though sleeping is not a bank. Like you can’t have one big, long sleep and make up your sleep. But you do need regular intervals of sleep/ wakefulness to keep those circadian rhythms happening.

M: And to do things like commit things to memory, long term memory.

P: Yes.

M: It’s so critical for making those connections and banking all of your data the end of the day.

P: Yeah.

M: I don’t think that, again I’ll have to look into it, but I highly doubt people are awake for 24 hours and then sleeping for a full 24 hours.

P: Yeah.

M: I’d say they’re probably at 36 of awake and then a good 12 hours sleep or something.

P: That would be interesting.

M: Or they may have been having naps throughout that time.

P: Ah, so does napping work?

M: Well, according to science, it does.

P: Okay.

M: Yep, but anyway, most people in the bunker study, the bunker sleep study, reverted to a 25 hour body clock.

P: Interesting.

M: So we’re an hour out from the day.

P: Mmm.

M: And I find that a little bit interesting. So when we’re out not in bunkers, laugh.

P: Laugh!

M: And have access to daylight to guide our activities. We, we go and follow and force our bodies to follow a 24 hour clock, generally with some small exceptions when we party too much at university and things like that.

P: Laugh.

M: But we force up what is into a 24 hour cycle. And that might actually be, not great for anyone, either.

P: I’m wondering if whether the weather, seasons, make a difference as well?

M: Mmm.

P: We tend sleep more during winter because it is darker.

M: Earlier, yep.

P: Whereas in summer, we’re out and we can’t sleep because it’s hot sometimes and the sun is up a lot longer, so again, that might be the 25 hour rhythm.

M: Well, remember when we were in Sweden?

P: Yeah, that was weird way absolutely.

M: And we came out of the restaurant and it was 11 o’clock at night and it was still light.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Yeah, and that really messed with us for a while. We were all so jet lagged, I would say.

P: Laugh. Well, it’s interesting you touched on the types of sleep because Dr Laura Jacobson, who’s the head of the Sleep and Cognition Laboratory of the Florey Institute of Neuroscience and Mental Health, that’s a mouthful, –

M: Laugh.

P: – in Melbourne in Australia, she says that getting quality of sleep is important. Everyone talks about REM sleep and that REM sleep is so important for what we need.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: It is important for our invention and our problem-solving capability. I think it was Isaac Newton who said that his theories came to him in a dream. Composers talk about it all the time, ‘oh the melody came to me in a vision when I was asleep.’ And that’s because REM sleep accesses those inventive areas of our brain.

M: It makes, it allows you to make the connections between the different parts of your brain, and that is where you get true creativity. So, it’s when the math part of your brain talks to the psychology part of your brain, and you’d never put those two together. And that’s why some of the greatest inventions were from people who had broad education and understood a little bit about everything.

P: Yeah, ‘cause they could link things together.

M: They could make those links, and they guaranteed, would not have made those links without the freedom, free of devices and free of people to let their minds wander and make connections, but also without some really good sleep.

P: Yep, who was the apple on the head dude?

M: Newton.

P: Newton, him, Yeah!

M: Laugh.

P: Sitting under a tree, apple hits him on the head. ‘Ah, I’ve come up with the theory of…

M: Relativity.

P: I was thinking that.

M: No, gravity.

P: Right, relativity was Einstein. Oh, we’re going all over the place here, I need more sleep! Laugh!

M: Gravity.

P & M: Laugh!

P: But, getting back to Dr Jacobson, she also talks about the importance of non-REM sleep and that we equally need that because that’s good for our learning and our memory retention and organising our memories into long term memory and short term memory. So, which would explain why, if you’re not getting quality sleep, it’s constantly being broken, and you’re not getting that natural swing between REM and non-REM sleep. You’re befuddled the next day, you can’t recall things, you can’t remember what the article said that you were reading 5 minutes ago.

M: What the thing was?

P: The theory of relativity versus gravity?

M & P: Laugh!

M: You know that thing, dooby whacker.

P: Laugh. So students who are pulling all-nighters before exams. You’re doing yourself a disservice?

M: Well, it is important, you know, to say that you can sustain it for short amounts of time. So if you are pulling an all-nighter before an exam – Oh, sorry. If you’re pulling an all-nighter to get a paper in.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Then you can do that and not see the decline straight away. But the next day, after you’ve handed your paper in, you know, you’re going to feel it, right?

P: Yeah, you will feel it.

M: You’ll feel it.

P: This is what I’m finding with a lot of the research they’re saying, don’t fool yourself if you’re denying yourself sleep, it will hit you.

M: Absolutely.

P: There’s a there’s a compensation that has to happen. Same as if you’re going to not eat for 24 hours, you can’t go and exercise when you’re not eating.

M: Yep.

P: But you can, not eat for 24 hours and you won’t die. It’s actually good for you.

M: Ooohhh! In some situations.

P: Well, that another episode right there. We’re going to get side-tracked in a minute.

M: Uh, huh. You’ve got to be –

P: Laugh, I’m pro-fasting.

M: – really, you’ve got to be really careful. Fasting is not for everyone.

P: Yep, another episode.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Laugh.

M: So, back to napping though,

P: Yes.

M: There are definitely revitalising effects that come with napping.

P: Ok. ‘Cause I’m not a napper.

M: And – no me neither, I get really groggy.

P: I find it really frustrating.

M: Oh I can, I can, I just want a nap for three to four or five hours, laugh.

P: Which they say isn’t good for you.

M: Which means I can’t sleep at night.

P: Yeah.

M: So the ideal amount of time is about 90 minutes.

P: Oh, really?

M: But as short as 20.

P: Oh, Okay.

M: And here’s why a lot of people don’t do it because they can wake up in the middle of a sleep cycle and feel groggy and therefore not feel like they got any benefit from it there feeling worse than when they had when they went for the nap.

P: Right.

M: So the trick here is splashing water on your face and take a few steps to get your heart rate up again.

P: Ok.

M: And your brain will actually have had the benefits from that nap.

P: Oh.

M: So, it is worthwhile if you can get a nap in because you feel you need it.

P: Yep the power nap idea.

M: Always worthwhile to do it, even if you do wake yourself up in the middle of a sleep cycle, you’ve still let your brain have some downtime to recover, to put all those things into long term memory, etcetera, etcetera.

P: Yes, mmm.

M: So 20 to 90 minutes. And also, if you can’t do it during the day, which there’s no way I could fit a nap into my corporate life.

P: Laugh!

M: It’s just not happening.

P: Yep.

M: If you can’t do that, then a nap on the weekend is better than no nap. So if you only do a nap on Sundays.

P: A lot of people do that.

M: Yep. Do it.

P: Understood?

M: Absolutely.

P: So before we wrap up, how do we get better sleep if we’re not getting enough sleep?

M: There’s so many things that go into this.

P: Mmm. There are.

M: And, so many different things you should talk to your doctor about. And I’m gonna bring it back to me again.

P: Laugh.

M: Because it’s all about me, laugh. I suffered with bad sleep for a number of years because of my diet.

P: Ah, yes.

M: And it wasn’t because I was eating late. It was purely because I’ve had food allergies and intolerances for so many years, and it impacts my ability to sleep and stay asleep.

P: Understandable.

M: And everyone would tell me ‘you need more sleep’. And I was getting plenty of sleep. It wasn’t light, it wasn’t devices, it wasn’t all the usual things. So absolutely talk to your doctor of you having troubles with sleep because there are so many different things that can impact your sleep. But I think you’ve got three here, Pete, that we might end on that are the usual culprits, right?

P: Yes. So eating late, we’ve talked about it.

Don’t eat late.

Try to give yourself 10 hours without food, so don’t eat [late], especially don’t do what I do, which is a big meal before going to bed, it just keeps you up.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: I’m really bad at it because I finish work late. So don’t eat late.

Put down the devices, no light pollution.

Now that can also come down to keeping lights on in the bedroom, reading just before you go to bed. Which again I’m guilty of, having lots of light around you upsets your circadian rhythms and won’t allow you to rest.

M: Or having poor curtains or outside light.

P: Yep.

M: We have an apartment once that had a big spotlight.

P: Urrgghh.

M: And it used just come in out bedroom window.

P: That’s rough.

M: Most annoying thing in the world.

P: Yep, you want to get a BB-gun and take that thing out.

M & P: Laughter!

P: Last one.

Establish a routine that naturally brings you down.

P: So for me, one of the best things that I can do is to turn all my lights to really low and do some yoga. 20 minutes of yoga, not the big arches and the standing series, nice gentle on the floor, a couple of stretches with some soft music, if you need it, or no music at all. Decrease all the sensitivity of the sympathetic nervous system and naturally you’ll drift off to sleep really well.

M: I personally try to read for 10 minutes every night before bed, at least.

P: Which is fine because you’re resting and it’s fine to do that as long as you.

M: So no device and no white light

P: Yeah, no white light.

M: Definitely, come in here, turn the main lights off. Put the reading light on. Get into bed. 10 minutes often becomes 30 minutes or an hour but I’ll read and it’s –

P: – It’s your way to come down. It’s a good way to do it.

M: Yep.

P: Then you’re not like my mother with the woman’s weekly on your chest at 4am in the morning with glasses on.

M: Laugh!

P: Such a funny sight. You walk past and you’re like ‘Yeah, that’s good.’

And on that happy image, get more sleep people, it’s important!

M: Good night.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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10 Reasons Why 2021 Will be The Year of Better Mental Health

by

better mental health

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000 in Australia, or your local emergency services number.

We know mental health is an issue, but will we finally do anything about it in 2021?

We all know, and we’ve been saying it for long enough, 2020 was shit (s’cuse my language, but it was). Too many things that were simply out of control were impacting our lives – leaving us powerless to do much of anything except resolve to be kind to ourselves and others….

Actually, to be fair, that’s only if you’re self-aware enough to know how to respond to major change, or trauma or crises like what many of us went through last year. The sad truth is that so many people have never been taught how to assess their emotions, to step back and work out a logical (not emotional) way forward. They were never taught how to build resilience and what makes a good life, a happy life.

To be fair, neither was I. I grew up in an era when we still played bullrush and brandings in the playground. I still remember being the nominated person to change those clear plastic sheets on the projector in science class. We didn’t talk about emotions or bullying, and we didn’t have mobile phones or social media. I came from the suck-it-up era, which our grandmothers had instilled in us because they’d seen real depressions and war.

The world is just so different nowadays, and we’re not coping. Even pre-pandemic, and pre 2020 bushfires, and pre-Trump, and pre-Brexit, our mental health was on the decline. We’re not coping with this new world, but finally, after 2020, I think we’re starting to realise that this isn’t just fluff, it’s a problem.

So, check out the latest mental health stats from around the world and decide for yourself: will 2021 be the year of mental health?

1. Around the world, mental health issues are a problem

There are approximately one billion people around the world with a mental, neurodevelopment or substance use disorder – although mental health disorders remain largely underreported, so estimates vary and researchers disagree (Our world in data). But, even with some room for error, the numbers are quite simply staggering.

  • Four million, or 1 in 5, Australians are living with mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression.
  • In the U.S., the numbers are similar with recent stats showing also that 1 in 5 (20.6 per cent) of adults experienced mental illness in 2019 (51.5 million people). (NAMI)
  • Similarly, in any given year, 1 in 5 Canadians experiences a mental illness or addiction problem (CAMH)

2. Mental health and the elderly

The global population is ageing rapidly, with estimates that 1 in 5 people will be over 60 by 2050 – that’s 2 billion people. The most common mental and neurological disorders in this age group are dementia and depression, which affect approximately 5 per cent and 7 per cent of the world’s older population. With this demographic in particular, mental health problems are under-identified by health-care professionals and older people themselves, and the stigma surrounding these conditions makes people reluctant to seek help. (WHO)

In the U.K., depression affects around 22 per cent of men and 28 per cent of women aged 65 years and over, and it is estimated that 85 percent of older people with depression receive no help at all from the NHS. Research shows the five factors that affect the mental health and wellbeing of older people are: discrimination, participation in meaningful activities, relationships, physical health and poverty. (Mental Health Foundation)

Additionally, this group is particularly prone to social isolation and loneliness, which can cause poor mental health outcomes. Loneliness is a complicated issue that has gained increased visibility over recent years. In the U.S., about 28 percent of older adults, or 13.8 million people, live alone, but many of them are not lonely or socially isolated. At the same time, some people feel lonely despite being surrounded by family and friends. (NIH)

3. Mental health and teens

The World Economic Forum states that mental illness is the leading cause of disability and poor life outcomes for young people today, yet investment into mental health is insufficient worldwide. Most mental illness has its onset in adolescence and early adulthood with 75 per cent of mental illness presents by the age of 25 years. (World Economic Forum)

In Canada, 70 per cent of adults with mental health issues begin experiencing symptoms in adolescence, and teens aged 15 to 24 are more likely to experience mental illness and/or substance use disorders than any other age group. This is why the country is looking toward new models of care for their youth. (The Conversation)

In the U.S. 16.5% of U.S. youth aged 6-17 experienced a mental health disorder in 2016 (7.7 million people). Yet stats show that about 50 per cent of U.S. youth with a mental illness get any treatment. Additionally, In the U.S., suicide is the second leading cause of death among people aged 10-34 in the U.S. and overall, 46 per cent of people who die by suicide had a diagnosed mental health condition. (NAMI)

4. Mental health and gender

Most mental health disorders, such as depression, anxiety, bipolar and eating disorders, are more common in women than men. This pattern appears to hold true across most countries. Yet alcohol and substance abuse tend to be higher in men than women. While in Canada, as with many other countries, more than three quarters of suicides involve men, but women attempt suicide 3 to 4 times more often. (CAMH)

Unfortunately, during COVID, women are more at risk of financial insecurity. In a survey of more than 10,000 people in nearly 40 countries, 55 per cent of women reported a significant impact from COVID-19-related income loss, compared with 34 per cent of men, while 27 per cent of women experienced increased struggles with mental health issues, compared with 10 per cent of men. It’s becoming clear that the pandemic could have lasting impacts on the economic and mental well-being of those on low incomes. (World Economic Forum)

5. Mental health and finances

Unemployed people are less mentally and physically resilient than those in work according to a range of studies which have shown a strong correlation between unemployment, as well as job insecurity, and increased risk of depressive symptoms. (Our world in data)

Yet it’s a bit of a vicious cycle, with studies showing that people with a mental illness are much less likely to be employed, with unemployment rates are as high as 70-90 per cent for people with the most severe mental illnesses. Not only that, but people who have jobs but are in the lowest socio-economic groups are also at risk of increased mental health conditions. In Canada, people in the lowest income group are 3 to 4 times more likely than those in the highest income group to report poor to fair mental health. Additionally, studies in various Canadian cities indicate that between 23 per cent and 67 per cent of homeless people report having a mental illness. (CAMH)

6. Mental health and domestic violence

An Australian study analysed almost 500,000 police reports of domestic violence and found that mental health was an issue in both perpetrators and victims. A total of 16 per cent of the examined domestic violence events had at least one mention of a mental illness for either the perpetrator or the victim. In 76 per cent of cases, mental illness was mentioned for the perpetrator only, 17 per cent for the victim only, and 7 per cent for both victim and perpetrator. The researchers also found that mood affective disorders, which include depression or bipolar disorder, were the most common in both victims and perpetrators. (The Conversation)

7. Mental health and the LGBTIQ++ community

The prevalence of mental illness among U.S. adults who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual is more than twice as high all other demographic groups bar one at 44.1 per cent (mixed/multi-racial follow at 31.7 per cent, with all other groups sitting at 22 per cent or below). On top of that, Lesbian, gay and bisexual youth are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide than straight youth, and transgender adults are nearly 12 times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population. (NAMI)

Sadly, the LGBTIQ++ community still faces abuse, bullying, homophobic or transphobic attitudes and a lack of inclusion in even the most liberal countries and this can and does have a serious impact on many in the community’s mental health.

8. Mental health impacts physical health

In Australia, a study in 2018 showed that people with mental health conditions are at greater risk of chronic physical disease and much greater risk of early death. In fact, having a mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression, increases the risk of every single major chronic disease. This includes heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, back pain, diabetes, asthma, bronchitis, emphysema and cancer. More than 2.4 million people have both a mental and at least one physical health condition. (The Conversation)

In Canada, they also found that mental and physical health are linked, showing that people with long-term medical conditions are more likely to experience mood disorders. On the other hand, people with mood disorders are at much higher risk of developing a long-term physical condition. (CAMH)

U.S. stats support these finding and show people with depression have a 40% higher risk of developing cardiovascular and metabolic diseases than the general population. (NAMI)

9. Mental health and Indigenous peoples

In Australia, stats show Aboriginal people are much more likely to suffer from depression or dementia than other Australians. More than 30 per cent of Aboriginal people suffer from some form of psychological distress (general population is 20 per cent). Additionally, about 12 per cent of Aboriginal people aged over 45 years have dementia, with Aboriginal people living in remote communities being 10 times more likely to develop dementia than people living in countries such as Africa, India or Indonesia. (Australia and New Zealand Mental Health Association)

In Canada, First Nations youth die by suicide about 5 to 6 times more often than non-Aboriginal youth. Suicide rates for Inuit youth are among the highest in the world, at 11 times the national average. (CAMH)

10. The economic impact of poor mental health

Research shows that out of all the non-communicable diseases, youth mental health problems present the most serious burden to GDP due to the lack of the return on investment in the individual and the duration of the problem. The report estimated that by 2030 mental illness would lead to losses to global output equivalent to US$16.1 trillion. (World Economic Forum and Harvard)

In Canada, the economic burden of mental illness is estimated at $51 billion per year. This includes health care costs, lost productivity, and reductions in health-related quality of life. And in any given week, at least 500,000 employed Canadians are unable to work due to mental health problems. (CAMH) Across the U.S. economy, serious mental illness causes $193.2 billion in lost earnings each year. (NAMI)

What’s next?

I share this information in the hope that we can have more open and honest conversations about mental health. I do not want to stigmatise people with mental health issues, instead I hope that we can potentially dispel myths about mental health and raise awareness about certain groups’ vulnerability. Mostly, I hope that we can start to take systemic and meaningful action that will make a real impact on these numbers.

Interventions and programs to help people develop mental wellbeing can benefit from WHO’s breakdown of potential adverse and protective factors for mental health, which are broken down into three categories:

  1. individual attributes and behaviours, such as genetics or personality traits;
  2. social and economic circumstances;
  3. environmental factors.

These factors often interact, compound or negate one another and should therefore not be considered as individual traits or exposures.

LevelAdverse FactorsProtective Factors
Individual attributesLow self-esteemSelf-esteem, confidence
Cognitive/emotional immaturityAbility to solve problems & manage stress or adversity
Difficulties in communicatingCommunication skills
Medical illness, substance usePhysical health, fitness
Social circumstancesLoneliness, bereavementSocial support of family & friends
Neglect, family conflictGood parenting/family interaction
Exposure to violence/abusePhysical security & safety
Low income & povertyEconomic security
Difficulties or failure at schoolScholastic achievement
Work stress, unemploymentSatisfaction & success at work
Environmental factorsPoor access to basic servicesEquality of access to basic services
Injustice & discriminationSocial justice, tolerance, integration
Social & gender inequalitiesSocial & gender equality
Exposure to war or disasterPhysical security & safety

Source: Our World in Data

Want to learn more about the science of happiness and how to look after your mental health? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!