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Take Control of Your Happiness This Mental Health Month

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Why you Need to Take Control of Your Happiness

Feeling ‘meh’? Or just not sure what to be feeling at the moment? May is Mental Health Month, and it’s time to take control of your happiness and mental wellbeing.

A few years ago, I stopped to ask ‘why’ and it has changed my life. Why was working hard the ultimate goal? Why was achievement so valued by our capitalist society? Why was a busting my *ss for a corporate company which was just as likely to make me redundant in the next restructure as the next guy? Why?

Many people follow the script. They work hard through school, get into a “good” university, get good grades and head out into the workforce. They marry and have kids, get a mortgage and a house, get a promotion, or two, and then one day, they look around and think, “is this it?” You might also know this as the mid-life crisis.

But some people have found another way to live… one where your happiness is placed at the centre of your decision making. Let’s be clear, chasing happiness does not work, but by following the below steps, you can bring happiness, satisfaction and mental wellbeing into your life.

In this article, we explore how to take control of your happiness and mental wellbeing. Read on!

Get to Know Yourself

Over the last few decades, many studies have shown that journaling is a great tool to help you understand yourself better, unpack old issues and let them go, and give your mind the knowledge to understand how you see and react to the world around you. It has also been shown to increase happiness, help to reach goals and even have some positive physical health benefits.

And if you’re someone who is generally not comfortable opening up to people, studies show that journaling might be the most beneficial to you.

“When we put our thoughts and feelings down on paper, we’re not just transferring them—we’re also transforming them. Writing forces us to arrange our ideas into a sequence, one after another; over time, themes and patterns start to emerge; new insights and perspectives start to bubble up.”

Kira M. Newman, Greater Good Magazine.

To get started all you need is a notepad, and you need to get into the habit of doing it. Generally, you want to set a timer and just keep writing for at least 20 minutes. However, research suggests that even writing for a few minutes can be beneficial. You also want to start making this a practice. Try to write for four days a week, but as with all new habits, remember to forgive yourself if you fall short and just pick up where you left off (in other words, keep going!).

Research shows that what you write about and how you write it matters. You want to write about the things that are bothering you and try to work through your thoughts and emotions… but you also benefit from ending each entry with three things that went well that day or that you’re grateful for.

Once you’ve spent time looking at the past and present, try spending some time focused on the future too. Growth mindset theory says you’re never too old to learn more and keep growing – in fact, the research shows that people who are curious and commit to lifelong learning are happier. You can try finding your passion and purpose through the Japanese art of Ikigai, or you could explore your strengths. Or, you can subscribe to some podcasts or explore new ideas with Ted Talks, or even sign up for a new course.

Achievement is not the Path to Happiness

So, if constantly striving for success isn’t the path to happiness, what is? There are now decades of research into what makes people happy, and her research boils down into three broad foundations. Here’s how to take control of your happiness:

Find Meaning and Purpose. Happy people have meaning and purpose in their lives and this is often tied to a strong sense of identity and self. They have spent time understanding themselves, and know their strengths and their emotional baggage. This is also about having something to get you out of bed in the morning, and about having goals, plans and commitments. These people also tend to practice gratitude, which helps you retrain your brain to scan for the positives in life.

Community and Connection: Happy people have strong community and connection. They have a core group of people they can talk to and depend on. They also tend to have a wider community network, through activities like church, regular volunteering or actively practicing kindness. They find ways to laugh and play with their friends and family, and they also limit their social media activity, which is often not as social as we might think.

Health and Wellbeing: Happy people practice and prioritise positive habits for a healthy body and mind. It could be getting exercise by out into nature for walks, going to the gym, or playing on a sports team, or it could be meditation, drinking water, and making sure they get 8hrs of sleep. The activity itself is less important, the main point is that resilient people prioritise their preferred self-care habits, even when life gets busy.

Resources

Happiness is a skill that you can learn – you can take control of your happiness. However, it’s important to note that this article is written for people who have it within themselves to take control of their mental health and make changes to bring more joy and satisfaction into their lives. These are tips to help people who are generally in good mental health yet who are struggling with day-to-day, manageable issues like low-level stress, burnout and anxiety.

If you are experiencing more sever mental health issues, such as depression or a diagnosable mental condition, or if you are not coping, these activities will not treat your condition and they are unlikely to fix any underlying issues. Visit Psychology Today to look up a professional counsellor in your area.

If you need additional support, here are some amazing Australia-based organisations.

If you are in immediate danger, please call 000 right away.

Mental health, stress and crisis support

Sexual assault, family & domestic violence

Financial hardship

Legal aid

  • Each state and territory has its own Legal Aid Commission. Google “Legal Aid Australia.”

Coronavirus / COVID-19

LGBTIQ support

Veterans & Their Families

Men & Their Families

Kids

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics or sign up to my weekly newsletter for the latest happiness news & resilience resources!

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