• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Unapologetically Marie

Writer, podcaster, mental health advocate

  • Home
  • Happiness Blog
  • Podcast
  • Books
  • Speaking
  • About
Home » vulnerability

vulnerability

6 Positive Psychology Theories you can Practice in Everyday Life

18/11/2020 by Marie

positive psychology theories book in library

Over the last few decades, psychologists have started to turn their cheeks to the negative side of psychology. Instead, psychologists, experts and researchers have started to focus on “the good life” for both individuals and society as a whole.

This relatively new study is called positive psychology, and it is dedicated to the study of what makes us happy.

There are tonnes of positive psychology studies out there, but in this article, I’ve highlighted some of the most influential positive psychology theories – ones you can learn from and practice to change your life for the better.

Read on!

What is Positive Psychology and why is it Important?

Before we jump into positive psychology theories, I think it’s important to explore what it is and why it’s important.

Quite often, psychology focuses more on curing mental illness and eliminating negative feelings. However, positive psychology focuses on human thoughts, feelings, and behaviour, highlighting the good in life instead of repairing the bad. In short, positive psychology is the “study of what makes life worth living.”

By focusing on character strengths, life satisfaction, passion and purpose, wellbeing, gratitude, compassion, self confidence, hope, and optimism, positive psychology aims to teach people how to flourish and live their best life.

#1. Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman

positive psychology seligman

We can’t talk about positive psychology theories without mentioning Martin Seligman.

Seligman is considered the founder of positive psychology. In the 1960s and 1970s, Seligman explored “learned helplessness” and how both humans and animals alike can learn to become helpless and lose control over what happens to them. This related to depression and mental health, and his theories ended up being used to treat depression later down the line.

However, Seligman knew there was more to psychology than the negatives. So, he took the concept of “learned helplessness” and put a positive spin on it. He started thinking about how personal characteristics, traits, and perspectives could be learned.

He focused on what is life-giving rather than life-depleting and in the year 2000, the field of positive psychology was published.


#2. Vulnerability, Brené Brown

Brene Brown Vulnerability

Brene Brown is one of the leading researchers on vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. In fact, she has spent decades researching these emotions and their impact on the human psyche, and her research has been featured on CNN, PBS, and Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday.

Her TED talk is also in the top 10 most viewed TED talks of all time.

Brene says vulnerability mixes uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure – all the things that naturally make us feel uncomfortable. However, if you have the courage and vulnerability to show up, take a chance, and keep trying (even when you fail), you can make serious strides towards happiness and success.

So, how do you practice vulnerability in everyday life?

“I think daring greatly is about showing up and being seen. It’s about owning our vulnerability and understanding it as the birthplace of courage and the other meaning-making experiences in our lives,” Brene says.

“It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly, who at best knows the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Check out Brene’s 2010 TED talk on “the Power of Vulnerability” below!


#3. Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Flow

Alongside Martin Seligman, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is considered one of the founders of positive psychology. He was a prisoner during World War II and during this time, he developed an interest in philosophy, the human mind, and what makes life worth living.

After the war, he found fame for the concept of “flow”, a state where you are completely absorbed in a challenging but doable task.

If you have ever experienced a time where you excelled, succeeded, or felt like you were “in the zone”, you were probably experiencing flow.

Csikszentmihalyi theorised that happiness can be shifted by introducing flow. Happiness is not rigid or set in stone. Instead, he said happiness can be manifested through commitment – each person has some degree of control over their happiness and most people are productive, creative, and happy when they are in a state of flow.

“The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times. The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile,” Csikszentmihalyi said.

Want to learn more about Csikszentmihalyi? Check out the animated video below.


#4. Grit, Angela Lee Duckworth

Angela Lee Duckworth and Grit

Angela Lee Duckworth was mentored by Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania. For more than a decade, Angela studied the concept of “grit” – the ability to work hard and stick to your goals, long term passions, hobbies, and more.

She noted that there are multiple definitions of grit. For example, Seligman’s Penn Resiliency Program focused on the definition of resilience which is optimism and recognising where it’s possible to make changes in your life. Other people define resilience or “grit” as the ability to bounce back from adversity.

What these definitions had in common was the positive response to failure or adversity. From this, Angela created a grittiness scale (you can take the test here). Half of the questions focus on resilience in the face of failure, and half are about having deep, long lasting commitments.

You can practice “grit” and resilience everyday by working hard, whether you’re learning a new hobby, facing your fears, or persevering through tough situations without giving up.

Check out Angela’s 2013 TED talk Grit: the Power of Passion and Perseverance.


#5. Emotional Agility, Susan David

Susan David and Emotional Agility

Susan David is a renowned psychologist and expert on human emotions, happiness, and achievement.

In 2016, Susan released her groundbreaking book Emotional Agility based on two decades of research. Her research shows that emotionally agile people are not immune to stress and setbacks in life – but they do know how to gain insight into tough situations and feelings, which they can use to adapt and align their actions to put their best foot forward.

Emotional agility is about self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind when it comes to change and adversity.

According to Susan’s research, you can practice emotional agility and resilience everyday by:

  • Showing up and facing your thoughts with curiosity and acceptance
  • Stepping out of your own mind and observing your emotions for what they are
  • Sticking to your values and beliefs
  • Making tweaks to your mindset, motivation, and habits so you feel excited and invigorated.

Check out Susan’s 2017 TED talk on the Gift and Power of Emotional Courage.


#6. Growth Mindset, Carol Dweck

Carol Dweck and growth mindset

Dr Carol Dweck has studied her student’s reaction to failure for more than 30 years. She noticed some of her students rebounded from failure with ease, while others were devastated – even by the tiniest setbacks.

Curious about their responses, Carol started looking into people’s beliefs about intelligence and learning. She found that when students recognised they could get smarter if they put extra time and effort into their studies, they were more likely to succeed.

This made Susan ask whether we can change or mindsets, and if so, how?

It all comes down to neuroscience. Connectivity between neurons can change with experience and practice – the neutral network can grow new connections, strengthen existing connections, and speed up the transmission of impulses.

So, with that in mind (pun intended), you can become smarter and increase your chance of success by using good strategies, asking questions, practicing, getting some sleep, and maintaining a good diet every single day.

Check out Carol’s talk with Google on the growth mindset.


Want to learn more about positive psychology theories and how you can implement these strategies in your own life? Sign up to my email newsletter for updates, advice, and resources today!

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: emotional agility, Martin Seligman, positive psychology, positive psychology theories, resilience, vulnerability

TED’s top 11 positive psychology talks

05/01/2020 by Marie

Are you new to the field of positive psychology? Maybe you’re overwhelmed with all the content out there and not sure where to start?

It’s not surprising. Positive Psychology is a fairly new sub-field within the study of psychology. It is the study of happiness and looks at how people can live a more fulfilling, satisfying and meaningful life, and there has been an explosion of research and content over the past couple of decades.

To get you started on all you need to know, here’s a look at the best TED talks by some of the top positive psychology superstars around the world.

  1. Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology (23:42), July 2008. Commonly known as the founder of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman is a leading authority in the fields of Positive Psychology and resilience.
  2. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow, the secret to happiness (18:55), October 2008. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a Hungarian-American psychologist. He recognised and named the psychological concept of flow, a highly focused mental state conducive to productivity and happiness.
  3. Dan Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness (21:16), September 2006. Dan Gilbert is an author and Harvard psychologist who says our beliefs about what will make us happy are often wrong.
  4. Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness (12:46), December 2015. Robert Waldinger is a Harvard psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Zen priest and director of the longest study on adult life and happiness.
  5. Carol Dweck: The Power of Believing That You Can Improve (10:24), November 2014. Stanford university psychologist Carol Dweck researches “growth mindset” — the idea that we can grow our brain’s capacity to learn and to solve problems verses having a ‘fixed mindset.’
  6. Emily Esfahani Smith: There’s more to life than being happy (12:18), September 2017. Emily Esfahani Smith is a writer who draws on psychology, philosophy, and literature to write about the human experience—why we are the way we are and how we can find grace and meaning in a world that is full of suffering.
  7. Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability (20:19), December 2010. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of five #1 New York Times best sellers.
  8. Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work (12:20), February 2012. Shawn Achor is an American author, and speaker known for his advocacy of positive psychology. He authored The Happiness Advantage and founded GoodThink, Inc.
  9. Angela Lee Duckworth: Grit: The power of passion and perseverance (6:12), May 2013. Angela Duckworth is co-founder and CEO of Character Lab, a nonprofit that uses psychological science to help children thrive, and a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.
  10. Adam Grant: The surprising habits of original thinkers (15:25), April 2016. Adam M. Grant is an American psychologist, author and professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania specializing in organizational psychology.
  11. Susan David: The gift and power of emotional courage (16:48), January 2018. Susan David, Ph.D. a renowned psychologist and expert on emotions, happiness, and achievement, believes that one of the keys to a happy life is knowing yourself. She talks about recognising your feelings and understanding what they are really telling us.

Got a favourite Ted talk that’s not on this list? Share it below.


Don’t miss out!

In 2020, we’ve got a jam-packed editorial calendar of science-backed content on topics like ‘the power of being bored’ and ‘the importance of finding ‘flow.’’ There will be reviews of books and other resources in the positive psychology space, and we’ll be launching a new podcast called Happiness for Cynics. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out!

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: career change, change, cope with change, courage, flow, grit, habits, happiness, happy, inspiration, new career, new job, passion, plan for change, positive psychology, resilience, resiliency, vulnerability

I Choose to Get My Ass Kicked

27/10/2019 by Marie

There’s nothing more life affirming than getting your ass kicked, and being OK with it. It’s the simple act of showing up, of not knowing if the outcome will go your way, and participating anyway. 

It’s about making yourself vulnerable, knowing it, and doing it anyway.

Get in the arena and fight, or lay down and die.

The latter is exactly what I did when I got out of hospital after 3 months of fighting. Yep, you read that right. I just opted out. I don’t know why, but it turns out that many people do it following big life transitions.

It’s been a long road since then, and I’m only just wrapping my head around all the research in this space, but I want to start by talking about vulnerability.

The Power of Vulnerability

There’s a certain rush that comes with it, not quite like jumping out of a plane, but close enough without putting your life in danger. It’s the rush of fear and loss of control – which is particularly hard on us Type A people!

Vulnerability is exactly what Dr. Brené Brown has been advocating for since spoke at TedxHouston in 2010. Since then, her talk “The Power of Vulnerability” has become one of the top five most viewed TED talks ever, with 44+ million views.

Brené, a research professor at the University of Houston, has spent more than two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers. And she has recently filmed a talk on Netflix, “The Call to Courage,” which was launched in April 2019.

With a great sense of humour, Brené talks about choosing courage over comfort, and I couldn’t agree more. I highly recommend you find the time to watch these videos, because as Brené says: “I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”

So thank you Brené, and yes, I too choose to get my ass kicked.

Related content: Read Moving On article My Story

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: Brene Brown, moving on, resilience, show up, vulnerability

Footer

About Marie

My story

Speaker profile

Speaker testimonials

Contact

Privacy and Disclaimer

Podcast: Happiness for Cynics

Spotify

Amazon

 

Book: Self-care is church for non-believers

Buy now

Media kit (PDF)

 

If you purchase some items on or via my site, I may get a small fee for qualifying purchases. Please know that I only promote products I believe in. Also, your purchase doesn't increase the cost to you but it makes a big difference to me and helps me to keep this blog running. Thanks for your support. Copyright © 2026 · WordPress · Log in