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Wellbeing Centres… hippie communes or paths to happiness?  Interview with Diana Stobo  

28/04/2022 by Marie

For cynics around the world, wellbeing retreats top the list of things of which to be sceptical. Conjuring images of fit and tanned, green-smoothie-drinking, yoga-pant-wearing health and fitness buffs or meditating hippies in sustainably sourced clothing and bare feet, it’s easy to simply dismiss wellbeing retreats as a fad for rich people or the fringes of society. 

It turns out, nothing is further from the truth. Research shows that consumers care deeply about wellness, with the market exploding in recent years. Global consulting firm, McKinsey, showed that 79 per cent of survey respondents across in six countries believe that wellness is important, and 42 per cent consider it a top priority. Over the past few years, people around the world have shown a substantial increase in the prioritisation of wellness. 

McKinsey estimates the global wellness market is valued at more than $1.5 trillion, with annual growth of 5 to 10 percent, and when it comes to wellness centres and retreats, Wellness Creative Co. estimates the wellness tourism market is projected to reach $919 billion by 2022.  

That’s why I recently sat down with celebrity chef, best-selling author, and health and wellness life-coach, Diana Stobo. Here’s our interview. 

Q: You have such a varied career in the wellness industry, and I’m interested to know what drew you to this industry and field of work?  

Diana: Ha, ha. You know, I don’t think anything drew me there. I think it was serendipitous. Honestly, I think you fall into it. When I wrote my first book, which has not been published, the first sentence was, “everything that I’ve done has led me to here.” 

I think that’s what we can all do. We can look back and go, “How did I get here?” And then you look at the things that you’ve done, the things that you’ve accomplished and what your life, the turmoils, the ups and downs, the adversity, and it all leads you to where you’re going. You can’t plan that. It just happens. You know that saying: we plan our lives and God laughs.  

I think, I think God was laughing the whole time as I was writing my books. You know, I have a girlfriend who told me once it was it was fantastic because I actually felt what she was saying when I went through my divorce was, I feel like my soul is driving the car and I’m a passenger. And I keep saying turn left, turn left and my soul’s ‘ha, ha, turn right’, you know? 

Or you say, stop, stop! And your soul runs through the light and you’re like, wow, the soul is doing something completely different than you had planned. And that’s, that’s how I got here.  

Q: Surely along the way, you’re loving what you’re doing. Is that fair to say? Because you’re so successful at it. 

Diana: One hundred percent, one hundred percent. Every single day I wake up and I go, if I wasn’t doing what I’m doing, what would I be doing? I don’t know. But I do pick and choose the parts that fulfil me. There are parts of what I do that I don’t love. You have to do it to get through. But I’ve learned to find people who can do it, and also let go of the outcome of you know, the control and just let people flourish in their own way, which is really great. Which is why I have such an amazing staff, because I read something once with Southwest Airlines. I don’t know if you know Southwest Airlines in Australia, but it’s “the friendly skies”, right?  

So, it’s an airline that’s basically… they tell jokes, and people can wear what they want. It’s super relaxed and the guy who put it together, he said, “We teach people, we show them the protocols, and then we say, but you can break them if it benefits the client.” And that’s the part that I love, you know. I have my staff be all that they are, you know, I let them become whoever they are yet stay within the confines of what the program is.  

And that’s probably how I live my life, honestly.  

Q: Today we’re here to talk primarily about wellbeing retreats or wellbeing centres, and I’ll get to that in a second. But I’d like to ask a sneaky question, off topic, because you’re also one of the original pioneers of the raw food movement, a leading raw food chef, health and wellness educator and the founder and CEO of Truth Bar. And I have to ask, what is it about how humans are eating today that needs fixing? What’s wrong with what we’re doing today?  

Diana: I know that when I went through menopause just recently a few years back, I started to put on weight again, and everything that I know and everything that I taught myself and everything that I teach went out the window when I started Googling. I started Googling, “What do you do with menopause?” And everything went down to supplements and ridiculous fad diets. And I got really confused, I really did. I thought maybe what I teach and what I know doesn’t work for me anymore, because I’m a new person because now I’ve got no hormones. So maybe, maybe I have to restructure everything. And so, I played the game for about two years, and honestly, I got fatter and fatter and fatter. It was really uncomfortable. And I got sicker and sicker, and so I just went back to what I know, and it worked.  

So, I think that there’s so much information that people get obsessed with the information and then they don’t know what’s real, what’s not real. You know, we first were taught to read packages, but if you’re reading a package, you shouldn’t be eating it, period.  

End of story, you know there’s so many things I can say about food. I can talk about food for six hours, get me on another podcast because food is such an important thing. 

And now at my hotel, The Retreat Costa Rica, we have an innovative doctor, and the reason I chose that is because everything is about nature and they’ll tell you the number one most important thing is what you eat. Number one. People think it’s, ‘I gotta work out more’ or it’s psychological. Everybody tries to pin something on their disease or dysfunction, but number one, the most important thing is what you put in your body.  

You are what you eat, and I don’t think that was ever taught to any of us. It certainly wasn’t taught to me. I mean, my mom used to have TV dinners when we were kids, and we would watch the wonderful World of Disney while eating something in a tin can that she heated up in the oven.  

I hope no one uses microwaves anymore. But microwaves… you shouldn’t even be in a room where a microwave is running because the radiation that it emits is huge. So, I don’t know. It’s almost like we have to relearn everything that we didn’t learn. And we love convenience, just like we love technology. But none of it’s good for us. None of it’s good for us.  

I really think that what we’re going through right now is… knock on wood…. It’s the beginning of something exceptional. It looks like despair right now and destruction. But I’m hoping that the storm will pass and everything will be washed away and we can look at life in a different perspective. I truly believe that we’re going to look at our history books differently. Everything is going to be different. And so, we have to be positive. Take care of ourselves. Remain healthy, happy, most importantly, and then we’ll see what unfolds. But don’t get obsessed with what’s going on.  

Q: A lot of us have been conditioned to be sceptical of wellness centres. Can you help bust the myths and for people, myself included, who have never been to a wellness retreat, can you explain a bit about what it is? And why it’s important for someone to spend money on a wellness retreat for a week versus going to Vegas?  

Diana: Well, that’s a fantastic juxtaposition. Wellness retreat or Vegas? Well, let’s just point out the basic stuff. You know, food and drink. That’s the first thing. When we go on vacation… it’s really funny, my brother just came to visit and he was eating a lot, and I said, you know, “slow your roll, dude. You’re a 57-year-old man. Really, do you really need to get a scoop of ice cream at three o’clock in the afternoon? I mean that should just be off limits until we’re grandparents, you know what I’m saying?” 

And he says, “Hey, I’m on vacation. I’m on vacation!” And that’s such a mentality that we go on vacation to destroy all the work we’ve done on ourselves. So just think of it in terms of going to a wellness place where you know that you’re only going to get the finest things to put in your body. Okay, we all go on a vacation or, let’s say Vegas, since you use that one. We go and we need to work out, right? So, we go to the gym and we take a yoga class or we walk up The Strip or something, and we try to find [one] and it’s hectic because it’s too hot out. We’re not really here, we’re rushing to get to a class.  

But you go to a wellness retreat and everything is available there for you at any given time. And whether you’re walking in nature or stretching on the yoga mats or going to the gym or getting a treatment massage, you get to choose. There’s no rush. There’s no anxiety. There’s no stress. There’s no ‘shoulds.’ There’s no ‘should nots.’ It’s all there. You can’t make a mistake at a wellness retreat. You can’t eat the wrong foods. You can’t drink too much. You can’t… I mean, there’s just nothing for you to do wrong. And if you do drink too much, you’re going to get a green juice in the morning that’s going to cure it all!  

So as far as all the “woo woo” and the meditation and all that, I actually break it down really simply. The Retreat Costa Rica is very unique that way. So, everything is very light, white. So, it’s like a blank canvas, and you get to paint the world you want. There are people who go and sit by the pool and read all day. They don’t attend anything. They go get a treatment. That’s the, that’s the idea of wellness is becoming who you really are, allowing yourself to unfold and discover yourself. When you’re on an agenda and drinking and eating things that you shouldn’t be doing. You’re just clogging your system. You can’t flow.  

So, why spend the money to go to a retreat rather than to Vegas? Because you want to feel good. That’s really it. I think a lot of people get wrapped up in the program and they go, I gotta do this, I gotta do this. I got to do that. And then, day three, they surrender. They’re like, you know what, I’m just going to go with the flow, and that’s, that’s where the healing happens. It really does. And I tell people, they’re like, “I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta get to yoga!” and I go “No, you don’t.” If you don’t want to go and you’re in a conversation, having connection with another guest and being in conversation is part of your process. So, sit, relax, heal. It’s all different. You know, it depends. Every place is different, but that’s what it’s like at the retreat.  

Q: So, what would a typical week look like for your guests?  

Diana: The typical week? Well, I think it’s really important to see the biorhythms. Like I said, a lot of people come in there with no expectations. I think the retreat is very unique. It calls to a lot of people, and they don’t know what they want when they get there. 

I see this time and time again. I don’t know if that’s true for every place, but because it’s laid out with such a clean agenda, it’s not a lot of rushing around. But a lot of people come in and go, “Okay, well, I want to go to the Volcano, I want to go to the beach, I want to make sure I have lunch. And what kind of… I want to juice this day. I want to do this. And they lay it down and they go to the front reception. And I’m telling you, they’re doing all the classes. They’re doing all their program. They’re doing it all, but they’re like trying to figure out how they can fit more in. Because they’re in Costa Rica and they want to fit it in.  

So, they go to the receptionist. And of course, they’re like, can you book this? Can you book this? Can you book this? Come day three, you know, they’re like, did you book those things for me? Oh, maybe you can take that off. 

In day four, they get up and they go straight to the reception and they say, “Cancel it all, I’m not leaving here.” The day starts, six am, seven am, whatever. It’s an open kitchen. So, people come in, they get their coffee, their tea, their elixirs, whatever makes them happy, their green juices.  

They go to yoga. Yoga is … an eight o’clock class for an hour, hour and a half, and it ranges, all the different flows so people can get a nice blood moving. And then there’s breakfast. And then there’s a hike, and then there’s open spa. There are two pools, two restaurants, and then, of course, there’s lunch.  

And then there’s another yoga. And then there’s sunset and then treatments in between and meeting with people. And another thing that happens is people come in they’re like, “I was wondering what I was going to do all day.” Then at the end, they’re like, “where did the day go?” Because it’s not very often that we take care of ourselves and just allow the day to unfold naturally. 

Q: What I’m hearing from you is that the first few days they’re still working like they’re at work. And in that constant busy mode that we like to be in and put ourselves in, how do we take the lessons from a wellness centre and apply them back into our day to day lives? When you know the kid’s school’s calling and they’re sick, and your boss needs something by deadline and your parents are coming for a trip to visit and all of, you know, all of the stuff. What would your tips be for your guests?  

Diana: Well, everybody is different, and some people take a lot from it. And some people just can’t surrender. They just can’t open their mind to a new way of life. They enjoyed it. Thank you very much. I’ll be back. But some people have… I would say a good portion of people have profound shifts.  

And what I think is… there’s the eating component. There’s the relaxation component. There’s the exercise component. There’s the spiritual component. And even if they take just a small portion of it back home with them, the next time they come, they’ll take another portion and they’ll take another portion. And that’s why people get addicted to these wellness retreats because they find their purpose. They find their meaning in life. They discover their soul. And in the rat race you don’t have time for that. So, it’s sometimes, it’s a shift, and it changes people immediately because they’re probably ready and on the precipice of change and then other people, it’s a slow burn.  

But everybody, everybody learns something. I mean, I can give you stories of people who I think probably will never learn anything, ever as long as they live. 

I had this great Buddhist teacher and he said, you know, he used to say it about somebody I knew. And he said “they’re evolving at the pace of a rock.” And, if you think about that, you’re like yeah, rocks do evolve. They just take a long time, right?  

Then there’s other people who are shifting like feathers in the wind. And so, everybody is different. But that’s how it happened for me. I became a wellness junkie because I started going when my kids were young. I would go for one week, and every time I came back, I felt like a new person. I thought, That’s the life I want for me. So, it took a while, took many years and a lot of visits to wellness retreats to find that.

Q: So, I assume, and I’m hearing that you practise a lot of what you preach at your own wellness centres. Can you tell me how these things have impacted you and your family’s lives? So what, what were those incremental changes that you started seeing and personally, what works for you?  

Well, I think saying no. I always I always tell people say yes to the universe, but you have to say no to the people asking for favours. Because that’s not the universe. That’s just, you know, people… say no and make more time for yourself. Time management I think is really important. That was the beginning.  

I think the physical part was work out less. You know, don’t work so hard on working out, like, actually find the… because I used to work out so much till my body hurt. And I don’t like doing that anymore. I think it actually creates too much acid in my body and long-term inflammation, etcetera, etcetera, that I learned to be more gentle.  

Food, I mean, my expertise is food and understanding food understanding more importantly what it does to your body, like we just we think about the internal, we eat it and then it comes out the other end, right? But what does it do? What does it do when it goes inside? And I love biology. I was a pre-med, I love physiology. I understand the body and how things work. I just never put two and two together. Never, I never thought about what I eat and where it goes and what it’s doing when it enters your body. And once you learn that you can’t go back, you would never put anything you know, icky into your body ever again.  

Little by little by little, you know, for some people, like they come, they go. You know, the one thing I love about the retreat is they always have a warm soup as an appetiser every night for dinner. And people actually get… They want it, they crave it, they can’t wait to have it. And so, the one thing I want to take home with me is I’m going to make soup every night. Okay.  

Have you ever seen the wheel of life? You use it for coaching, right? It’s a life coach tool, and you’ve got your, you’ve got your family, career, exercise, food, your livelihood, your finance. And that’s basically it. What parts of your life are empty that you need to fulfil? Yeah, focus on those first.  

Q: On that note, you did mention saying yes to the universe before. So, what’s next for you? 

Diana: Well, next Tuesday, I turn 57. I’m getting tired. I gotta say, I’m getting tired of the hustle. But what I built what I started to build 8 to 10 years ago is now still being nurtured.  

I mean, the Retreat, knock on wood again, is doing well. And I think that the after the storm that we went through and we’re growing, and so that is a project that’s still growing. We just added six rooms. We’re going to add 10 more rooms. And hopefully we’re creating a village, a community of wellness there. And then I have another company. Have another company is called Truth Bar. It’s a gut health bar, so I focus on the gut health and really bringing that to the surface so people can actually heal themselves with candy bars you know, functional food. 

For me, I just moved across country to another state. And, you know, I’m kind of I’m excited about settling and maybe having a little bit of a social life again. Because I’ve been working so hard for so long that I really want to connect and have deep relationships and spend some time with the people I love. And it’s hard. It is hard. I mean, I didn’t do it over the last two years, all the stuff we’ve been going through, and it really put an emphasis on how important all those people are. 

About Diana Stobo

The Retreat Costa Rica is the innovation of celebrity chef, best-selling author, and health and wellness life-coach, Diana Stobo. Her goal was to create a transformational wellness center that has since become a distinctively Costa Rican experience of “Heaven on Earth” — a resort and spa where guests experience a harmony of nature, nutrition, and wellness nestled among the lush vegetation of the rainforest. 


Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and weekly email newsletter for regular updates and news!   

  

  

Filed Under: Blog, Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: happiness, health, mentalhealth, relax, Rest, wellbeing, yoga

Are You Getting the Rest You Need? (E82)

30/08/2021 by Marie

Happiness for Cynics

This week, Marie and Pete discuss the latest research on different types of rest, and pose the question are you getting the rest you need?

Show notes

Rest Quiz – What type of rest are you not getting?

Go to: https://www.drdaltonsmith.com/ and complete the free Rest Quiz on Dr Dalton’s website

  1. Physical rest 
  2. Mental rest 
  3. Sensory rest 
  4. Creative rest 
  5. Emotional rest 
  6. Social rest 
  7. Spiritual rest 

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

P: Hi, hi, hi 😊

M: How’s this for country hospitality. I ran away from Sydney just before the latest lockdown and have joined my husband, who’s been working up in Tamworth, which is in regional New South Wales in Australia. And instead of knocking on our door during these covid times, I got a handwritten note from our local Mormon.

P: Yep.

M: Inviting me to join them.

P: I’ve heard of this! Laugh. I like it, I think it’s funny.

M: Country hospitality, laugh!

P: Exactly. Good on them for being adaptive. I think it’s great. I think we should take note.

M: Absolutely, a handwritten note and in beautiful cursive writing. I was like wow.

P: There we go.

M: Nice, laugh.

P: But we know that church is good for us because Self-care is church for non-believers.

M: Absolutely. The rituals that church provides, absolutely.

P: Or did provide, yes.

M: Yeah. Or does for those who attend, Yep.

P: But we’re not talking about church this week, what are we talking about this week, Marie?

M: Rest! I’m tired, Pete!

P: Laugh.

M: Always tired.

P: Have a rest and a lie down.

M: Ah, that’s a really good point. A while ago, if people said they were tired, maybe, you know, have a cup of tea and then go to bed.

P: Absolutely.

M: So really, sleep is the way that we have always thought to solve that question of tiredness.

P: Mmm.

M: But today we’re going to talk about how sleep alone isn’t enough.

P: Oh!

M: And there’s so much more to rest than maybe we’ve been led to believe in the past. And we’re really taking a lot of the tips and hints and research in today’s episode from Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith. She has just written a book called Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity.

P:That’s a New Age slogan right there, laugh!

M: It sure is.

P: Now Marie, having known you for a little while, I reckon if I had read that out to you about three years ago, you would have scoffed and walked off.

M: Yeah. What a waste of money. Why would I buy that?

P: Laugh!

M: I’m gonna take my $10 and by a martini, thank you.

P & M: Laughter!

P: How we have changed, laugh!

M: Absolutely.

P: So, what does Dr. Saundra have to say about rest?

M: She says that there are seven types of rest and that really between all seven. If you take care of all seven types of rest, that impacts how you show up in the world. It impacts how you get out of bed.

P: Mmm.

M: It impacts your mood throughout the day. It impacts whether or not you drop after lunch.

P: Oh, so true!

M: It impacts whether you’re tired at night. You know, the first one to go home after a good night out with friends, it impacts your happiness levels as well.

P: Mmm.

M: So, in impacts how you show up each and every day.

P: Yeah, What I like about this approach as well is that she’s not just looking as sleep as being the only factor that’s at play here. There are so many factors that affect our sleep.

M: Yeah.

P: And what I think this this premise does is it addresses some of those lifestyle characteristics that contribute ultimately to our sleep. We know that a one-hour loss in sleep results in a 30% drop in immune function. That’s my little catchphrase from some of the stuff that I’ve read. What I like, about what Dr. Saundra is talking about is there’s always other elements in there which we can address as rest.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And changing our lifestyle habits, that really does have an impact on how we get to sleep in the positive.

M: It’s all interlinked, isn’t it?

P: Yeah, so much.

M: And so for me, with my medical history, I’ve had a long and bumpy ride with food allergies and food intolerances, and it is amazing to me how much my sleep quality is impacted by what I eat. Now that’s not everyone and that obviously we all have our own issues, and you know what you know, and you think it applies to other people.

P: Laugh.

M: When people have sleep issues, I’m like, Have you looked at your diet?

P & M: Laugh!

M: There are many reasons why we might not be getting a great night’s sleep. But for me back again and three years ago, I may not have been saying this either.

P: Laugh.

M: Mind and body are just so interlinked and everything is part of the same ecosystem. I’ve just written an article on my blog on gut health, actually, and how that your happiness.

P: Oh, yes. Yes.

M: So, I’ve got a great quote and then we’ll go into the seven types because I know everyone’s just wanting to know what seven types we’ve spoken about are.

P: Laugh.

M: So, a quote from Dr. Saundra, she says “Rest is not simply the cessation of activity, the core of rest has to be restorative.”

P: Oh.

M: And that really opens everything up to more than sleep, right?

P: Mmm, it does.

M: Which is exactly what we’ve been saying.

P: Yeah.

M: All right, so we’ll start with the first one physical rest.

P: Mmm, you need to take a break. This one applies to me actually.

M: This one is the one that we’re probably going to spend the least amount of time on is the most self-evident. There are two types of physical rest. One is passive, which is sleep.

P: Yep. Easy.

M: Right? Lay down, sleep, physical rest, tick.

P: Yep.

M: The other is an active physical rest, and this includes things like yoga or stretching or light walking. It’s just resetting your body. Gentle, rhythmic, you could probably put swimming in there maybe, gentle physical activity that is not exciting your system.

P: Mmm, downgrading.

M: Exactly, exactly.

P: She actually does list massage therapy in her Ted talk on this subject, So that’s a big tick for me! Laugh. Come get a massage, people!

M: I will do A massage over an hour of yoga any day.

P: Laugh. Ahh… good if we could get massages though… sigh.

M: Yeah. Laugh.

P: Laugh, Ok. Moving on the second type of rest is mental rest, and she talks about irritable and forgetful people, people who find it difficult concentrating at work. All these sorts of people just can’t seem to turn themselves off. What she says is, the good news is you don’t have to go on a vacation or quickly job to be able to do this. Scheduling short breaks into your day are vital. This I have to definitely put my hand up having been the person that you know works from eight o’clock in the morning, through to seven o’clock without a lunch break.

M: [Judgemental tone] Mmm hmm.

P: Laugh, this is me. Making sure that you’ve got some time where you stop and rejuvenate. Allow your energy levels to re-jig and to get some, some focus back to get some ingestion going on. Slow yourself down.

M: Slow your brain down.

P: It really helps. Yeah, it really helps.

M: Yeah, and this is also more difficult in today’s society because we are pulled in so many different directions. If you’re not sitting at a computer all day, you’ll definitely nowadays have a phone and we say we know we should turn off notifications, but so many of us don’t.

P: Yep.

M: And even when you do, you know that that little red dots sitting there after lunch.

P: Laugh!

M: You know it’s there, even though you haven’t heard a ping or buzz at you.

P: Yep, laugh.

M: So, it’s really also mental rest is about mindfulness and stopping and taking a big, deep breath. And just letting your mind wander for a bit, doing the dishes without any TV or music on and just focus on doing the dishes.

P: Mmm.

M: Or, you know, washing your hair.

P: Mmm.

M: There’s many activities during the day that we add unnecessary noise into. And our mind is just being bombarded with stuff and noise and sensory input.

P: Information overload.

M: Yeah, let your mind focus on one task or on no task.

P: This is where the cup of tea comes in really well. Having a cup of tea is the old English way of stopping.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: You stop for a cup of tea and you sit in the office, in your backyard, I sit on my balcony when the sun’s out and I have a cup of tea and it makes you stop, lovely.

M: So, this fits well into number three, which is sensory rest.

P: Mmm.

M: So, you’ve got mental rest, that’s really stopping your mind from having to think.

P: Yep.

M: But just as important. And this one really made me look at my habits.

P: Yeah.

M: I would finish a long day at work. So, I get up, I try and get some exercise in then do some writing or you know, editing the podcast or blog writing.

P: Mmm.

M: All of that kind of stuff and then I start a 10-hour workday.

P: Yeah, woah.

M: And so, at the end of the day, all I want to do is crash in front of the TV, and that doesn’t take into account the fact that you can overload on sensory input.

P: Yeah.

M: So, at the end of the day, what my brain needed was a book, or for me to have a shower and wash my hair or for me to do something that was really not going to continue to overload me from a sensory perspective.

P: Yeah, I was going to say that that sensory stimulation is coming in through your eyes, like that light pollution that we talked about before.

M: And it is. So, you sit yourself down in front of the TV and your brain is like, Oh, gosh more.

P: Again!

M: So, while you might be sort of zoning out in front of it, your brain is still processing all of those images and noises.

P: Yep.

M: Plus, you know, the dog wants to be let out for a walk and is scratching at the door, and your kids are not going to bed. And you know your husband’s asking when dinner will be ready.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Like all of this stuff, the life stuff that adds to sensory input. And it’s really important to find some time away from all of that sensory input and get your sensory rest.

P: Yep, schedule it.

M: And then find the time. So, just to be clear, that’s no devices, no noise, no screens and no people, either. No demands on your mind.

P: Oh really? Oh.

M: This is really about shutting down, and meditation would be great, just going into the garden or just somewhere that you can really reduce your five senses.

P: Mmm.

M: Reduce the assault on those five senses and just take some quiet time. And it could be 20 minutes once a week if that’s all you can manage.

P: Yep.

M: It doesn’t have to be daily, but do you find time to, to shut down all that sensory input sometimes.

P: I like it.

M: Number four, Pete?

P: Number four, creative rest. Ah hah, creative rest is about happiness. It’s about having fun! It’s a little bit of activation, in a way. Creative rest is about taking inspiration, finding awe, so remembering the first time that you walked and saw a cliff face into the ocean. For me I’ve got images of Southern Italy with my niece and doing a trek and getting to this nunnery that looked out over this blue, blue ocean. That is creative rest.

M: Mmm.

P: That is inspiring awe and wonder and allowing yourself to take in some beauty and revel in that moment.

M: The easiest way to get this is to just get out into nature, isn’t it?

P: Yeah, she talks about that a lot, and she says that’s not the only way. But it’s the easiest, the easiest way because it makes you stop. It makes you breathe. It makes you pause because you’re in front of this incredible scenery.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And what Dr Saundra talks about as well is having that in your daily life as well. So, if you’re around on your desk having those images up and around you make a big impact. I was doing some work recently on all the supportive things that go towards making a therapeutic environment; and being a health care professional, I was sort of being informed about all these elements, and there’s a reason why you put images of greenery and rocks.

M: And Buddhism candles!

P: And Buddhism candles, laugh, in your space because that placebo effect is scientific. It has a scientific reaction on someone’s receptiveness to a treatment or therapy. So that’s another way of gaining some creative rest.

M: I remember the first apartment I ever had or rented, and I decided I was going to use red and black.

P: Laugh.

M: You know, it was cool, it was funky. I decorated with red and black, and it was aggressive.

P: Laugh!

M: I think it lasted about two days, and I was like, not happening, you know, coming back into that space.

P: Aaahhh!

M: Laugh, a murder scene had gone on in there, right.

P & M: Laugh!

M: It was just palpable the way it made you feel because it was so aggressive in its colour scheme.

P: Mmm.

M: I 100% agree with you, Pete.

P: Laugh.

M: It’s so important to get it right.

P: You know a really nice thing? Get a pot plant. Put a pot part in your workspace. It can be really small, a tiny little one, a little succulent that you don’t need to take too much care of pop it on your desk and have two and rotate them between the sun. Really good way to bring in some green.

M: I have a plant here with me in my study. And the only reason it’s here is because this is where I spend my days and otherwise the cats eat them.

P & M: Laughter!

M: So, it’s the only way I can have a plant, keeping it with me during the day so I can keep an eye on it. Laugh!

P: So the cats don’t eat it! Laugh.

M: And then at night, I close the door to my study and the plants get closed in there too.

P: Laugh. Funny.

M: So recently, as part of my certificate in happiness studies, we did a week studying meditation, and one of the –

P: Ha, ha, ha.

M: – Yes, I know you’re laughing at me because I’m still a cynic when it comes to meditation, it’s just not my jam.

P: Laugh.

M: But one of the ways you can meditate. And this is actually something that does come from studying this stuff is actually getting a deeper understanding of all the different types of meditation, and one of them is music meditation.

P: Yep.

M: And so, to this creative rest category here. A great way to get rest, creative rest, is to put on a track of music and close your eyes, sit down and really listen to it in a deep and meaningful way that you haven’t before.

P: Yep, really engage with it.

M: Yep, and that’s just a three minute exercise. And it’s part meditation, so you’re getting a bit of mental rest in there, but you’re also getting a bit of creative rest. And it’s amazing when you do it, how much you can reinterpret a song or a piece of music that you’ve known your whole life and hear new things that you’ve never noticed before.

P: Music without lyrics actually works really well for that, because it is that depriving of the senses. So going in like a violin piece or a piano piece.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: It’s really easy to engage, and it’s a type of meditation. We talked about this in a meditation episode, right in the very beginning I think it was, Marie.

M: I wasn’t listening back then.

P: Laughter!

M: That was your show, laugh.

P: Delete, laugh. Anyway.

M: I did it cause Pete wanted to do an episode on meditation and I was like ‘why?’

P: Laugh!

M: And I have to say for everyone out there listening, meditation has so much research, so much research into the benefits for you, particularly in today’s day and age, which is, you know, as we just said, such a sensory overload kind of world. So, it is not that I am arguing against the validity of it as a way to increase your health and wellness. What I’m saying is, it just doesn’t work for me. I haven’t really found my type of meditation.

P: You’ll get there, oh budding grasshopper.

M: Laugh.

P: Emotional rest.

M: Yes, number five, emotional rest. Find a good friend. Well, you know, a therapist.

P: Laugh.

M: Find a good friend or therapist, be authentic and vulnerable with and let your guard down.

P: Mmm.

M: And really, there’s still so much more research. I was just reading another piece of research that was in an article today on psychology today again saying that close relationships are so important and there’s so many reasons why and this is one of them.

P: Mmm.

M: Emotional rest, if you are constantly wearing a mask, you cannot let go or be the true you.

P: No authenticity.

M: Yeah, and sometimes it’s dangerous for you to be the real you. The environment you’re in would not allow that.

P: Yep.

M: Other times it’s emotional or mental barriers and scarring from, you know, growing up. There’s a lot that can play into this. So, we’re not saying that you have to all of a sudden come out or be authentic, but it’s worth understanding that that lack of authenticity in your life has a huge impact on your mental well-being.

P: Mmm.

M: We did also do an episode on this before, Pete.

P: Laugh, yeah.

M: And really, if you can keep searching for your tribe, the people that you can find who you can be authentic around.

P: Mmm.

M: People like Pete.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Who love you for who you are.

P: Aww, stop it I’m going to cry.

M: Aww.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Then that provides so much emotional support and so many benefits outside of rest, which is what we’re talking about now. But so many benefits in so many different ways.

P: Yep, definitely.

M: So keep searching for your tribe if you haven’t yet found those people and make sure you spend the time because it takes a good 2 to 3 years to make that deep friendship and time and effort over time to do that.

P: Yep, mmm.

M: So don’t give up too early on people either. But keep looking, because the benefits when you find your tribe are amazing.

M: Number six-

P: Last one.

M: – is social rest.

P: Oh, missed that one.

M: And this one is big for me.

P: Mmm.

M: So if you’re an introvert. Social rest is so important and you’ll crave it and fight for it and hopefully protect it as much as you can, fight for it. And this is really about getting away from negative people and spending time with people who renew your energy rather than take it. And in a work environment, when things are stressful, a lot of the time we can spend 40 hours a week or more around people that we’d rather not prefer to spend time with, and oftentimes around people who are negative.

P: Yeah, it’s a hard one, but it’s really important.

M: All right. Now you can take us to the end.

P: Now I can do the last one.

M: Number seven.

P: I can drive it through the end, I’m the finisher. Spiritual rest, the ability to connect beyond physical and mental and feel a deep sense of belonging, love, acceptance and purpose. It just rounds it out so beautifully.

M: [vomit noise]

P: Laugh! Marie just threw up a little bit in her mouth.

M: Laugh, eeuggh.

P: It’s about finding something bigger than you, and we talked about this again about in terms of awe and inspiration. It’s finding a process of connecting with something that’s beyond. That takes your focus out of your issues, your life, Mrs. Blogs down the road who keeps throwing her rubbish in your flower bed or whatever, and looking for some awe and inspiration on a different level perhaps.

M: Is that happening to you? Someone throwing their garbage in your flower bed? Laugh.

P: No, I was actually thinking about my mother, laugh.

M: Is she throwing rubbish in someone’s flower bed?

P: No, someone’s been throwing rubbish in hers.

M: Oh dear!

P: And apparently some in the rose bushes. Apparently or alleged, laugh.

M: Geez, and she’s out in the country!

P: Yeah, she’s not far from you.

M & P: Laugh.

P: Anyway.

M: So spiritual rest, I think for me I get from helping others.

P: Mmm, interesting.

M: That, for me is a really easy one to tick off. I get that good, warm and fuzzy feeling, when I go donate blood. Or if I coach volleyball or you know there’s a whole range of things for me that make me feel I’m giving back to society and people around me and to my community, and that’s really important to me.

P: Mmm.

M: And again, it doesn’t have to be religious. A lot of people jump straight to religion, and that’s what turns them off, exploring this element of rest.

P: Mmm.

M: So, there are other ways that you can feel connected to community or to nature or the world around you. It’s just about finding what works for you.

P: Oh, lovely. So, it’s not all about sleep? Laugh!

M: No. So, physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social and spiritual. And we’ll finish up by letting you know that Dr Dalton-Smith Saundra Dalton-Smith has a free rest quiz on her website that you can complete.

P: Ooh, homework! Yay.

M: Laugh.  

P: Audience participation, yippee!

M: And if you do the quiz, you can get a bunch of feedback into areas that you might be able to improve on. So, her website is Dr Dalton-Smith, d r d a l t o n s m I t h . com. Really simple. I think I’ve got some rest I need to maybe address in my hectic life at the moment.

P: Laugh, we could probably all do that. So, get some rest people.

M: And stay happy. We’ll see you in a week.

P: Bye.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: emotionalhealth, happiness, mentalhealth, Rest

From Languishing to Flourishing (E70)

07/06/2021 by Marie

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about how to go from languishing to flourishing in our super busy, stressful and complicated world.

Show notes

During the podcast Pete talks about a segment he heard on Triple J by Dr. Karl Kruszelnicki.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: And we’re back.

P: Howdy, howdy, howdy!

M: Hi, hi!

P: Laugh. So, I’d like to start off the episode this week Marie with an acknowledgment of country.

M: Aww.

P: It’s reconciliation week this week in Australia, and for those of you who aren’t aware reconciliation week in Australia is about our shared history. Acknowledging our first Nations peoples, acknowledging the shared history that we have [and] addressing some of the issues that have come out of the acknowledgement that shared history in terms of the things that have happened and how we can move forward in a reconciliation format.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: If I could speak our native language, I’d do it but I’m not going to insult our first nations people by attempting that.

M: Laugh.

P: I was thinking about it in terms of a happiness scale, and this is one of those things that you can get involved with, which is going to bring more happiness and more joy into your life. This is an opportunity to go and do something and be involved in a community endeavour.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And we know, and we’ve talked about how volunteering your time and taking part in ethical actions can sometimes bring about good feelings. And those good feelings are sustainable. Going along to a local ceremony or going along to an event showing your support is one way of doing an ethical thing which is going to give you back tenfold in terms of what you put in.

M: Absolutely. And so I would like to pay my respects to elders past, present and emerging, and we live here in Sydney in the Eora nation. So, I did know that. Thank you for springing this on me!

P & M: Laughter.

M: But there are some great activities you can do, and the other thing we talked about is novelty and bringing novelty into your life.

P: Mmm.

M: We haven’t really explored our indigenous history. There are so many fabulous things you can do, particularly around Sydney here.

P: Mmm.

M: We did a wonderful tour through the rocks area and learned about how our ancestors ate and the fish and the ways that they communicated with other tribes that came through and to tell them what was poisonous and what was not.

P: Yep.

M: And learn about the plants and the agriculture and horticulture and all of that …culture.

P & M: Laugh!

M: Not my area of expertise, just throwing that out there!

P: Laugh.

M: Alright, and how they lived as well. And it was a fascinating walk-through modern-day Sydney with learning about past culture.

P: Mmm. There was a wonderful programme I heard this morning on JJJ which is a local youth National Broadcasting Channel, Radio Channel in Australia. Dr. Karl, who most people will know.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Karl Stefanovic.. not Stefanovic. What was his name?

M: Uh, I don’t know. Dr. Karl.

P: I can’t remember, laugh.

M: Does anyone even know their last name?

P: Laugh! Anyway they had a couple of First Nations People on the program this week and one of them was an astronomer who looks at the stars through an indigenous lens.

M: Aww, I love it.

P: And I though, oh that would be really cool, but unfortunately I had to go and do an exam.

M: Oh.

P: Listening to those sort of things or going and experiencing some of the fantastic performances and celebrations that are around and just choosing to be part of that.

M: Mmm.

P: It’s a good way to bring happiness and joy.

M: Absolutely, well thank you for bringing that up.

P: That’s alright, [Super excited voice] what are we talking about this week, Marie?

M: Laugh! We are talking about a really hot topic –

P: Oooh, I like a hot topic!

M: Yes, everyone’s talking about languishing,

P: Oh!

M: and what it is to languish.

P: Oh, I feel like I need to repose in a pool with a gin and tonic.

M: Mmm hmm.

M: So last year, or maybe the year before flourishing, flourishing and thriving were the buzzwords in positive psychology, particularly Arianna Huffington, launched her website Thrive and it’s all about living your best life.

P: Mmm. Now flourishing post covid or during covid we’re still in covid, let’s be honest and sorry for all you Melbourne people down there who are very much still in covid and in the lock down Flourishing is a word that’s come out in the last year to mean just kind of surviving, just living.

P: Oh, really!

M: Uh, not flourishing, languishing!

P: Oh, ok right. I was just gonna say [flourishing] has been dumbed down, laugh.

M: And really is reflected in the fact that in the past year, a lot of us have just been.

P: Existed.

M: You know, I am.

P: Yeah.

M: Yeah, exactly, exactly. So we’re talking about how to get from languishing to flourishing.

P: Flourishing! It just makes you want to sing “Laaaaaa.”

M: And I love that the study that we’re looking at today came from an Aussie!

P: Laugh! Oh, I’ve got to do this haven’t I?

M: You do and how do you pronounce Geraldine’s last name?

P: Geraldine Przybylko. She’s Polish by the look of it.

M: In Australia, yes.

P: So, Geraldine I hope I got that right.

M: Laugh. Ah, yep. It was too much for me, I say that with all the respect in the world.

P: Laugh.

M: Her and her colleagues have just published a new study in the journal of Positive Psychology, which suggests that happiness comes with practise, which we’ve said quite a few times on our show.

P: Yeah.

M: And that you’ve got to put work into being happy. So if you want to go from languishing to flourishing, you’ve got to put in the work.

P: Do the work people. It’s like wanting to play an instrument or be a good sports person and only reading the books or listening on the podcast not actually getting out practising.

P & M: Laughter!

M: And happiness is like that. You can’t just read a book about volleyball and not ever go into a gym and play.

P: Laugh.

M: And unfortunately, a lot of people are buying self-help books and are doing that reading and coming out all inspired, and they’re wondering why they’re not happy three week later.

P: Yeah.

M: So, this study is actually looking at what we need to do, to go from languishing to flourishing.

P: And they’re talking about the combination of two different aspects. One of positive psychology, but combined with lifestyle medicine.

M: Yes.

P: What is the lifestyle medicine Marie?

M: Things like eating well, getting enough sleep. All the things your doctor tells you to do.

P: Or your allied Health Professional?

M: Yes, and positive psychology adds in the positive affirmations.

P: The mental aspect of lifestyle medicine, would you say?

M: Yeah. Mental and emotional.

P: Hmm, ok.

M: Yeah. So, adding those two together in a 10 week program showed a 17% increase in happiness or moving from languishing to flourishing.

P: That’s higher than interest rates in the eighties!

M: Laugh, sure is.

P: Laugh.

M: And not only that, up to 12 weeks afterwards, people were still showing higher happiness levels.

P: So, it’s lasting change.

M: Yes.

P: Ah, ok.

M: It is 10 weeks will give you at least another 10 weeks after that of change.

P: Makes sense though, because in anything that you’re trying to do in terms of habit forming if you’re going to do 10 weeks, you’ve set the practise in motion and you’ve got the habit formed by 10 weeks.

M: Well, the interesting thing about this – I’d say yes, definitely – But they did 10 different things over 10 weeks.

P: Mmm.

M: So, they weren’t setting habits necessarily. So, they did 10 different things over 10 different weeks and combined all of those 10 things, added to people’s happiness or flourishing levels.

P: Oh! So how does one measure our flourishing level?

M: Well, why don’t you tell me?

P & M: Laugh.

P: Well, it’s funny because when I first read this, I went and put my cynic hat on.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: The flourishing scale… And the first thing that came into my mind was ‘how can you rate flourishing scale because it’s very subjective, like pain. My pain is different to your pain.’

M: They have a scale for pain too! And actually, Jo and Francis, when I was in hospital used to hold up the scale to me in the morning.

P: Laughter! But the nature of pain is very subjective, so in terms of comparing data, it’s very difficult.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, what they’ve done to maybe get past that subjective measure is they’ve created 10 different measures of flourishing, they start with:

Most days I feel a sense of accomplishment from what I do.

M: That’s engagement with your life.

P: Ok yep, next one is:

In the past week I felt calm and peaceful.

M: Again, that’s a measure of not feeling manic and like a lot of people do in today’s day and age.

P: Mmm hmm.

I love learning new things.

M: This would go along with the growth mindset, which has been proven to make people happier than people who don’t have growth mindset. Yep, love it.

P: Yeah.

I generally feel that what I do in my life is valuable and worthwhile.

M: Purpose, yep purpose we know that one.

P: Laugh.

Always optimistic about my future.

M: Always is a strong word, isn’t it?

P: Laugh, yeah. Well, I don’t know anyone who’s always [optimistic].

M: We’re reading these on a scale right? So perhaps for this one a 7 is good.

P: Yeah.

Taking all things together, how happy would you say you are?

There are people in my life who really care about me.

M & P: Social connection, laugh.

P: We know you love that one, Muz.

When things go wrong in my life it generally does not take me a long time to get back to normal.

P: Resilience!

M: This is resilience, Pete!

P: Laugh. Geez, I’m getting good at this, I only went over this today.

M: Look at us, we know what we’re talking about!

P & M: Laughter!

P: [gunshot noises] Pew, pew, pew!

M: That’s a bit of a surprise, research that we’ve actually talked about!

P: Laughter, ok last two:

In general, I feel very positive about myself.

P: Projection.

M: There’s something Aussie and cynical in me that’s like ‘stop being so arrogant!’

P & M: Laugh.

P: And the last one:

In the past week, I had a lot of energy.

M: [Lack of energy] Is an early sign for depression. Just feeling really lacklustre and not feeling like wanting to do anything.

P: It’s one of the markers for leading to different conditions.

M: Interesting.

P: So, asking yourself those questions is a really good way to measure your flourishing. And I guess you would collate the points score together and measure it out of 100 see where you’re sitting. So, if you are 66 okay, my flourishing level is above average, above 50.

M: I don’t think that you would compare it average. I think the key point there is subjective happiness like you said before happiness is subjective. So, you start at 66 which is neither good nor bad.

P: Ok, yep.

M: And after the end, have you gone up?

P: Oh, ok.

M: You know, is your level at 88?

P: Just like a remedial exercise program, laugh.

M: And after 10 weeks if you continue and do another 10 weeks of it do you get more gain?

P: Aahhh, that would be interesting. Or to do it spasmodically. Spasmodically?

M: Laugh.

P: Periodically, like throughout year at different points or a three-monthly exercise. We can re-visit our goals once a year, maybe we could revisit our flourishing level once a quarter, when do your tax return, laugh.

M: And you know what, they say you can’t prove what you don’t measure.

P: Mmm, I agree.

M: And I think it needs to be something that we’re more systemic, systematic and put more attention towards.

P: And this is a really, easy tool to do that. It’s a really easy way to come up with a measurement without going ‘Oh, where do I rate myself today?’ This is just answering questions off the cuff.

M: Yep, absolutely. So, let’s move to the activities because that’s really where it’s interesting, I think.

P: Ok.

M: What can you put in practise that is going to tangibly improve your happiness levels? And these 10 things, so one a week is what they did, they had a daily challenge and a weekly challenge.

P: Ok.

M: So every day there was something little. And then over the week they had a lot more, like bigger things, that they needed to do. So, week one – really, really easy, Speak positively.

P: Ahh, yeah, the inner voice. Change the inner voice.

M: Yes, and now the first one, if you’re not someone who likes to look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful, wonderful, smart, and intelligent –

P: Laugh.

M: – this might make you breathe a sigh of relief; It is offering a genuine compliment. So once a day for a week offer a genuine compliment to someone else.

P: That’s pretty easy to do, yeah.

M: It is, as long as you focus on doing it, you remember to do it.

P: Yeah.

M: Put it in the diary, put a reminder in your phone, whatever it is and then make sure that you do it. And then the weekly challenge was memorize an inspirational text or saying.

P: I love that.

M: Absolutely and I love that, because when was the last time you actually sat down and memorised text?

P: All the time, laugh!

M: Memorized?

P: Yeah.

M: So, you can quote it back later?

P: Yeah.

M: I’m so 21st century brain, I consume so much and retain and remember so little, laugh.

P: Yeah, right-o ok.

M: To be really honest.

P: That’s possibly something I have done a lot of through my positive psychology training, remembering things that I can pull out of a hat or let inspire you.  

M: It’s about mindfulness in a way. It’s really connecting deeply with something in the moment that’s, that’s beautiful and ironic that I don’t do it more often, laugh.

P: It was also part of my blog, I used to always end with a quote.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, I had that in there, that I had a weekly task of finding a quote. You do that.

M: I have a quote for my weekly newsletter, do I remember them?

P & M: No, laugh!

M: I love them in the moment.

P & M: Laugh.

M: But I don’t commit them to memory because it’s about going that next step.

P: Yep.

M: So, that was week one. Week two, this one’s for you, Pete.

P: Oh.

M: Move dynamically.

P: Woo hoo! Dance, dance, dance.

M: Yes.

P: Dance naked around the kitchen! It’s really fun! Just do it when your flatmate’s not coming home from volleyball.

M: Laugh, sorry Charlie.

P: Laugh!

M: So, for one week only, you’re going to really commit to some exercise. So, they say 30 minutes of moderate exercise or 10,000 steps.

P: Yeah.

M: Yeah, we do that every single day for one week. And then the weekly challenge is really quite easy. So on one of those days, do 20 minutes of guided resistance exercise, that’s like weights.

P: Yeah, Thera-bands, body-weight work, some gymnastics, handstands!

M: All right. Week three – Immerse in an uplifting natural environment.

P: Aahhh, forest bathing!

M: Get out into nature.

P: Forest bathing, it’s a thing.

M: 30 minutes a day. Essentially, what they’re asking is for 10 weeks, put 30 minutes aside to be happier.

P: Yes.

M: So 30 minutes a day, you know, out near a lake, the beach, the mountains.

P: Find a local park, there’s so many of them around in Sydney.

M: Yep or go to the beach. And then the weekly challenges to experience a sunrise.

P: Oooh, that’s a hard one.

M: It sure is.

P: Laugh! Mind you I’ve been getting up really early.

M: Eeuggh, sunrise early?

P: Yeah.

M: It’s the middle of winter.

P: Yeah, I know, it’s not hard ‘cause it’s later, laugh.

M: …Okay, all right. Week four – Immerse in a positive social environment.

P: Mmm.

M: So daily, do something intentional, to show you care.

P: Ok.

M: And weekly, this one’s a good one, forgive someone who’s hurt you.

P: Oh, that’s opening up a can of worms.

M: Yeah, and we’ve spoken about forgiveness before. Forgiveness is not about that person.

P: Mmm.

M: It’s about you letting go of things and your anger.

P: Yeah, and it’s not about you saying ‘I forgive you.’ It’s just the action and you don’t have to express it.

M: Yep.

P: I think that’s what people fear, ‘I simply can’t do it!’

M: No, no, no, you never have to talk to them again.

P: Yeah.

M: And you don’t have to approve of their behaviour, or anything like that. It’s about you.

P: Yeah.

M: Alright, week five – Look to the positive. So spend 15 minutes reflecting on three things that went well everyday.

P: Oooh.

M: That’s gratitude.

P: Yep.

M: We talked about that before and then weekly, write a letter of gratitude to someone and share it with them.

P: Aww.

M: Again, we’ve spoken about the power of that well.

P: Yep.

M: Week six – Eat nutritiously.

P: Yeah, we know this works.

M: Oh, this is my downfall.

P: Gasp!

M: Laugh! Eat eight servings of plant based food a day.

P: Yes.

M: it’s really… You’re not going to be hungry.

P: No.

M: Eight servings of plant-based food, unless your choosing lettuce each time.

P: Laugh, even lettuce will fill you up.

M: Absolutely. You know you can definitely feel full off that.

P: Yep.

M: And then the weekly challenge is to prepare a high fibre, plant based meal with one or more friends.

P: Yes!

M: Make it social.

P: Sook socially, it’s good fun.

M: It’s very, the weekly challenge is very 21st century, isn’t it?

P: Mmm.

M: Plant based, that wasn’t even a thing 20 years ago.

P: Yeah, definitely.

M: So, we’re definitely not only doing what’s better for our bodies, but being environmentally conscious about it.

P: Laugh.

M: Okay, Week seven – Rest – sleep.

P: Sleep, sleep more! So, many studies done about this.

M: Yes.

P: And it always comes up. If we don’t rest, we don’t regenerate.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And one hour sleep deprivation is enough to downgrade your immune system by 50%.

M: Look at you and your course knowledge.

P: Laugh.

M: Or stats, that you remember.

P: Laugh.

M: So, this is about committing to spending eight hours in bed without a device.

P: Mmm.

M: It doesn’t count if you’re watching cat videos.

P: The better way is to plug it into a wall socket away from you bed.

M: Yep.

P: Put it in another room and make your room device free.

M: Or go to bed early, and so I read on my device, I know it’s not good, and then I’ll put it away, but I’m very good at getting my eight hours of sleep. I’m a cranky –

P: Laugh!

M: – person if I don’t. And then the weekly challenge to add to that was to spend an evening by firelight.

P: Oh, oh, candle-light, does that work?

M: Yes.

P: Alright, that’s easy.

M: Alright, week eight, I’m loving seven and eight, these are right up my alley. Week eight is –

Rest – from stress.

P: Oh.

M: So your daily challenges is to spend 15 minutes in a quiet place, relaxing and being mindful of your surroundings.

P: Ah, a bit of meditation time.

M: Yes.

P: Go, sit under a tree, hear the birdies tweeting. Sit in church, go and sit in a church, you don’t have to pray. Churches are great for that, they’re wonderful places –

M: They’re really beautiful.  

P: – and they’re quite, great to sit in and be awed and inspired.

M: Yep. And then the weekly challenge for that one is to take a day off work and have a digital Sabbath.

P: Mmm.

M: So, so offline for 24 hours to recharge.

P: Yeah, escape.

M: So, I guess if you can, you know, go camping or find somewhere just quiet and away from all your stresses and be quiet for a day.

P: Mmm, mmm.

M: All right, keep going. Number nine is – Serving others. So, your daily challenge is to perform a random act of kindness.

P: Laughter! Done.

M: Mmm hmm. And your weekly challenge is to use your signature strength to perform an act of service, so I don’t think we’ve actually covered signature strengths yet.

P: Not yet.

M: But the VIA [Values In Action] signature strength test [The VIA Character Strengths Survey], so, that’s from Penn University in the States, it’s a really good way to just understand yourself better.

P: Hmm.

M: And the thinking used to be in the corporate world in the nineties and early two thousand’s that you wanted to understand your strengths and weaknesses and work on your weaknesses so that you were a well-rounded human-being.

P: Yeah, yeah,

M: The thinking nowadays is screw that –

P: Laugh.

M: if you’re not good at it don’t bother!

P: Laughter!

M: Unless it’s really holding you back.

P: Yeah.

M: And to really focus in on what your strengths are and double down on that.

P: Oh, ok.

M: If that’s what you’re good at, go do that!

P: Yeah.

M: And make sure that that’s part of your job.

P: Well, that taps into purpose as-well doesn’t it? And that concept of Ikigai, where you’re doing something you’re passionate about that you’re good at.

M: Passionate about, yeah. Because we’re normally not passionate about stuff that we don’t… that we’re not good at.

P: Mmm. Yeah, no, true.

M: So this is, again VIA strengths assessment, and you can go do that for free online and just get a better understanding what your strengths are.

P: Mmm.

M: And last one, week 10, the question is – What does it take to flourish? So your daily challenge is continue the challenges that you found to be helpful.

P: Ok.

M: And your weekly challenge is to continue the challenges that you found to be helpful.

P: Laughter!

M: It’s a bit of a cheat week, isn’t it? Laugh.

P: Yeah, it’s a week off. Laugh, ah we’ll give you a break!

M: So, I guess before we wrap up. The whole point of talking about this in today’s episode is to say that we talk about so many of these things every week, don’t we?

P: Mmm, yeah.

M: But just like exercising or learning an instrument, we can’t just talk about it and we can’t just listen to a podcast.

P: Mmm.

M: You’ve actually got to put this stuff into the practise.

P: Yep.

M: And if you do, this latest study here shows that you can improve your happiness or move away from languishing and more towards flourishing and loving life by up to 17%.

P: Yep, that’s a decent figure.

M: Sure is. Who wouldn’t want to be 17 percent happier?

P: Definitely.

M: I think Dan Harris, wrote a book 10% Happier.

So, this is like kicking you ass down, laugh.

P: Hey, we’re one up! Laugh! Throw that challenge glove down!

M & P: Laugh!

M: Absolutely, well on that note we’ll end for the week.

P: Enjoy your tasks people.

M: Wishing you a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Flourishing, gratitude, happiness, kindness, purpose, Rest

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