• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Unapologetically Marie

Writer, podcaster, mental health advocate

  • Home
  • Happiness Blog
  • Podcast
  • Books
  • Speaking
  • About
Home » resilience » Page 7

resilience

10 Best Personal Development Podcasts To Motivate And Inspire You

10/06/2020 by Marie

We’ve done the work to find the best personal development podcasts to help you bring more happiness and inspiration into your life.

Have you ever wondered why some people are happier than others? Or why some people seem to succeed at everything they try? Or how some people find the motivation to be constantly achieving their dreams?

It turns out you’re not alone, as the millions of listeners to the below podcasts can attest. If you need a bit of motivation, inspiration or happiness in your life, subscribe to the below 10 best personal development podcasts to motivate and inspire you.

10 Best Personal Development Podcasts to Motivate and Inspire You

#1 Happier

Happier is hosted by happiness and habits expert Gretchen Rubin and her sister Elizabeth Craft. With more than 95 million downloads, they’re definitely doing something right. In each episode, they share happiness hacks and advice that can easily be incorporated in your life. Gretchen shares a lot of the tips she’s learned over the years. She has also written about them in her bestselling books The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies.

#2 Good Life Project

Good Life Project, hosted by Jonathan Fields, is about helping you to live a better life (as the name suggests). Every week, he shares inspirational, intimate and unfiltered conversations aimed at helping you on your quest to live a more meaningful, connected and vital life.

#3 Happiness for Cynics

Happiness for Cynics, hosted by best friends Marie and Pete, who have a lot of laughs as they present the latest research and case studies on happiness, with a heavy dose of cynicism. Marie (the cynic) and the always happy Pete are a lot of fun to listen to and really make you think about practical and research-backed ways you can lead a happier life.

#4 Design Your Dream Life

Design Your Dream Life, hosted by personal development blogger and life coach, Natalie Bacon. The podcast is for women who want to reignite their lives, who want more fulfilment, more money, and more freedom. Natalie shares lessons on how to master your mindset, emotions, self-love, relationships, problems, overwhelm. She also focuses on productivity, time management, goal setting and habits.

#5 The Life Coach School Podcast

The Life Coach School Podcast, hosted by Brooke Castillo, owner of the Life Coach School, where she trains and certifies life coaches. Her podcast focuses on learning to manage your brain and solve any problem in your life. It’s about helping you use your mind to make your dreams come true.

#6 Ten Percent Happier

10% Happier, hosted by ABC News Anchor Dan Harris, who famously has a panic attack on live TV while hosting Good Morning America. On 10% Happier, Dan interviews celebrities and academics on meditation and life. He looks for an answer to the question: Can you be an ambitious person and still strive for enlightenment?

#7 Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins is without a doubt one of the biggest names in personal development. His motivational podcast is a hub where he shares all of that amazing knowledge. In his podcast, Tony shares proven strategies and tactics for achieving massive results in your business, relationships, health, and finances. Tony has reached more than 50 million people from over 100 countries to create meaningful change in their lives.

#8 The School of Greatness

The School of Greatness is a wonderful podcast from the best-selling author and entrepreneur Lewis Howes. Since its launch in 2013, the podcast has grown to be one of the top-ranked business and self-development podcasts in iTunes. It regularly appears in the Top 50 and with more than 4 million downloads a month. Episodes range from interviews with incredible world-class game changers in entrepreneurship, health, athletics, mindset, and relationships, to solo rounds with the host, Lewis Howes and the 5 Minute Friday format.

#9 The Science of Happiness

The Science of Happiness, hosted by award-winning psychologist Dacher Keltner and co-produced by PRX and UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. They look at what it takes to live a happier life and give listeners research-tested strategies that you can put into practice today.

#10 The Tim Ferris Show

The Tim Ferriss Show is often the #1 business podcast on all of Apple Podcasts. It has ranked #1 out of 500,000+ podcasts on many occasions and has now surpassed 400M downloads. In each episode, Tim deconstructs world-class performers from eclectic areas (investing, sports, business, art, etc.) to extract the tactics, tools, and routines you can use. This includes favourite books, morning routines, exercise habits, time-management tricks, and more.

Got a favourite podcast we didn’t include? Tell us about it in the comments!


Don’t forget to subscribe for our monthly newsletter for more tips, freebies and subscriber-only content!

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: best life, change, curiosity, education, happiness, happy, inspiration, mastery, podcast, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction

Wellbeing and Your Environment with Lee Chambers (E21)

08/06/2020 by Marie

Happiness for Cynics Podcast

This week, we interview Environmental Psychologist and Wellbeing Consultant, Lee Chambers. He helps companies increase productivity, motivation and innovation by applying the latest research from psychology, neuroscience and physiology to the workplace. His philosophy comes from his own challenges and business journey, having had mental health struggles, being made redundant, losing the ability to walk, and yet despite all the challenges he has gained more clarity and managed to harness elements of the resilience bounce. 

About Lee Chambers

Lee Chambers – Environmental Psychologist, Wellbeing Consultant and Founder of Essentialise Workplace Wellbeing

Lee Chambers is a Wellbeing Consultant, Workshop Facilitator and Sleep Specialist. Having spent the last 10 years focusing on wellbeing and performance in the local government, corporate organisations, and in elite sports, he has now brought his experience and qualifications with the aim to impact the wellbeing of thousands of individuals and businesses.

Lee has qualifications in Performance Nutrition, Strength and Conditioning Coaching, and Advanced Sleep Consultancy, and he delivers multi-discplinary workshops focused on improving performance and productivity through increasing employee wellbeing. This is an issue very close to his heart, as after losing the ability to walk in 2014 due to autoimmune arthritis, he has battled back to achieve a positive health outcome, and is now on the pathway to become medication free. He holds an MSc in Environmental Psychology, with a focus on human interaction with workplaces and natural environments.

He also presents the Health and Wellbeing show on Ribble FM Radio, and speaks in Educational establishments about his varied career path, health challenges and having a resilient mindset.

Based in Preston in the North of the UK, Lee is currently working with business owners and employee teams to create culture change, wellbeing strategies and champions. He is a father of 2, coaches a disability football team, and enjoys eating good food with good friends. He is currently writing his first book, “How To Conquer Anything”, which will be released in 2020.

  • Download Lee’s Latest Book Here!: https://www.essentialise.co.uk/ebook
  • Lee’s Consultancy: https://leechambers.org
  • Twitter: @essentialise
  • Facebook/Instagram: @essentialisecoach
  • Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-chambers-278a6518a/
  • Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/leechambersessentialise

Transcript

M: You’re listening to the podcast happiness for cynics. I’m Marie Skelton, a writer and change and transformation specialist, and my co-host is Peter Furness. Peter?

P: Hi there. I’m Peter Furness, and I’m a remedial therapist, ex professional dancer and happiness aficionado. Each week we will bring to you the latest news of research in the world of positive psychology, otherwise known as happiness.

M: This week we have a special guest who’s here to talk to us about well-being and your environment.

[Happy Music]

M: Lee Chambers is an environmental psychologist and wellbeing consultant. He helps corporations increase productivity, motivation and innovation by applying the latest research from psychology, neuroscience and physiology. His philosophy comes from his own challenges and business journey, having had mental health struggles, being made redundant, losing the ability to walk. And yet, despite all the challenges, he’s gained more clarity and managed to harness elements of the resilience bounce.

M: Hi Lee, thanks for joining us today on happiness for cynics. I’m so excited to have you on the show.

Lee: It’s a pleasure to be on today, Marie.

M: What a story! We touched a little bit on it in the intro, but can you start by delving a little deeper into your background and journey and explain to us what you do.

Lee: Oh, yeah, I’ll try and condense it into a nice, digestible form. So, yeah, I grew up as one of three brothers. We were always fed, watered and had a roof over our heads. We didn’t have a typically fancy life. But what we had, what you could say was all our basic needs. I was the first one in my family to go to university and that again was seen is quite achievement by my parents, and they really pushed me in that direction. I then went into corporate finance and I, very quickly after six months, found myself in the middle of the credit crunch, so people above me started to be made redundant. But only a week later I was pulled in and made redundant myself.

So that really did change my direction and that led me on a path which took me through numerous jobs and brought in a video game business. So I went to the local government and then worked helping unemployed people to find direction, sharpen their interview skills, get more inner confidence and then go on and get themselves a new job on. Then I worked in elite sports which again showed me the cutting edge of performance. How much money and experimental elements I used at that level, both physiologically and psychologically also made me think, if this money and effort and time was spent on the ordinary person, how many millions of people it could help. And at that point in my life, I lost the ability to walk [due to] illness over the course of a week. Completely changed my world view.

M: So within a week you went from being completely healthy and normal to not being able to walk.

Lee: Yeah, So it was my 29th birthday. I was fully independent, fully mobile, playing team spots and doing pretty much whatever I wanted. My son was 18 months old, wife for six months pregnant, and all of a sudden I went from fully independent to not able to drive myself not able to feed myself properly and it was a, it was a major challenge. And I look back now and realise if it wasn’t for the people around me and the position I was in and I was lucky enough to, while I lost my job. I still was able to run the business, because a lot of it was digital.

What kind of happened is at first I was like, Why me? This seems really unfortunate. Chronic disease? I’m not even 30. I’ve looked after myself, that very quickly catalysed into well, you’ve been incredibly ungrateful for your mobility all these years. In fact, you’ve been incredibly ungrateful for all the people that are now caring for you. You’ve been incredibly, you’ve been so ungrateful for the simple fact that you grew up in the first world had a pleasant childhood on all these opportunities. This free education, all these different, all these different jobs that you’ve had all these different careers, you’ve had that, you’ve had the ability and the freedom to start up a business, which is now financing you through these difficult times and just really change my world view everything.

I need to be more grateful. But I also need to be resilient have a mind set and be proactive. Attack this disease as much as it’s attacking my body and that has lead me through to where I am today; helping people, so increase the health outcomes, increase the happiness in the workplace and really just to build a world where we’re all a bit happier and spread that happiness between each other and we go into work happy on we leave work happy.

M: That’s a huge ask, though, isn’t it? [Laugh]

Lee: No, well I see it’s a massive goal that I’ve smashed into so many little pieces. And I can do lots of those little pieces over the course of my lifetime and see if I can get.

M: It is such an inspirational story. I don’t think many people can even imagine what you must have gone through and the struggles that you faced since then. And to see you so proactively and positively attacking the next stage in your life. And what’s next is truly an inspirational storey. So thank you for sharing that with us. What I’m also came to understand now is you’ve taken a whole different direction career wise and started a business called Essentialise. And it says here that you’re an environmental psychologist and you work in regenerative environments. Can you help to explain what it is that that means and what you do with your day?

Lee: Yes, to really kind of explain Environmental Psychology. It’s a relatively new field and you can split it into three, so I have a lot of contemporaries across a lot of different disciplines. But if you split it into three and make it simple and digestible.

There are Environmental Psychologists who deal with urban environments, so buildings, transport, city planning, schools, hospitals.

Then a lot of my contemporary work in our interaction with nature. So how humans interact in natural environments;

And the third subsection of Environmental Psychologists look at environmental behaviours. So, why we see the world the way that we do, why we take sustainability measures, how some people believe climate change is gonna devastate us or some people believe it doesn’t even exist.

I’m looking at how their behaviours and people’s values and really how that then translates into the world and how environmental behaviour could be influenced. So my section is around regenerative environments in sleep and in the workplace. So the principle of regenerative environments is that when you’re in an environment, you have a lot of stresses, a lot of them are sensory, so if you can imagine you’re in an office, it’s noisy, it’s not well lit, there’s pollution coming in from the road. You’re in an environment also where you’ve got mental stresses, so you might not get on with the person sitting next to you, you might struggle with your boss. He’s not very good at communicating, so that kind of builds an atmosphere in the work place. Both physically and psychologically. It’s about looking how we can make the atmosphere more positive. So you leave work as energised as when you went in, as happy as you went in.

M: Mm hmm, and it’s really circular, isn’t it? The more you look after employees, the better they perform for you.

Lee: Definitely. And in some ways, it’s really a hidden performance advantage that isn’t often utilised, but the way the culture’s gradually moving, people are starting to see how important is.

M: Yeah, I heard someone talking a little while ago and they said for too long corporates have broken the employer/employee contract. They’re meant to borrow an employee for 40 hours and then give them back in the same state that they borrowed them in. And for too long they’ve been borrowing them for 50 or 60 hours and giving them back to their families broken. And I thought that’s a really different way of looking at it. And it really shows how we’re evolving our understanding of the role that a corporate can play in looking after employees.

Lee: Yeah, it’s quite interesting though. Because again I’ve got quite a similar analogy within business. So, if you lease a car, you’re expected to return the car in the same condition, minus wear and tear, and wear and tear, we all get physiologically as we live. Obviously, that wear and tear ends up in one day with us passing to the next realm. But if you take your car back and it’s dented it’s scratched, it’s not been looked after inside, you get charged and also the way that companies, especially production companies, building machinery, to be depreciated all the time.

Well, sometimes companies treat employees like a piece of machinery that’s going to depreciate and gradually become obsolete and then they chuck it out. For that same piece of machinery they spend thousands of pounds for thousands of dollars to lubricate that machine over its life. And yet they’re shy to invest in the development of the staff, to even ensure that the wellbeing is kept to a level where they’re able to perform and do the role because they’re the face of the company, they’re the people that quite often would drive in the company themselves and yet you wouldn’t want the person driving your company to not be psychologically or physically well. It doesn’t add up yet it’s so underutilised and finally it’s starting to make that move from humans being a resource to humans being the people.

M: I couldn’t agree more. As someone who’s been through burnout myself in a corporate. I’m a hundred percent aligned with you. What I am still really curious about is the concept of environmental psychology. So for those of us who are new to the field and you mentioned, it is a relatively new field, can you share any surprising or unexpected maybe research your information about your field in general? What does some things that people don’t normally know?

Lee: Yes, I mean, there’s lots of interesting things, and at the moment with Covid[19], strangely, suddenly but interestingly from a scientific perspective, this is like a big experiment that you can’t carry out. You can’t get millions of people across the world to have to isolate in a certain environment and then be able to get that qualitative and quantitative data about how that affects them. So Covid literally is an environment of psychologists dream, because it gives a massive case study and a massive amount of data.

But in many ways, the things that people are not so aware of is just how vital nature is in our regeneration. And as things like Ecotherapy and Attention Restoration Therapy [ART] start to gain traction. They are both cases where we’re given a significant amount of nature exposure, and it actually helps with mild to moderate depression, and it helps with attention deficit disorders. And it’s incredibly powerful to get that at a young age, which is why sometimes you imagine, you know, the outdoor activity centres that take disadvantaged children and go and give them a really powerful dose of nature. Because so many children now live in urban settings, not aware of where the farm animals that they might eat come from, they don’t really link to the understanding of a forest of trees or a field or even sometimes the sea and those [are the] environments where we’re fully ignited from a sensory perspective.

So if you imagine you’re in the forest, you can hear the birds you can smell the flowers, your feet are touching the ground, and you feel that mossy ground and you stood next to a massive oak. And that’s the feel, like a small part of something much, much bigger and the sunlight shines through your eyes and boosting your serotonin production, and it’s just so vital to get outside. And yet, in so many ways, our coming generations spend more time inside than they ever have before. And that is out in the western world people are more concerned about safety, about the increasing vehicles and children not being helped to be dependent and search, go and explore, go on an adventure in the same way that even my generation was 30 years ago and that, in its own way, is a challenge.

But it’s helping people link back and I kind of feel that what Covid has done, especially in the countries where you’ve got you know, your one period of exercise. These people have been walking and finding green spaces only a few minutes away from the house, but they had never taken the time from their busy life to go and explore and finding those foot paths and then going, really enjoying themselves and get themselves out, and we’re only really grateful for the environments we have access to when they’re taken away. In the same way that I was so ungrateful for my ability to walk until I lost it. We are not very good at preventing but we are very, very agile in a crisis.

M: It’s human nature I think. I have a similar story, I had an accident 2017 and couldn’t walk for a long time. And it truly, and there is a whole body of psychological research into the, what happens after you’ve been through a major trauma as well.

So, there is definitely what you mentioned there about going out into nature, is there any research about bringing nature indoors? Is there any benefit to having more plants in your indoor space as well? Or water features? Does that help at all? Or do you really have to get out and make an activity of it.

Lee: Yeah, so by incorporating natural elements into the design of offices and houses, it does increase your well-being, and it does bolster your ability to, you know, recover from anxiety and stress. It doesn’t confer the whole benefit that being outside in nature does because it’s not a full sensory experience. However, if you have a good number of house plants they don’t offer you that natural landscape.

We can see more shades of green than any other colour and that’s due not only to our evolutionary biology but where green lies on the spectrum and how our pupils and eyes work. But we have that affinity for natural environment. So if you have a room where you have house plants, you have items made out of natural materials that have a feel on a texture, a grounding. If you say have a landscape picture on the wall, even those really small elements all the time because you’re continually exposed to them you become slightly regenerative to your health.

And then you look at house plants and how much they clean certain pollutants out of the air it’s the natural purifiers and also the fact that you have to mindfully look after them, water them, make sure and in many ways what we do is we represent and we anchor into the fact that they grow as we grow. It’s something that’s only kind of starting to be in research now. But it’s our understanding that actually, as the world revolves around you and moves, if you could make a bit of progress and the things around you are making a bit of progress it actually compounds in your mind to feel like you’re actually generating that forward momentum. It makes you have more energy to wake up in the morning, and it really does propel people when everything around them is just growing. And that’s something that you won’t see if you have an urban environment, which doesn’t really have any natural features.

M: Yeah, so I was gonna ask you if you had any tips for our listeners about how to make practical changes in their homes or office environments to improve their well being. We just talked about plants, definitely. Is there anything else that you can share the secrets of that will help with well being?

Lee: Yes, I mean probably the most important thing is just to step back and have an awareness about how much your environment plays a role in your well-being and starting to just understand the basics that the stress of our environment, it does affect us.

So when you’re kind of working out actual tips and starting to think ‘Ok, so I’ve got my office, or I’ve got my home office and home offices are great, because you have more design flexibility. You just have to incorporate the elements that you work in, in an environment that was originally designed for something else. But you can start to work on that if you treat it mindfully.

So yeah, it’s kind of looking at, you’re working for roughly eight hours a day and sleeping for eight hours a day. So your workplace environment, your sleep environment, 100 hours over a week, two thirds of your life spent in those environments. So it’s important to look to optimise them. So you’re kind of looking at ways to, because of how we work and we have ultradian rhythms so 98% of ourselves have this smaller clock inside. Obviously we have the circadian rhythm that runs 24 hours a day ultradian rhythms run about 60 to 90 minutes and that allows us to really work deeply for that period. But then we need to have ten to fifteen minutes off, disconnected. So we can reconnect to work effectively again. When we continue to push that, that’s when we get burnt out.

So, what I do in terms of suggesting for offices were actually looking at what the environmental stress is.

First of all Noise.

Are you in the seat that’s next to the main road? Are people buzzing, are cars coming past all day? What we do is while we tune out, it gradually stresses you on a low level, and that builds up over time. Other things to consider are:

Density.

So we need personal space in an office we’re too crammed and that can be an environmental stressor. Yeah, we also need to be close enough to build, to socially connect with people so being sat in an office and being completely bereft of anyone else to speak to, is just as dangerous as being crammed in. So it’s about finding that, find that sweet spot. Some people’s personal space needs are larger than others, and that’s about where you become understanding of what your environmental needs are. Other things to consider are:

Temperature.

You can actually find out where people are comfortable and set them in the in the zone that’s best for them and that in itself is regenerative when they understand; Actually, I want to sit here in 16 degrees. He wants to sit there and 19. He feels comfortable. I feel comfortable. We switch places. We wouldn’t be comfortable. And it’s just about kind of understanding that we can use our thermostats in our houses to also create our workspace that is comfortable for us. And then finally, it’s really looking at things like

Lighting.

So thing is that everyone has their individual lighting need as we get older, our lighting need needs change, but you don’t want to be in that grey room yet you don’t want so much light to come through that it’s blinding you, blinding your screen and natural light is always gonna be better than artificial light. But artificial light can be and is increasingly becoming a little bit less invasive than it used to be in the old fluorescent strips, so you can get creative with that. They get that Connection and suddenly they’re more likely to stay, their less likely to go off sick, become more productive, more creative and just happier at work and it spreads.

M: I think that’s, that’s a great place to end with happiness spreading. I’m so upset that we’ve only gone through half the questions that I really wanted to ask you. So we might even invite you back on this show in a little bit to cover some more things if you, If you’re up for it. Before we go, how can people find out a bit more about you?

Lee: So you can visit my website at: leechambers.org, I’m on Instagram @essentialisecoach and Twitter @essentialise

M: Thank you. I appreciate your time and have a good evening. Have a good day, actually all the way from England.

Lee: Thanks, it’s been a pleasure Marie.

[Happy Exit Music]

Related content: Listen to our Podcast: Designing Happy Cities (E19) and Podcast: Enabling Happy Cities (E20)

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: environmental psychology, Lee Chambers, mental health, podcast, resilience, wellbeing

Your 6 Step Social Media Detox (and why you Need one NOW)

27/05/2020 by Marie

Spending too much time in self-isolation and feeling the negative effects? You need a social media detox!

Do the things you like instead of liking things others are doing!

Have you found yourself turning to social media to while away the long hours of Covid lockdown? Are you noticing some negative effects? If so, you may need a social media detox.

Even before Covid, social media was well ingrained in most societies around the world. In Australia, as of January 2019 there were 18 million active users of social media websites (69% of the population). Facebook is the most popular social media platform, with ~16 million monthly users of the website. In the U. S., about 70 percent of adults say they use Facebook and YouTube, while Instagram and Snapchat are growing in popularity among 18-24 year-olds.

Social media can be an important part of modern life, but unfortunately, the research also tells us that it can also be destructive to our mental wellbeing. Many studies have linked excessive social media use to increased depression, anxiety, loneliness, sleeplessness, and many other mental health issues.

So, what should you do if you feel that your social media use is not good for your mental health? What if you’re spending too much time on social media?

Start With Self-Reflection

To begin with, take the time for some self-reflection. Grab a notepad and each day for a week, reflect on your social media habits.

Evaluate how social media makes you feel and how it impacts your life.

  • Is it negatively impacting your mental wellness?
  • How about your productivity and creativity?
  • Is it taking time away from the activities that make you happy?
  • Is it making you feel sad, jealous or alone?

Write down your thoughts for a week. After some reflection, if you identify any negative effects that your social media use has had on your life, then you might want to consider a social media break. Here are your next steps…

6 Steps For a Successful Social Media Detox

1. Find a social media detox buddy: You’re more likely to complete the detox (or any new habit for that matter) if you have a friend to do the detox with. Agree on how long you’ll detox for – maybe try a week to start with and set the start date. Set a date with your friend, and touch base with each other regularly to check in during your detox.

2. Stop using your phone as an alarm: Get a real alarm clock and leave your phone away from your bed. This should stop you reaching for it first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

3. Be OK with being bored: The goal here is to take back your time and mindfulness. This means replacing hours of endless scrolling with more fun, but mindful, activities. It also means being present and being ok with being bored in-between tasks, like ad breaks or while waiting for things to happen.

4. Delete your social media apps: If this makes you feel anxious remember that this is only temporary, you can always download them again at any time. If you just can’t delete them, try moving them to a different screen on your phone. If you want to take it one step further, also limit your news intake to no more than 30 minutes a day!

5. Change your lock–screen: The simple act of having to put in a new and long password will make you think every time you open your phone screen. That can be enough to stop you from mindlessly using social media apps.

6. Start a new project: It’s easier to not miss something if you have something else to grab your attention. So why not start a new project or course.

After Your Social Media Cleanse: How to Bring Social Media Back Into Your Life

At some point, you might wish to bring social media back into your life, which is fair enough, and it’s important to note that there’s nothing inherently wrong with spending time on social media. It’s only when it starts having negative impacts on your life that you should be worried.

When you do bring it back into your life, bring it back slowly and the most important thing is to use it with purpose and intention. This means deliberately setting aside specific timeboxed times in the day to look at your social media. Perhaps it’s on the bus to work or school, for 10-minutes at lunchtime, and for 30 minutes after dinner.

Also, it helps to remove all notifications from your apps. This will help you to not be tempted throughout the day as the phone pings at you.

Remember it’s about you having control over you phone, not your phone having control over you. If you can be mindful, it will help you to ensure you don’t slip back into mindless scrolling.

Good luck!

Related content: Listen to our Podcast: Social Media Detoxing (E15)


Don’t forget to subscribe for our monthly newsletter for more tips, freebies and subscriber-only content!

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: balance, happiness, mental health, mentally strong, resilience, resiliency

11 Ideas For Your Next Mental Health Day

20/05/2020 by Marie

Mental Health day ideas

How To Ask For A Mental Health Day And What To Do When You Get One

Are you feeling stressed or burnout? Do you need to reset and unwind, but are you just too exhausted to think about mental health day ideas? Do you need some inspiration?

The month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month – an annual reminder that 1 in 5 people will face a mental health issue at some point in their lives. It shines a light on mental health and mental illness and raises awareness of the fact that many people struggle day to day with mental health issues. More than that, talking about it helps to normalise it, lessening the stigma and letting people know there is no shame and there is support.

This year, talking about mental health is even more poignant with many people currently experiencing heightened stress, anxiety and fears due to Coronavirus. Not only that but the impacts of the Coronavirus, such as losing your job or being isolated, can compound the issue by adding financial stress and/or deepening feelings of loneliness and guilt, among many others.

Then there are the essential workers and remote workers, the people we are depending on and who are working longer more stressful hours. Not having a job comes with its own stresses, but in today’s environment having a job can be just as stressful. And essential workers have been working at a heightened stress level for weeks now, just to get the job done. And many are starting to feel the effects of burnout. Even before the pandemic hit, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimated that one in four adults will experience burnout in their lives.

Signs You May Need a Mental Health Day

Burnout is a slow progressing state that you get to over time. It’s about working at an unsustainable pace for too long. It can leave you feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, as well as cynical and detached.

Symptoms of burnout include:

  • excessive stress,
  • insomnia,
  • fatigue,
  • sadness, anger or irritability,
  • defensiveness, cynicism or a negative outlook
  • alcohol or substance misuse,
  • high blood pressure, and
  • decreased immune function leading to an increase in illnesses, among others.

If you’ve noticed any of the above symptoms, you could be experiencing burnout. It may be time to ask your boss for a mental health day. If so, read on for some mental health day ideas.

How To Ask For Time Off

Even though conversations about mental health are slowly becoming normalised, it can still be hard to ask for time off to recharge. As much as we know that mental health is just as important as physical health, it is that much harder to ask for a day off when we’re stressed or overwhelmed compared to when we have the flu.

Before you have a conversation with your boss, therapist Julieann Ipsan says: “It is vital to assess if your company and work culture is open to the idea of mental health days. If asking and explaining details will ultimately create more stress, it’s better to take a sick day with no explanation of the mental health needs.”

If your company is OK with mental health days, but you’re still not ready to share your reasons with your boss, you can always say something like, “I’m not feeling well so I have to take a day off, but I’ll be back tomorrow.” This is completely acceptable, after all, you don’t want to create more stress by asking for a mental health day. When pressed for more information, you can simply say “Don’t worry, I am OK, but I really don’t feel up to sharing the details at the moment.”

Once you know that your boss and workplace are open to mental health days, and you are OK with opening up that dialogue, then a little bit of planning can help to smooth the way. If possible, try to take a day off when you will have a limited impact on others or where you can reschedule your meetings.

When you talk to your boss, explain the symptoms you’ve been experiencing, and the benefits of taking some time off to recharge. It could go something like this: “As you know, I’ve been under the pump and the stress is getting to be too much. I’ve not been sleeping well for a while now and I know I have been short-tempered lately. I’m also not doing my best work. I need to be better at looking after myself and I would like to take a mental health day on Thursday to recharge. I hope this helps me to improve my mood and productivity.”

The more people talk about this, and chart a course for others, the more we’ll all benefit from this open, supportive environment in the future. Remember, if you need additional help, reach out to a professional.

11 Mental Health Day Ideas

Once you get your day off, it can be easy to sleep in and just curl up on the couch with the remote. That would be a mistake. It’s time to give yourself what you’ve been missing over the past few weeks or months. This means a mix of quiet, mindful activities, a little bit of pampering, and a lot of rest.

Here are 11 mental health day ideas:

  1. Don’t set an alarm. Let your body tell you when it has had enough sleep.
  2. Put your phone on silent. You don’t want to get sucked into mindless news and social media scrolling, or even worse: work issues! If you absolutely have to be contactable, set aside a small amount of time in the morning and again in the evening to check your messages. Stick to those timeframes!
  3. Put on some music. Set the tone for the day by choosing a playlist or artist who makes you happy or relaxed.
  4. Make your favourite breakfast and eat it outside. The benefits of being outside are well documented. Mindfully enjoy your meal, sit quietly and feel the sun on your face.
  5. Do some light exercise. Go for a 30-min walk around a new part of your neighbourhood. See what you can find that you never knew existed. Be mindful and take notice of nature. Don’t do extreme exercise as it can add further stress to your body – today is about recharging not further depleting your body.
  6. Eat a healthy lunch. It’s time to reset any bad eating habits you’ve developed while stressed. Try a big bowl of salad with chicken or fish. If this feels like a punishment, try to think of it instead as caring for yourself, and then add some nuts and cheese!
  7. Fit in a pampering activity. Go get your nails done or get a massage. Whatever makes you feel like a million dollars.
  8. Make some commitments to change. If you’re in an unsustainable position at work, think about to talking to your boss to let them know explicitly that your situation is not sustainable and ask them to work with you on solutions, or propose some solution. It might take some time for things to change, so in the meantime, you should also commit to changing your own self-care behaviour to help you get through. Pick one thing you can do starting tomorrow. This could be committing to getting 8 hours of sleep, drinking enough water, packing healthy lunches, drinking less alcohol, or walking more each day (try getting off the train/bus one stop earlier).
  9. Set yourself up for the next day. Particularly if you’re going back to your stressful work the next day, you want to do what you can to ease the anxiety that will be building as you get closer to going back. Put your clothes out in the evening and pack a healthy lunch so it’s easy to grab and go.
  10. Wind down. If you’re an evening TV watcher, try changing your routine to read a paper book for a couple of hours before bed. Either way, before you go to sleep, take 20 minutes to do some light stretching, then sit calmly and think about 3 things you’re grateful for. Write them down in a book.
  11. Go to bed early. You don’t want to mess up your sleeping patterns, so don’t go to bed too early, but make sure you’re in bed with enough time to get 8 hours of sleep.

Related content: Read Moving On article Resiliency Is About Recharging And Self-Care, But Are You Doing It Wrong?

Please note that I get a small commission if you buy something from my site. Your support helps to keep this site going, at no additional cost to you. Thanks!

Comment below! Tell me, what activities do you do on your mental health or self-care days?


Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, happiness, mental health, resilience, resiliency, wellbeing

5 Life Lessons They Should Teach At School

15/04/2020 by Marie

There are some life lessons they should teach at school… then again, we probably wouldn’t listen.

Unfortunately for young people, some life lessons first require life experience, and even then, some deeply ingrained mindsets will only shift after a major shock to the system, like trauma or grief.

For me, true happiness only came after a major motorbike accident, which nearly took my life, and my leg, and left me battling depression. But before that, I had been pretty successful. I had a full life. I was satisfied with my accomplishments. Only now with hindsight would I say I wasn’t really happy.

My parents, my teachers, even my society had taught me to strive for success and accomplishment. And I was working hard at that. You see, according to them, striving only for happiness was a sure-fire way to end up homeless and on the streets with no prospects. Financial stability was the most important thing, and then you could worry about things like happiness afterward, if that’s what you really wanted.

The thing that our parents, teachers and society failed to understand is that we only have one life and wasting it on trying to be successful first and happy later does not work. In her book, Top Five Regrets of The Dying, palliative nurse, Bronnie Ware, says among the top five regrets of the dying is “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” And you know what else is in the top five? “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

What are we taught at school?

For a large portion of Westerners, we are not at war and our countries mostly enjoy social stability. We have some choice over of the job we do. That job brings us enough income to house, feed and clothe our families. We enjoy the company of our families, sometimes getting married, sometimes having children.

Even with the uncertainty that Coronavirus has brought, we truly are living in the best times in our human existence. We live in an age of abundance and technological advancement, where we can honestly hope to make it to the peak of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – self-actualisation.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

The problem is we’ve been taught to strive and succeed, and once we have enough, many of us don’t know what to do. We take that success and stability and look to strive for more. More stuff. Bigger houses, nicer cars, fancier holidays.

Or worse, we look around at the stuff we’ve amassed, and wonder, was that all? Is this it? Where did I go wrong?! Cue mid-life crisis…

What we were never taught is that self-actualisation isn’t the last stop on the bus ride of life, and it isn’t the last item to check off on our ‘to do’ list before we get too old to enjoy it. It is the purpose of life itself. It should be deeply ingrained in all our thoughts and behaviours throughout life.

Happiness is a life lesson that should be taught at school!

Yet while we learn our times tables and the difference between adjectives and adverbs, not one teacher taught me the skills to live a happy life. To be fair, I don’t think they knew either.

The good news is that happiness and financial stability are not a dichotomy, we don’t have to choose one or the other. The science shows you can be both happy and have financial stability, achievement and success. In fact, that’s the secret, learning to balance both. 

So here are the life lessons they should teach at school.

5 Life Lessons They Should Teach At School

1. Happiness is a choice.

You can wake up every day and do some really simple things to improve your happiness. The science is very clear. The key is to decide you want to have happiness in your life and then prioritise it. Don’t know where to start? Try this science-backed  30-day happiness challenge.

2. Exercise isn’t a punishment, it’s part of your self-care routine.

The benefits of exercise to our physical and mental health cannot be overstated. Yet making time to go to the gym or play a sport is often seen as an indulgence or worse, a hassle. It’s the first thing that gets cut when budgets are tight or ditched when we have to stay late at work. It’s got to stop! Find an activity that you enjoy or just commit to walking more in your day-to-day life. Get off one stop too early, park at the back of the parking lot, take the stairs. It’s that simple.

3. Making good friends is hard, keeping them requires work.

The one thing people remember when they’re on their death beds is the people. The relationships. The love. The moments of shared love and laughs are the most important. Also, the studies are clear that having friends and people you can count on is important for your health, longevity and wellbeing. We need other people in our lives. But no one tells you that making new friends gets harder as we get older.

Jeffrey Hall, an associate professor at Kansas University, found that it takes, “roughly 50 hours of time together to move from mere acquaintance to casual friend, 90 hours to go from that stage to simple “friend” status and more than 200 hours before you can consider someone your close friend.” But when we’re not in a school environment, finding that time together becomes harder, so it takes longer and a lot more work. So, look after your old friendships, or develop new friends—but be prepared for it to take dedicated time and effort. Either way, having good friends will serve you in the long run.

4. Self-care isn’t indulgence, it’s critical to a long life.

The science is clear, looking after yourself both physically and mentally leads to a longer life. Eating well, getting eight hours of sleep, exercising, drinking water, reducing or managing stress and resting – all of these activities prolong our lives and improve the quality of our lives. Sometimes it’s the mental health care that can be the hardest to justify, but in today’s hectic world, it’s even more important than ever to know yourself and know when you need to breathe, or rest or remove yourself from a chronically stressful situation. So, make sure you have time for yourself and remember: you can’t care for others if you don’t care for yourself.

5. You can’t always do what you love for work, but you can always have something to do that you love.

The sad reality is that not all actors, artists, athletes or writers can get paid enough for their work to make a comfortable living. So, leverage your strengths to find work that interests you, or uses your strengths, even if you’re not passionate about it. But, make sure you dedicate time in your week for something that does inspire, motivate, light a fire or bring passion to your life. Even if you can only spare an hour per week, or a couple of hours per month, prioritise that time (put it in your diary and tell the family that’s your time) and protect it.

Similarly, if you haven’t yet found something that brings you passion, go looking for it. Sign up for new classes, try things that take you out of your comfort zone. Travel. Learn. Some things you won’t like, other things might stick, just be mindful and enjoy the journey along the way.

The key to happiness is to find a way to balance these activities around the things you have to do to meet your minimal needs. As Bronnie pointed out in her book Top Five Regrets of The Dying, and as many people who have gone before us realised all too late: while you’re working for safety, security, stability and a certain level of comfort, don’t forget to also be incorporating happiness into your life.

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, curiosity, education, happiness, happy, inspiration, life lessons, mastery, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction

30-Day Happiness Challenge

08/04/2020 by Marie

How to Rewire Your Brain to Bring More Happiness Into Your Life

We’re all living through unique and challenging times right now. To make matters worse, a lot of our stresses are completely out of our control.

But there are certain things that are 100 per cent within your control and you can do to build your resiliency and happiness.

Follow the 30-day Happiness Challenge and Rewire Your Brain to Bring More Happiness Into Your Life!

The challenge is divided into activities under the three resiliency and happiness foundations: purpose, social connection and healthy mind and body. If any activity doesn’t speak to you, try to replace it with a similar activity that motivated you.

Before you get started:

  • You’ve got to be all in! It’s only 30 days, and what if it works? Go on, commit and see where it will take you.
  • Prepare to set aside time each day to complete your activity in a mindful, distraction-free way.
  • Plan ahead. Take a look at the activities for the upcoming week so you can plan anything that needs planning. Set things up in your diary early to lock it in.
  • Do it with a friend! Find a friend to complete the challenge with, and you can hold each other accountable.
  • Need inspiration? Click on the links if you want more help, ideas or explanations.

Start the 30-day Happiness Challenge now!

Day 1 – Plan a dinner date with a friend or loved one

Day 2 – No sugar day

Day 3 – Start a gratitude journal

Day 4 – Set aside time to find flow

Day 5 – Call your Mum or a sibling for a chat

Day 6 – Go for a 30-minute walk with a friend or family

Day 7 – Rest and relax

Day 8 – Learn something new – try a podcast, book or Ted Talk

Day 9 – Organise a dinner party

Day 10 – Drink 8 glasses of water

Day 11 – Write in your gratitude journal

Day 12 – Bring awe into your life

Day 13 – Hug a pet, partner or friend

Day 14 – Go to bed 1 hour earlier

Day 15 – Sit outside in nature for 30 minutes

Day 16 – Write in your gratitude journal

Day 17 – Practice kindness or help a friend or neighbour

Day 18 – Get 30+ minutes of exercise

Day 19 – Write in your gratitude journal

Day 20 – Set aside time to find flow

Day 21 – Grab a drink or meal with a work colleague

Day 22 – No processed foods, only fresh foods

Day 23 – Take a social media detox. Turn off all notifications.

Day 24 – Learn something new – try a podcast, book or Ted Talk

Day 25 – Plan your next holiday with family or a friend

Day 26 – Do 30-minutes of stretching

Day 27 – Write in your gratitude journal

Day 28 – Practice positive solitude

Day 29 – Practice kindness or help a friend or neighbour

Day 30 – Go for a 30-minute walk with a friend or family

Follow our 30-day happiness challenge to bring more happiness into your life today!

Tell us in the comments what activities do you do that help you to bring happiness into your life!


Don’t forget to subscribe for our monthly newsletter for more tips, freebies and subscriber only content!

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: body, challenge, connection, exercise, gratitude, happiness, happiness challenge, health, inspiration, meaning, mind, motivation, purpose, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction, social, wellbeing

Stress Reduction Lessons from Marie Kondo

01/04/2020 by Marie

Why everything in your home should have a purpose and how to find joy

Have you ever come home from a busy day at work and taken a look at the piles of laundry that need folding, the stacks of papers on the dining room table and the general clutter everywhere and felt your stress levels get even worse? All that clutter and stuff can just seem like a never-ending to-do list that bugs you every time you walk into the house.

Well, you’re not just imagining it, research shows that clutter and mess can really impact our stress levels. Which probably explains the international sensation Marie Kondo, who has helped millions of people tidy up and, in the process, find joy and reduce stress. So what lessons from Marie Kondo can we apply to our own lives?

Recently, I spoke to certified KonMari consultant and founder of Neatly Awesome, Pilar Llorente who is one of only eight certified Konmari consultants in Australia. She says that the things we hold on to often have a deeper meaning in our minds, and that’s why she uses a holistic approach to help clients get rid of clutter and chaos.

Controlling the Chaos

“All that physical clutter becomes mental clutter as well,” says Pilar. “So, if we have things in our homes that we don’t need, use or love, our minds are probably full of those things too.”

According to Pilar, it’s a problem that many people face, and it just snowballs until you feel that you are not in control of your stuff, which is stressful. But when you can go through your stuff and clean not just your physical space but also your mental space, and you focus on what’s really important, it can bring real calm and peace.

In fact, the best part of the Konmari method, according to Pilar is the spiritual and emotional outcomes.

“I remember I had a client, and we were going through the Komono stage [see below] and I said, ‘wow, you have lots and lots of plates.’ She said, ‘Those are for very important people (…) I don’t want to use them every day.’ But then she had a lot of plates that were a bit old and chipped, and I said ‘how would you feel about using your special dinnerware every day?’ And she said, ‘no no no, I’m scared that if use it every day, it may break and all those memories I have will be broken too.’ And I said, ‘the memories will always be there, you don’t need the actual object (…) Imagine if you used that dinnerware every single day, then every single day you will remember all those memories. And don’t you feel special enough to use these every day?’ And her eyes just lit up and she was like ‘OH! You are right!’”

Although there are many lessons from Marie Kondo outlined in her show and her books, here’s a look at 5 steps to get started on your decluttering journey.

Lessons from Marie Kondo: 5 steps to declutter your home and your mind

So, where do you begin when it comes to decluttering your home? There are consultants, like Pilar, who are trained to guide you through what can be a very emotional journey. Alternatively, if you want to go it alone, there are five areas Marie Kondo says you need to tackle.

STEP 1: Clothes

Start by putting all your clothes on the bed. Pick up each item one at a time, and if that item doesn’t bring you joy or have a very practical and critical purpose, you should put it into the “toss” pile.

STEP 2: Books

Next is books. Here the rule is simple: everything needs a home. If you have space for a huge book collection, that’s great. But if you don’t have a space for every book, then it’s time to make some tough calls and get rid of some.

STEP 3: Paper

Today, a lot of our paperwork is online, but many of us still have piles of old bills and paperwork laying around. Again, go through the lot. Shred old documents, and neatly file those you have to keep.

STEP 4: Komono

“Komono” means everything in your bathroom, kitchen, garage and miscellaneous items. This step is less about joy and more about practicality. Tip everything out into a pile and only keep the things you need and use.

STEP 5: Sentimental items

Last but not least are the sentimental items, which are the hardest to let go of, and why this step is last. By this point, you should have accustomed your mind to letting things go, so it’s a bit easier to let go of the Mother’s Day card you received when your kid was 6, and the movie ticket stub from your first date with your husband of 15 years. At this step, you should be deciding which items to display, which to store and which things can go.

Hopefully these lessons from Marie Kondo help you to get some control back in your life!

To hear the full interview, click here.


Don’t forget to subscribe for our monthly newsletter so you don’t miss out on our podcasts, posts or specials.

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, chaos, clutter, curiosity, happiness, inspiration, joy, Konmari, Marie Kondo, mess, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction, stress, tidy

Where are you on the Coronavirus Change Curve?

29/03/2020 by Marie

This week I was interviewed for a podcast on resiliency. I wrote down some notes before the interview, which ended up going a bit off script, so I had all this content and nothing to do with it… hence the following article which is now a Q&A with myself! So, if you want to know about the Coronavirus Change Curve and how to maintain your resiliency during this unique time in our human history, read on.

Having resiliency… what does that mean?

Simply put, resiliency is our ability to bounce back when things go wrong or are bad.

It doesn’t mean that resilient people don’t cry or get angry or feel pain – it’s really important not to bury those emotions, when things are bad; you’ve got to process them. It does mean that resilient people process quicker, they’re less likely to get overwhelmed by those feelings and get stuck there, so they move on faster.

How are Balance and Happiness Related to Resiliency?

I’ve been interviewing people all around the world to understand why some people are resilient, and others not. Or why we’re resilient one day, and not the next. My research is showing that there are 3 things that resilient people have:

  1. Firstly, they have close social bonds, this means they have three or more close people they feel they can depend on.
  2. Secondly, they have purpose or meaning, so they have long term goals and a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
  3. Thirdly, they prioritise their own physical and mental wellbeing. Now this differs person to person – it could be going for hikes, or extreme gym workouts, getting 8-hours of sleep and drinking lot of water – there’s no right answer, except that they have built and always maintain those good habits, particularly when things get busy or stressful.

So back to the original question… There is such a wealth of research now in the positive psychology space on how to be happy, and it turns out that those 3 pillars are so integral to happiness as well.

The last one is balance – which gets a bit of a bad wrap as a new age catchword. But essentially, my research is showing that you can’t only do one or two out of the three foundations, you have to have balance across the three, which is a bit of a wake-up call for a lot of people. You are just as much in danger if you’re a workaholic as if you’re unemployed!

Coronavirus Has Put Many of us in a Danger Zone

As I just mentioned, balance is key, and a lot of us are out of balance right now, which means a lot of people are in a danger zone right now – they’re not in a good place for resiliency and they’re at risk of feeling out of control emotions, or being overwhelmed by emotions or even of depression, particularly the longer they’re out of balance.

For instance:

  • If you’ve lost your job, aside from financial stress that brings, for most people that means you’ve lost your purpose or meaning, and sometimes your identity too. And the statistics show that a 1 in 5 people who lose their jobs become depressed if they don’t get another job within 6 months.
  • If you’re self-isolating, particularly if you live alone, that means you may have lost your social connections. And again, the statistics paint a grim picture, in fact, the World Economic Forum had labelled loneliness an epidemic. So, we’ve got more people living alone than ever before in human history, and supposedly loneliness is as toxic as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • Lastly, you’ve got a whole lot of lucky people who kept their jobs but they’re now adjusting to working from home 100 per cent of the time. And one of the common traps I’m seeing is that people are spending hours sitting at their computers, and they’re not moving. And we all now know that sedentary lifestyles and sitting for long times is really bad for you – it even increases your chances of cardiovascular disease and cancer.

3 Tips to Re-gain Your Balance

It’s time for the good news. I’m sick of all the doom and gloom! Here are some really practical things you can do to boost your resiliency through all this.

  • If you don’t have a job, you need to set a long term goal and work towards it. Think of things you can master, like a new language or new instrument, launch a new website, or complete a good DIY project that will take a few days, or start a new course on one of the many free online learning platforms, like EdX which has courses from some of the top universities in the world. Try to think of long-term activities that will make you feel proud when you’ve accomplished them.
  • If you’re at home alone, make a point to video chat with someone every day, and just a side point, mindless scrolling on social media is not connecting with people, in fact it has the opposite effect.
  • And if you are now working from home, make a deal with yourself that you will stand and walk for every phone call or video conference – people are being far more accepting now.

The Coronavirus Change Curve

We’re all just getting used to a new normal, so during this time of change it’s really important to keep focused on those three resiliency foundations: close social bonds, meaning and purpose, and healthy mind and body. If you don’t look after yourself first, you can’t look after others.

Also, it’s worth pointing out that we’re all going through change right now, and it’s leading to both positive and negative emotions, which are normal.

Perhaps the best way to understand what we’re all going through is to look at the change curve, which was originally created by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969 to describe the stages of grief. Today, we use this same model to show the stages that people go through when they experience any crisis or major change.

Here’s a look at the Coronavirus Change Curve.

Coronavirus Change Curve

The first step to moving on is to understand your own journey. It’s worth poiting out here that not everyone goes through each stage, and some people spend longer in one stage than in others, while others skip some stages altogether.

In Australia, as a society, we seem to be moving onto sadness at the moment, and maybe even some acceptance. But, we’re living in an uncertain and extremely volatile world at the moment, so it’s possible that other events, such as an economic downturn, would take us back to the beginning of the curve again.

What stage do you think you’re in?

What will the future look like after Coronavirus?

Once we get through the uncertainty of the Coronavirus Change Curve and this new world we’re adjusting to, I’m really hopeful for the future.

I truly think we’re going to learn a lot of really good lessons from the next few months. You see for too long we’ve been fighting against the Change Storm. We’ve been too busy, too stressed, and it’s overwhelming and it’s been making us sick. I mentioned loneliness before, but there’s also burnout and chronic stress, and anxiety, and it crosses all demographic categories.

I think that this forced isolation is going to teach us to have to explore boredom and get creative, which research shows both lead to increases in happiness. It will teach us how to unplug, and re-connect with family. It will help us to value the simpler things in life, and to slow down a bit. In short, it will bring us a lot of joy.

I was talking to a colleague this week who mentioned that she had been baking with her kids and they’d started a garden together and she had really loved spending the quality time with them. That normally would have been spent on driving to and from afterschool sports and activities and commuting to and from work and on the million acitivities we feel we have to do every day and week.

So, I’m hopeful for the future. If we can get through the next few months I think you’ll find we come out stronger and possibly even healthier (as long as you didn’t only horde cookies when you went shopping).

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: happy, resilience, resiliency

3 Steps to Take Back Control of Your Emotions

25/03/2020 by Marie

Is COVID-19 making you stressed, anxious or lonely? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

Since December 2019, the world has watched as COVID-19 spread from a local marketplace in the province of Wuhan, China to cover every corner of the world.

It has impacted us all. Many of us have cancelled future travel plans or been worried about how to get home from current holiday travel. Others have lost their jobs or been stood down from work, often with no idea of when, or if, they’ll go back to work. Many people are struggling with the isolation of having to work from home and following social distancing rules. And we’re all still scratching our heads about the toilet paper.

And that doesn’t even take into account the people who have caught the virus, whose lives have been turned upside down at best, and who are at risk of dying at worst.

We’ve seen the best in humans and the worst in humans (again, fighting over toilet paper? Really people, get it together!) and the only thing we can say is yes, these are most definitely unprecedented times.

The worst part is that all of it is out of our control. All of it except how we respond – that is 100 per cent within your control.

So, if you’re sick of being at the mercy of the latest fatalistic news broadcast, it’s time to take back control of your emotions! Here are three areas you can focus on to take back control of your emotions during these stressful times.

Remember, as author Stephen Covey said, “The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”So, if you want to be happier or reduce stress, anxiety and negative emotions, pick a few of the below research-backed options that work for you, and schedule them into your diary to make them habits.

3 steps to taking back control of your emotions during difficult times

Practice Self care

Your health and wellbeing are critical to your happiness. Luckily, there is a wealth of information about how to make small changes to your life to make it healthier and improve your wellbeing. Start by practicing self care to take back control of your emotions:

  • Get outside in the sun and/or into nature, studies shows that spending time by the sea makes people happier. Also just being outdoors makes you happier — preferably in a non-urban environment, but hey, we’ll take what we can get! Studies show that time outside in nature, especially among trees, significantly reduces stress and anxiety, improves your mood and energy, and boosts your immunity!
  • Do some light exercise, like going for an evening walk, or just get outside with a pet or your kids. If you’re working from home, be especially conscious of not sitting for too long, which has been associated with increased mortality!
  • Drink plenty of water and get 8-hours of sleep
  • Hug your partner/ significant other, or spend 5 minutes cuddling with a pet
  • Practice self-compassion. Give yourself a break! Constantly aiming to be better is exhausting and focusing on what’s ‘wrong’ or needs improvement can lead to negative self-talk. So, make sure you balance things out with some self-love and positive talk.

Look After Others

It’s been said that helping others is the most selfish act you can do. That’s because the benefits of helping others are so vast. Try some of the below activities to bring more joy and satisfaction into your life, and take back control of your emotions.

  • Kindness increases happiness, energy, the love hormone (oxytocin), pleasure and it even increases your lifespan. It’s also really easy to practice and has recently started a global movement you can get involved in #RandomActsOfKindness
  • Practice loving kindness. Research has shown that helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier, but more recent research finds that simply wishing someone well may have a similarly positive effect on our moods.
  • Research has shown that volunteering is rewarding in and of itself, and helping others is a way to higher individual wellbeing.

Be Social

No seriously! Social distancing doesn’t mean not being social, it means maintaining physical distance from others. In other words, don’t stop seeing people! The fastest road to feeling sad and lonely is to stop seeing and speaking to people. Humans are genetically wired to be social animals. So, to take back control of your emotions, make sure you take the time to be social. All you need is one close friendship; as this recent study shows, to take back control of your emotions.

What activities are OK in COVID-19 times? According to multiple sources, as long as you follow these general hygiene guidelines, you can do the following activities:

  • Avoid close contact, such as shaking hands, hugging, and kissing.
  • Wash hands often or use a hand sanitizer when soap and water are not available, and don’t touch your face.
  • Avoid surfaces that are touched often, such as doorknobs, handrails, and playground equipment.
  • Don’t go out if you feel unwell.

If you keep the above guidance in mind, the following activities will keep you connected during this time of uncertainty.

  • Call or video conference a friend or family members. Keep a special eye on people who are living alone and can’t go out.
  • Go for a walk with people in your household, or a friend but remember no contact! Many national parks are still open, and fresh air and exercise are still so important for mental health.
  • Visit a quiet beach. Although many beaches have been closed recently (most notably Bondi Beach was closed over the weekend), it’s the crowds not the activities that are the concern. If you live near a quiet beach, make an effort to meet someone for a walk.
  • Organise a virtual dinner party! If you want to go all out, pick a fancy-dress theme and send an email invite. Get everyone to download Zoom before the night. Put on some tunes in the background, BYO dinner and drinks, and dial in to the party.

Remember, Coronavirus is extremely contagious, can live in the air for hours and on some surfaces for days, and can easily be spread by droplets from someone’s cough. Keep your distance from others outside your household and wash your hands regularly.

NOTE: Advice is changing all the time, and differs in different countries, check your government website for the latest information and guidance.

Tell us your stories! What are you doing to keep sane during COVID-19?


Don’t forget to subscribe for our monthly newsletter for more tips, freebies and subscriber only content!

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, Coronavirus, covid-19, happiness, inspiration, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction, stress

Coronavirus Making You Feel a Bit Low? Consider Adopting a Pet

24/03/2020 by Marie

The Research is Clear: Pets Make You Happier and Benefit Your Mental Health

Research shows that interacting with pets increases cortisol levels, making you happier.

Here’s 3 ways you can find a new best friend and gain some resiliency during the Coronavirus pandemic.

1. Rescue or Adopt a Pet

Many studies have shown that pets make you happier, in fact simply petting a cat or dog reduces the stress hormone cortisol. All it takes is 10 minutes a day to lower your stress levels and increase positive emotions. Studies show that owning a dog reduces a person’s risk of premature death by up to a third!

Another study showed that having a dog has been proven to increase physical health too — after all you have to take them for walks! A study that examined data from almost 34,000 people has found that as little as one-hour of exercise per week, regardless of intensity, can help to prevent depression. So, get out there walk your dog or play with them in the park or backyard for just an hour and you can reap the benefits!

NOTE: generally, going for walks is still OK if you’re shut-in to help slow the spread of COVID-19 (keep 2 metres away from other walkers) but they’re generally not allowed if you’re officially quarantined because you’re high risk. Check with your local authorities to be sure.

2. Be Kind and Foster a Pet

If you can’t commit to rescuing and owning a pet full-time, you might be able to help out by fostering a pet for the short-term.

Unfortunately, in times of stress and when people are pinched financially, vets and charities often see a rise in dumped or surrendered animals. When people don’t know if or when they’ll get another pay check, it’s often hard to keep a pet, and many are returned to shelters.

Research shows giving to others activates an area of the brain linked with contentment and the reward cycle. So, performing selfless acts makes you happier. Being kind also increases happiness, energy, the love hormone (oxytocin), pleasure and it even increases your lifespan. It’s also really easy to practice and has recently started a global movement you can get involved in #RandomActsOfKindness

3. Volunteer to Walk Your Neighbours’ Dogs

You might not be able to take on a pet at your home right now, but many people are in need of help at the moment too, particularly if they’re quarantined at home. So why not put up a sign in your apartment lobby or local shops or do a mail drop around your street offering to walk your neighbours’ dogs.

Research shows that helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier. But more recent research finds that simply wishing someone well may have a similarly positive effect on our moods. So, whip around your block or neighbourhood (keeping your social distancing) or even better send around some emails and offer to help out.

Remember while you’re walking your neighbours’ dogs to be sure to stop and smell the roses, or at least notice them. Research says that observing nature — wherever you may be — will make you feel happier and improve your overall wellbeing.


Want some other science-backed tips to bring happiness into your life, read How to be happy – 50 science-backed ways to improve your happiness

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: Coronavirus, covid-19, kindness, mental health, pet, resilience, resiliency

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 5
  • Page 6
  • Page 7
  • Page 8
  • Page 9
  • Go to Next Page »

Footer

About Marie

My story

Speaker profile

Speaker testimonials

Contact

Privacy and Disclaimer

Podcast: Happiness for Cynics

Spotify

Amazon

 

Book: Self-care is church for non-believers

Buy now

Media kit (PDF)

 

If you purchase some items on or via my site, I may get a small fee for qualifying purchases. Please know that I only promote products I believe in. Also, your purchase doesn't increase the cost to you but it makes a big difference to me and helps me to keep this blog running. Thanks for your support. Copyright © 2026 · WordPress · Log in