Unapologetically Marie

Writer, podcaster, mental health advocate

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Awe-inspiring activities to bring wonder to your life

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Do you ever feel like you need to get out of your own head? Maybe you need some help to deal with daily stresses or building your mental wellbeing and resilience? have you tried including awe-inspiring activities in your life? Here’s how.

Reflecting on your awe-inspiring activities

I want you to stop and think about the last time you experienced awe. Maybe you were outdoors in nature or on a family holiday? For me, it was the moment I stepped out of the archway and saw the Taj Mahal in India. I remember the goose bumps traveling up my arms and the wave of feeling that brought a huge grin to my face as I stood in front of the most awe-inspiring proclamation of love on the planet (in my humble opinion).

That moment was 5 years ago, and I can still remember it. I can still feel it.

Moments of awe are like life’s exclamation marks, punctuating our lives in rare and special moments. According to the Collins dictionary, “Awe is the feeling of respect and amazement that you have when you are faced with something wonderful and often rather frightening.”

It’s a thrill or a moment of wonder. It’s rare, and special, and because of that it is imprinted in your memory forever. Often it makes you think – about life and all that life entails. Sometimes it even energises you to act, at least in the short term, and every now and then it can even bring about longer-term change.

Some people find awe and wonder regularly, in the small and big things around them, while others only experience awe occasionally. It is different for every person.

The importance of awe

Experiencing awe is about being engaged with the wonder of life.

When you’re moving through an uneventful day on autopilot, or your mind is just wandering, the default mode network (DMN) in our brains is running things. For the DMN, it’s just another day and there’s not much effort going into our activities. But as researchers in the Netherlands discovered, when we are fully immersed in experiencing awe, it switches on our brains so we engage more with our external world and less with ourselves.

That state of immersion in awe enhances your wellbeing, gives you more satisfaction in life, sharpens your brains, and makes you feel less impatient and more time rich, according to researchers. It also impacts your physical health, with studies by University of Toronto, University of Pittsburgh and University of California-Berkeley showing that experiencing awe reduced inflammation in the body. Researchers at UC Berkeley showed that positive emotions such as awe are linked to proinflammatory cytokines, which respond to infection, inflammation, and trauma, among other things.

Research also shows that awe leads to people being more generous, more prosocial and more willing to volunteer – maybe as a result of people feeling humbled by things much larger than themselves and having a greater appreciation for larger social context and concerns.

What brings you awe?

Thankfully you don’t have to travel all the way to the Taj Mahal, Grand Canyon or Great Barrier Reef to feel awe and wonder. Awe can be experienced as a part of everyday life, but it is different for everyone.

Some people experience awe in day-to-day interactions with their kids, or on their morning jog. For others a moving piece of music, a ballet performance or a place of worship will lead to awe. Some people don’t experience awe often and need to work to remind themselves to find moments to stop and smell the roses in a hectic life.

To identify things that might bring you awe, try to think back to the last time you had goose bumps or the last time you felt small compared to the vastness of time or a place around you.

Planning for awe-inspiring activities in your life

Once you have identified the types of activities and moments that are likely to bring you awe, amazement and wonder, schedule these activities into your life. Here are some awe-inspiring activities that might give you some inspiration.

Experience the awe of ballerinas dancing

Be inspired by someone

Find people whom you respect for doing and thinking amazing things. That could be dancers in a theatre, singers at a concert, athletes at a sports event, or thinkers at a local university lecture series. Alternatively, you could find someone who has an extraordinary story and read their biography or watch them talk.

Experience the awe of nature

Get out into nature

Find a nature park or body of water that you haven’t visited yet and take a day trip. When you get there, plan to spend some time in reflection and contemplate the beauty of the area you’re visiting. Find something that amazes you, relax and just sit and watch in silence. And even if you don’t experience awe, simply observing nature is proven to make you happier and improve your overall wellbeing. For inspiration, check out this Lonely Planet article on where to find the most beautiful lakes.

Experience the awe of history

Take a trip to somewhere with a long and proud history

Before you go, do some research into the area and history and the stories from the area. Read a book or watch a movie about that period – whatever you can do to connect with the vast history of the place and connect with the people and their stories. When you get there, visit a monument, museum or historical site and take the time to sit and reflect about the people and history around you.

Re-live your awe-inspiring moments, like getting married

Re-live your awe-inspiring moments

Simply reliving your moments of awe can have a positive impact on your wellbeing. Sit down and have a look through photos of old trips you’ve taken, or the birth of your child. Actually watch that video of your wedding! Or even better write a journal entry about any one of these moments.

Start an awe-inspiring journal

Start an awe-inspiring playlist, album or journal

Researchers have shown that even reading about or watching awe-inspiring things can have a positive impact on your wellbeing. Now it’s true that this may not lead to as intense feelings of awe, but it still does have a positive impact. So why not start a journal of all the things that inspire you and bring you awe? You can paste your own photos or cut images from magazines or printed from articles online. Alternatively, you can create a playlist of music or movies that inspire awe in you. A great resource is Berkeley’s Awe video exercise, or take a look through the beautiful photos and videos at LonelyPlanet.com!

Make time for awe in your life

The research on awe is pretty conclusive: experiencing awe is powerful and comes with many benefits.

Remember, when you get there, don’t forget to be present and take the time to appreciate the moment and all its AWEsomeness. While there are still benefits to passively experiencing awe-inspiring activities, studies show you get even greater benefits when you’re mindful while experiencing moments of awe.

So, if you need to get out of your own head, deal with daily stressors or build your mental wellbeing and resilience, find a way to include awe-inspiring activities in your life.

Related reading: 3 ways to bring inspiration into your daily life

Comment below! What makes you feel awe?

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Is Your Mindset Holding Back Your Growth and Happiness?

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The International Day of Education is the Perfect Time to Discuss the Importance of Developing a Growth Mindset

Have you ever given up because something was too hard, or avoided taking on a challenge altogether just in case you failed?  Maybe you’ve been frustrated at yourself for not being smarter, or resented others for succeeding at things that seemed to come naturally or easily to them?

Don’t worry, this is normal (and typical) ‘Fixed Mindset’ behaviour, and it’s something you can change.

Source: WikiMedia Commons

January 24 is the International Day of Education, and what better time to review recent research and thinking into how we learn? Since I went to school a lot has changed. Teachers can’t smoke in classrooms, kids don’t have to volunteer to change the projector slides, and computers are in the kids’ pockets not in a ‘Mac lab’ that you visit once a week to learn typing… just to name a few.

Since the 90s, there have also been a number of advances in our understanding of how we learn. One of the biggest developments in education and psychology is the work Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck pioneered in Fixed vs. Growth Mindset.

Dweck has spent her career creating a body of research and evidence that shows we aren’t born smart or dumb. Instead, in her 2006 book ‘Mindset: The New Psychology of Success’ she argues that we how we view our ability to learn and handle challenges is directly linked to how well we learn.

Here’s how Dweck described it in an interview with Harvard Business review (HBR):

“A fixed mindset is when people believe their basic qualities, their intelligence, their talents, their abilities, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount, and that’s that. But other people have a growth mindset. They believe that even basic talents and abilities can be developed over time through experience, mentorship, and so on. And these are the people who go for it. They’re not always worried about how smart they are, how they’ll look, what a mistake will mean. They challenge themselves and grow.”

Learning is a Journey

The research into Growth Mindset shows our success at school, and even in life, is tied to our mindset, and if you have a growth mindset, you can grow your brain’s capacity to learn and to solve problems. Therefore, intelligence is not fixed, and if you believe in learning as a journey, you can grow your intelligence.

In her studies, Dweck found that some kids saw challenges as opportunities to learn, even seeing their failures as good – the more they failed, the more they learned. So, they were psyched for more challenges. However, other kids saw challenges in the exact opposite way, rather than working harder to try to improve, they gave up or didn’t try.

The good news is that further studies showed that is was possible to change people’s mindsets, and therefore impact their results at school – with some experiments showing huge turnarounds in class grades from the bottom to the top of the district or state in only a year.

Here are two such examples:

Listen to Carol Dweck talk about how ‘the power of yet’ can change kids’ mindsets.

Growth Mindset is for Adults Too

There have been many other studies in growth mindset that show the benefits for adults in professional settings. In fact, in recent years the term “life-long learning” has started making its way into corporate vernacular – aligning up with the need for employees to stay up-to-date with rapidly changing workplaces, industries and societies.

According to global consulting firm McKinsey & Company, “studies show that workers who maintain their ability to learn outpace other professionals. The people who will thrive in the 21st century will be those who embrace lifelong learning and continually increase their knowledge, skills, and competencies.”

It’s worth remembering that it’s not just the acquisition of new skills and competencies that benefit these workers. The mindset that drives people to be curious and want to learn more is also a great buffer against criticism and failure. People who have a growth mindset see failure as a part of their development journey. So, it’s not just the new skills or knowledge, but also the mindset, that helps people with a growth mindset succeed.

It turns out that developing a growth mindset and lifelong learning habits are skills that will benefit you well into retirement too. A recent study showed that people who keep their mind sharp in retirement tend to live longer.

How to Develop a Growth Mindset

If you think you need help to change your current mindset, or want to know more about this research, MinsetWorks.com is a great online resource.

Check out Mindset Works’ free assessment to identify areas in which you can work toward a growth mindset.

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How to be happy – 50 science-backed ways to improve your happiness

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Are you looking for some ideas or inspiration to help reduce anxiety, build resiliency, cope with the stresses of modern life or lift your mood?

Positive Psychology is a fairly new sub-field within the study of psychology. It is the study of happiness and looks at how people can live a more fulfilling, satisfying and meaningful life. There has been an explosion of research over the past couple of decades, and one thing is absolutely obvious: you can practice happiness.

Happiness is not about being in a constant state of joy, or about being on a constant high all the time. It’s about positivity and mental wellbeing. It’s enjoying the good times and being able to bounce back from the bad times. It’s grieving when we need to grieve and being resilient when we need resilience.

Take a read below of the top 50 science-backed activities you can incorporate into your life that are proven to help you be happy. Try one or try them all. Try them once or make them a part of your daily, weekly or monthly habits.

But remember, as author Stephen Covey said, “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” So, if you want to be happier or reduce stress, anxiety and negative emotions, pick a few of the below options that work for you, and schedule them into your weekly planner.

50 tips for how to be happy

1. Get a pet or interact with animals

The research shows that interacting with pets increased cortisol levels, making you happier.

2. Build a growth mindset

Having a growth mindset means you never stop learning. Now research shows that it also impacts how you see the world and makes you more likely to thrive in life.

3. Practice smiling

Science shows that once you smile, feedback loops go back to the brain which reinforce feelings of joy and happiness.

4. Be authentic to yourself and your truth

Humanistic psychologists have shown that as their clients become more authentic, they become happier and their psychological wellbeing increases.

5. Reduce your commute time

There are many changes you can make to your life to impact your happiness levels, and one of them is moving closer to work or finding a way to reduce your commute time. It turns out that having a bigger house doesn’t make up for having a longer commute.

6. Plan a holiday

Holidays are great, we all know that — take them whenever you can. But did you know that the biggest boost in your happiness comes not from the vacation itself, but from the act of planning the vacation?

7. Take your lunchbreak and get outside in the sun

A recent study shows that spending time by the sea makes people happier. It also showed that just being outdoors makes you happier — preferably in a non-urban environment, but hey, we’ll take what we can get!

8. Make time for family

There is substantial research into the benefits of close social bonds, but this study looks at the economic impact of having a happy marriage, and a good social life. The results? Good relationships and social bonds not only make you happier, they also make you richer!

9. Meditate

There are many types of meditation, and they all help with happiness. Research shows that participants report feeling more positive emotions and more energetic.

10. Eat lots of fruit and vegies

There is increasing research linking a healthy body to a healthy mind, including this study that showed eating more fruit and vegies led to an increase in motivation and vitality.

11. Discover your purpose or meaning

This one is a no-brainer. Many, many studies have shown that having purpose or meaning is key to happiness. But how do you find your purpose? Check out this article for some inspiration.

12. Do some gardening and plant a tree

Not only does being around trees increase our mental wellbeing, it also has a positive impact on our immune system! Who knew?

13. Practice self-compassion

Give yourself a break! Constantly aiming to be better is exhausting and focusing on what’s ‘wrong’ or needs improvement can lead to negative self-talk. So make sure you balance things out with some self-love and positive talk, or even better, work to stop judging yourself altogether.

14. Be social

Humans are genetically wired to be social animals, after all there is strength in numbers! So make sure you take the time to be social, even if you’re busy or introverted. You could meet a friend for coffee or organise a group to have dinner.

15. Buy some happiness

Let’s be clear: money doesn’t buy happiness (as long as you have enough to cover your basic needs). But you can use money to pay someone else to do the things you don’t like and free up some time for you to do things that will bring you joy.

16. Cut down on sugar

I’m so sad to see this one on the list, but not only is sugar bad for our waistlines, it may also increase our long-term risk of mental health disorders according to this study. Best to limit sugar to special occasions if you can.

17. Find happy people to be around

Sometimes we need to protect ourselves and cut toxic relationships out of our lives. But, have you stopped to consider the impact your partner’s happiness has on your life? Research shows that people with happier partners live longer! A thought worth considering when you’re dating. If that ship has sailed, then why not do something nice for your partner to bring a smile to their face once you’ve finished reading this article?

18. Find time for your close friends

Life gets busy, we know, but it’s important to keep your relationships strong, particularly as you age. This recent study shows that having just one strong friendship is enough to stave off mental decline as we age.

19. Find or create moments of awe in your life

Studies show that experiencing moments of awe makes us moregenerous and patient, and helps you deal with stress better.

20. Prioritise positivity

This is a tried and tested hypothesis and it’s true: how you see the world impacts your mental wellbeing. Or put another way, your beliefs affect your emotional experiences. Why not try this little trick to bring some more positivity into your life?

21. Have a family meal

We know that being social is important, so family mealtime is a no brainer, we have to eat so why not do it together? But what you may not know is that eating together benefits your kids’ mental and physical health. So, try to prioritise at least one family meal per day where you put phones and distractions away and be present with each other!

22. Have a laugh at yourself

You might think that people who are self-deprecating have lower self-esteem, but this study shows it’s the opposite, and people who make fun of themselves are in fact happier and better socially adjusted.

23. Learn to forgive your mistakes and accept yourself

It’s one thing to practice positive self-talk, but why not take it even further and forgive yourself altogether and accept your faults. In this study, acceptance was the habit that was most strongly linked to life satisfaction.

24. Try yoga

Yoga is a mind-body practice that has risen in popularity over recent decades, and it has also recently been proven to help people with depression.

25. Get creative

Find a passion and get creative, you could try writing, dancing, acting, cooking, painting or any number of other creative pursuits. No matter what you choose, one thing is sure, being creative helps people deal with trauma and is helpful to both physical and mental wellbeing.

26. Have (a little bit of) chocolate

Studies into how eating chocolate impacts mood showed either an improvement in mood or a reduction of negative mood.

27. Get a dog

Having a dog has been proven to increase physical health — after all you have to take them for walks. But dogs are also good for mental health too. Studies show that owning a dog reduces a person’s risk of premature death by up to a third!

28. Be kind

Kindness increases happiness, energy, the love hormone (oxytocin), pleasure and it even increases your lifespan. It’s also really easy to practice and has recently started a global movement you can get involved in #RandomActsOfKindness

29. Attend a spiritual retreat

A study showed that people who attend spiritual retreats report greater psychological well-being and show retreats may increase levels of “feel-good” hormones in the brain.

30. Build your work friendships

Positive and warm relationships at work can make us feel happier and healthier, while also increasing productivity.

31. Take a break or limit overuse of social media

We’ve all heard the doomsday reports on the negative effects of social media. It turns out the key to social media is to be active in your use (not passive). When used actively to build or maintain social ties, social media can be a positive force, but beware of passively scrolling through feeds for hours — this can lead to liking yourself less and feeling envy. Also taking a week off can boosts well-being too. In the end, the research says to use social media wisely, deliberately and sparingly.

32. Take a moment to look at nature

On your way to work? Popping into the shops? Wherever you are, be sure to stop and smell the roses, or at least notice them. Research says that observing nature — wherever you may be — will make you feel happier.

33. Cook a new recipe for dinner

Cooking is a form of self-care and cooking for others is a way of nurturing people and sharing a meal is a great way to create deeper social bonds.

34. Practice loving kindness

Research has shown that helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier, but more recent research finds that simply wishing someone well may have a similarly positive effect on our moods.

35. Get active

A study that examined data from almost 34,000 people has found that as little as one-hour of exercise per week, regardless of intensity, can help to prevent depression. So, get out there and something, anything, for just an hour and you can reap the benefits!

36. Give up smoking

Sorry smokers, I know it feels like everyone is ganging up on you, and I don’t have good news for you either. Research shows that giving up smoking is linked to greater happiness and elevated mood.

37. Get enough consistent sleep

Recent research has suggested sleep should be considered a major public health concern, and shows that the effects of a good night’s sleep are as beneficial for our happiness and well-being as winning the lottery might be!

38. Play some happy music

Music has not only been proven to help people with anxiety and depression, but it is also a major key to happiness, alleviating pain, keeping your brain healthy and improving mood.

39. Take control over your life

Developing greater control over your life can help you make important life decisions and feel less overwhelmed, stuck and lost. Read on for 7 ways to take control of your life.

40. Go for a hike in the mountains or a walk along the beach

Researchers have found that simply going for a leisurely walk can improve mood and boost subjective well-being, particularly for adults who are normally sedentary.

41. Go outside

The findings are in: the more green space in the neighbourhood, the happier people report feeling. Quite simply, if you want to feel better, just go outside.

42. Be generous

Research shows giving to others activates an area of the brain linked with contentment and the reward cycle. So, performing selfless acts makes you happier.

43. Get a cat

You either love ’em or hate ’em, but the benefits are clear, cats make our lives happier and healthier.

44. Join a choir or sing with friends

Music helps to synchronise our bodies and our brains, making it the perfect social glue. Participants in a sing-along reported feeling closer and more connected because of the experience of singing together.

45. Do some volunteer work

Research has shown that volunteering is rewarding in and of itself, and helping others is a way to higher individual wellbeing.

46. Set some goals and work to achieve them

Research shows that people who are making progress toward or are achieving meaningful goals are happier. Whether they’re health and fitness goals, or family goals, or work goals, the key is to be making progress.

47. Practice gratitude

In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. One tip that has shown results is to keep a gratitude journal.

48. Forgive others

Forgiving others is a great way to let go of negativity. Follow this guide to work through the 9 steps to forgiving someone.

49. Have sex with someone you love

A number of studies have shown that sex is a key ingredient of a happy marriage — producing and ‘afterglow’ that can last up to two days.

50. Chasing happiness can have the opposite effect!

Beware chasing happiness for the sake of happiness. The above tips are all great activities you can pursue that have been proven to increase happiness and/or decrease negative moods and feelings. But it’s worth pointing out in our last tip that simply chasing happiness is not the way to find it.

Conclusion

The research shows that you can’t chase happiness, but you can fill your life with new and novel experiences, preferably shared with friends and family, that bring meaning to your life and the lives of others. If you can find the balance between the activities that you choose, and those you must do (often your day job), you might just succeed in finding happiness.

Ever wondered how to be happy? Are you looking for a few ideas or some inspiration to help reduce anxiety, cope with the stresses of modern life, or lift your mood? Here are 50 science-backed activities you can incorporate into your life that are proven to help you be happy.

Try one or try them all, try them once or make them a part of your daily, weekly or monthly habits.

But remember, as author Stephen Covey said, “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”

So, if you want to be happier or reduce stress, anxiety and negative emotions, pick a few of the below options that work for you, and schedule them into your diary to make them habits.

“Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls—family, health, friends, integrity—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”

Gary Keller

Share your tips for a happier life below! We’d love to hear them.

Don’t miss out! In 2020, we’ve got a jam-packed editorial calendar of science-backed content on topics like ‘the power of being bored’ and ‘the importance of finding ‘flow.’’ There will be reviews of books, research and talks in the positive psychology space, and we’ll be launching a new podcast called Happiness for Cynics. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out!

TED’s top 11 positive psychology talks

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Are you new to the field of positive psychology? Maybe you’re overwhelmed with all the content out there and not sure where to start?

It’s not surprising. Positive Psychology is a fairly new sub-field within the study of psychology. It is the study of happiness and looks at how people can live a more fulfilling, satisfying and meaningful life, and there has been an explosion of research and content over the past couple of decades.

To get you started on all you need to know, here’s a look at the best TED talks by some of the top positive psychology superstars around the world.

  1. Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology (23:42), July 2008. Commonly known as the founder of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman is a leading authority in the fields of Positive Psychology and resilience.
  2. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow, the secret to happiness (18:55), October 2008. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a Hungarian-American psychologist. He recognised and named the psychological concept of flow, a highly focused mental state conducive to productivity and happiness.
  3. Dan Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness (21:16), September 2006. Dan Gilbert is an author and Harvard psychologist who says our beliefs about what will make us happy are often wrong.
  4. Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness (12:46), December 2015. Robert Waldinger is a Harvard psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Zen priest and director of the longest study on adult life and happiness.
  5. Carol Dweck: The Power of Believing That You Can Improve (10:24), November 2014. Stanford university psychologist Carol Dweck researches “growth mindset” — the idea that we can grow our brain’s capacity to learn and to solve problems verses having a ‘fixed mindset.’
  6. Emily Esfahani Smith: There’s more to life than being happy (12:18), September 2017. Emily Esfahani Smith is a writer who draws on psychology, philosophy, and literature to write about the human experience—why we are the way we are and how we can find grace and meaning in a world that is full of suffering.
  7. Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability (20:19), December 2010. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of five #1 New York Times best sellers.
  8. Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work (12:20), February 2012. Shawn Achor is an American author, and speaker known for his advocacy of positive psychology. He authored The Happiness Advantage and founded GoodThink, Inc.
  9. Angela Lee Duckworth: Grit: The power of passion and perseverance (6:12), May 2013. Angela Duckworth is co-founder and CEO of Character Lab, a nonprofit that uses psychological science to help children thrive, and a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.
  10. Adam Grant: The surprising habits of original thinkers (15:25), April 2016. Adam M. Grant is an American psychologist, author and professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania specializing in organizational psychology.
  11. Susan David: The gift and power of emotional courage (16:48), January 2018. Susan David, Ph.D. a renowned psychologist and expert on emotions, happiness, and achievement, believes that one of the keys to a happy life is knowing yourself. She talks about recognising your feelings and understanding what they are really telling us.

Got a favourite Ted talk that’s not on this list? Share it below.

Don’t miss out!

In 2020, we’ve got a jam-packed editorial calendar of science-backed content on topics like ‘the power of being bored’ and ‘the importance of finding ‘flow.’’ There will be reviews of books and other resources in the positive psychology space, and we’ll be launching a new podcast called Happiness for Cynics. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out!

Wait! Here’s Why You Should Keep Giving This Holiday Season

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Another Christmas is over and for many people this means they have a lot more stuff they don’t need or want. But did you know that donating your unwanted Christmas stuff will make you happier and sexier?

With an increased awareness of the impacts of global warming on our planet, it’s no surprise that this year has seen an explosion of zero-waste, DIY and minimalist Christmas gift tips.

Despite being far more conscious of the ecological impact of our Christmas shopping, in Australia $980 million in presents will not be used, and in the UK it is estimated that £2.2 billion worth of presents are unwanted, whereas in the U.S. Americans return nearly $90 billion worth of gifts every year.

So, as you start to pack down your Christmas tree, box those decorations for next year, and vacuum the tinsel from the corners of every room, it’s a great time to also do a clean out of your wardrobe, garage and cupboards to see what you could donate.

Decluttering is good for the soul

As bestselling author and tidying expert Marie Kondo says, if it doesn’t spark joy, let it go.

The Konmari method aims to help people live a life that sparks joy by making room for meaningful objects, people and experiences.

“Tidy your space, transform your life.”

Marie Kondo

In our house, we have a one-in-one-out motto for non-essential items, which means that for any item of clothing, entertainment or decoration that we buy, we have to let go of an old item. It’s amazing how this has changed how I shop. I used to pick up items I liked off a shelf and if I could afford it, I’d buy it. Now, I often find myself picking up an item off a shelf and saying, “It’s nice, but I don’t need it.” …much to the amusement of my husband who always thought that way.

I also don’t find myself at shopping centres as often, and find I am more content with what I have. It’s also far easier to clean my house when there’s less stuff lying around.

So, while you’re already cleaning up and packing down after Christmas, why not take a look at what you received this Christmas, and what you already have, and see what you could let go of.

Giving also makes you sexier

If the above reasons aren’t enough to convince you to donate, then consider that being altruistic makes you sexier to the opposite sex. A 2016 study by the British Journal of Psychology found that participants who were given $100 in potential monetary winnings and who were willing to donate that money, also reported having more lifetime and/or casual sex partners over the previous year. In short, altruists get more sex.

Here are some fabulous charities that could use your ‘gently-used’ donations

  • Dress for Success improves the employability of women in need by providing free professional clothing, a network of support and the career development tools to help women achieve self-sufficiency. Donate your work clothes to give a woman a new start.
  • The Red Cross* provides clothing for victims of natural disasters, and the Red Cross Shops sell new and donated clothes, accessories and homewares to raise funds to help people in need.
  • The Salvation Army* serves 130 countries around the globe. It is an evangelical part of the universal Christian Church which aims to meet human needs in His name without discrimination. Donations help serve the most vulnerable members of your community.
  • Ronald McDonald House* was an absolute saviour for my family, allowing my mother to stay for free within minutes of the hospital at which my 12-year-old sister was being given the treatment she needed to save her life. These homes away from home serve all types of families, so your donated games, toys and household items could go a long way to bringing some joy to these families during a tough time. Make sure you call ahead before dropping off goods.

*Australian links provided, but you can Google these charities in most countries around the world.

Leave a comment below if you know of other worthy charities!

Don’t miss out! Subscribe today!

In 2020, we’ve got a jam-packed editorial calendar of science-backed content on topics like ‘the power of being bored’ and ‘the importance of finding ‘flow.’’ There will be reviews of books and TedX talks in the positive psychology space, and we’ll be launching a new podcast called Happiness for Cynics. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out!

5 Easy Projects to Rediscover Your Christmas Spirit

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Life’s busy, and it gets even more busy toward the end of the year. As the calendar switches to December, the demands on our time seem to double overnight. From the catch-ups with old colleagues and office Christmas parties, to trying to get something personal and meaningful (and appropriately priced) for everyone on your list, to trying to tie up everything at work while planning travel arrangements for the family, while juggling the usual life to-do list. Quite simply, it can all just be a bit much, and what should be a happy time of year with friends and family can turn into a burden to ‘get through’ as quickly as possible so life can return to normal.

It’s a shame though. Consumerism aside, there are so many good things about the Christmas holidays, regardless of your faith. It teaches gratefulness and giving, and it strengthens social connection, which are all scientifically proven to increase your happiness and mental wellbeing.

Christmas is also the perfect time to dust off those craft supplies, or buy some new ones, and immerse yourself in an activity for a few hours while creating something for others.

The good news is that it doesn’t take much to re-centre yourself and start feeling those Christmas happy vibes. In positive psychology, the state of flow, coined by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi in 1975, is when a person is fully immersed in performing an activity that gives them a feeling of energized focus, full involvement and enjoyment in the process of the activity.

So, find your flow! Here are five easy and cheap homemade gift ideas to help you find your Christmas mojo and rediscover your appreciation of the festive season.

Self-Care Box

gift basket

If you have friends who are going through a tough time, or who might have to spend Christmas alone, what better way to show you care than making them a self-care box. Charleigh at Charleighwrites recently posted a few ideas you could try.

Mason Jars Succulent Box

Why not build a box filled with a selection of budding plants. This versatile gift will brighten up someone special’s place or it’s also a relatively safe gift for someone you don’t know well. LifeStorageBlog has a great tutorial for making these, and it’s a great way to reuse old glass jars.

Flavoured Vodka

Throughout the year, keep all your empty glass bottles and jars so you can make some flavoured vodka gifts bottles. These are great as economical thank you gifts during the festive season for all those parties you’ll be going to! Make sure you also create your own bespoke label for your new vodka inventions, so people know what’s in there. Check out this GoodFood article for tips.

Scented Candles

Candles are another easy and cheap project you can tackle to create a personalised present for someone these holidays. Just pop into your local craft or hobby store or go online to buy the ingredients and supplies. All you need is a few leftover crayons from the kids to colour the wax, or about 10 to 15 drops of essential oil per pound of solid wax for fragrance. Watch this great video from Jami Ray Vintage with some insider tips to help first-timers.

Christmas Cookies

Nothing says homemade Christmas present like a plate of Christmas cookies. This is a great activity that you can also do with family and the kids, with everyone getting to express their creative side while decorating the cookies. Check out I Am Baker’s list of the 40 best Christmas Cookies for inspiration.

Do you have other ideas for activities to get into the Christmas spirit? Let us know below!

5 Ways to Teach Kids Resiliency and Happiness

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Change is here to stay. In fact, the rate of change is only going to get exponentially faster, leaving the unprepared feeling burnt out and frazzled. We’re living in a Change Storm. That’s why it’s so important to teach our next generation about how to cope with the ever-evolving world we live in.

Think about it. We teach kids to read and write, we teach math, science and history, but nobody teaches kids how to deal with the complicated business of existence itself. Who is teaching kids the social and emotional skills needed to navigate life in a mentally and physically healthy way?

Sorry, I don’t have the answer for you, but I do have 5 great products that can help your kids develop the mental and emotional skills needed to become resilient, emotionally mature and happy adults.

Big Life Journal

The Big Life Journal

The Big Life Journal is a kids’ workbook that is designed to help kids develop a growth and resilient mindset so they can face life’s challenges with confidence. The activities in the book encourage better self-esteem and resilience, while infusing a love a learning and an openness to taking on new challenges. Find this on Amazon.

Awesome Ends In Me gratitude journal

Awesome ends in ME is a guided gratitude journal which teaches kids how to get the most out of practicing gratitude. The book also includes activities so kids aged 5-12 can learn to manage emotions, create a growth mindset, focus on their strengths, create meaningful connections, and maintain healthy habits to live a happy life. Available on Amazon or check out the AwesoME Inc website for some great adult products too.

Superhero Strengths: Card Game

This is a fun game for kids and teens aged 6-14, teaching skills in strength, coping, feelings, resilience and relationships. Kids play the role of superhero collectors while learning to identify their strengths, deal with feelings, build coping skills, and improve resilience. Available on Amazon.

The Tower of Self Esteem

This game helps kids learn to choose positivity and while boosting self-confidence and social skills with creativity, problem solving and teamwork. Kids work with family and friends to build a joint tower in additional to a personal tower using cards that instil positive thinking. For ages 6 and up, available on Amazon.

No Waries Social Emotional Game

This fast-paced game for kids and adults ages 5+ is based on the classic game called War. It helps kids learn new feeling and emotion words, gaining an understanding of a variety of emotions so they can acquire and apply social emotional skills. Visit Amazon to puchase.

UPDATE: New product!

Snakes and Ladders: Climb to Emotional Maturity

Since posting this article, I have also come across a great game by The School of Life which teaches kids about emotional life. They’ve reworked the old Snakes and Ladders game: the ladders represent all those moments when you learn how to be more of a grown-up, the snakes the times when you end up acting, against your better nature, like a tantrum-prone toddler. Visit The School of Life’s website to order the game.

Comment below! Do you have other recommendations for great products that can help children develop the skills to be happy and resilient adults? Tell us below in the comments.

How Caregivers Can Stay Resilient

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There’s a special place in heaven for caregivers.

With an ageing population, caregiving is something that more and more of us will have to step into at some time in our lives. It’s an often-thankless role, involving putting one’s own needs aside, neglecting oneself even, to focus solely on the care and comfort of a loved one.

Who is Caring for the Caregivers?

Looking after others, particularly if they’re approaching the end of their lives, can be the hardest thing a person can go through. Yet, all the focus is often on the person who is sick.

The simple fact is that the psychological, social and health impacts of caring for others can take its toll on even the most resilient and positive of people, and more often than not, the role of caregiver also ends with devastating heartache.

When I was in hospital following a motorbike accident, my husband took time off work and was constantly by my side for weeks. He eventually had to go back to work, or risk losing his job, but he continued to visit me every evening as soon as he could and would stay until the nurses told him to leave for the night.

After leaving the hospital, he would go home and start the household chores, which had suddenly all fallen to him. He’d cook and prepare meals for the week, he’d do the laundry, clean the house, pay the bills, feed the cat and take her to the vet for vaccinations. He lived among a pile of boxes for months, as we had only just bought our first apartment and hadn’t yet moved in when the accident happened.

His life revolved around me… my doctors visits, my surgeries, my recovery. But in some ways, he was lucky, because he could escape the banality of my hospital room and the stress of the situation and go to work for 9 hours a day. He got a small reprieve every day – granted it was only work – but many don’t. Still, it was hard on him, I could see it.

The good news is that research shows us that caregivers who practice positive emotion skills benefit greatly, with increases in positive moods and ultimately less depression.

Caring for the Caregivers

Researcher Judith Moskowitz explains that building moments of positivity into caregivers’ weeks can help to cope with the stressors of caregiving and can build your resiliency to deal with what’s going on in your life.

“We’re really clear in this intervention—or we try to be—that this is not about pretending like things aren’t bad or difficult, or that you’re not distressed or stressed. It’s about understanding that you can experience positive emotion alongside the negative. The negative is what it is; it should be acknowledged and addressed if it’s at high levels that are unsustainable,” said Judith in an interview with Greater Good Magazine.

Here are three types of interventions, backed by Judith and her team’s research, that you can take to help bring more positivity and resilience into your life as a caregiver:

  1. Being thankful: Take the time every day to notice the positive things you have in your life. Every evening before bed, write down 2-3 things that you are thankful for and, over time, watch your outlook on life change.
  2. Mindfulness: Adapted from Buddhist practices, everyday mindfulness is about being self-aware and accepting of our thoughts. It is proven to reduce stress and can help to make you feel better. There are plenty of resources online to help you develop mindfulness practices.
  3. Goal setting: Make sure you set some goals outside of the immediate needs of caregiving and work to achieve them. Having goals and something to work towards give additional meaning to your life and is critical for This could be as simple as planning and going on a picnic or a weekend getaway, or you could focus on developing or mastering a skill.

So, please, take the time to look after yourselves too caregivers! And if you think you don’t have time to dedicate to yourself, then let me leave you with the most important takeaway from Judith’s research: people who were happier were better caregivers.

Related content: Read Moving On article Resiliency Is About Recharging And Self-Care, But Are You Doing It Wrong? , listen to our Podcast: Positive Affirmations (E29)

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How to Make Cooking Fun Again

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It’s True, I Find Cooking Boring

Here’s my truth: I hate cooking. My food never looks as good as the photos in Women’s Day (eg. see above for how good my food never looks), and it certainly doesn’t taste as good as the food in restaurants. I lack inspiration almost every night, and often just give up and order take out.
 
When I do cook, I reuse recipes that work, oldies but goodies that I know are quick and easy and even I can’t mess them up. But even then, the day to day struggle of deciding what to cook for dinner can suck all the enjoyment out of the task. I never thought deciding what to cook for dinner could be such a source of stress!

After working all day, my thought process generally follows this pattern:

Me: oh crap what are we going to eat tonight? Hmmm, what’s in the fridge, oh yeah we have lettuce and half a tomato that need to be eaten, maybe we can have tacos…. it’s quick and easy and cheap too, But we had tacos a few days ago… I’ll just swing past the shops and see what inspires me, I’m sure there’s something at the supermarket that will give me a better idea.

Significant other *coming into the kitchen an hour later* Tacos again?

Me: Yep

Let’s be honest, after doing the same thing every evening for any number of years, most tasks would likely fail to inspire. But, the other day, I invited some friends around for dinner and the whole experience was new and fun again. I got to googling and planned a meal, picked some wines, set the table, kicked my hovering husband out of the kitchen, and got to work creating my masterpiece.

When Did We Stop Inviting People Over For Dinner?

You see, this was a rare occasion in our house. We always have good friends over, and being Australian BBQs are a stable part of our lives, but having a sit down dinner with people around a table and copious amount of wine…? Well, not so much. 

I can’t for the life of me work out why we don’t have people over for dinner more often. I can still remember my mum cleaning off the orangey-brown fondue set for when guests would come over. I remember the three courses she’d serve up after hours of prep time in the kitchen. I remember being on my best behaviour and sitting quietly at the table otherwise I wouldn’t get dessert, then being excused as quickly as I could to get away from the boredom of adult conversation which flowed, along with the wine,  until late in the evening.

Cooking For Friends Is Good For The Soul

Somewhere along the way, I lost that inclination and with it the joy that it brings. So, the other night, with sore cheeks from laughing and my friends sitting around the table, I thought “I need to do this more often. It’s so good for my soul.”

And there is actual science to back-up my new-found inspiration. You see, cooking is a way of nurturing people and sharing a meal is a great way to create deeper social bonds.

Cooking is also a form of self-care, and if you’re mindful and take the time to enjoy the process, you can reap the benefits of preparing a meal for others.

I’m still no chef, and I still don’t like cooking, but it was a surprisingly fun night, with great friends and lots of laughs, and despite my fears, the plates were all clean in the end.

Related content: Read Moving On article What You Didn’t Know About Practicing Kindness

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3 Habits of Positive People

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Robert Collier, one of America’s original self-help authors who believed happiness and abundance were achievable by everyone, once famously said “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”

What if positivity was the same, and all you had to do was repeat the same few habits and you could be a happy person?

Well, the research shows that’s exactly how it works. You can train your brain to be more positive and happier! Here’s the science backed way to do it.

1. Practice Being Grateful, Every Day

Write down 3 things you’re grateful for each day.

“In just a two-minute span of time, done for 21 days in a row, we can actually rewire your brain, allowing your brain to work more optimistically and more successfully,” says psychologist and CEO of Good Think Inc., Shawn Achor, in his Ted Talk The Happy Secret to Better Work.

Shawn and his team have worked with a whole lot of companies, and by the time they’ve finished this simple exercise people’s brains are starting to retain a pattern of scanning the world for the positive first, not the negative. If that doesn’t work for you, try making it a habit to talk to your family each night about one positive experience you’ve had that day – this allows your brain to relive it. 2.

2. Exercise Regularly

This one is tried and true. We’ve heard it all our lives, do exercise, it’s good for you in so, so, so many ways.

There are a whole lot of YouTube videos for 10- and 20-minutes exercise sessions you can do before work or bed each day. Make sure you start small and work your way up. Remember it’s better to do a bit somewhat regularly, rather than a lot all at once then quit.

If you’ve never really been into exercise in the past, I recommend starting in your lounge room, with a 10-minute exercise like this one for beginners or for a more intense cardio workout try this session from Brookes. Try doing this three times per week for a month, then try making this a regular pre- or post-work habit and doing it five times a week. After a few months, or when it becomes too easy, move to a 15-minute session.

3. Make it a Habit to be Nice

And finally, be nice. If you make being nice or kind a habit, you become more positive and see more niceness in others’ actions and around you.

On top of that, according to Dr. Ritchie Davidson at the University of Wisconsin, being nice makes you nicer too! “It’s kind of like weight training, we found that people can actually build up their compassion ‘muscle’ and respond to others’ suffering with care and a desire to help,” says Ritchie.

Check out these other studies that show the benefits of being nice. There are so many easy and free things you can do to be nice, such as writing an email to thank a colleague for a job well done, or leaving positive comments on a blog or online article. For more inspiration and resources, visit https://www.randomactsofkindness.org.

The research is conclusive and shows you can train your brain just like you train your body. Life’s too short to not be happy with it, why not put these 3 things into practice today?

Related content: Read Moving On article TED’s top 11 positive psychology talks

Tell me what you do to stay positive in the comments below!

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