Happiness for Cynics podcast
Join Marie and Pete as the discuss the passion paradigm, and how it could be contributing to the great resignation we are currently experiencing.
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Coming soon
happy
How to remain youthful and resilient despite stress
Jolanta Burke, RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences and Padraic J. Dunne, RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences
A bit of stress can be good for your mental and physical wellbeing, but too much can lead to anxiety, depression and other health problems. It can also make you age faster. So learning to become more stress-resilient is important if you’re not in a hurry to grow old fast.
Studies have shown that people who aren’t good at managing their stress can increase their risk of dying prematurely by 43%. The increase in deaths might in part be due to the effect stress has on DNA.
DNA, which is found in nearly every cell (except red blood cells), contains genes that code for the building blocks (proteins) that comprise your body. DNA consists of two strands woven together in the famous “double helix”. Your cells are constantly making copies of themselves, and when a cell divides, the two strands unravel and an identical copy is made of each – well, most of the time.
Sometimes mistakes happen during the replication process, especially at the end of DNA strands. These mistakes can cause mutations in the copied DNA, leading to the cell becoming cancerous. Luckily, cells have protective caps called telomeres at the ends of the DNA strand that are designed to ensure these mistakes don’t happen.
Telomere caps are like sequences of beads (telomeric repeats). Each time the cell divides, the next generation loses one bead of telomeric repeats. Unfortunately, each cell has a fixed number of these repeats, meaning that it can only replicate a certain number of times before the protective telomere caps are eroded. This number of cell divisions is called the Hayflick limit. Once a cell reaches the Hayflick limit (up to 60 cell divisions, for most cells), it self-destructs (safely). This is the essence of ageing.
Some cells in the body, especially the immune cells that fight infection, possess molecules called telomerase. Telomerase can add the beads back (telomeric repeats) in immune cells (and some others, such as cancerous cells), meaning that ageing can be reversed in these cells. Telomerase can add the beads back, meaning that ageing can be reversed in the cells in question.
This makes sense as immune cells have to replicate many times to fight viruses and bacteria. Without telomerase, they would reach their Hayflick limit and disappear, leaving organisms with no protection. Unfortunately, however, even telomerase stops working properly when people reach their 80s and lose their immune cells to ageing.
It’s not all beyond your control
Smoking, excess alcohol consumption, being overweight and stress are all associated with telomere loss. Telomerase does not work as efficiently when a person suffers from excessive stress, and this causes premature ageing.
Adopting a healthy lifestyle, such as eating a plant-based diet, can stop and even reverse the process. And physical activity, especially intense exercise, can also increase telomerase activity. So leading a healthy life can decrease the speed of ageing as can managing your stress.
As we mentioned earlier, not all stress is bad. In psychology, we differentiate between “eustress” (positive stress), which is necessary for us to succeed at work, in sport and relationships, and “distress” (negative stress), when pressure becomes too much for us to manage. Distress is what most of us mean when we say or feel that we are stressed; it is also what might speed up ageing in your cells.
So there is no need to protect yourself from all stress, only the distress that lasts for a long time, is relentless and prevents you from living your life to the full.
Embracing stressful events and using coping strategies such as seeking help from friends or becoming resourceful when dealing with challenges, can create stress resilience, which in turn is associated with longer telomeres. Also, reappraising an anxiety-provoking event, such as taking on a public speaking engagement, by perceiving it as exciting can help you to manage stress. These techniques can stop eustress from becoming distress and enhance stress resilience.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back after adversity and become resistant to daily stressors. Besides problem-solving, social support and effective use of coping strategies, mindfulness can also help you become more resistant to daily stressors.
Other techniques include doing things that enhance your positive emotions, such as reading a book, listening to music, or playing a computer game. Experiencing positive emotions broadens your mind, allowing you to perceive and draw from your psychological, intellectual and social resources, especially when experiencing adversity.
We can’t yet be sure that these psychological strategies affect telomeres and by extension the ageing process. However, telomere length and telomerase activity in your cells do seem to be negatively affected by stress and positively affected by stress management. So if you have lifestyle changes you can make to help you develop stress resilience, you might want to adopt them. They might not make you live as long as an Arctic shark, but they could add some precious years onto your life.
Jolanta Burke, Senior Lecturer, Centre for Positive Psychology and Health, RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences and Padraic J. Dunne, Lecturer, Centre of Positive Psychology and Health, RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and weekly email newsletter for regular updates and news!
The Happiness Gene: Are We Born Happy?
Philosophers, scientists and psychologists have been pondering this question for centuries, engaging in countless studies and analyses of the human condition to find an answer to Are We Born Happy? Why do certain people have the gift of being intrinsically at peace, while others are caught in the grips of depression and sadness, feeling trapped in the quicksand of everyday life? Unfortunately, the answer to whether we are born intrinsically happy is not entirely clear, but research does confirm that all of us come into this world with a specific “happiness gene.” So there you have it, right? If we all have this gene, we all should be happy.
Well… not so quick. Like most things in life, not all things are created equal. And, when it comes to science, especially as it relates to the human body, there are almost always conditions to every conclusion.
A Little About The Happiness Gene
Researchers have identified that being happy is engrained in our DNA nearly from the point of conception because of a specific gene identified as 5-HTT or “the happiness gene.” This means that all of us have this gene. On its face, this revelation would SEEM to suggest that all of us should exit the womb happy, grow up happy and live happy lives. Great… so why is that not the case?
Because there are exceptions to every rule, even in science. Research conducted by Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, a behavioural economist at the London School of Economics, and a study by the Journal of Human Genetics suggests that all of us are predisposed to be happy BUT that doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed over the long haul. When we dig a little deeper into the science and research that has been done on the subject of the “happiness gene,” the answer to “Are We Born Happy?” becomes a bit more complicated.
Understanding the Science
The 5-HTT gene carries the code for serotonin receptors. Serotonin, a primary “feel good” neurotransmitter, requires a receptor on our cell walls for them to attach to in order to exert their effects. So, while this “happiness gene” does not get involved in making serotonin it is necessary for it to work. The 5-HTT gene varies from person to person meaning it can be either short or long. Researchers embarked upon a definitive study to determine whether a short or long 5-HTT gene had any correlation with happiness levels. They did this by asking participants in their study whether they were very satisfied, satisfied, dissatisfied, very dissatisfied or “none of the above” with their life as whole. They then matched their genetic makeup to these results, remembering that every person has two codes for the 5-HTT gene: one from their mother and one from their father.
Among those who had a long-long version of the 5-HTT gene, 69 per cent said they were very satisfied or satisfied with life. Only 19 per cent of those with the short-short version were satisfied or very satisfied. This illustrates a very strong link between the 5-HTT gene and happiness, although it does not say that genetics are the whole story. What this does tell us, though, is why we each have a unique baseline level of happiness and why some people tend to be happier than others. (Source: Journal of Human Genetics)
Clearly, genetics play a significant role (nearly 50%) in how we present ourselves to the world. Physically, there is not much we can do to change how we look, walk, talk, our mannerisms, etc.
Emotionally and psychologically, however, even the researchers acknowledge that there are additional factors, including other genes, external circumstances, environmental factors, and our individual actions and thoughts, that combine to impact our ability to be happy.
We are, if you will, predisposed to be happy if we are born with the long version of the gene; unfortunately, those with the short version of the happiness gene might not be so lucky. So, how do we know, and it does it really matter? And if we are truly “born happy,” why do many of us struggle with finding our personal happy place?
The Dalai Lama is widely quoted as saying that “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” Personally, I believe this to be true. But putting this principle into practice can, at times, be insurmountable. It’s just not as easy as it sounds. Yes, we are all born with the so-called “happiness gene.” But that is just one part of a complex internal ecosystem that is different for everyone. No two individuals are exactly the same, which makes our existence both beautiful and complex.
On the one hand, it is clear that most of us want to create certain feelings like passion, excitement, purpose, love and other emotions that make us happy. But this journey to happiness can often fall flat because we set unreasonable expectations for ourselves and others or look in all the wrong places. And, in other instances, some people who are generally perceived as being happy can experience certain circumstances in their lives that turn their world upside down leaving them sad, angry and a shell of their former selves.
The good news is that most people generally find their way to – or back to – their own baseline for what makes them happy. Life can be challenging to navigate but perhaps we can all find solace in knowing that our body is predisposed from birth to be happy! Much like being genetically predisposed to being happy, we are also capable of facing our challenges believing in our ability to be resilient. We can overcome external and environmental factors that affect our happiness, as well as obstacles that will inevitably come our way. I’ve done it – you can, too.
Significantly Boost Your Happiness With 3 Daily Habits Under 10 Minutes
Can you boost your happiness?
Ever wanted to boost your happiness? Well you can! Everyone has a set point for happiness – where our natural happiness levels sit. Some people are just a bit happier than others, while others are just a bit more negative than others. But with just a tiny bit of time and some consistent effort, research is showing that some very easy habits can help to increase our happiness set point.
In this article, we explore 3 daily habits you can bring into your life that only take 10 minutes or less to significantly boost your happiness levels. Read on!
Make Gratitude a Habit
We’re all wired to scan our environment for bad things. Afterall, the ancestor who failed to see the lion stalking them from the bushes wouldn’t survive long enough to care about fine art or mastering their chosen profession. But where does that leave the modern-day man or woman?
We may no longer have to worry about lions, but in today’s day and age there are even more things we have to worry about. There’s all the day-to-day stresses of our job, if we’re lucky to have one – and even if we do have a job, who knows how long we’ll keep it. Then there’s keeping up with friends, which costs money and is a killer for our self-esteem – trying to save enough to buy a house, worrying about having enough for retirement, but not worrying too much because you might forget to live for today. Engaging with friends on social media, and being interesting enough, pretty enough… heck, just having enough friends to engage with. Watching enough TV to keep up to date with what everyone else is talking about, but not too much because we all know sitting is the new smoking.
I could go on… and on. Today’s modern (capitalist) world is designed to keep us fretting – and coming back for more – so that it can seem like we’re constantly anxious, stressed, frustrated or worried about something.
That’s where gratitude comes in. Practicing gratitude is super simple, really quick and can completely rewire your brain. By spending just a few minutes everyday on writing down 3 things that you’re grateful for (or I prefer to write down three things that went well), you are teaching your brain to balance out all those negative thoughts with some positive ones. Over time, your brain literally rewires itself to see more of the good things in life. So, your brain will stop to smell the flowers, so to speak. This helps to build resilience against the all bad things that happen in life and all those negative emotions and day-to-day stressors.
If writing down things that you’re grateful for isn’t your jam, you can also get huge benefits from thanking others – and so do they! Simply make it a daily habit to give a heartfelt thanks to someone every day. Whether they’re your partner, or family member or colleague, spreading thanks will cheer up the people around you and come back to you in positive vibes!
Not sold yet? A recent study showed that saying thanks in the right way can also strengthen your social bonds. When it came to thanking our loved ones, the key was to focus on how responsive they were to your needs. According to the researchers, saying something like: “I wouldn’t have made it to the meeting on time if you didn’t drop me off at the office today,” tended to produce the most positive response from a partner.
Related reading: Top 5 Speakers on Gratitude
Get Your Heart Pumping
Most of us know we need to exercise more. We also know how important exercise is to our health and happiness, but so many of us hate it, or just simply can’t find the motivation to do it. Whether you’re too busy, or unmotivated, or kinda motivated but just not when it counts, one of the easiest ways to make something stick is to make it so quick and easy that it’s almost harder not to do it.
In his bestselling book, Atomic Habits, James Clear advocates for 10 steps to make habits stick. Among them are three that really resonate when it comes to finding a way to fit exercise into your day.
Build a system for getting 1 per cent better every day. That’s it! Only 1 per cent! You don’t need to climb Kilimanjaro on your first attempt, heck you don’t even have to go to the gym. In fact, recent research has shown that simply doing 10 minutes of high intensity interval training (HIIT) can have significant benefits. A HIIT workout is super intense and is about getting your heart rate up quickly and working really hard for a short amount of time. There are plenty of 10-minute HIIT workouts on YouTube you can easily do in your living room for free.
Design your environment to make success easier. One of the hardest things about starting a new exercise routine is actually starting it. Whether you’re going to do a HIIT workout, or a 10-minute fast walk around your neighbourhood, just getting to that first workout can be insurmountable. So, make it as easy as possible to get going. For the first few weeks, why not select the HIIT workout you want to try the night before and set it up on the TV and go to bed in your gym clothes with your gym shoes next to the bed. Or organise to meet a friend for that walk, so you have to cancel (which is a hassle) if you aren’t feeling like it. Anything you can do to make it easier to do the activity than not will help you to do it.
Make tiny, easy changes that deliver big results. Again, don’t go for it all at once. Go easy on yourself. Start with twice a week, or even once a week. And if you don’t hit your target, forgive yourself, BUT KEEP GOING the next week. This will happen at some point, so be prepared and know that you’ll still keep pushing forward. Only once your habit has become second nature should you even attempt to add more time to your workout or do it more often in your week. You don’t want to scare yourself off!
Bring Some Laughter Into Your Day
Laughter is natures wonder drug. It makes you feel happier, not only in the moment, but also in the long-term; it also helps to dull pain. It lowers blood pressure and reduce stress. The list goes on and on – see The Mayo Clinic for a range of research and writing on the positive effects of laughter for stress reduction.
But did you know that you can really easily and simply add it into your day in only 60-second!?
Grab your phone and start the timer. For the first 10 seconds, laugh out loud. You don’t have to feel it, you just need to vocalise ‘ha-ha-ha’ a few times. Think of it like an acting class with really bad acting. It doesn’t have to be authentic laughter to begin with, just do it.
Once you’ve done 10-seconds of ‘ha-ha-has,’ breathe deeply for the next 10-seconds. Repeat these two steps two more times and you’re done. That’s it! It really couldn’t be more simple! The key to this exercise is to commit to doing it every morning for a couple of weeks (at least). What have you got to lose?
Related reading: Yep, laughter really is the best medicine
Want to learn more about how to boost your happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & happiness and resilience resources!
How to Start your Day in a Happy Mood
I get it, for some people life is just one never-ending to-do list, and the hectic pace of our lives and all that external stimuli means that our sleep is constantly being interrupted. For others, biology has other ideas and we’re forced every night to consider whether we can ‘make it through’ or ‘have to get up and go.’ Then there are those who for no real reason simply are not morning people, and rather than starting their day in a happy mood, it can take hours to get going or put a smile on their face. (I won’t even mention new parents – you’re in a league of your own. Good luck with that life choice!)
Yet this all puts demands on our sleep, leading to us waking up feeling tired, drowsy and emotionally flat.
But did you know that you can actually train yourself to become a morning person? According to a study from Cornell University, sleep and happiness are closely connected and building the right habits for a better night of sleep can help you to start the day in a happier mood. So, read on and learn some tips and habits for you to use that might make mornings a bit easier, and help you start the day in a happy mood.
7 Things You Can Do to Start your Day in a Happy Mood
Here are some happiness habits to get your days off to a good start and put you in a happy mood before tackling whatever life throws at you.
1. Prep Before Bed
There are many happiness habits that you can use to prep yourself and your space before heading to bed for the next day. In fact, setting up routines is one of the best ways to signal to your body that it’s time to wind down and sleep.
Start by establishing a night-time routine. Before bed, why not take a few minutes to declutter your bedroom. It’s like ticking off things from your to-do list. Fold clothes and put some items away to not only declutter your room but also to get them out of your cluttered subconscious.
Gently stretching before bedtime is not only good for your body but also a great way to relax and release any tension you may have built up throughout the day.
If you’re sluggish in the mornings, then try setting out your outfit and supplies the night before so you can almost sleepwalk yourself through your morning routine. Prepping the night before minimises the number of decisions you have to make in the morning and allows you to get ready without wasting or energy making decisions while getting anxious as you run out of time to make your morning commute.
2. Get Enough Sleep
This is one of the most important tips we can give about how to start your day off happy. Sleep is a basic human need, just like eating and drinking water, and there is a huge correlation between mental health and sleep and how important it is for you to get a good night’s rest.
“Imagine a silent epidemic wreaking havoc on our health, endangering our safety and straining our relationships with family and loved ones. The body count rises dramatically, yet no presidential task forces are assembled, no big celebrity fund-raisers are held and very little outcry is heard I the media. As a result, millions of afflicted people go on as if nothing is amiss and the spread of the disease continues unabated. This is not imaginary scenario. The plague is upon us. It’s called fatigue.” Sara Mednick, sleep researcher in the department of Psychology at UC Riverside.
The impacts of not getting enough sleep are huge and impact every single aspect of our lives, from lower immune system which can lead to allergies, asthma, colds and flus and cancers, as well as heart attacks in women, weight issues, diabetes, drops in energy levels (particularly as we try to treat low energy levels with sugars and fats).
Not only that, but the aging process speeds up and our sex drive is diminished. Cognitive performance drops, as do productivity, memory, performance, intelligence and creativity. Also, as long-term memory is solidified when we sleep, getting enough sleep helps to embed and retain material.
Finally, as mentioned above, there is a direct link to poor or insufficient sleep and our moods and happiness levels. Consistent poor sleep (without recovery) leads to unhealthy stress, with researchers showing that many people who say they are stressed just need better sleep. Poor or insufficient sleep also leads to poor moods, depression, more arguments, anger and poor behaviour. This often impacts the relationships in our lives by leading to conflict with loved ones, friends or colleagues.
Researchers have also found that when you’re tired, you experience happiness less. So if you get a promotion when you’re tired, you won’t appreciate it or enjoy it as much as if you’d had a good night’s sleep.
So, what should you aim for? Ideally, as an adult, you should aim to wake up naturally (without an alarm clock), after 8 hours of sleep. If you get up a bit earlier or a bit later, just trust your body has slept for as long as it needs.
Read: Is a Good Night’s Sleep the key to Sustained Happiness?
3. Do Some Light Exercise or Stretching
We’d mentioned before that stretching is an important happiness habit to use during your night-time routine, but it can also be essential to a productive morning routine. Doing some light exercise like a quick walk around the block, or having a good stretch in the morning will wake up your body and get your blood pumping.
It doesn’t have to be anything too intense or complicated. You can easily find 10-15 minute videos online of exercise, stretching, or yoga routines that are designed to help you start your day off happy.
Read: 9 Small Ways To Add Exercise Into Your Day Without Exercising
4. Do Something You’re Passionate About
This tip for how to start your day in a happy mood is all about you. What’s your go-to activity that brings you joy? Maybe you want to carve out 10-15 minutes to meditate, or maybe you’re someone who likes to cook and make yourself fun breakfasts with the kids. You might spend some time journaling, or painting, listening to a podcast or calling friends or family overseas (particularly if it’s really early).
Regardless of what your interests are or what you’re passionate about, it’s worth identifying your passions and carving out a little time in your morning routine. Doing something you love in the morning will automatically put you in a happier mood, making your day better from the start.
Whether you realise you need this or not, this tip is critical for helping you to bring some balance and additional happiness into your life. If your routine is to roll out of bed, go straight to work, come home tired, eat dinner, watch some TV or scrolling through your phone and doing it all again the next day… then you’re not prioritising your happiness.
Read: 5 Cheap Ways to Live a Happy Life
5. Get Inspired or Learn Something New
Learning something new is an essential part of creating a happy environment for yourself and a great way to start your day in a happy mood. Our brains develop more and release happy chemicals when we learn something new or stimulate them with exciting information.
This doesn’t have to be a complicated or expensive happiness habit; it can just include watching a TedTalk during breakfast or listening to a podcast on your way to work. This type of habit will put you in a happy mood just by stimulating your brain and getting your gears turning.
Not only that, but according to global consulting firm McKinsey & Company, “studies show that workers who maintain their ability to learn outpace other professionals. The people who will thrive in the 21st century will be those who embrace lifelong learning and continually increase their knowledge, skills, and competencies.”
Finally, it turns out that developing a growth mindset and lifelong learning habits are skills that will benefit you well into retirement too. A recent study showed that people who keep their mind sharp in retirement tend to live longer.
Read: Is Your Mindset Holding Back Your Growth and Happiness?
6. Put Away Your Smartphone
AmeriSleep.com has written about why we use alarm clocks and why they are important, acknowledging that while it would be nice for us all to wake up naturally, the reality is that life is not set up that way. Staying up late or having a troubled night’s sleep can disrupt our internal clock and without an alarm, we’d often be late for our commitments.
Having said that, an alarm on your smartphone isn’t the same as a traditional alarm clock. Keeping your smartphone in your room and having it be the first thing you reach for in the morning can lead to mindless social media and internet surfing, which has been shown to negatively impact mental health.
Subjecting yourself to social media as soon as you wake up gives others control over how your day begins. Instead, take control and make your morning time about you and what you need to be happy in life. Prioritise and schedule your happiness needs and start your day in a proactive and positive way.
So, why not buy an old-school alarm clock and keep off your phone first thing in the morning. You will be in a much happier mood if you take control of the start of your day.
Read: Your 6 step Social Media Detox (and why you Need one NOW)
7. Express Gratitude to Start your Day in a Happy Mood
Serious about starting your day in a happy mood? A really healthy happiness habit to put into practice for yourself is to start your day off with gratitude. When you first wake up, think of the things you are grateful for in your life. It’s even more effective if you jot them down to make them more real. This habit will put you in a happy mood by reminding yourself of the positive aspects of your life that you are grateful for. It’s also proven to help you throughout your day to continue to scan the world for other positive things – essentially retraining your brain to be happier.
And it’s all linked! A study by Emmons & McCullough published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology showed that participants who kept a gratitude journal weekly for 10 weeks or daily for two weeks experienced more positive moods, optimism about the future, and (yep, you guessed it)… better sleep!
Read: How to Practice Gratitude, and Why You Should do it
All of these habits of happiness will make a huge difference in your mornings and how to start your day in a happy mood. After all, how you start your day and the mood you’re in when you get up is often reflected throughout the day. These easy habits and tricks can make it easier for you to take control of your mornings and carry that positive energy with you, either on your way to work or whatever else you have going on day-to-day.
Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for the latest positive psychology news and happiness and resilience resources!
The Smell of Happiness (E59)
Happiness for Cynics podcast
This week, Marie and Pete talk about the smell of happiness and how researchers are bottling it to help treat nervous disorders.
Show notes
During the podcast Pete mentions research done in Austria to teach a dog to smell COVID. Please click on the following article to read further. Austrian military dog sniffs out COVID-19
Transcript
[Happy intro music -background]
M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.
M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.
P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.
P: Can I just say I miss our foreplay?
M: Laughter.
P: With this pre-recording of the intro, I’m not sure I like it. Laugh.
M: Yep.
P: I kinda get sprung, it’s like coming out of the bath with a towel around you going Aahh!
M: Laugh! We go straight into it.
P: Laugh.
M: Yeah, having said that doing the same intro with slight tweaks every single time was really getting on my nerves.
P: See, I found it really fun.
M: I’m happy with a quickie. I don’t need foreplay.
P: Yeah, you’ve been married for how many years, laugh.
M: Laugh.
P: Laughter! Welcome to this week’s episode, laugh.
M: And Happy International Day of Happiness Pete.
P: Oh my goodness! Has it been a year?
M: It has, since we launched.
P: Weee! De, de, de, de [Award ceremony theme] Can I take my pants off?
M: …Ah. Sure.
P: It’s what I do when I’m happy, you know that, laugh.
M: It is, it is. Normally you’ve had a few drinks though.
P: See I’m doing it even without alcohol isn’t that even better?
M: Whatever floats your boat.
P & M: Laughter!
M: So since we are talking, ah this is our episode one year in.
P: Wow.
M: I wanted to start with just a quick chat about how you’re tracking with your Happiness Pete?
P: Oooh. Not a good week to ask.
M: That’s really good, because life happens.
P: Life does happen. Yeah, life gets busy. Life gets hectic. I’m in the throes of closing down a business and starting up another one and starting university and trying to balance that with all sorts of other things. Yes, I’ve got for four plates in the air at the moment, like the little Chinese plates on the spinning sticks.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: One’s wobbling, laugh.
M: Yep and is that your happiness? Are you prioritising your happiness right now?
P: Ah, good question. I have, it’s interesting with the work that we have done.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: I am very proud of the fact that I am still setting aside time for myself to exercise.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: I am setting aside time for myself to cook.
M: Good, yep.
P: I got to cook this week, which is really nice because [Cookie Monster voice] “I love cooking!”
M: Yes, we do know that, laugh.
P: I adore cooking. So, those kind of activities instead of going ‘No, I haven’t got time. I’m going to let that plate drop’, today I went ‘No, I’m going to take half hour and I’m going to make myself a nice chicken lunch, and I’m going to sit down in front of the television and watch the opening credits of Doctor Zhivago.
M: You lost me at the end there.
P: Laugh.
M: But I’m happy that you’re prioritising happiness because I think one of the main reasons that so many people are burning out is that we were never taught to live. We were never given permission to prioritise our own needs at times. And women in particular I know, feel this a lot, that guilt about taking time for themselves when they’ve got family and other commitments.
P: Yes.
M: But men, too. And also we were never taught how to live even if we did get past that guilt.
P: Laugh!
M: What is it that I need to do? And it’s not eating fatty, sugary foods and, you know, indulging in alcohol and all those other things. It is all the things we discuss on this show. They bring people happiness.
P: Mmm.
M: So I think it’s really important that you and I in particular are human, because everyone gets this wrong at times.
P: Yeah. Well, I guess that’s the thing isn’t it, that we all have to be kind enough to ourselves to allow that space and when you do take a half hour break, don’t begrudge yourself from it. And if that little voice inside your head starts rearing his little red head, that’s all right, you can push him down because this sort of stuff is really important.
M: Yep.
P: And with all the research that we have done over the past year. It was really easy for me to go, ‘Yeah, na, I’m gonna to sit down, have some food.’
M: That’s so Aussie.
P: Laugh!
M: Yeah, na.
P: Yeah na! Laugh.
M: How’s your sleep going?
P: Oh, well, surprisingly well. Actually, I’m Yeah, I’m waking up a bit, but yeah, I’m getting up early.
M: Are you getting enough sleep?
P: Possibly not, no. I’m getting enough. Technically, I’m getting enough. I’m getting about 6.5 to 7 hours from the research that I have done 7 hours is the minimum from stuff that I’ve done in the Sleep Institute down in Melbourne.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: Dr Ian [not a Doctor], Professor Ian Hickie and all those guys. So, yeah, I am getting about seven… I can’t read that, so there’s no point in crossing it out, laugh.
M: I’m covering it up. So today’s episode, we’re about to dive into it after we get through the International Happiness Day intro.
P: Oh, alright.
M: But it’s all a surprise for Pete. I came across this article and this research and I’ll be leading you blindly through it, laugh!
P: Laugh, she’s about to spring it on me. Petie doesn’t know quite what’s going to happen.
M & P: Laughter.
M: All right well shall we get to it? Shall we get into the topic of today’s episode?
P: You’re in charge, laugh.
M: Which is The Smell of Happiness.
P: Laughter!
M: So today we’re going to talk about a great piece of research that they found on the European Commission’s EU research and innovation magazine about the smell of happiness.
P: I love it. I love it.
M: So, Pete, what smells making you happy?
P: Oooh. Fresh bread.
M: Ah, Bakery. Just walking past any bakery.
P: Yeah, bakery, bakery and butter. Ah, fresh bread definitely makes me happy. I got some lovely flowers this week and I smelt some rose, which was really nice.
M: Awe…
P: So, yeah.
M: I love lemon. Like any lemon and anything lemon scented.
P: Yeah, wow.
M: Love it. Like lemon grass, really strong.
P: Yeah.
M: Yeah.
P: The smell of my herbs make me happy, now that you’re talking about lemons.
M: Mmm.
P: Yeah. If I go into my herb garden and you know, dig around, poke around your hands, smell all thyme-ie, basil-ie and oregano-ish.
M & P: Laughter.
M: Great words, those.
P: Laugh.
M: But we get it.
P: Yeah, And I guess that smell comes out when it’s raining, which it is pouring down at the moment.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: So yeah, that’s very that’s a very vibrant smell, that’s a happy smell.
M: Yep, happy smell.
P: And is that because you, you in general, we in general, as human’s associate actions with those smells, or is it purely the smells?
M: Or memories as well?
P: Yeah, I think it’s memories and meaning behind it.
M: Yep.
P: So for me, my herb garden is a source of happiness. So naturally the smell of herbs are going to make me go “sniff, oh yeah that’s my herb garden”.
M: I think so. I think, it’s triggering happy thoughts.
P: Yeah.
M: So we’re not going to talk about all those happy smells.
P: Ok, laugh.
M: What we’re going to talk about it is some work that a professor at the Department of Information Engineering at the University of Pisa, Italy, so Enzo Pasquale Scilingo.
P: Oh, I love it. Enzo, Enzooo!
M: …So Enzo is doing some work –
P: Laugh.
M: – on a project called Potion.
P: Ooh!
M: Which is researching chemosignals. So they’re the different scents our bodies produce when we feel happy or afraid.
P: Yes.
M: So they’re actually odourless, but they’re believed to trigger happiness or fear in others and impact on people social interaction.
P: I have read a little bit about this, yes.
M: Yes, so it’s like a virus.
P: Laugh.
M: If I’m scared, you won’t know why, but you’ll also start to feel fear unconsciously.
P: It’s picking up on that fear.
M: Yes.
P: It’s picking up on the emotions of someone else and if you’re empathetic as well, taking it on board.
M: Definitely empathy would play a role there but this is all about the… is it olfactory?
P: Yes.
M: It’s all about the olfactory sense, so he’s doing research into smell and odour.
P: Oh, interesting. I like it.
M: Absolutely, so in the same vein the smell of happiness can make other people happy. So if you know happy people, make sure you hug them.
P & M: Laugh!
P: Well touch is my love language, so I’m good.
M: Get nice and close, laugh.
P: Laugh, can I put my nose in your armpit?
M: Just get your nose in there.
P & M: Laughter!
M: So, Enzo hopes that scientists can produce a spray, a happiness spray.
P: Laugh! He’s bottling it!
M: Like perfume. Have you read Perfume the book?
P: Yes, I read it. Oh, no I havn’t read it I’ve seen the movie though.
M: Yes.
P: Wonderful.
M: Yes, absolutely. So, bottling happiness is the goal. And he hopes he can do it within a few years.
P: Wow.
M: And one of the reasons why this is so important and particularly in light of COVID-19 is the horrible mental health stats around the world right now, particularly with young people, anxiety and depression are just on the rise and a happiness spray could actually help to –
P: I like that idea.
M: -negate that.
P: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
M: All right.
P: I wonder if you could use it as deodorant?
M: Hmm. Where do you spray it?
P: I could say something but it would be really, really offensive.
M & P: Laugh!
M: This is a G rated, actually no it’s more like a PG rated show, definitely not G rated.
P: Laugh.
M: We started with foreplay today.
P: We did, laugh. We jumped straight in there.
M: M. M rated.
P: Well it would make sense to sprayed in the areas where other hormone secretions are coming out, so you around the around the neck or into the armpits, or even down around the folds of the hips or the butt.
M: Depends if it’s for you or for others?
P: True.
M: Yep, I think.
P: I immediately went to others actually.
M: Mmm, you were trying to make everyone else happy.
P: I’m trying to make everyone touch me!
M & P: Laughter.
M: I’m so not surprised we ended up there.
P & M: Laughter!
P: Pulse points, I guess yeah.
M: All right, So let’s look at how it works or what they’re trying to do.
P: Yeah, let’s look at the science behind it because I’m intrigued by this.
M: So researchers start by using videos to induce fear or happiness. So they’re looking at the difference between the two. Obviously, you’ve always gotta have a baseline or a test, you know, something to test against. So they’re using fear and happiness.
P: Yep.
M: So they sit people down in front of movies on make them laugh a lot or get scared. And then they collect their sweat to analyse which chemical compounds are released with each emotion.
P: Mmm. Yep.
M: Okay, they then will synthesise the odours and investigate how they induce emotions in others. So remember a while ago we spoke about people going down a line and smelling sweat. This kind of similar, laugh.
P: Ah… Oh yeah.
M: There’s a lot of work[/research] into sweat, and I think it’s such an unexplored field from, laugh – I mean I’m not an expert in sweat by any means.
P: Laugh.
M: But if there’s a whole lot of unconscious or subconscious things going on that we, because we’re not dogs with an acute sense of smell or something, just don’t know are happening.
P: Mmm.
M: And this is just such a fascinating field, I think.
P: Yeah, yeah.
M: So anyway, eventually, they’re hoping to use people’s responses to Happy Sweat to help psychiatrists understand more about different aspects of phobias and depression, and to maybe helping treatment or compliment traditional therapies for phobias or depression or anxiety.
P: Now that’s interesting, because there is a lot of olfactory use in traditional medicine in terms of herbs and tinctures, using smell as one of the senses that you manipulate if it were, to try and calm, relax, meditate or excite.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: Get people excited, so pepper for example gets people excited. It gets people going and fires things up a little bit more.
M: Would you spray someone else’s sweat on you?
P: I have no problem with it, in the name of science I will do all things.
M: Laugh. If you twisted my arm…
P & M: Laughter!
M: Ok…
P: Are you gonna pay me?
P: Do I get a free lunch?
M: Probably, if you want to go to Italy.
P: Oh, go and see Enzo, yes!
M & P: Laugh.
P: I like this idea, I think it’s intriguing because it’s using more of what we have available, and it’s investigating areas that perhaps have been overlooked.
M: Yeah, and I think smell is one of those areas.
P: Definitely. Yeah, when you think about it, it’s very powerful. And as we said before, it brings about memories. So especially in the same way that music can bring about memories that helps with people with dementia and Parkinson’s. Maybe this is a way of triggering happy memories for people. So, for people who are suffering from anxiety or psychological stress or even post-traumatic stress disorder.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: This might be another way to manipulate those senses and try and bring about contended memories to balance out the negativity-
M: Better well-being.
P: – and experiences, yeah.
M: Yeah, definitely. So one of the other areas that the researchers have looked into is how odours impact people’s social interactions.
P: Oooh.
M: Yes, so they’re looking at how people have a sense of inclusion or exclusion from others. And previous research into this area has found that a person’s emotional state can influence how they respond to other people but also how others respond to them. And now we would have traditionally without this view said that that would have been more of an empathy or, you know, just sensing that someone else is uncomfortable around you.
P: Yeah.
M: That kind of a reaction. So this takes that further, so if you go into a room and you’re nervous networker.
P: Mmm, yes.
M: You’re making it worse for yourself, and I know that’s just screwed up, right?
P: Laugh.
M: That is so, so tough to overcome if you’re a nervous person, same if you’re a speaker you probably can’t smell the speaker on stage though.
P: Not in a large space.
M: If you’re a speaker in a small room and you’re really nervous. What you’re sending out to people from an odour of perspective is what’s going to come back at you.
P: It comes back to that old saying, you know, predators can smell fear.
M: Absolutely.
P: Dogs or aggressive beasts can smell the fear in you.
M: Yep, absolutely. So if someone is feeling fear when they come in, then people are less likely to trust them.
P: Mmm, definitely.
M: And you don’t bond as well.
P: No, it’s a definite barrier.
M: And people will be wary of you and the reverse is true for happiness. And I’ve definitely seen this, happy people I just gravitate towards them.
P: Completely. I saw it this week in a meeting. Someone who is usually quite jovial has had a bit of a rough month and I noticed it a couple of weeks ago and then this week I noticed a complete change in that person’s demeanour and the way they were greeting people.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: And I went, ‘Yeah, you’ve turned it around’ and you can buy into that. Buy into it. You notice it.
M: Yep.
P: Very clearly, especially with people that you know well.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: It’s very easy to get that sense of energy if you like and this is where it does get a bit esoteric, people saying, ‘I’m feeling this from you’. Maybe there’s a scientific basis to that. Maybe we are picking up on scents. Or instead of picking up on energy vibrations.
M: Absolutely. So, there’s a Dr Lisa Roux, in France, who works at the Interdisciplinary Institute for Neuroscience in France, and she says that humans use our sense of smell way more than we think.
P: Mmm.
M: So, it’s more unconscious. But we’re realising more and more that smell is so important to social interaction.
P: Hmm.
M: Which is kind of a bit creepy, but there it is. And one of the things that we now need to throw into the mix is that so many people who’ve had COVID are losing their sense of smell.
P: Hmm.
M: And that can be really devastating to people’s well-being. So, sense of smell is linked to pleasure, but also to depression. And scientists posit that it’s because of the link to the limbic system.
P: Yeah, that make sense.
M: But up to a third of people with a defective sense of smell experience symptoms of depression.
P: Mmm. I wonder if it’s because you’re downgrading one of your primary sensors.
M: Well, I take so much pleasure out of food and you know when you’re sick and you can’t taste anything and you just stop wanting to eat?
P: Yeah, awful.
M: It’s crap!
P & M: Laughter!
M: Really bad.
P: Very true.
M: And that’s just one little thing that – well little, it’s big- impact of not being able to smell. So, you know, I kind of get it. If you let that get to you.
P: I could see where that could go. I could see where it could take you down with it.
M: Yep, definitely.
P: It would be interesting to notice if people were feeling a little bit low, go and sniff something that you know you love.
M: Oh, I love that idea.
P: Go and [sniff]. For me, I’d just have to take myself to a bakery, and stand there like a dog at the front of the bakery sniffing.
M & P: Laugh.
M: Having a bad day? Go stand in front of the bakery.
P: Laugh. Hey, I think it’s a great idea, laugh.
M: Love it. So there’s also a lot of research into animals. And look, I’d be really interested to see whether there is something there. We might not overtly go and smell a dog’s butt or our friend or partners butt –
P: Laugh!
M: – the way that dogs do or the way that mice do as well. So they definitely use smell to form relationships and to create those bonds.
P: Yep.
M: But there is a whole area of research that we still need to do on all of this to see really how much smell impacts our day to day lives.
P: How much we can learn from it, yeah.
M: Yep.
P: I’ve always said life must be really tough being a beagle.
M: Laugh.
P: Can you imagine being a beagle and just wandering around the city going ‘Oh, I can smell it, it’s so good!’ Laugh.
M: Well, they do say that some dogs can smell things like cancer and other…
P: Well, they were testing this with German shepherds smelling COVID.
M: Oh wow.
P: Yeah, there are. Don’t quote me on this, and it was probably totally an article that I shouldn’t be quoting because It’s not an academic article, but yeah, I can’t remember where I saw it but it was a thing about dogs smelling COVID, and they were using that thing and saying we could use this in airports.
M: Oh, I love it.
P: Interesting idea.
M: So, on that note, we’re saying this is just the start of what could be a mind-blowing shift in how we experience the world and see the world, but also could open up a whole range of perfumes.
P & M: Laugh!
M: All your emotions on the shelf, laugh.
P: True.
M: You can pick from moving forward.
P: I’m feeling nonchalant.
M & P: Laugh!
P: I’ll have number three, laugh.
M: Exactly. But the one thing you can do is exactly what you said Pete. If you’re not feeling great, go find a smell that just makes you happy.
P: I love it.
M: Yep.
P: I’m going to be wandering around the bakery across from my work all the time, laugh.
M: For me it would be having a bath and I’ve got a lovely lemongrass oil that I would put in.
P: Nice.
M: Yep.
P: Cool. Play around with it people. Let’s see what your smells do for you.
M: What smell makes you happy? All right, Happy International day of happiness, everybody, and we’ll see you next time.
[Happy exit music – background]
M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.
P: And if you like our little show we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.
M: Until next time.
M & P: Choose happiness.
[Exit music fadeout]
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What’s the Link Between Money and Happiness? Let’s Sort This out Once and for all.
Money Does buy Happiness
A new study suggests that the more money you have the happier you get. Period. This contradicts previous studies which have suggested that there is a plateau at $75,000. Instead, researcher Matthew Killingsworth, a senior fellow at Penn’s Wharton School who studies human happiness, says his study shows that money does influence happiness and there is no dollar value at which it stops influencing a person’s wellbeing.
Through the app ‘Track Your Happiness,’ Killingsworth collected data from 33,391 employed, 18- to 65-year-olds in the United States. This provided in-the-moment snapshots of feelings during daily life which people recorded at a few randomised times each day. “This process provided repeated snapshots of people’s lives, which collectively gives us a composite image, a stop-motion movie of their lives,” he says.
Previous studies have shown that after a certain income level, there is no measurable rise in happiness. However, contrary to earlier research, this study showed no tapering off of happiness levels at higher levels of income.
Instead, the study found that people who have higher incomes are happier. This is due in part to having more of a sense of control over life, and probably also having less financial stress in life overall. “When you have more money, you have more choices about how to live your life. You can likely see this in the pandemic. People living pay check to pay check who lose their job might need to take the first available job to stay afloat, even if it’s one they dislike. People with a financial cushion can wait for one that’s a better fit. Across decisions big and small, having more money gives a person more choices and a greater sense of autonomy.”
But even though the latest research shows that having more money makes you happier, it’s not the only factor in what make you happy. In fact, the research is still showing that if you focus only on the money, you still won’t be happy. It’s only a means to an end. There are still many unhappy people with plenty of money.
Killingsworth warns of getting stuck on the hedonic treadmill and only chasing success and money. His research shows that income is only moderately linked to happiness.
“Although money might be good for happiness, I found that people who equated money and success were less happy than those who didn’t. I also found that people who earned more money worked longer hours and felt more pressed for time,” he said. “If anything, people probably overemphasize money when they think about how well their life is going,” said Killingsworth. “
It seems, as always, that nothing is ever simple! Let’s look at the other factors and research into money and happiness.
It’s all in Your Head: Comparison and Perception
Theodore Roosevelt called comparison “the thief of joy.” Yet, in today’s day and age, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others. With social media feeds constantly reminding us of celebrities’ “perfect” lives, it’s not only hard to keep up but also hard to feel like we’re measuring up.
Yet social comparison theory suggests that we are all biologically wired to try to understand ourselves and how we fit within the world around us. This means it’s perfectly normal to look at everyone around you and think that some people are prettier, smarter, richer, happier, have more friends, better health or better jobs. The problem is that focusing on those who have more can lead to negative feelings, such as envy, poor self-esteem or unhappiness.
Research published in 2020 in the Psychological Bulletin, by researchers at Yale School of Management and Singapore Management University, suggests that it’s not so much about how much you earn, but how you perceive your earnings and standing in society compared to those around you. Instead, researchers suggest that income does not adequately capture the influence of money on happiness, and they now want to test the idea that happiness is more dependent on what people think they have compared to others.
These findings were backed up by a different study published in 2020 by the American Psychological Association that showed that there is a growing class divide in happiness in the U.S. The researchers found a link between socioeconomic status (including income, education, and occupational prestige) and happiness. Over 40 years, the happiness levels of rich individuals have been consistent, whereas the happiness levels of poorer individuals have slowly declined. Researcher Jean Twenge said the decrease in happiness among lower-income people may be a result of rising inequality, increasing real estate values and decreased ability to pay for education.
Read: Turns Out Money Does Buy You Happiness, Study Finds
The simple lesson here is to stop comparing your life to others and instead focus on the activities that can bring you happiness. It’s easier said than done, I know, but half the battle is being aware of your behaviour.
Money Does Matter at Work
Although having a lot of money won’t make you happy in and of itself, a recent study of 2,000 people in Belgium shows that it’s the main factor in our happiness at work. Human resources company Acerta found that 53 per cent of Belgians said having a good salary was key to their happiness at work, while 39 per cent wanted good work-life balance and 35 per cent said job security were important.
In support of the uPenn study, Acerta also found that 84 per cent of people surveyed want their pay to be flexible, in the form of a budget that allows them to make their own choices about pay and possible benefits. This again points to the idea that it’s not so much the money that matters, but the choice and control that it enables.
When Money Can’t buy Happiness
If all the above research stands the test of time, then it’s fair to say that you should be spending your money on experiences you can get excited about planning or enjoy and share with others – not fancy cars, bigger houses and flashy clothes.
Yet, despite all that research, there is one group for which getting material things does lead to better happiness levels: children. In a recent study, children 3-12-years-old found more happiness from material things than from experiences. This is because kids at this age are still developing their memory, so having a Barbie doll or a toy truck to play with over the year brings them more joy over time than an outing with the family, for instance, which they can easily forget.
However, the researchers note, “As children age, the happiness they derive from experiences increases, to the point that older adolescents derive more happiness from experiences than from material goods, consistent with adult findings.” So don’t go putting down that deposit on a McMansion just yet!
Read: 5 Cheap Ways to Live a Happy Life
Relationships Still win
Having a decent income plays a small factor in our happiness, more because of what it enables rather than because chasing and earning money will make you happy. So, if money isn’t the answer, then what is?
Simple. Good relationships.
Time and time again, research shows that having good relationships, with lovers, family and friends – or any combination of the three – is absolutely critical to our happiness levels. Yet, chasing money can lead us away from time with loved ones.
“When people base their self-worth on financial success, they experience feelings of pressure and a lack of autonomy, which are associated with negative social outcomes,” says Lora Park, who co-authored a recent study into money and loneliness.
“Feeling that pressure to achieve financial goals means we’re putting ourselves to work at the cost of spending time with loved ones, and it’s that lack of time spent with people close to us that’s associated with feeling lonely and disconnected,” said Deborah Ward, who led the research team.
In the end, nothing is black and white, but a lot of it is common sense if you think about it. And that’s the key. You have to think about it. Reflect.
When was the last time you felt at peace, content or happy? What brings you joy?
It’s guaranteed to fit into three foundations:
- spending time with people;
- doing activities you enjoy and that bring you purpose and meaning; and
- looking after yourself – from getting enough sleep, and eating well, to getting outside and doing some exercise, or getting a massage.
Want to learn more about the money and happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!
5 Cheap Ways to Live a Happy Life
How to Live a Happy Life
Need some more pep in your step or want to find more happiness in 2021? There’s a lot of advice out there about how to live a happier life, but a lot of it can be cost prohibitive. From year-long courses and counselling, to changing where you live or work, and planning holidays or starting new projects… it can all add up. So, what if you want to make some changes this year, but you’re on a budget?
Well, the good news is that happiness isn’t about material things. In fact, according to research from the University of Illinois Chicago about what Christmas gifts makes people happiest, it turns out that giving (and receiving) gifts that we can experience (live through) instead of material things makes us happier.
The research does show the easiest way to make gains in your happiness and how to live a happy life: plan to create meaningful experiences or share time with people you care about this year – and you can do that for very little money!
Here are our 5 cheap ways for how to live a happy life. Read on!
1. Make a Garden
There’s a reason why many doctors and therapists recommend gardening to people. By helping you to create life yourself and watching it grow into something beautiful, gardening can bring immense peace and happiness into your daily life.
Lots of people will say that they love gardening because of the outcome of it, the fresh vegetables or pretty flowers. However, many people don’t realize the positive psychological effect it has on your mind and body while you’re cultivating those plants.
According to Project Happiness, scientists say that working with soil is beneficial to your health and happiness. Soil bacterium are microscopic bacteria that enter your system when you touch soil – and they generate the feel good hormones: serotonin and dopamine.
You also get vitamin D, and although we’re warned by society to stay out of the sun, it is actually detrimental to our health if we don’t get enough of it. Sunlight allows us to stay happy and healthy while soaking in Vitamin D, which is essential for our bodies. So slap on some sunscreen and get to planting!
Seeing something you’ve worked hard on finally come to fruition is a positive experience no matter what it is you’re working on. And there’s nothing better than seeing your garden sprout beautiful flowers or fresh fruits and vegetables.
2. Go on a Walk in Nature
If you live in a big city, as most of us do, chances are walking in nature is something you don’t do enough. But finding the time to walk in nature regularly can change your life in numerous ways.
The benefits are endless:
- Improved sleep. The exercise you’ll be getting will improve sleeping quality and increase the time you spend asleep. This gentle exercise can affect your body’s natural melatonin production, creating a healthier sleep schedule all around.
- Increases “feel good’ hormones. Along with the increased melatonin, walking in nature will release other healthy endorphins, giving you a natural high. These endorphins will decrease pain, therefore increasing positivity and a healthy well-being.
- Increased creativity. Being on a walk engages your body in a low-level activity, but it doesn’t take much mental energy effort. This allows your mind to wander, daydream and make new connections and think of new ideas.
- It allows you to unplug. Our world today is full of technology and social media that lowers serotonin and productivity. Going on a walk allows you to put away the smart phone and unplug for a while without the temptation.
- Increased Intake of vitamin D. Much like gardening, going for nature walks will also increase your Vitamin D intake, giving your body a hormone boost to improve your mood.
- Decreased stress. Cortisol is the stress hormone. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious or stressed you will tend to have more cortisol in your body which can contribute to a wide range of unpleasant symptoms. Walking in nature can help to lower levels of cortisol in your body, in fact, a review of 24 Shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) studies confirmed that simply looking at forest landscapes reduces cortisol by about 13 per cent, while walking in the woods decreases it nearly 16 per cent.
- Grounds you back to what is important. Just taking the time to be in nature can help you feel more connected to the earth and its positive effects on our bodies. Even the color green alone has been shown to lower heart rate and increase calmness.
- It encourages you to breathe. Our bodies breathe involuntarily, but in our day-to-day lives we rarely stop to really allow ourselves to breathe. Walking in nature encourages deep, rhythmic breathing which encourages your body to relax and feel calmer.
- Increases your energy levels. It’s important to breathe fresh air away from toxins in urban areas. Walking among nature will help you breathe in pure, fresh air, resulting in you feeling invigorated and energized. On top of this, if you can make it a daily exercise or walking routine it will increase your productivity and energy in general.
3. Learn Something New
According to global consulting firm McKinsey & Company, “studies show that workers who maintain their ability to learn outpace other professionals. The people who will thrive in the 21st century will be those who embrace lifelong learning and continually increase their knowledge, skills, and competencies.”
The best part about the research on adult learning is that it’s not only the acquisition of new skills and competencies that benefit these workers. The mindset that drives people to be curious and want to learn more is also a great buffer against criticism and failure. People who have a growth mindset see failure as a part of their development journey. Learning also fuels our creativity, making us feel more productive and happier.
And, it turns out that developing a growth mindset and lifelong learning habits are skills that will benefit you well into retirement too. A recent study showed that people who keep their mind sharp in retirement tend to live longer.
According to Psycologies.co.uk, there is evidence to suggest that adult learning has the most positive impact on self-esteem and self-efficacy when the learning provided meets the needs of the learner, and when the learner is at a stage in their life when they are ready and receptive to benefit from it. So you have to find something that sparks your interest, not something you think you ‘should’ do.
A cheap way to learn something new is to create a new podcast list or create a playlist on Ted Talks. If you want to learn more about how to live a happy life, you could also check out the 5 Best FREE Positive Psychology Online Courses or these Top 5 Speakers on Gratitude.
4. Start Journaling
Do you feel emotionally stuck? Or are you going through a tough time right now? Are you curious about seeing a counsellor or feel you need to speak to a professional, but just can’t afford one?
Why not try journaling?
“When we put our thoughts and feelings down on paper, we’re not just transferring them—we’re also transforming them. Writing forces us to arrange our ideas into a sequence, one after another; over time, themes and patterns start to emerge; new insights and perspectives start to bubble up,” said Kira M. Newman on Greater Good Magazine.
Are you someone who is generally not comfortable opening up to people? Studies show that journaling might be the most beneficial to you.
To get started all you need is a notepad, and you need to get into the habit of doing it, here’s how:
Generally, you want to set a timer and just keep writing for at least 20 minutes. However, research suggests that even writing for a few minutes can be beneficial. You also want to start making this a practice. Try to write for four days a week, but as with all new habits, remember to forgive yourself if you fall short and just pick up where you left off (i.e. keep going!).
**If you’re going through a tough time and need to speak to a professional, the above information might not be suitable for you – in Australia, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 for free if you need to speak to someone. **
5. Practice Gratitude
One of the easiest and cheapest ways for how to live a happy life is practicing gratitude — and it’s fully science backed. In fact, all it takes is a few minutes a day or per week. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, showed that participants who kept a gratitude journal weekly for 10 weeks or daily for two weeks experienced benefits.
These benefits included more positive moods, optimism about the future, less stress and better sleep. Gratitude also leads to higher overall wellbeing and satisfaction with your life and social relationships. Why? We’re biologically wired to look out for the bad things in life (don’t want that lion to eat us, ya know?!) so we need to balance the scales and train out brains to see the good things too. And the more you train your brain to see what you do have, the more you’ll see and appreciate the good in others and in your own life.
The research suggests that writing about what you’re grateful for is key. Translating your thoughts into concrete language makes you more aware of them, deepening their emotional impact. It’s useful to reflect on smaller, more frequent things—such as a modest bit of help from a friend or colleague. You can simply pick up a notebook from the shops and get to writing.
Not all is lost if writing isn’t your thing, I have personally found that sharing what I’m grateful for with my husband every night has had huge impacts on both of us and has also brought us closer. Instead of asking what we’re grateful for which started becoming hard not to repeat things every night, we instead ask, “tell me 3 things that went well today.”
Related reading: How to Practice Gratitude, and Why You Should do it
All of these ideas and tips are proven to cheap ways for how to live a happy life. Why not get started on your happiness journey today?!
Want to learn more about how to life a happy life? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!
Happy Teens (E37)
Happiness for Cynics
This week, Marie and Pete discuss The Children’s Society “The Good Childhood Report 2020” and the troubling decline in teens’ happiness levels over the past few years.
Transcript
M: You’re listening to the podcast happiness for cynics. I’m Marie Skelton, a writer and speaker on change and resilience.
P: And I’m Peter Furness, a bouncy castle lover, a naked swims partaker and an exuberant celebrator of sunsets. Each week we will bring to you the latest news and research in the world of positive psychology, otherwise known as happiness.
M: So if you’re feeling low.
P: But if your only satisfied with life but not truly happy with it.
M: Or maybe you just want more.
P: Then this is the place to be!
M: And to take us one step further on our happiness journey today’s episode is about happy teens.
[Happy Intro Music]
P: Ok, so this is an interesting one, happy teens?
M: Yes.
P: When you proposed this topic, my mind instantly went to the cynical side of my brain. Going ‘Oh bloody millennials, they’re so boring and everything and you know –
M: Boring? [Laugh]
P: Everything’s a trial. Get over it, get a life. But-
M: You’re showing your age, Peter.
P: Yes, yes, I am definitely. But the sad thing is that when you actually start looking at the science, it’s tough for a young person out there these days. And I didn’t realise how tough it was going to quite a serious episode.
M: Ooh! You’ve done a flip?
P: Yeah, yeah.
M: All right. So what prompted this episode is a report from The Children’s Society over in Europe called the Good Childhood Report 2020 and they recently put out their findings and it’s, it’s really troubling and look, it’s to be expected during Covid.
P: I think this goes beyond Covid this is-
M: Absolutely.
P: -a much broader perspective in terms of the world and our society and what teens now have to deal with. And I think the.. sorry I cut you off completely there Marie. [Laugh]
M: It’s ok, keep going.
P: Damnit I’m standing up. I’m shocked thinking about the rates of information that are coming at us the way that we can be hounded by so much social media, devices. The Internet makes it so much easier for people to reach us, for example. You can’t escape. I’m thinking, particularly in terms of things like bullying and on social media pressuring us to look a certain way and I know you’re going to talk about that. When you actually take the time to sit and think about it, it is tougher these days to be a kid.
M: And expectations have changed. So when we were young, we used to do sports because it was fun. If you did sports or you did drama or you did volunteering at the local pound or whatever it was. Your parents might push you a little bit to do some kind of extracurricular activity, normally just to get you out of the house.
P: “You’re in Mum’s way in the kitchen.”
[Laughter]
P: [Woman’s voice] “I’ve just done the floor!” [Laugh]
M: Get out of the house, make sure you’re back before the lights are on in the street.
P: Yeah, there we go. [Laugh]
M: Nowadays, though, there is a checklist of things that young adults need to do in order to be well rounded adults and even in the States to get accepted into university. Your life is determined by the sheer volume of tick box activities you can do between 11 to 17 in order to round out your personality and yourself. And so playing sport is about how much can you excel, playing… Having a job is about what type of skills can you gain. Doing any other type of extra correct curricular activity is about rounding out your resume so that you can be positioned-
P: Prepared, ready, yeah.
M: Yeah, exactly. And that’s taken all the joy.
P: Mmm. I was shocked the other day, talking to a client who has an eight year old son who was doing mountain biking. No, not mountain biking he was doing swimming and he was telling me that the other kids were doing better times because they were training six times a week, at eight years of age these kids are doing six days of training to be the best swimmer. I was shocked.
M: Yep, yep.
P: Where’s the playtime? Where’s the time to run around trees, scrape your knees, climb the.. run away from mum and jump off the bridge into the river?
M: Yes, absolutely. So that pressure and stress on today’s teens is huge. And that’s just one, one small thing. So the pressure and stress to do stuff rather than.. So it’s the extrinsic motivation rather than the intrinsic motivation that we talked about rather than enjoying the activity. For me playing volleyball, I didn’t do it so that I could tick a box and get into a better university.
P: Yeah.
M: I loved volleyball, loved it, right?
P: Yes.
M: So they’ve lost all of that. Then you’ve got what you mentioned before the social media and that pressure there. Can you imagine having someone constantly following you around telling you I don’t like your outfit today? I don’t think you’re very good looking. I don’t think you’re funny at all. What’s that big pimple on your forehead, Pete?
P: Yeah, yeah.
M: Really, if you put on some weight, should you really be eating that?
P: Yes, mm, mm.
M: The constant pressure of having someone there watching you all the time. That is social media.
P: Yep, pretty much.
M: That’s what social media is. And if you don’t partake in the social media, the social ostracize you.
P: Yes, pretty much.
M: So there’s that. So this report, let’s go into the report. So pre-Covid there was a really troubling trend and decline in a lot of kids happiness. And so we’re talking between 10 to 15 year olds in general, there was a decline in happiness with friends, with schools with a lot of the different elements of kids lives. The one thing that did remain constant was happiness with families so that is actually nice.
P: Yes.
M: But as we know, when kids reach teen years, they’re trying to pull away from family and find themselves and create their own identity. And that’s very heavily tied to friends. So their decrease in happiness with friends can be a really deep impacting factor in their happiness.
P: Yeah, right.
M: And then, of course, this report’s come out and been surveying people this year, so 2020 in the middle of Covid and everything is just jumbled. Everything has gone even worse for people.
P: Yes.
M: So 15 year olds in the UK were amongst the saddest and least satisfied with their lives through Europe, and worries about relationships with friends, appearance and school were the three worst impacted areas for kids that are impacting their happiness. Not good times for kids.
P: No. So I actually went for the Australian experience with this and went into The Australian Loneliness Report, which was published in 2018 and it says that younger adults compared to adults over 35 are reporting more social interaction anxiety (slightly higher [than teens]). That’s among 18 to 35 year olds.
But also more depressive symptoms were coming through in the 18 to 25 year old bracket and that’s feeding in directly from what you’re talking about Marie in terms of the teens. So is this an epidemic and a problem that we can cut off in the teenage years?
M: I think that loneliness.. So World Health Organisation has said that loneliness is an epidemic. They’ve got a lot of research into this, and I think most of us immediately think of Grandma and Grandpa, who are isolated at home and perhaps have mobility issues that can’t get out and of course that’s going to be a lonely time for them. We don’t realise that this is an epidemic that is hitting every generation right now, it is hitting our teens, and I think that technology has a lot to do with this.
P: Definitely.
M: And it’s training us to have a back up, which is ‘Oh, I don’t know anyone here. I’m going to look at my phone’, right? Rather than working through the discomfort and growing as a person to better your social skills.
P: Yes.
M: So you go to a party and you feel awkward and you don’t have a phone. You find a way to make a friend.
P: Yep, exactly.
M: Yeah, and we’re not doing that. We’re not doing that anymore as kids, we can hide behind the technology, so we’re more awkward as a society I think. [Laugh]
P: Interesting.
M: Also, if you look into a lot of it the way that our cities are structured nowadays, there are more people living by themselves than ever before in human history, and it is seen as something to strive towards. Living in a share home is not normal as you get older. It is not common [or] as common as it used to be, because our standards of living have gotten better.
P: [Yeah]
M: We can afford now as a single adult to get a small apartment by ourselves, and you might come in and out from the garage up to your apartment back and never see your neighbours.
P: Yep, exactly.
M: And that is the way that our world, the mega cities, and increased density of housing all of that is impacting our loneliness levels as well.
P: Mm. And that’s a big one for kids playing in the neighbour’s backyard. Getting the ball from across Mr. Biggs’s backyard because went over in a cricket match that was six and out, that’s not happening.
M: All the kids playing on the street, doesn’t happen.
P: No, that interacting is not happening as much so this is one of the reasons behind why kids are finding it harder and the cynics like me need to take a little bit of a chill pill and be more understanding. [Laugh]
M: Definitely so, one of the big things that this research found was that fear of failure is really impacting kids nowadays. So teenagers again, we’re talking about teens, so exam stress, bullying, school culture. All of it’s just adding up. But there are high levels of fear of failure amongst our teens, so this is kind of 15 [up] older teens, and a lot of them are just, they’re just struggling with the academic achievement and the pressures that are being placed on them.
P: Yep, right.
P: Yeah. Right.
M: So really, really sad.
I did want to talk a bit about education now for teens, since it is such a big part of their lives.
P: It’s also where, a lot of social interaction occurs for the teens is at school.
M: Yeah.
P: That’s where you are. You’re away from the home you’re away from Mom and Dad and you’re forced to interact with a bunch of other kids that you don’t necessarily like and that’s where you learn life skills. It’s where you learn how to deal with projection and bullying and all that sort of stuff that does happen and naturally happens in an environment where you put the kids together, Lord of the Flies stuff.
[Laughter]
P: A book everyone should read.
M: Yeah, good book, definitely.
P: So what do we need to think up in our education systems? What other things did the report say?
M: Well I think back to that intrinsic connect, extrinsic motivation and what, what drives us and what makes us happy. So rather than a check box of things you need to do to be a well rounded human way need to rethink. And the Nordic countries again are doing such a good job in this area. And it is about the joy of learning rather than the tick box exercise to get you through to the next year and the last year and out the back into university and a good job.
P: [Laugh]
M: And it’s that that treadmill we’ve been talking about and that is shown not to make you happy. So in the Nordic countries, there again, looking at what makes you happy and they rather than sitting down and reading a chapter of a text book and then rote learning and writing about rocks, they get kids out to the playground and playing with rocks. They have to go collect 20 rocks and they bring them back in, and then they’ll divide them up into the types of rocks they are, and they’ll teach them that way.
P: Right.
M: And if the kids don’t feel like doing that that day, they might be off learning or climbing trees and learning about gravity. What happens when you fall?
[Laughter]
P: The experience, experiential as opposed to the academic approach.
M: Well, no academic, they’re both academic, but the traditional, as opposed to the traditional approach.
P: That’s read and learn.
M: Yes, and let’s take all of the love of learning out.
P: Yes,
M: And force you to rote learn a bunch of things so that when you finish school you think ‘Hoorah, I don’t have to learn ever again.’
P: [Laugh]
M: Yeah, and as we know, growth mindset is so important, to growing and learning over your life and is actually a factor in happiness. So our whole education system needs a rethink. And that’s a whole other episode, [laugh] to be honest.
P: [Laugh]
M: Yeah, but there is just so much in here that sadly we haven’t caught up on the 21st century from an education point of view. We’re still teaching that industrialised way of learning that hasn’t changed since the early 19 hundred’s when it was first put in.
P: Hhmm.
M: We haven’t caught up yet, and I think a lot of that is adding to the stress and pressure that our teens are feeling.
P: Because teens are being left behind, some teens are being left behind because they don’t learn?
M: I mean there is that definitely, but we’re just not giving them skills they need for the 21st century.
P: OK.
M: We’re not teaching them that happiness isn’t about how many boxes you can tick it’s about the enjoyment of ticking boxes [laugh].
P: Is it about more play. Is it about allowing more space to have other things come into your life, other influences because we are so pressured with achievement and getting there, I mean even at year six and year five getting 100% are getting an A on the test is still the goal.
M: Rather than exploring the joy of maths, that’s the different.
P: Ok.
M: And if you love maths, you should be able to go to year seven level of maths. Even though you’re in year six, because you love it as long as the teacher is also teaching you balance, so you might love maths, but what can we love in English, too?
P: Yeah, righteo.
M: And kids who take themselves through their learning journey are far more engaged, and there’s actually a whole lot of research now into what used to be the weird kids who did home schooling.
P: [Laugh] Yes.
M: Home schooling was for the weird, eccentric, hippies or whatever else.. cults.
P: [Laugh]
M: You know, or whatever else, that stuff. But there is so much research now they’ve organised in the States. There is so much to be said for the kids who direct their own learning based on their own interests.
P: Mmm.
M: That doesn’t mean that they get to not do certain things.
P: Yep.
M: These kids are so much more balanced. And the fear was always that they wouldn’t develop social skills needed because they weren’t at school.
P: Yeah.
M: Nowadays, they’ve organised like I said. So they’re doing the field trips with other home schooled kids and things like that.
P: And that’s a change storm, they’re changing it up completely of how we interact on an educational level.
M: Yep.
P: But again, it’s about balance. So as you were saying, it’s finding a solution outside of what we need because okay, so we are not interacting at a school level. So let’s have a field trip that come together and that has to be organised and generated from the top down.
M: Yep, and allowing home school kids to band together into a baseball team and join the local schools comp.
P: Yeah.
M: As a bunch of home school kids so that they can still play sports, team, sports and things like that. But what they’ve done is they’ve looked at the education system and seen that there is a gap there, and these kids are well out performing in intellect and IQ and general EQ as well, emotional intelligence. A lot of the kids that are going through all your prep schools.
P: [Laugh]
P: So how can we change that? How do we create situations as a, as an adult looking at interacting with teenagers and trying to help them get a little bit more social interaction and bring up their happiness levels?
M: Look, we were products of the same system that they’re going through. Just theirs is on steroids.
P: [Laugh] That’s a good description.
M: Right? So we need to role model the right behaviours for our youth. We need to put the phones down at dinner. We need to do around the table, ‘what are we grateful for today kids?’ conversation before we dig in to our meals.
P: Right.
M: If you’re not religious and you’re not thanking God, you’re, you’re just going around the table and still doing that exercise of what is ‘what are we grateful for today, kids?’
P: So is this coming back to some of that old school things that we have talked about.
M: Yeah.
P: This seems to be a trend, but a lot of happiness movement, it’s coming back to some routines and connection between the generations. In my own experience, having the kids around Grandma has been a huge influence for them. And don’t get me wrong Grandma’s difficult to deal with sometimes.
M: [Laugh]
P: But the kids have learned to negotiate that space, and I remember watching my niece deal with Grandma in the back of the car and it was great because she was, she was finding her own way and eventually she fell asleep.
[Laughter]
P: But they’re was, because Grandma was a part of their daily lives, they had to negotiate that. And it’s now a source of comedic relief if you like in terms of conversations like ‘ Oh that’s a Grandma statement, or that’s what Grandma would do.’ But it’s a relative experience.
M: Yep.
P: And it’s bringing that into connection between the generations which is so important. And again the…
M: Face to face.
P: The face to face, the dining room table conversations and having those routines of gratitude and saying, ‘OK, phones are off the table, we’re all sitting and we’re all enjoying a meal together, spending time together.’
M: Yep and don’t make it a special one off, it’s just what we do in our house.
P: It’s a Sunday thing.
M: Yep, and one of the other things that I think a lot of people have realised through Covid is, it could be so simple, it could be baking cookies with kids. It could be doing gardening with kids, the puzzles, games, all this tech free stuff. It’s returning to that simplicity, but it’s the activity of just enjoying doing something.
And the last one that I’ll throw in there is ‘let your kids be bored.’
P: Yes, “the groundswell of creativity is boredom.”
M: [Laugh]
P: That’s not the right quote but someone said it, who was it? [Laugh]
M: There’s two things to it. Boredom creates an opportunity for creativity. But also boredom helps you to feel uncomfortable and you never grow without feeling uncomfortable.
P: Yes, yes. I agree with that.
M: So there’s definitely, and they’re gonna hate you for it. But explain why. Kids are smart.
P: Yep.
M: Yep.
P: I like it.
[Laughter]
P: Ok, I think we’re there. Thanks for listening. And if you like this podcast, then please subscribe and don’t forget to visit us at www.marieskelton.com, which shows a lot of the research and the articles that we talk about here on the podcast.
M: Including our new book, which was recently launched.
P: Yay!
M: If you’re interested in the book, go to our website and you can find where to buy it but we’re also on Amazon. Alright, thanks for joining us.
P: Remember people, choose happiness.
[Happy Exit Music]
Related content: Read Moving On article 5 ways to teach kids resiliency and happiness , listen to our Podcast: The Importance of Being Social (E14)
Go on: Smile for World Smile Day
Faking it ‘til you Make it Might Actually be Good Advice
Next week we celebrate world smile day.
While I am not a fan of positivity for the sake of positivity, nor do I ever want to gloss over the more serious mental health issues that many people face, this day is a simple yet powerful reminder about how we can bring some happiness into our lives and the lives of others.
And, recent research has just proven what many already knew: smiling does make you happier.
Smiling Improves your Outlook and Mood
New research from the University of South Australia confirms that the act of smiling can trick your mind into being more positive.
In two scenarios, a smile was induced by participants holding a pen between their teeth, forcing their facial muscles to replicate the movement of a smile (see image). The results? The action of faking a smile generated more positive emotions.
Lead researcher and human and artificial cognition expert at UniSA, Dr Fernando Marmolejo-Ramos, says the finding has important insights for mental health.
“When your muscles say you’re happy, you’re more likely to see the world around you in a positive way,” he said. “In our research we found that when you forcefully practise smiling, it stimulates the amygdala – the emotional centre of the brain – which releases neurotransmitters to encourage an emotionally positive state.”
Dr. Marmolejo-Ramos believes this has interesting implications for mental health. “If we can trick the brain into perceiving stimuli as ‘happy’, then we can potentially use this mechanism to help boost mental health.”
Source: UniSA, Daniela A´ lvarez, 2020
Spreading Positive Vibes This World Smile Day
Nothing reminds us of our humanity and the rollercoaster of normal human emotions we deal with like a global pandemic. In fact, a term that really speaks to me is the ‘Corona-coaster.’ This is the rollercoaster of emotions, feelings and moods we’re all going through as this pandemic plays out.
But emotions are proven to be contagious. If someone is happy or angry around us, we inadvertently mirror their emotion. “Not only do we mimic the feelings of others, we actually start to feel them ourselves,” according to Sigil Barsade, professor at the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School of Business.
It’s called emotional contagion, and it means we can make others around us happier or sadder, more relaxed or more angry, simply by feeling those feelings ourselves.
This explains why watching endless hours of negative media about the pandemic put us all in bad moods.
On the flip side, this also means we not only have the tools to make ourselves feel more positive (faking a smile), we also have the tools to inoculate our family, friends and colleagues against the Corona-coaster: by spreading our good mood to others.
So, this World Smile Day, let’s make an effort to spread something good… a smile 😊
Related reading: Three Quick Ways to Improve Your Mood