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Arts on Prescription (E.96)

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Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about arts on prescription and how it might be part of the solution to your happiness needs.

Show notes

Street Art

During the podcast Pete references a story in which the Mayor of Melbourne, Australia, has contracted street artists to revitalise the streets after such long and stressful lockdowns. These artists are going to be paid up to $20,000 for their art.

Battle of the Somme

During the podcast Pete talks about a picture taken at the Battle of the Somme but incorrectly references it to WWII. The battle was fought between 1st of July and the 18th of November 2016 during WWI. We apologise for this mistake.

Neighbourlytics – https://neighbourlytics.com/ 

Urbantech company equipping the property industry, governments and consultancies with lifestyle data on neighbourhoods. 

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background] 

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t. 

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy. 

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life. 

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny. 

[Intro music fadeout] 

M: Let’s go.

P: Hi!

M: We’re here.

P: We’re queer.

P: We are queer, aren’t we?

M: Yep.

P: Laugh.

M: We are queer ally, at least.

P: Laugh. Such an ally. You’re more than an ally.

M: In the traditional sense of the word, very queer.

P & M: Laugh.

M: My mom uses queer in a very weird way, laugh! “They’re all queer!”

P: I’m like “Ok Mum.” Laugh.

M: A lot of these words in the LGBTQI++ community had meaning before, like gay just meant happy.

P: Mmm. Well, language in itself evolves and changes and shifts, and I find myself going, “Oh, what does that mean now?” I’m not up on the latest language and correctness and all that sort of stuff.

M: I saw a fabulous screenshot of a conversation where someone texts, what’s for dinner? And the person used emojis to put an eggplant and some cheese on there and the guy was like –

P: Laugh!

M: – dick cheese???

P: Exuberant laughter.

M: It was eggplant parmigiana, laugh.

P: Ah. That is not where I went with that!

M & P: Laugh!

M: No.

P: Laugh, anyway. Let’s, let’s elevate out of the gutter for a little bit shall we.

M: Let’s move on.

P: Still laughing.

So, this week, we’re doing a little bit of a reflection, aren’t we? We’re looking back.

M: What?

P: Oh, we’re revisiting some things that we’ve actually got going across before. I came across this article this week from the conversation which I flicked to you –

M: Mmm hmm.

P: – and we both have a little read.

And this is a bit of a testament to the podcast itself that I’m sort of now aware of things much more in the media when I read articles and studies and I’m like, ‘Oh, I know what that means,’ And ‘that’s because of this, this, this.’

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Because of the investigations that we’ve gone through here on the podcast as we approach our 100th episode.

M: Oh!

P: Ba ba dum!

M: Which is very exciting.

P: Very exciting. But this article was talking about the fact that happiness is becoming more expensive and out of reach for many Australians, and I think this also applies to American listeners.

M: Oh, ah no. Not more expensive.

P: Mmm?

M: So, as we’ve discussed before with Maslow’s hierarchy, there are certain things you need to just… like your basics, your foundations, that you need to have.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Security, shelter, food, et cetera.

P: Ok.

M: And from there you can be happy once you’ve got those basic needs met.

P: Yes.

M: So, the base level of income that you need to have those basic needs met has gone up.

P: Okay, yes.

M: And that would make sense because there’s inflation.

P: Yeah, it’s gone up… They’re mapping it in Australia, and it has gone up from, let me get my facts straight here –

M: – 43 to 74 thousand (AU$).

P: Thank you very much, Marie.

M: And we’ve discussed this before. We might not have actually spoken about $74,000 in Australia, I know we’ve used US metrics in the past.

P: Mmm.

M: But a really good reminder, as you were saying that if you want to be free from worry and stress –

P: Mmm hmm.

M: – about those things, like how to feed your family and put petrol and car etcetera and have your basics covered, then $74,000 is the income you need to aim for, strive for.

P: Mmm. Sadly, in Australia’s case, the amount of people that actually have access to that 74K income is dropping. So, the number of Australians on the income below that, what we call the change point, which is the $74,000 has increased from 60% to 74%.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And I think that’s the point that the article is making is that more people are now falling below that change point income, and that’s going to prove a problem in the future if this trend continues. And what I was reflecting on when reading this article was that I was the person that if you’d asked me two years ago, does money buy happiness? I would have given you a resounding no, and said, ‘No, definitely not!’

M: It doesn’t, it’s not what this says.

P: It doesn’t but it makes it a damn sight easier to have access to it when you have a certain income, or you have the ability to –

M: I think the lesson here is that money enables you to be free from things that detract from happiness, and then after you get to that $74,000 a year income level. What you do with your money can contribute to happiness, absolutely, and we’re about to get into the real point of this episode here and what we really wanted to talk about. But again, we saw this news. Both of us read it. And we’re like, did you see this?

P: Laugh! We talked about this a year ago.

M: And again, once you’ve got your basic needs met once you’ve met that $74,000 income in Australia, that’s what it costs to live free from financial stress.

P: Yeah.

M: And to live free from other stresses and worries that are what we’ve called negative affect.

P: Yeah.

M: So once you clear that benchmark, then what you do after that is within your control.

P: It’s very true, and the authors who are Richard Morris and Nick Glozier, they do mention that in the article where they say, “Income by itself doesn’t explain a large proportion of variance in happiness.”

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, you’re absolutely right there. But it still made me sort of prick my ears up and think, ‘Yes, so politics and economics and all those big, big pebbles do have an influence on people’s happiness levels, there is a link there.

M: Yeah.

P: And that’s the, that’s the take home message that drew, that I drew from this article for me was that you think it doesn’t matter, but it actually does and so it’s really important that those of us who are above that 74K understand that maybe and realise that we are in a beneficial position. But to canvass.

M: To be grateful for.

P: Yes, absolutely. But there’s a social responsibility as well to canvas, to advocate for things like basic minimum wages and things like that. And be really aware that these things matter to the bulk of the population and as a result your society in which you live, and you participate.

M: It really comes down to what do you value in society? I’d love to live in a world where everyone has a basic level of income that enables them not to have to worry about how to put food on the table or get to work or clothes on their kid’s backs, etcetera.

P: Yes, exactly.

M: And where we can all, and I know that sounds really idealistic and I am an optimist.

P: Laugh!

M: I will say. But some countries are playing around with these ideas, and UBI – Universal Basic Income- is a fascinating topic. Imagine if every person in your society could have a $74,000 income and then you get to decide what you want to do with your time every day or week.

P: Yeah, that’s a big change.

M: Yeah, Definitely. So anyway, what we were going to talk about today and what I’m excited to explore a little bit because we haven’t spent much time on this topic is something called Arts on Prescription.

P: Mmm.

M: And it comes from an article that we read in The Canberra Times, Canberra Times Magazine, about a gentleman called Patrick McIntyre, who is the CEO of the National Film and Sound Archive. And his thinking about the impact of ballet and film and dance and opera and all of the arts and how that can impact people’s happiness.

P: Mmm.

M: And so, we started out talking about needing the 74,000 just to get your house in order.

P: Yep.

M: So, if you have 75[K] what do you do with that extra thousand is really what we’re talking about here.

P: Ha ha, yep.

M: And we know that buying houses and cars and good clothes and nice shoes and all of that will not bring you happiness.

P: Yes.

M: We also know that doing things like practising gratitude, spending time with friends and family, you know, there are many, many things that you can do that are free that will bring in happiness.

P: Yeah.

M: But if you do have extra money on top of that 74[K] another great way to spend that money to bring yourself happiness is to spend it on experience.

P: Which we talked about before. And that’s such a valuable, valuable investment.

M: Absolutely. Buying stuff won’t help you to build your happiness, but experiences will.

P: The hedonistic treadmill!

M: Absolutely. And so, what Patrick McIntyre is arguing for is for all of us to go prescribe ourselves some art.

P: Laugh! That’s on prescription.

M: Yes.

P: We’ve touched on this before and one of our other episodes about cityscapes, and we talked about the programme that is social prescription in the UK.

M: Yes.

P: That the UK health system are prescribing for mental health and for advancing better mental health in the community. Instead of prescribing people for doctors, they’re sending them into community centres. They’re targeting the organisations that can help bring about a sense of community and get people out there socialising, which we know is one of the pillars of happiness is keeping social connections. Laugh, ergo Marie Skelton.

M & P: Laugh.

P: Writer extraordinaire and happiness expert.

M: We talk about health and wellbeing as one of the other pillars in there.

P: Mmm.

M: And this is really one of those intangible but fabulous ways to get yourself engaging with your surroundings in a mindful way.

P: Mmm yes.

M: And learning and growing that growth mindset. And so, Patrick is probably a bit extreme. He may have a bias here.

P: Laugh. He’s worked in the Arts for 20 years.

M: He says, “Culture is everything. Once we’re fed and sheltered, everything beyond that is culture.”

P: Mmm, yes. That’s a big claim.

M: Mmm hmm. Now Maslow didn’t agree, there are a whole lot of other things in there, like self-actualisation and all the things that we talk about.

P: Yep, yep.

M: But I think there’s something to this, though.

P: I agree. Yeah, it’s a lovely concept.

M: And I know we had a friend who, during lockdown on his daily exercise walks, was spending time going through Newtown and the Inner West area and finding street art and posting it.

P: Yeah, and so much.

M: Yeah, there’s so much, it’s kind of like Chile, they have Valparaiso, which is famous and well known for its street art.

M: We’re kind of becoming like that here in Newtown. It’s fun and I like it.

P: Yeah. Well, the Mayor of Melbourne recently was on ABC News, which is our local broadcaster here in Australia. Melbourne City Council has just thrown, I’m gonna get my figures wrong here, so do forgive me. I think it’s $11,000 at a selection of 30 street artists to take to the alleys in Melbourne to revitalise Melbourne as they come out of lockdown.

M: $11,000? Each? It had to be each.

P: I’m not sure about the figures, don’t quote me on that.

M: Otherwise, that’s really piss-poor.

P: Yeah, I’m not sure about the figures. But she was, she was saying that, you know, we are the street art capital of Australia.

M: Oh! Here we go, laugh.

P: Oohh! It’s on! The [gauntlet] has been thrown.

M: Sydney, accepts your challenge, Melbourne.

P: Laugh! But I think it’s, I think it’s again it buys into so many different cities that we’ve seen, and we’ve mentioned before, like Vancouver and Berlin, that pay their artists to get out there and take over the streetscape.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And create places where people do gather, socialist, congregate and use those spaces.

M: And experience the art.

P: Yes, definitely.

M: Yeah. And so, our friend spent a lot of time exploring his neighbourhood, and it became almost a little game to see what else you could find, what else you could post and share.

P: Yeah.

M: So, there was the social aspect of showing friends, you know, what he was discovering every day and discovering new things and taking photos, and they’ll pop up on his Facebook.

P: Yeah.

M: Next year again.

P: Good use of social media.

M: Yep, and he’ll be able to revisit that and the experience of exploring his neighbourhood to find art.

P: Mmm.

M: Having said that, there are also so many museums in nearly every large city around the world. And I guarantee you, the longer you’ve been in a city, the less familiar you are with its museums.

P: Yeah, I’ll give you that. I’ve never really visited museums in the city that I’ve lived in.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: I’ve always done it when I travel, usually because it’s a time thing.

M: Yep.

P: I’ve got the time to wander into a museum. But I can relate a personal story here. I think it was the second time that I went to London, and I was on my own and it was freezing. It was so cold, and I was walking up towards Shaftesbury Avenue and it started to really rain, and I didn’t have a brolly [umbrella]. I was like ‘What am I going to do?’

M: Laugh.

P: And I ducked into a door that was open and it happened to be the National Portrait Gallery.

M: Aww.

P: And it was cold, and I was like in there, and I was shaking myself down and this person said, ‘Would you like a headset?’ And I was like, ‘Excuse me?’

M: Laugh.

P: ‘Are you coming in?’ I went, ‘Where am I?’

M & P: Laugh.

P: A long story short. I bought a headset.

M: Short story?

P: Short, short story. I got a headset, and I did this wonderful tour through the National Portrait Gallery. I was there for an hour and a half, and that was my first real museum experience. And I loved it and it hooked me. And I was so intrigued. And it was because I had the headphones, and I got the stories behind the paintings and behind the sculptures.

M: Yep. Well speaking of stories and speaking of the social connection and social cohesion, so many of these museums and art, so dance, theatre; They’re essentially storytelling.

P: Yes.

M: They’re telling the culture, telling the story of our culture. So, there is so much more to experiencing your own culture through painting or through dance, or that can bring to your life.

P: Yeah.

M: And we really, if we can afford it. And oftentimes there are many free museums out there as well. We really should be looking to lock in two trips next year, kind of getting to the end of this year, it’s time to be setting some goals, putting in some activities into your resilience planner. Thanks, Pete.

P: Laugh.

M: Your 2022 calendar. So, as you’re looking at, what trips can you take through the year, have a look at what free museums or performances are out there. Or, you know, if you’ve got a little bit of money aside that you can put towards it. These are great ways to plan for something. And we’ve spoken about the importance of planning for things and looking forward for things and hope.

P: Oh yes.

M: But also, they can really bring a lot of happiness.

P: Totally. You can even go even more local than that, like I was walking past my local church. Now this church is in Australia it’s old, it’s like 150 years old.

M: It’s ANCIENT!

P: Our European listeners are probably like, ‘what?!’ Laugh. But it’s this really lovely stone church and its opposite my greengrocer and I walk past it every week, and this week I walked past it and went, ‘Oh yes, live music is coming back.’ Chamber orchestras, quartets, performing in churches. It makes such sense because they’re brilliant sound acoustic areas.

But it’s that combining of culture, as you say, I mean, this is a local peace, and often you will find little local performances that are free and lunchtime concerts and so forth. And they’re a brilliant way to tap into that culture. If maybe you are a little bit reticent about buying a subscription to the Sydney Symphony or the theatre Company or the dance company.

M: There’s too many different ones to buy subscriptions to every single one of them.

P: Laugh. That’s where your friends are really important because they can get the subscription and take you along as a handbag.

M: Okay, great. I’ll lock you in for that.

P: Aahh! I’m a poor student!

M: Laugh.

P: Oh, I get student rates now. Yay!

M: Laugh!

P: I can get student price, I didn’t think of that.

M & P: Laughter!

M: I love it, I’m in.

P: Laugh.

M: So, I can’t remember before, I just wasn’t listening to you Pete, sorry.

P: Oh, no. All good.

M: Whether you mentioned any of the stats?

P: Laugh! I’ll just babble over here in the corner, laugh. I’m here for light amusement.

M & P: Laughter!

M: So, you did mention the Arts on Prescription programme in the UK, which we have mentioned before, but for those of you who are interested in the stats here, that programme was designed to address mental health issues.

So, people with depression, anxiety and a raft of other mental health conditions they were prescribed arts, so trips to museums and Theatre etcetera. And through that programme they saw a

  • 37% drop in GP visits.

P: Huge.

M: Which is General Practitioner or just your local doctor for people outside of Australia and a

  • 39% reduction in hospital admissions.

P: Big numbers.

M: Absolutely.

P: Really effective, and I know that the Australian government is looking at rolling out a similar program here in Australia on the basis of the success that it’s had in the UK.

M: Yeah, and the other thing is just the GDP [Gross Domestic Product] that the arts industry brings to any local economy, and they’ve really had it tough in the past 18 months.

P: They have. Yep, yep.

M: So, if we can start reinvesting in local theatre companies and performances over Christmas, there’s going to be a lot coming up over our summer months in Australia. But just a lot generally opening up around the world, if we can start reinvesting in that the benefits for society are huge.

P: Yeah. I was watching a show this morning that was talking about World War I and it struck me how amazing it was that we’ve got these images of the Battle of the Somme [1916] and things like this. There were photographers there who were there to document that kind of history and that’s all we’ve got.

And the presenters were trying to recall memories from soldiers, and they had all the letters that the soldiers had written. And these have become historical artefacts and that that’s culture.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: That’s artistic expression.

M: That’s our story.

P: Yeah, and they do last. And those letters are now being used to relay how personally it felt for that soldier being in the trench. And they weren’t just from Australians. They had some of the German ones as well. Giving a perspective of the battle, from their perspective of the bringers of death they were fighting in the, in the forests. It was really gripping stuff and quite emotional. But it’s really valuable. So, I think that investment in writing and writers and so forth supporting our authors, supporting our playwrights so important as a record.

M: And our photojournalists.

P: Yeah, definitely.

M: And everyone today can be a photojournalist.

P: Very true, very true.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And you know that’s the positive use of social media is documenting that, even if it’s only for your own personal reflection.

M: Your reflection, your gratitude. So, again we mentioned before looking back on positive moments can be really valuable.

P: Yeah.

M: Yeah.

P: So, one more data, before we leave which I really liked about this, that the direct social engagement in Melbourne and Sydney as a result of arts programs, and this was from a social data analyst called Neighbourlytics. I like that word.

So, they said that in Melbourne the engagement increased by 42% and by a massive 100% in Sydney. People posting photos of their own art when they couldn’t take selfies and they couldn’t go to galleries and all that sort of stuff that’s amazing. 100% in Sydney!

M: And that was engagement during lockdown. So how did we move our, when we weren’t able to go physically into a building? How do we move our consumption of art online and engage with everything online? And there are some fabulous virtual tours of big global museums.

P: Yes.

M: Well, maybe not all global. But big museums that you can go on as well. So, you don’t need to be in London, to –

P: No, to enjoy.

M: – see the masterpieces.

P: Mmm, and be moved by them.

M: Yeah.

P: It’s a great advert for the people who don’t think that they partake in culture.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Some people may need to rethink that.

M: The other thing that we talked about a while ago when we were creating our happiness… boxes. I can’t think of the word we used. Anyway, it was curating, curating an experience based on an emotion and pulling together different forms of art.

P: Oh yeah.

M: A movie or…

P: Yep.

M: So, if you are curating joy for your friends. You might pick a movie and a song and a saying and some art and bring everyone over to experience that.

P: Curate you own happiness gallery.

M: I don’t remember, who knows.

P: Laugh.

M: In one ear and out the other with me.

P: Still laughing. On that note, laugh.

M: I tell everyone what they should do, and then don’t do it myself.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Move on.

P: Bright light.

M: Pretty much, laugh. I do, do some.

P & M: Laugh.

M: All right. Well, we are done for today. So, I have a fabulous week and we will see you next week.

P: Have a cultural week.

M: A cultural week. Enjoy your cultural week. Please do write in, we love to hear from all our listeners. It just brightens our day and makes us happy.

P: It does, it makes a huge difference.

M: And every now and then we might do a call out as well.

P: Laugh.

M: So, thank you to everyone who writes to us and we’ll see you in a week.

P: Have a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background] 

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic. 

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out. 

M: Until next time. 

M & P: Choose happiness. 

[Exit music fadeout] 

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Volunteering and Happiness: Why Volunteering is The Superfood of The Positive Psychology Movement

by

International Volunteer Day takes place every year on 5 December. It’s an opportunity to celebrate and thank people all around the world who dedicate their precious time and efforts to voluntary service. It’s also a great opportunity to remind you that volunteering can have a huge impact on your happiness levels! 

What’s the Link Between Volunteering and Happiness? 

Volunteering is like the superfood of the positive psychology world. According to Dr Dawn Carr, author of 5 reasons why you should volunteer, volunteering has been shown to: 

  • Connect you to others 
  • Be good for your mind and body
  • Advance your career 
  • Bring meaning and fulfilment to your life 
  • Be good for society (of course!) 

Not only that but finding the right volunteering activity can also give you the benefits of other proven positive psychology activities such as finding purpose, being social, being generous and practicing kindness – which have all been shown to also improve mood, mental wellbeing, resilience, physical health and even longevity. 

Not convinced? Let’s dig a little deeper into what’s going on and how you can use volunteering to achieve a happier, healthier life. Read on! 

4 Ways Volunteering Make us Happier 

Does volunteering make us happy? The answer is a resounding yes!  

Volunteers have greater levels of happiness, life satisfaction, and psychological wellbeing than those who don’t volunteer. Here’s how: 

1. It Connects you with Other People 

Volunteering is arguably the best way to engage with your community. Making friends takes time but getting involved in an activity with other people gives you a reason to keep coming back each week while relationships deepen. Whether strengthening old bonds or meeting new people, working together over a shared interests connects you to people and that boosts overall happiness. 

In fact, economists Stephan Meier & Alois Stutzer released a study in 2004 which concluded that, “volunteering constitutes one of the most important pro-social activities and helping others is the way to higher individual wellbeing.” They found robust evidence that volunteers are more satisfied with their life than non-volunteers.  

Are you shy? Want to meet new people but hate walking into networking events alone? Volunteering is a great way to meet new people and work on your social skills in an environment with little pressure. Don’t know what to say to your new contacts? Simple. You can just focus on the task at hand until you get to know everyone a bit better. After some time, progressing to drinks at the pub or dinner after work will seem natural.  

2. It’s Great for Your Mental Health 

If volunteering keeps people connected, then it stands to reason that volunteering – and the relationships it fosters – can also help to improve mental health by combatting loneliness and depression. Having good friends and strong social contacts are buffers against depression – allowing people to talk through issues and problems before they become overwhelming.   

Not only that, but our brains are wired for social connection, so whenever we help others our brain releases pleasure hormones– further strengthening our mental health. Those meaningful connections can also lead to more empathy, which lead to more stress relief and help combat depression. Research from the UK found that volunteering was associated with a positive change in mental wellbeing, showing that people who volunteer become happier over time and those who volunteer more attract greater benefits from the experience. According to a Harvard study, volunteering at least once a week yields improvements to wellbeing equivalent to your annual salary doubling! 

Additionally, being helpful stimulates pleasure for the giver. Similar to when we experience awe, volunteering takes your focus away from self-reflection and helps to stimulate contentment and inspiration. In the Journal of Happiness Studies, researchers Douglas A. Gentile, Dawn M. Sweet and Lanmiao He found that doing good deeds through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier. They also found that simply wishing someone well can have a similarly positive effect on our moods. In fact, even witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, which aids in lowering blood pressure, and improves self-esteem, optimism and our overall heart-health. 

A 2018 study on workers in a Spanish Company saw those giving out acts of kindness were even happier and more content than those who received the acts. “Our results reveal that practicing everyday pro-sociality is both emotionally reinforcing and contagious inspiring kindness and generating hedonic rewards in others,” said researchers, J. Chancellor, S. Margolis, K, Jacobs Bao, S. Lyubomirsky in the American Psychological Association Journal. 

3. It’s Great for Your Physical Health  

As many of us have noticed over the past few years, just getting out of the house is important for meeting the minimum movement levels we need to maintain a basic level of physical fitness…. Yet sometimes it’s just easier to sit on the couch. Having something to do and get us out of the house – such as a regular volunteering commitment – is a great way to ensure you get some movement into your days. 

We know that getting more movement and exercise into our daily lives helps to combat a raft of diseases and conditions. Movement, and volunteering in general, has also been shown help lessens symptoms of chronic pain and reduces risk of heart disease. For retirees, the results of regular volunteering are even more pronounced, with studies showing regular volunteering yields improvements in blood pressure and chronic pain, and reduced risk of developing cardiovascular disease.  

In 2017, researchers looked at data on volunteering, employment and health of more than 40,000 European citizens. They found that volunteers are as healthy as non-volunteers who are five years younger. The researchers controlled for other determinants of health (gender, age, education level, migrant status, religiosity and country of origin) and found that volunteers were still in substantially better health than non-volunteers.  

Although the researchers found that increases in health could be partly explained by higher income among volunteers (which could be explained by the benefits of volunteering on job prospects), they note that the direct association between volunteering and health was so highly statistically significant that it ruled out association by coincidence. Volunteering conclusively and positively impact our health. 

“Firstly, volunteering may improve access to psychological resources (such as self-esteem and self-efficacy) and social resources (such as social integration and access to support and information), both of which are found to have an overall positive effect on health,” said professor Sara Willems. “Secondly, volunteering increases physical and cognitive activity, which protects against functional decline and dementia in old age. Finally, neuroscience research has related volunteering to the release of the caregiving-related hormones oxytocin and progesterone, which have the capacity to regulate stress and inflammation.” 

4. It Can Help Your Career  

Want to switch careers or industries, or build new skills for your next promotion? Think of volunteering as an unpaid internship, with all the benefits of gaining valuable skills while only working when it suits you. There are many organisations that will take eager, hard workers with little to no experience, or which are willing to take a bet on a worker who brings transferable skills from a different industry.  

Volunteering in a busy environment can enhance your problem-solving and communication skills. This can prepare you for a more demanding career or give you a glimpse of the realities of different role before you take the plunge. 

Volunteering can help you earn more experience and direct job skills that are relevant to the career you want to pursue. In fact, some volunteering opportunities are designed to offer intensive training to volunteers. In some cases, if you show determination and consistent results, you might earn a referral or a direct job posting. If you are an active job seeker, volunteering can add that much-needed weight to your CV. Finally, it helps you make connections and meet more people in the same field. This exposure increases your chances of finding a mentor who can shape your career faster or a potential new boss. Career fulfillment is a huge source of meaning, purpose and life satisfaction – especially in the modern competitive job market – so any attempts to bring you closer to a job you’re passionate about are well worth the effort! 

Finally, the research showed that volunteers have a higher incomes. According to professor Stijn Baert: “This finding corroborates with previous research showing that volunteering activities on one’s CV yield higher employment opportunities, especially for non-natives.” 

Volunteer Opportunities 

It’s clear that volunteering involves more than meets the eye. All of the benefits discussed here culminate in an increased level of happiness in oneself and more satisfaction in life. So, how do you get started? 

If you’re already working for a large corporate, many of them have partnerships where you can donate your time and skills. Otherwise, just get onto Google. There are many organisations and charities that are often on the lookout for volunteers. Why not look for opportunities to: 

  • Mentor someone 
  • Donate blood 
  • Get involved in a charity day at your work such as Australia’s biggest morning tea or join in a fundraising walk or cycle, or grow a mo for Movember 
  • Find an organisation you believe in or support and offer your time and skills on a regular and recurring basis 

If you’re in Australia, check out your state-based organisation or NSW Volunteering for more ideas and active volunteer jobs listings. Or you can try my latest favourite organisation: The Australian Resilience Corps. 

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!  

Does Volunteering Make Us Happier? (E95)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

International Volunteer Day, 5 Dec, is a great opportunity to remind you that volunteering can have a huge impact on your happiness levels! 

Show notes

4 Ways Volunteering Makes Us Happier 

1. It connects you with other people 

2. It’s great for your mental health 

3. It’s great for your physical health  

4. It can help your career  

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]  

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t. 

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy. 

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.   

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]  

P: …Oh, I’m red-lining. Hello, viewers. …Viewers! Listeners, laugh. I have not had a glass of Rose.

M: I’m not going to say anything. Keep going, Pete.

P: Laugh.

M: Welcome to the show everyone. 😊

P: Hi! Hi hi hi.

M: This is Marie and Pete –

P: Laugh!

M: – and Peanut butter and Jelly, the two cats.

P: Aww, we’ve referenced them, yay. Marie was all worried that her cats were making too much noise. I’m like, ‘It’s fine. Go with it! Run with it, reference it, –

M: Laugh.

P: – it’ll be amusing!’

M: It’s a family show, and I did find out this week that Biden has pardoned the usual turkeys in honour of Thanksgiving, and their names were Peanut butter and Jelly.

P: Laugh! Pardoned them?

M: Yes, so they don’t get killed for Thanksgiving. They go back and live free and happy lives on the farm.

P: He chooses two turkeys?

M: I think it’s normally one.

P: Oh.

M: I don’t know.

P: He’s being generous this year.

M: I don’t know enough; I should have read into this. I really need to research more about the things that I randomly mention on this show.

P: Laugh! Oh god. If we did that, we’d be here forever!

M: Laugh.

P: And I’d never shut up.

M: It would be a very stilted conversation, wouldn’t it?  

P: Laugh, it wouldn’t be good. And I’d be called on all my crap, laugh!

M: Yes, laugh.

P: Yeah so, I’ve been going since eight o’clock this morning.

M: My brain feels fried.

P: Ahh.

M: I’ve put a lot of my brain towards thinking today.

P: Oh.

M: Having said that, we did all of our prep for today’s show before today.

P: Laugh.

M: So, you’ll get solid research.

P: Solid research, very statistical data, very scientific data –

M: Very scientific.

P: – with no vagal tone being mentioned.

M: Laugh, very scientific. We’re moving on from that.

P: Laugh. So, what are we talking about this week, Marie?

M: Well, coming up on the 5th of December is International Volunteer Day.

P: Yay! Everybody go out and do something fun!

M: And that’s the point. Volunteering for a lot of people is something that you do because you have to, because ‘Mum said so.’

P: Oh! It’s so much more than that. And we’ve talked about this before in one of our very early episodes, way back when we were young, and green, and keen, and

M: bright eyed and bushy tailed?

P: Oh, I know! I was like a little squirrel. Squirreling, squirreling up the tree!

M: Mush… mush in our heads right now people.

P: Pootle. I meant to say pootle. Pootle is a good word.

M: …So, I say ‘absolutely’ too much, and you say ‘clock’.

P: I’m not using the C word anymore. Snigger.

M: Well, I don’t agree with the C word.

P: Laugh!

M: It’s quite offensive and sexist.

P: Laugh. So, it’s the ‘P’ word now, pootle-ing.

M: My new favourite verb. Thank you, Pete, for bringing that to our attention.

P: Laugh.

M: We will be doing far more pootle-ing from here on out.

P: Lots of pootle-ing. Pootle-ing and pootle-ing on Volunteering Day.

M: So, I have no idea what we’re talking about. But when we were wide eyed and bushy tailed, we did discuss volunteering. We’re gonna circle back on it because it’s that time of year and it is such an important catch all.

P: Mmm.

M: Really, for mental health and happiness.

P: And it’s also one of those things that you don’t realise how beneficial it is until you actually do it.

M: It’s the blueberry of happiness.

P: Oh! The blueberry of happiness!

M: It’s the superfood.

P: Wow! Laugh. Can I be broccoli?

M: Broccoli is not a superfood.

P: [Gasp] Oh! How dare you.

M: Because no one likes broccoli.

P: I like broccoli.

M: They like blueberries.

P: I’m going to be on the fence on that one.

M: Ok.

P: Give me a steamed broccoli and I’m good.

M: Right, well volunteering is the broccoli blueberry of food.

P: Laugh!

M: So good for you? And it ticks so many boxes.

P: It does.

M: So today we’re going to talk about four ways of volunteering that make us happier.

P: Oh! What’s number one?

M: Numero uno.

P: Tell me? Tell me? Tell me? Tell me?

M: It connects you with other people.

P: Ah! Good old, social pillar.

M: Yes.

P: What are the three pillars that we stand on? One of them is social connection people.

M: Social connection, meaning and purpose, which volunteering can also give you. And the third is health and happiness, which… [drumroll] guess what we’ll be talking about soon.

P & M: Laugh!

M: But back to social connection.

P: Social connection, because why? Un-social people die!

M & P: Laugh!

M: So, let’s get into the studies because there’s some really cool studies on volunteering.

P: Well, you’ve got quite a number on this one.

M: I have.

P: I’m quite impressed on your study.

M: My research.

P: Yeah.

M: So, let’s go straight to someone who is bound to be credible with the cynics… An economist.

P: Laugh.

M: So, economists Steven Meier and Alois Stutzer released a study way back in 2004 which concluded that

“Volunteering constitutes one of the most important pro-social activities and helping others is the way to higher individual wellbeing.”

P: I like that, higher individual well-being.

M: They found robust evidence, –

P: Ooh!

M: – not just evidence but robust evidence, that volunteers are more satisfied with their life than non-volunteers. 

P: I’ve got an example of this.

M: Enlighten me.

P: The Country Women’s Association.

M: Oh, it is. It is such a… like It’s a tribe. It’s crew. It’s a gang.

P: Laugh!

M: It’s scary.

P: Laugh! So, for our overseas listeners, the CWA is, for those of you in the UK, it’s the Women’s Institute.

M: Oh.

P: I’m not sure of the American Association that is the equivalent of the CWA. It stands for Country Women’s Association.

M: And they have them down south.

P: In America?

M: It is the pearl wearing, cardigan wearing country ladies’ societies. They do fundraising, and they look after the community.

P: Yes.

M: They come together and do bake sales when someone’s sick or you know they’ll, they’ll drop off a lasagne if someone’s in hospital or etcetera.

P: Laugh, yes.

M: They’ll knit booties for the new baby on the block or whatever it is.

P: Mmm.

M: So, they’re the life blood of these communities.

P: Absolutely. I mean, I come from rural Australia and my mum should have been the president of our CWA because CWA, it’s a really good organisation where these women come together, and they literally choose a charity. It’s like, ‘Who can we help this week? Who is in need of assistance?’ And it’s this lovely organisation where they can be quite large.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: I mean in the hundreds.

M: Yeah.

P: To form a community organisation and their powerful. These women hold power, I mean they can influence elections.

M: Mmm.

P: Simply by swapping a lamington recipe.

M & P: Laugh.

P: So, they had this way of being able to bring people together, or organise connections, possibly of their husbands, who one might be a farmer, the other one might be a politician. Bringing those people together because they bring them into the house, or they bring them into the home.

M: They host.

P: Exactly.

M: They’re the social lubrication.

P: Oh! Oh, I just got moist. Laughter!

M: Not that kind of lubrication, Peter!

P: Laugh, sorry.

M: My mum was with an organisation called Quota, which does something very similar.

P: Oh, yeah, yeah.

M: And for a very long time, she used to go down to the local club, the Southern Cross Club in Woden in Canberra, and she used to have conversations with migrants.

P: Ah, perfect.

M: So, they’d come in, have a cup of tea.

P: Yep.

M: It was free tea and coffee down at the local club. Sit down, and for an hour or two they just talk about everything and anything in English.

P: So brilliant!

M: So that they could practise their speaking skills and meet people.

P: Yeah.

M: And get out of the house and form other friendships.

P: Yep.

M: Such a simple, simple thing. And it led my mum to making friendships with people as well that she wouldn’t have otherwise met.

P: Mmm, yep.

M: That was really poor grammar or whatever I said just then.

P: Laugh.

M: But you get my point.

P: Absolutely. Like you see Mammut down at the local supermarket and you’re like, ‘Oh hi Mammut, remember me I’m Beryl’, that connection is really important.

M: Mmm, absolutely.

P: And if someone is struggling, it’s like I know this person. I can help. I have a connection with them already. It’s something good about integration, I fully support the CWA, they are a burgeoning society.

M: So, back to volunteering.

P: Sorry.

M: It does connect you with other people.

P: Yes.

M: And so, whether you’re in an organisation like CWA or Quota, or whether you volunteer at the RSPCA and pets are more your style, not people.

P: Yeah, exactly. Laugh, socially awkward.

M: There is still also something that gets you out of the house and speaking to other people.

P: Precisely.

M: And there’s so much value in that.

P: Absolutely.

M: All right. Number two.

P: Tell me?

M: It is great for your mental health.

P: Another pillar of our…

M: Mmm hmm. Half of pillar three.

P: Well, we can’t call it a house, ‘cause that need four pillars, four supports? Trapezoidal?

M: Well now they’ve got, like, buses that are houses.

P: On three legs?

M: What about tents and Tepees? That could be threes.

P: Yeah, that could be threes. The yurt.

M: And we digress again.

P & M: Laugh!

M: We will revert back to yurts another time.

P: Laugh!

M: So mental health.

P: Still laughing!

M: So, our brains are wired for social connection and whenever we help others, our brains release the pleasure hormones.

P: Whoo! Where’s some Barry White.

M & P: Laugh!

P: Let’s get it on!

M: So, I love this study that was done in 2018 by Sonja Lyubomirsky and her colleagues.

P: Oh! We love Sonja.

M: I’m sorry, Sonja’s colleagues, but I know Sonja’s name.

P: Laugh! We’ve practised Sonja’s name a few times.

M: So, they published in the American Psychological Association Journal about a study they did on workers in a Spanish company, and they assigned them different roles. Some of them had to give out acts of kindness.

P: I remember this one, yeah.

M: Yep, And the results show that practising everyday pro-sociality is what they call it. So being nice and kind is both emotionally reinforcing and contagious, and it inspires kindness in others.

P: Absolutely.

M: But not only that, they found that not only the people receiving it get a benefit, but the people giving get a benefit too.

P: They get more of a benefit apparently.

M: Absolutely. So that’s the first thing. So, volunteering comes back to you two fold.

P: Yep.

M: And then there was another study in the UK that found that volunteering leads to a positive change in mental well-being, so people who volunteer become happier over time. And then a Harvard study showed that volunteering at least once a week yields improvements to well-being equivalent to your annual salary doubling.

P: Now that speaking to the money man.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Who doesn’t want more money? Laugh.

M: Could you imagine how happy you’d be if they doubled your income tomorrow?

P: Absolutely, you’d be like, ‘Oh, my goodness, that’s amazing. What can I do?’

M: But we now know that you would adjust to that level and expect more the next year.

P: Laugh!

M: But volunteering is an increase to your happiness levels that’s maintained over time. This is what we talk about when we talk about the difference between getting a pay rise, getting a bigger car being on that hedonic treadmill.

P: Yeah, laugh.

M: Versus, doing the things that day in, day out they contribute to higher sustained levels of happiness.

P: Yep.

M: So volunteering is in that second bucket.

P: And the sustainability of volunteering is actually larger than giving someone $20 or something. Just donating. Like actually, volunteering has a longer effect from the studies that we’ve done previously. That effect of happiness is much more longer lasting.

M: Yep, absolutely. Particularly if you do something like this, Harvard study said.

P: Yep.

M: Once a week, go volunteer for Little League training or coach at your local club or mentor a disadvantaged youth for become a Big Brother.

P: Mmm, yes.

M: There are so many different organisations out there that are doing amazing work and a lot of the times they will help to train you up as well.

P: Yes.

M: And give you real skills.

P: Which leads to, oh I jumped in there! I pre-empted, laugh.

M: You could see where I was going.

P: Laugh!

M: It’s like we’ve done this before, Pete.

P: No, never. Laugh. [Whisper] We haven’t rehearsed a thing.

M: So, number three; Can help your career.

P: Yes, I can fully support this one. I had years of volunteering at my local volleyball club, which is where I met a rather fabulous woman sitting to my right. Laugh.

M: I thought you were gonna say where you met Wally.

P: Laugh. Oh Wally! Good old Wally. Wally the big, muscly, German.

M: Laugh.

P: He was a very impressive man when I first met him, I was like ‘Oh, my God. Who are you?’ Umm… Hi, Wal if you’re listening.

M: Giggle.

P: But, it really does have a huge impact on your work. I volunteered for the volleyball club and all of a sudden, I was writing spreadsheets and I was arranging events and I’ve never done any of this before.

M: Oh, you took it all in stride.

P: And then totally jumped in. And then all of a sudden, that boiled over into my career and I started arranging schedules and spreadsheets and calculations and so forth for my business, and it wasn’t even a conscious decision. It just happened because I knew how to do it. That skill set is still serving me today on so many different levels of being able to arrange my study schedule for university. I’m waiting for the Physio Socks Society to actually grab me.

M: Laugh.

P: I’m like, ‘No, I don’t know anything. I can’t do anything to help. You’re not going to pick me up.’

M: Laugh.

P: And if any of my physio students are listening to this go away.

M & P: Laugh.

P: I don’t have time. Laugh. But it is. It’s so beneficial in terms of developing your skill set.

M: And a lot of organisations will also put serious energy into training volunteers. So, I know organisations like Lifeline that do over the phone counselling will put many, many hours’ worth of training and effort into up-skilling their volunteers.

P: Yeah, mmm.

M: And a lot of those volunteers stay with them for decades.

P: Yeah, and it leads to a lot of other opportunities within organisations as well.

M: Yep.

P: I’ve got someone in mind that I know that wants to get into support counselling and so forth and that’s…

M: A perfect way.

P: A perfect avenue, yeah.

M: So, it’s not only perfectly to gain skills, it’s also a perfect way to test out a potential career switch as well.

P: Yeah, yeah. Totally.

M: It’s like an unpaid internship.

P: Mmm.

M: Not only do you gain new skills or the skills that you might need in a new role if you’re considering that, but you also get to network with people in your industry and it might be your future boss or put you in touch with your future boss.

P: Yep, yep. Yeah, I fully support that one it’s such, uh, if your feelings stayed and board in your job, volunteer and be open to those of your opportunities. That’s the other aspect of that equation, making sure that you will remain open. I digress.

M: It also. No, you don’t digress that was right on topic.

P: Oh, yay. Good!

M: I’ll finish this one out. So, it’s also back to foundation number two. It’s also a huge source of meaning and purpose and life satisfaction.

P: Mmm.

M: And a lot of us were promised these amazing lives and were told to chase our dreams. Or we’re just simply told to go for the career and the degree that would give you the most –

P: The recipe for a good life?

M: – give you the most money.

P: Yep.

M: You know. Go be a lawyer or an accountant or an actuary.

P: Stability, yep.

M: And then you’re bored out of your mind in your job. But you’ve got a mortgage and a family, and it’s a good income. And so, a lot of the ways that we can bring that, that passion for life back again is via these other commitments that aren’t work.

P: Mmm, yes.

M: Any attempts to bring you closer to a job you’re passionate about are well worth the effort. Or even if it’s just Saturday afternoons and you’re finding your passion there, that can really lift your wellbeing overall.

P: Mmm, mmm.

M: And lastly, in this category, the research shows that volunteers have higher incomes. So, according to Professor Stijn Baert,

“This finding corroborates with previous research showing that volunteering activities on ones CV yield higher employment opportunities, especially for non-natives.”

P: Ahh.

M: So, if you’re a migrant, go in and volunteer straight away.

P: That’s interesting.

M: Start building that CV out and show that you’re contributing to community. You’re more likely to get jobs out of it, and you’re more likely to get higher pay out of it.

P: Mmm.

M: And all right, we’ll move to the last one, which is the second half of the third pillar. So, back to healthy mind and body. We’ve jumped around a bit.

P: Laugh.

M: It’s great for your physical health.

P: Yes.

M: So, let’s.

P: Laugh. Well, it sparks off a physicality within us. I mean, it’s sparks off a certain…

M: It gets you out of the house.

P: Yeah, it’s an energy. You feel engaged, and that has so much to do with our brain activity and stimulating the different areas of our brain and getting that motivation to actually, ‘Oh, maybe I will go through a little jog or something, because I’m focused and I’m engaged’, and there are so many other things that are going on that it helps to propel you forward into so many other avenues.

M: Once you’ve dealt with the mental health, positive mental health aspects, it definitely does improve your motivation.

P: Mmm.

M: As we all know, when things like Covid hit and make it very apparent. There’s this thing called incidental movement.

P: Yes, Aarghh.

M: And before Covid hit, a lot of us would get up in the morning, shower, dress, walk out the house, get on the bus or get in the car, get to a train, walk between car parks or bus stops, etcetera.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Up into the office. And then we’d go into the kitchen at some point mid-morning, we’d walk over to the bathroom.

P: Yep.

M: All of that’s incidental movement.

P: Mmm.

M: And when Covid hit are incidental movement dropped to a five-metre radius.

P & M: Laugh.

P: Yep.

M: Right, and a lot of people had negative health impacts from that.

P: Hugely.

M: And that also again, tightly linked with mental health. Right?

P: Definitely.

M: And what we find, particularly with retirees, is when you take away that morning reason to get up and get out of the house. They do what a lot of us did in covid.

P: Yep.

M: And again, unless you’re really aware of it and in tune to it, you can end up experiencing the exact same mental health implications and physical health implications as covid when you retire.

P: Yep.

M: So, you don’t have a reason to get up, you start sleeping in more. You might start drinking a little bit more or not looking after yourself as much, not moving all of that.

P: Yep.

M: So, volunteering gets you up and out of the house. It gives you a reason to move and put even just that basic, minimal level of daily movement back into your day. So that’s the first thing.

P: Yep.

M: So not only that, but then the science shows that the movement and volunteering in general has also been shown to help lessen symptoms of chronic pain and reduce risk of heart disease. So, all of this is interlinked as well, just getting that movement into your day.

P: Mmm.

M: But also, depending on what the volunteering activity is, you might be adding even more movement into your day as well. Not just the getting to and from.

P: Yeah, well, it’s things like volunteering for an organisation that might put housing opportunities together so you might be moving a couch for someone or going and doing someone’s windows or –

M: Mowing lawns.

P: – yeah, all that sort of stuff. Yeah, it does have a certain physicality to it. The heart disease one is an interesting one. I mean, that comes from –

M: – lower stress, better mental health outcomes, all tied to heart disease as well. So, there is again the cross links in here.

P: Yeah.

M: Everything is connected.

P: Yeah.

M: And then we’re nearly finished. So, last study in 2017 researchers looked at data on volunteering, employment, and health of more than 40,000 European citizens, and they found that volunteers are as healthy as non-volunteers who are five years younger.

P: Five years younger!

M: So, if you want to look five years younger.

P: No need for the Botox. Go and get a little dosage of volunteering.

M & P: Laugh.

M: So obviously, there’s so much in here about causality and all of that. So, I will say that the researchers controlled for other determinants of health, like gender, age, education level, et cetera. And they found, still, despite all of that, the volunteers were still in substantially better health than non-volunteers.

P: Mmm, yeah.

M: Now it is fair to say, and it is true to say that people with higher incomes tend to volunteer more often, and people with higher incomes have better health outcomes. More often, however, they looked at all of that and conclusively volunteering has a positive impact on our health.

P: Thank you randomised control trials.

M: Laugh. They did it all proper.

P: Yeah.

M: Alright, I’m not going to do this last quote because we are well over time. But as always, it’s been a pleasure.

P: Laugh. It’s been emotional.

M & P: Laugh!

M: And on that note. We’ll see you next week. Have a happy week.

P: Bye!

[Happy exit music – background]  

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]  

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How To Live a Happy Life – The Harvard Study That Started it All

by

How to Live a Happy Life

The Benefits of Social Bonds For a Happy Life 

Like any scientific field, positive psychology has a raft of research and many competing voices. Yet, if there’s one thing nearly all of the scientific community agrees on, it’s that community and connection are critical elements of good mental health. The one, sure-fire way to bolster and boost your happiness is with strong relationships with friends and family.  

Studies show that social people are more happy, and happy people are also more social. The happiest people have a core group of people they can talk to and tend to have a wide community network, through activities like church or regular volunteering.  

Their close friends and family help to amplify the mental health benefits of happy times – celebrating and cheering them on when things are going well. On the flip side, happy people can depend on their friends and family when things get tough. Close friends and family provide a shoulder to cry on, and they’ll will pick you up and push you forward when you get stuck and when life gets you down.  

We know all this thanks to many, many studies. There’s this study, which showed that social engagement and connectedness may simply be the single most powerful factors for cognitive performance in old age. There’s also this 2019 study by Harvard Medical School, which revealed that people who have close social connections, have reduced levels of Cortisol (stress hormone). 

But if you want to understand the importance of building deep connections with others to your health and wellbeing, there’s one definitive study that started them all: The Harvard Study of Adult Development.  

Related reading: How To Make Friends As An Adult 

The Study That Started Them All: The Harvard Study of Adult Development 

The Study of Adult Development is a longitudinal study which aims to identify the psychosocial predictors of healthy aging. This ongoing Harvard study is considered one of the world’s longest studies of adult life – starting in 1938 during the Great Depression. 

Over that time, researchers have followed the lives of two groups of men: the Grant Study includes 268 Harvard graduates from the classes of 1939-1944 and the Glueck Study includes 456 men who grew up in the inner-city neighborhoods of Boston. 

Over more than 80 years, researchers have tracked the lives of these 724 men, following up with each one annually to ask about their work, home lives and health. Researchers sent out questionnaires, conducted in-person interviews, collected medical records from their doctors, drew blood, and scanned brains and more. These mental and physical health and social variables helped reporters understand how these factors could predict health and wellbeing in late life.  

With such a raft of information, researchers have been able to publish findings on dozens of topics, including what aspects of childhood and adult experience predict the quality of intimate relationships in late life, and how late life marriage is linked with health and wellbeing, such as these recently published papers.  

In 2015, about 60 of the original 724 men were still alive and participating in the study, most of them in their 90s. And the study had begun a new phase, called the Second Generation Study, in which researchers began studying more than 2,000 children of the original participants. 

Related reading: Are Strong Friendships the Answer to Your Covid Woes? 

What One of The World’s Longest Studies Tells us About Living a Happy Life 

So, what have we learned from this study?  

As mentioned at the beginning of this article, perhaps the most important lessons we’ve learned from this epic, ground-breaking study is that wellbeing and happiness are intricately and strongly linked to friendships, social connection and love. 

Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School, is the fourth and current director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” Waldinger said in The Harvard Gazette in 2017. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.” 

The study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned into relationships, with family, with friends, with community. “It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community are happier – they’re physically healthier and they live longer than people who are less well connected” said Waldinger in his widely popular 2015 Ted Talk. “The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”  

On the flip side, people who are lonely or more isolated than they want to be from people are less happy and their as they reach middle age, their health declines and they end up leading shorter lives.  

In the end, it’s the quality of close friendships and relationships that mattered. When looking at the data over time, the researchers wanted to see if they could predict who would make it to their eighties and be happy.  

“When we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn’t their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80,” said Waldinger. “And good, close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.” 

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!   

How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life

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How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life

What is a Psychologically Rich Life?

We talk a lot about happiness and how to achieve it on this site, but if there is one thing I have learned in my exploration of happiness, it’s that achieving happiness is extremely subjective. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for someone else. But, the journey of finding what works can be more fun, bring more joy and lead to greater self-discovery than finding the right happiness habits on day one. 

So, I always love finding a new theory or way of looking at the pursuit of happiness, and this week I discovered the work of University of Virginia psychologist, Shigehiro Oishi, who defines happiness and wellbeing as a ‘psychologically rich life.’  

According to Oishi, a psychologically rich life is characterised by variety, depth, and interest. It is a life without boredom, and full of novel experiences. As someone who gets bored far too easily, this kind of happiness appeals to me! 

What’s interesting about this theory is that ‘novel’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘pleasant’ experiences. In fact, the research shows that experiencing things that push our limits or push us out of our comfort zone can be extremely beneficial to our mental health, often resulting in great feelings of accomplishment, gratitude or personal growth.  

Recent research into understanding good stress verses bad stress back up this idea. For example, University of Rochester psychologists found that re-evaluating how you perceive stress can positively impact your mental health, general wellbeing, and success. Their study, which was published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, found that training students to treat their stress response as a useful tool helped them to reduce anxiety. The shift in perception also helped them get better marks on tests, procrastinate less, stay enrolled in classes, and respond to academic challenges in a healthier way. The study builds on his earlier research on optimising stress responses. 

Psychologist Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman agrees. “The psychologically rich life is full of complex mental engagement, a wide range of intense and deep emotions, and diverse, novel, surprising and interesting experiences. Sometimes the experiences are pleasant, sometimes they are meaningful, and sometimes they are neither pleasant nor meaningful. However, they are rarely boring or monotonous,” says Kaufman, who describes himself as a cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist exploring the mind, creativity, and the depths of human potential. 

“Recent research on psychological richness has found that it is related to, but partially distinct from, both happy and meaningful lives. Psychological richness is much more strongly correlated with curiosity, openness to experience and experiencing both positive and negative emotions more intensely,” says Kaufman in a recent article the Scientific American. 

Dr Kaufman talks about the psychologically rich life as including: 

  • Deep emotions 
  • Diverse experiences 
  • Novel experiences 
  • Surprising experiences, and 
  • Interesting experiences. 

So how do you know if you’re living a psychologically rich life or just a ho-hum, comfortable life? Well, Oishi has a simple test for that. 

Take the Test! Are you living a Psychologically Rich Life? 

In their research, Oishi’s team poses questions to measure a person’s level of psychological richness, or propensity toward novel experiences. So, if you’re up for it, it’s time to do some soul-searching and see how you rate the below statements. Grab a pen and paper and write down the answers on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree) and see how you go. What you do with your final score is up to you. 

  • I have had a lot of novel experiences. 
  • My life has been full of unique, unusual experiences. 
  • My life consists of rich, intense moments. 
  • I experience a full range of emotions via first-hand experiences such as travel and attending concerts. 
  • I have a lot of personal stories to tell others. 
  • On my deathbed, I am likely to say ‘‘I had an interesting life.” 
  • On my deathbed, I am likely to say ‘‘I have seen and learned a lot.” 

How to Live a more Psychologically Rich Life 

If your above answers leave a little to be desired, there is so much you can do to get your life back on track. Here are three ways to challenge yourself that are also proven to positively impact your mental health. 

  1. Travel somewhere new: People dreaming of travel post-COVID-19 now have some scientific data to support their wanderlust. A new study shows frequent travellers are happier with their lives than people who don’t travel at all. 
  1. Do an online course: A study found that participants in online psychology courses saw increases in well-being from their baseline measures. If these classes have long-term benefits, they could become reliable public health interventions. 
  1. Find Your Purpose or Pleasure: (Psychology Today). Some argue that a sense of purpose is the key to healthy aging; others maintain that fun is more important. Research bolsters the idea that purpose is highly beneficial as we age, but some research also points to pleasure as essential for healthy mood. Creatively combining pleasure and purpose in these 7 ways might yield the best results. 

If none of those ideas takes your fancy, then take a look at this fab article I found called “30 fun things to do if your summer holiday has been cancelled” for some inspiration for fun things to do.   

Please note that I get a small commission if you buy something from my site. Your support helps to keep this site going at no additional cost to you. Thanks!

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!  

Coronavirus: Tiny Moments of Pleasure Really can Help us Through this Stressful Time

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Desirée Kozlowski, Southern Cross University

If I told you that last night I built a blanket fort in the living room, crawled inside with my cat, a glass of wine and my just-arrived copy of the New Yorker, would you think less of me?

After all, we’re in the midst of a global coronavirus pandemic. Borders are closing, people are sick, dying, losing their jobs, and locked in isolation. And there was I, playing – as though I didn’t have a care in the world.

Meanwhile, you might be reading this holed up at home, screaming with fury at those bloody hoarders. Or perhaps you’re on a train valiantly trying to keep 1.5 metres away from the next person, shrinking back as they cough and splutter.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whatever you think about the pandemic, the economy, or your compatriots, a tiny part of you knows you could do with a bit of pleasure right now.

Read more: What is hedonism and how does it affect your health?

The Effects of Sustained Stress

When we’re first exposed to something stressful, like a deadly new disease, our body reacts with a cascade of small changes such as releasing adrenaline and other chemicals, and activating brain regions related to fear and anger.

In many cases those changes make it more likely we’ll meet the challenges we face.

But if the stressful conditions continue, and especially if we feel powerless to fix the situation, the consequences of the stress response increase.

Read more: Coronavirus is stressful. Here are some ways to cope with the anxiety

Our risk of chronic diseases increases, immune function can be compromised, and we become more vulnerable to mental health problems.

We can feel depleted, disconnected, anxious and depressed. We can become fixated on negative thoughts and on looking for signs of threat. Sound familiar?

The good news is the effects of stress on the brain are reversible.

Pleasure in Times of Stress

It may seem too simple to be true but shifting our attention toward the small, everyday pleasures in our lives can offset the consequences of stress or negative events.

US researchers reported last year that experiencing pleasurable emotions, for example having interesting things to do, serves as a buffer between chronic stress and depression. So, among people with sustained, high levels of stress, those who reported more pleasurable moments were likely to experience less severe depressive symptoms.

Pleasurable experiences might even be of most benefit in times of stress.

We experience pleasure in a myriad ways. Perhaps one of the most potent of pleasures, and one that springs most easily to mind, is a lover’s caress.

Read more: Coronavirus and sex: Dos and don’ts during social distancing

But to maximise the pleasure in every day, we should look more widely, to a multitude of sources.

If we’re too busy reading those alarming headlines to notice the beauty of the sun setting outside our window though, it’s a missed opportunity for a moment of delight.

When I recently asked people on Twitter to share the things bringing them delight in these challenging times, I received hundreds of replies within a couple of hours.

Each one was a small vignette conveying a personal moment of simple pleasure. Gardens and dogs and children and nature featured strongly, and many people reflected on the added pleasure of recalling such moments.

Indeed, recollection and anticipation – along with relishing pleasure in the moment – are effective ways to maximise the value of positive experiences or emotions. We call it “savouring”.

Luckily, we can get better at savouring with practice. And the more we savour, the less stressed we feel. And that’s why I’m here.

If we increase the pleasure we experience, it can lift our psychological well-being. In turn, higher well-being is linked to better immune function.

Read more: Running out of things to do in isolation? Get back in the garden with these ideas from 4 experts

It’s About Boosting our Personal Capacity

My message is not to avoid the facts or pretend nothing has changed. It’s to intentionally build in moments of reprieve and restoration. It’s to turn your attention to what is still good and rich and fun – to really focus on those things.

This is how we can harness the protective power of small pleasures, for the sake of delight itself and to build grit and resilience.

So, there may never have been a better time to build a blanket fort, or to bring out a game of Twister, or to lie on your back in the garden making fantasy creatures out of passing clouds. Find excuses to giggle.

Read more: Social distancing can make you lonely. Here’s how to stay connected when you’re in lockdown

Making Pleasure Happen

In difficult, frightening times, no one is immune to worry; it’s a natural response. But what we can do is take steps to protect ourselves, as much as possible, from its physical and psychological ill-effects.

The challenge is to make this happen, to tear yourself away from analysing the COVID-19 curve and intentionally, systematically engineer more small delights into your day.

Do you like the sunshine? Then know when the sun falls on your balcony, in your garden or in the street near your place. Take a cup of tea or coffee with you and soak up the warmth.

Read more: Cat lovers rejoice: watching online videos lowers stress and makes you happy

Pets? Run, play, be silly with them. Eating a tomato? Plant the seeds and watch something grow, from nothing, because of you. Sing. Dance. Delight someone with an act of kindness.

Plan your opportunities for pleasure. Put them in your diary. Set your alarm for them. Commit to share them with others. Photograph them. Post them on social media or share them directly with friends and family. Anticipate them gleefully and reflect on them with delight. This is our time to be here. Savour.

Desirée Kozlowski, Lecturer, Psychology, Southern Cross University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources! 

11 Studies That Show Taking a Walk Will Make You Happier

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What’s the link between taking a walk and your happiness? 

 

Recently, I hurt my back and I admit it negatively impacted my mental health and resilience. Aside from the ongoing pain and interrupted sleep, I also wasn’t able to exercise, and I found myself spending a lot of time laying down on the couch.  

There are definitely worse things than binge watching cool shows. And the irony here is that this behaviour is also what I would consider my go-to for a lazy Sunday afternoon of self-care. It’s also very similar to how I’ve spent many hours over the last 18-months since Covid hit… but for some reason, this time, it really impacted my mood… 

… until I started walking.  

Now, hindsight is a wonderful thing. It’s funny when you look back on the things you know you should, but don’t, do. I’ve done so much research into the mental health benefits of simply taking for a walk – which I was quite able to do despite my back pain — yet I didn’t do it.  

Until I did. I started out with a quick walk around the block for 10 minutes at lunchtime. That turned into a 30-minute walk the next day, which developed into a 30-minute walk every day. And it makes me feel great. Not only that, but the movement started to help my back recover, rather than hurt it – win-win! 

So, here I am to say, even people who live and breathe all this positive psychology stuff (the converts) get it wrong sometimes. And, as a reminder to me, and maybe to you, in this article, I’m going to refresh my memory and explore eleven studies that show why taking a walk will make you happier.  

Read on! 

11 Studies That Show Taking a Walk Will Make You Happier 

1 Being around birds linked to higher happiness levels (World Economic Forum). Greater bird biodiversity can make people more joyful, according to a study published in Ecological Economics. The happiest Europeans are those who see the most bird species in their day-to-day life.  

2 Street trees have a positive effect of on mental health. Daily contact with trees in the street may significantly reduce the risk of depression and the need for antidepressants, according to research by a De Montfort University Leicester (DMU) academic. 

3 Heading outdoors keeps lockdown blues at bay. A study found that spending time outdoors and switching off devices, such as smartphones, was associated with higher levels of happiness during periods of COVID-19 restrictions. 

4 Pick up the pace and get your heart pumping. Researchers are stressing the important links between your mental health and heart health. And they’re calling on clinicians to screen and address mental health when seeking to treat heart conditions. 

5 Take your lunchbreak and get outside in the sun. A recent study shows that spending time by the sea makes people happier. It also showed that just being outdoors makes you happier — preferably in a non-urban environment, but hey, we’ll take what we can get!  

6 Boost your immune system by walking around trees. Not only does being around trees increase our mental wellbeing, it also has a positive impact on our immune system! Who knew?  

7 Take an awe walk. Studies show that experiencing moments of awe makes us more generous and patient, and helps you deal with stress better. If you feel a need to get out of your head, go take in that vista, take a hike, get into nature, or whatever helps you find your awe—it just might help. 

8 Take a moment to look at nature: On your way to work? Popping into the shops? Wherever you are, be sure to stop and smell the roses, or at least notice them. Research says that observing nature — wherever you may be — will make you feel happier.  

9 Be Active: A study that examined data from almost 34,000 people has found that as little as one-hour of exercise per week, regardless of intensity, can help to prevent depression. So, get out there and something, anything, for just an hour and you can reap the benefits! 

10 Take a happy stroll: Researchers have found that simply going for a leisurely walk can improve mood and boost subjective well-being, particularly for adults who are normally sedentary.  

11 Get out!: No really, get outside! The findings are in - the more green-space in the neighbourhood, the happier people report feeling. Quite simply, if you want to feel better, just go outside.  

Finally, for those of you who can’t currently go for a walk, or even get off the couch or out of bed, or for those who just need to switch off for a bit and zone out in front of the TV, don’t feel bad at all, this recent study shows that watching TV in lockdown was beneficial for people. While going for a walk, exercising, sleeping well and investing in relationships have all been shown to positively impact mental health, this latest research shows it doesn’t hold true that watching TV is always bad for our mental wellbeing. As with all things, if we go about it the right way – in moderation – you can find your happy place while sitting on the couch too. 

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!  

Creating Your “To Be” List (E90)

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Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about self-awareness and “To Be” lists, what they are and why you need to create one.

Show notes

Character Strengths

Click on the following link to do a free online survey to find out what your strengths are and how they can help you. VIA strengths assessment 

How to know what you want to change or reinforce? 

Ask yourself the question, On your deathbed, what would you regret? Or what would you change?

Create Your “To Be” List

Think about and then write down five values or attributes that you would like to incorporate into your life. These can be things that you already excel at or just wish to improve. Whatever they are focus on your emotional growth. This is my (Marie) to do list to show as an example.

  1. Kind and caring 
  1. Fun and happy (bring joy to others) 
  1. Accepting and non-judgmental 
  1. Honest 
  1. Present 

Use reminders to make positive change. Creating a “to be” list is about giving yourself a reminder for things that aren’t part of who you are. When they become second nature, you can remove the daily reminders.

Transcript

Creating You “To Be” List (E90) 

[Happy intro music -background] 

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.  

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.  

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.  

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny. 

[Intro music fadeout] 

M: Hey, hey!

P: How are you, Muz?

M: I’m good. How are you?

P: I am happy this week because someone’s coming back to Sydney.

M: Oh, I am.

P: My best friend is coming back to Sydney.

M: Yay! That’s me!

P: Yeah, it’s all about you, laugh!

M: And we’re in the same five k (km) zone.

P: Ah.

M: So, we can picnic as much as we want.

P: Laugh.

M: So, what are we talking about today?

P: Ooh, we are talking about [Shakespearian accent] “To be or not to be. That is the question.” Let’s make a “To Be” List!

M: So, we will get into “To Be” lists in a second. But really, what we’re talking about is improving your own emotional intelligence checking in with yourself.

P: Mmm.

M: All of the soppy, 21st century,

P: Laugh.

M: BS.

P: Laugh, the stuff that you turned your back on before you visited all this happiness bullshit.

M: [The stuff] that is so important for an open and happy life.

P: The tools, the tools that actually help you to be happier.

M: Absolutely.

P: Which we talk about a lot.

M: We do talk about how to be happy a lot.

P: Mmm.

M: It’s kind of the reason we exist, isn’t it?

P: Laugh, I guess so.

M: Not existentially.

P: Laugh.

M: Although, I would argue that maybe we do exist to be happy, that’s a whole other season.

P: That’s a nice thought. I liked that thought. We should exist to be happy. We shouldn’t be. Yes, we shouldn’t be toiling and working away at things that don’t improve our level of enjoyment of life. Why bother? Laugh.

M: I’m with you. Mm.

P: One of the sort of roundabouts that we came to in discussing today’s episode was the value of self-awareness.

M: Oh.

P: Now, if we throw back Marie to when you were pre-Happiness for Cynics.

M: Pre-accident.

P: Laugh, pre-accident. If I said to you, pre-accident, I had said to you, “self-awareness.” What would that have meant to you? If you can cast your mind back to being that cynical person?

M: … Idiots who have no idea of what they, you know, the havoc they wreak at work.

P: Laugh.

M: Or the impact they have on people around them. Very low opinion of people with no self-awareness. But what’s funny now that I’ve grown more mature.

P: Laugh.

M: Aged, we’ll say, and have more experience is that there’s a lot of high functioning people out there with no understanding of their own self, and a lot of them work in the finance industry, I’ve come to realise.

P: Ahh, ok right.

M: Laugh.

P: Your industry?

M: My industry.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Yes, a lot of people with big egos and really to switch is neutral and angry.

P: Interesting, yeah. Do you think those people are aware of their happiness and aware of their access being content and happiness?

M: I think these are the people who are on that hedonic treadmill that we’ve talked about, right?

P: Yep.

M: They’re the ones who get their happiness from the positive affect in their life. So, when they get the promotion, when they get the bigger house, they compare themselves to others quite often.

P: Yep.

M: And they look at their success in comparison to those around them in their friendship circles and in their neighbourhoods. And if they’re doing well on that front, then they believe they are happy. But as you and I both know, that type of happiness is only ever a short lived and then you’re striving for the next thing.

P: Yes.

M: And so, I think they spend a lot of their times on that treadmill there. They’re the rat in the rat race running around in circles just for that one moment where they get the promotion, and they go out to dinner and pop a bottle of champagne.

P: Yep, yep.

M: And they would argue that their lives better.

P: Mmm.

M: Than your life or my life because they’re got more.

P: Yes.

M: They’ve got more success; they’ve got more recognition.

P: Laugh!

M: They’ve got more, more, more.

P: I’m going to quote Cruella Deville here “You fools, you idiots, you imbeciles!”

M: Laugh! And that was where I was stuck pre-accident, right? And I was doing well. I was being successful at life, which is what I was told mattered. And, boy is it a 180 when… and I feel like I’ve joined the hippies.

P: Laugh!

M: I really do.

P: [Singing] “Let, the sunshine!” You’ve got roses in your hair and you’re running around naked with a sarong. Oh, I’m sorry, that’s me.

M & P: Laugh.

P: Interestingly enough, I come from the other side of the perspective with my new chosen career path that I’m going down and we’ve actually been doing a lot of technical study in one of my units at uni on self-awareness and the value of self-awareness as a health professional and that whole concept of being self-aware so that you can better inform or better deal with others.

M: Mmm.

P: And being in, in the non-finance industry, which is probably a complete flip. In the health care industry where you are there to trying to take care of other people and make other people feel better. There’s a lot of research that supports the placebo effect and that sometimes it is not about the physical intervention of what you’re doing to the person’s body. It’s actually about being a nice person to them and making them feel better. That actually has a lot of value in terms of making someone feel better about an illness or a disease or their situation.

M: Or in convincing them to take action.

P: Yes, oh yes, we’re going to come to that one.

M: And I will absolutely say that it might not be immediately apparent. But the finance industry needs this just as much as the health care industry.

P: Hmm?

M: So, insurance, where I am right now, people are calling up and they’ve just had their house burned down, with their pets inside.

P: Yeah…

M: Or they’ve had a car accident and they don’t know how they’re going to support their family for the next three months because they’re in retail and they’ve broken their leg.

P: Yep.

M: Or, you know, on and on and on and on. And an ability for someone to answer a phone and to behave… like a human being, laugh.

P: Laugh.

M: With empathy and care.

P: Yes.

M: It is so important. And similarly with banks where oftentimes, when things are going good, you don’t call your bank. You call when things are going wrong, you know? When you’ve lost your job, when you can’t make a payment, etcetera, etcetera.

P: Yeah.

M: Again, just so important for people to be able to have enough self-awareness that they’re not carrying all of their baggage into every conversation that they have in life, whether it’s at work or with people around them.

P: Mmm. One of the direct quotes that I’ve got here from one of the texts that I’ve got from a tool is that “self-awareness increases self-understanding to the point of being able to control your emotions, thoughts and behaviours.”

M: Yep.

P: You can look at all these finance people who are walking into meetings or conferences, and if you just come out of a really stressful interaction or a really aggressive confrontation, how to get control of those emotions. How to find that still point where you actually can control yourself to enter each new conversation at a base level.

M: Or more to the point when I’m having a tense, angry conversation with someone, I know that they’re getting angry because of their baggage, and it has nothing to do with me.

P: Yes.

M: So, I don’t need to escalate.

P: Yeah.

M: So, I need to be detached from their emotions and understand it’s got absolutely nothing to do with me. It happens really often, particularly in customer service. People come in angry.

P: Yep.

M: And so, just being able to understand others better.

P: Yeah, balance the demands of the interaction.

M: Yep.

P: Balancing everything from the perspective.

M: Yep.

P: Yep.

M: Martin Seligman is big on strengths and understanding your strengths and big [on] understanding yourself in order to be more emotionally aware and in order to open yourself up to happiness and be happy. We’ve spoken about before, you can go to the Penn State website and download for free the VIA Strengths Assessment, in order to better understand your own strengths so that you can double down on those the thinking used to be that you want to be well rounded in everything so you focus on your weaknesses in order to become better at them.

P: Yes, yeah.

M: Nah. It’s BS. Throw that out.

P: Laugh!

M: The thinking has evolved, double down on your strengths so that you can do things in which you can succeed easily and continue to make that part of what you do day in, day out. Who doesn’t want to succeed more often?

P: Absolutely. One of the ways of actually focusing on your strengths is assessing those strengths and asking the right questions of yourself.

M: Yes, the other day, poor Francis.

P: Laugh.

M: I am still studying with Happiness Studies Academy, which is amazing, and every week is just opening my mind to so much new thinking and what I do love about Tal-Ben Shahar is that he started his studies in philosophy. So, we get a real cross of psychology with philosophy and, you know, ancient thinkers and amazing texts to read.

P: Laugh.

M: But one of the things that he was talking about in last week’s class was, you know, on your death bed, what would you regret? Or what would you wish you’d done more or less of?

P: Oh, that’s a good question. Laugh.

M: So, I went running in and my husband was in the shower, and I was like, ‘Great, you’re trapped and have to talk.’

P: Laugh! You trapped him in the shower recess with his naked body so that he couldn’t leave. Laugh!

M: Exactly. I pulled the toilet seat down and sat down and went, ‘Okay, here we go.’

P: And he finally went, ‘Oh, dear, I’m stuck. I have to talk to her.’

M: Pretty much, laugh. You can picture it, can’t you?

P: I can actually, laugh!

M: So, you know, and again, it’s just a great exercise to ask yourself if you were on your deathbed tomorrow, what would you regret about your life? Or if regret is too strong a word? Because for me, I try to live a no regrets life, you learn, you don’t regret, and you learn that there are things that you don’t want to do ever again rather than you regret.

P: Ok.

M: So that’s personally just a mantra I live by.

P: Ok.

M: But there are things that I would change in my life. So, another way of asking that is on your deathbed, ‘what would you say you wish you’d done more or less of?’ So, for example, some of us might say I wish I had spent less time at work.

P: Yeah, yeah.

M: Or I wish I’d spent more time with my family or I wish I had spent less time stressing or worrying.

P: You mentioned that you were talking about before the episode Marie that this helps to clarify what’s important.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And I think that that’s really vital. And again, this comes back to self-awareness and doing the work of being self-aware and doing some self-reflection time, so that you ask those important questions and really can clarify. So that when someone like you slams you in the shower –

M: Laughter!

P: – and they sit down on the toilet, they’re going ‘right Pete.’ You’ve got the answers, you know what’s going on and that consciousness and that awareness of those answers and questions, I think is really powerful, because when you’re faced with a choice, you have the tools ‘you’re like, well, I know that this matches with my values, so I’m going to go this route.’

M: And really, this is what it’s all about. So, we spoke ages ago about authenticity and the importance of authenticity. So, when your values and your behaviours and your actions and your thoughts all align, then you can live a happy life.

P: And that’s a lot of work.

M: It is.

P: Having those four elements, it’s tough.

M: And if you’re not checking in with your values and your thoughts and your behaviours on a regular basis, they change over time.

P: Exactly, yeah.

M: So you’ve got to keep going back to them and making sure they’re still valid. And the person I was when I was 20 is very different from the person I am now.

P: Mmm, mm, yeah.

M: But I wouldn’t I give yourself a must check in. I would highly recommend journaling. And for me, that’s been a real catalyst for better understanding myself. And you can do the one sentence journal.

P: Yep.

M: You know. Every day, ‘what have I learned about myself?’ One sentence. So, one of the great ways that we like to one of the great ways that I like to, or I have reflected on my life is with a “To Be” list.

P: Mmm.

M: So, it’s sitting on my whiteboard behind me,

P: Laugh.

M: which Pete can see and essentially a “To Be” list, is my daily reminder, because I come into this room every morning and I sit down to do my writing and then to do my work for the day. I sit down and I walk past my “To Be” list and this is a list of five things that I want to be.

P: Mmm.

M: So, when I asked myself, what would I wish I’d done more or less of on my deathbed? For me, the things that I wish I’d done more of is understand myself, when I was younger, pre-accident, my life is very much a pre-accident and post-accident.

P & M: Laugh!

M: Chapter one and chapter two kind of thing.

P: Yeah, yeah.

M: So, pre-accident I’d spent way too much time at work. I’ve spent way too much time trying to be perfect, being a perfectionist and worrying and stressing about things that weren’t perfect. And I’d spent way too much time trying to succeed. And I wish I’d spent more time understanding myself in order to be happier.

P: Mmm mm.

M: And my “To Be” list kind of extends on that. So, I’ll read through my five and then Pete, I’m going to put you on the spot.

P: Oh!

M: And ask you – calm down.

P & M: Laugh.

M: And this is, you know, another take on ‘you are what you eat.’

P: Oh yeah, I like that.

M: Or you put out into the world, and you behave in a way that you yourself focus on being. So, this is about setting up a reminder, you could put it on your desktop, or you could write it on your whiteboard like I did.

And it’s about reminding myself to make sure that I prioritise these things in my life that make me who I want to be. And when they become second nature, you can remove those reminders so you can set yourself up a calendar reminder or a phone alarm. Great way to just make sure you’re reminding yourself to ensure that that change happens.

P: Mmm.

M: So, my five are:

  • I want to be Kind and Caring.
  • I want to be Fun and Happy.
  • I want to be Accepting and Non-judgmental, and for me, this is really about slowing down.

M: I get busy and I don’t stop to put myself in other people’s shoes and then to understand the other person sitting across from me. I am, as I mentioned before, I tend to go towards perfectionism and stress, so being accepting and nonjudgmental and really stopping to listen.

  • Number four is Honest, and I have a really strong radar for right and wrong and fair. So that’s a value that I strongly believe in is honesty, and
  • Five is Present. and this is again an area that I think I have a lot more growth to experience. But I would like to be more present more often. And when I am, I notice my mental well-being is so much better.

M: So, this list is somewhat aspirational, somewhat already part of who I am, you know, and there are some gaps that are bigger maybe in others as far as reconciling who I want to be and who I am today.

P: I like the fact that it’s both reflective and prospective.

M: Yes, I fail at these quite often.

P & M: Laughter.

P: It’s the giving yourself permission to fail as well. And it’s there. And it’s the, the wonderful thing is to know when you have failed.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: I think that’s really, that’s being present. That’s really understanding that, ‘Oh, I didn’t do that very well or I could have done that better’, because next time when you’re faced with that situation, you may well just do it better, because you you’ve got that self-awareness enough and you’ve actually spent some time reflecting on ‘Ooh, was that the right way to approach that situation, or did I perform that well enough? Maybe I can increase this aspect.’

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And you won’t get that clarity unless you spent some time sitting with that uncomfortable [understanding] as we talked about before.

M: Yep. Absolutely. All right, so in the last few minutes, what would you have on your “To Be” list?

P: Oh. I’ve been madly scribbling here whilst you, uh, were talking, laugh.

M: Maybe you added something to your list, active listening. Laugh.

P: Oh, I got assist on that last week. I was fabulous! Laugh!

M: Ok! …

P: Laugh. All right. So, I’ve got four. I’ll have to come up with the fifth one, but first one is

  • Aware.

M: Aware?

P: Actually aware, being more aware of myself in space and others around my space. So that’s one that I think that I like and just stopping very quickly here and reflecting on what I just said about you, Marie, I’ve tried to include some retrospective and some prospective stuff in this.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, this next one you’re going to laugh at and this is definitely me when I was up until maybe age 30.

  • Less Dramatic.

M: Oh Why!?

P: Laugh! There’s a negative side to be dramatic. There’s a positive side, I will clarify that, but yeah, less inclined to jump to emotional conclusions.

M: Oh.

P: And I think this was me before I discovered this self-awareness and my study in Buddhism and the present being and then all that sort of compassion work. I was so inclined to jump down the throat of anyone that didn’t agree with my opinion or see the negative straight away. It was like instead of actually going, ‘Oh, what’s their perspectives?’ So that’s a really important one for me is curtailing my emotional responses.

M: I only ever get positive emotional responses from you I feel.

P: Oh, you’re so nice to me, oh my Lord. This is why I like you.

M & P: Laugh!

M: Because we feed each other’s egos.

P: We do. Exactly.

M: Laughter!

P: And this is why we’re fabulous.

  • My third one is Generous, generosity.

And again, I think that I fail at this sometimes in my, in my current state. Yeah, I’d like to be more generous. I’d like to. I like to do half a shit that I say I’m going to do.

M: Can I tell you about the last time I tried generous? I know we’re running over time, so I’ll make this quick. We were driving on a Sunday, and we passed an elderly gentleman coming up the hill on his bicycle and it was starting to rain.

P: Oh wow.

M: And I said to my husband, we should stop and offer him a lift. We’re in the ute. We could have thrown the bike in the back. Could have given him a lift. And he turned the corner, because we we’re turning the corner and he was like, ‘Really? Do you really mean that?’ and I was like, ‘Well, kind of yeah I do.’ And he was like, ‘well, should I turn around?’ and I was like, ‘Oh, well, now we’ve gone…’, like by this stage, we’ve gone further on, and I couldn’t actually then, like anyway, it ended up becoming an argument. Laugh!

P: Oh dear. Laugh! All from the good intentions of being generous. And the kind Samaritan.

M: Yes. Yeah. Anyway, that was me trying to be nice, but ah fail.

P: Oh well…

M: All right, what’s your last one?

P: My last one. Oh, I have to think of one… I would have to say.

M: Didn’t you say you had four?

P: I have four. But I don’t like this last one because I kind of covered in the last one about being generous.

M: Okay, we’ll leave it at three for today, because it did put you on the spot.

P: No, I’m going to give you this one,

  • Being Committed.

M: Laugh, I can commit you. That’s easy.

P: Laugh!

M: There’s a home down the road.

P: No thanks Muz. Being committed. So, committing to myself and committing to my own expectations, but also the expectations that I set for other people and that other people might sit for me. So, following through, following through.

M: Mmm.

P: I say something I want to follow through on it.

M: Mmm, I like it. And Forgive Yourself if you don’t.

P: That can be number five.

M: Laugh.

P: Thanks, Muz.

M: Alright. Well, on that note, I do hope that if you’re listening that you take these two activities. Actually, we snuck a second one in there. Even though the title of this is creating your “To Be” list, the second one in there is the exercise of what would you regret or wish you’d done more or less of on your deathbed? Really great little exercise to help you unpack, whether your life is where it should be and whether you’re spending time in the right places.

P: Yes.

M: And then this other one is to write yourself a “To Be” list. And not only that, but to set yourself a reminder. So put it somewhere visual, up on the wall or something, or put it into your phone. Once you’ve got it written down and set yourself an alarm or a calendar reminder.

P: Put it on the fridge.

M: There you go. All right. Well, have a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background] 

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic. 

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out. 

M: Until next time. 

M & P: Choose happiness.  

[Exit music fadeout] 

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The Great Attrition is Only the Start of the Happiness Revolution

by

Happiness Revolution

The Happiness Revolution is finally happening, and it’s starting in the most unlikely of places… our workplaces.

All around the world, millions of employees have started rising up and taking control of their lives and their wellbeing. They’re saying “no” to corporate platitudes and mediocre work environments. They’re saying, “enough is enough.”

You see, since early 2020, we’ve all been thinking… we’ve been thinking about what’s important in life… a global pandemic will do that to you.

We now know we want to work to live, not live to work. We don’t value long work hours and bad work environments. We do value time with our family and friends, a slower pace of life, less stress, more time. Better wellbeing.

As organisational psychologist Adam Grant writes, “For generations, we’ve organized our lives around our work. Our jobs have dictated where we make our homes, when we see our families, and what we can squeeze into our downtime. What if we reversed that, and started planning our work around our lives?”

So, our jobs have to change. They have to enable, not hurt, our wellbeing. We don’t want to work 50-hour weeks, in horrible work environments with horrible bosses and colleagues. We want jobs that we’re passionate about. We want meaning and a sense of satisfaction from the work we do.

We also want flexibility. Not flexibility to work more hours, blur the lines between home and work and eventually burnout. No, we want flexibility to put our lives first and our jobs second. If we want to take a class at lunchtime, or pick up the kids from school, then we’re now looking for jobs that can fit around our personal wellbeing priorities, not the other way around.

Source: Work Chronicles | Comics about work (twitter.com)

Finally, we want positive, happy work environments, and we will no longer put up with bad bosses or teams. If we do have to spend 40 hours a week with a group of people, we want to at least enjoy their company and feel like a solid team working together to achieve a goal.

In a Wired article called The Great Resignation is here and no one is prepared, recent job quitter, Ashley said, “I want a job that suits my life and means I’m not tied to a desk all day, every day. And if I don’t feel happy, I can just quit. There are more than enough jobs out there.”

Ashley is the face of the Happiness Revolution.

You might be thinking that I’m exaggerating. Surely, I’m just talking about a handful of those pesky entitled millennials. This phenomenon can’t be that endemic, can it?

Sorry, it is, and we’re seeing it across all generations, all around the world. People are voting with their feet, by leaving their jobs in droves.

Global consulting firm McKinsey surveyed employers and employees in Australia, Canada, Singapore, the U.K. and the U.S. and found that forty per cent of employees were at least somewhat likely to quit in the next three to six months. In the U.S., an astounding 11 million people quit their jobs between April and June, according to the US Department of Labor.

Source: Ms. Young Professional (@MsYoungProfess) / Twitter

It’s the Start of the Happiness Revolution

The conditions are now ripe for mass disruption. For the first time since the first Industrial Revolution – before the slow degradation of organised labour over the past century – workers have the power, not the large corporations. We know there are plenty of jobs in the market, and thanks to social media we can easily organise ourselves and share information about the wages, conditions and benefits others are getting. Not only that, but we’re seeing the start of a post-Covid boom as economies pick up again, leading to more jobs than qualified people.

Now that we, the workers, have the upper hand, we’re calling out the long-ignored disconnect between the rhetoric at the top (or from the HR department’s glossy brochures and web pages), and the lack of any hiring processes that screen for true leadership. We’re saying “no” to bad bosses, who communicated poorly – or not at all – during the past 18 months. We’re saying “no” to the leaders who only care about making their bosses happy, who take all the credit for the team’s work, and who couldn’t even tell you whether you have a family, let along know that little Johny has been sick. We’re saying, “good luck micromanaging us from home!”

Employers need to up their game, and pronto. They need to realise they can’t just throw around empty statements like “employee engagement is important” and “we value our employees,” while hoping that the jerk they just promoted because he gets the job done will remember to use the corporate reward and recognition platform a couple of times a year. Nope, thanks to Covid, employees now expect more.

As millions of people around the world quit their jobs – sometimes in response to terrible leadership and wellbeing support during Covid, sometimes due to the fear of a mandated return to the ‘pre-Covid’ office environment, and sometimes in search of greener pastures – it’s clear there is no going back. No matter which way you look at it, the Great Resignation is here, and the Happiness Revolution is underway!

Sidebar: Before we move on, I do want to apologise to those ‘entitled Millennials’ who spent the past decade asking for jobs with purpose, true opportunities for growth, and flexibility – because they had already realised that life isn’t only about work and the rat race. After a couple of years of burnout, anxiety, soul-searching and eventually (for most of us) growth, the rest of us are now onboard. We finally get it. Sorry it took us so long.

woman sitting on sofa while looking at phone with laptop on lap
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

3 Steps to Retaining and Attracting Employees During the Happiness Revolution

Leaders, this is your wake-up call. If you want to retain any of your top talent, or attract any of the talent currently, or soon to be, on the market, you need to get onboard with the happiness revolution. The good news is that happy employees are more productive and more successful, so it’s a win-win.

All it takes is a bit of effort and time. Listen to your employees, get to know them, and as much as possible, have authentic conversations with them about what they want. The research in this space has been around for years, it’s time to finally prioritise it. Here’s what you have to do…

Help you Employees Find Purpose and Meaning – and not Necessarily With you

Leaders need to get back to mentoring their team members, being their biggest cheerleaders and helping them to reach their potential. This starts with having conversations to find out who your employees are and what they want out of life. It means knowing and caring about their lives outside work. It means knowing what drives them and what they care about. And once you know what they want, it means actively advocating for your team members, promoting their achievements and taking their career advancement into your hands.

More than anything, it means helping them find meaning in their job, or helping to craft a role that can provide that meaning. And if that’s not possible, it means helping them build the skills to eventually move onto another job that will deliver purpose and meaning. This might seem counter-intuitive, but they will work harder for you while they develop those skills and be an advocate for you and the organisation when they do leave (which they would have done anyway). Maybe one day they’ll return with deeper skills and more appreciation and loyalty.

None of this is new, but in a post Covid world, and in a fight for talent, there is no longer any time to dawdle. As organizational psychologist and bestselling author Adam Grant says in this Wall Street Journal article, “The Great Resignation isn’t a mad dash away from the office. It’s the culmination of a long march toward freedom. Flexibility is more than choosing the place where you work. It’s having freedom to decide your purpose, your people, and your priorities.”

We know the best way to succeed is to help others succeed. So get to it, because if you don’t invest time into helping your employees find purpose, they’ll look for it elsewhere.

Related reading: What Makes a Job Meaningful and Why That Matters

Provide True Flexibility – for all

Somewhere in the past 18-months – between Zoom calls, stretchy pants, and sourdough baking – we realised we no longer want “work-life balance.” We just want a life. A good life.

We’ve realised the dichotomy of work and life that is implicit in the term ‘work-life balance’ is false. We were not put on this earth to hate our jobs, work 50-hour weeks, work through our lunch breaks, never take leave, and suffer such severe burnout and stress that it impacts our physical health.

Meanwhile we try to cram every good experience into the remaining evening and weekend hours. Constantly ticking off our to-do list and never feeling rested. Then eventually we die.

NO THANK YOU.

That is not life. And that is not living.

The great thing about the global Covid work-from-home experiment is that we now know we can be productive when working from home. Despite leaders’ fears, nothing fell apart. In fact, the stock market has boomed since early 2020.

The work-from-home experiment also shone a light on inequity. Caregivers – who are disproportionately women — don’t necessarily want to go back to a world with an additional two hours of commute time, on top of an eight-hour workday and a few hours of caregiving squeezed into the remaining hours of the day. People on minimum wage don’t want to have to come back into the office, spend money on expensive work attire and CBD-priced lunches.

This experiment has shown we work 100% from home and still deliver results. So why then are some leaders talking about everyone coming back into the office?  Flexibility doesn’t mean everyone gets to work one day a week from home, it means you ask each and every worker what works for them, and you accommodate their needs. Nothing short of this will lead to retention of good employees.

Related reading: How to Move on From Job Burnout

Happiness Matters – Have Some Fun

I don’t know why organisations are so tied to employee engagement as a metric of success. No employee wakes up thinking, “Jeez, I hope I’m engaged today.’ But many millions of people are leaving poor-fit roles, depressing teams, bad bosses and in-flexible companies because they are not happy. Ask any parent what they want most in life for their children, and they’ll say “happiness.”

It’s simple really. Happiness matters. As psychologist and happiness author Shawn Achor found in his research on workplace happiness, happier workplaces are more successful.  “When we are happy—when our mindset and mood are positive—we are smarter, more motivated, and thus more successful. Happiness is the center, and success revolves around it,” he said.

As we enter the happiness revolution, and employees expect their happiness to matter, we need to bring some fun and joy back into workplaces and teams. Spend time laughing and learning together. Ask your employees, “what makes you happy?” Then make them responsible for contributing, but also take charge yourself for building a happy culture.

“Each one of us is like that butterfly in the Butterfly Effect. And each tiny move toward a more positive mindset can send ripples of positivity through our organizations our families and our communities.”
― Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work

Related reading: Fun Isn’t Only for Children – Here’s How to Make Your Life More Fun!

 

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

School of Positive Transformation

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Living a Psychologically Rich Life (E89)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete discuss what it means to be living a psychologically rich life and how to reach your potential.

Show notes

Measuring your Psychological Richness – according to University of Virginia psychologist Shigehiro Oishi and his team.

Just answer on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree) and see how you go! What you do with your final score is up to you 🙂 

  • I have had a lot of novel experiences. 
  • My life has been full of unique, unusual experiences. 
  • My life consists of rich, intense moments. 
  • I experience a full range of emotions via first-hand experiences such as travel and attending concerts. 
  • I have a lot of personal stories to tell others. 
  • On my deathbed, I am likely to say ‘‘I had an interesting life.” 
  • On my deathbed, I am likely to say ‘‘I have seen and learned a lot.” 

Recommended book on monogamy in the 21st century

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background] 

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.  

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.  

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.  

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny. 

[Intro music fadeout] 

P: [Dame Edna voice] Hello darlings.

M: [English accent] Hello.

P: Laugh, we’ve gone English!

M: I’m not going to keep that up because I don’t feel like being vulnerable right now, laugh.

P: Oh, that’s not good, are you ok Muz?

M: Ahh… yeah. Just, just tired. Tired, which just makes everything, you know, that bit testier and yeah.

P: Yeah, resilience gets low when we’re tired.

M: Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. So, we were just talking about a lovely listener who wrote us a beautiful message. Her name’s Laura.

P: Hi, Laura. We love you, Laura. Thank you so much for your email. It was so lovely to hear from you.

M: And we’re dedicating this episode to Laura, who’s had a tough year. A lot of us have, but [she’s had] a particularly tough year. So, Laura is also a positive psychology fan and is working on her own podcast.

P: Yes!

M: Which she’s yet to launch.

P: Come on, Laura, you can do it!

M: Laugh.

P: Just jump in! Turn towards the tidal wave with open arms and dive in! Laugh.

M: Be vulnerable, do it!

P: Laugh.

M: We’ll be your first listeners.

P: Absolutely, absolutely. I love what she said in the email because she talks exactly about what we talk about here on the podcast, the interest in positivity and being creative and finding different ways of reframing and being vulnerable and… just hit that open button and just go for a Laura! Share it! Because that’s ultimately the best way to create more energy and to create more connections.

M: And who would have thought, Pete, that anyone would give two hoots about what we have to say?

P: Laugh! I know, hello?!

M: When we launched my Mum, your sister, my sister were our only listeners.

P: Laugh, yeah, yeah.

M: We do have some lovely, like good friends that we know of. But there are hundreds of people who tune in every week to listen to us have a chat, laugh.

P: Laugh. Crazy really!

M: It is.

P & M: Laughter!

M: We’re calling all our listeners crazy. That’s probably not smart marketing.

P: No, definitely not. We’re fabulous. We’re artists, we know that we’re fabulous.

M: Well, our listeners are fabulous.

P: Yeah, our listeners are fabulous. Out listeners are unicorn idealists, laugh!

M: Absolutely.

P: Laugh!

M: I actually saw a lovely quote, which said, you know, next time you think ‘oh, I can’t believe we’ve got to work from home’, remember that you have a home, and you have a job.

P: Very true. Very true. Miserable being must find more miserable being and then he’s happy.

M: … I have no idea what that means.

P: Laugh!

M: What did you say, a miserable being must find another miserable being and then he’s happy?

P: Look up, Lady and the Tramp, the Russian Wolfhound talking to the Tramp. You’ll get it, laugh!

M: All right. Thank you for that clarification. We all have our marching orders, laugh.

P: Laugh!

M: Me and our listeners, laugh.

P: The Lady and the Tramp 1947. Don’t quote me on that, laugh. [1955!] Anyway, moving on.

M: Moving on. What are we talking about today?

P: A psychologically rich life.

M: A psychologically rich life.

P: Mmm.

M: And I don’t think that anyone, in my entire… 21 years has ever said to me it’s important that you have a psychologically rich life.

P: I love this idea. I think it’s brilliant. It’s kind of, it is that thing of turning towards the world and going ‘Come at me. I’m ready!’ Laugh, bring on everything.

M: I think it’s a real… struggling for the right word, real example of how far we’ve come since we grew up, in the early 2000’s.

P: [Snort] Laugh! That’s being very generous!

M: Laugh, ok in the 21st century. When we grew up back then [late 1900’s] mental health and psychology were… I mean psychology was purely about fixing the ill, the mentally ill.

P: The seriously mentally ill, yeah.

M: I said purely – we do acknowledge that positive psychology was around at that time but really was in its infancy. And secondly, like no one talked about mental health.

P: Yes.

M: It was like death and taxes – not death and taxes, wrong thing.

P: Laugh.

M: Health and money. You never talk about it. Very English.

P: Not a conversation one brings up in polite society.

M: Mmm hmm, and nowadays it is on the front page.

P: Mmm.

M: Self-care is on the front page of every woman’s magazine. Men have magazines dedicated to mental health. You guys are lagging a little bit behind us women, we cottoned on a bit earlier, you know.

P: Yeah, you’re so much more emotional. Laugh!

M: Not only that but more in touch with our emotions. I would argue that men are just as emotional because anger is a very, very strong emotion.

P: You don’t, you don’t have to justify that. That was completely tongue in cheek. Let me qualify for our listeners, laugh. Uh, there’s this wonderful programme that I’ve been watching about Australian politics and the role of the female in Australian politics.

M: Yep.

P: And there’s this, there’s this whole point that they make about, that’s a line that is levelled at women when they are getting aggressive and they’re getting passionate. It’s like ‘Oh, stop being so emotional.’ I’m like what the?

M: Mmm hmm.

P: No, I’m not being emotional. I’m being direct. I’m being assertive.

M: Passionate.

P: Yes, exactly. And I’m all for the passion and displaying passion.

M: Oh, we know you’re all for passion.

P: [Fake offended voice] What are you saying? How dare you suggest such a thing.

M: Can’t tell you what I’m saying, it’s a PG show.  

P & M: Laughter.

M: Anyway, back to a psychologically rich life.

P: Yes, sorry. We digress.

M: Laugh, we digress. We tend to do that a lot.

P & M: Laughter.

M: So, this idea is very much driven by University of Virginia psychologist Shigehiro Oishi.

P: Well done.

M: Who defines happiness and well-being as a psychologically rich life. So, we talk about happiness and what is happiness, and Shigehiro, says happiness is about living a psychologically rich life, and that is a life that is characteristic by:

  • Variety,
  • Depth, and
  • Interest.

P: Mmm.

M: So, it’s about not being bored and about having novel experiences.

P: I like the use of the word novel because… it’s not about just the pleasant, fluffy stuff on top. It’s about everything. It’s having the lovely, beautiful, indulgent moments. But it’s also about some hard nuts of reflection.

M: Novel for me means things like chasing new experiences all the time and the one thing that makes me think, ‘Oh, I don’t know if I’m quite on board with this’ is what does that mean for monogamy?

P: Wow. Okay!

M: Laugh, we’re going there.

P: I’m strapping myself in, laugh.

M: And I think there’s some great feminist literature, and I’ll have to find the books and put it in the show notes. [see above]

M: Some great books out there that talk about monogamy in the 21st century and how there’s a pull between wanting novel, we search for novel things in life. We get bored quite easily as humans.

P: Yep.

M: Especially, you know, one year, two years, five, ten, twenty, thirty years in.

P: Yep.

M: You know, if you’ve been with someone, there’s not much you don’t know about them after about three years, you know, once that honeymoon period is over, right?

P: Sure.

M: And the reason we have that honeymoon period is because we’re finding out new things, right?

P: Mmm, mmm.

M: However, love relies on that depth of connection over time, the real deep love. So, if you always end your relationships when those honeymoon periods end then you’ll never get that true depth of connection.

P: Okay, I like the way you’re describing this. This is. Yeah, I’m with you.

M: So, I think for monogamy, you’re giving up on that novel-ness with that one person you spend the rest of your life with.

P: Mmm.

M: That’s what you’re agreeing to not have.

P: Hmm.

M: Open relationships, kind of is a new thing that a lot of, not only LGBTQ people are considering nowadays, but straight couples are now, you know, opening the doors to that.

P: Yep.

M: But I think novel experiences in the rest of your life, absolutely agree. That, to me, is psychological richness.

P: I agree. And they’re not always pleasant experiences either. It’s, it’s not always the, the fun and exciting stuff. Sometimes it’s the unpleasant, and it’s the difficult investigation that needs to actually come out.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And I’ve got an article that I’ve referenced here from someone who also references Oishi. Which is by Scott Barry Kaufman. Interestingly enough, Laura mentioned Scott in her email to us.

M: Yep.

P: Laugh.

M: Small world, laugh.

P: Yeah, yeah, it was always meant to happen, laugh. But yes, Kaufman talks about the psychologically rich life as being:

  • Deep Emotions,
  • Diverse,
  • Novel – as you said,
  • Surprising, and
  • Interesting Experiences.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Sometimes the experiences are pleasant. Sometimes they are meaningful, and sometimes they are neither pleasant nor meaningful.

M: I… Oh. So, when we went to India, that was transformative for me.

P: Yes.

M: It was the most run down, impoverished society I’d ever been in and trust me, I’ve been in. I’d lived, actually overseas, in a house that had no windows and no running water, so you know, I’d seen poverty. But the things I saw in India have stuck with me. I can still smell, smells of India.

P: Yeah, wow.

M: And I can still in a real tangible way, remember a lot of just horrible, horrible things. But I also still remember the, the polar opposite, the beautiful, beautiful countryside and the riches of that country. You know, the juxtaposition is just amazing. And for me, of all the countries that I’ve visited, that’s the one that stands out because it was it was novel the whole way through.

P: Mmm.

M: But some of it was not nice, laugh.

P: No.

M: No, laugh.

P: Yeah, but it’s still beneficial. It gives you an experience, it gives you a relative understanding, and this feeds into reframing, which we’ve talked about before. It’s a perspective. So, coming back to my original quote, a miserable being must find a more miserable being. It’s about understanding that there is always something that could be worse. And when you have that breadth of perspective than the fact that you can’t get a choc soy latte with no foam, it’s a little bit relative, laugh.

M: It does give you that relativity, right? It’s the juxtaposition of how horrible life was at some point that it helps you appreciate how good life actually is a lot of the time.

P: And that can turn things around. I find myself doing this a lot. Yeah, I’m an emotional, demonstrative person and –

M: – No?

P: Laugh! Don’t agree too quickly, Marie.

M & P: Laugh.

P: The point is, when you’re in the depths of despair and like, ‘Oh, my God, life is so hard’ all it takes is that relative understanding and going, ‘Oh, but I’ve got this. I’ve got that’ and it’s what you we’re saying, ‘I have a job, I have a house.’

M: Mmm hmm.

P: That’s enough and if I just focus on those things then maybe I could turn this around.

M: But it’s not turning it around, because you’re allowed your tantrum, you’re allowed to feel crappy.

P: Absolutely.

M: You know, things go wrong.

P: Who doesn’t love to put on their Princess tiara and go for it!

M: Me!

P: Laugh!  

M: Well, actually, Pete, you found me today with my vodka and my chocolate.

P: Laugh!

M: I’m having one of those days where I’ve allowed myself chocolate bickies. Dairy free of course.

P: You’re going to pay for that. You know you’re going to pay for that, the next 24 hours, laugh.

M: No, no, no, they’re dairy free, gluten free. …You know, people don’t need to know my eating [intolerances].

P: Laugh!

M: Anyway. Um, but you found me today with the chocolate biscuits and the vodka, laugh.

P: Oh, dear.

M: Right? Laugh. It was one of those days where I needed to. And we talked about different types of care and rest. This was a rest from having to be healthy and look after myself and do the right thing all the time.

P: Love it.

M: Look after myself.

P: I’ve had a day like that. As I said, I said to Marie this morning, I sat down this morning, I’ve got a week off of lectures this week, I was gonna do four hours of study. I lasted 45 minutes and then I went and played in the garden, laugh.

M: Perfect.

P: Yay.

M: I think that’s part of self-care and forgiving the fact that you didn’t do four hours of study and you only did 45 [min]. That will come back, you can’t avoid things forever, right?

P: No, it’s not about avoiding. No, very true, and you pick it back up again. But it is important to give yourself that slack. When you’re having those days, It’s okay, and that’s a novel experience.

M: Gardening instead of studying?

P: Sure.

M: There’s nothing novel about that for you, Pete.

P: Laugh. Come on, I was reaching, laugh.

M: All right, so let’s help people understand how they can have a psychologically rich life, according to Shigehiro.

P: Mmm.

M: So, the way that him and his team measure a person’s level of psychological richness or propensity towards novel experiences is by asking a whole lot of statements. So, what we’re going to do, Pete, is I’m going to read these statements out.

P: Ooh, fun! Audience participation!

M: Did you say the F word? You dropped the F bomb then.

P: No, I said audience participation and I shimmied my shoulders.

M: Oh, I’ve got no idea what I heard there…

P: Laugh!

M: Anyway, we are going to answer on a scale from one which means strongly disagree to seven which means strongly agree.

P: Okay. All right, I’m ready. I’m strapped in, laugh.

M: Okay. And what you do with your final score is up to you. So, this is just a bit of self-exploration for a Monday morning, which is when we launch or whenever you’re listening to this.

P: It’s Monday already! Oh, my Lord!

M: Laugh. [Quietly speaking] We release our episodes on Monday morning Pete, laugh.

P: I knew that, laugh.

M: You rock up every week and you’re like I don’t know what happens after this.

P: Laugh!

M: Somehow, stuff gets published, laugh.

P & M: Laugh.

P: La, la, la, la I’m fabulous.

P & M: Laughter!

M: Alright, let’s get through. So, I’ve picked eight statements for us to go through before we run out of time. So, the first one on a scale of 1 to 7. Do you strongly disagree [1] or strongly agree [7]?

I have had a lot of novel experiences.

P: I’m going to go a big old seven. I feel like I’ve… If I died tomorrow, I’d be really happy with the life that I’ve had thus far. I’ve had some amazing highs and big lows. I’ve had lots of different stuff going on. I’ve had lots of novel experiences and so, yeah, I’d be really happy with saying seven on that. I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to live the life that I’ve lived.

M: Aww, that warms my heart.

P: Well, you’re a big part of that Marie. Big love.

M: Oh, even better. All right, number two,

My life has been full of unique, unusual experiences.

P: Mmm. I’d probably say another strong, a strong seven. Um, unique? definitely. It’s always relative when you talk to people.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And I can say, ‘Oh, I’ve done this, this and this and people go, ‘Oh, my goodness. You’ve lived a really full life.’

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And you go, ‘Oh, have I? It’s just It’s just what I’ve done.’

M: Ha, ha, ha. Yep!

P: Doesn’t everybody do this?

M: I been stumbling through and that’s where my life took me so I went.

P: Yes, I was kicked out of France and held in a holding cell with French policemen. And that was fine.

M: Laugh. They were cute, so it was okay.

P: They were fabulous, all they wanted to talk about was rugby.

M: Ha, lovely. And they probably would have been nice, I’m sure because they won the world cup.

P: Yeah.

M: That was a while ago.

P: Yeah, yeah. Laugh.

M: Okay. Moving onto number three.

My life consists of rich, intense moments.

P: 6 to 7. Rich and intense. That’s an interesting use of phrases I would say intense, definitely. I think I almost encourage intense experiences. And that comes from having…

M: Do you?

P: Sorry?

M: Mmm, no. Keep going.

P: I’d say.

M: No, you finished.

P: Intense experiences. I would say that I’m the person that runs headlong into a storm.

M: Mmm.

P: I’m like, ‘All right, if it’s coming at me, I’m not going to run away from it, I’m gonna go ‘Right, come at me, here we go.’

M: I hate conflict, but in general yes.

P: Yeah.

M: I feel like my life is kind of like a bell curve. It’s either I’m hiding away and writing for hours on end with no like –

P: Yes.

M: Everyone leave me alone and I want to read a book. And I want to lead the most grandma-ish of lives. I just need to pick up knitting and I’ll be right.

P: Laugh. I can’t see you knitting.

M: It takes too much patience for knitting. And then on the other side, it is I don’t know the word no, I’m all in and I’m in 150 million bajillion percent, laugh!

P: Yeah, yep.

M: There is no in between for me.

P: That’s richness.

M: Yeah.

P: You’re probably a rich thrill seeker.

M: Absolutely. Yeah.

P: Yeah.

M: Give me a theme park.

P: Yep, you’re in for the ride.

M: Yeah.

P: Laugh.

M: All right, number four.

I experience a full range of emotions via firsthand experiences such as travel and attending concerts.

P: Big old yes. Hard yes.

M: That’s a yes for me too. Well, pre covid.

P: Obviously. But even, even within covid, there’s, there’s I think that yeah, there are.

M: You compromise.

P: There are ways of accessing, you go seeking it. You go looking for it.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: It’s like I need I need that rush. I need I need something exciting so, whether it will be, you know, having a naked bath on the front of the balcony where everyone can see you or something like that, I don’t know. I’m thinking of a friend of ours.

M: [Whispers] Remember we’re PG?

P: I know, but it’s so much fun!

M: Ok, moving on.

P: I love you, Felix. Laugh!

M: I have a lot of personal stories to tell others.

M: See, I don’t think I’m the best storyteller, but I do have a lot of stories, I’d say.

P: I’m mid-range on this one. Yeah, yeah, that’s a hard one because that’s again that’s being vulnerable.

M: And open and you don’t generally tend to go ‘blah, here’s my everything.’ Like it’s taken me a while to get to know you and hear your stories, but I would say you do have a lot of them.

P: Interesting. Okay, I would never make that judgement. I would let my friends make that judgement to be honest.

M: I’ve never had troubles with you, not talking. Laugh.

P: That’s because it’s you Muz. Laugh. Well, yeah, well, me and shy don’t necessarily go together.

M: Laugh, mmm.

P: Although I can be. I do say to people sometimes I’m naturally very shy, really, I am.

M: [Snort] Laugh.

P: Laugh!

M: All right. Let’s get through these last two so our lovely listeners can go off on their days. Okay, they get a bit morbid here.

P: Oh, my Lord!

M: On my deathbed, I’m likely to say, “I had an interesting life.”

P: I think I’ve already answered that one. I answered that one in question one.

M: Yeah, you did.

P: Moving on.

M: And the last one is,

On my deathbed, I am likely to say, “I have seen and learned a lot.”

P: Hard yes.

M: For me, yes. But I do want to say that I hit a period in my life and career after studying, going overseas and, you know, um, playing volleyball around the world and all of that where I hit my career and I settled. And I, for some reason, thought that was when, you know, like, things should calm down and you have your four weeks of holiday and a lot of people get into that trap.

P: Mmm.

M: You know, I was climbing the corporate ladder, saving to buy a house. That kind of stuff and life didn’t… wasn’t psychologically rich. I kind of stopped doing a lot of that stuff for a while, and I burned out. I was too focused on work.

P: That’s a really interesting point to kind of bring to a conclusion with the episode is that if you feel like you’re not having a psychologically rich life, is that a point to turn around and go, ‘Maybe something’s not right here? Or maybe, maybe I need to reframe. Maybe I need to relook at this?’

M: Or make some plans. That’s, I mean that’s really all this comes down to.

P: Mmm.

M: What unique, intense, novel experiences that are interesting or can teach you things or show you new things can you put into your next month and your next year that you can look forward to and plan for?

P: I think that’s our weekly challenge to our listeners.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: We want rich, intense, novel… What was the fourth one?

M: Laugh, it doesn’t need to be all of them. One is fine.

P: Oh, come on!

M: Me and my eternal optimism just booked a cruise next year in Europe.

P: Oh! Wow! You’re brave.

M: We will see if I actually get to do that.

P: I just want to go to the mountains! Laugh.

M: But I’m all in!

P: So, that’s our homework people. To find something that can bring psychological richness into your month. It doesn’t have to be huge, remember that it can be something small, but I think I think that’s a really good focus for a monthly task to find something psychologically stimulating and rich, novel, intense.

M: Yep.

P: Open arms into the tidal wave, here we go.

M: And on that note, we’ll see you next week.

P: Have a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background] 

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic. 

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out. 

M: Until next time. 

M & P: Choose happiness.  

[Exit music fadeout] 

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