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Words That Can Change Your Mindset

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How to Find Determination by Simply Changing Your Vocabulary

Words can change your mindset because words have power. We’ve known this for centuries, and we’ve all seen the stories and heard the advice which pretty much boils down to: “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Or “No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” (Robin Williams)

We also all know we should eat well, exercise, get 8 hours of sleep, look after our mental health, call our mums…. We know that we should, but sometimes life happens, right?!

On the other hand, sometimes a Netflix binge happens, all weekend. Sometimes we spend an entire evening scrolling mindlessly through social media, or playing game after game on the computer, or X-box or PlayStation.

And again, it’s important sometimes to do that in order to unwind and recentre. At the end of a long and stressful day, sometimes doing nothing is what your body and mind needs.

The problem is when that becomes your normal. When every evening and most weekends are spent on activities that take you away from the activities and people who can enrich your life and bring you joy and happiness.

And like the frog in a pot of water, we might not realise it’s slowly killing us. At worst, we see the typical 21st century mental and physical impacts: diabetes, obesity, heart conditions, depression, anxiety. At best, we live a ho-hum life, maybe we’re successful but we’re never truly happy.

Cultivating the Right Mindset for Success

The field of psychology has long known that your mindset can have huge impacts on your actions and your success.

Stanford psychologist and Professor Carol Dweck has spent 30-years studying how mindset impacts our success. In her own words, “My work bridges developmental psychology, social psychology, and personality psychology, and examines the self-conceptions (or mindsets) people use to structure the self and guide their behaviour.”

Carol has found that mindset is critical, and most reassuringly, you can change your mindset – it is not fixed. In fact, people who cultivate a “growth mindset” are the ones who view failure as a motivator to try harder. As a result, they’re more resilient and more successful.

Mindset is how you stop yourself from feeling like a failure or feeling guilty next time you don’t go to the gym or choose a salad at lunchtime. It’s how you forgive yourself, move forward and start again with more determination tomorrow.

And what impacts mindset the most? Our emotions and the words we choose to use.

“The way we deal with our emotions shapes everything that matters: our actions, careers, relationships, health, happiness and organizations. Getting hooked by our thoughts, emotions and stories inhibits us from thriving,” says Susan David, Harvard psychologist and author of Emotional Agility.

Thankfully, learning to have a positive mindset can be as simple as being more deliberate about the words you choose to use in your day to day life. In short, words can change your mindset. In fact, researchers Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman have shown that words can literally change your brain.

As if the title of their book wasn’t enough, in their book, Words Can Change Your Brain, they show that words like “peace” and “love” can alter the expression of genes, propelling our motivational centres into action and building resilience.

So, if you’re struggling to do the things you know will bring you more happiness, then this is the article for you. Here are some words that can change your mindset…

[Check out these books – mindset, Carol Dweck & Emotional Agility Susan David, & Words Can Change Your Brain]

Words That can Change Your Mindset

“Get to” and Your Worldview

Many people seek happiness, yet their day to day view of the world is as a chore to be bourne, not a wonder to be explored and experienced.

How often do we say we “get to” go on a holiday, but we “have to” go to the gym? Or maybe you “get to” visit a friend but “have to” go visit the in-laws. Or maybe you “get to” go out to dinner but “have to” eat healthily.

At what point did doing the right thing for us and our family become something we just have to grit our teeth and bare? Why does being good to ourselves – by doing exercise, getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, visiting family etc… — get relegated to the “have to” pile along with the laundry and dishes?

No wonder so many people struggle to get fit or bother to even leave the house! No wonder as a global population, we’re more unhealthy and more lonely than ever before.

So, if you’re seeking happiness and satisfaction in life, and you know (because of the resources on this site) that means developing a strong community and connection; looking after your health and wellbeing and finding meaning and purpose, then why should any of those activities be chores?

Next time you start to apologise to someone for “having to go to the gym,” stop and think about the words you’re using. Instead, put a smile on your face and say, “I get to go to the gym this afternoon, maybe we can meet afterwards?”

“Not yet” and Growth Mindset

In her Ted Talk, which has been viewed more than 10 million times, Carol talks about the power of two small words to change the way we think about failure.

Not yet.

That’s it. Two little words. Yet these words have the power to completely change how we view ourselves and our achievements, or lack of them. To make her point, Carol talks about a classroom of kids and the grading system that used “not yet” rather than the typical “F” for when a kid didn’t pass a course.

Through the power of these two little words, the kids in this class were taught to know they’re on a journey of learning, and that everyone learns at different rates. They know that if they get “not yet” on their report card, they shouldn’t give up or stop trying. Instead, they have more work to do, and that’s OK.

Those two little words entirely change the kids’ mindsets, from wanting to quit and give up for “failing” to wanting to try harder next time because they don’t have it yet.

In short, ‘not yet’ is about acknowledging that life and learning are a journey, and it’s not only about achievement. So, focus on the journey of learning, rather than the outcome. When praising kids, trying hard should be rewarded over achieving an “A.”  

Listen to Carol Dweck’s Ted Talk “The Power of Believing You Can Improve”

Lots of Words… Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations have been popular for the last couple of decades. Supposedly, a few magic words will help you lose weight, get fit, get promoted, find a loving partner… and the list goes on. But if you’re a cynic (like me), then maybe you’ve been thinking ‘this is all a load of BS.’

It turns out we were all wrong. Words can change your mindset. The reason this has become a ‘thing’ is that the science is solid. About 65,000 thoughts go through our minds each day. For a lot of people, the majority of them are negative, or at least not positive.

Now, negative thoughts are the cornerstone of improvement. If you’re happy with your performance you won’t try to make it better. But too much negativity can stop you from even trying.

So, including some positive affirmations into your day is about balancing the scales. It’s about being more attuned to the negative things you say to yourself and the limiting beliefs you hold. Instead adding in some words that instil hope and belief into your mindset. To get started, check out this article by 7 Mindsets.

We know that the wrong mindset can get in your way of success, but how much are you paying attention to the words you say or use in your mental dialogue? Maybe it is time to do some self-reflection.

And on that note, I’ll leave you with another famous quote: “Choose your words wisely.”

Related reading:

9 Small Ways To Add Exercise Into Your Day Without Exercising

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The health benefits of regular exercise are numerous, from boosting your immune system, improving sleep and boosting your mood, to reducing cardio-vascular diseases and even reducing the effects of ageing!

Yet, in today’s busy world, it can be hard to find the time to exercise. Sometimes we have good intentions, but with competing priorities, exercise just keeps getting cut, week after week.

Going to the gym or playing sports means finding time in a busy schedule to get changed, get there and back, take another shower and change again. Who has all that extra time in a day?!

Plus, for many people, it’s all just a bit daunting and not easy to get started. To be honest, a lot of people just don’t really like exercising in the first place.

“Don’t worry. Burpees don’t like you either.”

So, how can you reap the benefits of exercise without adding more stress to your week? In short, how can you exercise without exercising?

Here are 9 ways to add more exercise into your day without exercising

  1. Get off one stop before your train/bus stop and walk a little bit further.
  2. Park at the back of the car park when you go shopping.
  3. Take the stairs at work, or in your apartment (or friend’s apartment).
  4. If you sit at a desk for most of the day, try standing for all your meetings.
  5. Walk to your local shops instead of driving and carry the groceries back.
  6. Help others. Why not volunteer somewhere that you might have to stand a lot, such as a local pound or Salvation Army retail store.
  7. Offer to walk and play with your friends’ dogs for them. Take them to the park, throw a ball and have some fun.
  8. Go out for lunch. Walk to your favourite café or food court. Even better if you put on comfy shoes and power walk!
  9. Make it a point to vacuum, sweep or mop more often.

Remember that every minute of intentional movement adds up!

Related content: Read Moving On article The ‘No Excuses’ Beginners Exercise Plan

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Why You Need to Stop Skipping Your Lunch Break (E24)

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Happiness for Cynics Podcast

Many studies have shown that prolonged sitting is the new smoking. Yet despite it being really bad for our health, so many of us don’t take lunch breaks! Join us as we discuss the importance of taking a lunch break, and how to give your brain a rest, get some sun and exercise and eat more mindfully.

Transcript

M: You’re listening to the podcast happiness for cynics. I’m Marie Skelton, a writer and speaker focused on change and resilience.

P: And I’m Peter Furness, a poster hanger, towel folder and furniture re-arranger each week will bring to you the latest news and research in the field of positive psychology, otherwise known as happiness.

M: You can find us at marieskelton.com, which is a site about how to find balance, happiness and resilience in your life. We talk about a lot of same research we cover here on the podcast, including some really practical tips for bringing joy and happiness into your life.

P: So on today’s episode, which is all about:

M: Taking a lunch break.

[Happy Intro Music]

M: So Pete. We need to take a lunch break.

P: Oh, I’m bad at this.

M: I’m really bad at it too. Well, no, I swing, I swing. I have no what’s the word I’m looking for? Discipline.

P: I don’t believe that for a second. [Laugh]

M: No, I really have no discipline. I could be really good at this I’m a lunch break taker.

P: Hi, my name’s Marie Skelton lunch break taker.

M: I haven’t had a lunch break for seven years.

P: [Laugh] Yay Marie! Can I get a t-shirt?

M: [Laugh]

So, according to NPR [National Public Radio], the majority of Americans don’t take their lunch breaks.

And you’ve got an Australian stat too, don’t you?

P: Yes, I do.

A lot of Australians don’t take them, either.

Almost one in three [Australians], 28% of people habitually eating at their desk and 33% of people are skipping lunch entirely more than once a week.

M: I’ve definitely been there and actually since I’ve started working from home. So since Covid and self-isolation, I’ve become really bad, really, really bad at it.

P: See, I find that interesting because at home I naturally want to hang out in the kitchen. It’s my happy place, so I I’m very good at getting my..

M: I’m the exact opposite, I’m like I have to go to the kitchen, if I don’t cook my husband’s going to divorce me. It’s been too long.

[Laughter]

P: I’m strange, I use cooking to relax me. So the kitchen’s a happy place for me. But yeah, I often will if I am staying home, I’ll often get up go for a cup of tea, get up have lunch, make some lunch or microwave something.

M: Yeah so I’ll look at the clock and it’ll be two o’clock and I’ll be like crap and I’ll go grab something. I’ve been a lot better, actually diet wise lately, so I’m having salads and doing a good job eating well, but I will bring it back to my desk and eat it while I juggle phone calls and everything.

P: I’m guilty of that as well, being a small business owner and working on a client based schedule, so I’m terrible at keeping my clients to a count and I always go overtime with them. I found that I actually for many years didn’t have a lunch break at all. Then I started allocating a lunch break that was 15 minutes.

M: [Laugh]

P: Woah, go Petie! [Laugh]

I’ve recently increased that to 45[minutes], which is much better because there’s 10 minutes at the beginning of that and there’s five minutes at the end where you’re kind of preparing for the next client or the next client turns up early. So you know, you do get chipped away a little bit, so it probably ends up being about 20/25 minutes. But it is really, really important to schedule it in and what we’re probably going to come to in terms of diet and so forth is making sure that you’re prepared so that you can make maximize that time. So I always bring my lunch in from home, that I’ve cooked and it’s in the microwave on the way before I’ve even said goodbye to the last client.

M: Yeah, I found that I ate a lot more healthily when I brought my own food in definitely, but it encouraged me in the office to then eat it at my desk. Yeah, so going out for lunch made me have to leave the office, and while I was out, I might pop past a shop and have a look or pick something up or just go sit in the park to eat it. And I have to say the times where I have felt the happiest and the most satisfied with life are the times where I’ve had a really good balance at work between motivating, challenging work but enough time to take a lunch break.

P: And it’s really important for your work productivity as well.

M: Yep, absolutely. So there’s three things that not taking a lunch break impacts on:

  • Firstly, your physical health. For a number of years now, people have been saying prolonged sitting is the new smoking.

P: I’m doing this every day.

M: It’s really bad for your physical health.

  • Secondly, your brain needs rest.

P: Absolutely.

M: Particularly for white collar type work. If you’re writing and thinking for a lot of what you do, 9 to 5, you need to give it a little bit of time to rest.

  • And then the third thing is you’ll eat more mindfully if you get away from that activity that you’re doing and sit and enjoy your lunch.

P: Yes.

M: And so if you’re struggling with weight or weight loss. Eating mindfully is one of the biggest new trends in weight loss. It’s not about what you eat. It’s about more mindful about how you eat is the latest thing there. So definitely taking a lunch break can have a huge impact on your weight loss journey.

P: I want to pick you up on that second point as well Marie, in terms of the productivity and having the break. There is a lot of science that supports the fact that we need to stimulate our brains in different ways to allow different pathways to be accessed and allow different synapses to open up. So frontal lobe, parietal lobe, accessing the different lobes makes for a healthy brain. And if you are obsessed over a problem or an issue and you’re focused and you’re inside that issue for over an hour, I can’t quote the study because I didn’t have time to look this up. I know this is true, so you’ve just got to blind faith here.

[Laughing]

P: Walking away from the problem and then coming back, allows you to reset.

M: Yep.

P: It allows new ideas to drop in and allows you to come back and perhaps look at the issue in a different way, which results in a better, it brings about a better result.

M: Also what we were all told, when we’re studying for exams at school, come back to it. Yes, because the more you focus on something the less likely you are to solve it. But the other thing is, we have natural body rhythms and –

P: – Circadian rhythms.

M: Yes, that’s day and night time sleep. We’ve also got a 90 minute blocks of time that your body goes through during the day. Right? So again, there’s so many different studies and different research about whether your body clock or your brain in their own different times at times can function. Some people say, for only as much as 20 minutes at a time. If you’re fully focused. So again it depends who you look at, whose study.

P: Yep

M: And again the other side is, they say take a break. Now what does that mean? So some studies have definitely shown that just a few minutes is enough to help you reset and go again. But taking as little as 20 minutes in one study has been shown to increase your productivity for the entire day. So if you can’t do anything else, take a 20 minute lunch break.

P: Yep. And the idea of having 20 minutes is, it’s long enough to actually allow yourself to be distracted and to re-energise and to be distracted by something else. And getting up and physically getting away from the desk is really important there, because walking around is going to stimulate a whole heap of body things that go on that create chemical reactions and allow your brain to focus. But it’s allowing your physicality to override what’s going on in the brain. And it wakes everything up gets things stimulated and moving.

M: I think it also resets you. So as someone who’s been through burnout at work through a particularly busy period in Corporate Australia. So I was working for a large corporate we we’re going through a royal commission I was working in public affairs.

P: He he.. [Laugh]

M: Things were shit.

[Laughter]

M: Right? And I just felt like I didn’t want to go take lunch because I didn’t want to be there for another 30 minutes at the end of the day. It just meant, I wouldn’t get through everything, and I’d be there until eight o’clock, not seven thirty or whatever it was. So the logic made sense and I was still just slugging through stuff that I needed to get through. But what that lunch break does is it stops that day to day build of stress, the cortisol levels that build over time. It’s a circuit breaker, and it takes you back to zero again. So the irony of that burnout period is that I knew I needed to exercise, but I stopped exercising. I knew I needed to eat well because it was going to be a very stressful year… or three.

[Laughter]

M: And I started taking getting take out. I didn’t have time to prep my meals. I knew I needed to just get out and get some sun even.

P: Yes.

M: Get outside and to take that mental break. And I just felt that I couldn’t and lo and behold, burnout.

P: Funny that.

[Laughter]

M: We know it and I think that’s the trick, really is actually finding a way to dig yourself out of that hole when you know you’re in it.

P: And that’s where the physical thing can come out, getting yourself…

M: But even 20 minutes, and you can combine them all. Get outside, eat a salad or some protein and vegetables. Eat something healthy-ish.

P: Eat something you’ve cooked yourself. It’s as simple as that.

M: If you’ve got time or find time. Or buy it, I mean there’s plenty of options in most big cities or food courts. You can find healthy food and then walk for the rest of the lunchtime. Get out in the sun or through the mall if it’s raining and walk.

P: I’ve actually found that I do that myself. If now that I have my prolonged lunch break [laugh], I actually go. Oh, I’ve had my lunch, I’ve not done anything, I’ll go around the block and it is just a simple walk around the block, and it’s just to get out, get a different stimulus, get outside even though it’s in CBD and it might be a bit smoggy and so forth. It’s still, it’s still better than staying in those four walls because you feel like you’ve had a change and then you can come back for the afternoon session and go hard again.

M: And just getting your muscles moving.

P: Mmm really important.

M: Absolutely so they say sitting is the new smoking. So it is definitely proven to not be as bad a smoking. But just like everyone jumped on the idea that smoking was bad and we saw all those horrible ads come out. Australia’s really bad for shock ads. I’m surprised we haven’t seen sitting shock ads. What do you make of that?

P: I don’t know. It’s probably not dramatic enough.

M: [Laugh] A whole bunch of people just sitting around, “oh the horror!”

P: “Oh the humanity!”

M: The diseases and illnesses that are tied to long term sitting include cancer, heart disease and type two diabetes. And the research shows that the effects of long term sitting are not reversible through exercise or other good habits.

P: That’s a very interesting one.

M: Can’t take these [away].

P: You can’t get it back.

M: And It’s also going to take time off the end of your life. So morbidity rates with not being able to move, comes back to that lovely little test you can do about getting sitting cross legged on the floor.

M: Yes, this is a good one.

P: And getting up without using your hands.

M: Yes, so if anyone hasn’t seen this, they give this test to people in their sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties, and they ask you to sit down on the floor with your legs crossed. And then if you can kind of rock forward onto your feet and get your body up into a standing position without putting your hands down, then you’ve got the core strength and flexibility that you should be able to live far longer into the future.

P: And have a better quality of life in your senior years and because it’s the ability to be able to get yourself up that has complete links with morbidity, with heart disease with diabetes and it also [is good] in terms of range of motion and being able to look after yourself in case you fall.

M: Well it actually shows that you are less likely to fall because you’ve got the body strength.

P: Exactly.

M: And once someone who’s elderly falls and starts losing their balance, then it’s a very quick decline from that point forward. Generally.

P: Yes

M: The other thing that adds onto that is the injuries that come with the fall. The broken hips or legs etc. Also not good.

P: Yeah

M: Anyway this is a complete sidebar.

So taking lunch breaks.

P: [Laugh]

M: Maybe we can all sit down and practise standing up…

[Laughter]

P: with your lunch!

[Laughter]

M: So what are some good things to do, even if you only have 20 minutes, we’ve talked about a few of them already. So if you’re going to take a lunch break, you’re busy, you’re stressed. How do you maximise that 20 minutes that you make time for, if you can only make time for 10 minutes. What do you do?

P: Prepare. You’ve got to be prepared.

M: That takes more time Pete.

P: No, what I’m saying is that if you know you’ve got 20 minutes for a lunch break. Then you need to pre-prepare your meals. You need to have that installed so that you don’t waste 15 minutes wandering around the food court going, ‘Oh do I have curry? Or do I have sushi? Do I have curry? Do I have sushi?

M: Well, see my mind would say prepare before I leave the office to go get sushi.

P: Well that works. That’s still preparing.

M: Straight downstairs, get something that’s not deep fried.

P: You know what you’re going to have. You know what you’re going to have and you’re setting up and you have a goal in place. So you’re not going to be distracted by the deep fried southern chicken burger which may have come to $10.50 from Betty’s burgers today.

[Laughter]

M: Oh I love Betty’s Burgers.

Which is still okay, in moderation.

P: Absolutely.

M: Alright. So you’re saying prepare. I’m saying get outside and mindfulness. So once you’re outside, if you are struggling to find 20 minutes a day to go and have a lunch break and you need to maximize the time that you spend then:

  1. Make sure that you refuel, obviously, and the healthier the better, as we all know. But refueling is refueling.
  2. Secondly, get some sun if you can.
  3. Thirdly, while you’re out, take a moment to look at nature. So wherever you are it’s about stopping and smelling the roses or at least noticing them.

P: Yes

M: And that is a really good reset for your brain. So this is that mental reset. If you go out and you rush from shop to shop and you have to pick up milk for breakfast tomorrow and you get your food and you make it back. And oof, you’re out of breath and it’s been 20 minutes. There’s some definite positive benefits from a physical and recharge perspective, but not necessarily from a mental health perspective.

P: Okay.

M: So if you’ve just rushed through your lunch break and it’s just another tick box activity for you that you had to get done and that you had to make sure happened in your day. You’re not resting your brain. If it’s a stress to get it done. So just taking those moments to enjoy the sun on your face or to stop and smell or notice the roses or even the grass.

P: It’s funny when I’m like working in the CBD. I often find myself searching for green space because there’s, where I am, which is down towards King Street Warf, it’s actually a bit of a walk to get to Hyde Park and that’s really the only green space in that corner of the CBD. There’s blue space, which is down by Cockle bay, which is fine, but to be actually able to sit and have your lunch in a green area. It’s actually not that easy in the CBD of Sydney.

M: And to get sun at the same time, you’re in shade most of the time.

P: Yeah.

M: Absolutely, if you’re in the middle, it’s a decent hike.

P: It’s where roof gardens would be really advantageous.

M: Yeah, we don’t do roof gardens in Australia.

P: We don’t make enough. I don’t think we do to take enough advantage of our rooves in Sydney. I think that we’re falling short on that one a little bit. Maybe another episode, [Laugh].

But I do want to clock one thing about exercising in your lunch break.

M: Yes

P: Now I was shocked by this one. According to my stats, only 7% of us use the lunch break to exercise, which I really didn’t think I thought would be a lot higher in Australia.

M: Hold on look, it takes women, and men, but mainly women 30 minutes to get ready in the morning, at least often an hour, depending on what your hair rituals are. If you’ve showered and washed your hair, which you have to do after you sweat. Okay before you go, especially corporate. Before you go back into an office, it’s let me just say it’s rude if you don’t. Let me just put that out there. If you do now shower after you exercise and you come back in the office. Don’t come near me. It is not something that everyone wants to smell in their two o’clock meeting.

P: [Laugh], no definitely not.

M: So I fully understand why people wouldn’t exercise at lunch because you just don’t have time to turn it around. You’ve got to get there and back. You’ve got to do the exercise, whatever it is and you’ve got, if you’re doing something that makes you sweaty; if you’re going to go do a nice stretching class.

P: You can still sweat.

M: A nice, light stretching class. Then maybe you could make that work without the shower and all the prep to get back into your corporate attire that goes afterwards.

P: I still, I was a lunchtime exerciser. I would duck down in between 11 and 12:30-

M: -That’s an hour and a half.

P: So 90 minutes and it didn’t always happen, but yeah again it was about planning that in. So that was a Tuesday and Thursday thing, and I knew that Tuesdays and Thursdays I took 90 minutes, again scheduling and preparing and that was my days exercise. Where I did go down and do some exercise in that time and then come back so that I was ready and prepped to go again in the afternoon.

M: I think that’s lunch break Nirvana to be able to do that.

P: [Laugh]

M: But then you’ve also got to find time to eat as well, and that’s the potential downside to putting exercise in.

P: And that’s what I wasn’t doing as well. In that I was grabbing food on the fly and shoving it in and half eating lunch and then waiting for the next client and half eating it after that. Yeah, maybe I wasn’t quite clocking that in the right way, but it felt like I was.

M: Well look I think it never hurts to get some exercise in at lunchtime. To get some exercise in, in general.

P: Well, again, it helps your mental energy as well.

M: Yes. Oh, so good for your happiness levels in general. All right, well, I think that’s about it for today.

P: Done.

M: Thank you for joining us. If you do want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast.

P: Stay happy, people.

Related content: Listen to our Podcast: Wellbeing and Your Environment (E21)

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Want To Raise Successful Kids? Here’s What You Have To Know.

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Why We Need To Teach Kids About Happiness, Not Achievement

Everyone wants their kids to grow up and be successful in life. If you grew up in my generation, that meant our parents valued academic achievement at any cost.

The story goes that good grades will get you into a good university, which will get you into a good job at a good company, where you will meet other good people and marry one of them, eventually having a good house, good car and good kids. Then you will be happy. The moral of the story is ‘work hard and you will be rewarded.’

Many mid-life crises have proven that this model is broken. Yet it hasn’t been until recently that we’ve had another model to replace it with. It turns out that kids need happiness to succeed in life, and our focus on academic success has actually been taking us away from success in life!

Thanks to the field of positive psychology, we now know that the key to success in life is happiness. Research shows that people who are often in positive moods and have happy emotions do better in life. They get better grades at school; they get better jobs; they are more resilient; they are more successful and they are even richer.

Why? As cognitive scientist Dr. Art Markman says, “Overall, when people are happy, they put in more effort to create a better future for themselves than when they are not happy.”

So, if you want your kids to be successful in life, first you have to teach your kids to be happy. Just like with adults, this means teaching kids to enjoy the process, to be curious, hopeful and optimistic. Here are some great activities you can do with your kids to help build these life skills.

6 Ideas To Teach Your Kids How To Be Happy

1. Go outside

The research on this one is really clear, spending time outside makes people happier, so teach your kids to be happy by loving the outdoors. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, you can make family walks a habit during the week, take your kids to the park, walk the dog or go on a picnic, visit a lake or beach or a national park. Create a list of places and activities you can do as a family and let each member of the family choose an outing.  

2. Teach your kids a skill

This is especially good if it’s something that you are passionate about too. Teach them how to cook, garden, draw, sculpt or even change a tyre. Make sure you listen as much as you talk, ask questions about your kid’s thinking, ask them how they would do things. This is about learning to enjoy learning, about teaching your kids to have a growth mindset, which research shows impacts how you see the world and makes you more likely to thrive in life. So remember it’s not about actually mastering the skill (the end goal), instead focus on the process (the journey).

3. Create a photo album.

Together with the whole family, get out and about to take some photos together. Create an album of your favourite people, things and places. Make sure each family member has plenty of pages to contribute their photos. Place one photo per page and write under the photo why this photo is important to the family member who picked it. Watch this Greater Good Science Center video to see how this activity can create meaning and happiness in your kid’s lives.

4. Plan a family holiday together

Research shows that planning a holiday can bring just as much joy as going on holidays. Get a map. Lay out the ground rules (budget, time away etc…) and pick a place that you can all visit together. Once the location is sorted, each family member should go away and identify one activity they’d like to do while away, and has to present back to the family in one-weeks’ time their activity, what it is and why they think it is a good idea. Bonus points for creativity and resourcefulness!

5. Find or create moments of awe in your life

Studies show that experiencing moments of awe makes us more generous and patient, and helps you deal with stress better. According to the Collins dictionary, “Awe is the feeling of respect and amazement that you have when you are faced with something wonderful and often rather frightening.” It’s a thrill or a moment of wonder. It’s rare and special, and because of that, it is imprinted in your memory forever. Some people find awe and wonder regularly, in the small and big things around them, while others only experience awe occasionally. It is different for every person. Here are some ideas for activities to bring awe into your life.

6. Volunteer together

Research has shown that volunteering is rewarding in and of itself, and helping others is a way to higher individual wellbeing. Giving to others activates an area of the brain linked with contentment and the reward cycle. So, performing selfless acts makes you happier. You could volunteer at a soup kitchen or teach your kids how to fundraise for a worthy cause, whether that’s making something to sell to the neighbours (bracelets or lemonade) or doing a charity fundraising walk together.

Related content: Read Moving On article 5 ways to teach kids resiliency and happiness

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10 Best Personal Development Podcasts To Motivate And Inspire You

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We’ve done the work to find the best personal development podcasts to help you bring more happiness and inspiration into your life.

Have you ever wondered why some people are happier than others? Or why some people seem to succeed at everything they try? Or how some people find the motivation to be constantly achieving their dreams?

It turns out you’re not alone, as the millions of listeners to the below podcasts can attest. If you need a bit of motivation, inspiration or happiness in your life, subscribe to the below 10 best personal development podcasts to motivate and inspire you.

10 Best Personal Development Podcasts to Motivate and Inspire You

#1 Happier

Happier is hosted by happiness and habits expert Gretchen Rubin and her sister Elizabeth Craft. With more than 95 million downloads, they’re definitely doing something right. In each episode, they share happiness hacks and advice that can easily be incorporated in your life. Gretchen shares a lot of the tips she’s learned over the years. She has also written about them in her bestselling books The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies.

#2 Good Life Project

Good Life Project, hosted by Jonathan Fields, is about helping you to live a better life (as the name suggests). Every week, he shares inspirational, intimate and unfiltered conversations aimed at helping you on your quest to live a more meaningful, connected and vital life.

#3 Happiness for Cynics

Happiness for Cynics, hosted by best friends Marie and Pete, who have a lot of laughs as they present the latest research and case studies on happiness, with a heavy dose of cynicism. Marie (the cynic) and the always happy Pete are a lot of fun to listen to and really make you think about practical and research-backed ways you can lead a happier life.

#4 Design Your Dream Life

Design Your Dream Life, hosted by personal development blogger and life coach, Natalie Bacon. The podcast is for women who want to reignite their lives, who want more fulfilment, more money, and more freedom. Natalie shares lessons on how to master your mindset, emotions, self-love, relationships, problems, overwhelm. She also focuses on productivity, time management, goal setting and habits.

#5 The Life Coach School Podcast

The Life Coach School Podcast, hosted by Brooke Castillo, owner of the Life Coach School, where she trains and certifies life coaches. Her podcast focuses on learning to manage your brain and solve any problem in your life. It’s about helping you use your mind to make your dreams come true.

#6 Ten Percent Happier

10% Happier, hosted by ABC News Anchor Dan Harris, who famously has a panic attack on live TV while hosting Good Morning America. On 10% Happier, Dan interviews celebrities and academics on meditation and life. He looks for an answer to the question: Can you be an ambitious person and still strive for enlightenment?

#7 Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins is without a doubt one of the biggest names in personal development. His motivational podcast is a hub where he shares all of that amazing knowledge. In his podcast, Tony shares proven strategies and tactics for achieving massive results in your business, relationships, health, and finances. Tony has reached more than 50 million people from over 100 countries to create meaningful change in their lives.

#8 The School of Greatness

The School of Greatness is a wonderful podcast from the best-selling author and entrepreneur Lewis Howes. Since its launch in 2013, the podcast has grown to be one of the top-ranked business and self-development podcasts in iTunes. It regularly appears in the Top 50 and with more than 4 million downloads a month. Episodes range from interviews with incredible world-class game changers in entrepreneurship, health, athletics, mindset, and relationships, to solo rounds with the host, Lewis Howes and the 5 Minute Friday format.

#9 The Science of Happiness

The Science of Happiness, hosted by award-winning psychologist Dacher Keltner and co-produced by PRX and UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. They look at what it takes to live a happier life and give listeners research-tested strategies that you can put into practice today.

#10 The Tim Ferris Show

The Tim Ferriss Show is often the #1 business podcast on all of Apple Podcasts. It has ranked #1 out of 500,000+ podcasts on many occasions and has now surpassed 400M downloads. In each episode, Tim deconstructs world-class performers from eclectic areas (investing, sports, business, art, etc.) to extract the tactics, tools, and routines you can use. This includes favourite books, morning routines, exercise habits, time-management tricks, and more.

Got a favourite podcast we didn’t include? Tell us about it in the comments!

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What You Didn’t Know About Practicing Kindness

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What Is Practicing Kindness and Why Does It Matter?

Be kind… it’s something many of us have been told since we were little.

But did you know that being kind to others can have positive impacts on your life too? Not only that, there’s solid research behind the act of being kind. Here’s what you need to know.

What is Practicing Kindness?

Practicing kindness is about deliberately or intentionally finding moments or opportunities to be kind to others in your life.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

Amelia Earhart

But to be clear, being kind isn’t about always thinking of others over yourself, and it’s not about striving to be always kind. We’re all human, which means we all have bad days, and we all have negative emotions at times – being unkind will also happen. So, practising kindness isn’t about striving to be kind all the time, but it is about finding times to be kind to others.

The best part is that practising kindness actually improves your psychological health too, so you might even reduce your bad days or moments by doing it, and it’s as easy as scheduling it into your week.

The Science of Kindness

The research on kindness is quite definitive. The benefits that you get from being kind others are many and varied.

Performing acts of kindness releases the feel-good chemicals (oxytocin and serotonin), leading to increases happiness, energy, pleasure and creativity. Studies have even shown that being kind increases your lifespan.

At Oxford, researchers performed three studies and found that performing acts of kindness boosted wellbeing and positive social emotions. In fact, in the first study, people got benefits after only seven days of performing acts of kindness.

Not only do you get the “helper high” from being kind, but these neurochemicals have also been found in many studies to help reduce depression, pain, anxiety and stress.

Feeling lazy? The great news is that it can be really easy, quick and cheap to get the benefits of kindness. You don’t need to go looking for over-the-top ways to show people how kind you are.

It’s true that research shows helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier, but recent research also finds that simply wishing someone well can have a similarly positive effect on our moods. In fact, even witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, which aids in lowering blood pressure, and improves self-esteem, optimism and our overall heart-health.

Ideas For Practising Kindness

So, what are some ideas for how to bring kindness into your week?

Praise Someone

Publicly acknowledge and praise someone for doing a good job or simply for being who they are. If you pick someone from your workplace, make sure you include their boss, and why not follow up with a handwritten card?

Can I help? Cards

Print off some cards with “Can I help” on them and a list of things you can help with around the house – from cooking and cleaning to gardening and handy-man repairs or grocery shopping or pet walking. Make sure to introduce yourself, including telling people why you’re doing this for free, and include your name and contact details. Then print of all the cards and drop them in mailboxes around your neighbourhood.

Mentor Someone

Mentoring is about more than giving someone advice and sharing knowledge. Mentors often develop close, reciprocal relationships with their mentees, who can bring a new or different perspective or ideas that can bring about self-reflection and growth for the mentor too. Aside from that, helping others can be really rewarding. On top of that, giving targeted support to an individual (rather than to a charity) has a better effect on your brain.

Donate Money

Consider a one-off donation or set aside some money each pay-check to donate to a reputable charity. There is something for everyone, from organisations that saves animals or protect the planet to research for diseases and social support. Make sure you do some research first to make sure your money is going where you think it is.

Give Your Coins

A few spare coins can make someone’s day, and be there difference between eating that day or getting a bed to sleep in. When you can, find someone on the street and give them your coins. When you do, make eye contact and smile. This small act can go a long way to helping a homeless person feel seen.

Stuck for kindness ideas? You can always download a Kindness Calendar from the Random Acts of Kindness website for some inspiration. For extra self-care points, why not complete the activities with a buddy or family member?

Related content: Read Moving On article 50 science-backed ways to be happier

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Your 6 Step Social Media Detox (and why you Need one NOW)

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Spending too much time in self-isolation and feeling the negative effects? You need a social media detox!

Do the things you like instead of liking things others are doing!

Have you found yourself turning to social media to while away the long hours of Covid lockdown? Are you noticing some negative effects? If so, you may need a social media detox.

Even before Covid, social media was well ingrained in most societies around the world. In Australia, as of January 2019 there were 18 million active users of social media websites (69% of the population). Facebook is the most popular social media platform, with ~16 million monthly users of the website. In the U. S., about 70 percent of adults say they use Facebook and YouTube, while Instagram and Snapchat are growing in popularity among 18-24 year-olds.

Social media can be an important part of modern life, but unfortunately, the research also tells us that it can also be destructive to our mental wellbeing. Many studies have linked excessive social media use to increased depression, anxiety, loneliness, sleeplessness, and many other mental health issues.

So, what should you do if you feel that your social media use is not good for your mental health? What if you’re spending too much time on social media?

Start With Self-Reflection

To begin with, take the time for some self-reflection. Grab a notepad and each day for a week, reflect on your social media habits.

Evaluate how social media makes you feel and how it impacts your life.

Write down your thoughts for a week. After some reflection, if you identify any negative effects that your social media use has had on your life, then you might want to consider a social media break. Here are your next steps…

6 Steps For a Successful Social Media Detox

1. Find a social media detox buddy: You’re more likely to complete the detox (or any new habit for that matter) if you have a friend to do the detox with. Agree on how long you’ll detox for – maybe try a week to start with and set the start date. Set a date with your friend, and touch base with each other regularly to check in during your detox.

2. Stop using your phone as an alarm: Get a real alarm clock and leave your phone away from your bed. This should stop you reaching for it first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

3. Be OK with being bored: The goal here is to take back your time and mindfulness. This means replacing hours of endless scrolling with more fun, but mindful, activities. It also means being present and being ok with being bored in-between tasks, like ad breaks or while waiting for things to happen.

4. Delete your social media apps: If this makes you feel anxious remember that this is only temporary, you can always download them again at any time. If you just can’t delete them, try moving them to a different screen on your phone. If you want to take it one step further, also limit your news intake to no more than 30 minutes a day!

5. Change your lock–screen: The simple act of having to put in a new and long password will make you think every time you open your phone screen. That can be enough to stop you from mindlessly using social media apps.

6. Start a new project: It’s easier to not miss something if you have something else to grab your attention. So why not start a new project or course.

After Your Social Media Cleanse: How to Bring Social Media Back Into Your Life

At some point, you might wish to bring social media back into your life, which is fair enough, and it’s important to note that there’s nothing inherently wrong with spending time on social media. It’s only when it starts having negative impacts on your life that you should be worried.

When you do bring it back into your life, bring it back slowly and the most important thing is to use it with purpose and intention. This means deliberately setting aside specific timeboxed times in the day to look at your social media. Perhaps it’s on the bus to work or school, for 10-minutes at lunchtime, and for 30 minutes after dinner.

Also, it helps to remove all notifications from your apps. This will help you to not be tempted throughout the day as the phone pings at you.

Remember it’s about you having control over you phone, not your phone having control over you. If you can be mindful, it will help you to ensure you don’t slip back into mindless scrolling.

Good luck!

Related content: Listen to our Podcast: Social Media Detoxing (E15)

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Designing Happy Cities (E19)

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Happiness for Cynics podcast

In the first of this two-part series on happy cities, this week we explore how to design happy cities. We look at the research from the Global Happiness Council’s annual Global Happiness and Wellbeing Policy Report, and discuss some great examples from around the world of cities which are getting it right.

Episode notes

In this week’s episode, Pete talked about how bicycle lanes are great for city living. This is the book he mentioned.

Transcript

M: You’re listening to the podcast happiness for cynics. I’m Marie Skelton, a writer and speaker focused on change and resilience.  

P: And I am Peter Furness, a banana bread maker, wall art hanger and occasional wedgie applicator. Each week we will bring you the latest news and research in the world of positive psychology, otherwise known as happiness.  

M: You can find us at marieskelton.com, which is a site about how to find balance, happiness and resilience in your life. We talk about a lot of the same research we cover here on the podcast, including some really practical tips for bringing joy and happiness into your life. 

P: So on to today’s episode, which is all about Happy Cities.  

[Happy intro Music] 

P: So Marie, Happy Cities. What are we talking about?  

M: This is such a hot topic right now. I’m so happy that we’re doing this. So there’s two things that are converging to macro level.  

P: Convergence, we like convergence were converging. 

M: And macro, that’s important. So firstly, we’re seeing huge advancements in technologies in particular the Internet of things, and that’s allowing us to know so much more data and know so much more about what our people are doing and how they’re moving in, how they’re living than we’ve ever had before. 

P: So “big brother” is a good thing.  

M: It can be. I’m not 100% sold, but I think- 

P: There’s a practical application of the “big brother” [concept]. It’s actually working for us.  

M: Yes, exactly. And then the second thing that’s happening is there’s an increasing understanding that human well-being matters, and we’ve mentioned it before. But people are saying to come to the realisation that economic prosperity without well-being is a bit hollow.  

So this really started picking up steam in 2015 when the UN announced its 2030 agenda for sustainable development and that was adopted by all UN member states. And in it, there’s 17 sustainable development goals which aim to bring peace and prosperity to all the world and its people. Now amongst those 17 goals, there’s two that in particular apply to happy cities.  

The first is goal number three, which is good health and well-being. And then there’s also number 11 which is sustainable cities and communities. And when it comes to cities and communities, a lot of the UN plan focuses on getting the basics right, like proper waste management, eradicating slums and providing clean air. But it does also touch on some of the topics we’re going to cover today, like access to green spaces and good public transport, which are key to happy cities. 

So for today’s episode, rather than focusing on the UN sustainable development goals, we have taken a different document, which is a bit more relevant for us in Australia because we have done some really good work to get those basics right. And now we’re talking about what’s next. So the report we’re looking at is the Global Happiness Council’s annual global happiness and well-being policy report.  

So Pete, maybe you can start with why we should be focusing on Happy Cities, not just happy people?  

P: I love that we’re focusing on Happy Cities. I think this is a really interesting segway in global awareness, really, that we’re no longer just talking about economic development and GDP and stuff this whole movement around ‘let’s create good things for people and for all people’, which I think is really important. That’s a point we will come back to later.  

If we’re looking at Happy Cities, what makes a happy city just a bit of background; we’re using cities more. So the human population on a global scale is now becoming more urbanised. Since 2007 we actually have more urbanised population globally than we do rural. So we’ve hit 55% of global population in 2007, live in cities.  

M: I think that’s a really, really good stat to show how, as a society or society’s globally, we’re evolving from an agrarian, hunter/gatherer/farmer to industrial, which did bring a lot more people into the cities and made the need for cities greater. To a service economy now, where definitely everyone is in the city for right now because we haven’t quite gotten there yet, But it’ll be really interesting to see if gig economy and, you know, especially post Covid[19], where we know now that we can work from home and a lot of industries whether we will still need cities as much in the future. 

P: It’s interesting because the predictions are that in 2050 we’re going to have 2/3 of the world’s population in cities, seven billion people as opposed to right now, which is just 4.1 billion people. These are the predictions we’re using cities more and that, the attraction of living in the city is greater. So, interestingly enough, and I found this this odd that as we grow older and as we grow wealthier, we tend to gravitate towards cities. I would have thought the opposite, but it’s not the case. We like being in cities. Cities provide opportunity. They provide better health systems support and all that sort of stuff. So we’re more drawn towards them. 

M: And also more leisure activities. You can always go to the beach or go somewhere quiet for a weekend. I think that on a day to day basis, having access to more people and cultural activities when you’re retired becomes more important. 

P: It comes into the, into the factoring of what makes a happy city actually. When we- 

M: Tell us! Do tell us. 

P: Well actually, there are lots of different things. There’s, there’s the infrastructure. There’s things like parks, cycle paths, piazzas, green and blue spaces, culture. So the art culture, HUGE, massive, so big!  

M: For you the art culture is huge. But for others it can make a break a city, the culture, and it’s not necessarily art, but it is the culture of a city.  

P: Definitely but art plays a big part in that. I’ll come back to that later. So these are all in addition to services such as waste management, sewerage and public transport, which is another big one. 

M: Public transport’s important. 

P: Yeah, it’s a huge one. In terms of the global happiness report, there’s two aspects of this report that come out really, really strongly.  One is that there is a design element of city, so things that we put in place to create happy cities. And then there’s the enablers of city happiness. So I think for this podcaster we are actually going to separate into two different podcasts. 

M: Yes, you’re listening to part one today.  

P: Today we’re gonna talk about the design. So what goes into the designing of a good city and how to create that. And in the report they come up with six different areas of [what a] city needs to create a happy city.  

M: All right, well, how about you start us off with the 1st 3 Pete?  

P: All right. So we’ll talk about: 

1. Urban design and place making 

This is city planning, connected spaces and places that create a good city. Creating and using functional space as well. Now I’m going to launch right into this one with an example. Bike lanes, bike lanes, they’re the new black. It’s the thing that everybody is being measured by in terms of their city ability is, do you have a bike lane concept and our bikes able to operate within your city? And it’s a big one because bicycle riding connects communities, so it makes people able to get around. Now, in terms of a city that doesn’t have good public transport, doesn’t have good access. If you can ride somewhere, to get to the grocery shop, to go and see friends, to hang out in the park, it makes a big difference to how you use a city.  

M: Let me add, if you can safely ride somewhere, no one would let their kid’s ride around Sydney, even though we have a bike lane or two every now and then, the bike lanes through the city are like, if you want death, go ride through Sydney CBD. 

P: [Laugh] that’s such a good point Marie, because there’s some gurus out there and there’s this couple Melissa and Chris Bruntlett, who come from Vancouver and they actually wrote a book on ‘Building the Cycling City: The Dutch Blueprint for Urban Vitality’ and they actually talk about the safety of bike riding and how safe it is for a city to be bike riding in and of course, we all know Amsterdam has the best record. 

M: And Nordic, it’s the Nordic countries again.  

P: That do it well, yep. And it really makes a community come together. It provides accessibility, and, as you say, it brings people together because it’s safe and you could take families. 

M: So that was an example of, what was it? 

P: Design and place making. Designing a city. Examples of how to design a city to create good community interaction.  

The next one we look at.

2. Nature 

Huge, connecting with nature, contact with nature, easily accessible green and blue spaces. And when we talk about green and blue spaces, we’re talking about green spaces, which are obviously the parks, your centennial parks, your Hyde Park’s, you’re access to green spaces at the end of your street. 

M: And your natural bush land and forest areas depending on what country you’re in. 

P: Yep, all that sort of stuff. When we talk about blue spaces, I had to look this one up.  

M: Water.  

P: I know I didn’t think. I was just like what’s a blue space?  

M: [Laugh] It’s not a blue zone! 

P: That’s what I thought.  

M: It’s a bunch of old people… 

P: all hanging out in their bikinis.  

[Laughter] 

M: That would be Florida. 

P: Or Hampstead Heath in London.  

But blue space is access to water, which is hugely important and I actually did a lot of research into this in terms of water being included in a city scape. So water is really beneficial for inspiring awe, inspiration. It has a calming effect, has a white noise effect, and it actually brings down traffic noise.  

M: Yes  

P: I thought that was a really interesting point. So in a city scape water is hugely important for creating not only a visual area of interaction, but also auditory, so you can actually dull down the sounds of the city. And the other thing is it cools, and this is something that comes back to medieval times, in the 13th century in Spain, they used water to cool the streets of the city and having water features and there’s beautiful Andalusian fountains in the middle of the piazza or something. They weren’t just pretty, they were there for a function. But I thought that was an interesting aspect, that it has a function that’s not just pretty.  

M: Yeah, yeah.  

P: Really benefits us.  

Okay, moving on to number three. Let’s look at this one:  

3. Mobility 

And that is the ability to get around. So again, bike lanes as being bike lanes are the new black but we’re also looking in here, we’re looking at public transport, diversity of transport and this is a huge one in terms of the development of electronic vehicles and also automated vehicles, which- 

M: I can’t wait for flying cars!  

P: [Laugh] It’s all back to the future, and the future is here people [laugh]. 

M: It is! They exist! They’re being tested right now. 

P: They’re getting better and this is the funny thing, we had this conversation about a year ago. I Remember Marie, you were all pro automated vehicles. No way it’s going to cause accidents. People, I was wrong. 

M: Yes! 

P: The science says that the ability for automated vehicles to prevent accidents is much greater than human error. 

M: Uh huh, computers win again.  

P: Unfortunately… So in 2011 to 2015 electronic vehicle rates soared by 800 percent. Huge increases, and this is only going to get bigger. Technology is improving in the expansion of public transit networks, along with autonomous vehicles and electronic vehicles, is going. It’s going to be a thing of the future. Infrastructure is going to support that so shared public transport, variable transport, in terms of lane ways and arterial roads, which we’re seeing in Sydney at the moment with this whole West connects drama that we’ve all been going through. It’s the way of the future, unfortunately, and the future of mobility is going to be a massive indicator of smart cities and how a city can increase its happiness.  

M: And I think that newer cities are definitely much better placed because they’ve got wider roads and wider lane ways. So it is really tough in cities like Paris. We were there last year. They can’t put lifts in for people with disabilities into their subway systems because they’re underground is like Swiss cheese, right? And the whole thing is going to come falling down if they keep drilling too many holes in there. 

P: Sydney’s suffers from that a little bit as well. 

M: A little bit but we’ve definitely got accessibility down pat compared to a lot of other countries, but you’re really stuck with the age of the infrastructure that you’ve inherited. It’s like older companies right now that have a tech debt with stuff that they’ve been building on top of and on top of and on top of since the seventies compared to new entrants to the market, who come with fresh, clean technology that is only six months old, right? So for, for cities that are really old, this mobility piece becomes so much more costly and difficult to implement. 

P: But it’s going to make a difference to how people can use the city. That’s the whole point.  

M: Yeah, absolutely.  

P: Getting around a city and arterial roads are a really simple introduction to that. You can bypass the busy area of the city so that you can get across town.  

M: Absolutely. All right, we’re going to keep moving on and we’ll power through these last three in our last three minutes.  

So number four on the list of design elements that lead to Happy Cities is: 

4. Sustainability and partnerships.  

So this is one of the things I really liked about the UN sustainability goals is that Number 17 the last one on their list, talks about the need for partnership, and it’s a concept that’s definitely picked up steam over the last five years or so. The government can’t do it all, and there’s been some great examples of where government, academia, corporations and citizens are all coming together now to change our cities and to plan for the future and its, I think the only way that you get true innovation is in coming out of your bubble and your sector and what you know and partnering with other organisations that bring their worldview and they’re different perspectives to drive towards one common goal. So partnership is so key and there’s a great example in Halifax in Canada of some city councillors there and they get $94,000 a year to spend on city infrastructure projects and instead of just deciding that they’re gonna spend it on fountain’s because they’ve got water. 

P: [Laugh] they’re pretty. 

M: I mean, they’d freeze up in Halifax, or whatever it is, instead of sitting in a room with a bunch of councillors and deciding where to spend their money; each year, they have community organisations come in and set up a booth and the residents come in and they walk around and get a little pitch from each of the organisations and then they vote on their top five and so the community is then invested in whatever is developed. The community organisations get to meet the residents and government get to put money into things that the residents want. And it’s just a great little simple example of how you can bring three different communities together to achieve a common goal. 

P: And it’s also giving an empowerment to the people who occupy the city. They’re in charge of their future. And they’re making conscious decisions on it.  

M: Yes, and they’re more likely to use the end outcome.  

All right, so moving on: 

5. Culture. 

We mentioned culture. 

P: The artists have it.  

M: So this is about a city having a sense of uniqueness and having a soul. It is the soul of the city-  

P: and identity that is unique to that city.  

M: Yeah, definitely. So what we’re talking about here is everything from visuals, lights, arts, sounds, climate and people’s behaviour and attitude as well as their physical structures. So all of those things can contribute to a city’s culture. And you’ve been over, you’ve been to Vancouver, haven’t you?  

P: Not yet! I was supposed to go this year.  

M: OH! You were meant to go. 

P: Bloody Covid[19] My Canadian holiday has been cancelled. 

M: All right, I’m going to tell you about a great place called Granville Island from Vancouver. So in the seventies, it was, a dilapidated, industrial area, and the Vancouver government has taken it back and since then, invested a lot of money and I love their mission statement. So it’s “The most inspiring public place in the world.” Is their mission statement, and today it’s a fabulous, artistic and cultural hub. And it’s got public markets about 50 independent restaurants and also got about 300 businesses employing about 3000 people. And arguably many of Canada’s best artists and designers have their works displayed there or they’re selling there, and we went there a couple of years ago. It’s such a great place, such a great place. Now that is a great example of people coming together to create a space that Vancouver’s now so well known for. All tourists go there now and locals love it. Yes, so culture definitely matters. 

P: And I’m going to throw some stats in there. This is where I find a lot of information from the UK coming through. They’re very good at actually evaluating statistics for arts inclusion and there is an arts on prescription project, which comes from Cambridge in the UK. [Arts on Prescription program is based on a model developed in the UK whereby health professionals, including GPs, write prescriptions for their patients to participate in the arts.]  

They found that for an arts community that was actively involved out there in a cityscape:  

  • 71% decrease in feelings of anxiety,  
  • 73% falling depression and  
  • 76% of participants said their wellbeing was increased and they felt more socially included in a city. 

M: Alright, I’m sold. 

P: That’s 3/4 of the city population going ‘yeah, we like artistic spaces.’ You’ve only got to look at the Instagram accounts of people going around taking photos of the graffiti wings that are on all these buildings around. People interact with art on a street level. It isn’t something to be helping museums. I’m getting on my soapbox here [laugh].  

M: All right, we are going to move on. Oh, we are over time already. So we’ll get to the last one and then we’re going to have to wrap up. So last one is: 

6. Quality of service. 

Okay, So it’s making genuinely citizen centred services easier and accessible. And this one is so important. If you’ve ever been to the DMV in the States or if you’ve ever tried to complete a simple tax return in America, you will know the pain that comes with poorly designed, customer centric or non-customer centric services. And we like to complain here in Australia. But our government has digitised most services, and it does lead to a far easier way of doing those day to day things like renewing your licence or paying your fines.  

P: Okay. I’ll concede to you, they’re on their way Marie.  

M: And not that I’m paying fines on a day to day basis. But what I will also say that is in here is accessibility. And when I had my accident after I got out of hospitals in a wheelchair for 6 to 9 months while I was getting on to my feet consistently and it’s lonely, it really is lonely. And it’s not lonely because I had less friends. It’s lonely because I couldn’t do many of the activities that they were doing. I couldn’t get to a bar and feel safe doing that. I couldn’t get to public transport. It just isolates you. And there are so many people in our community who have disabilities or who are elderly and aren’t stable on their feet and they’re ah… 

P: They don’t do things because they’re too scared.  

M: Exactly, exactly. And that’s what I mean by accessibility. So having accessible public transport in accessible spaces is so critical to a large portion of our population.  

P: It’s interesting the Australian environmental Grant Makers Network chimes in here, saying that Australian cities are failing with social inequalities.  

M: Yep. 

P: Do you agree? 

M: Look, I think we’re better than a lot of other countries. I wouldn’t say, I don’t think we’re there yet. Still a long way to go. But we’re doing a lot better than a lot of other countries.  

P: So if we’re going to wrap this up because we’ve gone over time as we always tend to do, this was such a big topic to try and condense into 20 minutes. I mean, we could go on and on.  

M: Maybe, all right. Well, on that note. Thank you for joining us today If you want to hear more please remember to subscribe and like this podcast. 

P: Stay happy people. 

[Happy exit Music] 

Related content: Listen to our Podcast: Enabling Happy Cities (E20)

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11 Ideas For Your Next Mental Health Day

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Mental Health day ideas

How To Ask For A Mental Health Day And What To Do When You Get One

Are you feeling stressed or burnout? Do you need to reset and unwind, but are you just too exhausted to think about mental health day ideas? Do you need some inspiration?

The month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month – an annual reminder that 1 in 5 people will face a mental health issue at some point in their lives. It shines a light on mental health and mental illness and raises awareness of the fact that many people struggle day to day with mental health issues. More than that, talking about it helps to normalise it, lessening the stigma and letting people know there is no shame and there is support.

This year, talking about mental health is even more poignant with many people currently experiencing heightened stress, anxiety and fears due to Coronavirus. Not only that but the impacts of the Coronavirus, such as losing your job or being isolated, can compound the issue by adding financial stress and/or deepening feelings of loneliness and guilt, among many others.

Then there are the essential workers and remote workers, the people we are depending on and who are working longer more stressful hours. Not having a job comes with its own stresses, but in today’s environment having a job can be just as stressful. And essential workers have been working at a heightened stress level for weeks now, just to get the job done. And many are starting to feel the effects of burnout. Even before the pandemic hit, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimated that one in four adults will experience burnout in their lives.

Signs You May Need a Mental Health Day

Burnout is a slow progressing state that you get to over time. It’s about working at an unsustainable pace for too long. It can leave you feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, as well as cynical and detached.

Symptoms of burnout include:

  • excessive stress,
  • insomnia,
  • fatigue,
  • sadness, anger or irritability,
  • defensiveness, cynicism or a negative outlook
  • alcohol or substance misuse,
  • high blood pressure, and
  • decreased immune function leading to an increase in illnesses, among others.

If you’ve noticed any of the above symptoms, you could be experiencing burnout. It may be time to ask your boss for a mental health day. If so, read on for some mental health day ideas.

How To Ask For Time Off

Even though conversations about mental health are slowly becoming normalised, it can still be hard to ask for time off to recharge. As much as we know that mental health is just as important as physical health, it is that much harder to ask for a day off when we’re stressed or overwhelmed compared to when we have the flu.

Before you have a conversation with your boss, therapist Julieann Ipsan says: “It is vital to assess if your company and work culture is open to the idea of mental health days. If asking and explaining details will ultimately create more stress, it’s better to take a sick day with no explanation of the mental health needs.”

If your company is OK with mental health days, but you’re still not ready to share your reasons with your boss, you can always say something like, “I’m not feeling well so I have to take a day off, but I’ll be back tomorrow.” This is completely acceptable, after all, you don’t want to create more stress by asking for a mental health day. When pressed for more information, you can simply say “Don’t worry, I am OK, but I really don’t feel up to sharing the details at the moment.”

Once you know that your boss and workplace are open to mental health days, and you are OK with opening up that dialogue, then a little bit of planning can help to smooth the way. If possible, try to take a day off when you will have a limited impact on others or where you can reschedule your meetings.

When you talk to your boss, explain the symptoms you’ve been experiencing, and the benefits of taking some time off to recharge. It could go something like this: “As you know, I’ve been under the pump and the stress is getting to be too much. I’ve not been sleeping well for a while now and I know I have been short-tempered lately. I’m also not doing my best work. I need to be better at looking after myself and I would like to take a mental health day on Thursday to recharge. I hope this helps me to improve my mood and productivity.”

The more people talk about this, and chart a course for others, the more we’ll all benefit from this open, supportive environment in the future. Remember, if you need additional help, reach out to a professional.

11 Mental Health Day Ideas

Once you get your day off, it can be easy to sleep in and just curl up on the couch with the remote. That would be a mistake. It’s time to give yourself what you’ve been missing over the past few weeks or months. This means a mix of quiet, mindful activities, a little bit of pampering, and a lot of rest.

Here are 11 mental health day ideas:

  1. Don’t set an alarm. Let your body tell you when it has had enough sleep.
  2. Put your phone on silent. You don’t want to get sucked into mindless news and social media scrolling, or even worse: work issues! If you absolutely have to be contactable, set aside a small amount of time in the morning and again in the evening to check your messages. Stick to those timeframes!
  3. Put on some music. Set the tone for the day by choosing a playlist or artist who makes you happy or relaxed.
  4. Make your favourite breakfast and eat it outside. The benefits of being outside are well documented. Mindfully enjoy your meal, sit quietly and feel the sun on your face.
  5. Do some light exercise. Go for a 30-min walk around a new part of your neighbourhood. See what you can find that you never knew existed. Be mindful and take notice of nature. Don’t do extreme exercise as it can add further stress to your body – today is about recharging not further depleting your body.
  6. Eat a healthy lunch. It’s time to reset any bad eating habits you’ve developed while stressed. Try a big bowl of salad with chicken or fish. If this feels like a punishment, try to think of it instead as caring for yourself, and then add some nuts and cheese!
  7. Fit in a pampering activity. Go get your nails done or get a massage. Whatever makes you feel like a million dollars.
  8. Make some commitments to change. If you’re in an unsustainable position at work, think about to talking to your boss to let them know explicitly that your situation is not sustainable and ask them to work with you on solutions, or propose some solution. It might take some time for things to change, so in the meantime, you should also commit to changing your own self-care behaviour to help you get through. Pick one thing you can do starting tomorrow. This could be committing to getting 8 hours of sleep, drinking enough water, packing healthy lunches, drinking less alcohol, or walking more each day (try getting off the train/bus one stop earlier).
  9. Set yourself up for the next day. Particularly if you’re going back to your stressful work the next day, you want to do what you can to ease the anxiety that will be building as you get closer to going back. Put your clothes out in the evening and pack a healthy lunch so it’s easy to grab and go.
  10. Wind down. If you’re an evening TV watcher, try changing your routine to read a paper book for a couple of hours before bed. Either way, before you go to sleep, take 20 minutes to do some light stretching, then sit calmly and think about 3 things you’re grateful for. Write them down in a book.
  11. Go to bed early. You don’t want to mess up your sleeping patterns, so don’t go to bed too early, but make sure you’re in bed with enough time to get 8 hours of sleep.

Related content: Read Moving On article Resiliency Is About Recharging And Self-Care, But Are You Doing It Wrong?

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Comment below! Tell me, what activities do you do on your mental health or self-care days?

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

7 Pieces of Happiness Advice to Live By

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What is the top Happiness Advice From the Experts?

There are a lot of people who are happy to hand out life advice. My mum has handed down some doozies (in all fairness, times – and science – have definitely changed over the years).

I now know that going outside with wet hair won’t make me sick, and I won’t drown if I swim less than 30 minutes after eating. And I can attest to the fact that hair-of-the-dog always makes things worse, not better.

But what’s the latest advice about how to be happier? And who are today’s happiness advice experts (not just what mum told me … which was to “find a man who treats you right”)?

Let’s take a look at what the world’s experts on happiness – monks, psychologists and professors – have to say about how we can live a happier life. Here are 7 pieces of happiness advice to live by.

7 Pieces of Happiness Advice

1. Flow, the Secret to Happiness

Positive psychology pioneer Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has studied those who find pleasure and lasting satisfaction, and his happiness advice lies in doing activities that bring about a state of “flow.”

“There’s this focus that, once it becomes intense, leads to a sense of ecstasy, a sense of clarity: you know exactly what you want to do from one moment to the other; you get immediate feedback. You know that what you need to do is possible to do, even though difficult, and sense of time disappears, you forget yourself, you feel part of something larger.”

2. The Habits of Happiness

Biochemist turned Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard says we should train our minds in habits of well-being to generate a true sense of serenity and fulfillment.

“Mind training matters… this is not just a luxury. This is not a supplementary vitamin for the soul. This is something that’s going to determine the quality of every instant of our lives.”

3. The Surprising Science of Happiness

Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert says our “psychological immune system” lets us change our views of the world, so that we can feel better about the world in which we find ourselves.

“Our longings and our worries are both to some degree overblown, because we have within us the capacity to manufacture the very commodity we are constantly chasing when we choose experience.”

4. Plug Into Your Hard-wired Happiness

Writer and life coach Srikumar Rao says we all strive for happiness — but our model is wrong. We need to learn how to accept the life we have, and to do that we must invest in the process, not the outcome.

“There is nothing that you have to get, do or be in order to be happy… Think about your life 10 years ago…if you remember clearly, there were certain things you wanted… Odds are pretty good that many of those things you wanted 10 years ago you now have. Is that correct? Where has that left you? In exactly the same place, right?” 

5. Want to be Happy? Be Grateful

David Steindl-Rast is a Benedictine monk who says that happiness in born from gratefulness.

“A grateful world is a world of joyful people. Grateful people are joyful people, and joyful people – the more and more joyful people there are, the more and more we’ll have a joyful world.”

6. The Happy Secret to Better Work

Positive Psychologist Shawn Achor is the CEO of Good Think, and he says happiness inspires us to be more productive and more successful.

“90 percent of your long-term happiness is predicted not by the external world, but by the way your brain processes the world… only 25% of job successes are predicted by IQ, 75 percent of job successes are predicted by your optimism levels, your social support and your ability to see stress as a challenge instead of as a threat.”

7. What Makes a Good Life? Lessons From the Longest Study on Happiness

Robert Waldinger, the director of the Harvard happiness study, says good relationships are the key to a fulfilling, long life.

“Social connections are really good for us, and (…) loneliness kills. Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies, they protect our brains.”

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