Happiness for Cynics podcast
This week, Marie and Pete talk about how to start your day in a happier, healthier and more energetic mood with these five helpful tips.
Show notes
The Southern Lights – These lights also known as the Aurora Australis and are caused when plasma particles carried by the solar wind strike the Earth’s atmosphere. This causes an excitation of the particles which emits the multi-coloured light. During the podcast Marie asks when the lights can be seen and was correct in assuming that the lights are most visible during the south’s winter (June – August), However they can be seen all year round and peak during the Spring’s equinox in September when the state of the Earth’s magnetic field facilitates more solar particles to create more auroras. The best places to view the lights are in the southern most areas of our world, including Antarctica, Tasmania, Southern Victoria, New Zealand, Chile, Argentina and the Falkland Islands.
During the podcast Pete refers to a talk given be a General about starting your day with one success. It was in fact given by U.S. Navy Adm. William H. McCraven, and the exact quote is, “If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” We apologise for any incorrect referencing during the podcast. To view the full speech go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sK3wJAxGfs
Transcript
[Happy intro music -background]
M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.
P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.
M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.
P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.
[Intro music fadeout]
P: How you doing Muz?
M: Good.
P: That’s good. Happy festival of light.
M: Oh, what is that?
P: It’s the winter solstice.
M: Today?
P: Not today, but this week.
M: Okay.
P: I’m pre-empting, laugh.
M: Alright, well happy that, laugh.
P: Happy winter solstice, everyone. It’s the time for celebrating the longest night of the year.
M: Oh, and practising some hygge?
P: Hygge!
M & P: Laugh!
P: Cosy socks, it’s basically Christmas.
M: Mmm, for the southern hemisphere.
P: Well yes. It’s our, it would be like our Christmas. So, Christmas was actually over-taken by cultures to coincide with the pagan festival of light, which is the winter solstice, which is the longest night of the year.
M: Oh, does mean that you’d see the southern lights at this time of year? Do you see the northern lights in the coldest months?
P: I don’t know that answer at all.
M: Is that a dumb question? Have I just asked something really dumb?
P: No, no. Let’s, let’s research that and come back to that.
M: We’ll come back to it.
P: Yeah.
M: Alright, producer Lea, please remind us –
P: Laugh! As you always do, my darling.
M: – to come back to that.
P & M: Laughter!
P: And put it in the notes.
M: Laugh, nothing would ever happen without our fabulous producer Lea.
P: Oh, Leandra is fabulous. She reminds us when we say we’re going to do that. And then two weeks later she says I can’t find anything –
M: “Guys, you didn’t do it”, laugh.
P: No, she doesn’t even say that she’s very respectful. “Can’t find anything in the show notes. And I had a look online.” But yeah, that just means we didn’t do it.
M: Sorry.
P & M: Laugh.
M: We said we’d do something, and we don’t.
P & M: Laugh.
P: Anyway, we’re not talking about the winter solstice this evening, although we could, because it’s fabulous and it’s a time for hunger and imbibing in all those lovely inside indoors-y things like –
M: [Whispers to Pete.]
P: Laugh, we’re not going sexual, we’re going fires and –
M: G rated show, G rated show.
P: – and red wine.
M: Oh.
P: My coffee person told me today, I said, “Today’s a great day for coffee because it’s cold and you just want to hold on to it.” And she said “Yeah, that and red wine.” And I’m like thanks, that’s all I’m going to think of now all day long.
M: Laugh!
P: And that was at eight o’clock this morning!
M: Oh, dear.
P: Laugh, I’m not a morning person, people.
M: Speaking of –
P: Oh! Speaking of not being a morning person! Oh, what a segway! I’m going to take that one!
M: So, today we are going to talk about how to wake up happy.
P: [Singing] ‘Because I’m happy, clap along if you feel’ –
M: Ok, stop there or we’ll have to pay royalties.
P: Laugh!
M: We are talking about how to wake up happy.
P: Giggling.
M: Not that I think we need help Pete, laugh.
P: Oh, are you kidding? You’ve seen me thing in the morning, I’m a miserable bitch, laugh!
M: We’re not great morning people, are we? There is actually research into whether morning people are happier and it does tend to point to morning people being happier people in general.
P: Damn it!
M: Same with another recent study, which I will mention which I’ve popped up on my website, which talks about vegans versus meat eaters.
P: Oh yeah, I’m going to question this one. They’re only happy because they think they’re better, Boom!
M: There’s also a lot more acceptance of vegans –
P: Laugh! They think they’re better than everybody else and that’s why they’re happier.
M: Oh, you stop Pete. We’ve talking about this.
P: I like my pig! Laugh.
M: So, there was a study I think over a decade ago that said that vegans were only more respected than lawyers and politicians.
P: Oh, laugh.
M: Or something along those lines, but lately our vegan brothers and sisters are coming more into mainstream. People are doing, you know we used to do tight-ass Tuesdays now we do meatless Mondays.
P: Oh, really? We do?
M: Yeah.
P: Oh, whoops. I missed that one.
M: Or just having less meat in our diet in general. Having vegetable lunches.
P: I will fully support that one. I’ve actually played with this myself and in the last 12 months I have cut down my red meat intake, and I’ve got to say it works.
M: Yep.
P: It’s good for you. All the science says that it’s good for your internal organs, it’s good for your digestion it reduces the inflammation markers in your body.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: It is actually a good thing.
M: And don’t we know that Physical Health is tied to Mental Health and happiness Pete, laugh.
P: I’m not saying anything! Laugh! Stay tuned…
M: Alright, we should get to today’s topic.
P: Yeah, sorry. So, how to wake up happy.
M: How to wake up happy.
P: What do you have to do to wake up happy Muz?
M: Look, we’ve got five things we want to talk about today that are scientifically proven –
P: Of course.
M: – to help you have a better day. And really, this is about setting yourself up for a positive day and a positive life.
P: Oh, I’m intrigued please tell me more?
M: There are habits that you can build into your morning that will help you, you know love your life. Simple as that, love your life.
P: Yep, I’ll agree with this.
M: And it is the first one, the biggest one, sorry for all you new parents out there, –
P: Laugh!
M: is get enough sleep. Such a no brainer.
P: It seems basic, doesn’t it?
M: Really does.
P: Yeah, it’s a big indicator.
M: Yep, such a simple thing. It is a basic human need, like eating and drinking water.
P: Yep.
M: And there is a huge correlation between mental health and sleep.
P: And physical health.
M: Yep.
P: Our immune function goes down by 40% if we lose one hour of sleep in a night.
M: Not only that, but our ability to experience happy events is reduced. So, everyone knows that you get a bit grumpy if don’t get enough sleep.
P: Yep.
M: But not only that, if you get promoted or you get great news or you pass an exam or whatever it is that can happen that is good and could actually have a positive affect on your life.
P: Yep.
M: You will experience less positive emotions.
P: [Shocked gasp!]
M: If you didn’t get a good night’s sleep beforehand.
P: You mean I can be happier?
M: Yes.
P: Oh, I’m in!
M: Laugh. I just want to read a great quote by Sara Mednick, who’s a sleep researcher in the Department of Psychology at UC Riverside. I applied for U C Riverside.
P: Did you?
M: Yeah.
P: Is that in California?
M: Yeah, it is.
P: Right.
M: Everyone wants to go to California, and play volleyball, laugh.
P: Laugh.
M: [Sound of failure], did not get in. Anyway, so Sara Mednick says:
“Imagine a silent epidemic wreaking havoc on our health, endangering our safety and straining our relationships with family and loved ones. The body count rises dramatically, yet no presidential task forces are assembled, no big celebrity fund-raisers are held, and very little outcry is heard I the media. As a result, millions of afflicted people go on as if nothing is amiss and the spread of the disease continues unabated. This is not an imaginary scenario. The plague is upon us. It’s called fatigue.”
P: Oh, that’s so dramatic, I like it.
M: I could have been an actress.
P: Laugh.
M: I gave that, my all.
P: Yeah, it was good.
M: But you don’t expect it to be fatigue.
P: Hmm, no.
M: Yet, there are so many physical and mental health issues that come up if you have sustained lack of sleep.
P: Yep, there’s so much more awareness of this coming out and a lot more people are doing things to promote the value of the sleep. There are some brilliant Ted talks out there.
M: Mmm.
P: I’m going to bring up my good old mate, Professor Ian Hickie from Swinburne University in Melbourne [Professor of Psychiatry and Co-Director of the Mind and Brain Institute at Sydney University]. He is the sleep dude, he’s the sleep doctor, laugh. He’s very vocal on how sleep affects our health and what it does for our mental and physical health.
M: Yep.
M: So, the best thing you can do to wake up happy, ahead of your morning routine, is to get enough sleep.
P: Done! Number two, I like this.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: Set your alarm to [singing] ‘happy music!’
M: Are you going to start singing again. [Singing] ‘Because I’m Happy.’
P: Laugh. For me it would be a Disney tune.
M: Laugh.
P: I actually tried this. I did actually set my alarm to ‘Hakuna Matata.’
M: Disney, yes!
P: From ‘The Lion King.’
M: Yes!
P: But, get this! It was too much!
M: Laugh!
P: I couldn’t, I couldn’t handle ‘Hakuna Matata’ when I was coming out of sleep.
M: No!
P: It was too, it was too happy!
M: Wow, laugh.
P: It was too bright.
M: Laugh.
P: I did this a few years ago, and I was like ‘I’m gonna do this and it’s gonna be fabulous. I like wake up and it’s like ‘What in the hell is going on! There’s a meerkat in my head and it won’t let me go.’
M: Laugh. That’s the way to hate Disney.
P: Laugh, well it doesn’t if you don’t go overboard. There’s this whole thing, I love this, sleep inertia.
M: Yes.
P: It’s a thing, it’s like forest bathing, it’s a thing. Sleep Inertia is experienced as a feeling of grogginess or a lack of alertness when you wake.
M: Oh, I hate that.
P: Yeah.
M: For me if the room’s too dark, I really struggle with waking up. I end up with sleep inertia.
P: Mmm.
M: If I can wake up gently and slowly on the weekends with light coming in my room.
P: Oh, yeah.
M: That is my ideal way of waking up.
P: And I agree. I think it’s a really nice way of waking. So I switched from ‘Hakuna Matata’ –
M: Mmm hmm.
P: – to ABC Classical FM.
M: Ah, yeah. That way you get a bit of variety. I’ve got this weird Celtic music with rainfall and birds chirping at the moment.
P: That works, yeah.
M: But I’m a bit over it.
P: Yeah, and you can. You can get over your alarm.
M: Yeah.
P: So I think changing your alarm is actually really important. But what they say is that soft melodic music, irrespective of the specific type or genre, leads to significantly reduced feelings of sleep inertia when compared with alternative music such as a melodic beeping alarms or high pitched.
M: Like: Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep…
P: Oh my god. Who wants to wake up to that! I’d slap someone if they did that to me.
M: Yep, yet so many of us don’t change our alarms.
P: Yeah, laugh. I remember volleyball mornings, having that alarm to make sure I woke up at some ungodly hour, so I get to the court on time because my coach said I had to be there 45 minutes before the game started.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: Not looking at anyone, Marie Skelton…
Back to the point. Beeping noises don’t work.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: Don’t do it. It’s not good. It’s not pleasant.
M: And you’ve got a story to tell about sleeping in, don’t you?
P: I do. This is quite cute. So, a NASA astronaut went to the International Space Station and he set some alarms for himself because, he said, “I had to wake up before the sunrise over the earth.” I mean, you’re on the international space station, it’s a big thing.
M: Which is something you train for your whole life to be an astronaut.
P: Yes.
M: And this is it!
P: It’s the moment! And you don’t want to sleep at all because you want to take the most out of this moment.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: Someone slept through their alarm…
M: Twice, right?
P: Laugh!
M: Twice!
P: Laugh, [fail noise]. So, the quote is:
“The morning started disastrously. I slept through two alarms, one set for 0600 and another half an hour later to remind me to take some Crew Earth Observation (CEO) pictures. My body apparently went on strike for better working conditions.
M: And that’s what happens when you don’t get enough sleep.
P: Laugh.
M: Or maybe have a Beep, Beep, Beep alarm.
P: Yeah, and you don’t want to wake up.
M: And you get sleep inertia.
P: Yep. Find some nice music, some melodic raindrop music is good.
M: Or some happy music. Whatever makes you happy.
P: Yeah, but don’t go ‘Hakuna Matata’ cause it’s too much.
M: You know I really am actually going to go with ‘Hakuna Matata’ this week.
P: Laugh.
M: I want to see how it goes.
P: Laugh. I say ‘Snow White’ you know, [singing] ‘Someday my Prince will come…’
M: I think ‘Over the rainbow’.
P: Oooh.
M: My Grandma used to sing it to me. It has meaning.
P: Yes, yeah that works. Ok, number three.
M: Yeah. I’m going to start with ‘Hakuna Matata’ though.
P: Laugh.
M: So, this is what I’m really bad at, but all the science says to do it.
P: Laugh.
M: And again I’m going to say that, and I’m going to point to Sonja Lyubomirsky, who is the Queen of Gratitude research around the world.
P: I remember going through her name and trying to figure out how to say it.
M: I think we’ve listened to it on Ted talks. So, I’m pretty confident about this one.
P: Laugh.
M: And Chic-sent-me-hail [Csikszentmihalyi]
P: Laugh!
M: Everyone else I apologise for ruining your name.
P: Laugh, amygdala…
M: But Sonja Lyubomirsky has written books and has published so much research about the benefits of gratitude. And she herself says, she doesn’t Gratitude Journal. She doesn’t, because it’s not her thing. It’s not for her. It doesn’t speak to her.
P: Right.
M: So, I’m going to talk about something that just doesn’t speak to me, and it is doing light exercise or stretching in the morning.
P: Yeah. Yep, yep, yep.
M: So, if you can fit 15 minutes, just 15 minutes and make this a happiness habit during your morning routine, it can set you up for a great, great day.
P: It so works.
M: Light exercise can be just walk around the block or having a good stretch in the sun.
P: Mmm, yep.
M: Something to get your blood pumping and your body moving.
P: Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.
M: There are so many studies and so much research.
P: It just so works. I found this when I was dancing, and I joined a company in Brisbane. And I had this beautiful apartment that had a 180-degree view over the Brisbane skyline and I would wake up and I’d spend 45… I started with 20 minutes, it ended up being 60 minutes because I had this beautiful view and I’d do 60 minutes of yoga. And then walk down to Brumbies and get a loaf of bread and comeback.
M: So last week I was like, Okay, I’m sick of bailing on the gym. I really need to do better.
P: Laugh.
M: I’m going to wake up an hour earlier and go the gym. Which is in my building complex, it is that easy to go to, laugh.
P: You have two…
M: I have no excuses at all!
P: Laugh!
M: For not going to the gym.
P: Laugh.
M: And I set my alarm an hour earlier… And then snoozed.
P: Laugh.
M: Not only did I set my alarm –
P: Oh, hang on. What was your alarm sound?
M: It told me what the weather was going to be today. It then told me what I had in my calendar for the day.
P: Yeah, I’d be asleep already. No, I’d be asleep already.
M: But it was a good 10 minutes babbling away at me.
P: Laugh, and you just laid there.
M: And I was like ‘Ahh, I can’t do this!’
P: Laughter!
M: It was still dark, it’s the middle of winter, it just didn’t happen.
P: Oh, laugh. See, I’m weird because middle of winter is when I do get up.
M: Ah, no.
P: I remember being in London and I would get up at five AM, walk to the gym and I would go running for 20 minutes and then do an hour of yoga.
M: Remember, I said, if it’s dark, my body, just my body clock doesn’t handle that. My body is in its ideal state when it wakes up to light.
P: Mmm.
M: And I wake up at 6 AM in the summer, but 7:30 in the winter –
P: Yeah.
M: – really happily and gladly. So, 6 AM is not the problem, it’s the light for me.
P: And I’m not a morning person, but I was five AM. It was pitch black, I’d walk to the gym in pitch black London winter, and I did that more consistently through winter than I did through summer.
M: Ok. You’re better than me, I get it.
P: Oh! It is not a judgement call. Harsh!
M & P: Laugh!
M: Well, for all of you other people are there who are better than me.
P: Laugh.
M: If you can fit 15 or 20 minutes of exercises or stretching into your morning again it’ll just set your body up physically for a good day.
P: Yeah, it does. Play with the dog. That’s where dogs come in great.
M: Kids!
P: Kids get you out of bed.
M: Yeah.
P: I tell my clients my clients this, get on the floor and play with your Children. It is so healthy for you and so good for you. And if they’re up at 5.30 AM going Mum, mum, mum!
M: Then don’t yourself. You can’t actually hit snooze on your kids.
P: No, you can try?
M: Laugh.
P: They might slap you back one day.
M: We are not advocating for violence.
P: Laugh. Right. Moving on, number 4. I like this one.
M: Mmm hmm.
P: Put away your smartphone. Put away your device. Do not reach for your phone first thing in the morning.
Now, I will quote a very known talk by a… I have to get this right*. He is an army General, and he was giving a valedictorian speech at his university and he talked about the importance of making your bed, first thing in the morning.
*See Show notes above
M: Of course an army General would say that!
P: But, no. He was really good.
M: Complete with the… what do they call the corners? hospital corners?
P: Yep. So, he talked about the fact that making your bed first thing in the morning is more than just doing what you’re told to do. It sets you up for achieving the first task of the day. Now, what I like about this is that you’re waking up and your first thought doesn’t go to, ‘I need to grab my phone, I need to check my emails’ because your phone goes off during the night and people, especially if you’ve got overseas friends, they’re posting to you.
M: Yeah.
P: So, if you reach for your phone first thing in the morning, you could spend 5 to 10 minutes scrolling because –
M: You could spend 30 minutes to an hour scrolling.
P: Okay, all right, some people do it more than me, laugh.
M: A lot of people are.
P: All right, Ok. So, this is a normal thing. Most people go through their phone first thing in the morning, have a lie in bed scrolling.
M: A lot of people reach for their phone to turn off their alarm and get suckered by what’s on the screen there.
P: Yep, yep.
M: And if you’ve ever seen there’s a great Netflix documentary called ‘The Social Dilemma.’
P: Oh yes, yes.
M: Which talks about how phones are there to give you dopamine hits, they’re there to suck you in. It’s like gambling or drinking first thing in the morning for an addict.
P: Yep. Imagine that. Imagine waking up and having a poker machine next to your bed and going straight to it.
M: Yep.
P: That is what you are doing with your smartphone.
M: And that is what so many people around the world are doing. And not only that you are handing away your control of how you start your day.
P: Yeah.
M: You’re allowing your phone to dictate whether you’re seeing your ex’s photos of their wedding.
P: Yes.
M: Or…
P: That is not a happy morning.
M: No, it’s not.
P & M: Laugh.
M: Save that for lunchtime when you’ve already had a coffee or something, like Jeez.
P: When you could throw something at some one.
M & P: Laugh.
M: Yep.
P: Again, we are not advocating violence.
M: So, again a lot of these activities… So, we have said:
- Get eight hours of sleep.
- Start with a happy alarm music.
- Do some light exercise or stretching; and definitely
- Put away your smartphone.
M: A lot of the most successful people in the world time and time again have a morning routine, and it does not include scrolling aimlessly on social media. Now there’s a time and place for that.
P: Definitely, sure.
M: But first thing in the morning just sets you down the wrong path, and it gives control of your a day and your thoughts over to someone else already takes it out of your control.
P: Yes, absolutely. It’s already imprinting on your subconscious of things that you should be doing or that you don’t have.
M: Yep. And like you were saying with the army General [navy Admiral], this about taking control of the start of your day.
P: Make your bed!
M: Make your bed, do some stretching, whatever works for you.
P: Mmm hmm.
M: Again, back to Sonja Lyubomirsky who doesn’t gratitude journaling herself, even though she knows how beneficial it is.
P: Laugh.
M: Take control of your day. For me, what I find passion in is writing. And so, I always spend time every morning writing.
P: Mmm, nice. So, I used to be an exercise person first thing in the morning. But since studying, I’ve actually found that I’m really good at sitting down at a desk and doing a bit of reading first thing in the morning. I’m sharp.
M: Focus work.
P: I’m on. Yeah, yeah, it’s really good and the other thing that I’ve noticed as well, and this is backed up by some nutritional advice, a segway here, don’t have a coffee first thing. Have something else before you have your first coffee, because your cortisol levels are hugely high when you first wake up. Your body starts producing cortisol 60 minutes to 30 months before you wake up, so there’s a big spike in your cortisol levels to get everything going. To, get your systems ready for what’s about to come.
If you throw caffeine in the mix with that, apparently it’s a really bad combination. So, something like lemon water, hot lemon water is a really good thing to have before you have anything, even food, even glucose can be something that’s too much first thing.
M: And I’ll add in, if you’re trying to lose weight, that’s an even better way. It’s a win-win.
P: Oh, yeah.
M: Putting a big cup of water into your belly.
P: Yep.
M: Helps you not over-eat.
P: Yeah, exactly.
M: All right, we’re going to move and quickly talk about our last one, which is expressing gratitude.
P: Oh, we talk about this all the time.
M: The final thing to start your day in a happy mood. Again, we’ve talked about positive affirmations. We’ve talked about gratitude. Both of them are training your brain to create those positive associations and also, you know, if you’re particularly focused on the negative, you’re training your brain, you’re creating those neurons, those highways where negative thought is repeated. This is about creating the positive thought highways in your brain.
P: Yep, train your brain to see the positive. We are negatively geared. We look for the negative because that’s our evolutionary mind map. But if you can train that positive ‘Oh my God, it’s so works!’
M: Absolutely.
P: It’s so good for you.
M: Wake up in the morning and do your light exercise and stretching while thinking of things that you’re grateful for, or that you appreciated, that were good with your day the day before, or even looking forward. Three things you’re looking forward to in the next week.
P: Yes.
M: Really easy.
P: You can set that up in the night before. You could put a post it note on your mirror in your bathroom of the positive thing. And so that’s the first thing you see in the morning.
M: Yep. The other thing here, if we’re you know being science led.
P: Ooh!
M: A study by Emmons and McCullough, who are big in this space, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, showed that participants who kept a Gratitude Journal, weekly for 10 weeks or daily for two weeks, experienced more positive moods, optimism about the future and better sleep.
P: Oh.
M: So, it’s all circular. So not only are you going to wake up more rested, you’ll start your day better as well.
P: What a lovely thought.
M: Yes, great way to end. But I do have one more thing to throw in here because it is something that I have started adding to my mornings. I do 60 seconds of laughter yoga in front of the mirror in the morning.
P: Laugh.
M: And for me this is like the sky diving of happiness.
P: Laugh! Wheee!
M: This is me saying, I’m not just committing to a good day. I’m living my life!
P: Oh, yes!
M: And choosing, choosing to love my life every day and of course things go wrong. Don’t get me wrong.
P: Yep.
M: Doesn’t mean I finished the day with laughter, laughter yoga mindset.
P: Laugh.
M: But this is this is fully choosing and empowering myself to experience life. I hope you will have happy beginnings of your days for the next week.
[Happy exit music – background]
M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.
P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.
M: Until next time.
M & P: Choose happiness.
[Exit music fadeout]
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