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How to change your mindset with this simple Best Possible Self exercise

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What is the Best Possible Self Exercise? 

When I first started exploring the world of positive psychology, I admit I was a huge cynic. I didn’t understand the science behind the bright t-shirt slogans that yelled “Choose Happiness!” and I railed against ‘toxic positivity’ and perceived band aid solutions to deep mental health issues.  

Years later, after interviewing dozens of global experts and reading countless peer-reviewed research articles, after studying and gaining certifications, and after podcasting and writing on the topic of happiness every week, I admit there are some topics that still make me sceptical. Granted, the list is quite short now, and although these truly are scientifically proven to increase life satisfaction, when it comes to meditation, mindset exercises and positive affirmations, they’re just not for me.  

Having said that, as an author and blogger, I cannot deny the power of writing or journaling. Writing helped me to not only recover from depression and trauma. It also helped me discover the power of positive psychology and a love of life. That’s why I’m happy to be exploring the Best Possible Self exercise this week, one of the most widely used Positive Psychology Interventions – even though it really boils down to being a mindset exercise but in long-form writing. But as with all topics on this site, it is science-backed and has been proven to help people be more optimistic and achieve a happier, healthier life. So, read on! 

What’s the Science? 

Time and time again, the personality trait of optimism has been shown to increase wellbeing, leading to greater physical wellbeing and even longevity. Optimists are happy people, who look forward to the future, and believe things will work out. That’s not to say that bad things don’t happen to them or that they don’t feel the appropriate negative feelings – like sadness, frustration or anger – because that is a natural and healthy response when things go wrong. Instead, optimists have a level of resilience that allows them to work through their feelings and move forward quickly. 

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” – John Lennon 

So, if optimism has so many benefits, then wouldn’t it be great if you could learn it? Well, you can. All it takes is the Best Possible Self exercise, which many researchers have studied and determined it can positively impact people’s mindset and increase optimism – leading to higher levels of mental and physical wellbeing. 

In one study, researchers asked participants to write about their best self across personal, relational, and professional dimensions for five minutes a day, over two weeks. They then measured the effects on optimism and mood after one day, one week and two weeks. The results showed that participants had significantly larger increases in optimism compared to people who simply wrote about daily activities, both after only one session and over two weeks.  

A second study, led by Sonja Lyubomirsky and colleagues, lasted four weeks and played with some factors to see what might detract from or amplify the results. Not surprisingly, the study supported previous research validating that the BPS exercise significantly boosted positive affect and flow. Additionally, they found that there was no difference in results when completing the exercise online versus in-person. However, students who read a testimonial about the benefits of BPS had the best gains in wellbeing compared to those who read neutral information or completed a control task. “The results lend legitimacy to online self-administered happiness-increasing activities and highlight the importance of participants’ beliefs in the efficacy of such activities for optimum results,” said the researchers.  

Convinced? Let’s get started! 

How to do the Best Possible Self Exercise 

Time: 10-15 mins per day for 2 weeks 

What you need: Pen and paper or journal 

This is a simple exercise that can have profound impacts. All you need to do is set aside 10-15 minutes a day for two weeks. Find somewhere quiet or peaceful to sit and write continuously about your imagined best possible future. Let all ideas come freely, don’t sensor anything… even bad grammar or spelling. Let it all out on paper. 

STEP 1: Block some time in your diary or calendar to dedicate to this activity over a 2-week period (or more). Lock it in so it happens! 

STEP 2: Decide how to organise what you want to write about. You can try social, health, academic and career, or personal, relational, and professional, or come up with your own dimensions.  

STEP 3: Sit somewhere quiet and distraction free. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes. 

STEP 4: Write on paper about your realistic best possible future self for each category. Imagine that you are happy and have all you want. You have worked hard, opportunities have presented themselves, and you have taken them. You have achieved all that you imagined possible. Think about the steps that would be needed to get there, and how you would feel making that positive progress. When painting your ideal future, be as specific as you can. Who would be there with you? What would you be doing? How would you do it? What would you see, hear, taste, smell? Be descriptive and imaginative and really put yourself into a day in the life of your best possible future self. 

STEP 5: Repeat the exercise the next day, and the next, and the next. Stick with it for at least 2 weeks.  

Before you go: Final Words of Caution 

Be realistic: You may be tempted to write about a future in which you win the lottery or marry your (already married) high-school sweetheart. Be careful to be realistic about your best possible future self. If you spend too much time wanting something that simply cannot happen, then it can often have negative mental health impacts. 

Focus on the future: Similarly, make sure you stay focused on the future. Another trap is to spend too much time worrying about what you did or didn’t do in the past that will prevent your best possible future self from being realised.   

That’s it. Happy writing! 

Want to make happiness a habit in your life? Simply subscribe to the Happiness for Cynics podcast and my email newsletter for your weekly dose of happiness!   

Want the science? Check out these studies 

King, A. (2001). The health benefits of writing about life goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, 798-807.  

Layous, K., Nelson, S. K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2013). What is the optimal way to deliver a positive activity intervention? The case of writing about one’s best possible selves. Journal of Happiness Studies, 14(2), 635-654.  

Meevissen, Y., Alberts H., & Peters, M. (2011). Become more optimistic by imagining a best possible self: Effects of a two-week intervention. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry. 42, 371-378 

Carrillo, A., Rubio-Aparicio, M., Molinari, G., Enrique, Á., Sánchez-Meca, J., & Baños, R. M. (2019). Effects of the Best Possible Self intervention: A systematic review and meta-analysis. PloS one, 14(9). 

Finding Flow (E93)

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Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week Marie and Pete talk about finding your flow and the wonderful benefits it can give you on your journey to true happiness.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background] 

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.  

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.  

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.  

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny. 

[Intro music fadeout] 

M: Welcome back.

P: I’m in a recumbent position and I’m not moving.

M: Laugh. Pete’s sitting, his legs crossed and his arm above his head.

P: I’ve been told that I’m not allowed to move because I make too much noise, laugh!

M: He does, our poor production people.

P: Laugh!

M: Person, sorry.

P & M: Laughter.

P: Yeah, we have a team.

M & P: Laughter.

M: Yes, Pete has a habit of scratching furiously –

P: Laugh.

M: – jingling his bracelets, clicking his fingers.

P: Laugh, I just like to express myself every now and then get myself into a mode and I like to let everybody know how I’m feeling.

M: Laugh. And by every now and then, you mean every two minutes.

P & M: Laughter.

P: If you’re wondering what we’re talking about. We’re talking about how to do a radio interview properly and how you have to sit with your hands on the table feet apart.

M: You should plant yourself in a position where – See he’s already just running his hands over his leg. Laugh.

P: I like touching things I can’t help it!

M & P: Laughter!

M: Very tactile, laugh.

P: You want people to be relaxed and be able to respond during an interview. So, for those of us who are more physically inclined.

M: Then we’d probably get you to stand in front of a mic that’s fixed.

P: Ahh…

M: So that you can’t touch things or bang things –

P: That wouldn’t work for me. Laugh.

M: – or just stay put! Well, for those of you who listen to our show, we hope you find the [background noise] …noise that is constant. Laugh. Pete just dropped a pillow.

P: Laugh. I did not!

M: We hope you find it charming, not amateurish.

P: Laugh, it’s something new every week that people can enjoy.

M: Laugh. All right, well, today we are actually exploring our full range of emotions, and it is not such a happy day today because we are sad to say that Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has passed away at the age of 87.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: So, he’s a Hungarian-American psychologist, and we started out really early by looking at his work on flow, didn’t we, Pete?

P: Mmm. He was the first person that I remembered because I had to remember his name.

M: Laugh.

P: Had to learn how to say it.

M: We spent a lot of time drilling in Csikszentmihalyi, Csikszentmihalyi, Csikszentmihalyi.

P: Laugh.

M: And for those of you who you think that’s only four syllables, I think there’s like 20 letters, though. [16 letters]

P: Yeah, there was an alphabet.

M: Laugh.

Csikszentmihalyi was Hungarian-American, and he was known for his work in the study of happiness and creativity. He was really a pioneer in the positive psychology space, and in particular he introduced flow theory in the seventies, and he defined flow as a state of mind attained when one becomes fully immersed in an activity.

P: He was a real ground breaker, though I can’t imagine many people in the seventies who weren’t living in communes and going around and burning their bras.

M: Remember, he came from Hungary to the States in 1956.

P: Mmm.

M: So, he would have been living through World War II prior to that.

P: Yeah. It makes his ideas and his brain even more amazing.

M: Absolutely.

P: Chicago’s a pretty, pretty liberal kind of place. It has got some great minds and some really broad thinking people there.

M: Yep.

P: But in the seventies, he was in San Francisco. This person would have gone around going, “I want to talk about flow.” Laugh. Can you imagine what these academics?

M: Laugh.

P: I mean, this is exactly what the podcast is about. It’s about the cynical brain, and I just think someone who is that ground breaking, who could go, “I’m going to explore this and I’m going to pursue it with research.”

M: Mmm hmm.

P: That’s amazing conviction.

M: I think that a lot of people, you know, Viktor Frankl is another great example of someone who, so he wrote Man’s Search for Meaning and he spent a lot of his time researching what makes people happy and he lived through the camps.

P: Yeah, mmm.

M: So, I think Csikszentmihalyi – Pete’s changing chairs.

P & M: Laugh.

M: His knees are cracking.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Now Csikszentmihalyi, I don’t believe it was in the camps, but I do believe he was [affected].

P: Mmm.

M: He lived through World War II and was definitely impacted by it. And I think that led a lot of people to want to study psychology.

P: And the meanings and reasons behind why people behave in a certain way, yes.

M: And what matters in life. Just like over the last 18 months, a lot of people around the world during the pandemic have reassessed their lives and what is and isn’t important.

P: Mmm, yes. Hugely.

M: Yeah, so whereas you and I have planted gardens, Csikszentmihalyi dedicated his life to helping other people understand what brings happiness. He developed this theory of flow and received a lot of awards and an external recognition for that and spent a lot of time in universities teaching others about how to live life.

P: Mmm, yeah again that would have been a ground-breaking area of development.

M: And the field of positive psychology was really new then.

P: Yeah, yeah, certainly in it’s infancy.

M: And he was not only a pioneer in flow, but more broadly positive psychology and really helped the movement gain traction more broadly and with the public.

P: Yeah, yeah. So, for those who may not have heard our previous episode on this. Marie, what is flow?

M: Flow.

P: Yeah.

M: Flow, F – L – O – W, not Flo down the road.

P: Laugh. She makes the best pumpkin scones, I swear.

M: Laugh. Or not ‘flow’s come to town.’

P: Laugh.

M: Which is such an Aussie –

P: Laugh.

M: – saying. I’m not going to explain for our overseas listeners –

P: Laugh!

M: – what that means.

P: Laugh. Australian colloquialisms.

M: Let’s just say it happens once a month for most women.

P: Laugh.

M: So, what it [flow] means is that you’re completely focused on the task at hand, to the point that you forget about yourself and others and about the world around you.

P: Mmm.

M: So, you might lose track of time. But it doesn’t matter because you’re so engrossed in your activity and so happy in the moment.

P: Mmm. We’ve talked about it being a state of presence and a real mindfulness.

M: It’s this weird dichotomy where you’re so in the moment that you’re unaware of what’s happening around you.

P: Yes.

M: So, I’ve got a quote here from Csikszentmihalyi. So, he says,

“Contrary to what we usually believe, the best moments in our lives and not the passive receptive, relaxing times, although such experiences can also be enjoyable if we’ve worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body your mind, is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”

P: So, it’s those things that you remember when you’re reflecting on something from 10 years ago or when you’re maybe in a stressful situation and you’re recalling that ‘No, I’m sure I can do this, I remember back in 1982 when I did that’, and I was in that moment. Is that kind of what flow does? It makes, it builds a little bit of resilience maybe it builds a little bit of a marker for us to rely on in future times?

M: I guess it does in the sense that if you’re looking at not giving up.

P: Mmm.

M: Or using your passion to dedicate time to building skills or depth of understanding, I guess from that point of view you could use it. But I think more than that, it’s the pleasure it brings in the moment. Just like mindfulness has been proven scientifically to help with happiness levels. It’s about being deeply engrossed in something and flow, similar to meditation, has the same types of impacts on the brain.

P: Mmm.

M: The same types of positive impacts and visualisation during flow can give similar results to when people are meditating. So, really, it’s about creating an environment where you can just follow your passion down a rabbit hole.

P: Laugh, be like Alice!

M & P: Laugh!

P: Follow the White Rabbit.

M: Exactly, follow the white rabbit and come out the other side, and you’ll feel proud and satisfied of what you’ve done that day versus eight hours on the couch Netflixing.

P: Mmm.

M: Which as Csikszentmihalyi says here can also be enjoyable.

P: Right, but in a different way?

M: Exactly. Or, you know, if you’ve worked really hard for a holiday and you just want to lay on the beach for a few days, that can be a good experience, and definitely we need that kind of rest as we’ve discussed before.

P: Yep.

M: But flow is a different type of… I won’t say rest, but it can be equally as satisfying and equally as positive to your mental health.

P: It’s kind of like a way of tapping into that well spring of positivity. For those who are maybe a little bit obsessive compulsive or much more active people, people like yourself who might struggle with meditation. This is another way of accessing those benefits.

M: Yeah.

P: In a very different format. You can be as neurotic as you want about getting the grout out of the bathroom if you really want to if that’s your flow.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: It’s much more in touch with… mindfulness with activity? Is that a fair call?

M: Yeah, I’d say so. And it’s about also achieving things. So many people read Marie Kondo’s book or watched her on Netflix and got to packing their T shirts in those little tepee things in the drawers.

P: Laugh.

M: You know what I’m talking about, laugh. I know you do.

P: Laugh!

M: And you know that was lockdown activity number one. Let’s go through and spring clean and de-clutter everything. And a lot of people really took a lot of satisfaction from spring cleaning their places during lockdown.

P: Yep.

M: So absolutely, you can apply it to many different things.

P: Laughter!

M: For me, it’s writing so I can start writing and look up hours later and the sun has gone down.

P: Yeah. When you’re in that moment, and it’s kind of really special because it doesn’t happen very easily. It doesn’t happen all the time, not every time do you sit down to write does it happen. It’s got to be –

M: Sadly, no.

P & M: Laugh.

P: – the right atmosphere, the sun is going to be in the right position, you know a butterfly has to have flapped its wings in Tokyo.

M: Mmm hmm, laugh.

P: You know. All that sort of stuff, laugh.

M: And there’s a great quote by Margaret Thatcher, and she says,

“Look at a day when you’re supremely satisfied at the end of it. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing. It’s a day when you’ve had everything to do, and you’ve done it.”

P: Mmm.

M: So, it’s like the satisfaction of ticking that last item off your to do list and then closing your laptop down on a Friday afternoon.

P: Yes, laugh.

M: Being like, ‘Yes! it’s the weekend.’

P: Laugh, it’s 5:03.

M: Laugh. Eh… Four o’clock.

P & M: Laugh!

M: Now, I’ll watch some Ted talks, laugh. Hang out here till the boss isn’t watching.

P & M: Laugh.

P: They’ve already been down at the pub for three hours.

M: Laugh! So, really, what we’re talking about. And, we mentioned this, I think it was episode five that we first talked about flow.

What is Flow and How to Find it (E5)

P: Yes, it was right at the beginning.

M: Yes, before you were studying and we’re throwing out scientific terms at us, left, right and centre.

P: Laugh.

M: We discussed the default Mode Network, or DMN.

P: Yes.

M: Where all your autopilot/default activities happen.

P: Yeah.

M: And so, to explain that term before we move on. So, as kids, everything is new and we’re constantly learning. And as we get older, things become more of the same, and as a result, our brains don’t need to try as hard.

P: Yes.

M: And they instead operate in the default mode network. So that’s when you’re on autopilot. But when you’re in a state of flow, just like when we’re experiencing awe, we move from the autopilot part of our brains to the learning and inspiration part.

So, it’s about switching from wake up, feed the kids, have a shower, brush your teeth, get out the door, get on your public transport, get to work. It’s about switching off that default mode network and that do this every day and switching on –

P: Yeah, it’s almost passive in a way, isn’t it?

M: Yeah, switching off the passiveness and switching on the engagement, the excitement.

P: OH MY GOD THAT’S A RED PEN ON THE FLOOR! Laugh!

M: Laugh, right? Imagine going back to Disneyland for the first time every day?

P: Ooohhh!!!!!

M: Right? That’s what you’re trying to tap into that wonder and awe.

P: Yeah.

M: Awe is another one as well. You know, for me, the moment that really brings back memories of awe was first seeing Taj Mahal. I imagine if I went back, I wouldn’t have that same feeling.

P: It’s divine, mmm.

M: Yep, it is. It’s about trying to find ways to tap into that again, and you can actually do that. And so maybe we can move forward with ways to bring more flow into your life and deliberately put into practise. Because there are… Oh, God, we’re sounding old now, 50 years of research now, thanks to Csikszentmihalyi on this topic. Since it first came out in the seventies.

P: Yeah, wow.

M: First one, Get rid of the bloody mobile phones.

P: Yes! I’m fully on board for that one. Put it down. Put it in a drawer. And where I first went with this idea is give yourself time.

M: Yep.

P: Give yourself some time to experience flow, set some time in a diary and go ‘this is my flow hour.’ You might not get there but give yourself an hour to explore it.

M: Absolutely. And to do that,

P: Uninterrupted.

M: Yes, it needs to be uninterrupted. So, if you’re sharing a house with someone else, maybe try going to sit in the park.

P: Mmm.

M: Or go to the library.

P: Yep.

M: Those things still exist.

P: Laugh.

M: I know we get all our content online nowadays, but libraries have really evolved quite a bit.

P: I think they’ve done a remarkable job of remaining current and appropriate in the digital age.

M: Mmm hmm. Absolutely. So, go find somewhere quiet and turn off your phone. Put it on silent or leave it another room to stop you checking it because the other thing we do with our phones is if they’re within hands reach in that moment when we’re switching thinking from one idea to the next, we reach for the phone. We go ‘I wonder if anyone’s messaged, I wonder if I’ve gotten an email’ and it’s about not doing that and letting the ideas flow from one to the next, not interrupting that thinking.

P: Mmm and that’s a training thing as well, doing that repeatedly actually makes it an easier state. You don’t get distracted by the technology quite as often.

M: Mmm hmm. Even the technology that’s not on, right?

P: Laugh.

M: Because it’s just in arm’s reach. You turn it back on.

P: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

M: Okay, so number two, we kind of touched on this and they’re all interlinked, is get away from other people.

P: Laugh, have your moment.

M: Mmm hmm. If you’ve got kids, you know, the phone ringing, the TV blaring, you know our busy lives can just feel like one big interruption, and I know at work I have in the past really struggled with finding flow. And as someone who needs to do a lot of writing and thinking, it’s really difficult when you’re constantly being pinged on teams and messenger or whatever your platform is that your company uses to communicate and then you’ve got emails and then you’ve got your phone and it’s exhausting at times to never have that time to do deep work.

P: Mmm.

M: And meetings.

P: Laugh.

M: Oh my goodness, do we love a meeting in corporate world? So, it’s about blocking out time, and I do this now. So, three days a week, not every day but three days a week. I’ll block a two-hour block, and mostly I’m successful at protecting it. And I’ll close down my email and my messenger apps and then just do some work. And I find I come out the other side of that day so much more satisfied with myself.

P: Mmm, yep.

M: Absolutely. Because I’ve actually done some work that day.

P: Because you’ve given yourself the time and eliminated distractions.

M: Yep, and not only that, I do get work done in between meetings and multitasking and all the rest of it. But there’s nothing like the flow that comes from the two hours uninterrupted work.

P: Mmm, the quality. Yeah. And I find that even when I’m working with someone as a client, as a massage therapist, it’s very easy for me to cut out all the distractions. And people tend not to want to interrupt that space.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Unless they really, really have to. And it is. It’s lovely when I’m in there and I remember going back to when I first started professional work as a massage therapist, really easy for me to do 2.5 hour treatments because there wasn’t a time limit with certain clients and I could indulge and so I could actually –

M: How do I get a massage therapist like you?

P: Laugh! Get them when they’re young.

M & P: Laugh!

P: That’s all I can say, laugh! But it was that love. It was that lovely indulgence. And when you’re in that space, you can do some pretty amazing quality work because it builds one on top of the other. It’s that cumulative effect, if you like, of achievement. And, as you said, unlocking even more fabulousness from yourself.

M: Yeah, absolutely. So, the third thing is, find the right task that you can immerse yourself in. Folding the laundry doesn’t count.

P: Laugh. This comes back to our conversation about passion, I think.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Knowing what it is that gives you that flow. Or what activity is that you know you can achieve that state in.

M: Yep. So, Csikszentmihalyi says it needs to be sufficiently difficult without being overwhelmingly difficult or unachievable.

P: Yeah, yeah.

M: So, there’s got to be a challenge there to it. This is why study, is a good one.

P: Yep.

M: So, I don’t know… As someone who’s gone back to university whether you’ve experienced flow when studying.

P: Completely, yeah. Especially when I’m engaged with the content. You do, you look up and go, ‘Oh my god, it’s dark. Where’d the day go?’ Laugh.

M: But I will say both of us are quite similar. And where we go to with our flow activity is it is so subjective, though. So, just because we haven’t mentioned it today in this podcast doesn’t mean that… You know maybe riding a horse –

P: Yeah.

M: – is your thing. Trying to think of things that other people might, laugh.

P: Climbing a mountain.

M: Mmm.

P: Like going for a peak, for example? I mean, that’s very challenging, and that can be a flow moment.

M: Yep.

P: It means you’re doing it on your own, laugh!

M: Yeah, definitely. So, there are some ideas that we can give you. Well three in particular. So, if you’re looking for things to bring flow and also some other benefits as well, a lot of it can be found by doing things in a novel or new.

P: Mmm.

M: So, find inspiration by doing something new. So, sign up for a class or activity or course that’s a good one.

P: Yep.

M: Find inspiration by going somewhere new. So go for a mountain climb or get out of town. Even, what I love doing is getting on the hop on, hop off bus.

[Hop on Hop off Bus Tours – providing sightseeing tours on an open-top bus where you can hop on and off to explore it all at your own pace.]

P: Laugh.

M: Love it. And then find inspiration by meeting someone new. Oh, and having a conversation or sparking new ideas with people.

P: Which might lead to new activities, yeah. I like that.

M: Mmm hmm. Or you can try volunteering or joining a book club.

P: Putting yourself in flows way.

M: Yes.

P: Laugh.

M: Absolutely. All right, well, that’s all we have time for today. Again, so sad news today in the positive psychology community.

P: Yes.

M: But –

P: What a legacy to leave.

M: Yeah.

P: Yeah, I just think it’s such a fabulous thing. I was the inventor of flow and positive thinking. Thanks. Goodbye, laugh.

M: Peace out, mic drop.

P: Laugh.

M: Laugh. Alright, well on that note, wishing you a happy week with plenty of flow.

P: Chow

[Happy exit music – background] 

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic. 

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out. 

M: Until next time. 

M & P: Choose happiness.  

[Exit music fadeout] 

Please note that I get a small commission if you buy something from my site. Your support helps to keep this site going at no additional cost to you. Thanks! 

What is Flow and How to Find it (E5)

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Happiness for Cynics podcast – episode 5

Today we’re talking about flow, a concept made famous by one of the pioneers of positive psychology Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. Flow is about being truly engaged in the moment. Being in a state of flow means you’re completely focused on the task at hand, so happy in the moment that you forget yourself and the world around you.

Want more on flow? Check out our article on What is a State of Flow and How to Find it or download our infographic on finding flow.

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Transcription

M: You’re listening to the podcast happiness for cynics. I’m Marie Skelton, a writer and change and transformation expert, and my co-host is Peter Furness.

P: Hi there I’m Peter Furness Remedial Therapist, ex-performer and happiness junky. We aim to bring you the best in research and personal experience in topics that generate that state of happiness, which we all want to get more of. The 101 of how to get happy. Marie, you have the links to all this info on your website? Yes?

M: Yes. So you can find me at marieskelton.com and that’s a site about major life changes and transitions and how to cope with them. And the site uses a lot of the same research we talk about here on the podcast and has some really practical tips for bringing joy and happiness into your life. You can also find me on Twitter. My handle is @MarieSkelton. So on today’s episode, which is all about flow.

[Happy music]

M: Today we’re talking about flow, a concept made famous by one of the pioneers of positive psychology.

P: Here we go Muz, come on we know you can do this. [laugh]

M: A guy who happens to have 16 letters in his last name. So please forgive me if I miss-pronounce this Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

P: Oh well done Muz

[Laughter]

P: I’m not sure what nationality he is. He’s Jewish isn’t he?

M: He is and unfortunately… like so many others. Viktor Frankl would be another so many others who experienced the atrocities off the Second World War and the camps. A lot of people came out of that experience with a lot of questions about life, the meaning of life and happiness and, you know, why we’re here. So he is definitely one of the pioneers of the positive psychology field or movement, if you want to call it that. And he coined the term flow, and that’s what we’re talking about today.

P: What is Flow? We have a definition here.

One of the quotes from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is ‘The best moments in our lives and not the passive, receptive, relaxing times. The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.’

P: I think this is talking about that moment where you are so obsessed with a project or a performance or an article that you are in that lovely little zone that we all talk about where everything around you is extraneous and you’re not even thinking about your own personal life or anything like that.

It’s all about the task at hand.

M: To take it further it could be something actually quite mundane, but it’s about that moment when you lose time, right?

P: Yeah, there’s a couple of points in here where people talk about what/how to achieve a state of flow and of them is that you actually lose track of time, so I’ll get to the others here:

When you’re in a state of flow, you are completely focused on the task at hand; You forget about yourself, about others and about the world around you; You lose track of time; You feel happy and in control; and you are creative in the productive moment.

P: I particularly like that last one

M: [Laugh]

P: I feel like I have a particular authority on this one, being an ex-performance artist because that state of flow that state of complete obsession, where you are completely in that little shimmering moment it’s kind of the focus of the performing artist. It’s what you train for so that you don’t have to think about putting your foot in a certain position or holding the violin in that certain way. That’s all trained into you. You practise so much so that when we come to perform, you completely immerse yourself in that performance and you go with the flow.

M: Yeah, I don’t agree with you there Pete

P: Oh excellent! I like it when we don’t agree, this is where we get good.

[Laughter]

M: Absolutely and being an ex-athlete, I completely understand. With training so that your body remembers without you having to put thought and effort into remembering. So I get that, the moment as an athlete where you’re on and everything is working and it flows. I get that, for me flow as Mihaly talks about it in the positive psychology arena is completely separate from necessarily being a creative or sporting endeavour and the best moments of flow for me have been at work, and I think that everyone around the world can achieve flow and get the satisfaction that that rings.

P: Yes

M: And it’s not just for the elite few who are dancers, performers, athletes, et cetera. It’s something that people should be striving to bring into their lives in general because it comes with so many benefits. So, like last week when we spoke about awe bringing benefits, the science behind this one is again, like with awe and like with the default mode network or DMN that we spoke about when your mind’s on autopilot, we spend most of our time in that space, whereas flow brings you out of that space just like a awe does, and so does meditation for some people. It brings you out of that space into a less ego-centric space. And there’s some real positive benefits to your sense of satisfaction with life that come from that.

P: Definitely, I could definitely support that and I don’t mean to say that you have to be an elite athlete or anything to experience that level of flow and just to qualify what I said in terms of capturing that it doesn’t always happen in performance. And I guess for me because my dancing was my work, that was my work. So it’s exactly the same I achieved in work, but it didn’t always happen on stage sometimes it happened in class. As a dancer you walk into the studio, the first hour of your dance day is spent doing as a contemporary or classical dancer you do class every day. And it’s incredibly indulgent way to start the morning because it’s all about you. You walk into that space and the teacher or ballet mistress or whoever it is that’s taking the class, starts an exercise and you lock in and off you go and that could be  [laugh] a slight negative because having that attitude being all about you. “Don’t talk to me before I go to class!”, so I would get there 45 minutes before class and do my little warm up and people are coming in, and it’s like “No, I’m in the corner you don’t come near me’, particularly in a small group of people. There’s about seven people in this company. And you don’t come in and start chatting straightaway, I would have my earphones on and be in downward dog or whatever I chose to do and you don’t come near me. And then that carries through into the class a little bit, where we’re standing next to each other and sweating. No talking. This is my class. This is all about me.

[Laughter]

P: So that aside again it brings into play the focus. So where you sharpen that focus and you exclude the outside world. It brings you into that state where flow can happen, and I have had experiences in the past where you do, you come out of a class and it’s just a normal class it’s something you do every day but you’re like “OMG that was amazing!” and then you think there’s no way I can reproduce that, I can’t reproduce that, or I hope I get to reproduce that and that’s an interesting subtext in there about this concept of flow is how do you hang onto it you and in a way like everything Zen you can’t hold onto it you’ve just got to try to aim for it again.

M: I think the research shows you can create the environment that enables you to find it.

P: Yeah, you can create the environment but you’re not guaranteed on finding it each time. And that’s where the discipline comes of trying to tap in to/creating that environment where the flow can happen. But it might happen today. It might not happen tomorrow. You can’t want that and go “well I’ve got the environment ready why isn’t it happening, come on this is supposed to happen now. You can’t necessarily predict that, or expect that to be… again expectation come into it, expect that to be the result.

M: Yep and I think the way that the workplace has changed in the way that society and the world is changing with, you know the pinging of our social media and our phones and open office plans where people can walk past even if they’re not actually coming up and talking to you, in an office they can walk past and they’re in your peripheral. And so your ability to have a few hours of uninterrupted thinking time where you put your brain to solving a problem or two, doing work is, it’s so much harder to find that nowadays –

P: – in a corporate environment

M: in a corporate environment but also at home, if you’ve got kids, you’ve got your phone on, there’s so much technology and so many demands on our time right now. And I think you nailed it when you’re talking about your mornings and telling everyone to leave you the f – alone.

[Laughter]

M: It’s one of the key things that you need to do to find flow.

It is: Stop the distractions. Right?

So it is definitely a moment for you, with you.

P: Yes, I like that. For you, with you.

M: Yeah, that you need to protect in order to ever get anywhere near that and for me I find writing, I can definitely find flow, and I’ll look up and the suns set. [Laugh]

P: Oh yeah.

M: and ‘Oh, where did the day go’ [Laugh] and I’ve been really lucky recently to have some time out of the corporate world to explore other projects, and I’ve been finding flow left, right and centre. I’d like to call them rabbit holes normally.

[Laughter]

M: I’ve been learning/just recently watched a blog as you know we mentioned the beginning of the show and I’ve been learning about search engine optimisation and about security of my site and the information there and Ecommerce, and I can find that I’ll go down that rabbit hole and be learning and applying this information and again I’ll look up and 10 hours later, I forgot to have lunch and I’m really busting to go to the loo [Laugh] you know, where did the day go? I think that it comes from me having an environment here at home where I’m working where, you know, apart from my cat who will vomit (in previous episodes as well), I have a calm environment, where I can sit on my balcony, feel the sun and not be interrupted for hours and hours  on end.

P: And as you say it’s easy when you can create the environment to do that. It is harder to achieve that status flow when you are in a communal environment for example. However, I think sometimes it’s easy to access it if you can control certain elements. I remember when I was writing my major essay for my degree, I actually went into cafes to write. It was the thing I had to write about had to do with café culture, so I was actually sitting in cafes and writing essays. But that controlling mechanism was to have earphones on, have music playing, and it doesn’t have to be Mozart or these things that everyone say about taping into the creative it can just be a drone, but that drone can create a sound barrier which sharpens the focus. The other thing is coffee.

[Laughter]

P: If I can have a coffee in front of me, it was like right I’m engaged and I am engaged in the activity at hand and it brings me into that focus and I could go for about an hour, hour and a half just with that moment. And the owners of the café were probably thinking ‘Is he going to order anything? Get out of the way, we’ve got lunch service coming up.’

[Laughter]

P: I think if you could control certain elements of the environment, you can harness that flow and like any good activity you form a habit. The more you do it, the more you can take control of certain elements the more you can pull yourself into that space where flow can happen.

M: Yeah, absolutely. There’s a great app, just a circle back with what you’re saying. There’s great app called Coffitivity, which a lot of writers probably already know. Rather than playing Mozart the app plays indistinct coffee shop noises. So there’s a murmur of voices, but you can never quite work out what they’re saying. You can’t actually wrap your head around a word. There’s people talking and there’s coffee cups chinking –

P: – It’s like that scene out of Madagascar “Someone left the ambiance on!” and they turn it off and it’s just the sound of NY City in the background.

M: [Laugh]

P: So why flow? Why have flow?  

M: Why have flow. You know it was like as I was saying before it’s, it’s like awe and meditation. It gets you out of that autopilot part of our brain and into using and engaging, the key word there is engaging, with the world in a really deep way.

So, apart from the satisfaction of spending time on a task and completing a task, it also increases your productivity. So we all know whether we believe it or not, or whether we follow it or not. But if your phones constantly pinging and you’ve got people saying, Mom, what’s for dinner and phone rings and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Whatever it is that you’re doing is constantly being interrupted is not going to be the most efficient use of your time. Your productivity won’t be at its peak because of those interruptions, so flow optimises your productivity and from that you get a huge amount of satisfaction, so it reduces stress, you enjoy yourself more when you’re lost in that task, you get things done obviously, and you achieve things.

P: I’m going to jump in there with a slightly different take on that. Some of the research that I’ve been reading from people like Nelson and Rawlings from the Oxford Academic journal, University of Maryland. They talk about floating a very Zen concept. So bringing Zen concept of mindfulness into play. It’s about harnessing your immediate focus and training yourself to be perfectly in the moment, sharpening your mind and your focus to rid yourself of extraneous thought and basically filtering out the noise. I can see you formulating an idea here Marie and I can see we are going to disagree again, I love it!

[Laughter]

M: I got nothing.

P: WeII, It’s funny because these guys also talk about Zen practice is taking the rational and intellectual mind out of the mental loop. So that’s why you [disagree] because you’re so rational and intellectual. [Laugh]

M: No, no, no, I fully agree with mindfulness. I just don’t think that it’s tied to flow.

P: Interesting.

M: I do not practise mindfulness. I find personally, and not that I don’t think that it has benefits. I just haven’t ever gone there. There’s limited time and too many things to do as we’ll discover when we get to Episode 557 of happiness.

[Laughter]

M: There’s so much that you can do in your life, and you do have to make choices for me my mindfulness comes from exercise in the gym and I get the mental resilience and mental peace and Zen centring from hard exercise.

P: There’s loads of schools of thought supporting, so we’ll look into that.

M: And that’s me and if I didn’t do exercise or couldn’t do exercise or didn’t want to do exercise maybe I’d try and find that mental centring from meditation or any of that kind of thing. So mindfulness and being mindful in the moment and being focused. Absolutely, I agree with. Meditation. Haven’t, haven’t gone down that route and I guess to circle back to your original statement, I find flow often and regularly when I can just tackle a difficult task that I know I can do. So it can’t be too difficult where I’m overwhelmed with and give up, but something where I can tackle a difficult task and do it.

P: Yeah, and that taps into another quote by Csikszentmihalyi regarding flow and its, I like this, ‘when your skill level and the challenge at hand are at an equal level.’

And I think that that is something that everyone can tap into

M: So there’s one other thing that I do want to mention and it’s the idea with flow of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation and Mihaly again talks about, about this. So there’s a great book out there [a] couple years old now called ‘Drive’ by Daniel H. Pink. He talks about motivation and motivation one point o [1.0] was: me hungry, me eat, you know, cave man; drive two point o [2.0], which is very much how a lot of corporate is still set up is: I will pay you, you will do things.

P: [Laugh] Yep

M: You will want to do things, right? Your motivation is tied to, you know, or Pavlov’s dog, I’ll give you food so you’ll go do stuff. What Dan argues in his book is that we’re far more complex beings than that.

P: [Laugh]

M: There isn’t such a one on one relationship with motivation and drive and flow is a great example. I’m not getting paid for my blog at the moment. You know, I’m very excited that there’s people out there who want to read it and not just my mom.

P: [Laugh]

M: But I have great satisfaction and find flow often in writing and researching those articles, and it’s an intrinsic motivation that is driving me to do that. It is not the possibility of being paid for it because that doesn’t exist right now. And so there’s an intrinsic part of this flow you’ve got to want to dive into the task your performing.

P: You have to be invested –

M: – personally, and it can’t be others that are telling you to do it. So the second you lose your love for dance you’re not going to find your flow.

P: Exactly. Yeah definitely.

M: You’re not going to be productive and happy all of a sudden in your job. If you hate your job and you’re only there because it gives you a wage.

P: Yeah, absolutely. I see that all the time actually.

M: Yep. Absolutely. All right. We’re running low on time, so we should probably wrap up. But I’d be really interested in hearing from our audience on this one. What do you think, Pete?

P: How to harness flow. How do we do it? When have you achieved it? And How? Have a think about it.

M: Write into the podcast and we will have a read, maybe next week of anything that’s come in. And I’d love to hear what it is that you’ve done over the next week and let us know what you did, whether you found flow. You know, maybe you shipped your kids off to the neighbours, told your husband to go out for beers or something. And what did you do? Was it cooking? Was it writing? How did you find flow in your day to day life? Let us know.

P: Nice, we’d love to hear from you.

M: All right. Well, that’s all we have time for today, as always thanks for joining us. If you want any more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast, we’ll see you next week.

P: See you next week, bye.

Meet besties Marie and Pete

Marie and Pete

Marie Skelton is an Australian writer, speaker, and change and resiliency expert. She started her career in journalism before working in public affairs and then specialising in organisational and culture change for some of the world’s largest tech and financial services companies, both in Australia and the U.S. She also played volleyball for Australia and on scholarship at a D1 university in the U.S. and she captained the NSW Women’s Volleyball team in the Australian Volleyball League.

Following a motorbike accident that nearly took her life, and leg, she began researching change and resiliency to find out how people cope with major life changes and why some people are really good at dealing with whatever life throws at them, while others struggle. She is passionate about mental health and writes about how to cope with today’s Change Storm and maintain mental wellness.  

Marie and Pete

Peter Furness is just plain awesome. He loves unicorns and champagne. Pete is the owner of Max Remedial, and a qualified remedial therapist and has worked all over the world with professional athletes, dancers, sporting organisations and medical professionals. Peter’s practice is influenced by his interest in Eastern philosophy and he works closely with Chinese and Ayurvedic practitioners, approaching the body from the principles of ancient medicine.

Peter has practiced Asstanga Yoga for 20 years and combines these principles with his approach to health.

Peter was also an award-winning contemporary dancer in Australia and in the UK. 

What is a State of Flow and How to Find it

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What is a State of Flow?

Flow is a concept made famous by one of the pioneers of positive psychology Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. Being in a state of flow means you’re completely focused on the task at hand, to the point that you forget about yourself, about others and about the world around you. You might lose track of time, but it doesn’t matter because you are so engrossed in your activity, so happy in the moment.

“Contrary to what we usually believe (…) the best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times—although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”

Mihály Csíkszentmihályi

There’s nothing better than spending a few hours in a state of flow to complete a task. The ability to focus on deep work and find distraction-free concentration can be hugely satisfying. It’s that feeling of having ticked a million things off your to-do list or finally sending your boss that huge presentation you’ve been working on.

Indeed, Csíkszentmihályi’s research has shown that people who experience a state of flow not only enjoy performing the task more, but they also have increased productivity and satisfaction, and reduced stress while increasing the quality of the output.

“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it’s a day you’ve had everything to do and you’ve done it.”

Margaret Thatcher

So, how does the state of flow work?

There’s a part of the brain called the Default Mode Network (DMN) where all your autopilot activities happen – you know those times you leave work and before you know it you’re home and you think, “wow I don’t really remember how I got home.” That’s when the DMN is running the show.

As kids, everything is new and we’re constantly learning. As we get older, things become more ‘the same’ and as a result our brains don’t need to try as hard, instead operating in the DMN. But when we’re in a state of flow, just like when we’re experiencing awe, we move from the autopilot part of our brains to the learning and inspiration part.

“Dampening DMN activity may be key to giving us a sense of self-transcendence. Other studies have found decreased DMN activity when participants entered a flow state, during meditation, and when participants under the influence of psychedelics experienced “ego dissolution,” according to Summer Allen a Research/Writing Fellow with UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.

In short, when we’re in a state of flow, we’re coming off autopilot and experiencing the world in a deeper and more meaningful way.

Three steps to put flow into practice

1. Get rid of technological distractions

To engage in truly deep work, you need to limit or eliminate interruptions and find a way to silence the change storm! So, turn off your phone, or put it on silent and leave it in another room (to stop you checking it!). If you’re working on your computer, be sure to turn off email notifications.

2. Get away from other people

From kids asking you questions, or the phone ringing, or the TV blaring, our busy lives can feel like one big interruption. Similarly, today’s modern office spaces are built to encourage collaboration, but often at the expense of deep work. So, let others around you know they’re not to disturb you for a set period of time and close the door. Or try to get out of the busy environment for a few hours, try the local library or a coffee shop with some noise cancelling headphones. If you’re at work, try to find a peaceful space alone, or if you’re one of the lucky few who can work from home, guard that privilege with your life!

3. Find a suitable task that you can immerse yourself in

One of the key requirements of the state of flow is that the task be sufficiently difficult, without being overwhelmingly difficult or unachievable. That perfect task will be completely subjective but it will often revolve around mastering a skill or task or completing a big task or project. Here are some activities that might inspire you.

Personally, I’ve been lucky to have the time to tackle quite a few projects that have given me flow lately. I recently launched a blog, and aside from writing, I’ve been reading and researching all about websites, web security, SEO and e-commerce and putting it all into practice. I’ve often looked up after a whole day of research and fiddling with my site to see the sun has gone down and my husband arrived home hours ago without me really registering it.

I hope you find your flow too.

Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi talks about flow at TED

Tell us. What activities do you do that help you to experienced flow?

Don’t forget to subscribe for our weekly blog.

Being Alone Can Make You Happier

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Introverts Rejoice – Being Alone Is Good For You

I’m an introvert. That’s not to say I’m not social or don’t have a lot of friends. It just means that I do everything in my power to find “me time.” I’m most wound-up after work, where I have been interacting with people all day in an open office environment. So, when I get home, the last thing I want to do is speak to people. Ideally, I would spend my entire evening alone with a book, or a TV show or a project. Every evening.

Introverts are energised from being alone. Extroverts are energised from being with people.

The problem is that between the pinging of my phone, expectations of friends and family, and realities of work and life, it’s a constant struggle. The world just isn’t built for introverts, and I feel the pressure to be present and available.

My story is not uncommon, estimates are that anywhere from 20-50 per cent of the population are introverts, or have some introverted tendencies or characteristics (if you prefer to think of introversion and extroversion on a sliding scale or spectrum).

The World Is Built For Social Interaction

It is well documented that social connection is important to happiness. Humans evolved from tight-knit families and hunter-gatherer groups, where being alone or separated from the group often led to death. In modern times, the importance of community remains.

So it stands to reason that much of the design of modern western society is geared to supporting and rewarding positive social connection. In sports and at work, the happy, outgoing, positive and popular people are given leadership positions, and the quiet achievers are often overlooked. The world is an extrovert’s playground, from large school classrooms to group projects at university and now open office environments.

For an introvert — someone who craves a quiet place to think and work — being successful in this world can be tough. It’s a never-ending juggling act of showing up and ‘being seen’ while constantly searching for opportunities to get away to recharge by yourself or get some quiet time.

This isn’t to say that (most) introverts don’t want or need to be around people, it’s just that we need more balance between time with and time without other people. Extroverts and introverts are all social beings, it’s just the degrees of contact that vary. And the science backs that up. Be social we’re told, it’s the key to happiness and helps prevents loneliness.

Extroverts – Not Only Introverts – Should Seek Alone Time

But does it hold true then, that all our time should be spent on social pursuits? And that we should never be unsocial?

It turns out the answer is no, and we may have been overlooking the benefits to being alone. In fact, the research shows that the introvert’s constant search for ‘me time’ could be making them happier and more creative.

Russian researchers Martin Lynch, Sergey Ishanov and Dmitry Leontiev have investigated the phenomenon of positive solitude, where people choose to spend time alone for contemplation, reflection or creativity. They found that being alone leads to more positive emotions, like relaxation and calm, and having a greater sense of pleasure and meaning.

A study discussed in Medical News Today also confirms that individuals who have balance between social interaction and periods of chosen isolation are highly  creative. The study found that being too shy or avoiding people is not good for individuals, but simply choosing to spend time alone isn’t a bad thing, in fact quite the opposite.

According to lead researcher, University of Buffalo’s Julie Bowker, some individuals spend more time alone than others, but also regularly spend time socialising. This group of individuals “may get just enough peer interaction so that when they are alone, they are able to enjoy that solitude. They’re able to think creatively and develop new ideas — like an artist in a studio or the academic in his or her office.”

Finally, it’s worth pointing out that for me, being alone also gives me a chance to unwind from stress and re-balance. It’s my personal form of mediation, minus the meditation. Working from home one day a week has helped with my resiliency, allowing me to cope better with a busy and often stressful world around me. It’s the day I am most productive and feel the most satisfaction with what I achieve throughout the week.

Being Alone Is NOT Feeling Lonely

A quick sidebar… to be clear, being alone is not the same as feeling lonely.

Being alone is a deliberate choice to spend time away from others in contrast with the unpleasant experience of feeling lonely, which can be detrimental to your health.

Over the last decade, there has been an increased focus on the dangers of loneliness. Brigham Young University researchers showed that social isolation increases premature death by 50 per cent. Loneliness is also associated with increased blood pressure, cholesterol levels and depression, and decreased cognitive abilities and Alzheimer’s disease.

More than that, in our modern society we’re learning that loneliness is not just a problem for older generations – who are more prone to suffering from isolation – it has also become an area of concern for the young. The Young Australian Loneliness Survey showed that loneliness is common among adolescents and young adults, a significant proportion reported problematic levels of loneliness. This included one in six adolescents (aged 12–17) and more than one in three young adults (aged 18–25).

It’s clear there is a global loneliness problem that we need to look into solving. But, that’s for another time, and is not the topic of this article. So, back to being alone.

3 Steps To Being Alone (Not Lonely)

The research shows that being alone can make you happier and more creative. It is also a key factor in finding flow, which is again linked to happiness and satisfaction. And introverts have long used alone time to ensure positive mental health.

Why not book a date with yourself today? Here’s how…

  1. Schedule Alone Time

If your usual MO is all about filling every waking hour with family, friends and activities, being alone might feel a bit weird to start with. The first step is to schedule some “me time.” So, plan a date with yourself, block out your calendar and tell your family you are taking some time for you.

  1. Find an Activity That Works For You

There are many things that you can choose to do, the only limitation is that you do it alone and without interruptions. You could plan a self-care or pamper date with yourself – go to the spa, or get a massage, have a long bath. You could go to a coffee shop or space you enjoy and read a book for a few hours. Maybe you could sign up to learn meditation or yoga, or go for a walk in nature, or plan to do something awe-inspiring.

  1. Be Mindful With Your Alone Time

Once you’ve scheduled your “me time” you have to make sure you get the benefits! That means silencing or turning off your phone and setting expectations that you won’t be contactable. It also means being mindful during the experience. Make sure you stop to appreciate the moments and take the time to be with your thoughts.

Related content: Read Moving On article What is a State of Flow and How to Find it, listen to our Podcast: Being Alone Can Make you Happier (E7)

Do you have any tips for how to be alone? Let us know in the comments below.

Don’t forget to subscribe for our weekly blog.

TED’s top 11 positive psychology talks

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Are you new to the field of positive psychology? Maybe you’re overwhelmed with all the content out there and not sure where to start?

It’s not surprising. Positive Psychology is a fairly new sub-field within the study of psychology. It is the study of happiness and looks at how people can live a more fulfilling, satisfying and meaningful life, and there has been an explosion of research and content over the past couple of decades.

To get you started on all you need to know, here’s a look at the best TED talks by some of the top positive psychology superstars around the world.

  1. Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology (23:42), July 2008. Commonly known as the founder of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman is a leading authority in the fields of Positive Psychology and resilience.
  2. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow, the secret to happiness (18:55), October 2008. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a Hungarian-American psychologist. He recognised and named the psychological concept of flow, a highly focused mental state conducive to productivity and happiness.
  3. Dan Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness (21:16), September 2006. Dan Gilbert is an author and Harvard psychologist who says our beliefs about what will make us happy are often wrong.
  4. Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness (12:46), December 2015. Robert Waldinger is a Harvard psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Zen priest and director of the longest study on adult life and happiness.
  5. Carol Dweck: The Power of Believing That You Can Improve (10:24), November 2014. Stanford university psychologist Carol Dweck researches “growth mindset” — the idea that we can grow our brain’s capacity to learn and to solve problems verses having a ‘fixed mindset.’
  6. Emily Esfahani Smith: There’s more to life than being happy (12:18), September 2017. Emily Esfahani Smith is a writer who draws on psychology, philosophy, and literature to write about the human experience—why we are the way we are and how we can find grace and meaning in a world that is full of suffering.
  7. Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability (20:19), December 2010. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of five #1 New York Times best sellers.
  8. Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work (12:20), February 2012. Shawn Achor is an American author, and speaker known for his advocacy of positive psychology. He authored The Happiness Advantage and founded GoodThink, Inc.
  9. Angela Lee Duckworth: Grit: The power of passion and perseverance (6:12), May 2013. Angela Duckworth is co-founder and CEO of Character Lab, a nonprofit that uses psychological science to help children thrive, and a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.
  10. Adam Grant: The surprising habits of original thinkers (15:25), April 2016. Adam M. Grant is an American psychologist, author and professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania specializing in organizational psychology.
  11. Susan David: The gift and power of emotional courage (16:48), January 2018. Susan David, Ph.D. a renowned psychologist and expert on emotions, happiness, and achievement, believes that one of the keys to a happy life is knowing yourself. She talks about recognising your feelings and understanding what they are really telling us.

Got a favourite Ted talk that’s not on this list? Share it below.

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In 2020, we’ve got a jam-packed editorial calendar of science-backed content on topics like ‘the power of being bored’ and ‘the importance of finding ‘flow.’’ There will be reviews of books and other resources in the positive psychology space, and we’ll be launching a new podcast called Happiness for Cynics. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out!