Unapologetically Marie

Writer, podcaster, mental health advocate

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3 Steps to Take Back Control of Your Emotions

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Is COVID-19 making you stressed, anxious or lonely? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

Since December 2019, the world has watched as COVID-19 spread from a local marketplace in the province of Wuhan, China to cover every corner of the world.

It has impacted us all. Many of us have cancelled future travel plans or been worried about how to get home from current holiday travel. Others have lost their jobs or been stood down from work, often with no idea of when, or if, they’ll go back to work. Many people are struggling with the isolation of having to work from home and following social distancing rules. And we’re all still scratching our heads about the toilet paper.

And that doesn’t even take into account the people who have caught the virus, whose lives have been turned upside down at best, and who are at risk of dying at worst.

We’ve seen the best in humans and the worst in humans (again, fighting over toilet paper? Really people, get it together!) and the only thing we can say is yes, these are most definitely unprecedented times.

The worst part is that all of it is out of our control. All of it except how we respond – that is 100 per cent within your control.

So, if you’re sick of being at the mercy of the latest fatalistic news broadcast, it’s time to take back control of your emotions! Here are three areas you can focus on to take back control of your emotions during these stressful times.

Remember, as author Stephen Covey said, “The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”So, if you want to be happier or reduce stress, anxiety and negative emotions, pick a few of the below research-backed options that work for you, and schedule them into your diary to make them habits.

3 steps to taking back control of your emotions during difficult times

Practice Self care

Your health and wellbeing are critical to your happiness. Luckily, there is a wealth of information about how to make small changes to your life to make it healthier and improve your wellbeing. Start by practicing self care to take back control of your emotions:

  • Get outside in the sun and/or into nature, studies shows that spending time by the sea makes people happier. Also just being outdoors makes you happier — preferably in a non-urban environment, but hey, we’ll take what we can get! Studies show that time outside in nature, especially among trees, significantly reduces stress and anxiety, improves your mood and energy, and boosts your immunity!
  • Do some light exercise, like going for an evening walk, or just get outside with a pet or your kids. If you’re working from home, be especially conscious of not sitting for too long, which has been associated with increased mortality!
  • Drink plenty of water and get 8-hours of sleep
  • Hug your partner/ significant other, or spend 5 minutes cuddling with a pet
  • Practice self-compassion. Give yourself a break! Constantly aiming to be better is exhausting and focusing on what’s ‘wrong’ or needs improvement can lead to negative self-talk. So, make sure you balance things out with some self-love and positive talk.

Look After Others

It’s been said that helping others is the most selfish act you can do. That’s because the benefits of helping others are so vast. Try some of the below activities to bring more joy and satisfaction into your life, and take back control of your emotions.

  • Kindness increases happiness, energy, the love hormone (oxytocin), pleasure and it even increases your lifespan. It’s also really easy to practice and has recently started a global movement you can get involved in #RandomActsOfKindness
  • Practice loving kindness. Research has shown that helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier, but more recent research finds that simply wishing someone well may have a similarly positive effect on our moods.
  • Research has shown that volunteering is rewarding in and of itself, and helping others is a way to higher individual wellbeing.

Be Social

No seriously! Social distancing doesn’t mean not being social, it means maintaining physical distance from others. In other words, don’t stop seeing people! The fastest road to feeling sad and lonely is to stop seeing and speaking to people. Humans are genetically wired to be social animals. So, to take back control of your emotions, make sure you take the time to be social. All you need is one close friendship; as this recent study shows, to take back control of your emotions.

What activities are OK in COVID-19 times? According to multiple sources, as long as you follow these general hygiene guidelines, you can do the following activities:

  • Avoid close contact, such as shaking hands, hugging, and kissing.
  • Wash hands often or use a hand sanitizer when soap and water are not available, and don’t touch your face.
  • Avoid surfaces that are touched often, such as doorknobs, handrails, and playground equipment.
  • Don’t go out if you feel unwell.

If you keep the above guidance in mind, the following activities will keep you connected during this time of uncertainty.

  • Call or video conference a friend or family members. Keep a special eye on people who are living alone and can’t go out.
  • Go for a walk with people in your household, or a friend but remember no contact! Many national parks are still open, and fresh air and exercise are still so important for mental health.
  • Visit a quiet beach. Although many beaches have been closed recently (most notably Bondi Beach was closed over the weekend), it’s the crowds not the activities that are the concern. If you live near a quiet beach, make an effort to meet someone for a walk.
  • Organise a virtual dinner party! If you want to go all out, pick a fancy-dress theme and send an email invite. Get everyone to download Zoom before the night. Put on some tunes in the background, BYO dinner and drinks, and dial in to the party.

Remember, Coronavirus is extremely contagious, can live in the air for hours and on some surfaces for days, and can easily be spread by droplets from someone’s cough. Keep your distance from others outside your household and wash your hands regularly.

NOTE: Advice is changing all the time, and differs in different countries, check your government website for the latest information and guidance.

Tell us your stories! What are you doing to keep sane during COVID-19?

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Coronavirus Making You Feel a Bit Low? Consider Adopting a Pet

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The Research is Clear: Pets Make You Happier and Benefit Your Mental Health

Research shows that interacting with pets increases cortisol levels, making you happier.

Here’s 3 ways you can find a new best friend and gain some resiliency during the Coronavirus pandemic.

1. Rescue or Adopt a Pet

Many studies have shown that pets make you happier, in fact simply petting a cat or dog reduces the stress hormone cortisol. All it takes is 10 minutes a day to lower your stress levels and increase positive emotions. Studies show that owning a dog reduces a person’s risk of premature death by up to a third!

Another study showed that having a dog has been proven to increase physical health too — after all you have to take them for walks! A study that examined data from almost 34,000 people has found that as little as one-hour of exercise per week, regardless of intensity, can help to prevent depression. So, get out there walk your dog or play with them in the park or backyard for just an hour and you can reap the benefits!

NOTE: generally, going for walks is still OK if you’re shut-in to help slow the spread of COVID-19 (keep 2 metres away from other walkers) but they’re generally not allowed if you’re officially quarantined because you’re high risk. Check with your local authorities to be sure.

2. Be Kind and Foster a Pet

If you can’t commit to rescuing and owning a pet full-time, you might be able to help out by fostering a pet for the short-term.

Unfortunately, in times of stress and when people are pinched financially, vets and charities often see a rise in dumped or surrendered animals. When people don’t know if or when they’ll get another pay check, it’s often hard to keep a pet, and many are returned to shelters.

Research shows giving to others activates an area of the brain linked with contentment and the reward cycle. So, performing selfless acts makes you happier. Being kind also increases happiness, energy, the love hormone (oxytocin), pleasure and it even increases your lifespan. It’s also really easy to practice and has recently started a global movement you can get involved in #RandomActsOfKindness

3. Volunteer to Walk Your Neighbours’ Dogs

You might not be able to take on a pet at your home right now, but many people are in need of help at the moment too, particularly if they’re quarantined at home. So why not put up a sign in your apartment lobby or local shops or do a mail drop around your street offering to walk your neighbours’ dogs.

Research shows that helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier. But more recent research finds that simply wishing someone well may have a similarly positive effect on our moods. So, whip around your block or neighbourhood (keeping your social distancing) or even better send around some emails and offer to help out.

Remember while you’re walking your neighbours’ dogs to be sure to stop and smell the roses, or at least notice them. Research says that observing nature — wherever you may be — will make you feel happier and improve your overall wellbeing.

Want some other science-backed tips to bring happiness into your life, read How to be happy – 50 science-backed ways to improve your happiness