cope with change

Awe-inspiring activities to bring wonder to your life

02/02/2020 by Marie

Do you ever feel like you need to get out of your own head? Maybe you need some help to deal with daily stresses or building your mental wellbeing and resilience? have you tried including awe-inspiring activities in your life? Here’s how.

Reflecting on your awe-inspiring activities

I want you to stop and think about the last time you experienced awe. Maybe you were outdoors in nature or on a family holiday? For me, it was the moment I stepped out of the archway and saw the Taj Mahal in India. I remember the goose bumps traveling up my arms and the wave of feeling that brought a huge grin to my face as I stood in front of the most awe-inspiring proclamation of love on the planet (in my humble opinion).

That moment was 5 years ago, and I can still remember it. I can still feel it.

Moments of awe are like life’s exclamation marks, punctuating our lives in rare and special moments. According to the Collins dictionary, “Awe is the feeling of respect and amazement that you have when you are faced with something wonderful and often rather frightening.”

It’s a thrill or a moment of wonder. It’s rare, and special, and because of that it is imprinted in your memory forever. Often it makes you think – about life and all that life entails. Sometimes it even energises you to act, at least in the short term, and every now and then it can even bring about longer-term change.

Some people find awe and wonder regularly, in the small and big things around them, while others only experience awe occasionally. It is different for every person.

The importance of awe

Experiencing awe is about being engaged with the wonder of life.

When you’re moving through an uneventful day on autopilot, or your mind is just wandering, the default mode network (DMN) in our brains is running things. For the DMN, it’s just another day and there’s not much effort going into our activities. But as researchers in the Netherlands discovered, when we are fully immersed in experiencing awe, it switches on our brains so we engage more with our external world and less with ourselves.

That state of immersion in awe enhances your wellbeing, gives you more satisfaction in life, sharpens your brains, and makes you feel less impatient and more time rich, according to researchers. It also impacts your physical health, with studies by University of Toronto, University of Pittsburgh and University of California-Berkeley showing that experiencing awe reduced inflammation in the body. Researchers at UC Berkeley showed that positive emotions such as awe are linked to proinflammatory cytokines, which respond to infection, inflammation, and trauma, among other things.

Research also shows that awe leads to people being more generous, more prosocial and more willing to volunteer – maybe as a result of people feeling humbled by things much larger than themselves and having a greater appreciation for larger social context and concerns.

What brings you awe?

Thankfully you don’t have to travel all the way to the Taj Mahal, Grand Canyon or Great Barrier Reef to feel awe and wonder. Awe can be experienced as a part of everyday life, but it is different for everyone.

Some people experience awe in day-to-day interactions with their kids, or on their morning jog. For others a moving piece of music, a ballet performance or a place of worship will lead to awe. Some people don’t experience awe often and need to work to remind themselves to find moments to stop and smell the roses in a hectic life.

To identify things that might bring you awe, try to think back to the last time you had goose bumps or the last time you felt small compared to the vastness of time or a place around you.

Planning for awe-inspiring activities in your life

Once you have identified the types of activities and moments that are likely to bring you awe, amazement and wonder, schedule these activities into your life. Here are some awe-inspiring activities that might give you some inspiration.

Experience the awe of ballerinas dancing

Be inspired by someone

Find people whom you respect for doing and thinking amazing things. That could be dancers in a theatre, singers at a concert, athletes at a sports event, or thinkers at a local university lecture series. Alternatively, you could find someone who has an extraordinary story and read their biography or watch them talk.

Get out into nature

Find a nature park or body of water that you haven’t visited yet and take a day trip. When you get there, plan to spend some time in reflection and contemplate the beauty of the area you’re visiting. Find something that amazes you, relax and just sit and watch in silence. And even if you don’t experience awe, simply observing nature is proven to make you happier and improve your overall wellbeing. For inspiration, check out this Lonely Planet article on where to find the most beautiful lakes.

Take a trip to somewhere with a long and proud history

Before you go, do some research into the area and history and the stories from the area. Read a book or watch a movie about that period – whatever you can do to connect with the vast history of the place and connect with the people and their stories. When you get there, visit a monument, museum or historical site and take the time to sit and reflect about the people and history around you.

Re-live your awe-inspiring moments

Simply reliving your moments of awe can have a positive impact on your wellbeing. Sit down and have a look through photos of old trips you’ve taken, or the birth of your child. Actually watch that video of your wedding! Or even better write a journal entry about any one of these moments.

Start an awe-inspiring playlist, album or journal

Researchers have shown that even reading about or watching awe-inspiring things can have a positive impact on your wellbeing. Now it’s true that this may not lead to as intense feelings of awe, but it still does have a positive impact. So why not start a journal of all the things that inspire you and bring you awe? You can paste your own photos or cut images from magazines or printed from articles online. Alternatively, you can create a playlist of music or movies that inspire awe in you. A great resource is Berkeley’s Awe video exercise, or take a look through the beautiful photos and videos at LonelyPlanet.com!

Make time for awe in your life

The research on awe is pretty conclusive: experiencing awe is powerful and comes with many benefits.

Remember, when you get there, don’t forget to be present and take the time to appreciate the moment and all its AWEsomeness. While there are still benefits to passively experiencing awe-inspiring activities, studies show you get even greater benefits when you’re mindful while experiencing moments of awe.

So, if you need to get out of your own head, deal with daily stressors or build your mental wellbeing and resilience, find a way to include awe-inspiring activities in your life.

Comment below! What makes you feel awe?

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OPINION: The future of work is failing to meet expectations

26/01/2020 by Marie

We were promised a four-day workweek and exciting creative work. Instead, we got burnout.

Let’s back this up. In the 80s, we fought long and hard against a system and way of living, called Communism, which was meant to be doom for us all.

Instead, we were fighting for a capitalist society that promised to keep delivering better outcomes for each new generation. It wasn’t hard to imagine. Post WWII, most things had been getting better and easier for everyone in these modern capitalist societies — we were just fighting for more of the same.

If we stayed the course, advances in society and steady increased in GDP would lead to wealthy nations which would provide better-quality and better access to healthcare and education. With our better health and higher education degrees, we’d be intellectually challenged in creative ways and meaningful pursuits at work, and from 55-years-old we’d retire but continue to contribute to our families and societies in ways that were less about financial reward and more about finding our passions.

More recently, they said opt-in to the Fourth Industrial Revolution. Like the previous revolutions, we could expect great change, but great benefits. These technological advances would help us reach that utopian end-point sooner. No more poverty or sickness, and we’d all be happy.

The Jetsons and Star Trek showed us that technology would make our lives and work easier. Automated flying cars would cut commute times, lengthy overseas holidays of self-discovery and wonder would be affordable to all, and all the mundane jobs would be done by robots so we could pursue creative careers that challenged us and gave our lives purpose. Rosie the robot maid would also do all our mundane household chores. Of course, we would also heed the danger stories, and design technology that was accessible, fair and benefitted all.

The reality is, quite frankly, the opposite.

More stress, less time, more pressures

We’re now smack bang in the middle of that Fourth Industrial Revolution, bringing together the physical, digital and biological to create exponentially growing and seemingly unending change in our lives, and it’s exhausting. We’re all burning out.

In 2019, the world finally stood up and took notice of the burnout problem. In May, the World Health Organization (WHO) added burnout to its list of globally recognised diseases, then later re-labelled it as an “occupational phenomenon” caused by chronic stress in the workplace. WHO estimates that one in five children or teenagers and one in four adults will experience burnout in their lives. This was further supported by the World Economic Forum labelling burnout a “mental health pandemic” and saying it was the new “21st century disease.”

Deloitte weighed in on our ‘always on’ work culture and a Gallup study showed that there is a global epidemic of burned-out workers who are experiencing (1) mistreatment, (2) unmanageable workloads, (3) a lack of role clarity, (4) a lack of support from their management, and (5) unreasonable time pressures.

Burnout means we’re constantly feeling busy, under pressure and like we have no time. We feel harassed by our technology and social media feeds always pinging. We feel the need to reply to work emails on our phones at 8pm or on Sunday mornings, just to keep up with our other colleagues who may actually be in the office at that time… and our bosses are answering emails then anyway. This is burnout.

We bought in, we played ball, and in exchange we got burnout. But surely we’re living better lives, right?

Not really.

For a lot of people, things haven’t gotten any better. Technological gains and efficiencies have benefitted not individuals but corporations, which are constantly striving to be more efficient, nimble and agile so they can fend off the next round of innovative start-ups.

We’re spending more time working, in increasingly demanding and stressful jobs with blurred work-life boundaries, and yet for the first time since 1930, we’re earning less relative income than those who came before us and we have less financial security.

We also no longer have job security. Instead we’re constantly on alert, waiting for the tap on the shoulder that signals we should clear out our desks along with 10% of our teammates — yet we’re told we’re not loyal anymore, and we’re “lucky” if we’re chosen to stay to work twice as hard once everyone else has left. (check out Daniel H. Pink’s classic-but-still-relevant book Free Agent Nation for more about the changing world of work).

Even though Millennials and Gen-Xers are the most highly educated generations, everything is changing so fast that we’re constantly being asked to get skills, then re-skill and re-skill again to remain relevant in the workforce. Yet, companies know that you might not stay and they might make your role redundant anyway, so they’ve all but done away with costly in-house training and we’re now asked to sort out all that extra accreditation in our own time and with our own money.

Meanwhile, the wealth gap continues to increase, many of us have huge university debt, no prospects of ever buying a house, and we won’t be able to retire until we’re 75.

This is not the future we were promised.

We’re running really fast. Who knows where, but we’re running, we’re busy, and that’s all that matters. Right?

No! This always-on, high pressure rat-race is making us sick. Burnout is proof that we can’t run the corporate hamster wheel and navigate the rotating door of mass layoffs and climb the ladder of education all at once. We just can’t do it all.

We need to fight burnout and to do that we need to regain the control and balance in our lives. We need more time for our families and friends, and more time to exercise and look after ourselves, or just more time to simply relax.

Why can’t we have that four-day workweek we were promised?

So, it’s not a cure, but seriously, why can’t we have a four-day work week?

No, I’m not talking about cramming 40-hours of work into four days and being paid less for the privilege. I’m talking about delivering on that promise that greater technological efficiency means workers see some benefits: getting to work less hours each week or getting more time off for instance.

We could do five 6-hour days a week, or four 8-hour days a week — I don’t mind, either is OK with me.

Recent news stories applauded Finland’s prime minister, Sanna Marin, for wanting to introduce a 4-day work week. “I believe people deserve to spend more time with their families, loved ones, hobbies and other aspects of life, such as culture,” Marin, 34, is quoted as saying in August last year before she took office.

Unfortunately, the Finnish Government couldn’t have run faster from these news stories, quickly clarifying that introducing a 4-day workweek was “not on the Finnish Government agenda.” The message was clear, although this is a nice idea, no one in power would seriously consider this. Gasp, think of the economy!

But here’s the thing, some companies have trialled these systems (working less) and have actually shown that employees end up being even more productive! It’s a win-win, and a no-brainer.

So, there is some hope for change, we just all have to move to New Zealand where Perpetual Guardian recently made a 4-day workweek available to its employees after a successful trial, as reported by Smart Company. Perpetual Guardian employees can opt-in for a weekly rest day while still receiving their normal salaries as long as they continue to meet their productivity objectives. And just to be clear, the trial showed that employees who embarked on the reduced workhours option were more productive and reported lower levels of stress.

According to New Europe, Sweden has also been trialling a reduced hour workweek: “In Sweden, where the 6-hour-day has already been in place since 2015, the results showed that employees were happier, wealthier and more productive as they were still fully paid and customers were more satisfied.”

Now I know that this is a small sample, and not all industries or job types will be suited to reduced work hours, but it is true that for some circumstances and some jobs, this can be made to work, both for the employer and employee — and it just might help to make a small difference to the burnout epidemic that is sweeping the world.

Plus burned-out employees are leaving corporations in droves anyway, costing organisation a while lot of money, so surely we have to try something, and why not a four-day workweek?

OK? Good.

So, now can we get back to delivering on that promise?

Unfortunately, while a four-day workweek is a nice start and possibly something that might shift the dial a little bit in the fight against burnout, it certainly isn’t a cure.

So, where do we go from here? How can we make capitalism deliver on its promise? You remember, the promise of a better life for individuals, not just stable GDP growth and bigger corporate profits.

One thing is for sure, our current democratic, capitalist approach is coming apart at the seams, in fact the world has just gone a bit crazy lately (dare I say it? … Trump and Brexit, what the heck?). Has anyone stopped to consider that maybe it’s because the current system is not delivering on that promise of a better future for our children and our children’s children?

Now, I’m not overly political, and I’m sure I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that I’ve experienced the corporate hamster wheel and the burnout that went with it, and I’m looking for change.

I see some hope in New Zealand, where Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, announced that her government was launching a “different approach for Government decision-making all together” by delivering a Wellbeing Budget rather than the traditional budget focused solely on growing GDP. Here’s how Ardern put it during a speech in New York:

“Traditionally, success or failure in politics has been measured in purely economic terms. Growth, GDP, your trade deficit and the level of debt you carry. On those terms, you would call New Zealand relatively successful. But in the last few years the deficiency of such measures has become stark. So, we are establishing brand new measure of national achievement that goes beyond growth.”

“While at a global level economic growth has been unprecedented, the distribution of benefits has been uneven at the level of individuals and communities. …. But we also need to do better at lifting the incomes of New Zealanders and sharing the gains of economic growth.”

Ardern then goes on to outline other measures of success for her government that are focused on relieving poverty, ensuring equality, improving the environment, and supporting accessibility to education for all.

Who would have thought!? This is a government focused not only on making sure the country gets richer (GDP), but more than that, focused on making sure that its people have better wellbeing outcomes.

Is this the capitalist model that actually delivers the promised utopia, or at least moves us in the right direction?

Only time will tell.

In the meantime, I’m serious about that four-day workweek. Let’s talk!

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How to Move on From Job Burnout

19/01/2020 by Marie

Feeling Stressed, Overwhelmed, Angry or Frustrated? Like 1 in 4 Others, You Could be Experiencing Job Burnout.

A few years ago, I experienced job burnout.

I had a good job with a well-respected brand, and I was killing it – regularly receiving awards and praise. I pride myself on my can-do attitude, and I was often the person called upon to get stuff done, the more important and immediate the task the more likely it was to come to me. I felt appreciated and important, and I was relishing it. Life was good.

Then it wasn’t.

I started getting colds and flus all the time, but I never felt that I could take the time to fully recover. There was just too much to do! I put on weight, mostly because I didn’t have time to cook or prepare meals, and I had stopped playing sports because I was just too tired after work.

I felt like I was always racing against impossible deadlines, forcing me to work into the evening or weekends. I’d always chosen to work late before – almost feeling proud of the extra hours I was putting in to get the job done well – now I felt cornered into it. I’d lost control and always felt snowed under. I noticed I was always stressed. In fact, it became my new answer when I’d walk into the office in the morning.

“How are you?” my colleagues would ask while not looking up from their computers.

“Oh you know, a bit stressed, but OK,” I would answer as I started up my laptop, brushing it off but also secretly hoping someone would say, “oh really, how can I help?”

They never did.

Most concerning to me, I was exhausted but couldn’t sleep. Not since my university days had I lay in bed awake stressing about all the things I had to get done the next day. The difference was that at university, I knew there was an end to exam week. It was a couple of weeks of intense prep and sitting the exams, then it was all over (with a holiday to follow!). But this just wasn’t ending, and it was getting worse. I tried writing my to-do list for the next day before bed, I tried deep breathing to calm my mind, I tried over-the-counter sleeping tablets. Nothing was working.

So, I jumped ship.

I was offered another job in another team, and it was the circuit breaker I needed. I got lucky, but not everyone has such a convenient alternative waiting for them when things get too tough.

2019: The Year of Burnout

2019 was the year that the world stood up and took notice of this problem.

It started when the World Health Organization (WHO) added burnout to its list of globally recognized diseases, estimating that one in five children or teenagers and one in four adults will experience burnout in their lives.

This was supported later in the year by the World Economic Forum labelling burnout a “mental health pandemic” and then later re-labelled it as an “occupational phenomenon” caused by chronic stress.

Understandably, there was also increased discussion of stress-management, resiliency and workplace engagement as a result.

Workaholics Beware

Job burnout happens after prolonged job-related stress, and it can affect your mental and physical health. According to the Mayo Clinic, job burnout can include the following risk factors that you should look out for:

identifying strongly with work
lacking balance between your work life and your personal life
having a high workload, including overtime work
trying to be everything to everyone, or trying to do everything
working in a helping profession, such as health care
feeling you have little or no control over your work
having a monotonous job

Unfortunately, society today rewards people who put in the extra hours – the people who are first to arrive and last to leave. Also, now that many people have a work phone, the lines between work and home have blurred, meaning we’re only a phone vibration away from that latest email your boss sends at 10pm because he’s also trying to catch up.

If you’re a high achiever or simply passionate about what you do, you are at higher risk of burnout. And if you’re a workaholic, then watch out!

Job Burnout Symptoms

Burnout is a slow progressing state that you get to over time which can leave you feeling physically and emotionally exhausted as well as cynical and detached. Symptoms of burnout include excessive stress, insomnia, fatigue, sadness, anger or irritability, alcohol or substance misuse, high blood pressure, and decreased immune function leading to an increase in illnesses, among others.

If you’re experiencing any of these job burnout symptoms, you’ll definitely want to get that checked out by a professional (talk to your doctor). If you’re not experiencing these symptoms, but are nodding along to those risk factors, you might want to reassess your current behaviours.

The Ideal State

A Yale university study recently examined engagement levels in 1000 employees and found that 2 out of 5 were engaged and had positive emotions about their work and workplace. Another 2 out of 5 were disengaged, so they were at higher risk of leaving the company. The last group, 1 out of 5, were engaged but burned-out – reporting high levels of interest, stress, and frustration. Surprisingly, people in this group had a higher turnover rate than those who were disengaged. To extrapolate, high performing talent is coming into organisations, burning themselves out, then moving on.

It stands to reason for both employers and employees that the ideal state for workers is to be highly engaged, but not to the point of job burnout. Workers need challenging work, sure, but they also need support to achieve that work. In short, managers need to stop asking one person to do more than one person’s worth of work for long or indefinite periods. And employees need to stop treating constant overtime as a reasonable request. Also, if asked to do a short-term stint of long nights and weekends, the worker needs time off afterward to re-balance. As Shawn Achor and Michelle Gielan wrote in Harvard Business review, “resilience is about how you recharge, not how you endure.”

Balance. That Old Chestnut.

While recovering is important in high stress jobs, it’s also important to put time and thought into how not to get stressed in the first place. And you guessed it, it’s all about balance.

There are three focus areas you should be aiming to find balance across. With small but powerful changes in these areas, you can keep some balance in your life and stop your job from leading you to job burnout.

When we experience job burnout, we let our job (the purpose and meaning circle) take over, often to the detriment of our relationships and health

Put Work In Its Place – It Is One Part Of a Balanced Life

Remember, work is only one part of a balanced, happy life. Many studies have shown that we need to have purpose or meaning in our lives, and in today’s day and age we generally get that from our jobs. In fact, because our jobs take up so much of our times nowadays, they often become the main thing that gives us purpose and they often are inextricably linked to our sense of identity. What we do is very often how we introduce ourselves to others, and how we see our place in the world. So, yes jobs are important, but they’re not everything, and like with nearly all things in life, it’s about balance.

You need balance between what brings you meaning and purpose, and also between the other aspects of your life: your social connections and your mental and physical health.

You may only aim for balance between each of the three areas, whereas some people may also aim for balance within the three focus areas as well. This means aiming to have multiple things that give their life meaning, such as being a banker and a little league coach and a father/husband, or as we’re seeing more and more in today’s gig economy, you might be a freelance writer, a speaker and a change consultant.

If you have one job you’re passionate about, but your job has recently taken over your life (the red circle is the only or largest circle), then you should start by learning to say “no” while you are getting yourself back onto your feet. Talk to your boss about needing to find balance between work and personal life and agree that you won’t take on new tasks or responsibilities for a while until you can get back to a manageable workload. Also, take back your out-of-office life by agreeing on times you can turn off your work phone or silence alerts outside of work hours – then do it!

Prioritise Your Mental and Physical Health

One of the first things that goes when we get busy is our physical health. With this one, start small if you want to make long-term change – the easiest way to fail at change is to try to do too much all at once. So, here’s some good news. Studies show that as little as one-hour of exercise per week, regardless of intensity, can show benefits. So, why not sign up for a 6pm gym class or sports league once per week. Tell your colleagues and boss so they can support you to leave on time that day. You could also find ways to get outside during your workday. Try walking meetings, or you could actually take your lunchbreak (gasp!), and when you do, find a park to sit in and eat lunch. Lastly, why not go for a hike with friends or family on the weekends – the benefits of being in nature are many.

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and they’re both intrinsically tied. There is a lot of information out there, such as be mindful, grateful, kind and generous. But if you’re recovering from burnout, or trying to, you may wish to focus on resting and recovering – also now known as self-care. So, take your holidays, get enough sleep, have long baths, Netflix to your heart’s content. Whatever it is that helps you unwind, make it a priority in 2020. Here’s some additional inspiration if you need it. Like with all things, you don’t want to overdo it (it’s all about balance!), but when things get busy it’s easy to forget we need to rest and recover too.

Prioritise Relationships Outside of Work

What do people remember on their deathbeds? The people in their lives and the experiences they shared with them. Make sure you are prioritising your relationships outside of work, both at home and with friends. Find time to do activities with your friends and family, preferably face-to-face, such as taking holidays, going for walks, or having meals together. The benefits of having strong social connections are endless, and include living longer, being happier and being more resilient to illness, just to name a few. The great news is that you can roll #2 and #3 together sometimes for a double whammy.

If you don’t have many close friends and would like to have more, just remember, you need to invest the time. There is no quick fix here. The latest science shows that it takes about 200 hours to become a close friend with someone. So, try looking for a class or long-term activity that you can commit to that could help ease the awkward period between acquaintances and friends.

Why not make 2020 the year of balance? And if all else fails, you can just jump ship, like I did, and start again!

“Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls—family, health, friends, integrity—are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”
Gary Keller

Dealing with Burnout

Remember throughout it all that there are science-backed activities you can do to better manage your stress and build your resiliency. Check out the posts under the below topics for some ideas on how to manage your stress, or speak to a professional.

Community and Connection: Connecting with others and contributing to your community are proven to build emotional resiliency and make your life happier. It is so important not to neglect this part of your life, especially if it doesn’t come easily, like when work is really busy or if you’re a natural introvert.

Health and Wellbeing: Your health and wellbeing is critical to your happiness. Luckily, there is a wealth of information about how to make small changes to your life to make it healthier and improve your wellbeing.

Meaning and Purpose: Having a sense of meaning and purpose in life is critical to resiliency and living a happy life. You need it to thrive and flourish. It’s about having a reason to get out of bed in the morning, setting goals and having commitments. Some lucky people get that purpose through their job, but many of us get our purpose through other activities such as volunteering, learning or experiencing new things or caring for others.

Related content: Read Moving On article Stress Reduction Lessons from Marie Kondo, listen to our Podcast: The Importance of Having Fun In Your Life – Interview (E27)

TED’s top 11 positive psychology talks

05/01/2020 by Marie

Are you new to the field of positive psychology? Maybe you’re overwhelmed with all the content out there and not sure where to start?

It’s not surprising. Positive Psychology is a fairly new sub-field within the study of psychology. It is the study of happiness and looks at how people can live a more fulfilling, satisfying and meaningful life, and there has been an explosion of research and content over the past couple of decades.

To get you started on all you need to know, here’s a look at the best TED talks by some of the top positive psychology superstars around the world.

Martin Seligman: The new era of positive psychology (23:42), July 2008. Commonly known as the founder of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman is a leading authority in the fields of Positive Psychology and resilience.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: Flow, the secret to happiness (18:55), October 2008. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a Hungarian-American psychologist. He recognised and named the psychological concept of flow, a highly focused mental state conducive to productivity and happiness.
Dan Gilbert: The surprising science of happiness (21:16), September 2006. Dan Gilbert is an author and Harvard psychologist who says our beliefs about what will make us happy are often wrong.
Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness (12:46), December 2015. Robert Waldinger is a Harvard psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Zen priest and director of the longest study on adult life and happiness.
Carol Dweck: The Power of Believing That You Can Improve (10:24), November 2014. Stanford university psychologist Carol Dweck researches “growth mindset” — the idea that we can grow our brain’s capacity to learn and to solve problems verses having a ‘fixed mindset.’
Emily Esfahani Smith: There’s more to life than being happy (12:18), September 2017. Emily Esfahani Smith is a writer who draws on psychology, philosophy, and literature to write about the human experience—why we are the way we are and how we can find grace and meaning in a world that is full of suffering.
Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability (20:19), December 2010. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of five #1 New York Times best sellers.
Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work (12:20), February 2012. Shawn Achor is an American author, and speaker known for his advocacy of positive psychology. He authored The Happiness Advantage and founded GoodThink, Inc.
Angela Lee Duckworth: Grit: The power of passion and perseverance (6:12), May 2013. Angela Duckworth is co-founder and CEO of Character Lab, a nonprofit that uses psychological science to help children thrive, and a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.
Adam Grant: The surprising habits of original thinkers (15:25), April 2016. Adam M. Grant is an American psychologist, author and professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania specializing in organizational psychology.
Susan David: The gift and power of emotional courage (16:48), January 2018. Susan David, Ph.D. a renowned psychologist and expert on emotions, happiness, and achievement, believes that one of the keys to a happy life is knowing yourself. She talks about recognising your feelings and understanding what they are really telling us.

Got a favourite Ted talk that’s not on this list? Share it below.

Don’t miss out!

In 2020, we’ve got a jam-packed editorial calendar of science-backed content on topics like ‘the power of being bored’ and ‘the importance of finding ‘flow.’’ There will be reviews of books and other resources in the positive psychology space, and we’ll be launching a new podcast called Happiness for Cynics. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss out!

3 Habits of Positive People

25/11/2019 by Marie

Robert Collier, one of America’s original self-help authors who believed happiness and abundance were achievable by everyone, once famously said “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”

What if positivity was the same, and all you had to do was repeat the same few habits and you could be a happy person?

Well, the research shows that’s exactly how it works. You can train your brain to be more positive and happier! Here’s the science backed way to do it.

1. Practice Being Grateful, Every Day

Write down 3 things you’re grateful for each day.

“In just a two-minute span of time, done for 21 days in a row, we can actually rewire your brain, allowing your brain to work more optimistically and more successfully,” says psychologist and CEO of Good Think Inc., Shawn Achor, in his Ted Talk The Happy Secret to Better Work.

Shawn and his team have worked with a whole lot of companies, and by the time they’ve finished this simple exercise people’s brains are starting to retain a pattern of scanning the world for the positive first, not the negative. If that doesn’t work for you, try making it a habit to talk to your family each night about one positive experience you’ve had that day – this allows your brain to relive it. 2.

2. Exercise Regularly

This one is tried and true. We’ve heard it all our lives, do exercise, it’s good for you in so, so, so many ways.

There are a whole lot of YouTube videos for 10- and 20-minutes exercise sessions you can do before work or bed each day. Make sure you start small and work your way up. Remember it’s better to do a bit somewhat regularly, rather than a lot all at once then quit.

If you’ve never really been into exercise in the past, I recommend starting in your lounge room, with a 10-minute exercise like this one for beginners or for a more intense cardio workout try this session from Brookes. Try doing this three times per week for a month, then try making this a regular pre- or post-work habit and doing it five times a week. After a few months, or when it becomes too easy, move to a 15-minute session.

3. Make it a Habit to be Nice

And finally, be nice. If you make being nice or kind a habit, you become more positive and see more niceness in others’ actions and around you.

On top of that, according to Dr. Ritchie Davidson at the University of Wisconsin, being nice makes you nicer too! “It’s kind of like weight training, we found that people can actually build up their compassion ‘muscle’ and respond to others’ suffering with care and a desire to help,” says Ritchie.

Check out these other studies that show the benefits of being nice. There are so many easy and free things you can do to be nice, such as writing an email to thank a colleague for a job well done, or leaving positive comments on a blog or online article. For more inspiration and resources, visit https://www.randomactsofkindness.org.

The research is conclusive and shows you can train your brain just like you train your body. Life’s too short to not be happy with it, why not put these 3 things into practice today?

Related content: Read Moving On article TED’s top 11 positive psychology talks

Tell me what you do to stay positive in the comments below!

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The Change Storm

10/10/2019 by Marie

We’re all living in a change storm – experiencing more change, more often than ever before.

Whether we’re starting our first job, moving interstate or overseas, changing careers or retiring, it’s clear that life is full of major transitions and changes. So, why are so many of us unprepared? Why are we so often not equipped to deal with that change, even though quite often we know it’s coming and sometimes we’re even looking forward to it?!

Can it really be true that we all go through major life changes, yet none of us are taught how to be prepared to do it well?

We’re Living in a Change Storm

Globalisation and technological change are transforming companies, industries, countries and societies. More than that, they’re leading to uncertain, volatile ways of living and working. We’ve all heard it before, the only constant is change, and there’s no escaping change in our lives.

For instance, did you know…?

Globally, 14 percent of jobs could disappear in the next 15-20 years, and another 32 percent are likely to change radically.

In Australia, some jobs cuts are estimated as high as 40%, and possibly even more in rural areas. This means many Australians should prepare to lose their jobs or have to change jobs in the future.

In the US, more than 70,000 baby boomers will reach retirement age every single week until 2030, and hundreds of thousands of service members separate from the military each year.

In the UK, there were 2.34 million higher education students in 2017-18 who were preparing to enter the workforce.

And the latest research shows that most people will change their career 5 or more times in a lifetime.

You Can’t Ignore the Change Storm

Now, I am no stranger to change and stress. I come from an elite sports background. I started my career in journalism before moving to a successful career in public affairs, advising top executives in multinational corporations both here in Australia and in the U.S.

But, a couple of years ago, I had just finished a season as the captain of the NSW State Women’s Volleyball team, and I was on holidays in central Vietnam with my best friend when I had a motorbike accident and nearly died.

But here’s the kicker, that wasn’t the worst part.

The worst part wasn’t when I thought I would have to have my leg amputated. It wasn’t the 12 surgeries, and years of pain and rehab. And the worst part wasn’t being told I would never play volleyball again – even though that was a devastating day.

The worst part was months after my accident. That was when everything fell apart, and it was a long road to regain my mental health.

Once on the other side of that dark place, I began to really question why my resilience had left me then. Why was I mentally tough when I had played volleyball in packed stadiums, and when counselling angry executives during huge crises, or even during my horrific accident, but not when I was making progress in recovery and looking forward to going home?

As I was trying to unpack everything I had experienced, I began to talk to people who’d had similar periods of depression following big life changes. And I went from feeling alone and ashamed that I hadn’t coped well, to feeling indignant that this was so common, yet no one had warned any of us what to expect!

The Three Resilience Foundations

So, being an ex-journo, I decided I needed to interview people all over the world. I’ve spoken to Olympic athletes and coaches, to current and former military personnel, to people who have retired, changed careers or been made redundant, and I’ve spoken to people who’ve had heart-breaking diagnoses and accidents.

And here’s what I’ve learned: Resilient people – the people who deal with whatever life throws at them – have balance across 3 key foundations.

This isn’t to say that when things go wrong or bad, that resilient people don’t feel pain and sadness. It means that despite the change storm, resilience people did not let times of higher stress overwhelm them or lead to depression.

1. Purpose and Meaning

Firstly, they have purpose and meaning in their lives, and this is often tied to a strong sense of identity and self. This is about having something to get you out of bed in the morning, and about having goals, plans and commitments.

2. Community and Connections

Secondly, they have strong community and connections. They have a core group of people they could talk to and depend on, they also tend to have a wider community network, through activities like church or regular volunteering.

3. Healthy Mind and Body Habits

Thirdly, they practice and prioritise some positive habits for a healthy body and mind. That could be getting out into nature for walks, going to the gym, or playing on a sports team, or it could be meditation, drinking water, and making sure they get 8hrs of sleep. The activity itself varied, the main point was that resilient people prioritise their own self-care habits.

So, there is nothing particularly ground-breaking here, this is common sense, right? So, why are we getting it wrong?

My Story

Being discharged from hospital was a monumental achievement and happy day, but what I had failed to understand, is that while I was in hospital the fight to survive and keep my leg had given my life meaning and purpose. Similarly, I had the support and daily interactions with the army of healthcare professionals, friends and family who had rallied by my side.

But in one fell swoop, I lost it all. The second I came home, I was left mostly alone and with no real purpose. There were a lot of empty hours in the day, and it didn’t take long for me to crash.

My mental health recovery was gradual, and largely due to dumb luck. There were two changes that happened around the same time that helped me find my mental health again.

Firstly, I had been quite frustrated at how slow rehabilitation is. I’d been an athlete, and I am quite competitive, and I was already bored. So, one day I rolled my wheelchair into the gym and told my physio I had booked flights to Machu Picchu in a year’s time. That gave me a goal and lit a fire.

Around that same time one of my good friends begged me to help him establish a competitive volleyball program for Sydney’s LGBTIQ Volleyball Club. They needed a coach who could launch and run a new program. He had it all planned out, so I didn’t have any excuses. I reluctantly agreed, not having the strength to look him in the eye and say no, even though that’s all I really wanted to say. A few weeks later, I rolled my wheelchair into the gym for tryouts, preparing myself for the looks of confusion and doubt from the adult men in the gym. I couldn’t have known at the time that these fabulous, dramatic, caring men would save me. Because they might not know it, but they gave me back my identity, my community. They gave me back some meaning and purpose. And slowly, I began to heal. To move on.

Weathering the Change Storm

So, my question to you is simple: are you the most resilient you can be to ensure you can weather the change storm?

If nothing else, there are two things I hope you take from this site:

Firstly, if you’re going through change, and if you’re struggling, please know you’re not alone. This story is far more common than we are led to believe.

Secondly, good change and bad change will happen. You can’t escape it. So here’s my challenge to you: take stock of your life now and the balance you may or may not have in your three resilience foundations, because it’s too late after you’ve retired, or been made redundant, or had that accident. But if you maintain and protect these foundations, you can weather even the fiercest of storms.

Unless you plan on hiding under a rock for the rest of your life, you will face a major life change at some point, if you haven’t already – so be prepared.

Related content: Read Moving On article 5 ways to teach kids resiliency and happiness, listen to our Podcast: The Benefits of Psychological Safety (E16)

Thanks for visiting and please reach out to me with any questions! Wishing you all love and best wishes for your change journey.