Unapologetically Marie

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Are You Suffering from Covid Burnout?

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Are You Suffering from Covid Burnout

What is Covid Burnout? 

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines pandemic fatigue as being “demotivated” and exhausted with the demands of life during the COVID crisis. The WHO warns that this fatigue could ultimately lead to a longer, more devastating pandemic. 

How this plays out in real life is that at the beginning of the pandemic, when we were scared and unsure, we were willing to follow the rules. We chipped in and did the right thing. We made an effort to always wear a mask – even outside, and even when the rules were unclear. We kelp our distance in supermarkets, following the little stickers to ensure we were 1.5m away from others. We went to get our vaccine as soon as we could. Some of us even did that weird elbow bump thing for a while… 

But over time, fear subsides, and frustrations grow. We simply get tired of it all. That’s when exhaustion and complacency set in. And that’s where many of us are right now… we’re just over it all. 

I’ve spoken before about work burnout, and in many ways Covid burnout looks similar. Everyone is different though, but according to Healthline, the symptoms could include: 

Source: Healthline 

Related reading: Signs Of Burnout At Work 

What to do About Covid Burnout 

We’ve spoken in the past about the difference between flourishing and languishing. When we’re flourishing, we’re at our peak mental health, we’re not simply living life, but we’re loving life. This is where you find passion, energy, excitement, love, awe and hope.  

However, many of us spend a lot of our lives languishing – simply going through the paces…. not quite in poor mental health, but nowhere near the higher end of the spectrum either. Many summarise this mental place as ‘meh.’ This state of mental being is where many of us now find ourselves.  

Listen to: From Languishing to Flourishing (E70) 

But here’s the thing… you can change this seemingly never-ending cycle. If you’re sick of the ‘meh,’ it’s time to do something about it! 

Take Action Against Covid Burnout 

  1. Be aware. Are you starting to struggle, lose focus or energy? If you’re suffering from Covid burnout, you can take back control by firstly being aware of what you’re feeling. Take some time to understand the signs and look at how you’re tracking. Reading this article is a great first step. 
  1. Seek help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unable to move forward, it’s always best to reach out to professionals.  
  1. Work out! If you find you’ve been languishing, then you might need a mental fitness plan to build up your mental strength. You can try: 
  • Planning a holiday: Planning a trip is directly correlated with happiness. Research reveals that simply planning future travel can boost mood and mindset. 
  • Taking a daily walk: Get outside regularly. Many studies have shown that switching off your devices and spending time outdoors is associated with higher levels of happiness. The trees, the sun and the birds have all been shown to improve our wellbeing. 
  • Practicing love and kindness: Research shows that helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier, but more recent research finds that simply wishing someone well may have a similarly positive effect on our moods. 

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!  

Breathing Your Way to Happiness (E86)

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Happiness for Cynics podcast

In this episode, Marie and Pete discuss breathing your way to happiness, the science behind it and teach some simple breathing techniques. 

Show notes

Wim Hof – Breathing and Meditation

The Wim Hof method can be defined by its simple, easy-to-apply approach and its strong scientific foundation. It’s a practical way to become happier, healthier and stronger.

Diaphragmatic breathing – Medical News Today

  • Lie down on a flat surface with a pillow under the head and pillows beneath the knees. Pillows will help keep the body in a comfortable position.
  • Place one hand on the middle of the upper chest.
  • Place the other hand on the stomach, just beneath the rib cage but above the diaphragm.
  • To inhale, slowly breathe in through the nose, drawing the breath down toward the stomach. The stomach should push upward against the hand, while the chest remains still.
  • To exhale, tighten the abdominal muscles and let the stomach fall downward while exhaling through pursed lips. Again, the chest should remain still.

People should practice this breathing exercise for 5–10 minutes at a time, around three to four times each day.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

[Singing]

P: Da Dum Da Daaaa!

M: Da da da da, da dum da daaaa

P & M: Da da daaaa!

[End singing]

P: Oh wow. You went to the refrain straight away.

M & P: Laugh!

P: God bless John Williams. Is that John Williams? I think it’s John Williams. [Yes, it is]

M: I’ve got no idea.

P: Laugh!

M: I didn’t even realise what we were singing, I just know it. Star Wars? What are we doing?

P: That was Raiders of the lost Ark, laugh.

M: Oh, yeah. Okay. Alright. It was one of those things from deep within my childhood.

P: Laugh!

M: It just came flooding back to me and I was like, I don’t know why I know this, but I do. Laugh.

P: Someone today at our IT meeting said does anyone here remember Xena Warrior princess? I’m like a, duh, laugh!

M: I dressed up as her for Halloween.

P: Laugh!

M: Do I remember her, psht! I have photos.

P: Laugh.

M: So, I’ve decided on today’s episode that we’re not going to mention the C word.

P: Oh! Not the See you next Tuesday?

M: No, not that “See” word.

P: Laugh!

M: The C word that has taken over our entire life.

P: Exactly. I’m all for not saying it ever again.

M: Well, I do think there are times where you need to acknowledge that things aren’t okay. But I also think focusing on bad things too much can just make you get stuck in a rut.

P: I fully support this forward progression.

M: So, today we are going to talk about breathing your way to happiness.

P: Oh, you just stole my intro, Laugh.

M: And we’re not going to mention the C word.

P: Laugh!

M: We’re going to talk about breathing.

P: We’re going to talk about the B word, laugh.

M: The B word. Yes. Which as a cynic, and cynic is not the C word we were talking about.

P & M: Laughter.

M: As a cynic, breathing kind of seems a bit far-fetched.

P: I love that you brought this up Marie, because the way I was going to segway into this was actually talking about meditation.

M: Yep…

P: So, in a way, this is,

M: …

P: Uh okay, hold back. Just give me a second, laugh.

M: Go on. Change my mind, Peter.

P: Laugh, I have to explain this to our listeners. Sometimes Marie needs a bridal, laugh. You’ve just got to pull back a little bit and go ‘Okay, hang on. Let me have control here for a second.’ Laugh.

M: Or you could just join in?

P: Laughter!

M: I like to think it is passion and energy.

P: Oh, I support it, yeah.

M: And generally, people just come along for the ride, laugh.

P: True. True.

M: Laugh.

P: You get dragged along kicking and screaming. Both work! Laugh.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Anyway, moving on.

M: Breathing.

P: So, breathing. Well, it melds into meditation. And in the light of some of the episodes that we’ve done the last few weeks, this is this is an episode with a coping mechanism. So, we’re talking about things that you can actually do. And it got me thinking because I’ve recently been exposed to this, I actually realised that I’ve been using breath for a very long time –

M: Me too.

P: and breathing, actually –

M: Since I was born, I’ve been breathing.

P: Laugh, down Bessie!

M & P: Laughter.

P: Once again, bridal moment!

M: Laugh, sorry. As you were.

P: Laugh.

M: As you were saying, you’ve been breathing for a while?

P: Yes, I have been, but using breath, it was something that we did in my dance training. There was a lot of work around breathing, and we did a lot of Alexander technique and Feldenkrais technique and applied kinesiology, which is all about using the breath. These are terms that may not be familiar for a lot of people, but breathing was actually part of our training, if you like.

M: I think you might need to tone it down a bit, Peter.

P: Thanks, Marie. Laugh.

M: Laugh.

P: I’m pushing on here.

M: I love these episodes where I just get to jump in with snide comments or I prefer to call them witty comments.

P: Laugh, witty!?

M: When you’re trying to teach our listeners something.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Anyway, a bunch of fancy names for breathing.

P: Yes. Alright, then meditation comes along, so we know that Marie isn’t a meditator I’m speaking out, I’m looking out into my room here as if I’m speaking to the audience.

M: Laugh.

P: I’m choosing to ignore the person on the computer screen.

M & P: Laughter.

P: Using my nonverbal communication skills here.

M: Laugh.

P: So, we know that breathing is part of meditation. That breath is something that people who meditate train a lot with, and there is science behind it. We’re about to explore that science. So, there is a link between breath and stress, and so there’s been a lot of work in this and as far back as the 1950s. There was a gentleman called Walter Hess who coined the term the trophotropic response.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Now this trophy trophotropic response is about the integration of breath and how it works with the brain and in particular the hypothalamus, which is our sort of brain centre. It takes information and processes and sends it out to different parts of the brain and coordinates how the brain responds to information that’s coming in and out. So, the messages that are coming in from sensory and messages are going out, which is action.

M: And that’s what regulates this [stumbling over the word] tropho-tropic response?

P: The trophotropic response talks about the influence of the breath on the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.

M: You’re getting really techy.

P: We are getting techy, I’m going for it with my study notes here. Sympathetic is the fight or flight response. So, when we are running away from the lion, we are in the sympathetic response. Our brain is going, ‘there’s a threat we need to run away. Let’s get all the blood and send it to the brain, because we need to activate the muscles. Let’s get all the blood and send it to the muscles because we need to perform running motions and get away. We need to elevate our adrenaline response because we need lots of energy to get moving to run away from the lion.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: The parasympathetic response is the opposite. It’s what happens when we sleep. It’s the rest and digest. So, when we rest were lying on the couch. We’re watching a movie. The blood doesn’t need to be out in our skeletal muscles. So, it goes internal. It goes to our digestive organs. It goes to our immune function. It goes to our defecation muscles down into our bladder and our urethra and things like that, so that we’ve got this resting and digesting.

In Eastern Medicine, they talk about it being descending Chi. So, the Chi goes from the outside, inwards into our organs. Are you with the mouse?

M: I feel like I’m having a science lesson. But how does this relate back to breathing? And what is trophotropic response again? Laugh.

P: Laugh. So, the trophotropic response is coined by Walter Hess to demonstrate an organism’s natural response to relaxation. What happens in our body when we relax, the science of relaxing.

M: And how does that relate to breathing?

P: So, what Walter talked about was looking at the ways that we could influence our relaxation. What do we do when we relax? What is the first thing you do when you finish work and you sit on the couch. What’ s one of the first things you do, Marie?

M: Scratch my ass?

P: Yep, then?

M & P: Laughter!

P: Grab a drink.

M & P: Laughter!

M: Hold on, I will sit with the vodka, generally.

P: Laugh!

M: Alright, I’ll play along, I’ll play along. Take a big, deep breath.

P: Take a big, deep breath. When we’ve finished a project, or we finished a block of study, or we finished an event. You take a big [long deep breath].

M: Mmm.

P: Now if we all just do that. If everyone takes a big breath and lets it out.

M: [Big breath]

P: What does that feel like?

M: [Whispers] Like a deep breath.

P: Notice your voice. It just went quiet. So, it brings us back to centre. If it takes us away from being this, ‘I’m on show and I’m gonna do this and that1,’ it’s like, Okay, let’s bring it all in internally. There were other scientists that explore this in the 1970s Schwartz, Davidson and Goleman and they looked at relaxation techniques which have a relation on cognitive and somatic components of anxiety. So, they’re looking particularly at anxiety and how relaxation techniques can influence what happens in our brain to downgrade anxiety.

M: What’s a somatic component of anxiety?

P: Somatic is movement basically. So, we’ve got cognitive, which is thinking.

M: Ok, yep.

P: And somatic, which is more movement, and this was coined by I’m going to get this wrong, Meryem Yilmaz, who is a Turkish PhD professor. She was talking about this and took this a step further when she was talking about exploring relaxation techniques with post-operative patients. So, patients who have gone in for operations.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Even pre-operative going into operations, using relaxation techniques and seeing how it affected their recovery from an operation. And she found that there was a positive correlation between breath and better recovery from operations. So, really, what you’ve said here is breath impacts, relaxation and relaxation can have impacts on anxiety both mental and physical, as well as pre and post-operative outcomes.

P: Yes.

M: Sorry. Not pre-operative outcomes as in… Okay, we get it though, laugh.

P: The intervention at the pre-operative stage.

M: Yep, helps with post[-operative] outcome.

P: Doing something pre-operatively helps with recovery, yeah. So, we’re talking about things that actually can help you with your health and bring you out of a situation in a better position. Agreed?

M: Got it.

P: Okay, so here comes the science.

M: But what’s the breathing, though?

P: Well, I’m so glad you asked this, Marie. Laugh.

M: I’ve been breathing since, you know, probably a few seconds after birth.

P: Laugh.

M: As has everyone else I know who’s alive.

P: Alright, I’m excited about this, I’m excited about this.

M: Laugh

P: So, if we actually go back to breathing and we look at the science, we’ve got a thing called tidal volume. So, tidal volume is the rate of oxygen and carbon dioxide that is exchanged in a single breath. Now, if we exercise and we breathe, what do we do?

M: When we’re exercising? Breathe.

P: Yeah.

M: You breathe faster.

P: Exactly. A lot of us take short, sharp breaths.

M: Yep, cause you’re trying to get oxygen in quickly.

P: Exactly. So, the other way that some of us will do when we’re exercising or we’re trying to breathe better is to breathe deeper. So we use forced inspiration to bring more oxygen into our lungs and then forced expiration to force more air out. Which do you think is more efficient?

M: Deeper versus shorter breaths.

P: Absolutely right. I’ve got some figures here.

Tidal volume is the amount of air that is exchanged on inhalation and exhalation. Okay?

So, according to percentage, 85% effective to slowly deep breathe as opposed to 40% on shallow and rapid breathing.

M: So, if you’re running or working really hard at the gym.

P: Yep.

M: Even though you might feel like you need to breathe faster and suck air in.

P: Yep.

M It is going to serve you better to slow that down as much as possible.

P: This is one of the things that we’ll come to later, and there’s a gentleman that we’ll talk about that’s actually trained in this. He’s trained his breath and training his body so that he can endure fitness by use of his breath, [and] he can make his oxygen/carbon dioxide transfer more efficient. Obviously, if you’re working at a high level, you need to breathe quickly and you need to expel air quicker. So, there is a certain point where your rate of breathing will increase.

M: Mmm.

P: If you’re under really heavy load and you’re going for it and half way through your marathon you’re having to go up a hill, you need to breathe quickly and you need to forcefully expire and inspire. We can’t change that. But if we look at the ways that we can actually control our breath, there are a couple of things that go on in the body. And the big one that is involved with a lot of research recently is this thing called the vagus nerve. Here we go with more science. I’m getting so scientific, I’m so proud of myself.

M: I know!

P & M: Laughter!

P: You created a monster, Marie! Laugh!

M: Accessible science, Pete.

P: Oh, oh.

M: Without the jargon, laugh.

P: Okay. So, one of the things that this deep breathing can do is it can stimulate the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is our 10th cranial nerve. Okay, so when we’re talking about the vagus nerve and what it does essentially, if we can tap into the power of this vagus nerve, we can actually control how our body reacts to stress.

M: Ok.

P: And this is where the link with breathing comes in. So, if we can, when we are emotional and we’re suffering [from] stress and we’re running around and we’ve got things going on and I’ve got this deadline due and you start to get all hyper, you start to breathe really shallowly. One way that we can control that is to tap into our deep breathing which, according to the science, activates our vagus nerve, slows down our heart rate. We can use our breath to effectively calm our system.

M: Oh.

P: And there’s a gentleman who’s done this really well. And he’s well known in some of the extreme endurance athlete circles. Wim Hof, who is described as an endurance athlete and a Dutch philosopher.

M: Laugh, Dutch, I tell you, they’re all philosophers.

M & P: Laughter.

M: All those long, long winter nights.

P: Laugh, yeah. So, he’s known colloquially as the ICE MAN, because he goes and sits himself in the ice and snow and this is one of the ways that you can stimulate your vagus nerve. That and cold showers.

M: Hmm.

P: Yeah.

M: Again, another reason why this is just not for me.

M & P: Laughter.

P: But have you ever done that, when you come out of a really heavy volleyball tournament, and you’ve gone for a nice cold shower?

M: Look, we used to do ice baths when I was in college, and at the AIS. So yes, I know, really cold!

P: Laugh!

M: Not comfortable, you know, to the point where it’s painful, but I’ve never been a cold shower person. Never done it for me.

P: Yeah, so this guy has explored this whole idea of cold exposure and stimulation of the vagus nerve and says that this can actually ease yourself into stimulating your vagus nerve and calming your system down and creates better health and better understanding and better mental clarity after a very stressful event.

M: So, have a cold shower or breathe, and you’ll be able to reduce your stress. Is that kind of a summary of what we’re talking?

P: That’s pretty much it. Yeah.

M: Ok, I’m following. Laugh.

P: Laugh.

M: I got it. I got it!

P: Laugh! Took us a while to get there and lots of fancy words in between. I blame Marie.

M: I feel smarter.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Don’t ask me to repeat anything you just said.

P & M: Laugh.

M: But I feel smarter.

P: So, if any of our listeners want to go forth. I’ll get I’ll get this in the show notes. But you can look up Wim Hof and have a look at some of his stuff. They have been researching these claims in the last five years, and out of this research has come treatments for epilepsy. They insert, like a pacemaker into the vagus nerve, which stimulates the vagus nerve and helps people who suffer from epilepsy from having attacks. And they’re exploring this for other conditions, even down to Parkinson’s.

M: Interesting.

P: Yeah, so there is science behind this. So, the takeaway message is that if we can practise and be more aware of our breathing, we can actually breathe our way to better health and better happiness. And we did this a couple of weeks ago in one of our podcasts, where I asked everyone to do a little breathing exercise where we sat down and I asked everyone to take some belly breaths. Do you remember that one Marie?

M: Yeah. So, how much breathing do you have to do? How much like not normal breathing?

P: Laugh.

M: Visual… mindful breathing?

P: I’d have to look up some figures on that one, but it’s like anything. It’s about training, training the breath so that you can pull on this skill when you need it. So, if you feel like you’re just so pent up and you want to hit something because you’ve had a really bad day at work.

M: Because for some reason the idiots and my work are multiplying.

P & M: Laugh!

M: I don’t know if anyone else is experiencing this. Over time, there are more and more of them, I swear.

P: Laugh. We’re not naming Marie’s workplace in this episode.

M: Laugh.

P: Ugh, corporate. Corporate in general, laugh. So, if you’re dealing with annoying colleagues or just stress or you’ve got projects on or the C word is happening. If any of that’s going on, you can train yourself to recognise that and breathe in order to help reduce your stress response.

P: Definitely, yep. According to this, you can breathe your way out of it.

M: And does Ice Man, what’s his name? Wim Hoff. Talk about training yourself to breathe more deeply overall? Like, can you make this a subconscious behaviour? Can you train how you breathe in general?

P: Yes, yogis have been doing it for centuries.

M: So, yogis don’t only breathe deeply when they’re doing their exercises.

P: No, no they don’t.

M: They take that through their life. Do they breathe differently when they’re sleeping?

P: Laugh. Ooh, good question. That would be interesting. Well, it would be because there is a measurement of vagus nerve stimulation. So, you know, I would be interested to see the science behind it.

M: My watch tells me how deeply I sleep at night, how I breathe at night.

P: Aah!

M: It measures my breathing. I think there’s something, I think there’s different value in this. I know for myself that if I can tap into my breath when I’m involved in exercise, when I’m doing a particularly difficult workout. Sometimes I do tell myself, ‘control your breath, use your breath’ because that was, coming full circle, that was part of my training as a dancer, and it’s remarkable how it actually can. For me, it brings me very centred, and it makes me go. Yes, I can achieve this task that I’ve set for myself.

M: If I tried getting it in in volleyball. It would just be too much. There’s already so many things running through my head.

P & M: Laugh!

P: Which is why you’ve got to train it.

M: I think singing would be a great way…

P: Yeah, true.

M: You’re still thinking of a lot of things while you sing.

P: You are, which is why you need to train it so it happens naturally.

M: Yeah, yeah.

P: So, that’s the crux of it. And just as a finishing note, there is little exercise that you can do for this. A lot of people talk about belly breathing and how we should belly breathe and not chest breathe. We should breathe into our diaphragm, which is very true.

M: Yeah.

P: A lot of people associate belly breathing with blowing your belly out, and that’s actually not the best way to do belly breathing. The best way is to:

M: [whispers] I’m doing it right now.

P: Laugh. How do you feel, Marie?

M: Um… A little uncomfortable now!

P: Laugh.

M: But I think, yeah. I could do that.

P: I challenge you. I challenge you to try it and see how you go, laugh. There endeth the lesson.

M: Laugh. Thank you, Peter Furness.

P: Laugh.

M: Professor Furness.

P: Definitely not Professor!

M: It was a pleasure as always.

P & M: Laugh!

P: See what you’ve done?

M: Laugh!

P: Can’t take it back now. Laugh.

M: I’m still going to challenge you. Now you’ve gone the other way.

P: Laugh.

M: And I’m like… nah. Too much thinking, this is a podcast, Pete.

P: Where’s the gongs and incense and sarongs?

M & P: Laugh.

M: Exactly.

P: Laugh.

M: All right, well, I think we could all use a little bit of stress reduction in our lives at the moment. So, I will definitely be looking at breathing.

P: Yeah. Have a look at the website. See, if you can have a practise.

M: Okay. Will do, alright until next week.

P: Have a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

Please note that I get a small commission if you buy something from my site. Your support helps to keep this site going at no additional cost to you. Thanks!

How To Deal With Stress

by

woman stressing over work

How to Deal With stress – Wherever it Comes From for you 

According to recent studies on stress, 91% of Australians feel stressed about one or more aspects of their life. Around 450,000 workers in Britain believe work is making them sick, 86% of Chinese workers are stressed, and 77% of Americans experience stress which impacts their health.  

It’s a worldwide problem. Without healthy coping mechanisms, it can even have a serious impact on our physical health: 

  • A lower immune system and experiencing illness more often 
  • Tension headaches and migraines 
  • Insomnia, depression, and anxiety 
  • High blood sugar, blood pressure, and an increase risk of heart attack 
  • Tense muscles and a low sex drive (no one wants that!) 

It’s a horrible feeling. Sometimes it feels like stressors will never go away, like stress is consuming your life, or there’s no clear solution to make things easier. 

The good news? 

From work to finances, relationships, and everyday anxiety, there are positive, constructive, and super effective ways to manage stress. In this blog, we share how to deal with stress – no matter where it comes from for you. 

The Three Types of Stress: Acute, Episodic, and Chronic Stress 

Before we jump into how to deal with stress, it’s important to understand the three different kinds of stress and determine what kind of stress you’ve been dealing with. Here’s a quick run-down:  

  • Acute stress. This kind of stress is brief and often passes quickly. It is the most common kind of stress because it comes from reactive thinking – for example, you might be stressing about an upcoming event or deadline, certain situations, or demands from friends, family, and coworkers.  
     
    Stress is induced in the moment by negative thinking and can cause headaches, stomach aches, muscular pain, and moments of anxiety and depression. 
     
    While stress can come and go, it’s important to get the support you need in stressful times. If you find yourself becoming stressed more often, get in touch with your doctor or counsellor for support. 
     
  • Episodic stress. This occurs for people who experience acute stress frequently. You might feel rushed or pressured and feel your life is too chaotic. There are two kinds of people who are more likely to experience “episodic stress”; Type A people who are competitive, aggressive, impatient, and even aggressive, and; the “Worrier” who lives with excessive negative thoughts and can forecast a catastrophe well ahead of time.  
     
    Episodic stress can cause concentration issues, anger, depression, memory loss, fatigue, relationship problems, a compromised immune system, and much more. 
     
    If you’re experiencing episodic stress, it’s time to step in and contact your doctor for mental health support and develop some constructive stress management techniques. 
     
  • Chronic stress. This is the worst kind of stress possible. If chronic stress is left untreated, you can cause irreversible damage to your physical and mental health. People who have experienced abuse, poverty, unemployment, a dysfunctional family, substance abuse, or a broken marriage often experience chronic stress. 
     
    Chronic stress can lead to a feeling of hopelessness, can’t see an escape from the stress, and give up on looking for solutions. It can even be a change in the hardwiring of their neurobiology of the brain and body, so poor habits and negative thinking becomes ingrained in their bodies.  
     
    If you are experiencing chronic stress or know someone who might be, please seek professional help or call LifeLine on 13 11 14. You are not alone. 

How to Cope With Workplace Stress 

One of the biggest sources of stress reported worldwide is workplace stress. Some common stressors at work include: 

  • Not getting paid enough 
  • Working super long hours or unpaid overtime 
  • A huge workload and seemingly not enough hours in the day 
  • Unachievable, rolling deadlines 
  • Low levels of recognition or appreciation 
  • Few (or no) opportunities for career advancement 
  • Unclear instructions and feeling stuck
  • Work isn’t engaging or challenging – it’s not your passion 
  • There are conflicts with coworkers and an overall lack of support 
  • Management is harsh and setting unachievable standards 

The major problem with workplace stress is that it doesn’t just disappear when you go home. Workplace worries can follow you home, set up shop in your head, and refuse to pay rent.  

These stressors can even end up starring in your dreams, leading to a bad night’s sleep, fatigue, and a feeling of dread about having to do it all again the next day. 

Workplace stress can be hard to kick. A lot of people who don’t like their job end up with episodic stress, anger, frustration, and concentration problems. Luckily, there are a few easy things you can do to relieve stress in the workplace. 

Here are a few ideas on how to deal with stress from work: 

  1. Take a minute for some breathing exercises in times of extreme stress. It’s important to make time for relaxation, no matter where you are. After a stressful phone call, conversation, or even after serving a frustrating customer, take a moment to close your eyes, take some long, deep breaths, and try to disconnect from the world for a moment. It really helps to refresh your mood. 
     
  1. If possible, take a walk around the block or get out for lunch. Being stuck in a stressful situation or environment can be distressing. If possible, get out of the office for 10 minutes to half an hour for some fresh air. Studies have shown people who have gotten fresh air perform 20% better and have higher levels of serotonin. Get outside on your lunch break and refresh. 
     
  1. Talk to your boss about what’s going on. If something is bothering you about your workplace or position, book a meeting with your boss to discuss it. Nothing will change if you never bring it up, so lean on your boss for support – they might be able to help improve the situation. 
     
  1. Avoid alcohol, smoking, and substance abuse after work. It can be tempting to pour a glass of wine after a long, depressing, or irritating day at work to “take the edge off.” However, there’s a real danger of turning to the short-term relief of alcohol or drugs into an addiction. The short-term might feel great, but the long-term effects can be counterproductive – it can even make things worse. 
     
  1. Take time to recharge. Nothing cures workplace stress like a holiday. If your coworkers, workplace, or boss have been bringing you down, make sure to save up some annual leave and take an extended break to refresh and reevaluate what you want from your career. It might be time to move on – or ask for more from your boss. 

How to Deal With Financial Stress 

Around 62% of people report feeling stressed about their finances – even more so since the COVID-19 lockdown and restrictions. A lot of people have had their shifts cut. Others have lost their jobs completely. 

Sometimes, financial stress can come from simple unimportant things like purchasing “Secret Santa” presents around the holidays, or meeting the gift demands of family members. Other times, it can be more difficult. Sometimes, there’s not enough money to pay the rent.  

Financial stress is tough! But here are some ideas to help deal with money worries and stress: 

  1. Track your spending. One day it’s payday, the next your bank account is tapped out. It can happen in a matter of 24 hours, so it’s important to keep track of spending and create a budget for your daily or weekly spending. 
     
  1. Determine what’s making you stressed and create a plan. What is it that’s causing stress? What’s costing too much? What expenses can you cut out for a better bottom line? Sit down and think about things you can eliminate from your weekly spending, like that $6 cup of coffee from the cafe down the street, or the sneaky cheeseburger you snag on the way home from work. Create a plan for cutting down costs and review it once a fortnight to see if it’s working. 
     
  1. Avoid temptation. If spending is a big problem for you, make sure to steer clear of shopping centres, fast food restaurants, bottle shops, and maybe even social media – online shopping ads are a major budget killer, so keep social scrolling to a minimum. 
     
  1. Take a minute to remember what’s important. I know it’s frustrating sticking to a budget, especially when you’ve been drooling over the latest Nikes online. However, it’s important to remember the important things – like spending time with friends, getting into your hobbies, and working on personal relationships. You don’t need material objects to be happy! 
     
  1. Set goals – and remember, progress takes time. The worst part of financial stress is that there’s no quick fix. Building up savings takes time – it won’t just happen overnight, unless you win the lottery (good luck). Keep in mind that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you’ve got plenty of time to breathe, save, and get things back in order. 

Managing Stress and Anxiety in Everyday Life 

When you suffer from clinical depression and anxiety, it can be exceptionally hard to maintain stress. Even the little things can cause stress like loud noises, constant chatter at work, big crowds, running late, traffic, and more. Being too social can even cause stress and exhaustion.  

It’s easy to let these negative emotions overwhelm your mind and body on a daily basis. Here are some quick tips to help manage stress and anxiety: 

  1. Reach out and keep connected. On your bad days, make sure to reach out to someone close to you – a friend, a family member, or even a medical professional – and express how you’re feeling. Bottling up your negative thoughts and feelings can be harmful, so be sure to talk to someone about it. 
     
  1. Practice relaxation or meditation techniques. As I mentioned before, short breathing techniques can do wonders to relieve sudden bouts of anxiety. Find a quiet and comfortable spot at home, take a seat, close your eyes, and practice some deep, even breathing. Alternatively, keep your eyes open and identify three noises, three objects, and three colours around you. It will help keep your mind focused and relaxed. 
     
  1. Keep breathing. When you’re in the middle of a sensory overload, it feels almost impossible to calm down. However, it’s essential to keep breathing. Make it your mantra – “keep breathing” or “breathe in and breathe out” as you inhale through your nose for 3 – 5 seconds, then breathe out for as long as possible through your mouth. Again, this will keep you focused and help calm your heart. 
     
  1. Book in a workout every morning. Exercise pumps your body full of endorphins and makes you feel naturally happy. Book in a cardio session in the morning for an all day booster, or head to the gym after a long day to expel some stress, frustration, and energy on a punching bag. You’ll feel 10,000 x better, I promise! 
     
  1. Challenge your negative thinking. Depression and anxiety has a tendency to lie to you. It might think you’re weak or hopeless, but it’s simply not true. If these thoughts find themselves creeping into your brain, try looking at it another way – to quote Monty Python, “always look on the bright side of life.” Ask yourself for evidence. Ask yourself if you’d say these things to a friend. Cross-examine yourself, lawyer style. It’ll help cultivate more positive thinking and hopefully confidence! 

Coping with Family and Relationship Stress  

No one likes dealing with conflict – especially when it comes to friends, family members, and romantic partners. Most of the time, they’re part of your everyday life. When the norm is threatened, the fear of losing them starts to kick in – either fear or anger, frustration, and stress. 

Stressors can be external (like sudden unemployment) or internal (like a marriage breakdown). Here are a few examples of how to deal with family stress and relationship stress in a healthy, constructive way:  

  1. Recognise each other’s stress cues. Is something making you angry, short tempered, irritated, or stressed at home? There’s a good chance other people in your home are experiencing the same thing. It’s important to recognise when the other person is frustrated and know when to back down – ask them to do the same for you. 
     
  1. Turn to your own support system – or develop one ASAP. It’s essential to be open about your feelings, even if it’s with an outsider for the time being. For example, if you’re having troubles with your partner, you might turn to your friends for support. Alternatively, if it’s your friends bothering you, you might turn to a parent or partner. If you’re not ready to take the bull by the horns, make sure to vent and express your feelings with someone close to you. It can be very therapeutic! 
     
  1. Limit contact with toxic people. They say you can’t choose your family, or blood is thicker than water, blah blah blah… but that’s not quite true. You don’t have to continue torturing yourself and wasting your energy on toxic individuals. If you’re experiencing abuse, manipulation, and other poor treatment, attempt to limit your contact with this person. Again… It can be very therapeutic.  
     
  1. Conserve your energy for things you can control. There are some things you simply cannot change. It’s easy to get caught up worrying about the “what ifs” – for example, “what if Mum and Uncle Dave have a fight at the Christmas party?” – but it’s unnecessary stress. It’s important to let go of the “what ifs” and focus on the present. You can’t control Mum or Uncle Dave. Sometimes it’s okay to accept that something is not your problem or responsibility. 
     
  1. Listen to each other. The key to all healthy, long lasting relationships is communication and listening to each other. Listening to your partner, friend, or family member will make them feel cared and help you gain more perspective over their feelings. Ask them to do the same for you – but take turns, no yelling over the top of each other! 

No matter where you’re at with stress, it’s important to get professional help to balance things out 

Whether you’re experiencing work stress, financial stress, or general everyday anxiety, it’s essential to seek support and professional help. Voice your concerns. Share your thoughts. Be heard. Talking about your problems is therapeutic and sometimes it helps to get an outsider’s perspective. 

Take these tips on board, but make sure to seek professional help too! 

In the meantime, make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics, or sign up to my email newsletter for regular tips, info, and advice in your inbox.  

Sphere of Control and Chaos! (E77)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week Marie and Pete talk about your sphere of control and chaos, and how to focus on things you can control or should just let go. 

Show notes

Sphere of Control

Exercise in letting go.

  • Write down all your worries and concerns that you have right now.
  • Put a mark next to each one for:  
    • within your control,
    • within your influence, or
    • out of your control.
  • Acknowledge where most of your worries and concerns are and think about whether you should be letting them take up that space in your brain.
  • Read aloud the worries/concerns that are outside of your control and notice how they make you feel. How does your body react to those issues and concerns that are outside of your control? Analise them and try to look at them differently or reframe them.
  • The next step is hard, you need to make the decision to let them go.
  • Imagine putting them in a balloon and having them float away, this is hard for people who have never done visualisation before but well worth the effort.
  • Make this an annual event with a close friend or family member.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: Hey, hey.

P: And we’re back.

M: And we’re back.

P: (High voice) Hi Muz, how are you?

M: I am good. How are you?

P: I did sound like Mickey Mouse there. [Mickey Mouse voice] Hi Muz, how are you? Woo hoo!

M & P: Laugh!

M: I’m going back to the, like the thirties, the real original Mickey Mouse.

P: Yeah, the really high pitched Mickey Mouse.

M: My mind is on the steam train. [Steam boat!]

P: Yeah.

M: [Failed attempt at whistling] …

P: I’m going to let that go.

M & P: Laughter!

M: And how are you?

P: I’m going crazy, laugh.

M: Obviously. You’re in week three of lockdown, aren’t you? It only took two and a half weeks.

P: [Horror movie voice] The walls are bleeding.

M & P: Laugh!

P: I am going slightly so crazy. It’s not good for my mental health, laugh.

M: So, so far in lockdown. Because even though I’m up in Tamworth, I have been locked down because I was in Sydney within the last two weeks. So, been locked down up here. I have started growing four plants that I can’t pronounce, and I have no idea what I’m growing.

P: Laugh!

M: I have made rock cakes.

P: Oh, wow.

M: Which really brought back memories from being a child.

P: CWA recess lollies.

M: Right? They even had actual CWA jam on them, thank you very much.

P: Oh! Wow, wow.

M: It had a handwritten note with when it was made.

P: Ohh. My mum does that, ohh.

M: Laugh.

P: Memories, there so good.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Anyway! Getting onto the story.

M: We are talking about spheres of control –

P: And chaos!

M: Bah, Bow..

P: Ha, ha, ha! Chaos theory! [Extremely high-pitched voice] Everything is vibrating at very high frequencies.

M: We’re absolutely not talking chaos theory. That would be biting off way more than we could chew, laugh.

P: Yeah, laugh. Existential scientists would be raiding my house.

M: Mmm hmm. Yeah. I picture like the crew of Big Bang theory-

P: Yeah, pretty much.

M: – going “you’re wrong!”

P: Very much. But we’re not talking about that, we’re talking about the sphere of control. What is this supposed, sphere of control that you talk about, Marie? Enlighten me.

M: So, if you imagine an M&M-

P: Mmm, num num num.

M: – in the middle, so the smallest.

P: Ok.

M: And that is what you can control in the world.

P: Ok, yep.

M: And then you have an orange.

P: Wow…

M: The M&M is in the middle of the orange, right?

P: Ok.

M: This is a really bad analogy.

P: Laugh!

M: So, what you can control is the M&M, the orange is what you can influence.

P: Oh.

M: And then the orange is in a watermelon.

P: Woah!

M: And the watermelon represents everything else outside of your control and influence.

P: Oh, my lord. Are they all inside each other like a turducken?

M: Yes, like a turducken.

P: Ahh. Got it.

M: Yes. Now, where crazy things us humans.

P: Laugh.

M: And unfortunately, we are wired to worry. We’ve talked about wired for negativity wired to look out for us and our kind. And we have this nasty habit if it’s left unchecked of worrying and being anxious about things that are in the watermelon…

P & M: Laugh.

M: That are outside of our control and influence.

P: [Life coach/instructional voice] Be the watermelon. No! don’t be the watermelon.

M: Don’t be the watermelon. Leave the watermelon alone.

P: Laugh.

M: Yeah. What you should, in a controlled and measured way, worry and be anxious about is what you can control.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And I would argue that you should get through your worry and anxious phase quickly into action rather than dwelling in a negative mind space.

P: Yep.

M: What you can again spend time worrying about is the orange, what you can influence. But again, you need to give up a little bit of control there and understand that you may be able to influence things in that sphere, but they still may not go your way.

P: Oh.

M: And there’s nothing you can do about that sometimes.

P: Ok, all right, all right.

M: Everything else. Don’t worry about it. Let it go!

P: [Singing] Let it go, let it go…

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Laugh.

M: Now, that is far easier said than done.

P & M: Laugh!

M: For myself included.

P: So, it’s be the M&M. Don’t be the watermelon.

M: Yes.

P: And try to recognise the orange.

M: I really need to work on my stories before –

P: No, I like it. It’s working for me, it’s animated.

M: – we go on air.

P & M: Laugh!

M: So really, what we’re talking about is something that, if left unchecked, can lead to people having high anxiety and worrying unnecessarily. And if any of you have ever known someone who worries all the time, it can take over your life.

P: Definitely, that obsession over… and again, obsessions are one of the elements that are outside of your control.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: They’re unattainable. Why do we spend so much time worrying about it when we actually have no control over what it can do?

M: Yep, and not only that, if you’re worrying about all of those things, you can’t control your probably not moving through the concerns of issues that you can control and getting to the point where you actually just take some action and drive it to a conclusion that’s satisfying for you.

P: So, is this a case of distraction? Are we being distracted by our external worries or things outside of our immediate control?

M: It can be that. It can be distraction. There is always the procrastinator amongst us, laugh.

P: Yes, yes. Laugh.

M: So, it could be that. But a lot of people are not good with uncertainty.

P: Ahh.

M: And so, the fear of what could go wrong stops them from taking any action.

P: That’s beyond risk takers?

M: Absolutely. Generally, risk takers and just move forward.

P: Yep.

M: That’s a very big generalisation there.

P: Laugh.

M: But it’s the people who worry and who are anxious that we’re talking about here.

P: Hmm.

M: And day to day, if you’re on a healthy mental health spectrum, people worry and they get anxious all the time. But they move through it quickly and they don’t dwell. And they tend to have enough self-understanding to know when to let some worry go and just go ‘Meh, what are you going to do about it.’

P: Yeah.

M: You know covid, ‘what are you going to do about it.’

P: Mmm, yep.

M: Covid has been paralysing for some people.

P: Mmm, definitely.

M: Yeah. So, we do have an exercise you can do –

P: Ooh, audience participation. Yay.

M: – if you find yourself too tied to that watermelon.

P: Laugh. I love the watermelon analogy. You’ve got to keep that in, that’s brilliant, laugh.

M: Oh dear.

P: I can just see a big room full of people with a watermelon and an orange and an M&M just going, “What the?”

M: Laugh!

P: Where are we going with this? And then you’ve got to start stuffing things inside each other, it’s gonna get messy. It’s gonna be awesome.

M: Laugh. Oh, dear. All right. Well, the exercise.

P: Laugh.

M: So, if you find that you are anxious just as a rule.

P: Yep.

M: Or that you’re feeling a lot of anxiety or worry at this particular point because we can definitely have triggers or things in our life, periods of our life where we’re more anxious or worried than others.

P: Yes, I agree.

M: Particularly if there’s a lot of change happening around you. This is a great little exercise. So, the first thing you want to do is get a pen and paper and write down all the things in your work and personal and different lives, all of your life, laugh.

P: Laugh, ok.

M: All the things in your life that are crappy or that are not going well or that you’re not happy with.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: So, for me right now, if I had to do this thing on my list would be: I’m not getting enough exercise.

P: Yep.

M: I’m feeling tired from work a lot of the time, you know, and so on and so forth.

P: Ok.

M: And so, you write them all down and then next to them. You’re going to write M&M, orange or watermelon.

P: Laugh!

M: In my control –

P: Still laughing.

M: Within my control. [M&M]

P: Okay,

M: Within my influence; [Orange]

or Outside of my control and influence. [Watermelon]

P: Can we just digress a little bit there Marie, and can we define the difference between control and influence?

M: Sure. So, I can control what time I wake up in the morning.

P: Yeah.

M: 100% control over that.

P: Ok.

M: I can. Some people may not be able to.

P: Yep, ok.

M: I can’t control how high my rent is. I can potentially influence it by having a conversation and seeing if someone can reduce my rent because I’ve lost my job during covid.

P: Ok, yeah.

M: So, I could influence that possibly.

P: Mmm yeah.

M: There are steps I can take.

P: Yeah.

M: Or I could move house.

P: Ok.

M: I cannot at all – The watermelon is covid a great example.

P: Yep.

M: I can’t control that, outside of my control and influence. Can’t do anything about it.

P: Yeah, yeah.

M: All right. The influence is a bit, it’s the one in between, the grey area, where you may be able to do a whole range of things that still don’t lead to any change in situation.

P: Mmm hmm. Yep, ok.

M: All right, so you are going to write your list, and then you’re going to mark next to it control, influence or outside of control and influence, and have a quick look at what the majority of your complaints and issues fall into.

P: Ok, yeah.

M: So, that’s a good just first step to see whether your anxiety or complaints or annoyances or things that are… it’s like having a million thorns stuck in your hand just getting to you in your brain.

P: Yep.

M: Whether you should actually be letting them take up that space in your brain.

P: Right.

M: The complaints that are outside of your control read them out loud and notice how they make you feel.

P: Oh, that’s a good one.

M: And if you’ve ever done meditation, this will line up quite nicely.

P: What are your feeling when you say them?

M: Yeah.

P: Tap into that feeling.

M: Are your shoulders tight? Do you breathe differently?

P: Hmm.

M: How does your body react to those issues and concerns that are outside of your control.

P: Yes.

M: And really get to know them. Have a look at them, and are there any of them that you can look at differently? Reframe.

P: Be honest in assessing.

M: Mmm hmm. Yep. And once you’ve had a look through them and really looked under the covers at what they are and how they make you feel.

P: Ok,

M: The big work is, can you let them go?

P: Oh! …How do you do that? Laugh.

M: Once your rational brain has written them down, identified them, you’ve acknowledged the way they make you feel, but you know that they’re outside of your control. Can you let any of them go?

P: Mmm.

M: A great way to do this is with a bit of visualisation.

P: I like this one.

M: Yeah. What you can do is picture in your brain that you’re putting your concern, so covid, into a balloon. Blow up your balloon, you pop it in there and you let it go… You don’t blow it up sorry, you’ve got helium, sorry.

P: Laugh.

M: You let it go up and watch it float away and disappear.

P: Ahh. It’s like the Disney movie Tangled. When they do the lights, they send them all up into the sky.

M: Yes, yes, the Chinese lights.

P: And there’s a festival in Thailand, isn’t there where they do that as well? With, um, with I’m not sure if I’m quoting the right one is the Lantern Festival? [Magical Lanterns Festival in Thailand]

M: They definitely do it in Vietnam.

P: Oh, sorry Vietnam. My apologies.

M: I have a feeling it might be part of quite a few different cultures.

P: Mmm, mmm. It’s a lovely image because it’s a real releasing and letting it go. It’s like going into it into a big paddock and screaming stuff out to get it out of your body. I like the peaceful image of a balloon and, you know, writing things on a piece of paper and then watching it waft off into the nether lands and saying goodbye to my lost long lost obsession.

M & P: Laughter!

M: Your anxiety or something that was keeping you up at night.

P: Yes.

M: Yeah, and there’s power in writing these things down.

P: Yeah. I was just about to say the exact same thing Muz, because there’s so much power in that.

M: If Pete can do it?

P: Yeah, laugh.

M: Yeah, again if you’re prone to anxiety and worry, sit down with the pen and paper is the first step.

P: Mmm.

M: Really just labelling it, understanding it, mucking in and getting dirty and feeling it and putting a name on it.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: All of that stuff is really valuable to then being able to let it go and understanding the subconscious reaction that was maybe happening in your brain. Making it conscious and letting your rational brain throw it away.

P: Yeah.

M: And go “Actually, that’s really silly, I can’t do anything about that.”

P: Not necessary.

M: Can’t do anything about Covid.

P: Yeah. So, find your path through.

M: Now there’s a few things in there –

P: I’m going to jump in.

M: Yeah, I was going to throw to you, laugh.

P: Yeah, laugh. See we’re in sync tonight Muz.

M: Laugh.

P: I’m going to jump in because I came across this wonderful little concept and this is to do with the sphere of influence. So, this is the orange section of the Watermelon M&M and Orange scenario, and this is the concept of Sisu and Sisu actually comes from the Finnish culture in Scandinavia, and it’s described as stoic determination.

M: Mmm.

P: Now, apparently, the Finns take this as a bit of a national pride in terms of being able to display this quality in moments of great, great trial or great adversity. There isn’t actually an English equivalent for sisu, but they say the word gutsy invokes the same sort of character. So, it’s that stoic determination. It’s standing in the face of great adversity and taking action.

M: Mmm.

P: And this action may not actually be the best step, but it’s a step. It’s a step forward. So even by taking this action and adhering to it, you may continue to fail. It may still not bring about the right result.

M: You’re not selling it for me, Pete.

P: Hang on.

M: Laugh.

P: Go with me here. Come with here.

M: Laugh, alright. Alright, I’m with you, the orange, go!

P: Laugh, but it’s that idea of taking action and taking a step. And with that step comes refinement. So, you go ‘okay well, that didn’t work, but let’s change it slightly, let’s approach it from a slightly different perspective.’ And it’s actually taking control by doing actions and steps. Eventually, you reach that point where you’ve taken the right step that brings you out of the sphere of orange and into the sphere of M&M.

M: Laugh.

P: Was that nicely tied up?

M: It’s not out of the sphere of Orange into M&M. Because you still can’t change their external factors? What you are getting out of, is that place of anxiety because you’re shifting from the purely emotional, primordial, gutsy reaction to a controlled, rational thinking, proactive action, and that really can get you out of that anxious space.

P: Yes, definitely.

M: That reactionary space, yep.

P: And again because you’re taking a level of control.

M: Yes.

P: And that’s the most important part of that, that concept.

M: I love it. Sisu.

P: Sisu. Yes. Not to be confused with the character out of Raya and The Last Dragon, which Marie and I both watched this week, and loved.

M: Laugh. Mmm hmm.

P: Who was also called Sisu. [The last dragon – Sisudatu. Nicknamed Sisu]

M: Good movie, you should watch it.

P: Yeah.

M: Even if you’re not five.

P & M: Laugh.

P: There was another reading that I did around this subject, which was done by John Leland, who’s a journalist in America, and he’s written a book called Happiness Is a Choice You Make, and he talks about framing and how you can frame different ideas. And for me, this was the glass half full/ half empty scenario. Marie, you don’t look quite on board with that analogy, but you sort of understand where we’re going with this idea-

M: Oh, definitely.

P: – of looking, looking at issues in a certain light and trying to find instead of trying to find the positive or negative, find the element that you can control.

M: Yep.

P: So, there’s got to be one element in the issue, and there are lots of elements that you may not have any influence over. But there’ll be one that you do or one that you can actually exert some control on. So reframing that idea and looking at a problem in a slightly more creative or lateral way than being linear could possibly bring about a different approach, which again gives you a sense of control, gives you a sense of action, which reinforces your process of addressing it as opposed to being stuck in a circle of anxiety.

M: Yeah, absolutely. And we’ve spoken before about reinforcing neural pathways.

P: Mmm.

M: So for all of those people who are experiencing high levels of anxiety, particularly with covid, which absolutely not judging.

P: Mmm.

M: It is completely fair to be experiencing high levels of anxiety right now.

P: Yeah.

M: If you are experiencing high levels of anxiety and you let that run rampant, what you’re doing is reinforcing anxiety as a way to cope with life in general.

P: Yeah.

M: So, covid may move on.

P: Mmm.

M: We may get herd immunity with vaccines. Borders may reopen, you might win lotto. Everything will be great. And what you’ve done is reinforced that neural pathway that makes you go to anxiety as your default.

P: Yep, exactly.

M: So, for every time that you’ve gone to anxiety as your default reaction over the last year or over your life or over a period in your life, you’ve got to do the exact same amount of work on the flip side to get yourself out of there. And reframing, as you said Peter, glass half full glass or half empty –

P: Mmm.

M: – that reframing is a great way to start to break or build that new neural pathway.

P: And it is breaking that other habit. It’s finding an intervention that actually works against that negative habit.

M: Yep. And if that habit has been reinforced for a very long time. You have got to put just as much work in, unfortunately.

P: Yep, totally agree.

M: I’m going to take 10 days, 20 days, 30 days. It will take just as long to make that new neural pathway the stronger and more dominant one.

P: Yep, unfortunately. Laugh, nothing’s ever easy.

M: [Exasperated voice] Nothing is ever easy.

P: Laugh.

M: Unless you’re a dragon called Sisu.

P: Laugh! You could have a dragon called Sisu, that makes a difference. I’d do that, laugh.

M: I’d do that.

P: So, we’ve got homework Marie?

M: Homework?

P: Yeah. Didn’t you have homework for us?

M: We went through the –

P: Oh ok.

M: We’ve done the homework.

P: So, we’ve done the homework. We’re going out. We’re writing out our issues. We’re addressing the M&M and the Orange.

M: Labelling them.

P: Labelling them, putting them in a balloon and floating them up in the air, laugh.

M: Before you do that, though. Really look at how they make you feel. Say them out loud and identify the ones to let go.

P: It’s going to be ridiculous for some people who have never done visualisation or that kind of action before. You’re going to feel stupid. And yes, it’s good for you.

M: Let me just say as the cynic on this show, you wouldn’t catch me dead doing these.

P: Laugh, that’s it.

M: There is a scientific theory behind this, but there’s no chance in hell that I would be doing it.

P: Laugh.

M: I would be stubborn and dig my heels in and be a cranky old fart until I died before I was visualising stuff in balloons. I have to throw that out there.

P: We’re so doing it. I’m coming to Tamworth and we’re doing it. I’m so going to come and make you do this and we’re going to make this an annual thing. We’re going to have a balloon night once every year.

M: Although, a visualisation of balloons because releasing actual balloons is bad for the environment and animals choke on them.

P: It is, yeah.

M: Alright.

P: On that note, folks imagine balloons have fun, fun with it, and we hope you’re all going well and staying strong and safe during this time.

M: And that you have a happy and safe week, we’ll see you next time.  

P: Bye.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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The Gut-Brain Connection

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Research Shows the Gut-Brain Connection is Key to Our State of Mind 

Our body, like the environment, is a diverse and complex ecosystem in which everything is inextricably connected. In the rush of our day to day lives, the truth is that that many of us take this for granted. We fail to recognise the cause and effect of our decisions and ignore the impact our actions have on our bodies and our lives. Yet increasingly, it is becoming apparent that if you want to achieve mental wellbeing or if you experience mental health issues, sticking your head in the sand is no longer an option. The latest research is showing that what we eat is tied to our mental health, impacting our behaviour, emotions and feelings.   

Some of you may have heard the stomach referred to as our “second brain.” This is backed by the latest research showing that what we eat has a direct impact on both our physiology and psychology, proving there is a direct correlation between food and our happiness. It is vital to understand that research done on this subject doesn’t mean that merely changing your diet will improve your mood. Research does suggest, however, that we need to understand the “gut-brain” connection and the misconceptions about where chemicals responsible for our mood emanate.  

Understanding our Hedonistic Tendencies 

We’ve all had bad days when all we want to do when we get home is order take-out and binge on wine, chips, ice-cream [insert your guilty pleasure here]. We all know that eating certain foods can provide instant gratification and help soothe the soul. And culturally, we are conditioned to use food as a treat for good behaviour and achievement – how often have you heard a frustrated parent say: “If you eat your dinner, you can have dessert.” Families celebrate around food, and ‘special’ food is reserved for special occasions. Yet in a world of low-priced junk-food and convenience shopping, many of us can find ourselves eating ‘special’ foods daily.  

For those who experience depression or struggle with mental wellness, eating what we want is only a temporary way to achieve satiation and create a fleeting sense of satisfaction. The fact is that the moment food is consumed and hits our body’s digestive system, a complex process begins that determines our deeper state of mind. And, when you include into the mix the proliferation of psychotropic drugs developed to treat mental illness, the result is a rise of misconceptions about how to find happiness.   

Common Misconceptions About Where Happiness Emanates 

Generally speaking, most people assume that our emotions and moods are the result of chemical reactions in the brain, which makes complete sense since psychiatrists and psychologists – and the pharmaceutical industry – have been touting this theory for centuries. Based largely on years of theoretical evidence, this is the reason why psychotropic drugs are often used to treat depression. However, a relatively new field of study is telling a completely different story about the root cause of depression, concluding that the gut is where the journey begins when it comes to our state of mind.  

One naturally occurring chemical in our body, serotonin, is primarily responsible for our emotions and happiness, among other things. It is a common misconception that this vital chemical messenger or neurotransmitter, exists in the brain. The fact is that 90 percent of the body’s serotonin is produced in the gut. In a study conducted by two University of California – Los Angeles biologists, Elaine Hsiao and Thomas Fund, it was found that specific gut bacterium detect and transport serotonin into bacterial cells, which than travel to the brain. Furthermore, Hsiao and Fund determined that when there is an imbalance in gut-bacterium, which is impacted directly by what we eat and anti-depressants, serotonin levels are significantly lowered. In layman’s terms, the study supports the premise directly connecting our diet and proper nutrition to our emotional wellbeing.  

As part of their study, when the researchers added a popular antidepressant, they found that bacterium transported significantly less serotonin. “Previous studies from our lab and others showed that specific bacteria promote serotonin levels in the gut,” said Fung. “Our new study tells us that certain gut bacteria can respond to serotonin and drugs that influence serotonin, like anti-depressants. There is a unique form of communication between bacteria and our own cells through molecules traditionally recognized as neurotransmitters.”  

When the team added a popular anti-depressant with bacterium, it resulted in lower levels of the transfer of serotonin to the brain.  The team’s research aligns with a growing number of studies reporting that antidepressants can alter gut microbiota.  

The Science Behind Food and Mood 

“We tend to separate our brain from the rest of our body, but good health means good holistic health – from head to toe,” said Dr. Gabriela Cora, a board-certified nutritional psychiatrist, recently said in a Medium article investigating the connection between diet and emotions. “Why wouldn’t we think eating well would also impact our mental health?” 

Our gastrointestinal tract is home to billions of bacteria – good and bad – that influence the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin as well as dopamine. The difference between the two is that while serotonin is generally associated with how one processes emotions, dopamine is linked more closely with pleasurable experiences and, conversely, when inhibited, results in low motivation, one of the key indicators of depression. Together, having an equilibrium in the levels of serotonin and dopamine has a direct impact on our piece of mind. Conversely, when one or both are out of sync, it can create an internal turmoil that wreaks havoc on our mental state.  

So, where and how does food come into play? Why is eating well so important? Eating healthy food (think the opposite of junk food) promotes the growth of good bacteria, which positively affects positive neurotransmitter production and sends constructive messages to the brain. According to Dr. Cora, “when you stick to a diet of healthy food, you’re setting yourself up for fewer mood fluctuations, an overall happier outlook, and an improved ability to focus.” 

There is no shortage of diets or food regimens from which to choose but few of them reference an impact on mental health. In general, most are focused on losing weight or on living a more balanced life, both of which are positive. One common denominator among a majority of these programs that does impact depression is removing the intake of excessive amounts of sugar and refined carbohydrates.  

Additionally, according to a Psychology Today article written by Dr. Mahmoud Ghannoum, Ph.D., there are numerous studies indicating that probiotics can reduce depression in a manner comparable to conventional prescription medications.  

Trust Your Gut 

It would be easy to relegate solving mental health issues solely to what you eat. Everyone is different and the degree to which one experienced depression or anxiety varies and involves numerous factors, both physiological and psychological. If you are struggling to find greater happiness, trust your gut and seek professional help if you feel it is necessary. It is equally important to take control of your own happiness. To do this, you can work to develop healthy habits and become more knowledgeable about proactive steps you can take on your own to become happier!  

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!