Are you Making These 3 Happiness Mistakes?

Could you be Subconsciously Hurting Your Happiness Levels With These 3 Happiness Mistakes?

Arguably, everyone wants to be happy. Yet it’s not something we teach in school or around the dinner table. There’s no easy fix and no pill (that’s legal or sustainable anyway). But, don’t fret, there is good news. The relatively new field of positive psychology teaches us that it’s possible to positively affect your own happiness through self-care habits and a positive mindset.

But what if you’re doing all that and you’re still not happy, what if you’re accidentally sabotaging your own happiness? Check out these three happiness mistakes you’re making that could be hurting your happiness levels.

Three Common Happiness Mistakes

1. Comparing Yourself to Others

There’s an idea called social comparison theory that goes something like this: we are all biologically wired to try to understand ourselves and how we fit within the world around us.

How this plays out in real life is that you might feel that others around you are less successful, less accomplished, less pretty or they have fewer friends. On the flip side, you might be thinking everyone around you is prettier, smarter, richer, happier, has more friends, better health or better jobs.

Making comparisons to others is natural and normal, but the problem occurs when you compare up. This can lead to negative feelings, such as envy, poor self-esteem or unhappiness – which is the opposite of what you want to feel if you’re trying to be happier.

In the 21^st century, the biggest and easiest trap is comparing your life to others’ lives on social media. A friend’s one moment of happiness can become a trigger for everything that is missing in your life. It’s a trap many of us have fallen into, thinking that others’ perfect-looking Insta lives are an actual representation of their real lives, and then feeling like our lives don’t match up.

The simple lesson here is to stop comparing your life to others. It’s easier said than done, I know, but half the battle is being aware of your behaviour. Remember, you have different values and have made different choices from other people (and that one Facebook moment you’re coveting because you think is perfect probably wasn’t so good anyway!).

A great tip to remember: if you see something on social media that makes you feel ‘less than,’ just stop and think about what matters to you. Then use that as motivation and to provide hope. Set or reaffirm your goals, then get to work on a project or tasks to meet those goals.

2. Spending too Much Time on Social Media

Social media can bring us together. It helps people to feel connected and share in laughs and good times. However, many, many studies, including this recent one, have found that passively scrolling through social media can have negative effects on people. In fact, for this reason, I wrote about how to do a social media detox not too long ago.

The simple truth is that social connection is really important to our happiness levels. This means interacting with people – real people – particularly in a face to face setting. This doesn’t mean mindlessly watching other people’s posts or reading random articles on social media.

You might feel like you’re being social – it’s called ‘social media’ after all – but it’s a lie. Scrolling through social media is something else altogether. In fact, if you’re intending on being social, even text messages and emails won’t cut it.

So, even though it’s more effort to get off the couch at the end of a busy day, make sure you schedule in some time to see and interact with real people – even if it’s at a 1.5m distance. Put down your phone and grab a drink after work, meet someone for coffee in the park, or jump on a video call with friends from out of state. Your happiness levels will thank you for it.

3. Not Prioritising Your Happiness

Another classic happiness mistake many people make is when work or family life gets really busy, they skip a gym session or cancel plans with friends. Yet, a recent study showed that the most resilient people during COVID have been those who practice self-care activities such as meditation, exercise and prayer. These people have weathered the storm and been the most positive and upbeat.

The irony is that we need our resiliency and happiness the most during times of stress, yet we cut out the activities that bring us resiliency and happiness in a misguided attempt to reduce our stress levels. It’s time to stop!

So, when things get busy and you’re stressing out, make sure that you push back on the right things, not the wrong things. Or if you just have to pitch in during a particularly busy time of year, make sure it doesn’t become a habit (a few weeks max!) and that you negotiate for some time off or shorter work weeks following the busy period.

Remember, you get one life on this planet, and it goes quickly… why would you want to be unhappy for it if you could choose otherwise? Take control and stop doing these happiness mistakes today!

Related reading: Why You Need A Social Media Detox Now

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