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Home » Finding Happiness & Resiliency » Page 12

Finding Happiness and Resiliency

Finding happiness and resiliency is about having balance across three areas in your life: community & connection; health & wellbeing; and meaning & purpose.

Stress Reduction Lessons from Marie Kondo

01/04/2020 by Marie

Why everything in your home should have a purpose and how to find joy

Have you ever come home from a busy day at work and taken a look at the piles of laundry that need folding, the stacks of papers on the dining room table and the general clutter everywhere and felt your stress levels get even worse? All that clutter and stuff can just seem like a never-ending to-do list that bugs you every time you walk into the house.

Well, you’re not just imagining it, research shows that clutter and mess can really impact our stress levels. Which probably explains the international sensation Marie Kondo, who has helped millions of people tidy up and, in the process, find joy and reduce stress. So what lessons from Marie Kondo can we apply to our own lives?

Recently, I spoke to certified KonMari consultant and founder of Neatly Awesome, Pilar Llorente who is one of only eight certified Konmari consultants in Australia. She says that the things we hold on to often have a deeper meaning in our minds, and that’s why she uses a holistic approach to help clients get rid of clutter and chaos.

Controlling the Chaos

“All that physical clutter becomes mental clutter as well,” says Pilar. “So, if we have things in our homes that we don’t need, use or love, our minds are probably full of those things too.”

According to Pilar, it’s a problem that many people face, and it just snowballs until you feel that you are not in control of your stuff, which is stressful. But when you can go through your stuff and clean not just your physical space but also your mental space, and you focus on what’s really important, it can bring real calm and peace.

In fact, the best part of the Konmari method, according to Pilar is the spiritual and emotional outcomes.

“I remember I had a client, and we were going through the Komono stage [see below] and I said, ‘wow, you have lots and lots of plates.’ She said, ‘Those are for very important people (…) I don’t want to use them every day.’ But then she had a lot of plates that were a bit old and chipped, and I said ‘how would you feel about using your special dinnerware every day?’ And she said, ‘no no no, I’m scared that if use it every day, it may break and all those memories I have will be broken too.’ And I said, ‘the memories will always be there, you don’t need the actual object (…) Imagine if you used that dinnerware every single day, then every single day you will remember all those memories. And don’t you feel special enough to use these every day?’ And her eyes just lit up and she was like ‘OH! You are right!’”

Although there are many lessons from Marie Kondo outlined in her show and her books, here’s a look at 5 steps to get started on your decluttering journey.

Lessons from Marie Kondo: 5 steps to declutter your home and your mind

So, where do you begin when it comes to decluttering your home? There are consultants, like Pilar, who are trained to guide you through what can be a very emotional journey. Alternatively, if you want to go it alone, there are five areas Marie Kondo says you need to tackle.

STEP 1: Clothes

Start by putting all your clothes on the bed. Pick up each item one at a time, and if that item doesn’t bring you joy or have a very practical and critical purpose, you should put it into the “toss” pile.

STEP 2: Books

Next is books. Here the rule is simple: everything needs a home. If you have space for a huge book collection, that’s great. But if you don’t have a space for every book, then it’s time to make some tough calls and get rid of some.

STEP 3: Paper

Today, a lot of our paperwork is online, but many of us still have piles of old bills and paperwork laying around. Again, go through the lot. Shred old documents, and neatly file those you have to keep.

STEP 4: Komono

“Komono” means everything in your bathroom, kitchen, garage and miscellaneous items. This step is less about joy and more about practicality. Tip everything out into a pile and only keep the things you need and use.

STEP 5: Sentimental items

Last but not least are the sentimental items, which are the hardest to let go of, and why this step is last. By this point, you should have accustomed your mind to letting things go, so it’s a bit easier to let go of the Mother’s Day card you received when your kid was 6, and the movie ticket stub from your first date with your husband of 15 years. At this step, you should be deciding which items to display, which to store and which things can go.

Hopefully these lessons from Marie Kondo help you to get some control back in your life!

To hear the full interview, click here.


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Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, chaos, clutter, curiosity, happiness, inspiration, joy, Konmari, Marie Kondo, mess, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction, stress, tidy

Where are you on the Coronavirus Change Curve?

29/03/2020 by Marie

This week I was interviewed for a podcast on resiliency. I wrote down some notes before the interview, which ended up going a bit off script, so I had all this content and nothing to do with it… hence the following article which is now a Q&A with myself! So, if you want to know about the Coronavirus Change Curve and how to maintain your resiliency during this unique time in our human history, read on.

Having resiliency… what does that mean?

Simply put, resiliency is our ability to bounce back when things go wrong or are bad.

It doesn’t mean that resilient people don’t cry or get angry or feel pain – it’s really important not to bury those emotions, when things are bad; you’ve got to process them. It does mean that resilient people process quicker, they’re less likely to get overwhelmed by those feelings and get stuck there, so they move on faster.

How are Balance and Happiness Related to Resiliency?

I’ve been interviewing people all around the world to understand why some people are resilient, and others not. Or why we’re resilient one day, and not the next. My research is showing that there are 3 things that resilient people have:

  1. Firstly, they have close social bonds, this means they have three or more close people they feel they can depend on.
  2. Secondly, they have purpose or meaning, so they have long term goals and a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
  3. Thirdly, they prioritise their own physical and mental wellbeing. Now this differs person to person – it could be going for hikes, or extreme gym workouts, getting 8-hours of sleep and drinking lot of water – there’s no right answer, except that they have built and always maintain those good habits, particularly when things get busy or stressful.

So back to the original question… There is such a wealth of research now in the positive psychology space on how to be happy, and it turns out that those 3 pillars are so integral to happiness as well.

The last one is balance – which gets a bit of a bad wrap as a new age catchword. But essentially, my research is showing that you can’t only do one or two out of the three foundations, you have to have balance across the three, which is a bit of a wake-up call for a lot of people. You are just as much in danger if you’re a workaholic as if you’re unemployed!

Coronavirus Has Put Many of us in a Danger Zone

As I just mentioned, balance is key, and a lot of us are out of balance right now, which means a lot of people are in a danger zone right now – they’re not in a good place for resiliency and they’re at risk of feeling out of control emotions, or being overwhelmed by emotions or even of depression, particularly the longer they’re out of balance.

For instance:

  • If you’ve lost your job, aside from financial stress that brings, for most people that means you’ve lost your purpose or meaning, and sometimes your identity too. And the statistics show that a 1 in 5 people who lose their jobs become depressed if they don’t get another job within 6 months.
  • If you’re self-isolating, particularly if you live alone, that means you may have lost your social connections. And again, the statistics paint a grim picture, in fact, the World Economic Forum had labelled loneliness an epidemic. So, we’ve got more people living alone than ever before in human history, and supposedly loneliness is as toxic as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • Lastly, you’ve got a whole lot of lucky people who kept their jobs but they’re now adjusting to working from home 100 per cent of the time. And one of the common traps I’m seeing is that people are spending hours sitting at their computers, and they’re not moving. And we all now know that sedentary lifestyles and sitting for long times is really bad for you – it even increases your chances of cardiovascular disease and cancer.

3 Tips to Re-gain Your Balance

It’s time for the good news. I’m sick of all the doom and gloom! Here are some really practical things you can do to boost your resiliency through all this.

  • If you don’t have a job, you need to set a long term goal and work towards it. Think of things you can master, like a new language or new instrument, launch a new website, or complete a good DIY project that will take a few days, or start a new course on one of the many free online learning platforms, like EdX which has courses from some of the top universities in the world. Try to think of long-term activities that will make you feel proud when you’ve accomplished them.
  • If you’re at home alone, make a point to video chat with someone every day, and just a side point, mindless scrolling on social media is not connecting with people, in fact it has the opposite effect.
  • And if you are now working from home, make a deal with yourself that you will stand and walk for every phone call or video conference – people are being far more accepting now.

The Coronavirus Change Curve

We’re all just getting used to a new normal, so during this time of change it’s really important to keep focused on those three resiliency foundations: close social bonds, meaning and purpose, and healthy mind and body. If you don’t look after yourself first, you can’t look after others.

Also, it’s worth pointing out that we’re all going through change right now, and it’s leading to both positive and negative emotions, which are normal.

Perhaps the best way to understand what we’re all going through is to look at the change curve, which was originally created by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969 to describe the stages of grief. Today, we use this same model to show the stages that people go through when they experience any crisis or major change.

Here’s a look at the Coronavirus Change Curve.

Coronavirus Change Curve

The first step to moving on is to understand your own journey. It’s worth poiting out here that not everyone goes through each stage, and some people spend longer in one stage than in others, while others skip some stages altogether.

In Australia, as a society, we seem to be moving onto sadness at the moment, and maybe even some acceptance. But, we’re living in an uncertain and extremely volatile world at the moment, so it’s possible that other events, such as an economic downturn, would take us back to the beginning of the curve again.

What stage do you think you’re in?

What will the future look like after Coronavirus?

Once we get through the uncertainty of the Coronavirus Change Curve and this new world we’re adjusting to, I’m really hopeful for the future.

I truly think we’re going to learn a lot of really good lessons from the next few months. You see for too long we’ve been fighting against the Change Storm. We’ve been too busy, too stressed, and it’s overwhelming and it’s been making us sick. I mentioned loneliness before, but there’s also burnout and chronic stress, and anxiety, and it crosses all demographic categories.

I think that this forced isolation is going to teach us to have to explore boredom and get creative, which research shows both lead to increases in happiness. It will teach us how to unplug, and re-connect with family. It will help us to value the simpler things in life, and to slow down a bit. In short, it will bring us a lot of joy.

I was talking to a colleague this week who mentioned that she had been baking with her kids and they’d started a garden together and she had really loved spending the quality time with them. That normally would have been spent on driving to and from afterschool sports and activities and commuting to and from work and on the million acitivities we feel we have to do every day and week.

So, I’m hopeful for the future. If we can get through the next few months I think you’ll find we come out stronger and possibly even healthier (as long as you didn’t only horde cookies when you went shopping).

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: happy, resilience, resiliency

3 Steps to Take Back Control of Your Emotions

25/03/2020 by Marie

Is COVID-19 making you stressed, anxious or lonely? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

Since December 2019, the world has watched as COVID-19 spread from a local marketplace in the province of Wuhan, China to cover every corner of the world.

It has impacted us all. Many of us have cancelled future travel plans or been worried about how to get home from current holiday travel. Others have lost their jobs or been stood down from work, often with no idea of when, or if, they’ll go back to work. Many people are struggling with the isolation of having to work from home and following social distancing rules. And we’re all still scratching our heads about the toilet paper.

And that doesn’t even take into account the people who have caught the virus, whose lives have been turned upside down at best, and who are at risk of dying at worst.

We’ve seen the best in humans and the worst in humans (again, fighting over toilet paper? Really people, get it together!) and the only thing we can say is yes, these are most definitely unprecedented times.

The worst part is that all of it is out of our control. All of it except how we respond – that is 100 per cent within your control.

So, if you’re sick of being at the mercy of the latest fatalistic news broadcast, it’s time to take back control of your emotions! Here are three areas you can focus on to take back control of your emotions during these stressful times.

Remember, as author Stephen Covey said, “The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”So, if you want to be happier or reduce stress, anxiety and negative emotions, pick a few of the below research-backed options that work for you, and schedule them into your diary to make them habits.

3 steps to taking back control of your emotions during difficult times

Practice Self care

Your health and wellbeing are critical to your happiness. Luckily, there is a wealth of information about how to make small changes to your life to make it healthier and improve your wellbeing. Start by practicing self care to take back control of your emotions:

  • Get outside in the sun and/or into nature, studies shows that spending time by the sea makes people happier. Also just being outdoors makes you happier — preferably in a non-urban environment, but hey, we’ll take what we can get! Studies show that time outside in nature, especially among trees, significantly reduces stress and anxiety, improves your mood and energy, and boosts your immunity!
  • Do some light exercise, like going for an evening walk, or just get outside with a pet or your kids. If you’re working from home, be especially conscious of not sitting for too long, which has been associated with increased mortality!
  • Drink plenty of water and get 8-hours of sleep
  • Hug your partner/ significant other, or spend 5 minutes cuddling with a pet
  • Practice self-compassion. Give yourself a break! Constantly aiming to be better is exhausting and focusing on what’s ‘wrong’ or needs improvement can lead to negative self-talk. So, make sure you balance things out with some self-love and positive talk.

Look After Others

It’s been said that helping others is the most selfish act you can do. That’s because the benefits of helping others are so vast. Try some of the below activities to bring more joy and satisfaction into your life, and take back control of your emotions.

  • Kindness increases happiness, energy, the love hormone (oxytocin), pleasure and it even increases your lifespan. It’s also really easy to practice and has recently started a global movement you can get involved in #RandomActsOfKindness
  • Practice loving kindness. Research has shown that helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier, but more recent research finds that simply wishing someone well may have a similarly positive effect on our moods.
  • Research has shown that volunteering is rewarding in and of itself, and helping others is a way to higher individual wellbeing.

Be Social

No seriously! Social distancing doesn’t mean not being social, it means maintaining physical distance from others. In other words, don’t stop seeing people! The fastest road to feeling sad and lonely is to stop seeing and speaking to people. Humans are genetically wired to be social animals. So, to take back control of your emotions, make sure you take the time to be social. All you need is one close friendship; as this recent study shows, to take back control of your emotions.

What activities are OK in COVID-19 times? According to multiple sources, as long as you follow these general hygiene guidelines, you can do the following activities:

  • Avoid close contact, such as shaking hands, hugging, and kissing.
  • Wash hands often or use a hand sanitizer when soap and water are not available, and don’t touch your face.
  • Avoid surfaces that are touched often, such as doorknobs, handrails, and playground equipment.
  • Don’t go out if you feel unwell.

If you keep the above guidance in mind, the following activities will keep you connected during this time of uncertainty.

  • Call or video conference a friend or family members. Keep a special eye on people who are living alone and can’t go out.
  • Go for a walk with people in your household, or a friend but remember no contact! Many national parks are still open, and fresh air and exercise are still so important for mental health.
  • Visit a quiet beach. Although many beaches have been closed recently (most notably Bondi Beach was closed over the weekend), it’s the crowds not the activities that are the concern. If you live near a quiet beach, make an effort to meet someone for a walk.
  • Organise a virtual dinner party! If you want to go all out, pick a fancy-dress theme and send an email invite. Get everyone to download Zoom before the night. Put on some tunes in the background, BYO dinner and drinks, and dial in to the party.

Remember, Coronavirus is extremely contagious, can live in the air for hours and on some surfaces for days, and can easily be spread by droplets from someone’s cough. Keep your distance from others outside your household and wash your hands regularly.

NOTE: Advice is changing all the time, and differs in different countries, check your government website for the latest information and guidance.

Tell us your stories! What are you doing to keep sane during COVID-19?


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Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, Coronavirus, covid-19, happiness, inspiration, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction, stress

Coronavirus Making You Feel a Bit Low? Consider Adopting a Pet

24/03/2020 by Marie

The Research is Clear: Pets Make You Happier and Benefit Your Mental Health

Research shows that interacting with pets increases cortisol levels, making you happier.

Here’s 3 ways you can find a new best friend and gain some resiliency during the Coronavirus pandemic.

1. Rescue or Adopt a Pet

Many studies have shown that pets make you happier, in fact simply petting a cat or dog reduces the stress hormone cortisol. All it takes is 10 minutes a day to lower your stress levels and increase positive emotions. Studies show that owning a dog reduces a person’s risk of premature death by up to a third!

Another study showed that having a dog has been proven to increase physical health too — after all you have to take them for walks! A study that examined data from almost 34,000 people has found that as little as one-hour of exercise per week, regardless of intensity, can help to prevent depression. So, get out there walk your dog or play with them in the park or backyard for just an hour and you can reap the benefits!

NOTE: generally, going for walks is still OK if you’re shut-in to help slow the spread of COVID-19 (keep 2 metres away from other walkers) but they’re generally not allowed if you’re officially quarantined because you’re high risk. Check with your local authorities to be sure.

2. Be Kind and Foster a Pet

If you can’t commit to rescuing and owning a pet full-time, you might be able to help out by fostering a pet for the short-term.

Unfortunately, in times of stress and when people are pinched financially, vets and charities often see a rise in dumped or surrendered animals. When people don’t know if or when they’ll get another pay check, it’s often hard to keep a pet, and many are returned to shelters.

Research shows giving to others activates an area of the brain linked with contentment and the reward cycle. So, performing selfless acts makes you happier. Being kind also increases happiness, energy, the love hormone (oxytocin), pleasure and it even increases your lifespan. It’s also really easy to practice and has recently started a global movement you can get involved in #RandomActsOfKindness

3. Volunteer to Walk Your Neighbours’ Dogs

You might not be able to take on a pet at your home right now, but many people are in need of help at the moment too, particularly if they’re quarantined at home. So why not put up a sign in your apartment lobby or local shops or do a mail drop around your street offering to walk your neighbours’ dogs.

Research shows that helping others through acts of charity or volunteer work can make you feel better and happier. But more recent research finds that simply wishing someone well may have a similarly positive effect on our moods. So, whip around your block or neighbourhood (keeping your social distancing) or even better send around some emails and offer to help out.

Remember while you’re walking your neighbours’ dogs to be sure to stop and smell the roses, or at least notice them. Research says that observing nature — wherever you may be — will make you feel happier and improve your overall wellbeing.


Want some other science-backed tips to bring happiness into your life, read How to be happy – 50 science-backed ways to improve your happiness

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: Coronavirus, covid-19, kindness, mental health, pet, resilience, resiliency

5 Steps to Surviving Self Isolation and Working From Home

18/03/2020 by Marie

How to Avoid Loneliness and Maintain Resiliency During Corona Virus Self Isolation

Have you been asked to work from home indefinitely? Are you wondering how you’re going to survive self isolation? Due to the Corona virus, around the world, wherever possible and practical, workers are being told to work from home for the indefinite future.

Overall, this should be good news with workers generally valuing the flexibility that technology has enabled, particularly if they have childcare commitments and long commute times. Other benefits of working from home include greater working time autonomy, better work–life balance and higher productivity.

But current research also shows that working from home can have negative consequences, leading to decreased wellbeing and mental health. And while introverts might be cheering with joy, for people who get their energy from others, and who love the daily interaction with their colleagues, enforced isolation can feel like jail time.

With the Corona virus leading to more people self-isolating or working from home, not only once or twice a week, but every work day for an indefinite period, it’s important to understand the possible risks and give ourselves the best chance of making it through the next few weeks (and months!?). Here’s what you need to know and your steps to surviving self isolation.

5 Steps to Surviving Self Isolation and Working From Home

1. Manage clear work-life boundaries

When working from home, it’s easy to blur the lines between work hours and home time. This explains why a United Nations report1 found that 25 percent of office workers reported high stress levels compared to 41 per cent of remote workers. Workers who work from home can easily check their emails while making breakfast, or in the evenings after putting the kids down, but the research shows that ‘always on’ mentality can take a toll on your mental health and stress levels. So set your work hours, and only work during those hours.

2. Make an extra effort to speak to co-workers – social media won’t cut it

While you might appreciate the increase in productivity that comes with not being interrupted by your colleagues, you might also come to miss the small interactions and socialising that come with the office environment. Quite simply, spending all day every day at home can get lonely.

A recent study by health insurer Cigna found that three in five Americans (61 per cent) reporting that they were lonely. The study also revealed that heavy social media users were significantly more likely to feel alone, isolated, left out and without companionship.2 During this time of isolation, it’s important to maintain relationships and social interactions, particularly if you’re an extrovert, to avoid becoming lonely. When it comes to maintaining and building relationships with your colleagues, email, messaging apps and social media just won’t cut it. Instead, make an effort to speak to your colleagues on the phone, or even better via video conference. While you’re at it, call your mum (and any elderly relatives who might be at stuck at home) too.

3. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should increase your unpaid hours

If you’re stuck at home and can’t go out, you might be thinking you may as well just do some extra hours of work. The United Nations report1 from 2017 showed that it’s actually not uncommon for people who work from home to start working longer hours than needed. From Japan and the US to Argentina, India and Spain, work-from-home workers tend to work longer hours over and above regular working hours compared to office-based workers. Don’t do it! Set your hours and stick to them (See point # 1)

4. Don’t forget to exercise

If you’re not leaving your home, you may also not be getting your regular exercise. Even if you’re not a gym junkie, the incidental exercise you get from walking to the train or bus, walking across the road for a morning coffee, going to meetings or walking outside for our lunch break are all important. The benefits of exercise and movement to our mental health cannot be overstated, and it doesn’t take much to get your blood flowing. Set an alarm to remind you to get up from your chair and do some simple stretches and exercises a few times a day. Even better, why not replace your usual commute time with this beginners 20-minute at home exercise plan?

5. Do something for you

Are you stuck at home by yourself all day and night? Why not turn self-isolation into an opportunity to focus on you. Being alone – when done right – can have positive mental health benefits. The research shows that prioritising ‘me time’ makes people happier and more creative. Russian researchers investigated the phenomenon of positive solitude, where people choose to spend time alone for contemplation, reflection or creativity. They found that being alone leads to more positive emotions, like relaxation and calm, and having a greater sense of pleasure and meaning. So, dust off that DIY or art project you’ve been meaning to tackle or check out these 3-steps to being alone.

The key to surviving self isolation is to find creative ways to maintain your physical and mental health habits and social bonds. Don’t forget to make it fun!

And one final tip for mental health during these unprecedented times: limit your news consumption and only read or watch reputable sources. It doesn’t help anxiety levels to over-consume overhyped and sometimes downright alarmist news about the Corona virus.

References

  1. Eurofound and the International Labour Office (2017), Working anytime, anywhere: The effects on the world of work, Publications Office of the European Union, Luxembourg, and the International Labour Office, Geneva.
  2. Cigna. “Cigna Takes Action To Combat The Rise Of Loneliness And Improve Mental Wellness In America.” Cigna Press Release. 23 January 2020. https://www.cigna.com/newsroom/news-releases/2020/cigna-takes-action-to-combat-the-rise-of-loneliness-and-improve-mental-wellness-in-america, accessed February 2020.

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Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, corona virus, covid-19, happiness, isolation, loneliness, resilience, resiliency

The Secret to Living Longer

16/03/2020 by Marie

Do you Want to Live a Long and Healthy Life?

Life expectancy has increased significantly over the past century, and as a result the world’s population is aging. In fact, in the US alone more than 70,000 baby boomers expected to retire every single week until 2030!

Since we haven’t worked out how to stop time yet, living longer is great news for all of us, but unfortunately it doesn’t follow that we’ll all be healthy and have good quality of life as we age.

In fact, along with the increase in the aging population, we’re also seeing a rapid increase in the prevalence of chronic diseases such as diabetes and cancer.

However, a 20-year study of more than 111,000 people has found that a healthy lifestyle could increase your chances of living a healthy and longer life by up to ten years for women and seven years for men. The study looked at how people could live free of diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and cancer.

The Secret to Living Longer

Previous studies have shown that smoking, inactivity, poor diet and heavy alcohol consumption contribute to up to 60 per cent of premature deaths and up to 18 years’ loss in life expectancy.

This latest study however assigned a ‘healthy lifestyle score’ based on five lifestyle factors—diet, smoking, physical activity, alcohol consumption, and body mass index (BMI). The good news is that you can influence these five lifestyle factors to increase your chances of living a healthy and long life. The more you are better at maintaining, the better your score.

  1. Healthy Diet: Eating a healthy diet means including a variety of food groups (to make sure you’re still getting all the nutrients and vitamins you need!), good portion control, eating plenty of fresh healthy foods instead of processed and packaged foods, limiting (or eliminating) unhealthy fats and sugar.
  2. Don’t Smoke or Quit Smoking: Obviously, it’s better if you’ve never smoked. But if you’re a smoker, the research also shows that quitting at any point in your life gives you a better shot and repairing the damage it’s done to you. So, the sooner you quit, the better.
  3. Do Regular Physical Activity: You should aim to do moderate to vigorous physical activity for more than 30 minutes a day. If you are not used to doing exercise, this can take some time to build up to. Check out the ‘No Excuses’ Beginners Exercise Plan to get yourself started.
  4. Limit Excessive Alcohol Consumption: It’s OK to have a glass of wine with dinner every now and then, but we’re talking about cutting out regular and excessive consumption here. For women, try to keep your consumption below 5-15 g/day and for men below 5-30 g/day.
  5. Maintain a Good BMI : Your BMI, or body mass index, is a measurement that is used to assess whether you are in a healthy weight range. Unfortunately, obesity is a major limit to life expectancy. If you follow a healthy diet and do regular exercise, this should be relatively easy to maintain (all other health considerations aside). You should aim to have a body mass index of between 18.5-24.9. Check out the Heart Foundation’s BMI calculator to see where you measure up.

Living longer is only worth it if you can enjoy it! So set up some good habits and plan for health and balance in your life.

And remember, it’s OK to occasionally fall off the wagon, it happens to us all. Just remember to get up, dust yourself off, and get back on again (without any judgement)!



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Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: health, life, Live, wellbeing

Are your finances making you sick?

09/03/2020 by Marie

Take Control of Your Finances and Kick That Financial Stress to the Curb

Many of us are experiencing financial stress, and it’s impacting our overall mental and physical health and wellbeing. Read on for some tips and resources to take back control.  

What is Financial Stress?

Financial wellbeing is critical for overall mental health and wellbeing. According to Thriving Wallet, we know that poor financial wellbeing impacts physical and psychological health, mood, work satisfaction, sleep and relationships.

However, even though nowadays we’re spending more time working, for the first time since 1930 we’re earning less relative income than those who came before us. We also have less financial security.  At the same time, in many countries, costs for necessities like food, healthcare, housing and education have skyrocketed.

Money is the #1 stress for people in the U.S.1

This lack of financial security is causing huge amounts of stress, and more than that, it’s impacting our wellbeing more broadly. A recent study in Canada looked at the importance of financial satisfaction for overall life satisfaction. They found that for financially stressed households, their financial stress overwhelmingly conditioned their overall sense of life satisfaction. 2 In short, they were less happy and satisfied with their lives.

What Financial Stress Looks Like

Those who earn the least in society are often living in a constant and overwhelming state of financial distress. The Salvation Army’s annual survey shows that the poorest people in Australia experience extreme housing stress, face multiple barriers to finding work and struggle to maintain a basic standard of living. At times, they are unable to feed themselves or their families, and most upsetting, children continue to be deprived of basic necessities due to the lack of economic resources. This financial hardship means that children miss out on educational opportunities and activities at school and many don’t have access to technology or the internet at home. This is despite respondents often saying that they would ‘go without’ so that their children did not have to do so.3

Meanwhile, around the world for the Millennial generation the wealth gap continues to increase, and many millennials have huge university debt, no prospects of ever buying a house, and they probably won’t be able to retire until they’re 75 years old.

According to Credit Swiss: “The Millennials (people who came of age after the turn of the century) have not been a lucky cohort. Not only were they hit at a vulnerable age by the global financial crisis, its associated recession and the poor job prospects that followed, but they have also been disadvantaged in many countries by high house prices, low interest rates, and rising student debt making it difficult for them to buy property or accumulate wealth.”4

When Things go Wrong

If you’ve had a sudden or unexpected change in your circumstances, like losing your job or having a health emergency that prevents you from working, and you’re experiencing financial stress, the sooner you start working with support groups, the better.

Often times, sticking your head in the sand and hoping it will all go away can make problems worse and things can snowball quickly. The key is to reach out to support organisations as early as possible. Organisations like The Salvation Army have people available to speak to you if you’re struggling.

Taking Control of Your Finances

Reading Resources

Thankfully, many people are starting to talk about financial stress and financial wellbeing, and there are a range of resources you can now access.

For a great read and to learn a bit about your spending and saving mindset, check out the classic book: Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

You can also download the Thriving Wallet research insights report / white paper, which has some good stats about the issue (you’re not alone!) as well as some practical micro-steps you can take.

Online Tools to Manage Financial Stress

The Commonwealth Bank has a range of resources for you to assess and then manage your situation. They believe there are 3 ways you should be looking at your overall financial wellbeing:

  1. Every day: Managing your day-to-day finances.
  2. Rainy day: Being ready for the unexpected.
  3. One Day: Making your one day goals a reality.

They also have some great free resources for things like making budgets (and how to make sure you stick to it!), ensuring you only spend within your budget, and learning how to pay off your debts. Although some things (like their customer app) require you to have a product with them, the site is still really valuable and for most resources you don’t get a hard-sell, which is nice.

NOTE: For full disclosure, I used to work at the Commonwealth Bank – which is why I know about their Financial Wellbeing site. But please note that I am not receiving any payment from them for this post, I just believe in the advice and resources they’re providing.

Dealing with Stress

Remember throughout it all that there are science-backed activities you can do to better manage your stress and build your resiliency. Check out the posts under the below topics for some ideas on how to manage your stress, or speak to a professional.

Community and Connection: Connecting with others and contributing to your community are proven to build emotional resiliency and make your life happier. It is so important not to neglect this part of your life, especially if it doesn’t come easily, like when work is really busy or if you’re a natural introvert.

Health and Wellbeing: Your health and wellbeing is critical to your happiness. Luckily, there is a wealth of information about how to make small changes to your life to make it healthier and improve your wellbeing.

Meaning and Purpose: Having a sense of meaning and purpose in life is critical to resiliency and living a happy life. You need it to thrive and flourish. It’s about having a reason to get out of bed in the morning, setting goals and having commitments. Some lucky people get that purpose through their job, but many of us get our purpose through other activities such as volunteering, learning or experiencing new things or caring for others.

References

  1. “The Thriving Wallet, research insights report/white paper.” Page 1. https://content.thriveglobal.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Thriving-Wallet-Research-Insights-Report.pdf, accessed February 2020.
  2. Brzozowski, M. & Spotton Visano, B. J ““Havin’ Money’s Not Everything, Not Havin’ It Is”: The Importance of Financial Satisfaction for Life Satisfaction in Financially Stressed Households.” Happiness Stud (2020) 21: 573., https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-019-00091-0, accessed February 2020.
  3. The Salvation Army. “Feeling the Pinch: National Economic and Social Impact Survey, 2018.” https://apo.org.au/sites/default/files/resource-files/2018/11/apo-nid204626-1240541.pdf, accessed February 2020.
  4. Credit Suisse. “Global wealth databook 2019.” Page 141. https://www.credit-suisse.com/about-us/en/reports-research/global-wealth-report.html, accessed February 2020.

NOTE: This is not financial advice. It is intended to provide generalised, educational information. I do not know your financial situation or needs, and you should not rely on this information as financial product advice.

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, finances, Financial stress, financial wellbeing, happiness, inspiration, overwhelmed, redundancy, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction, stress

The ‘No Excuses’ Beginners Exercise Plan

04/03/2020 by Marie

Try this free, less than 20-minute, at-home beginners exercise plan

There are so many reasons we don’t exercise regularly. For many of us, it’s a bit daunting and not easy to get started. For others life is just too busy to fit something else in. Then there’s the people who have good intentions, but somehow in their busy lives, exercise just keeps getting cut, week after week.

STOP! It’s time to prioritise you and your health!

We all know the benefits of exercise to our mental and physical health. So, no more excuses!

Here’s a simple beginners exercise plan that’s designed to only add 20 minutes to your day, at home. That’s it! No gym fees or expensive equipment, no commuting to classes, just 20 minutes before you get in the shower in the mornings.

Instructions for your beginners exercise plan:

Here’s how it all works:

  1. Change Your Thinking. Exercise is not a chore and it is not a burden. It is about your self care and being the best you, you can be. Period.
  2. Set a Goal. Losing weight and being healthy are important, but they don’t tend to be good motivators. You need a reason why you’re doing this. If you can, make your goal something you want to see or visit or tie it to a holiday plan, then go book your tickets. (For example, my goal was to trek Machu Picchu).
  3. Commit. Tell your family, friends and work colleagues that you’re starting a new work-out routine, and discuss any small changes you and they will need to make, such as your partner making breakfast for the kids in the mornings, or maybe starting work 30 minutes later (and working back). This is important as these people will hold you accountable.
  4. Make Your New Routine. This program is set up to be a 20-minute exercise plan for beginners that is completed at home every weekday. I recommend the following new morning routine:
    1. Get out of bed, do not look at your phone/devices
    2. Have a glass of water and repeat “I deserve me time. Exercise is my time for me.”
    3. Put on some gym gear
    4. Turn on some of your favourite music
    5. Get the exercise done before your usual morning routine
  5. Get Started! Print a copy of your weekly exercise planner, write your goal at the top, and refer to it to complete the exercises. If you’re not sure how to do an exercise, you can easily search for any of these on YouTube.
  6. Build on Your Progress. It’s OK if some exercises are easy (not everything should be hard all at once). When you can easily do all the exercises on any given level, move up to the next level. This is generally every 2-4 weeks.

What to expect

  • Commit to Two Weeks: Getting started is hard! When you first start, you will probably feel a lot of doubt (and soreness!). Start with a promise that you’ll do two weeks – and remember these are the hardest weeks!
  • Workout Principles: To avoid injuries, you should always start each exercise by tightening your core (tummy) muscles, then do the exercise. If you’re too tired to do an exercise in a controlled way, then you should stop. If a muscle or body part is feeling particularly tight or sore, skip that exercise for the day.
  • Know Your Limits: Push yourself a little with each exercise. This feeling will get easier as time goes on. But if you’re experiencing pain, you should stop and get professional advice (generally from a qualified physio, chiro, remedial massage therapist or doctor). It will take a while to understand what your body is saying.
  • Self-care: If you’re getting tight and sore, treat yourself to a light massage to try to relieve some tension. Make sure you tell the therapist that you’re sore from working out, and what’s bothering you.
  • Be Forgiving of Yourself. If you miss a day, or even a week, just get started again when you can. Be aware that you might need to drop back down a level again if you take an extended break.

What you need:

  1. A chair for your squats
  2. A step or stairs for the step-ups
  3. A carpeted area or a yoga mat is preferable (more comfortable for you) but not necessary
  4. A stop watch, timer, or clock with seconds hand
  5. Two 1kg weights, this could be shampoo bottles, or large water bottles, or even bottles of wine!
  6. A tennis ball or foam roller (check out these YouTube videos for how to use a foam roller)

You should be able to make this all work for free, but if you do want to buy the equipment, I’ve included some suggestion below. Please note: I get an affiliate commission if you buy these items, but it’s at no extra cost to you.


Click to Download Your
Beginners Exercise Plan now!

Hey guys and gals, I’ve just got to cover myself here, so all the legal stuff is below, but in short, please listen to your own bodies and seek professional help if you think something is not right.

The ‘Beginners Exercise Plan’ does not take into account your personal health, strength or fitness level. It is intended as general information. It is not a rehabilitation plan, nor is it meant to replace professional medical advice. Please listen to your own body and see a qualified professional if you need to. By completing or attempting to complete this plan, you understand the above statements and agree that you are 100% responsible for your body and health and you agree to release Marie Skelton from any liability, responsibility or accountability for any negative outcomes.

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: 20 minute, at home, beginner, get fit, lose weight, newbie, start exercise, work-out

Balancing Work Pressures With Health and Fitness

02/03/2020 by Marie

Dade Bailey, corporate leader and personal trainer, talks about the importance of balancing work and health

We all know we need to do exercise. There have been hundreds, probably thousands, of studies into the positive effects of regular exercise. It leads to better moods, decreased stress, more mental resilience, more confidence, more energy, and I could keep going on. So, there is no way I could have a site dedicated to happiness and mental health, and not cover exercise.

Unfortunately, when we get busy, exercise is often the first thing we drop!

That’s why this week I’m interviewing Dade Bailey, who has had a very successful career in the corporate world, but he also recently retrained as a personal trainer. I spoke to him about the importance of balancing the pressures of work with health and fitness, and how to bring a bit more balance into your life.

You’ve had a very successful career with some big Australian brands, but there’s more to you than your professional career… Let’s cut to the chase: you’re buff.

<Laughs> Nice, thanks. Yes I’m Okay. So yes, but it took a long time for me to get here.

How much time do you spend working out or doing exercise each week and what do you do?

On reflection looking back, I always wanted to get to this point of being able to look in the mirror and go, yeah, I look good. I feel great. I’ve got a healthy balance, and it took a very big mind shift to get there.

The gym I’ve been with for 14 years called Hiscoes in Surry Hills [Sydney], is such a great gym, I did a strength challenge with them that was the catalyst. They really gave me the understanding of how muscle groups work, how nutrition needs to work, how building good longevity strength really would help. And that helped me set my mindset to where I am now.

Now, I’m at the gym about four or five times a week for my own personal training. I do different things, that could be strength training, high intensity training, but also it could be just something for stress relief – like going to kick the crap out of a boxing bag, or just going to do some yoga for active recovery. I really love Pilates – Reformer Pilates – that’s really good. So, four to five times a week because rest is so important as well. You’ve got to be able to allow your body time to recover.

Is balance something that’s important to you?

I think being in the corporate world for such a long time, exercise is always my outlet and going to the gym in the morning sets me up for the day, to really start my day off well. So from a mental health point of view, it was like, I’m ready. I’m walking in the office ready to take on the day. I’m feeling good. I’ve got all these endorphins happening. It’s great. Fantastic.

However if my nutrition wasn’t balanced and I was then going to eat an egg and bacon sandwich every day, and not really balancing my food, I wasn’t really complimenting my training well. Then then looking at other parts of my life and ensuring I have a balance in those areas.

When I lead teams questions I’d ask ‘are you exercising? Are you eating right? Are you sleeping right? How’s home life?’ To see if their life is balanced, and if it wasn’t, they wouldn’t be able to bring their best selves to work. At the start of each week, I used to ask my team “How are you feeling out of 10 this week?” To gauge how balanced they are heading into the week and how I could support them better.

Additionally I included exercise at work, instead of just having a 1:1 in a room, we’d go and have a walk and talk to do some exercise at the same time. Or have team meeting, we’d get out the building, so you were getting away from your desk.

Now I’ve become a personal trainer and I know a lot more about the sciences behind it, so going back into the corporate world is really going to help me as a leader to help my team thrive, so they get the best out of their work and bringing their best selves to work.

A lot of people join gyms and go to one or two classes and never go back. How did you find that spark or that passion to begin with?

As I said before there was a challenge at the gym. It was an eight-week strength challenge and I’m like, you know what, for eight weeks, I will commit. This is a short amount of time. Really commit. And even by week four of the eight weeks, I was seeing so many different changes in my body, how I was sleeping, how I was motivating myself. I changed myself from not being a morning person to being a morning person.

That’s huge!

It’s huge. I never used to be able to get out of bed. I used to sleep in and just go to work, but now I wake up at like 5:30 in the morning, quite happily.

Okay, I need your secret. We’ll get to that in a second.

But I think for me, it was that you’ve got to be able to help yourself and that was the mindset thing. You are the only one who’s going to be accountable here. You’ve got personal trainers that will help you, use them to help build out a program but it’s also “Where’s your commitment in this?” And I had to make a commitment to myself.

The corporate world is relentless, and it’s nonstop. And you have to find those moments to find that balance.

A lot of us are spending long, long hours in corporate world, and it’s becoming harder and harder to say no. What advice would you give to people to make sure they can find the balance in their life to fit in exercise.

Just from a personal point of view, after 14 years of working in an organization of the scale and the complexity that I did, I was really burnt out. And I’ve taken the time out to do some of the things I wanted to do, like become a personal trainer, which is amazing.

The corporate world is relentless, and it’s nonstop. And you have to find those moments to find that balance. As a leader in an organization, it was making sure that people came to work and they had a balanced life outside of work was my priority, because if they were wandering in and they didn’t have that balance, they weren’t able to perform at work. So for me, them making sure that they could do work flexibly if they wanted or being able to prioritize going to the gym classes that they wanted, or “hey, there’s a yoga class at four.” Go for it. You can. I know you’ll work to make up the hours. It’s about not putting restrictions on or being stuck in the old way of working of, “I need to see you at your desk from nine to five, and you need to produce X amount of widgets.”

Instead it’s like, “Here are the outcomes that you need to achieve. I expect you’re an adult and you’re able to achieve them. I will give you accountability to do that, and you work how you want. Giving people that freedom enabled them to be able to bring more of themselves to work and they were honest with me going, “I’m going through a tough time with this happening at home.” Okay, cool, at least I’m aware. But at least that kind of relationship really helped people bring everything they can to the office, and I created teams that thrive. And that’s where I’m always very proud of those moments. Because for me, if I’m running a team and they’re not living their best life outside of work, they’re not going to enjoy coming to work every day.

Absolutely. So obviously we all wish we had a boss like you! Were there any points in your life where you had bosses that didn’t subscribe to this idea? And how did you deal with explaining that you need to take time for yourself in order to be better for the organization or for your boss?

I had a boss who was a micromanager, and he really pushed my buttons. In the end, I learned that to manage the micro manager, I had to manage back. Okay, you want to know everything I’m doing? Here is a task list. Here’s everything I’m doing. You want to see that I’ve done all these tasks? Awesome.

Instead of them controlling me, I had to take control of them. But I also gave them honest feedback. I’d ask, “Can I just ask why you need to know this level of detail?” And sometimes people are just afraid of the boss. So just ask the question, “What was this to achieve? What’s the outcome?” Because for me, that kind of open and honest communication doesn’t happen enough in the corporate world. People need to ask the question “why” a lot more.

Have there been any times since you first started including exercise in your life on a regular basis that you haven’t been able to exercise, and have you noticed any impacts on your mental health or resiliency?

Absolutely. When in high delivery times, if I don’t get sleep and I don’t get to the gym in the morning, I go straight to work, I can sense my productivity levels dropping. I’m wandering in, I don’t feel energized, it would take me about two hours to get going. And people are bombarding me with questions and I wasn’t firing on all cylinders!

So that’s why it becomes so important to make sure you find that time and make sure that it happens, saying ‘this is important to my balance and the reason for that is to avoid two hours of wasted time as I wander in.’ Make sure you have the conversation as to why it’s important with your leaders to go, ‘this is me, this is why I need to do this. This is going to be better for you.’ This could be not just exercise, it could be making sure you’re dropping the kids off or going to swim class with the kids or prioritising a doctors appointment. As long as they let me know, there were ways we could make it work.

One time I noticed it started to affect my mental health was when I was leading the one of the biggest, complex change programs to deliver IT experiences to the whole organisation. It was consuming so much of my time, I started see my drinking habits go up each day, I was working longer hours, I was getting to bed late and sleeping in and not getting to the gym.

So I actually did a checkpoint, a kind of ‘put me at the centre’ activity and what actually makes me happy overall. For me it was flexible working, meaningful work, getting to the gym, making sure I’ve got time for my nutrition and making sure I’ve got time with my friends. When I started to protect those parts of my personal life, I felt the balance returning. I ensured I could cook on a Sunday night for the food for the week, ensured I limited my drinking to weekends, had conversation with my boss to come in a bit later so I could fit in my gym in the morning.  I really had to look at and put myself under the microscope and go, what makes you happy on a day to day basis from the outside of work. And what is work affecting of those pillars? And make changes.

I think it’s such an irony that when we’re needed most at work, we let down all the other areas of our life that keep us healthy for work.

But it’s also the ability for a leader to see that in their people. And for me now coming into a personal training side, I think I’m rounding out my skills in a very different way. Because it will be a very much, “well, what makes you ‘you’ outside of work? Is it exercise? Is it nutrition? How are you balancing yourself out? And how as a leader can I help that outside work operate well? What blockers do I need to remove to help free that up so you come into this office skipping?”

Can I ask you since you have been training and doing your certifications, what are some tips for people who are just starting out on their exercise journey?

Ask questions of anyone working in that gym. I’ve had the same personal trainer since day dot (Hi Mac) and he’s just so full of knowledge, like how bodies work, how you sleep, how exercise affects your energy levels – there’s so much knowledge that they have! Learn from them and really ask questions. They want to be asked and if you have a question over motivation, programs, technique or what is best to achieve your fitness goals, ask them. And if they don’t know they’ll know someone who can [help].

A lot of people don’t do the gym because they have a fear that they may look silly, don’t know how to  use the equipment or may go “ahh no, they look really fit, I can’t join that class.” But everybody working at the gym is there to help you. And yes, there are some people in gyms that are all there posing in front of mirrors or at the other end of the spectrum where they’re like, “Oh, my God, you had an alcoholic beverage, the world is ending.” But remember most people are there to better themselves. You’re all there for the same reasons, you’re there for health or want to look better for your wedding that’s coming up, or something like that. And there are people in that gym, with so many skills to help you achieve that. Don’t be afraid.

I know I was! I think I first went to a gym when I was 13 or 14 and those machines looked so scary. I don’t know if you remember going, “Oh my gosh, how do these work?” So would you recommend maybe taking a class to get started versus going straight for the weights equipment?

A couple of things that I’d recommend: most gyms overall should have some kind of introduction assessment. They should do a fitness assessment with you as soon as you walk in. Let’s sit down and get a baseline, let’s do some measurements. Let’s make sure you can know what your goals are, what do you want to achieve. A good gym will sit down and help you design a program and not only help you design a program to help you start to achieve that, but also show you how to use that equipment.

Regarding your point on the machines looking scary, they are built to help you ensure you’re doing your form correctly. Most should have a little illustration on them as how to use it properly, if you don’t have the confidence to talk to someone at the gym to demonstrate it to you. Otherwise, ask one of the trainers because they honestly want you to use the gym, use it safely, have correct form and they want their product to be used and for you to get the best results.

Is there anything I haven’t asked you that you want to add before we go?

I think in summary it’s about finding balance overall. If you are completing exercise or want to start, then work with your gym on how to do that and remember your body needs fuel for that exercise. Complement this with great nutrition, getting the sleep you need sleep, ensure you have time for your own mental health and having time for enjoying life – you need to look at what factors of your life are really are important to you, see how you get balance across them and see how you protect them.

After all, we work to live, not live to work!

If you’re in Sydney, you can find Dade at Hiscoes gym in Surry Hills. Visit www.hiscoes.com.au.

Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: balance, change, corporate, exercise, gym, happiness, health, inspiration, mental health, nutrition, resilience, resiliency, satisfaction, sleep, work

What is a State of Flow and How to Find it

24/02/2020 by Marie

What is a State of Flow?

Flow is a concept made famous by one of the pioneers of positive psychology Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. Being in a state of flow means you’re completely focused on the task at hand, to the point that you forget about yourself, about others and about the world around you. You might lose track of time, but it doesn’t matter because you are so engrossed in your activity, so happy in the moment.

“Contrary to what we usually believe (…) the best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times—although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”

Mihály Csíkszentmihályi

There’s nothing better than spending a few hours in a state of flow to complete a task. The ability to focus on deep work and find distraction-free concentration can be hugely satisfying. It’s that feeling of having ticked a million things off your to-do list or finally sending your boss that huge presentation you’ve been working on.

Indeed, Csíkszentmihályi’s research has shown that people who experience a state of flow not only enjoy performing the task more, but they also have increased productivity and satisfaction, and reduced stress while increasing the quality of the output.

“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it’s a day you’ve had everything to do and you’ve done it.”

Margaret Thatcher

So, how does the state of flow work?

There’s a part of the brain called the Default Mode Network (DMN) where all your autopilot activities happen – you know those times you leave work and before you know it you’re home and you think, “wow I don’t really remember how I got home.” That’s when the DMN is running the show.

As kids, everything is new and we’re constantly learning. As we get older, things become more ‘the same’ and as a result our brains don’t need to try as hard, instead operating in the DMN. But when we’re in a state of flow, just like when we’re experiencing awe, we move from the autopilot part of our brains to the learning and inspiration part.

“Dampening DMN activity may be key to giving us a sense of self-transcendence. Other studies have found decreased DMN activity when participants entered a flow state, during meditation, and when participants under the influence of psychedelics experienced “ego dissolution,” according to Summer Allen a Research/Writing Fellow with UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.

In short, when we’re in a state of flow, we’re coming off autopilot and experiencing the world in a deeper and more meaningful way.

Three steps to put flow into practice

1. Get rid of technological distractions

To engage in truly deep work, you need to limit or eliminate interruptions and find a way to silence the change storm! So, turn off your phone, or put it on silent and leave it in another room (to stop you checking it!). If you’re working on your computer, be sure to turn off email notifications.

2. Get away from other people

From kids asking you questions, or the phone ringing, or the TV blaring, our busy lives can feel like one big interruption. Similarly, today’s modern office spaces are built to encourage collaboration, but often at the expense of deep work. So, let others around you know they’re not to disturb you for a set period of time and close the door. Or try to get out of the busy environment for a few hours, try the local library or a coffee shop with some noise cancelling headphones. If you’re at work, try to find a peaceful space alone, or if you’re one of the lucky few who can work from home, guard that privilege with your life!

3. Find a suitable task that you can immerse yourself in

One of the key requirements of the state of flow is that the task be sufficiently difficult, without being overwhelmingly difficult or unachievable. That perfect task will be completely subjective but it will often revolve around mastering a skill or task or completing a big task or project. Here are some activities that might inspire you.

Personally, I’ve been lucky to have the time to tackle quite a few projects that have given me flow lately. I recently launched a blog, and aside from writing, I’ve been reading and researching all about websites, web security, SEO and e-commerce and putting it all into practice. I’ve often looked up after a whole day of research and fiddling with my site to see the sun has gone down and my husband arrived home hours ago without me really registering it.

I hope you find your flow too.

Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi talks about flow at TED

Tell us. What activities do you do that help you to experienced flow?


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Filed Under: Finding Happiness & Resiliency Tagged With: change, change storm, curiosity, education, flow, happiness, inspiration, mastery, resilience, resiliency, state of flow

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