Unapologetically Marie

Writer, podcaster, mental health advocate

Happiness Blog

How to Start Your Day in a Happier Mood (E73)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about how to start your day in a happier, healthier and more energetic mood with these five helpful tips.

Show notes

The Southern Lights – These lights also known as the Aurora Australis and are caused when plasma particles carried by the solar wind strike the Earth’s atmosphere. This causes an excitation of the particles which emits the multi-coloured light. During the podcast Marie asks when the lights can be seen and was correct in assuming that the lights are most visible during the south’s winter (June – August), However they can be seen all year round and peak during the Spring’s equinox in September when the state of the Earth’s magnetic field facilitates more solar particles to create more auroras. The best places to view the lights are in the southern most areas of our world, including Antarctica, Tasmania, Southern Victoria, New Zealand, Chile, Argentina and the Falkland Islands.

During the podcast Pete refers to a talk given be a General about starting your day with one success. It was in fact given by U.S. Navy Adm. William H. McCraven, and the exact quote is, “If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.” We apologise for any incorrect referencing during the podcast. To view the full speech go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sK3wJAxGfs

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

P: How you doing Muz?

M: Good.

P: That’s good. Happy festival of light.

M: Oh, what is that?

P: It’s the winter solstice.

M: Today?

P: Not today, but this week.

M: Okay.

P: I’m pre-empting, laugh.

M: Alright, well happy that, laugh.

P: Happy winter solstice, everyone. It’s the time for celebrating the longest night of the year.

M: Oh, and practising some hygge?

P: Hygge!

M & P: Laugh!

P: Cosy socks, it’s basically Christmas.

M: Mmm, for the southern hemisphere.

P: Well yes. It’s our, it would be like our Christmas. So, Christmas was actually over-taken by cultures to coincide with the pagan festival of light, which is the winter solstice, which is the longest night of the year.

M: Oh, does mean that you’d see the southern lights at this time of year? Do you see the northern lights in the coldest months?

P: I don’t know that answer at all.

M: Is that a dumb question? Have I just asked something really dumb?

P: No, no. Let’s, let’s research that and come back to that.

M: We’ll come back to it.

P: Yeah.

M: Alright, producer Lea, please remind us –

P: Laugh! As you always do, my darling.

M: – to come back to that.

P & M: Laughter!

P: And put it in the notes.

M: Laugh, nothing would ever happen without our fabulous producer Lea.

P: Oh, Leandra is fabulous. She reminds us when we say we’re going to do that. And then two weeks later she says I can’t find anything –

M: “Guys, you didn’t do it”, laugh.

P: No, she doesn’t even say that she’s very respectful. “Can’t find anything in the show notes. And I had a look online.” But yeah, that just means we didn’t do it.

M: Sorry.

P & M: Laugh.

M: We said we’d do something, and we don’t.

P & M: Laugh.

P: Anyway, we’re not talking about the winter solstice this evening, although we could, because it’s fabulous and it’s a time for hunger and imbibing in all those lovely inside indoors-y things like –

M: [Whispers to Pete.]

P: Laugh, we’re not going sexual, we’re going fires and –

M: G rated show, G rated show.

P: – and red wine.

M: Oh.

P: My coffee person told me today, I said, “Today’s a great day for coffee because it’s cold and you just want to hold on to it.” And she said “Yeah, that and red wine.” And I’m like thanks, that’s all I’m going to think of now all day long.

M: Laugh!

P: And that was at eight o’clock this morning!

M: Oh, dear.

P: Laugh, I’m not a morning person, people.

M: Speaking of –

P: Oh! Speaking of not being a morning person! Oh, what a segway! I’m going to take that one!

M: So, today we are going to talk about how to wake up happy.

P: [Singing] ‘Because I’m happy, clap along if you feel’ –

M: Ok, stop there or we’ll have to pay royalties.

P: Laugh!

M: We are talking about how to wake up happy.

P: Giggling.

M: Not that I think we need help Pete, laugh.

P: Oh, are you kidding? You’ve seen me thing in the morning, I’m a miserable bitch, laugh!

M: We’re not great morning people, are we? There is actually research into whether morning people are happier and it does tend to point to morning people being happier people in general.

P: Damn it!

M: Same with another recent study, which I will mention which I’ve popped up on my website, which talks about vegans versus meat eaters.

P: Oh yeah, I’m going to question this one. They’re only happy because they think they’re better, Boom!  

M: There’s also a lot more acceptance of vegans –

P: Laugh! They think they’re better than everybody else and that’s why they’re happier.

M: Oh, you stop Pete. We’ve talking about this.

P: I like my pig! Laugh.

M: So, there was a study I think over a decade ago that said that vegans were only more respected than lawyers and politicians.

P: Oh, laugh.

M: Or something along those lines, but lately our vegan brothers and sisters are coming more into mainstream. People are doing, you know we used to do tight-ass Tuesdays now we do meatless Mondays.

P: Oh, really? We do?

M: Yeah.

P: Oh, whoops. I missed that one.

M: Or just having less meat in our diet in general. Having vegetable lunches.

P: I will fully support that one. I’ve actually played with this myself and in the last 12 months I have cut down my red meat intake, and I’ve got to say it works.

M: Yep.

P: It’s good for you. All the science says that it’s good for your internal organs, it’s good for your digestion it reduces the inflammation markers in your body.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: It is actually a good thing.

M: And don’t we know that Physical Health is tied to Mental Health and happiness Pete, laugh.

P: I’m not saying anything! Laugh! Stay tuned…

M: Alright, we should get to today’s topic.

P: Yeah, sorry. So, how to wake up happy.

M: How to wake up happy.

P: What do you have to do to wake up happy Muz?

M: Look, we’ve got five things we want to talk about today that are scientifically proven –

P: Of course.

M: – to help you have a better day. And really, this is about setting yourself up for a positive day and a positive life.

P: Oh, I’m intrigued please tell me more?

M: There are habits that you can build into your morning that will help you, you know love your life. Simple as that, love your life.

P: Yep, I’ll agree with this.

M: And it is the first one, the biggest one, sorry for all you new parents out there, –

P: Laugh!

M: is get enough sleep. Such a no brainer.

P: It seems basic, doesn’t it?

M: Really does.

P: Yeah, it’s a big indicator.

M: Yep, such a simple thing. It is a basic human need, like eating and drinking water.

P: Yep.

M: And there is a huge correlation between mental health and sleep.

P: And physical health.

M: Yep.

P: Our immune function goes down by 40% if we lose one hour of sleep in a night.

M: Not only that, but our ability to experience happy events is reduced. So, everyone knows that you get a bit grumpy if don’t get enough sleep.

P: Yep.

M: But not only that, if you get promoted or you get great news or you pass an exam or whatever it is that can happen that is good and could actually have a positive affect on your life.

P: Yep.

M: You will experience less positive emotions.

P: [Shocked gasp!]

M: If you didn’t get a good night’s sleep beforehand.

P: You mean I can be happier?

M: Yes.

P: Oh, I’m in!

M: Laugh. I just want to read a great quote by Sara Mednick, who’s a sleep researcher in the Department of Psychology at UC Riverside. I applied for U C Riverside.

P: Did you?

M: Yeah.

P: Is that in California?

M: Yeah, it is.

P: Right.

M: Everyone wants to go to California, and play volleyball, laugh.

P: Laugh.

M: [Sound of failure], did not get in. Anyway, so Sara Mednick says:

“Imagine a silent epidemic wreaking havoc on our health, endangering our safety and straining our relationships with family and loved ones. The body count rises dramatically, yet no presidential task forces are assembled, no big celebrity fund-raisers are held, and very little outcry is heard I the media. As a result, millions of afflicted people go on as if nothing is amiss and the spread of the disease continues unabated. This is not an imaginary scenario. The plague is upon us. It’s called fatigue.”

P: Oh, that’s so dramatic, I like it.

M: I could have been an actress.

P: Laugh.

M: I gave that, my all.

P: Yeah, it was good.

M: But you don’t expect it to be fatigue.

P: Hmm, no.

M: Yet, there are so many physical and mental health issues that come up if you have sustained lack of sleep.

P: Yep, there’s so much more awareness of this coming out and a lot more people are doing things to promote the value of the sleep. There are some brilliant Ted talks out there.

M: Mmm.

P: I’m going to bring up my good old mate, Professor Ian Hickie from Swinburne University in Melbourne [Professor of Psychiatry and Co-Director of the Mind and Brain Institute at Sydney University]. He is the sleep dude, he’s the sleep doctor, laugh. He’s very vocal on how sleep affects our health and what it does for our mental and physical health.

M: Yep.

M: So, the best thing you can do to wake up happy, ahead of your morning routine, is to get enough sleep.

P: Done! Number two, I like this.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Set your alarm to [singing] ‘happy music!’

M: Are you going to start singing again. [Singing] ‘Because I’m Happy.’

P: Laugh. For me it would be a Disney tune.

M: Laugh.

P: I actually tried this. I did actually set my alarm to ‘Hakuna Matata.’

M: Disney, yes!

P: From ‘The Lion King.’

M: Yes!

P: But, get this! It was too much!

M: Laugh!

P: I couldn’t, I couldn’t handle ‘Hakuna Matata’ when I was coming out of sleep.

M: No!

P: It was too, it was too happy!

M: Wow, laugh.

P: It was too bright.

M: Laugh.

P: I did this a few years ago, and I was like ‘I’m gonna do this and it’s gonna be fabulous. I like wake up and it’s like ‘What in the hell is going on! There’s a meerkat in my head and it won’t let me go.’

M: Laugh. That’s the way to hate Disney.

P: Laugh, well it doesn’t if you don’t go overboard. There’s this whole thing, I love this, sleep inertia.

M: Yes.

P: It’s a thing, it’s like forest bathing, it’s a thing. Sleep Inertia is experienced as a feeling of grogginess or a lack of alertness when you wake.

M: Oh, I hate that.

P: Yeah.

M: For me if the room’s too dark, I really struggle with waking up. I end up with sleep inertia.

P: Mmm.

M: If I can wake up gently and slowly on the weekends with light coming in my room.

P: Oh, yeah.

M: That is my ideal way of waking up.

P: And I agree. I think it’s a really nice way of waking. So I switched from ‘Hakuna Matata’ –

M: Mmm hmm.

P: – to ABC Classical FM.

M: Ah, yeah. That way you get a bit of variety. I’ve got this weird Celtic music with rainfall and birds chirping at the moment.

P: That works, yeah.

M: But I’m a bit over it.

P: Yeah, and you can. You can get over your alarm.

M: Yeah.

P: So I think changing your alarm is actually really important. But what they say is that soft melodic music, irrespective of the specific type or genre, leads to significantly reduced feelings of sleep inertia when compared with alternative music such as a melodic beeping alarms or high pitched.

M: Like: Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep…

P: Oh my god. Who wants to wake up to that! I’d slap someone if they did that to me.

M: Yep, yet so many of us don’t change our alarms.

P: Yeah, laugh. I remember volleyball mornings, having that alarm to make sure I woke up at some ungodly hour, so I get to the court on time because my coach said I had to be there 45 minutes before the game started.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Not looking at anyone, Marie Skelton…

Back to the point. Beeping noises don’t work.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Don’t do it. It’s not good. It’s not pleasant.

M: And you’ve got a story to tell about sleeping in, don’t you?

P: I do. This is quite cute. So, a NASA astronaut went to the International Space Station and he set some alarms for himself because, he said, “I had to wake up before the sunrise over the earth.” I mean, you’re on the international space station, it’s a big thing.

M: Which is something you train for your whole life to be an astronaut.

P: Yes.

M: And this is it!

P: It’s the moment! And you don’t want to sleep at all because you want to take the most out of this moment.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Someone slept through their alarm…

M: Twice, right?

P: Laugh!

M: Twice!

P: Laugh, [fail noise]. So, the quote is:

“The morning started disastrously. I slept through two alarms, one set for 0600 and another half an hour later to remind me to take some Crew Earth Observation (CEO) pictures. My body apparently went on strike for better working conditions.

M: And that’s what happens when you don’t get enough sleep.

P: Laugh.

M: Or maybe have a Beep, Beep, Beep alarm.

P: Yeah, and you don’t want to wake up.

M: And you get sleep inertia.

P: Yep. Find some nice music, some melodic raindrop music is good.

M: Or some happy music. Whatever makes you happy.

P: Yeah, but don’t go ‘Hakuna Matata’ cause it’s too much.

M: You know I really am actually going to go with ‘Hakuna Matata’ this week.

P: Laugh.

M: I want to see how it goes.

P: Laugh. I say ‘Snow White’ you know, [singing] ‘Someday my Prince will come…’

M: I think ‘Over the rainbow’.

P: Oooh.

M: My Grandma used to sing it to me. It has meaning.

P: Yes, yeah that works. Ok, number three.

M: Yeah. I’m going to start with ‘Hakuna Matata’ though.

P: Laugh.

M: So, this is what I’m really bad at, but all the science says to do it.

P: Laugh.

M: And again I’m going to say that, and I’m going to point to Sonja Lyubomirsky, who is the Queen of Gratitude research around the world.

P: I remember going through her name and trying to figure out how to say it.

M: I think we’ve listened to it on Ted talks. So, I’m pretty confident about this one.

P: Laugh.

M: And Chic-sent-me-hail [Csikszentmihalyi]

P: Laugh!

M: Everyone else I apologise for ruining your name.

P: Laugh, amygdala…

M: But Sonja Lyubomirsky has written books and has published so much research about the benefits of gratitude. And she herself says, she doesn’t Gratitude Journal. She doesn’t, because it’s not her thing. It’s not for her. It doesn’t speak to her.

P: Right.

M: So, I’m going to talk about something that just doesn’t speak to me, and it is doing light exercise or stretching in the morning.

P: Yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

M: So, if you can fit 15 minutes, just 15 minutes and make this a happiness habit during your morning routine, it can set you up for a great, great day.

P: It so works.

M: Light exercise can be just walk around the block or having a good stretch in the sun.

P: Mmm, yep.

M: Something to get your blood pumping and your body moving.

P: Mmm hmm, mmm hmm.

M: There are so many studies and so much research.

P: It just so works. I found this when I was dancing, and I joined a company in Brisbane. And I had this beautiful apartment that had a 180-degree view over the Brisbane skyline and I would wake up and I’d spend 45… I started with 20 minutes, it ended up being 60 minutes because I had this beautiful view and I’d do 60 minutes of yoga. And then walk down to Brumbies and get a loaf of bread and comeback.

M: So last week I was like, Okay, I’m sick of bailing on the gym. I really need to do better.

P: Laugh.

M: I’m going to wake up an hour earlier and go the gym. Which is in my building complex, it is that easy to go to, laugh.

P: You have two…

M: I have no excuses at all!

P: Laugh!

M: For not going to the gym.

P: Laugh.

M: And I set my alarm an hour earlier… And then snoozed.

P: Laugh.

M: Not only did I set my alarm –

P: Oh, hang on. What was your alarm sound?

M: It told me what the weather was going to be today. It then told me what I had in my calendar for the day.

P: Yeah, I’d be asleep already. No, I’d be asleep already.

M: But it was a good 10 minutes babbling away at me.

P: Laugh, and you just laid there.

M: And I was like ‘Ahh, I can’t do this!’

P: Laughter!

M: It was still dark, it’s the middle of winter, it just didn’t happen.

P: Oh, laugh. See, I’m weird because middle of winter is when I do get up.

M: Ah, no.

P: I remember being in London and I would get up at five AM, walk to the gym and I would go running for 20 minutes and then do an hour of yoga.

M: Remember, I said, if it’s dark, my body, just my body clock doesn’t handle that. My body is in its ideal state when it wakes up to light.

P: Mmm.

M: And I wake up at 6 AM in the summer, but 7:30 in the winter –

P: Yeah.

M: – really happily and gladly. So, 6 AM is not the problem, it’s the light for me.

P: And I’m not a morning person, but I was five AM. It was pitch black, I’d walk to the gym in pitch black London winter, and I did that more consistently through winter than I did through summer.

M: Ok. You’re better than me, I get it.

P: Oh! It is not a judgement call. Harsh!

M & P: Laugh!

M: Well, for all of you other people are there who are better than me.

P: Laugh.

M: If you can fit 15 or 20 minutes of exercises or stretching into your morning again it’ll just set your body up physically for a good day.

P: Yeah, it does. Play with the dog. That’s where dogs come in great.

M: Kids!

P: Kids get you out of bed.

M: Yeah.

P: I tell my clients my clients this, get on the floor and play with your Children. It is so healthy for you and so good for you. And if they’re up at 5.30 AM going Mum, mum, mum!

M: Then don’t yourself. You can’t actually hit snooze on your kids.

P: No, you can try?

M: Laugh.

P: They might slap you back one day.

M: We are not advocating for violence.

P: Laugh. Right. Moving on, number 4. I like this one.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Put away your smartphone. Put away your device. Do not reach for your phone first thing in the morning.

Now, I will quote a very known talk by a… I have to get this right*. He is an army General, and he was giving a valedictorian speech at his university and he talked about the importance of making your bed, first thing in the morning.

*See Show notes above

M: Of course an army General would say that!

P: But, no. He was really good.

M: Complete with the… what do they call the corners? hospital corners?

P: Yep. So, he talked about the fact that making your bed first thing in the morning is more than just doing what you’re told to do. It sets you up for achieving the first task of the day. Now, what I like about this is that you’re waking up and your first thought doesn’t go to, ‘I need to grab my phone, I need to check my emails’ because your phone goes off during the night and people, especially if you’ve got overseas friends, they’re posting to you.

M: Yeah.

P: So, if you reach for your phone first thing in the morning, you could spend 5 to 10 minutes scrolling because –

M: You could spend 30 minutes to an hour scrolling.

P: Okay, all right, some people do it more than me, laugh.

M: A lot of people are.

P: All right, Ok. So, this is a normal thing. Most people go through their phone first thing in the morning, have a lie in bed scrolling.

M: A lot of people reach for their phone to turn off their alarm and get suckered by what’s on the screen there.

P: Yep, yep.

M: And if you’ve ever seen there’s a great Netflix documentary called ‘The Social Dilemma.’

P: Oh yes, yes.

M: Which talks about how phones are there to give you dopamine hits, they’re there to suck you in. It’s like gambling or drinking first thing in the morning for an addict.

P: Yep. Imagine that. Imagine waking up and having a poker machine next to your bed and going straight to it.

M: Yep.

P: That is what you are doing with your smartphone.

M: And that is what so many people around the world are doing. And not only that you are handing away your control of how you start your day.

P: Yeah.

M: You’re allowing your phone to dictate whether you’re seeing your ex’s photos of their wedding.

P: Yes.

M: Or…

P: That is not a happy morning.

M: No, it’s not.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Save that for lunchtime when you’ve already had a coffee or something, like Jeez.

P: When you could throw something at some one.

M & P: Laugh.

M: Yep.

P: Again, we are not advocating violence.

M: So, again a lot of these activities… So, we have said:

  • Get eight hours of sleep.
  • Start with a happy alarm music.
  • Do some light exercise or stretching; and definitely
  • Put away your smartphone.

M: A lot of the most successful people in the world time and time again have a morning routine, and it does not include scrolling aimlessly on social media. Now there’s a time and place for that.

P: Definitely, sure.

M: But first thing in the morning just sets you down the wrong path, and it gives control of your a day and your thoughts over to someone else already takes it out of your control.

P: Yes, absolutely. It’s already imprinting on your subconscious of things that you should be doing or that you don’t have.

M: Yep. And like you were saying with the army General [navy Admiral], this about taking control of the start of your day.

P: Make your bed!

M: Make your bed, do some stretching, whatever works for you.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Again, back to Sonja Lyubomirsky who doesn’t gratitude journaling herself, even though she knows how beneficial it is.

P: Laugh.

M: Take control of your day. For me, what I find passion in is writing. And so, I always spend time every morning writing.

P: Mmm, nice. So, I used to be an exercise person first thing in the morning. But since studying, I’ve actually found that I’m really good at sitting down at a desk and doing a bit of reading first thing in the morning. I’m sharp.

M: Focus work.

P: I’m on. Yeah, yeah, it’s really good and the other thing that I’ve noticed as well, and this is backed up by some nutritional advice, a segway here, don’t have a coffee first thing. Have something else before you have your first coffee, because your cortisol levels are hugely high when you first wake up. Your body starts producing cortisol 60 minutes to 30 months before you wake up, so there’s a big spike in your cortisol levels to get everything going. To, get your systems ready for what’s about to come.

If you throw caffeine in the mix with that, apparently it’s a really bad combination. So, something like lemon water, hot lemon water is a really good thing to have before you have anything, even food, even glucose can be something that’s too much first thing.

M: And I’ll add in, if you’re trying to lose weight, that’s an even better way. It’s a win-win.

P: Oh, yeah.

M: Putting a big cup of water into your belly.

P: Yep.

M: Helps you not over-eat.

P: Yeah, exactly.

M: All right, we’re going to move and quickly talk about our last one, which is expressing gratitude.

P: Oh, we talk about this all the time.

M: The final thing to start your day in a happy mood. Again, we’ve talked about positive affirmations. We’ve talked about gratitude. Both of them are training your brain to create those positive associations and also, you know, if you’re particularly focused on the negative, you’re training your brain, you’re creating those neurons, those highways where negative thought is repeated. This is about creating the positive thought highways in your brain.

P: Yep, train your brain to see the positive. We are negatively geared. We look for the negative because that’s our evolutionary mind map. But if you can train that positive ‘Oh my God, it’s so works!’

M: Absolutely.

P: It’s so good for you.

M: Wake up in the morning and do your light exercise and stretching while thinking of things that you’re grateful for, or that you appreciated, that were good with your day the day before, or even looking forward. Three things you’re looking forward to in the next week.

P: Yes.

M: Really easy.

P: You can set that up in the night before. You could put a post it note on your mirror in your bathroom of the positive thing. And so that’s the first thing you see in the morning.

M: Yep. The other thing here, if we’re you know being science led.

P: Ooh!

M: A study by Emmons and McCullough, who are big in this space, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, showed that participants who kept a Gratitude Journal, weekly for 10 weeks or daily for two weeks, experienced more positive moods, optimism about the future and better sleep.

P: Oh.

M: So, it’s all circular. So not only are you going to wake up more rested, you’ll start your day better as well.

P: What a lovely thought.

M: Yes, great way to end. But I do have one more thing to throw in here because it is something that I have started adding to my mornings. I do 60 seconds of laughter yoga in front of the mirror in the morning.

P: Laugh.

M: And for me this is like the sky diving of happiness.

P: Laugh! Wheee!

M: This is me saying, I’m not just committing to a good day. I’m living my life!

P: Oh, yes!

M: And choosing, choosing to love my life every day and of course things go wrong. Don’t get me wrong.

P: Yep.

M: Doesn’t mean I finished the day with laughter, laughter yoga mindset.

P: Laugh.

M: But this is this is fully choosing and empowering myself to experience life. I hope you will have happy beginnings of your days for the next week.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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Has Covid Hurt Extroverts and Helped Introverts?

by

The Pandemic Personality Phenomena

There have been tremendous consequences resulting from the COVID pandemic, most of which have garnered news headlines, changed our way of living “normal” lives, impacted the global economy, and presented unquantifiable mental wellness challenges. And in the midst of this chaos, everyone’s emotional center of gravity has shifted in an unprecedented manner.  One unforeseeable conundrum brought about by the pandemic is how forced isolation, and the worldwide lockdown, has changed two primary intrinsic personality traits: introversion and extroversion.

By definition, extroverts are outgoing, vibrant and have a hard time turning away attention. One might perceive these folks as happy, content, resilient and alive, very much focused on improving their wellbeing by connecting with others. Conversely, introverts are more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than on what’s happening externally; they enjoy spending time with just one or two people, rather than large groups of people. But don’t confuse introversion with shyness, it’s not related. Similarly, it’s fair to say no one person is all extrovert or all introvert – we all sit on a sliding scale, and some days we might be more, or less, introverted or extroverted.

It’s also worth pointing out that although these behaviours are what we see on the outside, on the inside introversion and extraversion have less to do with how many friends you have, and more to do with where you get your energy. Extroverts tend to get their energy from other people, enjoying talking and listening to others. They feel comfortable around others and tend to have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. On the other hand, introverts get their energy from ideas and memories and are often found pursuing passions alone or with only one or two other people. In short, introverts look to themselves as a first step, while extroverts look to others for their inspiration, energy and passion.

Although time alone from the flow of life is comfortable and safe for introverts, generally speaking, introverts suffer more from depression, a sense of solemnity and find it challenging to find their happy place – but there is differing research on this.

How Covid has Flipped the Script on Introverts and Extroverts

Social scientists and psychologists studying Covid’s externally imposed change in living conditions, interpersonal relations and personality traits have noticed an interesting – and perhaps confounding reality: many introverts found the pandemic comforting. They no longer felt obligated to participate in the stream of life and because everyone on the planet was forced to experience what they choose to go through every day. In fact, many self-identified introverts (myself included) are dreading a post-pandemic world and a return to “normal.”  

Extroverts, for their part, were suddenly forced into an environment contrary to their daily existence, restrained from exhibiting their intrinsic outgoing behaviours. Chris Croll, a writer and empathy activist, wrote in a recent article called ‘Confessions of an Extrovert During Quarantine’ that “after months of not doing the things that make us feel plugged into society, we start to wither. Add in the lack of novelty from spending time with the same few people for months, and the tumult going on in the world around us, and it is a perfect storm for depression to set in.”

The takeaway from this pandemic personality phenomenon is that there has been an extraordinary change in the way extroverts and introverts view happiness and wellbeing, primarily because they have experienced a dynamic shift in their perceptions. Extroverts have been forced to look more inward at their emotions, while introverts have experienced an awkward sense of comfort in observing extroverts forced into a reality most of them live (and love) every day. This doesn’t mean that roles have reversed. Rather, it exemplifies that there has been a sea change in how both introverts and extroverts understand one another – empathy has taken on new meaning for both.  

A Social Experiment Before Our Eyes

in lockdown at window

Early in 2020, both introverts and extroverts were going about their lives, coexisting as best they knew how. Once the reality of Covid shocked the world and restrictions were put in place to protect the global population, however controversial, they happened at lightning speed. None of us had time to prepare for what was to come. The one thing we DID know is that for once, regardless of our personality traits, we were ALL in an unknown place together. And, while there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel, a tragedy on the scale of the pandemic is likely to take years before the true impact on our collective – and individual wellbeing – is understood. 

Psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne refers to the pandemic in the context of the “time of measurement” effect – the rare historical event so profound that it alters perceptions and personalities. The same thing happened after the 1918 Flu Pandemic, World War I and II. People, regardless of whether they were introverts or extroverts, happy or sad, suffered years of psycho-social challenges. Today’s situation is no different. If you stop and think about your own life the last year, you probably can remember times when you felt that like what was happening was surreal – and you were right.

You may have ventured outside your home, either due to work or just a desire to get out from the “prison” of your home and wondered what hidden dangers could threaten your health if you got too close to someone else or touched a potentially contagious surface. You may have felt particularly vulnerable when you heard of friends or family who were struck by the disease leaving you with the feeling that the world – your world – was unravelling. Given the situation, these uncomfortable emotions – anxiety, fear, anger and depression – are understandable despite being different and, for some folks, contrary to their natural state of being.

The results of a newly published international investigation conducted by Israel’s Ben Gurion University of the Neved’s Alexander Reznik and colleagues reported in Psychology Today on their efforts to quantify the nature of COVID-19 anxiety. Approached by colleagues for help on a project to develop a new test measuring COVID-19 fear, Reznik recruited a research team from Russia and Belarus to coordinate a rapid-response study. Within 48 hours, the Israeli-led researchers distributed “The Fear of COVID-19 Scale (FCV-19S)” through their international network based on contacts within the University of the Negev—Regional Alcohol and Drug Abuse Research (RADAR) Center.

As background to the study, the authors noted that “unlike armed conflicts that tend to have boundaries, infectious disease outbreaks are one of the most distressing forms of disaster to deal with psychologically because of the uncertainty they cause.” People feel vulnerable and at risk, and “staying braced for the unknown takes a toll on physical and mental wellbeing.” Given the focus of the authors on harmful substance use, Reznik’s study also suggested that knowing the signs of COVID-19 fear can also help prevent or reduce what can become problem behaviours that develop in response to this fear.

Within the sphere of larger efforts to manage population-level COVID-19 fear, the authors acknowledged that we have all heard a great deal about social distancing, wearing masks and washing hands, but not so much about how to prevent the mental health effects from spreading. What this means for all of us is that we have to accept personal responsibility for our happiness and mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. No one is going to rescue us! So, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, your escape hatch is at your fingertips – it must come from within. 

Time Will Tell The True Impact of the Impact on Introverts and Extroverts

introvert on bed with computer

It is important to acknowledge that, while many countries are opening up and stay-at-home restrictions are being lifted, others are still stifled by policies restricting their movement, preventing them from re-entering society to pre-pandemic norms. Additionally, although the vaccine roll-outs in the U.K. and the U.S. have progressed quickly and seen a decline in cases and a relaxing of lockdowns, the rest of the world lags in their roll-out of the vaccine and we’re yet to fully understand the implications of the new Covid variants.

By no means is the pandemic over. And there is no way to predict its long-term impact on our lives as a global community. People are still suffering and dying, forced to be separated from loved ones, unable to reintegrate into the workplace and suffering unimaginable psychological, emotional and spiritual pain. This means that the introversion-extroversion phenomenon, and its long-term impact on human interaction may not be known – and understood – for years.

Human beings were designed to be resilient, and the pandemic has tested our ability to face an unfamiliar challenge. Regardless of whether you are an introvert or extrovert, and not quite sure how to integrate gracefully back into work, social activities and relationships, there are hopeful signs that we may be more ready than we think. Introverts and extroverts have learned a lot from the pandemic, and each other. These inherent personality traits have much to offer to help us better understand one another and ourselves. If nothing else, it just may be that we are witnessing the beginning of a beautiful, transcendent change in interpersonal relationships that is long overdue.

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for the latest positive psychology news and happiness and resilience resources!

How Nature Affects Your Loneliness (E72)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk how nature affects your loneliness and why nature is so important for your mental health.

Show notes

During the podcast Pete references a study where findings indicated the need for both residential and non-residential areas in a city. It was incorrectly referenced to The Australian Institute of Health and Wellness and can be found in a University of NSW study through the following link.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: Hey, hey.

P: And we’re back.

M: We’re back.

P: Laugh, how’s your week been Marie?

M: Um… really, really good, but really exhausting.

P: Laugh.

M: You know, those days that you look back on and they’re so rewarding.

P: Ahh yeah. You can taste that pound of flesh.

M: Laugh.

P: Shakespeare had it right.

M: Absolutely, and this week I was organising a bunch of interviews with customers.

P: Mmm.

M: Tio hear their personal stories and we had some really vulnerable and authentic people come in and share their, their good and their bad.

P: Oh yeah.

M: And how large organisations have and haven’t supported them through those moments. And that’s things that all of this go through you know we’re all vulnerable at different times in our lives. And unfortunately, you can’t just read from a script when things are going on around you.

P: Nope, gotta relate.

M: So, I think a lot of this came out of the Royal Commission a few years ago in the banking and the insurance industries.

P: Ahh, interesting.

M: You know, despite companies in theory, trying to do the right thing and ensure a consistent level of service. You know, there are some things you just can’t script and we’re human, we’re messy.

P: Yep.

M: Life is messy.

P: Yeah, it is, very.

M: Yeah, but it was wonderful to just have those open and heart-warming and gut-wrenching discussions with people who were there to help us be better.

P: Yeah that’s doing the work, isn’t it?

M: Yeah. Yeah, kind of. Having a chat with people who are lovely, laugh.

P: It is but putting yourself in the vulnerable position and putting yourself in the receptive position as well.

M: Yeah.

P: Which relates directly to work that we do for our self-esteem and our well-being to create happiness and to ensure longevity and happiness.

M: Yep. Yes. Yeah, definitely. How about you? How was your week?

P: My week’s been lovely, laugh. The accelerator is off, sorry the pedal is off… the pedal? The foot! What am I going for here, Marie? Laugh!

M: You’re slowing things down.

P: See I’m trying to do a racing car reference and it’s just not working. I should just stick to fashion walking.

M & P: Laughter!

P: The foot is off the accelerator, shall we say, just slightly. So, I’ve had a very [good week] yeah. So, I said to a friend of mine who’s a professor of physiotherapy at Sydney University, ‘Should I be this relaxed?’ Laugh.

And he said, ‘Yeah if you’ve done the work, you should be Ok. I’m like ‘Ok, I’m good.’

M: Until the night before the exams.

P: Well, that’s what I said, ‘Call me next Tuesday.’

M & P: Laugh!

M: So, what are we talking about this week?

P: Ooh, we’re talking about green spaces! Laugh.

M: And loneliness.

P: And loneliness, yes. A new study out by a couple of Australians?

M: Yes. So, Thomas Astell-Burt from the University of Wollongong and Xiaoqi Feng from the University of New South Wales. I apologise if I have mispronounced your name… yet again.

P & M: Laugh!

M: And they’ve just recently released findings from a longitudinal study which was published in the International Journal of Epidemiology, which finds that adults in neighbourhoods were at least 30% of nearby land, was parks, reserves and woodlands had a 26%, so 1 in 4 percent lower odds of becoming lonely compared to their peers in areas of less than 10% green space.

P: This is very in vogue, this kind of investigation and this kind of study in terms of looking at how our liveable cities do better and how they have a social impact.

M: Absolutely, so there are so many different fields of study that are looking at green space. In one of our previous episodes on liveable cities, we looked at green space.

P: Mmm.

M: I think we talked about in Paris there is a big push to put green areas and walking areas along the Seine.

P: Yes.

M: Yes, a lot of big cities are doing it. London is greening a lot of their poorer neighbourhoods.

P: Yes.

M: So, they’re investing in poorer neighbourhoods and again this study was just saying 26% lower odds of becoming lonely compared to peers in areas of less than 10% green space and that 10% green space, that tends to be the slums and your low socio-economic areas of large cities.

P: Yeah, the poverty areas.

M: Yeah, yeah.

P: And we’ve talked about this before, but there was also a similar study done on the links between your health rate on your suburban location in Australia.

M: Yep.

P: And that was an ABC report that we’ve mentioned in a couple of episodes that it depends on which suburb you live in a city which actually comm predetermine your health outcomes and your literacy, your financial situation. Your access to the good things of life, really.

M: Yep, so this is one of those many things and you wouldn’t think just having parks.

P: Ahh, it’s so important.

M: Yep.

P: The built-in environment has actually a huge impact. We’ve actually studied in one of my subjects in this semester, The built-in environment and its impact on health. We don’t realise that the areas in which we live have a huge impact on how we interact, what we do, how were shuffled around in terms of pedestrianisation.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And what they… I think it was the Australian Institute of Health and Wellness [apologies it was UNSW]. In their study [they] published saying that cities need to be a mix of residential and non-residential, ideally because –

M: And not just residential and commercial and industrial, but residential and parkland.

P: Well, it also said there is a place for –

M: Socialising?

P: – commercial and industrial within the landscape, because if you have all residential, then you get too much density. So, the cross section of the area needs to include all elements that includes industrial.

M: Not necessarily industrial. So, I think there’s some really good work that was being done just outside of Washington D.C, where they were putting train stops and then building in your parking, first layer of commercial and then residential and building little zones where you don’t need a car for your area.

P: Mmm.

M: So, you can do everything you need to do day to day within walking distance. And if you have to go somewhere industrial, which in old times meant it would pollute your air, they put those as far away as possible.

P: Mmm.

M: So, they don’t put an airport right next to a residential area for instance. So, there is some industrial nowadays, but you don’t end up with a lot of higher chemicals and air pollution.

P: Yeah, white industrial vs. big plants and things like that.

M: Yes. So, anyway, this study is looking at the intersection of mental health and green spaces and loneliness in particular.

P: Why loneliness, Marie?

M: [dramatic pause] … Because you’ll die!

P & M: Laughter!

P: It’s a bit of a catchphrase now, isn’t it?

M: Laugh.

P: We talk about dying a lot here, laugh.

M: I know, everything makes you die these days.

P & M: Laugh!

M: So, in 2019 the World Economic Forum put out a lot of research and published a lot of research on loneliness. 2019 was loneliness, 2020 was burnout.

P: Mmm.

M: But these lifestyle and health, mental health and lifestyle conditions are becoming increasingly more common across all generations and around the world and across all cultures.

P: I think we’re becoming a little bit more aware of them as well. I think people are, I think people are more inclined to admit that they might feel lonely a little bit more. And we’re more aware that our mental health impacts our physical health. And so, our understanding of the impacts of psychological stress of psychological disorders we understand they’re things to be discussed. Whereas 50 years ago you didn’t discuss them, it was like you have a cup of tea, you get on with life.

M: I think loneliness is one of the last ones that still has such a stigma around it.

P: Mmm.

M: It’s not easy to say I have no friends.

P: Yeah true.

M: Or I want someone to love.

P: Mmm.

M: You know, and to admit that to yourself, let alone other people. And to be quite fair, admitting it to other people can backfire.

P: That’s true.

M: And even worse spiral.

P: Mmm.

M: So, the world economic forum said that 40% – and this, this really got me because whenever I think loneliness, I think of elderly people with mobility issues who live alone.

P: Yep, and you’d be right because that’s a –

M: Big, big, group that are lonely in general, but The World Economic Forum said that 40% of under 25 year-olds report feeling lonely.

P: That’s scary.

M: And to me, that is a sign of our times, because you could be standing in a room full of people, a crowded room and still feel lonely even though you’re not alone.

P: Yes.

M: And a lot of our youth have grown up using phones.

P: Mmm hmm, and they don’t have the social skills.

M: Exactly, yeah. So, there’s a lot of people who aren’t truly connecting, even though they’re standing in that crowded room or crowded Facebook or Instagram, laugh.

P: Yeah, but that’s the thing is that they don’t have the understanding or the know how to strike up a conversation. I remember feeling a little bit like that when I moved to Melbourne from being in the country, the first time I’d really lived in a big city. And I remember talking to some of my friends who were going to university at that time and I was always amazed at how this one guy Robbie, he could talk to anybody. He could just walk into a room and strike up a conversation. I’m like ‘How do you do it?!’

M & P: Laughter.

P: [How do] you have that confidence?

M: So, you went to… You grew up in a small town, didn’t you?

P: Mmm hmm, yeah.

M: I think that is really harmful to kids.

P: Laugh.

M: So, I went to a preschool that fed into a primary school that fed into high school that fed into college.

P: Yep.

M: And then we went to one of two universities in our city, laugh!

P: Yeah. So, you know everyone.

M: Yeah, and the class split [at university]. Whereas when I went overseas, that was the first time I actually had to make friends.

P: Mmm.

M: The first time we didn’t show up and have people – I might not have liked them too much, but I could always hang out with them, right?

P: Laugh.

M: But thankfully I went to a country where I was the novelty. So, the second opened my mouth, I had an accent, and people would go ‘oh, where are you from?’ It’s an opener.

P: It’s an icebreaker.

M: Yep, absolutely. But I’ve always thought that for small town kids it’s tough if you’ve never moved [or] had to start from scratch anywhere.

P: Mmm.

M: And the first time you’re doing that is when you go off to university or in your first job, you miss a lot of the growth that comes from those social interactions.

P: Yeah, yeah, I think there are also other advantages as well as disadvantages sometimes in that you get more social interaction in the country down. Perhaps this is an opportunity of meeting more people in a way, because in the city you cloister, you… Yeah, I can see the pros and cons of both sides.

M: Yeah.

P: Yeah.

M: I think when you’re older, it’s a bit different but when you’re younger. You’ve got your sports group’s and your music groups, school, church.

P: You’re constantly meeting people, definitely.

M: Yeah, definitely. But I do hear what you say when you’re an adult and you moved to a big city.

P: Yeah, and it’s challenging. And being thrown in the deep end is actually one of the best things you can do. You just jump in and go, ‘Right, here I go!’ Laugh.

M: So this study shows that the benefits of having more green area around you are even stronger for people who do live alone. And that’s really important because we’re living in this world of abundance.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: We’re, we’re spoiled, let’s be honest. Really, really honest, in Australia. Yep, you might not be able buy house, but the house that our parents could buy 100 years ago [maybe 200] was a hut on the master’s property, with no running water.

P: Yeah, laugh.

M: So it’s only maybe the last 50 years that homeownership looked the way it did.

P: Hmm.

M: It is changing again now, but we are also finding that a lot more people are living alone and choosing to live alone.

P: Mmm, yes. Yeah. That trend is definitely going up.

M: Yep. My mom wants to live… alone is the wrong word, but wants to be independent and have her own space.

P: Yeah.

M: And, you know, as do many other people. So there are more of us living by ourselves. But if you’re going to live by yourself, then you’ll be less lonely if you have more green space around you. And the reason the researchers think this is the case is that when you go and spend more time in parks and enjoying the outdoors and getting outside of your home, there’s more chances for light interaction but also deep interaction.

P: Mmm, I agree. It’s the cycle path phenomenon again. We know that cycle ways create social and community interaction.

M: Really? I didn’t know this one about cycle ways.

P: Remember when we did the liveable cities episodes?

Designing Happy Cities (E19)
Designing Happy Cities (E19)

P: Cycle paths are the new black remember?

P & M: Laugh.

M: Yes dear, yes dear.

P & M: Laugh.

P: It is the social aspect of cycle pathways; It creates a sense of community because you see people out on the streets. It’s like driving a convertible, I get this all the time now that I drive a convertible, people think they can talk to you.

M: We’re just going to leave that there. It’s red by the way.

P: It is.

M: Laugh.

P: Well, it’s really funny how people are, they feel like it’s an obligation, or they can have a conversation with you when you’re pulled up with the lights.

M: Laugh!

P: Sometimes not always a pleasant conversation. It’s like, what do you mean you want me to go there’s 16 cars in front of me dude, what do you want!

M: Laugh.

P: You can have these interactions with people because you’ve got an open top and they go ‘oh, I can talk to this person.’ Laugh.

M: It’s a really funny situation though, have you ever looked over and seen someone picking their nose in their car?

P: Totally, yeah.

M: Exactly. We’ve all seen it, right?

P: Laugh!

M: Or singing their heart out with no –

P: Yes! I love it, it’s great!

M: shame, no shame. But if they ever saw anyone watching them, they would stop straight away and feel embarrassed by it.

P: Yes, yes, true.

M: There’s something about having that roof on, that gives you this weird sense of privacy.

P: Laugh.

M: Anyway, we digress. Laugh.

P: The point being that if you’re out and about, you invite interaction whether you want it to or not, it’s there.

M: So, we will make you not be lonely, whether you want it or not!

P: Laugh! We’re enforcing this! I you want to go sit on the park bench bad luck I’m coming and sitting next to you, laugh!

M: Mmm hmm and have a conversation. So, look I thought that was interesting that it had such a huge impact on people who live alone. But there was also a really surprising finding from their study. So, the researchers found that more green space didn’t provide relief from loneliness.

P: Mmm, yeah.

M: So, if you’re already lonely, having more parks around doesn’t change anything.

P: Which goes to say that there’s another intervention that needs to happen there. So, we need to find another source of dealing with that issue rather than just putting parks in place. Parks won’t be enough. They’re good for creating –

M: They’re good for stopping [loneliness].

P: Yeah, they’re not, they’re not going to treat it. For people who are already suffering from loneliness, there needs to be further intervention that level.

M: Yep, one of the other things that we spoke about this year was birds. Do you remember that study?

P: Birds?

M: Have you got worms tonight Pete?

P: I’m trying to get comfortable with this new microphone and it’s hemming me into the couch.

M: Laugh.

P: I’m feeling attacked! Laugh!

M: Sorry we’re having audio issues tonight.

P: Laugh!

M: We’ve invested in super smick – smick?

P: Smick, shit, laugh.

M: Super schmick microphones and Pete’s squirming like a five-year-old who has to eat his peas and carrots.

P & M: Laugh.

P: I don’t like peas and carrots.

M: Anyway.

P: Birds.

M: Remember we spoke about birds.

P: Oh, yes, yes, yes.

M: How diversity in birds increases happiness as well, and I think it’s all interlinked if you’ve got more trees and park space, you know naturally you’ll have more birds.

P: Well, the other factor that comes into when they talk about city design and the built-in environment and how it affects us is walkability.

M: Yes.

P: So, the ability to actually walk somewhere and, not feel threatened for it to be well lit to have a consistent pathway of consistent pedestrianisation on your journey that has huge impacts on how we use the space on that is going to encourage people to get out of their homes and not jump in the car and drive to the mall or drive to the shopping centre.

M: Or drive to work?

P: Or drive to work.

M: This’s where I think America boomed and their cities sprawled.

P: Yes.

M: And they’ve built their cities for big freeways and car travel and kept their gas prices low. To enable everyone to have the dream of a home and a car.

P: Yes.

M: Right? And I think we know that London and Paris and Rome have infrastructure issues because they’re just such old, old cities.

P: Yeah. They weren’t designed that way.

M: It’s hard to put lifts in for people with physical disabilities when you’re underground is Swiss cheese and it might cause things to collapse.

P: Laugh.

M: Or all the buildings are heritage listed and the stairs are not only uneven but they’re warn down in the middle and all the rest, you know all of that stuff. But I think where America is really going to struggle is that they were built on that promise of being able to drive your car.

P: So, the accessibility of the city is not necessarily –

M: The walkability is not there.

P: Yeah, definitely.

M: In Canberra, which is one of the few or two I think fully designed cities. There’s another one [Brasilia] in South America somewhere that we have spoken about. But they designed local shops and then a suburb of residential area around it and then another local shops with residential around it. So that everyone could walk to the shops.

P: Mmm.

M: And the shops always had a kid’s playground next to it, and you know, it was designed as that being the middle of the residential hub, I guess it was the hub. But in the States, it wasn’t and that sprawl means that even if you just want to go from a butcher to the baker, it could be kilometres difference.

P: Yep, absolutely.

M: So that’s a real challenge, I think.

P: It is especially for our vulnerable populations such as children and elderly. They haven’t got the, you know, the children don’t have necessarily the access to transport. The elderly aren’t able to be mobile enough to get access to the transport.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, they are left on the fringes. Yeah, you know, my mom only goes shopping once every fortnight, and she waits until that once a fortnight, partly because of that’s just the way that she likes to go.

M: Yep. And I think, unfortunately, technology has made it easy so that you don’t have to go to the bank can do it all from home.

P: Mmm.

M: But that means you’re not getting out.

P: You’re not interacting with people anymore; You’re interacting with technology.

M: Tech, yep. Or as we’ve all found through covid we’re interacting, but not in ways that are forming deep relationships.

P: Yes, the importance of touch.

M: Laugh, don’t go touching your banker!

P: Laugh!

M: But as we’ve mentioned before those small interactions even with your coffee guy.

P: Yep, vital. Yeah. I still miss my coffee, man. Alex, where are you? You’ve left me.

M: Laugh. And we’ll need to wrap up but I just want to say that Melbourne’s gone into lock down yet again.

P: Oh, so awful… Are people trying to escape?

M: It was crappy the first time, crappy the second time, third time like ‘come on!’, fourth time everyone’s kind of just over being positive.

P: It’s about building that resilience though.

M: It’s tough, It is really tough. And you know Sydney, it’ll happen again for us I’m sure and other cities and countries around the world haven’t come out [of lockdown].

P: Yeah, exactly.

M: So, one of the best things that has been shown to increase resilience and mental health in the pandemic is to go for a walk in nature. So, if you’ve got your parks and you’re allowed to, based on your lock down laws and a lot of countries let you do some exercise, it is one of the easiest things you can do.

P: Can I say it? Can I say it?

M: Do it! Laugh.

P: Forest Bathing! It’s a real thing!

M & P: Laughter!

M: If you have a forest near you or it’s within a kilometre area that you’re allowed to. Otherwise, a local park will do.

P & M: Laugh.

P: Two hours people, go and get two hours in nature. It’s good for your immune function. It’s good for your mental health, it’s good for everything. It’s good for your stress management.

M: All of it.

P: Yep.

M: All of the above.

P: Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick!

M: Yes, and it is good for your loneliness.

P: Mmm.

M: And on that note, we’ll finish up.

P: Have a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

Please note that I get a small commission if you buy something from my site. Your support helps to keep this site going at no additional cost to you. Thanks!

Snooze Blues? How Using Your Favourite Song as an Alarm can Help you Wake up More Alert

by

Stuart McFarlane, RMIT University; Adrian Dyer, RMIT University, and Jair Garcia, RMIT University

This morning after awakening when the alarm went off, you may have experienced a feeling of grogginess and lack of alertness. This is a physiological phenomenon termed “sleep inertia”. If you experience this, you are not alone. Aboard the International Space Station a NASA astronaut reported:

The morning started disastrously. I slept through two alarms, one set for 0600 and another a half-hour later to remind me to take some CEO (Crew Earth Observation) pictures. My body apparently went on strike for better working conditions.

Good-quality sleep — and feeling alert when we wake up — is vitally important. In Australia, lost productivity due to inadequate sleep has been estimated to cost A$17.9 billion a year. Sleep inertia can last up to four hours, although it can potentially be remedied by caffeine, light, or a nice hot shower.

But here’s another potential tactic to combat morning grogginess. Our new research shows how choosing the right sound to wake up to can reduce sleep inertia.

In an initial study, we found that alarm sounds perceived as “melodic”, irrespective of the specific type or genre, lead to significantly reduced feelings of sleep inertia, when compared with alternative musical variations such as “unmelodic” beeping alarms.

“Melodic” music can be defined as a tune that’s easy to sing or hum along to, such as Madonna’s song Borderline, Midnight Oil’s Wedding Cake Island, or Happy by Pharrell Williams.

Relative frequency of alarm sound type and perceived sleep inertia.

To study this intriguing effect in more depth, we carried out a second study to evaluate the effect of wake-up music on factors such as mental alertness.

We used a custom-designed app to allow participants to wake in their own bed to different alarm sounds on their smart-phone, then immediately perform a game-like task to assess their state of alertness. Similar to the test performed by astronauts on the International Space Station to monitor changes in sustained attention, our participants were required to touch their mobile phone screen as quickly as possible when the colour of a shape changed.

Melodic alarm sounds resulted in participants having faster and more accurate responses, compared with a control group who woke up using classic alarm sounds without melody.

Do Other Alarm Sounds Influence how Well we Wake up?

We don’t always awaken to a preset alarm. Sometimes we have to wake up quickly, perhaps to a smoke alarm, for instance. Some people, such as members of the military or emergency services, have to wake promptly and immediately respond to urgent situations.

To look at these cases, we reviewed all the available research on both sound alarm design and awakening in different age groups. This revealed that in emergency scenarios, children are also receptive to how alarm sound design affects their waking state.

When children awaken in emergency conditions, a low-pitched alarm or even the sound of a human voice seem to be much more effective than conventional higher-frequency alarms at combating the effects of sleep inertia. With the right type of alarm, children demonstrated better response time and memory of events, which is likely to be important in following instructions or action plans in an emergency such as a fire.

Why are these lower-pitched sounds more effective? It might be because there are crucial frequency bandwidths and how sound is processed by the inner ear and then the brain. For example, it has been shown that music does activate certain areas of the brain that control attention, although the exact mechanisms of this effect are still being investigated.

Efficiencies of sound and waking

Given we now know that different alarm sound types can influence how humans wake in normal, residential and emergency scenarios, it is interesting to consider the possibilities presented by modern technology.

Digital audio is now readily accessible and easy to share, meaning that when we go to bed we can set ourselves an alarm consisting of almost any conceivable sound.

What’s more, wearable technology and health monitoring apps are improving so rapidly that they might be able to help us choose the exact best alarm for us. You could even tailor it to different situations: if you have to wake up early and drive kids to school, you might choose a wake-up alarm that leaves you as alert as possible, whereas you might choose something different to wake up for your Saturday morning yoga class.

Vehicles could be fitted with personalised alarms to help drivers stay focused and avoid falling asleep at the wheel. Human space exploration may one day use these types of sound treatments to maximise astronaut well-being and performance.

Like the astronauts orbiting above Earth, we all have to live and work in a complex world. Almost all of us sometimes have to wake up before we’re ready, and feel groggy as a result.

But next time you’re setting your alarm, why not try something you can sing or hum along to, or just a favourite melodic song? You might experience a refreshing change.

Related articles: Is a Good Night’s Sleep the key to Sustained Happiness?

Stuart McFarlane, Researcher, Auditory Perception and Cognition, RMIT University; Adrian Dyer, Associate Professor, RMIT University, and Jair Garcia, Research fellow, RMIT University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Getting to Know Your Strengths (E71)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about getting to know your strengths and why it’s so beneficial to your overall happiness.

Show notes

The VIA Character Strengths Survey

https://www.viacharacter.org

Get to know your greatest strengths.

Why take the survey?

The VIA (Values In Action) Survey is the only free, scientific survey of character strengths in the world. Take this simple, 15 minute character test and discover your greatest strengths. Research shows that knowing and using your character strengths can help you:

  • Increase happiness and well-being
  • Find meaning and purpose
  • Boost relationships
  • Manage stress and health
  • Accomplish goals

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: And we’re back!

P: Howdy, howdy, howdy!

M: Hi, hi, hi 😊

P: Laugh!

M: I think we’re going to have a catchphrase on our hands if we’re not careful.

P: Well, I can’t claim mine. It’s from Toy Story. “Howdy, howdy, howdy.” It’s the Sheriff.

M: Love it. Yeah, I’m sure that Disney doesn’t have really strong rights, laugh.

P: No, not at all. Laugh!

M: Laugh, great we’re going to get a cease and desist letter from Disney because we said “hello.”

P: Laugh. No, the helicopters are going to start circling around and Disney Characters/Figurines are going to start jumping onto the balcony.

M: I’d be ok with that.

P: Yeah, I know. It would be fine.

M: Maybe not.

M & P: Laughter!

M: So, today we’re talking about getting to know your strengths.

P: Grrr, I’m strong. Grrr!

M: Good, and do you know how strong you are? That’s the question.

P: I can squat 125kg.

M: Ok… We’re going down the wrong path.

P: Laugh.

M: So last week we talked about the VIA Character Strength Assessment.

P: Yes, from Penn State University, Philadelphia.

M: Yes, well done. I don’t know that Penn State University is actually in Philly?

P: It is.

M: Really?

P: Yeah, I went to the campus.

M: Mmm… Been to, what’s it called? …Another university in Philadelphia.

P & M: Laugh!

M: Played volleyball against them and Lindsay transferred from there, and she’s going to kill me for not remembering her old uni.

P: Laugh.

M: But she left them and came to us at George Mason in Virginia, so… we know who’s best.

P & M: Laugh!

M: But anyway, we are talking about getting to know your strengths. And the reason we are focusing on the VIA Survey of Character Strengths is that it is a free self- assessment, it takes less than 15 minutes.

P: Oh.

M: And it provides a wealth of actionable tips and information so that you can understand the best qualities and double down on them.

P: Now you were talking before about the shift of going away from working on your weaknesses to just embracing your strengths.

M: Absolutely. So, it used to be that you would tell employees, you know “here are the things you’re bad at, and here are the things you’re good at” and now we’ll put a development plan together to be better at the things that you’re bad at.

P: Mmm. That’s funny because we know what we’re bad at. Our bodies are hardwired evolutionary to focus on the negative.

M: Yes.

P: As a survival mode it is more important to know what you don’t have or don’t do or cannot be, because you will be able to then negate the lion that’s pacing behind you rather than focusing on ‘oh, I can run away from the lion or…’ We are hardwired to know what our weaknesses are.

M: I don’t know, as long as you can run faster than the person behind you.

P: Laugh! What sort of character trait does that say about you, Marie?

M & P: Laughter.

M: But, no. If you’re talking life or death?

P: Survival.

M: You don’t get any more cutthroat than that.

P: It’s almost like when you go to swim at the beach, as long as there’s someone out further than me a shark won’t get me.

M & P: Laughter!

M: I don’t know, they come in pretty close nowadays.

P: Laugh.

M: So, the thinking is to be for you to spend your time working on the things that you’re not good at, which is just horrible.

P: Laugh, no one wants to do that.

M: Who wants to spend 40 years of your adult life focusing on being a better communicator, when what you want to do is work with numbers on spreadsheets.

P: Laugh.

M: Right?

P: True.

M: You know, if you’re an introvert, you don’t give two hoots about Jane’s weekend with her Dad and Father’s Day presents.

P: Laugh!

M: Like, who gives a crap.

P: Laugh.

M: Right? Or the opposite. Who wants to have to be good at understanding the economics of the business when they’ve got no interest in doing that, they just want to be in marketing.

P: I’m putting my hand up there.

M: Laugh.

P: That’s so me, I just want to push people.

M & P: Laugh.

P: That’s essentially what it is, laugh.

M: So, you’ll be happy to know if you join corporate right now the thinking is that you should be doubling down on what you’re good at.

P: Mmm.

M: Obviously, if you want to achieve something and to do that you’ve got weaknesses. You might need to work on that, but you’re choosing that, right?

P: You’re choosing to focus on your weaknesses? Or your choosing?

M: Well, if you want to be the CEO, you need to be a good communicator. And if you’re not a good communicator and you want to be a CEO, you can’t just be a numbers man.

P: Yeah.

M: You can’t be the finance guy and not have that rounded experience.

P: Sure.

M: So, you can stay the finance guy, in the sweet spot and not push yourself and stretch yourself. Or you can the knowledge that you’re gonna be doing some stuff that you’re not good at. You might never be good at it, you just need to keep plugging away.

P: Mmm.

M: And I’ve actually worked for quite a few senior leaders who know that they’re not good at communicating.

P: Mmm.

M: And the sign of a good leader is that they keep trying. They know what they should keep trying.

P: Laugh.

M: There are other leaders who wipe their hands of it because they know they’re not good.

P: Righto, ok. They make no acknowledgement that they can improve?

M: Yeah, pretty much. You know, ‘I’m not good at that, I’m just not going to do any videos.’

P: Yeah, right.

M: Well, that’s how some of your people want to hear from you.

P: Yes, exactly.

M: So you don’t get to just walk away from things you’re not good at if you choose that type of career.

P: Mmm.

M: Yeah.

P: It also comes in to putting yourself out there, in discomfort. We learn from discomfort.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: You learn.

M: You grow.

P: Yeah, you grow, it’s that growth phase and it’s not necessarily pleasant. But it is a worthy investment.

M: If that’s what you want.

P: Yeah, choosing. Choosing whether to do it is vital and you don’t want to do it all the time, that’s for sure.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: That’s why I think this model is interesting, pursuing your strengths.

M: And again, you know, I think if that’s what you want. I think a lot of people don’t, I think a lot of people are really happy doing their specialty.

P: Yeah.

M: And they’ve found their niche and they’ve found their passion and so they can outsource the other stuff or they find other people to do the other things, or they decide they don’t want to leave “their world” so they don’t need to keep moving up.

P: Mmm.

M: They don’t need to stretch themselves in that way because they love what they do. And you can stretch yourselves outside of work.

P: True.

M: You could learn how to… do cooking classes –

P: Laugh.

M: – or do something completely random to stretch yourself in that way and keep that growth mindset.

P: Yeah.

M: So, the VIA survey of character strengths is free. Over 15 million people have taken it and is a fully scientific survey.

P: Oh, it must be right then, it’s scientific. Laugh.

M: Well Penn State’s a pretty big name to throw around isn’t it.

P: Laugh, yes.

M: And really the reason you want to understand your strengths, or your personality better is so that you can improve your well-being so that you can make sure that what you’re doing aligns to what your strengths are, and there is alignment in your purpose and meaning.

P: Well, that’s bringing together a couple of concepts.

M: Such as?

P: Well, we’re talking about purpose, we’re talking about well-being talking about personality strengths.

M: Yep.

P: So we’re kind of tying those up a little bit.

M: And even then, strengthening relationships as well. Knowing yourself is so important for living a happy life.

P: Yes, I’ll give you that, yeah definitely.

M: And when you know yourself, you can get to know others better as well.

P: Mmm.

M: I can’t remember any course or learning that I’ve done where I had an “Ah Ha” moment that I didn’t also then look to apply those “Ah Ha” moments to other people around me.

P: Laughter! Hey, I experienced this come over here!  

M: If I am this, and I do this. Like the Myers-Briggs, there are so many people who walk around… So I’m an INTJ [Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging], but it really helps me to look at other people and go ‘[frustrated sound] I can label you.’

P: Laugh!

M: I know we don’t get along because you’re a Blah, blah, blah.

P: Laugh. Is that a little like astrology?

M: Knowing other people?

P: You’re a Leo, we’re not supposed to get along.

M: Oh, oh yeah. Pretty much, going all the way back to how we’re wired.

P: Evolutionarily?

M: That’s the word I was looking for, human beings categorise. It’s our way of knowing good from bad and safe, from not safe and in and out.

P: Yep, essentially yes.

M: Right from the word go, babies recognise their family versus strangers, right?

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And, what’s safe and what’s not.

P: Yep.

M: So learning more about yourself. It’s natural that we then go label.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Which is not something that anyone should ever do.

P: Laugh. Come on… Just don’t express it.

M: Laugh.

P: It’s fine to do it, just don’t tell anyone.

M: Laugh. As long as you’ve got that self-awareness, go to town.

P: Laugh!

M: Just don’t tell anyone! And go walk through your family and go “[frustrated noises] Ahh!” Or whatever.

P: Laugh!

M: And this is why, actually, when I did the Myer-Briggs testing, I came home and I’m like ‘Francis, I finally know why we never agree on holidays!’

P: Laugh.

M: And it was really useful to have that conversation.

P: Ok.

M: So, when I’m on holidays, I want to see and explore and be inspired by stuff.

P: Yeah.

M: And Francis is just, [he] wants to do nothing.

P: Yeah,

M: Just having that realisation that we both have different expectations from holidays has meant that we can broker that difference better and make sure that we both get what we need out of holidays we take together.

P: Alright, yeah. Right, I mean I’ve never been one for taking personality tests or doing screening exams or anything like that. So, I know nothing about this, I just float along in my lovely little naive unknowing way, laugh.

M: Well, the website is really easy to find. It is viacharacter.org.

P: Ok.

M: And I last did this character strengths profile at the beginning of the 2020 just before covid.

P: Ah, right.

M: The other thing that’s really interesting to me is that we change over time as well.

P: Oh, ok. Is there like a ten-year, five-year, sort of timeframe?

M: Well, look if you suffered a traumatic event tomorrow, the person you are today would be different from the person you are tomorrow.

P: Yep.

M: You also could just hit a rut and not change it all for a very long time.

P: Mmm.

M: So, it’s very subjective, but people change over time. And so, your profile and your strengths profile.

P: Could change.

M: Could change as well over time. So, it’s www.viacharacter.org.

M: I’m happy to share, I guess.

P: Oooh, here we go. We get a little insight into Marie, laugh.

M: So, we’ll go my top five, which, in case you couldn’t tell, really paint me as a bit of an optimist.

P & M: Laughter!

M: My number one is honesty, and that comes from courage.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Number two is humour from transcendence.

P: Yeah.

M: Number three is hope again in the transcendence bucket. Number four is curiosity, which is in wisdom and creativity under wisdom. Number six was love of learning as well in wisdom.

P: Well, we know that as-well, yeah.

M: So, these strengths align up to… my top three there were transcendence, courage and wisdom. And so, wisdom is definitely a strong strength of mine because I had three on my top six there that were lined up to that one.

P: Oh, right. Oh, I see.

M: You do get a full report.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Again, you could pay thousands to go get people to do this kind of assessment for you.

P: Yes.

M: Myer-Briggs was something that I did previously through an organisation and that costs, you know, a decent chunk of money at times.

P: Yeah, right-o.

M: So, again, this is fully free. Which is, you know, why I’m really happy to talk about it.

P: Give it a bit of a plug.

M: Yeah. So, for me, for honesty, for instance, that’s about speaking the truth, but more broadly, presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way.

P: Mmm.

M: So being without pretence and taking responsibility of one’s feelings and actions.

P: Ooh, that’s a good one. Taking responsibility for your feelings. Some people are a little bit distant on that one.

M: I kind of feel… yeah.

P: It’s a big ask, I think. It’s a big, it’s a big topic if you’ve never really thought about it, it’s about really owning what you experience and, not necessarily to the detriment of others, really targeting essentials about yourself.

M: I think where this, really you know, where the rubber hits the road on this for me is when other people don’t live up to that expectation.

P: Yeah, yeah. Well, that’s obviously a value clash as well, especially if that’s you top one.

M: That’s my top one, yeah. When other people play politics or beat around the bush it just drives me batty.

P: Laugh.

M: So, my number two is humour. Humour and hope, two and three both transcendent. So, liking to laugh and tease bringing smiles to other people, seeing the light side and making not necessarily telling jokes.

P: Oh ok.

M: And then hope is about expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it and believing that a good future is something that can be brought about. And I have to say a lot of people look at the current outlook for our environment in our world and are just um… unfortunately beaten down.

P: Yeah.

M: And I, time and time again, think that we’ll sort our shit out.

P: I think you’ve got to have that fundamental want and desire in there. It’s one thing to throw your hands up and walk away from the issue, but to persist with it and to try and come up with small ways that you can contribute to a solution. Being a solution-based person.

M: Yeah.

P: Being a solver of questions as opposed to just asking more questions. I guess, yeah. That’s what I’m trying to say there, finding a solution.

M: I think also just having hope that a solution will be found.

P: Yes true, things like climate change, it’s a massive, huge, magnanimous beast of an issue.

M: Mmm hmm. So many different facets.

P: Exactly and I can’t, sitting here in my little house, in the middle of a town. I can’t imagine how one little thing that I do has an impact. Though, it has an impact for me and that’s really reassuring. So, when I make the decision to not drive the car and take the bicycle. I’m feeling good about myself in that way, and I can tick that little box for myself for the day.

M: Yep.

P: And that’s really reassuring. And don’t discount that as a personal investment.

M: Absolutely and then, just to give a bit more flavour for people of what they can expect. So, curiosity is about taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake. So, finding topics and subjects fascinating, exploring and discovering.

P: Oooh, hang out in a library.

M: Yeah, in anything. So, walking around a new city or a town, any exploring.

P: Mmm.

M: A new book, whether that’s fiction or non-fiction, it is just being interested in experiences for their own sake.

P: Hmm.

M: Creativity is thinking of novel and productive ways to conceptualise and do things, and that includes artistic achievement but isn’t limited to it.

P: Hmm.

M: And I’d say I’m not very artistic, but I would say I’m creative.

P: Yeah, it’s a nice difference to clock that one.

M: Mmm, it is. And then last one, love of learning for me, not last one it’s number six on a very long list. Love of learning, so, mastering new skills, topics and bodies of knowledge, which is really this journey we’re on right now is understanding positive psychology and happiness and how to live life.

P: Mmm.

M: And then it is also related to strength of curiosity but goes beyond it to describe the tendency to add systemically to what one knows.

P: That’s a big sentence, laugh.

M: Yes, and probably explains why I never have any time, and I’m always signing up for new courses.

P: Laugh, you are!

M: And taking more courses.

P: You finish one and you’re already signed up for the next one.

M & P: Laugh!

M: Now, there are a whole range, and I’ll just read some of the other things: fairness, perspective, social intelligence, leadership, gratitude, kindness, bravery, zest, judgement, forgiveness, teamwork, appreciation of beauty and excellence, self-regulation, love, spirituality, perseverance, humility and prudence.

P: Oooh.

M: Prudence is last on my list of 24.

P: Laugh!

M: Possibly explains why I got on that motorbike while I was overseas.

P & M: Laughter!

M: Being careful about one’s choices, not taking undue risks, not saying or doing things that might later be regretted.

P: Hmm.

M: Prudence is definitely not my forte.

P: Yeah, I’ll agree with you on that one. So, once you’ve got this big list as you said, you’ve taken the top six. What are the sort of things you can do with this tool? How do you move forward?

M: Well, the next step that you probably want to take and again go to the site, and it will give you a full understanding of not only our strengths but what to do next. But I should be looking for, well, again looking at how this impacts my relationships with the people around me.

P: Ok.

M: So, understanding.

P: Do you have to apply it to a certain element in your life?

M: Again, it’s not enough to just read a book.

P: Yeah.

M: You’ve got to apply it –

P: Yep.

M: – if you want to see change and growth and so understanding that honesty is my number one… so it would be great to do this with a partner or a best friend and to understand what your differences are and to have a conversation with those people around you.

P: Ooh.

M: So, as you mentioned, honesty is my number one. But Pete, it may not be yours, and you might find my openness confronting.

P: Yep.

M: It might make you feel vulnerable or attacked or like I’m expecting you to be just a as honest as well.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And it’s good for me to know that so that I could dial it back a little bit, as well when people aren’t the same.

P: And not matching you?

M: Yeah.

P: Ok.

M: And that also just helps to strengthen relationships. So, this would be a great thing to do with your significant other as well.

P: Mmm.

M: When you’re getting to know, getting to know someone.

P: Mmm. Maybe not bring it out on the first date.

M: Maybe not.

P: Laugh!

M: Sunday night, kind of you know, let’s sit down after dinner and you know both complete our things and then let’s have a chat about the results.

P: Oh, that could open up a big can of worms.

M: It definitely could.

P: Laughter.

M: If you’re ready for that, but it would strengthen your relationship as well.

P: Absolutely, yeah. That honesty. And again, that uncomfortable space creates growth.

M: And then the other thing for me is looking at my job, if I’m spending 40, 50, 60 hours a week.

P: Oh, yeah.

M: Does my job give me an opportunity to use my honesty, humour, hope, curiosity, creativity and love of learning?

P: Yeah, right. That’s a good one.

M: Or at least some things in my top ten. And I have to say I’m pretty lucky that my day job is definitely meeting all of those strengths of mine.

P: Hmm.

M: It’s giving me the opportunity to display those strengths.

P: Nice.

M: And all of the side gigs that I’ve got going on are pretty much… I don’t know, I feel like you could be a bit more humorous Pete.

P: Laugh!

M: Apart from that.

P: Is it about making jokes? Or doing jokes?

M: Laugh. Exactly.

P: Or being the butt of jokes?

M & P: Laugh!

M: You know, life’s pretty good, you know.

P: Yeah.

M: Against these strengths.

P: It’s a nice check in. It it’s a nice way to have a check in, and I think that my take away from it is that it’s another tool that you can use to check in and do a little bit of measuring.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: We were talking about that last week, having things to measure by and then maybe taking it again in three months’ time and seeing where you’re sitting, whether it’s consistent. I like the idea of measuring this against your, against your investments. So your job, you’re your second job if you have one, your passion, are they matching with your strengths?

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And if they’re not, maybe you need to reconsider those.

M: If they’re not, it might be holding you back in languishing and stopping you from flourishing.

P: Oh, what a nice way to round-off the episode.

M: Absolutely.

P: Laugh.

M: I hope you have a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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New Study Shows Vegans are Happier Than Meat-eaters

by

Are Vegans Truly Happier Than Meat-eaters? Science Says Yes!

A new study by Tracking Happiness shows a connections between happiness and veganism – revealing that vegans are happier than others.

Researchers surveyed 11,537 people from the United States and asked them “If you look back at the last year of your life, how would you rate your happiness on a scale from 1 to 10?” The average happiness rating of all respondents was 6.90.

They then asked respondents to tell them whether they were vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, or meat-eaters, and the results showed that vegans were the happiest at 7 percent higher happiness levels than meat-eaters, who scored the lowest average happiness rating.

“We’re not surprised by these findings at all. We know that the image of veganism is undergoing the most radical change in its history, while shedding some tired, old stereotypes. It’s no longer portrayed as an unusual lifestyle, it’s easy and accessible – you can walk into any supermarket and be greeted by a huge range of plant-based products or walk into any restaurant and be presented with an exciting vegan menu,” said Francine Jordan, spokesperson for the Vegan Society. “There has never been a better time to be vegan and it’s great to see that vegans are much happier too!”

Researchers also found that happier people also considered themselves more likely to turn vegan in the future. Out of the 8,988 meat-eaters in the survey, those who reported higher happiness ratings were more likely to adopt a 100 per cent plant-based diet in the future.

Here are the findings:

  • Vegans report higher happiness levels than meat-eaters (+7%).
  • Happier people are more likely to turn 100% vegan in the future.
  • Only 14% of our meat-eating respondents reported a negative bias towards vegans. Non-vegans aren’t nearly as opposed to veganism as the stereotypes suggest.
  • 32% of vegans & vegetarians state that their biggest driver is the environment.
  • Older people are less likely to ever adopt a vegan diet.
  • These observations – and many more – are covered in this in-depth analysis of our study.

Shifting Perceptions of Vegans

The study also looked at the shifting perceptions of society about vegans, finding that less than 15 per cent of people had a negative opinion of vegans and veganism in general. The average meat-eater in the survey thought positively about vegans (3.44 on a scale from 1 to 5).

This contradicts earlier research from a study titled ‘It ain’t easy eating greens‘ which found that only drug addicts face more hatred and prejudices than vegans. 

Carleigh Bodrug, Founder of Plant You, agrees with the new research, “The perception of vegans has definitely shifted to a more positive light in the last five years, in my experience,” she said.

“I personally believe this is because of education on the impact animal agriculture has on our precious earth, being one of the leading sources of greenhouse gas emissions and global warming. This, coupled with the introduction of more delicious plant-based products on the market, has made people more open to a discussion about reducing their animal product consumption.”

Read the full study results at Tracking Happiness.

 

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

From Languishing to Flourishing (E70)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about how to go from languishing to flourishing in our super busy, stressful and complicated world.

Show notes

During the podcast Pete talks about a segment he heard on Triple J by Dr. Karl Kruszelnicki.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: And we’re back.

P: Howdy, howdy, howdy!

M: Hi, hi!

P: Laugh. So, I’d like to start off the episode this week Marie with an acknowledgment of country.

M: Aww.

P: It’s reconciliation week this week in Australia, and for those of you who aren’t aware reconciliation week in Australia is about our shared history. Acknowledging our first Nations peoples, acknowledging the shared history that we have [and] addressing some of the issues that have come out of the acknowledgement that shared history in terms of the things that have happened and how we can move forward in a reconciliation format.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: If I could speak our native language, I’d do it but I’m not going to insult our first nations people by attempting that.

M: Laugh.

P: I was thinking about it in terms of a happiness scale, and this is one of those things that you can get involved with, which is going to bring more happiness and more joy into your life. This is an opportunity to go and do something and be involved in a community endeavour.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And we know, and we’ve talked about how volunteering your time and taking part in ethical actions can sometimes bring about good feelings. And those good feelings are sustainable. Going along to a local ceremony or going along to an event showing your support is one way of doing an ethical thing which is going to give you back tenfold in terms of what you put in.

M: Absolutely. And so I would like to pay my respects to elders past, present and emerging, and we live here in Sydney in the Eora nation. So, I did know that. Thank you for springing this on me!

P & M: Laughter.

M: But there are some great activities you can do, and the other thing we talked about is novelty and bringing novelty into your life.

P: Mmm.

M: We haven’t really explored our indigenous history. There are so many fabulous things you can do, particularly around Sydney here.

P: Mmm.

M: We did a wonderful tour through the rocks area and learned about how our ancestors ate and the fish and the ways that they communicated with other tribes that came through and to tell them what was poisonous and what was not.

P: Yep.

M: And learn about the plants and the agriculture and horticulture and all of that …culture.

P & M: Laugh!

M: Not my area of expertise, just throwing that out there!

P: Laugh.

M: Alright, and how they lived as well. And it was a fascinating walk-through modern-day Sydney with learning about past culture.

P: Mmm. There was a wonderful programme I heard this morning on JJJ which is a local youth National Broadcasting Channel, Radio Channel in Australia. Dr. Karl, who most people will know.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Karl Stefanovic.. not Stefanovic. What was his name?

M: Uh, I don’t know. Dr. Karl.

P: I can’t remember, laugh.

M: Does anyone even know their last name?

P: Laugh! Anyway they had a couple of First Nations People on the program this week and one of them was an astronomer who looks at the stars through an indigenous lens.

M: Aww, I love it.

P: And I though, oh that would be really cool, but unfortunately I had to go and do an exam.

M: Oh.

P: Listening to those sort of things or going and experiencing some of the fantastic performances and celebrations that are around and just choosing to be part of that.

M: Mmm.

P: It’s a good way to bring happiness and joy.

M: Absolutely, well thank you for bringing that up.

P: That’s alright, [Super excited voice] what are we talking about this week, Marie?

M: Laugh! We are talking about a really hot topic –

P: Oooh, I like a hot topic!

M: Yes, everyone’s talking about languishing,

P: Oh!

M: and what it is to languish.

P: Oh, I feel like I need to repose in a pool with a gin and tonic.

M: Mmm hmm.

M: So last year, or maybe the year before flourishing, flourishing and thriving were the buzzwords in positive psychology, particularly Arianna Huffington, launched her website Thrive and it’s all about living your best life.

P: Mmm. Now flourishing post covid or during covid we’re still in covid, let’s be honest and sorry for all you Melbourne people down there who are very much still in covid and in the lock down Flourishing is a word that’s come out in the last year to mean just kind of surviving, just living.

P: Oh, really!

M: Uh, not flourishing, languishing!

P: Oh, ok right. I was just gonna say [flourishing] has been dumbed down, laugh.

M: And really is reflected in the fact that in the past year, a lot of us have just been.

P: Existed.

M: You know, I am.

P: Yeah.

M: Yeah, exactly, exactly. So we’re talking about how to get from languishing to flourishing.

P: Flourishing! It just makes you want to sing “Laaaaaa.”

M: And I love that the study that we’re looking at today came from an Aussie!

P: Laugh! Oh, I’ve got to do this haven’t I?

M: You do and how do you pronounce Geraldine’s last name?

P: Geraldine Przybylko. She’s Polish by the look of it.

M: In Australia, yes.

P: So, Geraldine I hope I got that right.

M: Laugh. Ah, yep. It was too much for me, I say that with all the respect in the world.

P: Laugh.

M: Her and her colleagues have just published a new study in the journal of Positive Psychology, which suggests that happiness comes with practise, which we’ve said quite a few times on our show.

P: Yeah.

M: And that you’ve got to put work into being happy. So if you want to go from languishing to flourishing, you’ve got to put in the work.

P: Do the work people. It’s like wanting to play an instrument or be a good sports person and only reading the books or listening on the podcast not actually getting out practising.

P & M: Laughter!

M: And happiness is like that. You can’t just read a book about volleyball and not ever go into a gym and play.

P: Laugh.

M: And unfortunately, a lot of people are buying self-help books and are doing that reading and coming out all inspired, and they’re wondering why they’re not happy three week later.

P: Yeah.

M: So, this study is actually looking at what we need to do, to go from languishing to flourishing.

P: And they’re talking about the combination of two different aspects. One of positive psychology, but combined with lifestyle medicine.

M: Yes.

P: What is the lifestyle medicine Marie?

M: Things like eating well, getting enough sleep. All the things your doctor tells you to do.

P: Or your allied Health Professional?

M: Yes, and positive psychology adds in the positive affirmations.

P: The mental aspect of lifestyle medicine, would you say?

M: Yeah. Mental and emotional.

P: Hmm, ok.

M: Yeah. So, adding those two together in a 10 week program showed a 17% increase in happiness or moving from languishing to flourishing.

P: That’s higher than interest rates in the eighties!

M: Laugh, sure is.

P: Laugh.

M: And not only that, up to 12 weeks afterwards, people were still showing higher happiness levels.

P: So, it’s lasting change.

M: Yes.

P: Ah, ok.

M: It is 10 weeks will give you at least another 10 weeks after that of change.

P: Makes sense though, because in anything that you’re trying to do in terms of habit forming if you’re going to do 10 weeks, you’ve set the practise in motion and you’ve got the habit formed by 10 weeks.

M: Well, the interesting thing about this – I’d say yes, definitely – But they did 10 different things over 10 weeks.

P: Mmm.

M: So, they weren’t setting habits necessarily. So, they did 10 different things over 10 different weeks and combined all of those 10 things, added to people’s happiness or flourishing levels.

P: Oh! So how does one measure our flourishing level?

M: Well, why don’t you tell me?

P & M: Laugh.

P: Well, it’s funny because when I first read this, I went and put my cynic hat on.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: The flourishing scale… And the first thing that came into my mind was ‘how can you rate flourishing scale because it’s very subjective, like pain. My pain is different to your pain.’

M: They have a scale for pain too! And actually, Jo and Francis, when I was in hospital used to hold up the scale to me in the morning.

P: Laughter! But the nature of pain is very subjective, so in terms of comparing data, it’s very difficult.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, what they’ve done to maybe get past that subjective measure is they’ve created 10 different measures of flourishing, they start with:

Most days I feel a sense of accomplishment from what I do.

M: That’s engagement with your life.

P: Ok yep, next one is:

In the past week I felt calm and peaceful.

M: Again, that’s a measure of not feeling manic and like a lot of people do in today’s day and age.

P: Mmm hmm.

I love learning new things.

M: This would go along with the growth mindset, which has been proven to make people happier than people who don’t have growth mindset. Yep, love it.

P: Yeah.

I generally feel that what I do in my life is valuable and worthwhile.

M: Purpose, yep purpose we know that one.

P: Laugh.

Always optimistic about my future.

M: Always is a strong word, isn’t it?

P: Laugh, yeah. Well, I don’t know anyone who’s always [optimistic].

M: We’re reading these on a scale right? So perhaps for this one a 7 is good.

P: Yeah.

Taking all things together, how happy would you say you are?

There are people in my life who really care about me.

M & P: Social connection, laugh.

P: We know you love that one, Muz.

When things go wrong in my life it generally does not take me a long time to get back to normal.

P: Resilience!

M: This is resilience, Pete!

P: Laugh. Geez, I’m getting good at this, I only went over this today.

M: Look at us, we know what we’re talking about!

P & M: Laughter!

P: [gunshot noises] Pew, pew, pew!

M: That’s a bit of a surprise, research that we’ve actually talked about!

P: Laughter, ok last two:

In general, I feel very positive about myself.

P: Projection.

M: There’s something Aussie and cynical in me that’s like ‘stop being so arrogant!’

P & M: Laugh.

P: And the last one:

In the past week, I had a lot of energy.

M: [Lack of energy] Is an early sign for depression. Just feeling really lacklustre and not feeling like wanting to do anything.

P: It’s one of the markers for leading to different conditions.

M: Interesting.

P: So, asking yourself those questions is a really good way to measure your flourishing. And I guess you would collate the points score together and measure it out of 100 see where you’re sitting. So, if you are 66 okay, my flourishing level is above average, above 50.

M: I don’t think that you would compare it average. I think the key point there is subjective happiness like you said before happiness is subjective. So, you start at 66 which is neither good nor bad.

P: Ok, yep.

M: And after the end, have you gone up?

P: Oh, ok.

M: You know, is your level at 88?

P: Just like a remedial exercise program, laugh.

M: And after 10 weeks if you continue and do another 10 weeks of it do you get more gain?

P: Aahhh, that would be interesting. Or to do it spasmodically. Spasmodically?

M: Laugh.

P: Periodically, like throughout year at different points or a three-monthly exercise. We can re-visit our goals once a year, maybe we could revisit our flourishing level once a quarter, when do your tax return, laugh.

M: And you know what, they say you can’t prove what you don’t measure.

P: Mmm, I agree.

M: And I think it needs to be something that we’re more systemic, systematic and put more attention towards.

P: And this is a really, easy tool to do that. It’s a really easy way to come up with a measurement without going ‘Oh, where do I rate myself today?’ This is just answering questions off the cuff.

M: Yep, absolutely. So, let’s move to the activities because that’s really where it’s interesting, I think.

P: Ok.

M: What can you put in practise that is going to tangibly improve your happiness levels? And these 10 things, so one a week is what they did, they had a daily challenge and a weekly challenge.

P: Ok.

M: So every day there was something little. And then over the week they had a lot more, like bigger things, that they needed to do. So, week one – really, really easy, Speak positively.

P: Ahh, yeah, the inner voice. Change the inner voice.

M: Yes, and now the first one, if you’re not someone who likes to look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful, wonderful, smart, and intelligent –

P: Laugh.

M: – this might make you breathe a sigh of relief; It is offering a genuine compliment. So once a day for a week offer a genuine compliment to someone else.

P: That’s pretty easy to do, yeah.

M: It is, as long as you focus on doing it, you remember to do it.

P: Yeah.

M: Put it in the diary, put a reminder in your phone, whatever it is and then make sure that you do it. And then the weekly challenge was memorize an inspirational text or saying.

P: I love that.

M: Absolutely and I love that, because when was the last time you actually sat down and memorised text?

P: All the time, laugh!

M: Memorized?

P: Yeah.

M: So, you can quote it back later?

P: Yeah.

M: I’m so 21st century brain, I consume so much and retain and remember so little, laugh.

P: Yeah, right-o ok.

M: To be really honest.

P: That’s possibly something I have done a lot of through my positive psychology training, remembering things that I can pull out of a hat or let inspire you.  

M: It’s about mindfulness in a way. It’s really connecting deeply with something in the moment that’s, that’s beautiful and ironic that I don’t do it more often, laugh.

P: It was also part of my blog, I used to always end with a quote.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, I had that in there, that I had a weekly task of finding a quote. You do that.

M: I have a quote for my weekly newsletter, do I remember them?

P & M: No, laugh!

M: I love them in the moment.

P & M: Laugh.

M: But I don’t commit them to memory because it’s about going that next step.

P: Yep.

M: So, that was week one. Week two, this one’s for you, Pete.

P: Oh.

M: Move dynamically.

P: Woo hoo! Dance, dance, dance.

M: Yes.

P: Dance naked around the kitchen! It’s really fun! Just do it when your flatmate’s not coming home from volleyball.

M: Laugh, sorry Charlie.

P: Laugh!

M: So, for one week only, you’re going to really commit to some exercise. So, they say 30 minutes of moderate exercise or 10,000 steps.

P: Yeah.

M: Yeah, we do that every single day for one week. And then the weekly challenge is really quite easy. So on one of those days, do 20 minutes of guided resistance exercise, that’s like weights.

P: Yeah, Thera-bands, body-weight work, some gymnastics, handstands!

M: All right. Week three – Immerse in an uplifting natural environment.

P: Aahhh, forest bathing!

M: Get out into nature.

P: Forest bathing, it’s a thing.

M: 30 minutes a day. Essentially, what they’re asking is for 10 weeks, put 30 minutes aside to be happier.

P: Yes.

M: So 30 minutes a day, you know, out near a lake, the beach, the mountains.

P: Find a local park, there’s so many of them around in Sydney.

M: Yep or go to the beach. And then the weekly challenges to experience a sunrise.

P: Oooh, that’s a hard one.

M: It sure is.

P: Laugh! Mind you I’ve been getting up really early.

M: Eeuggh, sunrise early?

P: Yeah.

M: It’s the middle of winter.

P: Yeah, I know, it’s not hard ‘cause it’s later, laugh.

M: …Okay, all right. Week four – Immerse in a positive social environment.

P: Mmm.

M: So daily, do something intentional, to show you care.

P: Ok.

M: And weekly, this one’s a good one, forgive someone who’s hurt you.

P: Oh, that’s opening up a can of worms.

M: Yeah, and we’ve spoken about forgiveness before. Forgiveness is not about that person.

P: Mmm.

M: It’s about you letting go of things and your anger.

P: Yeah, and it’s not about you saying ‘I forgive you.’ It’s just the action and you don’t have to express it.

M: Yep.

P: I think that’s what people fear, ‘I simply can’t do it!’

M: No, no, no, you never have to talk to them again.

P: Yeah.

M: And you don’t have to approve of their behaviour, or anything like that. It’s about you.

P: Yeah.

M: Alright, week five – Look to the positive. So spend 15 minutes reflecting on three things that went well everyday.

P: Oooh.

M: That’s gratitude.

P: Yep.

M: We talked about that before and then weekly, write a letter of gratitude to someone and share it with them.

P: Aww.

M: Again, we’ve spoken about the power of that well.

P: Yep.

M: Week six – Eat nutritiously.

P: Yeah, we know this works.

M: Oh, this is my downfall.

P: Gasp!

M: Laugh! Eat eight servings of plant based food a day.

P: Yes.

M: it’s really… You’re not going to be hungry.

P: No.

M: Eight servings of plant-based food, unless your choosing lettuce each time.

P: Laugh, even lettuce will fill you up.

M: Absolutely. You know you can definitely feel full off that.

P: Yep.

M: And then the weekly challenge is to prepare a high fibre, plant based meal with one or more friends.

P: Yes!

M: Make it social.

P: Sook socially, it’s good fun.

M: It’s very, the weekly challenge is very 21st century, isn’t it?

P: Mmm.

M: Plant based, that wasn’t even a thing 20 years ago.

P: Yeah, definitely.

M: So, we’re definitely not only doing what’s better for our bodies, but being environmentally conscious about it.

P: Laugh.

M: Okay, Week seven – Rest – sleep.

P: Sleep, sleep more! So, many studies done about this.

M: Yes.

P: And it always comes up. If we don’t rest, we don’t regenerate.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And one hour sleep deprivation is enough to downgrade your immune system by 50%.

M: Look at you and your course knowledge.

P: Laugh.

M: Or stats, that you remember.

P: Laugh.

M: So, this is about committing to spending eight hours in bed without a device.

P: Mmm.

M: It doesn’t count if you’re watching cat videos.

P: The better way is to plug it into a wall socket away from you bed.

M: Yep.

P: Put it in another room and make your room device free.

M: Or go to bed early, and so I read on my device, I know it’s not good, and then I’ll put it away, but I’m very good at getting my eight hours of sleep. I’m a cranky –

P: Laugh!

M: – person if I don’t. And then the weekly challenge to add to that was to spend an evening by firelight.

P: Oh, oh, candle-light, does that work?

M: Yes.

P: Alright, that’s easy.

M: Alright, week eight, I’m loving seven and eight, these are right up my alley. Week eight is –

Rest – from stress.

P: Oh.

M: So your daily challenges is to spend 15 minutes in a quiet place, relaxing and being mindful of your surroundings.

P: Ah, a bit of meditation time.

M: Yes.

P: Go, sit under a tree, hear the birdies tweeting. Sit in church, go and sit in a church, you don’t have to pray. Churches are great for that, they’re wonderful places –

M: They’re really beautiful.  

P: – and they’re quite, great to sit in and be awed and inspired.

M: Yep. And then the weekly challenge for that one is to take a day off work and have a digital Sabbath.

P: Mmm.

M: So, so offline for 24 hours to recharge.

P: Yeah, escape.

M: So, I guess if you can, you know, go camping or find somewhere just quiet and away from all your stresses and be quiet for a day.

P: Mmm, mmm.

M: All right, keep going. Number nine is – Serving others. So, your daily challenge is to perform a random act of kindness.

P: Laughter! Done.

M: Mmm hmm. And your weekly challenge is to use your signature strength to perform an act of service, so I don’t think we’ve actually covered signature strengths yet.

P: Not yet.

M: But the VIA [Values In Action] signature strength test [The VIA Character Strengths Survey], so, that’s from Penn University in the States, it’s a really good way to just understand yourself better.

P: Hmm.

M: And the thinking used to be in the corporate world in the nineties and early two thousand’s that you wanted to understand your strengths and weaknesses and work on your weaknesses so that you were a well-rounded human-being.

P: Yeah, yeah,

M: The thinking nowadays is screw that –

P: Laugh.

M: if you’re not good at it don’t bother!

P: Laughter!

M: Unless it’s really holding you back.

P: Yeah.

M: And to really focus in on what your strengths are and double down on that.

P: Oh, ok.

M: If that’s what you’re good at, go do that!

P: Yeah.

M: And make sure that that’s part of your job.

P: Well, that taps into purpose as-well doesn’t it? And that concept of Ikigai, where you’re doing something you’re passionate about that you’re good at.

M: Passionate about, yeah. Because we’re normally not passionate about stuff that we don’t… that we’re not good at.

P: Mmm. Yeah, no, true.

M: So this is, again VIA strengths assessment, and you can go do that for free online and just get a better understanding what your strengths are.

P: Mmm.

M: And last one, week 10, the question is – What does it take to flourish? So your daily challenge is continue the challenges that you found to be helpful.

P: Ok.

M: And your weekly challenge is to continue the challenges that you found to be helpful.

P: Laughter!

M: It’s a bit of a cheat week, isn’t it? Laugh.

P: Yeah, it’s a week off. Laugh, ah we’ll give you a break!

M: So, I guess before we wrap up. The whole point of talking about this in today’s episode is to say that we talk about so many of these things every week, don’t we?

P: Mmm, yeah.

M: But just like exercising or learning an instrument, we can’t just talk about it and we can’t just listen to a podcast.

P: Mmm.

M: You’ve actually got to put this stuff into the practise.

P: Yep.

M: And if you do, this latest study here shows that you can improve your happiness or move away from languishing and more towards flourishing and loving life by up to 17%.

P: Yep, that’s a decent figure.

M: Sure is. Who wouldn’t want to be 17 percent happier?

P: Definitely.

M: I think Dan Harris, wrote a book 10% Happier.

So, this is like kicking you ass down, laugh.

P: Hey, we’re one up! Laugh! Throw that challenge glove down!

M & P: Laugh!

M: Absolutely, well on that note we’ll end for the week.

P: Enjoy your tasks people.

M: Wishing you a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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Fun Isn’t Only for Children – Here’s How to Make Your Life More Fun!

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This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is pexels-adrienn-1524105.jpg

What’s the Link Between Your Mental Health and Fun?

Who wouldn’t want more fun in their lives? As I write this, I am definitely on board in theory, yet I can’t remember the last time I specifically set aside time or put in effort to bring more fun into my life. That’s about to change!

I know, I know, this site is called Happiness for Cynics, so you’re maybe not quite on board yet. But as always, there’s great research that backs up the benefits of having fun in your life, like this study from the Martin Luther University in Germany, in which 533 participants did a week of exercises to boost participants’ playfulness. They found that you can actually stimulate and train people to be more playful, and this, in turn improves their mood and happiness levels.

So, what have you got to lose? Read on to explore how to have more fun in life and why it is so important to your happiness levels.

The Benefits of Having More Fun in Your Life

being silly

To find out more about the benefits of having fun, I spoke to Dr. Mike Rucker – a charter member of the International Positive Psychology Association (IPPA) and a member of the American Psychological Association – about having fun and improving people’s overall wellbeing.

According to Rucker, there are times when things are really bad, and you can understand why people wouldn’t be focussing on incorporating fun into their lives at that point. But there are also too many moments when things are kinda OK, yet we’re all just on the hedonic treadmill… just living life, getting on with getting on… but many of us as still not incorporating fun into our lives then either!

Yet we all have the power to increase our happiness levels, and according to Rucker, a great way to do that is to have some more fun.

One of the narratives that I like to talk about is productivity porn or hustle porn. We get caught up in this notion that we have to devote our lives to work and that should be our purpose. And we’re just not wired for that. Mike Rucker

In fact, Rucker says, “There’s a recent study that shows the more spontaneous we are, the more that we kind of look for the spices of life, that can lead to happiness.”

He also mentions that having deliberate fun allows people to circumvent the Hedonic treadmill if you do it mindfully. “A lot of things that we pursue are based on keeping up with the Joneses and things that we think are fun. But when we take a more mindful approach to it, fun, pure elation and really enjoying something, that is true to your soul, it ads gains to our life,” he says.

Rucker also warns about the trap of thinking you’re doing something for fun, that isn’t actually fun. “Often times what people think is leisure, like binge watching a show that they don’t really care about, can be replaced with something more meaningful. I want to be careful there, too, because it certainly is meaningful if (…) it’s something that you really enjoy,” he says. “A good litmus test for that is any sort of activity that if you went back to savour or relish it, would you remember what it was about. A lot of times if people are being honest with themselves, social media viewing or TV doesn’t fit in that category.”

So what’s the solution? It’s often as simple as taking a look at the existing acititives in your diary and thinking of them in news ways. For instance, are you being mindful and truly engaging with your kids when you take them to the park, or are you on your phone or planning the dinner menu?

Listen to my interview with Dr Mike Rucker.

How to Have More Fun in Life

having fun

It is easier to bring play into your life than you might realise. Let’s be really honest, we all know how to have more fun. It’s something we all grew up knowing as kids… we might have just forgotten to do it or devalued it over time. If that applies to you and it’s time to change that, but you’re stuck on how to get started, here’s how.

Just Google it. You can simply start with Google to find a lot of different ways to bring more play into life, but if you’re still wanting something more prescriptive, one of the ideas I love the most is a dance-off.

Have a dance-off. This is a great one to do with your family. Think back to the 60s, 70s, 80s etc, there have been some classic dances throughout the decades. All you need to do is name some different types of dances, and put them down on a piece of paper, pop them into a hat, and you have to do the dance and your friends and family have to guess what decade it’s from, or if you want to make it harder, ask them to name the dance. It’s really simple. Pretty soon you’ll have the whole family jiving and doing Gangnam style and the Macarena, and not only are you having a bit of fun, but you’re also doing a bit of exercise.

Other ideas. Other ways to look for more fun in life include finding opportunities for laughter (try board games or maybe sign up to a local laughter yoga workshop) and finding opportunities for novelty and being spontaneous (day trips and holidays are good prompts for novelty and can bring out our more playful side). If you’re still not sure how to get going, then check out this article by Dr Stephanie Sarkis on what might be holding you back.

And one final sense check… remember that what you might find fun might not be fun to someone else. When designing fun activities, make sure you ask the people involved what they want to do and what would interest them!

Want to learn more about how to have fun in life? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources!

Random Acts of Kindness (E69)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about random acts of kindness, how they will make you happier, and challenge you to get involved.

Show notes

During the podcast Marie and Pete briefly discuss racism and Pete mentions that they will come back to the discussion later. Unfortunately they ran out of time this episode and will hopefully discuss this topic at another time. Please feel free to suggest podcast topics, post a question or even just leave a comment at www.marieskelton.com

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: And we’re back.

P: We’re back. Fun fact –

M: That we’re back?

P: No, no. I’ve got a fun fact for you.

M: Laugh! Ok, yes. What’s your fun fact?

P: Laughter lowers cortisol.

M: Stress hormone.

P: Yes.

M: Ohhh.

P: It came up in a lecture of mine this week. Laughter lowers cortisol and I’m like ‘oh! I know this!’ Laughter!

M: Should we do some laughter yoga now?

P: Exactly, laugh.

M: Though, I don’t know if you need it, you’re already laughing.

P: But, I thought it was really interesting that, you know, this came out a lecture. Laughter actually lowers your stress hormone. So, if you’re having a bad week, the best thing that you can do for immediate effect is to go out and get a laugh.

M: Yep.

P: However, that happens if it’s going out and doing something silly, like walking around the house naked or if it’s going to a comedy show, watching your favourite movie.

M: Or having a laugh in the mirror for 60 seconds like we practised the other week.

P: Oh yeah.

M: It’s so easy, so, so easy and I’ve been doing in the mornings –

P: Laugh.

M: – and it’s just so mind blowing to me that such a simple 60 second thing can make such an impact.

P: It makes such a difference and I think that it’s worth investing in. So, get out there and laugh people!

M: Laugh.

P: Enjoy.

M: So, I went through our stats on our [podcast].

P: Ooh!

M: Guess which episode is the most popular?

P: Snigger, oh ooh… Laugh, I don’t want to guess this!

M: Laugh! It’s the only explicit one that we’ve had.

P: Oh! Oh, the swearing!

M: The swearing!

P & M: Laughter!

P: You people are wrong! So wrong! Really? Swearing got a lot of hits?

M: Absolutely.

P: That’s funny.

M: Can Swearing Make You Happier. I think people are trying to justify their swearing, laugh!

P: I love it. So, someone actually asked me the other day when I was talking about the podcast, and they said ‘Oh, you do a podcast?’

And I was like ‘Yeah, yeah.’

‘Which episode should I listen to first?’

And I was like ‘…I’m really not sure.’

M: Laugh.

P: If you listen to the first episode, you get really bored, laugh.

M: Mmm.

P: But if you listen to the last episode, you go ‘these guys are crazy!’

M: Probably, I’d go from last to first.

P: Well, I actually said, our episode on self-care, Self-Care is Church for Non-Believers.

M: Aww.

P: I thought that was a good starting point.

M: Yeah, yep, yep, I think so. We finally relaxed at that point.

P: I said this, I said that if you listen to the first episode, we’re going to be very formal.

M: We might need to go re-record that one.

P: Well, actually, we would love to hear from our listeners and ask, What’s your favourite episode thus far? Let us know?

M: Yes.

P: Because sitting here on the bed as we do.

M & P: Laugh.

P: Sometimes we’re not clued in as to what the formula is and what works. But if there’s an episode that you’ve really enjoyed, we would love to hear from you and here what that episode got for you.

M: Yep. All right, we’re moving on to today’s episode,

P: Which is…

M: Random Acts of Kindness.

P: Aww!

M: Now we’ve spoken about kindness before.

P: Lots.

M: Yes. So, I’m going to skim over the science, which is that kindness works, be kind, right?

P: Laugh. Do it people, do it.

M: That is the science, laugh.

P: Yep.

M: And today we wanted to just go through all of the fabulous things that you could do and put a challenge out there.

P: Oooh!

M: Now, you’re busy, I’m busy, but we’re going to pick one each and report back next week.

P: We are?

M: That is the deal, yes.

P: You’re giving me homework!

M: We’re giving everyone homework.

P: I haven’t finished my PHS [Population, Health & Society] essay yet and it’s driving me crazy! I can’t.

M: This is more homework.

P & M: Laughter.

M: And the great thing about this, just like the laughter yoga for 60 seconds or the gratitude journaling, it’s a 60 second activity.

P: Oh, alright… I’m in.

M: But you can’t bail on this.

P: [Reluctantly] I’m in.

M: So, what we’re talking about is finding a way to be kind to others.

P: Awe… It’s a Cinderella moment.

M: It’s so simple. And I’m going to quote Amelia Earhart here.

P: Oooh.

M: Who said, “A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

P: That’s so true.

M: Well, just like with laughter, which we said was contagious and has been shown to be contagious. Kindness is the same thing, and couldn’t we all use just that little bit more kindness in the world?

P: It’s the pay it forward principle.

M: Yes!

P: You know, taking something and pushing it forward to someone else. When you get a gift, pass it on.

M: And not because you should, but because it will make you feel good about yourself.

P: The science says so, laugh.

M: The science says, absolutely.

P: Listen to me? What have you done to me Marie?

M: Laugh. You know, you’re not scientific if you just say ‘the science says!’

P: Laugh!

M: So you can go back and listen to some of our previous episodes if you would like the science because it does exist.

P: Laugh.

M: It’s not just us saying the ‘science says so.’

P: It’s there somewhere, I don’t know, I just blast over that stuff.

M: Laugh.

P: Marie’s the one on the science, laugh.

M: Well, it is there definitely. But today we wanted to talk about random acts of kindness specifically and give everyone some ideas and maybe give ourselves some ideas for what we’re going to do in this upcoming week.

P: Mmm, OK. So how often would you have a random act of kindness in a week?

M: I think it’s a mindset.

P: Hmm.

M: I think that no one ever was hurt by giving too much kindness to others. And I think that lives could be saved by small acts of kindness being received.

P: Do you think we’ve lost the ability to be kind to each other in the current contemporary society? Ooh, that’s a deep question.

M: I don’t think that society prioritises [kindness] enough. It’s seen as a weakness just like happiness. So Shawn Achor’s book, it’s a great book about happiness at work, shows that what we thought about success is actually the opposite. So, you don’t – there we go, The Happiness Advantage.

M: Successful people aren’t happier, happy people are more successful.

P: Mmm.

M: And I think with kindness, it’s similar and the research shows that as well. Being kind to others is seen as a weakness, but people who mentor others and care for others make better leaders and generally do better. So if you bring people along with you rather than tearing them down in the work environment or a team environment, you’ll succeed more.

P: Yeah.

M: So, I think there’s a lot of misconceptions around kindness, and we maybe need to correct some of those.

P: Misconceptions in what way? Who doesn’t want to be kind?

M: I think that you can get very jaded with this very busy life that we live, and it becomes…

P: An effort to be kind?

M: No, not a priority.

P: Interesting.

M: We’ve become quite selfish, particularly in corporates which are quite cut throat at times.

P: Yep. Well, competitiveness breeds cutthroat.

M: Exactly. And the irony is that the more competitive you are, the more kind you should be. You shouldn’t be cutting kindness off your list of things to do in a day or a week. You should be adding it deliberately and scheduling it in.

P: Mmm.

M: That is my challenge.

P: I think this scheduling it is quite difficult because it is very easy to put on your blinkers. And we had this in an episode a couple of weeks ago, we talked about the taxi driver and the woman getting in, and she was exhausted and she was just over her day and she just wanted to get home. But she chose to engage with the taxi driver. Now, is that an act of kindness?

M: Mmm… That’s not being a dick.

P: Laugh! Well okay, yeah there is that as well, it is coming down to being a dick not being a dick.

M: Yep.

P: Choosing, choosing to actually engage with people and also see people for who they are.

M: It’s stopping to say ‘how are you?’ when a cashier says ‘Hi, how are you?’

P: Yeah, well you had an episode recently when you were on a call centre and you spoke to a lady in India.

M: Yes. So, you know, again, I was on a call trying to get my banking sorted or something. And I have to say those call centres and the rigmarole you go through just to click all the numbers and get to where you want to go –

P: Yeah.

M: – and you’re on hold.

P: Definitely.

M: It sets you up to be in a bad mood, by the time you actually talk to someone.

P: You do because you’re frustrated, because you’re sitting there for 25 minutes going ‘I could be doing so much more with my time!’

M: Absolutely, and lady got on the phone and she was efficient and good at what she did. And I could hear the accent. And I said to her, I hear an accent where you from? And I could hear the hesitation in her voice actually, because I’m sure based on that one question, I could go either way.

P: Mmm, she’s scared. Yeah, exactly.

M: Right, [some] people are racist.

P: That’s a point to come back to later in the episode, I think. Is that questioning of like, ‘do I let myself be exposed here?’

M: Yep. So, she said she was in Mumbai, and I said, ‘I am just so sorry for what is happening in your country right now. I am so blessed that we’re in Australia and that we have no cases, at the moment here, and I can’t even imagine how hard that would be for you right now.’

P: Mmm.

M: And you could hear the relief in her voice just from that one acknowledgement –

P: That one comment, yeah.

M: – that other people are doing it tough and, you know I felt bad.

P: Mmm.

M: So look, I’m not trying to put myself up on a pedestal because I behave like a dick too.

P & M: Laughter!

M: Being honest. We’re all human.

P: But it’s having the presence of mind to acknowledge a human when you’re engaging with them, because I think in society in general we’ve become so used to not engaging as humans, and we lost that ability to recognise that this is a person on the other end of the line.

M: Yeah, a lot of the time, it is simply about remembering to say thank you for something meaningful to people you interact with every day. So next time you talk to your boss, next time you talk to a colleague, what can you add into that conversation that’s going to make them feel happy and put a smile on their face?

P: Mmm, yep. I agree.

M: So simple. Less than 60 seconds, Pete.

P: Laugh!

M: To be kind!

P: Laugh.

M: Help someone else to feel good about their day and to bring joy to their day.

P: Which brings joy to your life. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. It brings you back so much more than what you give out. It’s five seconds of your moment, but it brings you back so much more goodness, in terms of all the all those lovely things that we like to exhibit with neurotransmitters.

M: The first way to be kind or random act of kindness that I think most people can do is to have a look through your house for what you could recycle or up-cycle and pop it on gum tree. Or give it to Vinnies or whatever charity organisation is in your area, for free.

P: I actually have had experiences with that with gum tree. I was selling a very old set of stereo speakers that my Mother gave to me.

M: Aww.

P: Which was, you know, there is old as I am. I remember Mum getting them, they were huge.

M: Were you 21?

P: [Indistinct noises] … I’ll come back to that one.

M: Laugh.

P: But this lovely bloke came around to pick them up and he was super keen. And when you sell something on gum tree, it’s a free for all, you know, you getting these random messages from people going ‘I love you, I love your family, I just want to buy your product.’

M & P: Laugh.

P: It’s like if you could bottle that you’d be a rich person. So, this guy turned up in his little is little Suzuki 121? or whatever it was and he got these massive speakers in there. And then he said ‘oh, you know, I was wondering if you could sell them for $5 cheaper?’ And I went ‘You know what dude, have-em, take-em, I don’t care. Just take em. And he was like ‘Oh, really?’ ‘Yeah, sure. Off you go, enjoy!’ Laugh.

M: And that would have made his day.

P: Exactly, and it was the reaction of his surprise that made me feel really good and so that fuelled me for a couple of days.

M: Yep, absolutely. And that is something that nearly every person can go do whether it’s clothes that don’t fit you anymore, items in the kitchen that you just don’t use, we’ve all got them.

P: Yeah, oh yeah! A George Foreman Grill, laugh.

M: Absolutely. A really, really easy way to, just make someone’s life that little bit easier. Or if you’re going to sell it on gum tree or Facebook marketplace or whatever, give away for free and you’re really going to help someone out. That’s my number one and I can say tick for the week because we did that this morning with our old washing machine.

P: Yay.

M: But I’m going to add more on for us this week.

P: OK, I’m going to throw in here. The one for me is to give to a homeless person.

M: Yes.

P: It’s so easy to walk past someone on the street and even easier now in the day of the non-cash society that we are –

M: Yes.

P: – where everything is done by card. To actually have some cash in your wallet and to give someone not just one or two dollars but to give them $10.

M: If you can afford $10 a quarter or a month, you know.

P: Yeah.

M: Put that aside as something that you’re going to give with no strings attached.

P: Yep.

M: No expectations.

P: It’s an honest, generous giving notion and when it happens spontaneously, I reckon the happiness level that you get from that is five-fold.

M: Absolutely.

P: It’s such a gorgeous gift to go ‘here, have this’ and to see the person’s reaction. It’s like giving presents at Christmas. It’s one thing to send something to someone. It’s another thing to watch them open it and watch the joy and the excitement that, for me, is really precious. And I think that when you actually do that, when you surprise someone by saying ‘I’m not going to give you a coin, I’m going to give you a note.’

M: Yep.

P: And I want you to take this and buy something nice for yourself.

M: Absolutely. We took a lady in the shop next to where she was asking for money and got her a sandwich and we asked,

‘Do you want it toasted?’

‘That would be great’, because it was a bit chilly and

‘Do you want to drink with that?’ and she was like,

‘Could I?’

P: Oh, wow.

M: And I said ‘Do you want dessert?’ Laugh, and just the look on her face. Like, if I couldn’t, couldn’t buy lunch, that would just, yeah I can’t imagine.

P: I think we can get a bit cynical about it as well in contemporary society, we think these people aren’t really poor. They’re not really homeless. They’re just pretending.

M: Or, you know, they brought it on themselves –

P: Oooh!

M: Or what have they done? They could get a job if they wanted to.

P: Yeah, yeah.

M: There’s so much judgement that can so easily creep into your heart.

P: And that’s the cynic, which is why we did this podcast.

M: Absolutely.

P: It’s drop that cynicism, actually see the person for who they are.

M: You don’t even have to, you can just give the 10 bucks and walk on and feel better.

P: True. Yeah, yeah ok.

M: Laugh. If that makes you uncomfortable.

P: See, I like the being uncomfortable.

M: Yep.

P: I think if it’s uncomfortable, it’s challenging. And there’s something… Nothing great comes from being comfortable. I’ve said this a lot in the last few months, that has been a really interesting one for me. No great achievement comes from being in a comfortable space.

M: Yep.

P: You need to challenge yourself. You need to push yourself to be better and that comes in being generous and being kind. You need to push yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone. So the next time the guy comes to your windscreen, to wash your windscreen. Think about that. It’s really easy to dismiss them and go ‘I haven’t got any change in my car anymore, I’m cash-less.’

M: Mmm hmm.

P: What else could you offer? What else could you provide?

M: If strangers are not your cup of tea. There are so many other ways that you can help-out people who are closer in your circle as well, like your neighbours.

P: Oh.

M: We often, don’t speak to our neighbours. I honestly, I’m not throwing rocks because I have no idea who my neighbours are.

P: Laugh.

M: I live in apartment block, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen most of them, we just don’t cross paths ever.

P: Yeah. It’s a very dense city experience.

M: Yes, absolutely. So, things like taking their garbage bins out. Or if you’ve got elderly neighbours and you’re mowing your lawn, you know, helping them out with theirs.

P: Mmm.

M: Things like that can make a really big difference to someone.

P: I’m going to give a shout out here, so I often refer to my Mum in a very negative light sometimes.

M: It’s family, if I ever said anything bad about your Mother, you’d deck me.

P: Laugh! I rip on her a bit. So here we go, my Mum, my Mum, is difficult to love, don’t get me wrong, she’s a hard nut. But there was a lady across the road and she was impaired, physically impaired with illness and Mum used to go out, go across the road, go to the woodpile and bring the wood to the back door –

M: Aww.

P: – so that she didn’t have to go down the stairs to get to the wood. And that sparked off a friendship that sparked off a relationship. And then it turned to Mum, getting the mail, bringing her groceries. All this sort of stuff that Mum just did out of the goodness of kindness. It was like ‘she can’t do it, so I’m going to help her out.’ And when this lovely lady passed away, Mum was like ‘oh’, Mum rang me and she said, ‘I lost my mate today.’ And whenever Mum says that to me, it’s a very poignant moment because, as I said, Mum’s a bit difficult to love sometimes.

M: Giggle.

P: But there’s this lovely generosity in there and when Mum decides to support you, you get supported.

And she said ‘Oh, I lost my mate today.’

And I said, ‘Oh Mum, I’m so sorry.’

And she goes, ‘Yeah, yeah, it was really tough, she got wheeled away and that was the last time that I saw her.’

Three months later, a brand-new television arrived on Mum’s doorstep. The daughters of this lady said, ‘you looked after our Nan – sorry the Grand-daughters – you looked after Nan in her final years and this was something that we bought for her, but we never got to give to her, so we thought you might like it.’

M: Aww. A random act of kindness.

P: Yeah, a random act of kindness and every time that Mum turns on the television to watch the footy, she thinks of her mate. That’s soul fulfilling.

M: Aww, what a lovely story!

P: It’s a brilliant story. You can have that much impact on someone’s life from a random act of kindness.

M: Absolutely, and you don’t even have to go to that length, you don’t even have to give money. You can do something as simple as learning the security guard’s name.

P: Yes.

M: Hi Bob, as you walk in the door.

P: Yep, makes a huge difference.

M: Absolutely, or the receptionist or people that work in your area there are a huge list of things that you can do on a fabulous website called…

P: Random Acts of Kindness

M: dot com!

P: Laugh.

M: It’ll be tough to remember that one, I’m sure.

And they have a lovely calendar, and what I love about their calendar is that they have so many ideas, things like leaving notes for people to find with beautiful messages.

P: Oh! I remember someone doing that for me not looking anywhere but right to my side for my 37th birthday.

M: Laugh, aww. Yep.

P: I still find them, laugh.

M: Or become a blood donor.

P: Yep.

M: That’s not going to cost you anything. Plus, they have really good snacks.

P & M: Laugh.

M: And they’re normally really lovely. So, there’s so many things. They’re all on this site, and in particular they’ve got a kindness calendar so you can kind of theme it. There’s things you can do with your family or your friends, and you’ll never be short of ideas for random acts of kindness.

P: Is that the challenge to this week, Marie? Are we all supposed to go in the calendar and find one act?

M: Absolutely.

P: Is that what we’re doing?

M: I think that is the challenge. Find and do?

P: Alright. So, we’ve got to action it. All right.

M: And as I said, it could be simple and free. Praise someone publicly for their work.

P: Oh, yeah.

M: Something that they’ve done. Go check out the Random Acts of Kindness dot com website, there are some great ideas on the site. Or just look for their calendar and scroll through. There are so many good ideas and they will make you feel better as well.

P: Mmm.

M: And if you really like this idea about spreading kindness and the site is all dedicated to spreading kindness throughout the world and making the world a kinder place, if you buy into that, then schedule it in, first of every month, do something that brings kindness because, as we know, if you don’t schedule it and prioritise that, you forget it, no matter how good it makes you feel, you’ll do it once and never again.

P: Yeah, the other way of doing that is to pop it on the fridge.

M: Yep. Although, I forget things [on the fridge], like I’ve got these gorgeous things that I’ve had in my fridge, and I never remember to look at them.

P: Laugh. Well, maybe put it on your mirror in the bathroom, something to remind you that you did a good thing.

M: Yep.

P: And acknowledge yourself for it because I think that’s actually the beauty of it is when you acknowledge it yourself.

M: Yep.

P: I think that’s where the magical lies.

M: Well actually, there’s some stuff in this calendar about being kind to yourself as well.

P: Oooh, that’s another episode.

M: All right, well, on that note, we should wrap up then, so be kind.

P: Ohhhh. It’s a Cinderella moment.

M: Laugh, until next week.

P: You didn’t do your cut off.

M: What cut off?

P: You didn’t do your cut off. What was the cut off? Not ‘be happy.’

M: Have a happy week?

P: That’s it.

M: Laugh. Alright, have a happy week, guys. Bye.

P: Laugh. Bye!

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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The Happiness Gene: Are We Born Happy?

by

Philosophers, scientists and psychologists have been pondering this question for centuries, engaging in countless studies and analyses of the human condition to find an answer to Are We Born Happy? Why do certain people have the gift of being intrinsically at peace, while others are caught in the grips of depression and sadness, feeling trapped in the quicksand of everyday life? Unfortunately, the answer to whether we are born intrinsically happy is not entirely clear, but research does confirm that all of us come into this world with a specific “happiness gene.” So there you have it, right? If we all have this gene, we all should be happy. 

Well… not so quick. Like most things in life, not all things are created equal. And, when it comes to science, especially as it relates to the human body, there are almost always conditions to every conclusion.

A Little About The Happiness Gene

Researchers have identified that being happy is engrained in our DNA nearly from the point of conception because of a specific gene identified as 5-HTT or “the happiness gene.” This means that all of us have this gene. On its face, this revelation would SEEM to suggest that all of us should exit the womb happy, grow up happy and live happy lives. Great… so why is that not the case?

Because there are exceptions to every rule, even in science. Research conducted by Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, a behavioural economist at the London School of Economics, and a study by the Journal of Human Genetics suggests that all of us are predisposed to be happy BUT that doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed over the long haul. When we dig a little deeper into the science and research that has been done on the subject of the “happiness gene,” the answer to “Are We Born Happy?” becomes a bit more complicated. 

Understanding the Science

The 5-HTT gene carries the code for serotonin receptors. Serotonin, a primary “feel good” neurotransmitter, requires a receptor on our cell walls for them to attach to in order to exert their effects. So, while this “happiness gene” does not get involved in making serotonin it is necessary for it to work. The 5-HTT gene varies from person to person meaning it can be either short or long. Researchers embarked upon a definitive study to determine whether a short or long 5-HTT gene had any correlation with happiness levels. They did this by asking participants in their study whether they were very satisfied, satisfied, dissatisfied, very dissatisfied or “none of the above” with their life as whole. They then matched their genetic makeup to these results, remembering that every person has two codes for the 5-HTT gene: one from their mother and one from their father.

Among those who had a long-long version of the 5-HTT gene, 69 per cent said they were very satisfied or satisfied with life. Only 19 per cent of those with the short-short version were satisfied or very satisfied. This illustrates a very strong link between the 5-HTT gene and happiness, although it does not say that genetics are the whole story. What this does tell us, though, is why we each have a unique baseline level of happiness and why some people tend to be happier than others. (Source: Journal of Human Genetics)

Clearly, genetics play a significant role (nearly 50%) in how we present ourselves to the world. Physically, there is not much we can do to change how we look, walk, talk, our mannerisms, etc.

Emotionally and psychologically, however, even the researchers acknowledge that there are additional factors, including other genes, external circumstances, environmental factors, and our individual actions and thoughts, that combine to impact our ability to be happy.

We are, if you will, predisposed to be happy if we are born with the long version of the gene; unfortunately, those with the short version of the happiness gene might not be so lucky. So, how do we know, and it does it really matter? And if we are truly “born happy,” why do many of us struggle with finding our personal happy place?

The Dalai Lama is widely quoted as saying that “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” Personally, I believe this to be true. But putting this principle into practice can, at times, be insurmountable. It’s just not as easy as it sounds. Yes, we are all born with the so-called “happiness gene.” But that is just one part of a complex internal ecosystem that is different for everyone. No two individuals are exactly the same, which makes our existence both beautiful and complex.

On the one hand, it is clear that most of us want to create certain feelings like passion, excitement, purpose, love and other emotions that make us happy. But this journey to happiness can often fall flat because we set unreasonable expectations for ourselves and others or look in all the wrong places. And, in other instances, some people who are generally perceived as being happy can experience certain circumstances in their lives that turn their world upside down leaving them sad, angry and a shell of their former selves.  

The good news is that most people generally find their way to – or back to – their own baseline for what makes them happy. Life can be challenging to navigate but perhaps we can all find solace in knowing that our body is predisposed from birth to be happy! Much like being genetically predisposed to being happy, we are also capable of facing our challenges believing in our ability to be resilient. We can overcome external and environmental factors that affect our happiness, as well as obstacles that will inevitably come our way. I’ve done it – you can, too.