Unapologetically Marie

Writer, podcaster, mental health advocate

Happiness Blog

Roller Coasters, Time to Let Go! (E78)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about the thrill of Roller Coasters, good stress and when it’s time to put up your hands and just let go! 

Show notes

The Science of the Thrill Marvin Zuckerman

4 personality types  

  1.  Adventure seekers
  2.  New experience seekers
  3.  People seeking to lose inhibitions
  4.  People susceptible to boredom

Grey matter vs. white matter

Kelly McGonigal Ted talk on good stress

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: And we’re back!

P: Ta da! Here we are again. It’s like Groundhog Day.

M: Thanks?

P: Same day, same spot.

M: I thought this was bonding?

P: Yeah.

M: But you think of it as Groundhog Day?

P: Laugh, it is. I look forward to this every single week because we always do it at the same time. Laugh.

M: Same bat time, same bat channel.

P: [Pew] Laugh.

M: We age ourselves every week, you do know that, laugh.

P: Hey, I’m 48 proud of it. I’m not quite 48 but I’m nearly there. Laugh.

M: And I’m 28 and keeping busy.

P: Laugh! I went, I went with the real factor.

M: Laugh! So, what are we talking about today Pete?

P: We’re talking about roller coasters. Woo hoo, what fun!? Laugh!

M: Yay!

P: Who doesn’t love roller coasters? …Aah me.

M: Really?

P: Well actually, we have a mutual friend that converted me from a non-roller coaster lover to a roller coaster lover. God Bless him.

M: It’s all about opting in.

P: Yeah, it totally was. I got forced. I got dragged through the gates of a theme park and hearing “we’re going here!” And I’m like, “Oh, shit.” Laugh!

M: I wouldn’t recommend forcing people who are not inclined onto rollercoasters because it can be petrifying and that could actually be quite traumatic.

P: Exactly. Yeah, it was. It was, I was that person that doesn’t scream. I’m the one that just sits there with this panicked expression on their face, holding their breath for the three minutes.

M: Oh, I love watching those!

P: Laugh.

M: Because when you’re on the other side and loving it, watching people who are petrified is just like a whole other thing that you just don’t wrap your head around.

P: Laugh. It was, Jeffrey was very good, though. He took me on one that was indoors, which was great.

M: Nice.

P: Yeah, it was good. So, it was just black. We got out of the roller coaster and I said, “Did we go upside down?” He said, “I think so.”

M: Laugh!

P: We better, we better do it again just to check. So, we did, laugh.

M: Space Mountain? The best indoor, dark.

P: No, actually it wasn’t Space Mountain. It was something, something else. It was at the MGM one in Miami, and it had it had Aerosmith playing that’s all I remember.

M: Oh! The Aerosmith ride! That’s awesome!

P: Yeah, yeah. That one.

M: Ok. Alright, I’m with you.

P: That was my first roller coaster.

M: That’s a big roller coaster, too.

P: It is.

M: So, Space Mountain at Disneyland is small compared to Aerosmith.

P: Yeah, I take it hard core. Laugh!

M: So, I’m feeling happy just talking about roller coasters.

P: Laugh. There’s a reason why Marie, there’s such a reason why.

M: There is.

P: You are hard wired for this.

M: There’s a child inside me, I’m sure.

P: Yeah.

M: Disney, roller coasters, I’m there every time.

P & M: Laughter.

M: But please explain more. So, what is the draw of roller coasters?

P: Thrill seeking.

M: I’m down.

P: Yeah, we as humans are hardwired to go thrill seeking and have that almost petrifying response in our bodies because it does stuff to our system. And by our system, I mean our brain and also a physical system.

M: I feel like it wakes you up.

P: There’s a huge release of dopamine and adrenaline [epinephrine] and norepinephrine [noradrenaline] and all those lovely happy hormones –

M: Mmm hmm.

P: – after an event like this. And this is why we go seeking it, because that high that you have afterwards is intoxicating and you want more!

M: It’s legal drugs.

P: Yep, completely. There’s lots of science and research behind this.

M: And we don’t even have to pay for the drugs because the body produces them naturally.

P: Laugh, it does. And so, it’s that whole idea of having a hit, and we want to go and get more of it. And this comes from a real primal idea of taking on the woolly mammoth with a spear. You know, something –

M: The fight or flight response.

P: Yep, completely. It’s an absolute primal mechanism, which we love. And this is the weird thing, it’s the concept of the thing that may kill us but that doesn’t that actually makes us want it more. It’s like, ‘Oh wow, cool. I survived that. Let’s do it again!’ Laugh!

M: I love it. Well, actually, there’s a lot to this. So, when I was doing public speaking training, we learned that public speaking is one of the biggest fears.

P: Yes.

M: In the world. Number one fear for a lot of people, and there’s a way that you can train your brain to see that fear as not fear but excitement and your response that fight or flight reaction that your body has to a threat can be controlled and redirected into a positive psychological experience.

P: Ok.

M: So, someone who gets on a roller coaster and who is petrified and they’re the person at the front who somehow got shuffled into the front even though they didn’t want to be there and has a look of sheer terror and doesn’t scream.

P: Laugh.

M: Research shows that people who are enjoying themselves are the ones screaming the ones who shut up wish they weren’t there.

P: Laugh!

M: And so, with public speaking, you know you’re about to get up on stage, you check that you’re wearing your pants –

P: Laugh!

M: And you’re feeling jittery, and your stomach is tied in knots. And if you do some power poses – have we talk about power poses on the podcast before?

P: Is that the bicep flex in front of the mirror of the gym.

M: That works. Yes, it’s about expanding your stance. Spread your legs a little bit –

P: Oh! Oof.

M: Shoulders up, and make yourself big and do some jumping or exercise to get the blood pumping even more.

P: Yep, yep.

M: But you could be going down the wrong path if you’re directing this new energy or increased energy into more fear.

P: Yep.

M: And the big one, put a big smile on your face, even though you might not be feeling it.

P: Yeah, fake it. Laugh.

M: Right, So yep. And you’re going to tell yourself I’m excited, I’m pumped, this is going to be awesome. And if you do that enough with that big smile on your face, which starts to release those chemicals as well the positive chemicals, you can trick your brain into not thinking of your physiological reaction as fear.

P: Yeah.

M: Yet actually, start to think of it as excitement.

P: Mmm.

M: And so many speakers you’ll see come bounding onto the stage. Not because they’re just super cheery, happy, crazy over the top people who need more ADHD meds.

P: Laugh!

M: But because they’re trying to control their public speaking fears.

P: Yep, it’s the Tony Robbins effect.

M: Absolutely. Oh, I’m not sure. I think Tony Robbins actually might need those ADHD meds.

P & M: Laughter!

M: A lot of other people aren’t that naturally hyper, laugh.

P: Well, I don’t think he is. He’s not naturally hyper, but he gets himself into that hyper state. And the interesting thing that I think Tony Robbins has clocked is that he gets his audience into that hyper state. It’s all about the fluffer Marie.

M: Oh, the fluffer, we’re back to the fluffer.

P: The fluffer.

M: And for those of you who have joined us recently –

P: Laugh!

M: – there was a whole sidebar conversation very early on, where Pete had to explain what a fluffer does.

P: Google it, it’s fun.

M: I now know.

P & M: Laughter.

M: Back to roller coasters, laugh.

P: Back to roller coasters, so are roller coasters good or bad for us?

M: It comes down to the good or bad stress argument.

P: Ah, which is?

M: That stress is not bad or good. It’s both.

P: Now we’ve talked a little bit about this before in a previous episode about eustress and I love this eustress is spelt EU stress. I kind of think of it as European stress.

M: Laugh!

P: It’s like, ‘Eustress doesn’t kill me because I look fabulous while I’m smoking in my French beret and my Jean-Claude Gaultier T-shirt.’ Laugh.

M: Insert disclaimer here about smoking. Yes, laugh. Eustress got it. And that is the positive stress and roller coasters fall into that bucket, right?

P: There we go, yep. So, you don’t have to be a CEO of a company and thrive on having deadlines. You’ve just got to jump on a roller coaster.

M: Love it, or there’s a range of other things you can do. So, this isn’t just roller coasters. You can watch scary movies, for instance, and I’m out of ideas. [literally any thrill-seeking activity!] You got anything else? Laugh.

P: Bungee jumping.

M: Laugh, there you go.

P: Bungee jumping.

M: Laugh.

P: Well this brings me to a little bit of research that I found when I was looking at some stuff behind this of a gentleman by the name of Marvin Zuckerman. And Zuckerman has been studying The Science of the Thrill for the last 40 years. He started in the 1970’s, actually 1960’s and got through to the 1970’s, and he came up with the four personality types of humans.

Now, apparently, we all fit into one of these four types, and number one is the adventure seeker, and these are the people that seek physical challenges. The second is the new experience seeker. These are your travellers, the people that go to exotic places, try new foods, have chilli. Yeah, Marie’s ticking the box on both of these.

Right now, laugh.

M: I am. Especially the second one, but both laugh.

P: Laugh.

M: If you can do them together, I’m in.

P: Laugh, you usually do.

M: Laugh.

P: The third one is people seeking to lose inhibitions. Now I find this an interesting one.

M: I don’t have any of those.

P: Laugh. Neither do I, I get naked at a moment’s notice? I’m happy, you know.. let my inhibitions loose. Laugh.

M: I’d just like to say that Brené Brown taught me how to be vulnerable. Not that I have no inhibitions, laugh.

P: Laughter!

M: Moving on, yes.

P: Moving on.

M: Those people in that group they’re got no inhibitions – oh, they’re trying to get rid of their inhibitions?

P: They’re trying to lose their inhibitions. So, these are the ones –

M: Oh, ok. I love it.

P: – they thrive on making social connections, so they love the crowds, they love the groups. They like being in touch with people or dinner parties and things like that. They enjoyed meeting new people.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Because it allows them to open themselves up a little bit more.

M: Yeah.

P: And the final group are the people who are susceptible to boredom. People who get bored easily.

M: I think I’ve got three out of four.

P & M: Laugh!

P: These people crave novelty. They crave new stimulus.

M: And so many people do. For anyone who’s ever been in a long-term relationship, you can’t tell me that you look at your partner 10 years later and feel the same butterflies and honeymoon excitement to that person as you did when you first got together.

P: Laugh.

M: It just doesn’t happen. If you do know the secret, though I’m all ears.

P: Laugh, that could be another episode.

M: Laugh, but it’s the reason why there’s a period called the honeymoon period, because when there is novelty with someone new that you click with and connect with.

P: Mmm.

M: That’s you know, I’ve just got this huge grin on my face, and I can’t talk now, right?

P: Laugh.

M: Like it’s a great feeling. It’s an absolutely amazing feeling to be falling in love with someone. But then, once you know that they never put their socks in the hamper and they like to go the bathroom with the door open –

P: Laugh.

M: Like all of that stuff, laugh.

P: Laugh, not naming any names, of course. You only have one husband, don’t you Marie?

M: Yep, only one. I’m working on that.

P: Laugh! We love you, Francis.

M: I do, one is enough.

P & M: Laugh.

P: So, Zuckerman talks about these four personality types and that, yes, we all fall in the middle of these, and you can be part of more than one. So, there is that type, but I think it’s an interesting one to put your if you had to choose one. It says something about your personality, but also something about your brain makeup.

So, there are certain – all our brains are different. We all have different ways of using our brain. Some of us have more grey matter than white matter. And I found this really interesting.

M: But what does that mean?

P: Being the newly developed scientist that I am.

M & P: Laugh.

P: So, grey matter are nerve cells.

M: Yep.

P: They are on the outside of our brain because they’re the neurons, the cells that do all the connections and make all the connections. Whereas the white matter is the axons they’re the terminals, the nerve conduction is they take the pathways through. So, our spinal cord has white matter on the outside and grey matter on the inside, our brain is inverted.

M: Ok.

P: It has the grey matter on the outside because we need all those neural connections to be firing off each other. We don’t want them protected by axons and tucked away where they can’t form connections.

M: And the grey matter is smarts?

P: …Well, yeah. If you’ve got more grey matter. So, this is why the human brain is more developed and say are primates and birds, for example, it’s the folds of our brain creates more surface area. And that’s why the grain matters on the outside of our brain because it allows us so many millions of connections, which is why our brains are so well developed.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And if you compare a human brain with a chimpanzee brain, it has less folds. So, the dexterity of those connections is less. And then, if you look at a bird brain, for example, it’s almost smooth.

M: Mmm.

P: So, the ability to have those different connections is reduced by the shape of the brain if you like.

M: What’s the name of the dog breeds that have all the folds? [Shar-Pei]

P: Laugh. Oh, is it Shih tzu, no… what are they called? Oh, I can’t remember.

M: I’ve got a dog in my head, laugh.

P: Fluffy with wrinkles.

M & P: Laugh.

P: So, some of us have more grey matter than others, and that determines our personality type, so that might determine what kind of a thrill seeker you are. And if you’re, if you know someone that is constantly putting themselves in harm’s way, this could be the reason why they actually need that sense of excitement or that adventure of nearly dying to stimulate all those lovely fear and flight responses which do wonderful things for their happiness levels.

M: So, my risk taking, and lack of self-control is purely biological and not my fault.

P: Yep, yep. Completely, I absolve you of all responsibility Marie, Laugh!

M: Shar-Peis.

P: There we go! You are a Shar-Pei.  

M: Love it.

P: Laugh!

M: So, there’s an actual physical need, then, for that novelty and thrill seeking.

P: Definitely, you can fall into that adventure seeker personality type, which means you have to be going, you should be going on roller coasters lots. Whereas if you fall into one of the other categories, like people who are susceptible to boredom. You don’t necessarily need to go and jump on to roller coasters, you could just read a new book or find a new game to play or take up a new sport. So, it’s different horses for different courses if you like.

M: Always. I do have one last, – before we wrap up – one last study that I thought was really interesting. Researchers put a bunch of asthmatics on roller coasters.

P: Oh, I like this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh!

M: I don’t know how they got permission to do this one.

P: I think there were some very enthusiastic volunteers.

M: Laugh.

P: It was like, ‘we’re going to take you to a theme park and study your brain, woo!’

M: Study your asthma reactions?

P: Laugh, yeah.

M: So, when asthmatics feel short of breath, that can be a really, truly traumatic feeling and can spiral into very negative feelings and reactions and physiological reactions that often lead to attacks.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: So, researchers took a bunch of asthmatics and put them on roller coasters to recreate that shortness of breath, but they wanted to see whether or not they would go down that negative thinking and physiological response.

P: Consequential response, yeah.

M: Or whether the release of – so this is the difference between good stress and bad stress.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: -the good stress from the roller coaster, whether the release of all the endorphins and the dopamine and…

P: Serotonin. [Not scientifically backed]

M: All of that would have an impact in another way. And lo and behold, it did.

P: Yay.

M: These guys had the same types of initial physiological reactions when they were excited. So, shortness of breath, faster heart rate, etcetera, blood pressure. But the positive emotions that we’re going along with it meant that they recovered and moved on. Got off the roller coaster went and got a hot dog.

P: Laugh. It’s good. There’s a positivity to stress, and I’ll throw this one in there as well. There’s a speaker called Kelly McGonigal, not Professor McGonigal out of Harry Potter.

M: Laugh, yep.

P: She does a lovely Ted talk that talks about the positive you eustress’s and how it’s all about our response to stress and how we can use stress in a real positive way. I really will put this in the show, notes Leandra, laugh.

M: He says that every week and then doesn’t, just so you know listeners.

P: Yeah, I know…

M: Laugh.

P: But she does actually talk about the Harvard University stress tests and how they turn stress into a real positive reaction for us. So that’s worth having a little look at if you’re interested in what we’re talking about today.

M: And on a final note on that one. If you are a procrastinator, like most students, a lot of students and you wait until the last minute to get your assignments or to cram for your exams. There’s two ways to view that.

One is ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m never going to pass. I have so much to do.’

Or two, ‘I’m G’d up and I’m going to do this and let’s just power through it and get it done.’

P: Yeah, I can fly by the seat of my pants, and I can still ace this, yeah.

M: Exactly. And again, I come back to all of that positive affirmation and positive self-talk and glass are full and we’re seeing themes here Pete.

P: Yeah, laugh.

M: You’d think our podcast is about happiness, wouldn’t you?

P: Laugh!

M: Absolutely. All right, well, that wraps up our discussion of roller coasters with a resounding yes.

P: Laugh and being a former/ newly subscribed person to roller coasters, I say go for it. Loads of fun. Go with a friend and just remember, screaming is obligatory, laugh!

M: Oh, absolutely. You’ve got to let loose, and you’ve got to let go. Hands up!

P: Oh, let loose! Let go! And hands up!

M: Hands up!

P: Have a happy week.

M: See you next time.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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7 Simple Steps to Happiness

by

7 Simple Steps to Happiness

7 Simple Steps to Happiness Right Now 

This past year has weighed heavily on all of us. The world was disrupted in unimaginable ways, and we’re still reeling from the impacts. After months of constant stress and anxiety, many of us are just trying to get back on track. One of the things we’ve learned through the pandemic is that we cannot afford to attach happiness to things or circumstances.  

Your happiness is in your hands, and you can influence it with the small things that you do on a daily basis. Sample these ideas that will uplift your mood and improve your day.  

1. Connect With Family and Friends  

In today’s connected world, many people spend time with people without truly paying attention to them. If we’re not busy working, then we’re engrossed in our gadgets and screens. In the internet era it is all too easy to be online paying attention to someone miles away, whom you’ll never get to meet, while ignoring the very person next to you.  

Unfortunately, while watching TV, listening to music and playing games online can be good sources of relaxation and short-term satisfaction and happiness, we often spend too much time in front of screens, to the detriment of spending time doing things that are more likely to bring us long-term happiness and joy. 

The simple answer is to make an effort to put away your gadgets ever now and then and hold conversations that count. Find out how the people around you are doing. Listen to their experiences, thoughts, ideas, and opinions. The same goes for your colleagues and friends. Call them and have meaningful conversations. Forming deeper relationships with those around you will instantly make you happier. 

One of the best things you can do to build relationships: organise a group trip! Not only can everyone participate in planning, they will also have something to look forward to, and then there’s of course the trip itself which everyone will get to share and build new memories from. 

2. Perform Acts of Kindness  

At a time when so many people are struggling with job losses or reduced hours, or the stress of the pandemic, a great way to bring some joy into your life and someone else’s is to perform an act of kindness.  

  • Do you have people around you who are in isolation? Offer to pick up their groceries.  
  • Do you know of a family with someone who is sick? Drop them a hot meal or send a care package. 
  • Do you know someone who lost their job? Visit them with some basic supplies.  

Check on people. Hear them out. Comfort them. Donate to the community center. Just chip in where you can. Taking attention away from yourself and focusing on someone in need has been shown to leave you happier and more fulfilled.   

3. Do Something Brave  

Identify something that makes you nervous and tackle it. It does not have to be an enormous task. Have you been postponing a difficult conversation? Make that call and talk it over. Have you been meaning to apologise to someone? You may as well do it now. Maybe you can send that job application even when you feel underqualified, or unsure about moving on.  

After the initial anxious moments you’ll feel a joyful feeling of triumph, just like when you get on a rollercoaster or watch a scary movie. The small wins associated with overcoming your fears will also build your confidence and you’ll soon be attempting more challenging tasks.  

4. Start Your Day Positively  

Spend the very first moments of your day intentionally. Most of us reach for the phone even before we get out of bed, allowing whatever content we come across to set the tone of our day. Intentionality allows you to choose exactly what you want to expose your heart and mind to before anything else.  

Remember, how you spend your first moment of the morning has a significant effect of the rest of the day. Try spending 30 minutes listening to an inspirational podcast, reading, praying, meditating, exercising, journaling or anything else that will fill you with positive energy, and watch the rest of your day follow the same trajectory.  

5. Organise Your Space  

A well-arranged space instantly uplifts your moods and makes you more productive. Whereas a messy house is interpreted by our brains as a laundry list of to-do items –adding stress to our days. 

Start with your bed, which you can make immediately after getting up. It sounds like a small detail, but the sight of a well-made bed can instantly make you feel more organised and ready for the day ahead. It also reduces the tendency to slip back under the covers for a ‘few more minutes’ which just ends up throwing your day into disarray.  Similarly, every evening before bed, take a few minutes to arrange the house. If you have kids, it takes much more effort to remain neat, but it’s worth it to wake to a tidy space in the morning. Even the best mood will be dented when you’re tripping over toys and sitting on food spills. Once a week, arrange your working space as well. Get rid of what you don’t need. Decluttering makes maintaining order much easier. Just the sight of a well-organized room will help you release that stress and leave you feeling happier.  

6. Work on Acceptance and Moving Forward 

Many people are still in denial over the magnitude of loss that the pandemic has caused. If your life was disrupted immensely, you probably still have moments when you ask yourself, ‘did this really happen?’ Unfortunately, it did, and now the question is: what’s next? Grief is a natural and normal and needed reaction to loss of any kind. However, eventually we all need to find a way to move forward, and the way to do that is through acceptance.  

Accept the new circumstances of your life. Your job, income, age, weight, and all. You may not be where you’d have wished, but you’re here. Work to introduce a gratitude practice every day to rediscover what you have to be grateful for, and work to accept your current situation, and finally, set some new goals for the future to give you something to work toward and plan for.  

Remember, if you are truly struggling with how to move forward after a significant loss, please speak to a professional. Sometimes we all need a bit more help. 

7. Connect With Nature  

One of the easiest ways to bring instant happiness to your life is to step out and enjoy nature. If it’s sunny, even better. Feel the sunshine warm your skin. Soak in Vitamin D. Indulge in whatever elements of nature are around you.  

And it doesn’t have to be a 10-hour hike through rugged terrain. It could be as simple as bird watching in your backyard. Fix a bird feeder to a tree or on a pole (somewhere off the ground to avoid predators). Or you can drive to the local park, nature trail, forest, beach, and simply sit and watch. Why not try walking barefoot or just touch the trees. That simple emotional or physical contact with nature siphons away your stress and leaves you more relaxed.  

You don’t have to go for a vacation to feel happier. Neither do you have to spend loads of money. The above practices are well within reach and you can carry them out any day. Your happiness is mostly within your control and is you responsibility; gift it to yourself in abundance. 

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources! 

Sphere of Control and Chaos! (E77)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week Marie and Pete talk about your sphere of control and chaos, and how to focus on things you can control or should just let go. 

Show notes

Sphere of Control

Exercise in letting go.

  • Write down all your worries and concerns that you have right now.
  • Put a mark next to each one for:  
    • within your control,
    • within your influence, or
    • out of your control.
  • Acknowledge where most of your worries and concerns are and think about whether you should be letting them take up that space in your brain.
  • Read aloud the worries/concerns that are outside of your control and notice how they make you feel. How does your body react to those issues and concerns that are outside of your control? Analise them and try to look at them differently or reframe them.
  • The next step is hard, you need to make the decision to let them go.
  • Imagine putting them in a balloon and having them float away, this is hard for people who have never done visualisation before but well worth the effort.
  • Make this an annual event with a close friend or family member.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: Hey, hey.

P: And we’re back.

M: And we’re back.

P: (High voice) Hi Muz, how are you?

M: I am good. How are you?

P: I did sound like Mickey Mouse there. [Mickey Mouse voice] Hi Muz, how are you? Woo hoo!

M & P: Laugh!

M: I’m going back to the, like the thirties, the real original Mickey Mouse.

P: Yeah, the really high pitched Mickey Mouse.

M: My mind is on the steam train. [Steam boat!]

P: Yeah.

M: [Failed attempt at whistling] …

P: I’m going to let that go.

M & P: Laughter!

M: And how are you?

P: I’m going crazy, laugh.

M: Obviously. You’re in week three of lockdown, aren’t you? It only took two and a half weeks.

P: [Horror movie voice] The walls are bleeding.

M & P: Laugh!

P: I am going slightly so crazy. It’s not good for my mental health, laugh.

M: So, so far in lockdown. Because even though I’m up in Tamworth, I have been locked down because I was in Sydney within the last two weeks. So, been locked down up here. I have started growing four plants that I can’t pronounce, and I have no idea what I’m growing.

P: Laugh!

M: I have made rock cakes.

P: Oh, wow.

M: Which really brought back memories from being a child.

P: CWA recess lollies.

M: Right? They even had actual CWA jam on them, thank you very much.

P: Oh! Wow, wow.

M: It had a handwritten note with when it was made.

P: Ohh. My mum does that, ohh.

M: Laugh.

P: Memories, there so good.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Anyway! Getting onto the story.

M: We are talking about spheres of control –

P: And chaos!

M: Bah, Bow..

P: Ha, ha, ha! Chaos theory! [Extremely high-pitched voice] Everything is vibrating at very high frequencies.

M: We’re absolutely not talking chaos theory. That would be biting off way more than we could chew, laugh.

P: Yeah, laugh. Existential scientists would be raiding my house.

M: Mmm hmm. Yeah. I picture like the crew of Big Bang theory-

P: Yeah, pretty much.

M: – going “you’re wrong!”

P: Very much. But we’re not talking about that, we’re talking about the sphere of control. What is this supposed, sphere of control that you talk about, Marie? Enlighten me.

M: So, if you imagine an M&M-

P: Mmm, num num num.

M: – in the middle, so the smallest.

P: Ok.

M: And that is what you can control in the world.

P: Ok, yep.

M: And then you have an orange.

P: Wow…

M: The M&M is in the middle of the orange, right?

P: Ok.

M: This is a really bad analogy.

P: Laugh!

M: So, what you can control is the M&M, the orange is what you can influence.

P: Oh.

M: And then the orange is in a watermelon.

P: Woah!

M: And the watermelon represents everything else outside of your control and influence.

P: Oh, my lord. Are they all inside each other like a turducken?

M: Yes, like a turducken.

P: Ahh. Got it.

M: Yes. Now, where crazy things us humans.

P: Laugh.

M: And unfortunately, we are wired to worry. We’ve talked about wired for negativity wired to look out for us and our kind. And we have this nasty habit if it’s left unchecked of worrying and being anxious about things that are in the watermelon…

P & M: Laugh.

M: That are outside of our control and influence.

P: [Life coach/instructional voice] Be the watermelon. No! don’t be the watermelon.

M: Don’t be the watermelon. Leave the watermelon alone.

P: Laugh.

M: Yeah. What you should, in a controlled and measured way, worry and be anxious about is what you can control.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And I would argue that you should get through your worry and anxious phase quickly into action rather than dwelling in a negative mind space.

P: Yep.

M: What you can again spend time worrying about is the orange, what you can influence. But again, you need to give up a little bit of control there and understand that you may be able to influence things in that sphere, but they still may not go your way.

P: Oh.

M: And there’s nothing you can do about that sometimes.

P: Ok, all right, all right.

M: Everything else. Don’t worry about it. Let it go!

P: [Singing] Let it go, let it go…

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Laugh.

M: Now, that is far easier said than done.

P & M: Laugh!

M: For myself included.

P: So, it’s be the M&M. Don’t be the watermelon.

M: Yes.

P: And try to recognise the orange.

M: I really need to work on my stories before –

P: No, I like it. It’s working for me, it’s animated.

M: – we go on air.

P & M: Laugh!

M: So really, what we’re talking about is something that, if left unchecked, can lead to people having high anxiety and worrying unnecessarily. And if any of you have ever known someone who worries all the time, it can take over your life.

P: Definitely, that obsession over… and again, obsessions are one of the elements that are outside of your control.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: They’re unattainable. Why do we spend so much time worrying about it when we actually have no control over what it can do?

M: Yep, and not only that, if you’re worrying about all of those things, you can’t control your probably not moving through the concerns of issues that you can control and getting to the point where you actually just take some action and drive it to a conclusion that’s satisfying for you.

P: So, is this a case of distraction? Are we being distracted by our external worries or things outside of our immediate control?

M: It can be that. It can be distraction. There is always the procrastinator amongst us, laugh.

P: Yes, yes. Laugh.

M: So, it could be that. But a lot of people are not good with uncertainty.

P: Ahh.

M: And so, the fear of what could go wrong stops them from taking any action.

P: That’s beyond risk takers?

M: Absolutely. Generally, risk takers and just move forward.

P: Yep.

M: That’s a very big generalisation there.

P: Laugh.

M: But it’s the people who worry and who are anxious that we’re talking about here.

P: Hmm.

M: And day to day, if you’re on a healthy mental health spectrum, people worry and they get anxious all the time. But they move through it quickly and they don’t dwell. And they tend to have enough self-understanding to know when to let some worry go and just go ‘Meh, what are you going to do about it.’

P: Yeah.

M: You know covid, ‘what are you going to do about it.’

P: Mmm, yep.

M: Covid has been paralysing for some people.

P: Mmm, definitely.

M: Yeah. So, we do have an exercise you can do –

P: Ooh, audience participation. Yay.

M: – if you find yourself too tied to that watermelon.

P: Laugh. I love the watermelon analogy. You’ve got to keep that in, that’s brilliant, laugh.

M: Oh dear.

P: I can just see a big room full of people with a watermelon and an orange and an M&M just going, “What the?”

M: Laugh!

P: Where are we going with this? And then you’ve got to start stuffing things inside each other, it’s gonna get messy. It’s gonna be awesome.

M: Laugh. Oh, dear. All right. Well, the exercise.

P: Laugh.

M: So, if you find that you are anxious just as a rule.

P: Yep.

M: Or that you’re feeling a lot of anxiety or worry at this particular point because we can definitely have triggers or things in our life, periods of our life where we’re more anxious or worried than others.

P: Yes, I agree.

M: Particularly if there’s a lot of change happening around you. This is a great little exercise. So, the first thing you want to do is get a pen and paper and write down all the things in your work and personal and different lives, all of your life, laugh.

P: Laugh, ok.

M: All the things in your life that are crappy or that are not going well or that you’re not happy with.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: So, for me right now, if I had to do this thing on my list would be: I’m not getting enough exercise.

P: Yep.

M: I’m feeling tired from work a lot of the time, you know, and so on and so forth.

P: Ok.

M: And so, you write them all down and then next to them. You’re going to write M&M, orange or watermelon.

P: Laugh!

M: In my control –

P: Still laughing.

M: Within my control. [M&M]

P: Okay,

M: Within my influence; [Orange]

or Outside of my control and influence. [Watermelon]

P: Can we just digress a little bit there Marie, and can we define the difference between control and influence?

M: Sure. So, I can control what time I wake up in the morning.

P: Yeah.

M: 100% control over that.

P: Ok.

M: I can. Some people may not be able to.

P: Yep, ok.

M: I can’t control how high my rent is. I can potentially influence it by having a conversation and seeing if someone can reduce my rent because I’ve lost my job during covid.

P: Ok, yeah.

M: So, I could influence that possibly.

P: Mmm yeah.

M: There are steps I can take.

P: Yeah.

M: Or I could move house.

P: Ok.

M: I cannot at all – The watermelon is covid a great example.

P: Yep.

M: I can’t control that, outside of my control and influence. Can’t do anything about it.

P: Yeah, yeah.

M: All right. The influence is a bit, it’s the one in between, the grey area, where you may be able to do a whole range of things that still don’t lead to any change in situation.

P: Mmm hmm. Yep, ok.

M: All right, so you are going to write your list, and then you’re going to mark next to it control, influence or outside of control and influence, and have a quick look at what the majority of your complaints and issues fall into.

P: Ok, yeah.

M: So, that’s a good just first step to see whether your anxiety or complaints or annoyances or things that are… it’s like having a million thorns stuck in your hand just getting to you in your brain.

P: Yep.

M: Whether you should actually be letting them take up that space in your brain.

P: Right.

M: The complaints that are outside of your control read them out loud and notice how they make you feel.

P: Oh, that’s a good one.

M: And if you’ve ever done meditation, this will line up quite nicely.

P: What are your feeling when you say them?

M: Yeah.

P: Tap into that feeling.

M: Are your shoulders tight? Do you breathe differently?

P: Hmm.

M: How does your body react to those issues and concerns that are outside of your control.

P: Yes.

M: And really get to know them. Have a look at them, and are there any of them that you can look at differently? Reframe.

P: Be honest in assessing.

M: Mmm hmm. Yep. And once you’ve had a look through them and really looked under the covers at what they are and how they make you feel.

P: Ok,

M: The big work is, can you let them go?

P: Oh! …How do you do that? Laugh.

M: Once your rational brain has written them down, identified them, you’ve acknowledged the way they make you feel, but you know that they’re outside of your control. Can you let any of them go?

P: Mmm.

M: A great way to do this is with a bit of visualisation.

P: I like this one.

M: Yeah. What you can do is picture in your brain that you’re putting your concern, so covid, into a balloon. Blow up your balloon, you pop it in there and you let it go… You don’t blow it up sorry, you’ve got helium, sorry.

P: Laugh.

M: You let it go up and watch it float away and disappear.

P: Ahh. It’s like the Disney movie Tangled. When they do the lights, they send them all up into the sky.

M: Yes, yes, the Chinese lights.

P: And there’s a festival in Thailand, isn’t there where they do that as well? With, um, with I’m not sure if I’m quoting the right one is the Lantern Festival? [Magical Lanterns Festival in Thailand]

M: They definitely do it in Vietnam.

P: Oh, sorry Vietnam. My apologies.

M: I have a feeling it might be part of quite a few different cultures.

P: Mmm, mmm. It’s a lovely image because it’s a real releasing and letting it go. It’s like going into it into a big paddock and screaming stuff out to get it out of your body. I like the peaceful image of a balloon and, you know, writing things on a piece of paper and then watching it waft off into the nether lands and saying goodbye to my lost long lost obsession.

M & P: Laughter!

M: Your anxiety or something that was keeping you up at night.

P: Yes.

M: Yeah, and there’s power in writing these things down.

P: Yeah. I was just about to say the exact same thing Muz, because there’s so much power in that.

M: If Pete can do it?

P: Yeah, laugh.

M: Yeah, again if you’re prone to anxiety and worry, sit down with the pen and paper is the first step.

P: Mmm.

M: Really just labelling it, understanding it, mucking in and getting dirty and feeling it and putting a name on it.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: All of that stuff is really valuable to then being able to let it go and understanding the subconscious reaction that was maybe happening in your brain. Making it conscious and letting your rational brain throw it away.

P: Yeah.

M: And go “Actually, that’s really silly, I can’t do anything about that.”

P: Not necessary.

M: Can’t do anything about Covid.

P: Yeah. So, find your path through.

M: Now there’s a few things in there –

P: I’m going to jump in.

M: Yeah, I was going to throw to you, laugh.

P: Yeah, laugh. See we’re in sync tonight Muz.

M: Laugh.

P: I’m going to jump in because I came across this wonderful little concept and this is to do with the sphere of influence. So, this is the orange section of the Watermelon M&M and Orange scenario, and this is the concept of Sisu and Sisu actually comes from the Finnish culture in Scandinavia, and it’s described as stoic determination.

M: Mmm.

P: Now, apparently, the Finns take this as a bit of a national pride in terms of being able to display this quality in moments of great, great trial or great adversity. There isn’t actually an English equivalent for sisu, but they say the word gutsy invokes the same sort of character. So, it’s that stoic determination. It’s standing in the face of great adversity and taking action.

M: Mmm.

P: And this action may not actually be the best step, but it’s a step. It’s a step forward. So even by taking this action and adhering to it, you may continue to fail. It may still not bring about the right result.

M: You’re not selling it for me, Pete.

P: Hang on.

M: Laugh.

P: Go with me here. Come with here.

M: Laugh, alright. Alright, I’m with you, the orange, go!

P: Laugh, but it’s that idea of taking action and taking a step. And with that step comes refinement. So, you go ‘okay well, that didn’t work, but let’s change it slightly, let’s approach it from a slightly different perspective.’ And it’s actually taking control by doing actions and steps. Eventually, you reach that point where you’ve taken the right step that brings you out of the sphere of orange and into the sphere of M&M.

M: Laugh.

P: Was that nicely tied up?

M: It’s not out of the sphere of Orange into M&M. Because you still can’t change their external factors? What you are getting out of, is that place of anxiety because you’re shifting from the purely emotional, primordial, gutsy reaction to a controlled, rational thinking, proactive action, and that really can get you out of that anxious space.

P: Yes, definitely.

M: That reactionary space, yep.

P: And again because you’re taking a level of control.

M: Yes.

P: And that’s the most important part of that, that concept.

M: I love it. Sisu.

P: Sisu. Yes. Not to be confused with the character out of Raya and The Last Dragon, which Marie and I both watched this week, and loved.

M: Laugh. Mmm hmm.

P: Who was also called Sisu. [The last dragon – Sisudatu. Nicknamed Sisu]

M: Good movie, you should watch it.

P: Yeah.

M: Even if you’re not five.

P & M: Laugh.

P: There was another reading that I did around this subject, which was done by John Leland, who’s a journalist in America, and he’s written a book called Happiness Is a Choice You Make, and he talks about framing and how you can frame different ideas. And for me, this was the glass half full/ half empty scenario. Marie, you don’t look quite on board with that analogy, but you sort of understand where we’re going with this idea-

M: Oh, definitely.

P: – of looking, looking at issues in a certain light and trying to find instead of trying to find the positive or negative, find the element that you can control.

M: Yep.

P: So, there’s got to be one element in the issue, and there are lots of elements that you may not have any influence over. But there’ll be one that you do or one that you can actually exert some control on. So reframing that idea and looking at a problem in a slightly more creative or lateral way than being linear could possibly bring about a different approach, which again gives you a sense of control, gives you a sense of action, which reinforces your process of addressing it as opposed to being stuck in a circle of anxiety.

M: Yeah, absolutely. And we’ve spoken before about reinforcing neural pathways.

P: Mmm.

M: So for all of those people who are experiencing high levels of anxiety, particularly with covid, which absolutely not judging.

P: Mmm.

M: It is completely fair to be experiencing high levels of anxiety right now.

P: Yeah.

M: If you are experiencing high levels of anxiety and you let that run rampant, what you’re doing is reinforcing anxiety as a way to cope with life in general.

P: Yeah.

M: So, covid may move on.

P: Mmm.

M: We may get herd immunity with vaccines. Borders may reopen, you might win lotto. Everything will be great. And what you’ve done is reinforced that neural pathway that makes you go to anxiety as your default.

P: Yep, exactly.

M: So, for every time that you’ve gone to anxiety as your default reaction over the last year or over your life or over a period in your life, you’ve got to do the exact same amount of work on the flip side to get yourself out of there. And reframing, as you said Peter, glass half full glass or half empty –

P: Mmm.

M: – that reframing is a great way to start to break or build that new neural pathway.

P: And it is breaking that other habit. It’s finding an intervention that actually works against that negative habit.

M: Yep. And if that habit has been reinforced for a very long time. You have got to put just as much work in, unfortunately.

P: Yep, totally agree.

M: I’m going to take 10 days, 20 days, 30 days. It will take just as long to make that new neural pathway the stronger and more dominant one.

P: Yep, unfortunately. Laugh, nothing’s ever easy.

M: [Exasperated voice] Nothing is ever easy.

P: Laugh.

M: Unless you’re a dragon called Sisu.

P: Laugh! You could have a dragon called Sisu, that makes a difference. I’d do that, laugh.

M: I’d do that.

P: So, we’ve got homework Marie?

M: Homework?

P: Yeah. Didn’t you have homework for us?

M: We went through the –

P: Oh ok.

M: We’ve done the homework.

P: So, we’ve done the homework. We’re going out. We’re writing out our issues. We’re addressing the M&M and the Orange.

M: Labelling them.

P: Labelling them, putting them in a balloon and floating them up in the air, laugh.

M: Before you do that, though. Really look at how they make you feel. Say them out loud and identify the ones to let go.

P: It’s going to be ridiculous for some people who have never done visualisation or that kind of action before. You’re going to feel stupid. And yes, it’s good for you.

M: Let me just say as the cynic on this show, you wouldn’t catch me dead doing these.

P: Laugh, that’s it.

M: There is a scientific theory behind this, but there’s no chance in hell that I would be doing it.

P: Laugh.

M: I would be stubborn and dig my heels in and be a cranky old fart until I died before I was visualising stuff in balloons. I have to throw that out there.

P: We’re so doing it. I’m coming to Tamworth and we’re doing it. I’m so going to come and make you do this and we’re going to make this an annual thing. We’re going to have a balloon night once every year.

M: Although, a visualisation of balloons because releasing actual balloons is bad for the environment and animals choke on them.

P: It is, yeah.

M: Alright.

P: On that note, folks imagine balloons have fun, fun with it, and we hope you’re all going well and staying strong and safe during this time.

M: And that you have a happy and safe week, we’ll see you next time.  

P: Bye.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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The Gut-Brain Connection

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Research Shows the Gut-Brain Connection is Key to Our State of Mind 

Our body, like the environment, is a diverse and complex ecosystem in which everything is inextricably connected. In the rush of our day to day lives, the truth is that that many of us take this for granted. We fail to recognise the cause and effect of our decisions and ignore the impact our actions have on our bodies and our lives. Yet increasingly, it is becoming apparent that if you want to achieve mental wellbeing or if you experience mental health issues, sticking your head in the sand is no longer an option. The latest research is showing that what we eat is tied to our mental health, impacting our behaviour, emotions and feelings.   

Some of you may have heard the stomach referred to as our “second brain.” This is backed by the latest research showing that what we eat has a direct impact on both our physiology and psychology, proving there is a direct correlation between food and our happiness. It is vital to understand that research done on this subject doesn’t mean that merely changing your diet will improve your mood. Research does suggest, however, that we need to understand the “gut-brain” connection and the misconceptions about where chemicals responsible for our mood emanate.  

Understanding our Hedonistic Tendencies 

We’ve all had bad days when all we want to do when we get home is order take-out and binge on wine, chips, ice-cream [insert your guilty pleasure here]. We all know that eating certain foods can provide instant gratification and help soothe the soul. And culturally, we are conditioned to use food as a treat for good behaviour and achievement – how often have you heard a frustrated parent say: “If you eat your dinner, you can have dessert.” Families celebrate around food, and ‘special’ food is reserved for special occasions. Yet in a world of low-priced junk-food and convenience shopping, many of us can find ourselves eating ‘special’ foods daily.  

For those who experience depression or struggle with mental wellness, eating what we want is only a temporary way to achieve satiation and create a fleeting sense of satisfaction. The fact is that the moment food is consumed and hits our body’s digestive system, a complex process begins that determines our deeper state of mind. And, when you include into the mix the proliferation of psychotropic drugs developed to treat mental illness, the result is a rise of misconceptions about how to find happiness.   

Common Misconceptions About Where Happiness Emanates 

Generally speaking, most people assume that our emotions and moods are the result of chemical reactions in the brain, which makes complete sense since psychiatrists and psychologists – and the pharmaceutical industry – have been touting this theory for centuries. Based largely on years of theoretical evidence, this is the reason why psychotropic drugs are often used to treat depression. However, a relatively new field of study is telling a completely different story about the root cause of depression, concluding that the gut is where the journey begins when it comes to our state of mind.  

One naturally occurring chemical in our body, serotonin, is primarily responsible for our emotions and happiness, among other things. It is a common misconception that this vital chemical messenger or neurotransmitter, exists in the brain. The fact is that 90 percent of the body’s serotonin is produced in the gut. In a study conducted by two University of California – Los Angeles biologists, Elaine Hsiao and Thomas Fund, it was found that specific gut bacterium detect and transport serotonin into bacterial cells, which than travel to the brain. Furthermore, Hsiao and Fund determined that when there is an imbalance in gut-bacterium, which is impacted directly by what we eat and anti-depressants, serotonin levels are significantly lowered. In layman’s terms, the study supports the premise directly connecting our diet and proper nutrition to our emotional wellbeing.  

As part of their study, when the researchers added a popular antidepressant, they found that bacterium transported significantly less serotonin. “Previous studies from our lab and others showed that specific bacteria promote serotonin levels in the gut,” said Fung. “Our new study tells us that certain gut bacteria can respond to serotonin and drugs that influence serotonin, like anti-depressants. There is a unique form of communication between bacteria and our own cells through molecules traditionally recognized as neurotransmitters.”  

When the team added a popular anti-depressant with bacterium, it resulted in lower levels of the transfer of serotonin to the brain.  The team’s research aligns with a growing number of studies reporting that antidepressants can alter gut microbiota.  

The Science Behind Food and Mood 

“We tend to separate our brain from the rest of our body, but good health means good holistic health – from head to toe,” said Dr. Gabriela Cora, a board-certified nutritional psychiatrist, recently said in a Medium article investigating the connection between diet and emotions. “Why wouldn’t we think eating well would also impact our mental health?” 

Our gastrointestinal tract is home to billions of bacteria – good and bad – that influence the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin as well as dopamine. The difference between the two is that while serotonin is generally associated with how one processes emotions, dopamine is linked more closely with pleasurable experiences and, conversely, when inhibited, results in low motivation, one of the key indicators of depression. Together, having an equilibrium in the levels of serotonin and dopamine has a direct impact on our piece of mind. Conversely, when one or both are out of sync, it can create an internal turmoil that wreaks havoc on our mental state.  

So, where and how does food come into play? Why is eating well so important? Eating healthy food (think the opposite of junk food) promotes the growth of good bacteria, which positively affects positive neurotransmitter production and sends constructive messages to the brain. According to Dr. Cora, “when you stick to a diet of healthy food, you’re setting yourself up for fewer mood fluctuations, an overall happier outlook, and an improved ability to focus.” 

There is no shortage of diets or food regimens from which to choose but few of them reference an impact on mental health. In general, most are focused on losing weight or on living a more balanced life, both of which are positive. One common denominator among a majority of these programs that does impact depression is removing the intake of excessive amounts of sugar and refined carbohydrates.  

Additionally, according to a Psychology Today article written by Dr. Mahmoud Ghannoum, Ph.D., there are numerous studies indicating that probiotics can reduce depression in a manner comparable to conventional prescription medications.  

Trust Your Gut 

It would be easy to relegate solving mental health issues solely to what you eat. Everyone is different and the degree to which one experienced depression or anxiety varies and involves numerous factors, both physiological and psychological. If you are struggling to find greater happiness, trust your gut and seek professional help if you feel it is necessary. It is equally important to take control of your own happiness. To do this, you can work to develop healthy habits and become more knowledgeable about proactive steps you can take on your own to become happier!  

Want to learn more about the science of happiness? Make sure to subscribe to my podcast Happiness for Cynics and my email newsletter for regular updates & resilience resources! 

Roads to Happiness (E76)

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Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about the many roads to happiness and how to navigate them to bring more joy into your life.

Show Notes

Below are the three models for happiness (positive psychology) that are discussed in this podcast. The first modal is from Marie and Pete aka Happiness for Cynics. The second modal is PERMA and was devised be Martin Seligman and the SPIRE modal was created by Tal Ben-Shahar.

  • Finding Meaning and Purpose
  • Strong Relationships
  • Healthy Mind and Body

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

P: And we’re back.

M: … [whispers] Pete, you’re up.

P: I’m leading?! You’re letting me lead for once? Laugh!

M: You can lead the ‘hello’s’.

P: [small voice] Hi… Laugh!

M: Laugh.

P: Welcome back to another fabulous episode of Happiness for Cynics starring Marie Skelton [whispers] and Peter Furness.

M: Well done. Okay. Now to the serious stuff.

P: Laugh! What are we talking about this week, Muz?

M: Road maps to happiness.

P: Oh.

M: I think we should, no let’s just make that “Roads to Happiness.”

P: Different journeys, different roads.

M: Yellow brick roads.

P: Oh, follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road… I can sing the whole song if you want to.

M & P: [Singing] Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road.

M: Laugh, we are on our path to happiness, obviously. We do now take illicit drugs, laugh.

P: Oh, so on the path to happiness, we are leaping across the churches of… churches? Where was I going with churches? I meant bridges.

M: Bridges?

P: The bridges to happiness! Oh, wow. We are a bridge to happiness.

M: Oh, we could be.

P: We are, we are. That could be out new book?

M: Find your road, we’re your bridge.

P: Laugh.

M: I like it, laugh.

P: There’s a troll living under mine –

M: Laugh!

P: – but that’s ok. Laugh!

M: Only because every Disney show has a troll under the bridge.

P: Yeah, and every now and then Gandalf might make an appearance, “You shall not pass! …until you answer a happiness question.”

M: Laugh. I love it! So, road maps or roads to happiness.

P: What are our roads to happiness, Marie.

M: So, we have in the past discussed the model that I use to organise the types of activities that are proven, scientifically proven.

P: Ooh!

M: Science says.

P: Laugh!

M: To lead to happiness. So, we talk about a three-foundation model that includes:

Finding meaning and purpose.

P: Yep.

M: And that is often-times through how you experience your job. But it can mean a million other things as well. You could find meaning and purpose in raising children.

P: Yep.

M: You could find meaning and purpose in volunteering and supporting others. You could find meaning and purpose in creating music. There’s a million different ways that you can find that meaning and purpose. The second foundation is:

Strong relationships.

P: Yep.

M: And this is both romantic relationships as well as family and friends.

P: Yep.

M: And really investing time in having strong relationships around you. And that doesn’t mean 500 Facebook friends.

P: No.

M: And often that takes away from the stronger relations.

P: Yeah, having the intimate relations. These are the relationships that you invest time into, and you really spend time nurturing them. They’re your garden.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: They are your herb garden on your roof that you do during covid.

M & P: Laugh.

P: Don’t let the herbs die, laugh.

M: Absolutely. And then the third foundation that we talk about is:

Healthy mind and body.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And there is so much in there, but it is sleeping well, eating, well, getting exercise, looking after your emotional needs. So practising gratitude, mindfulness, meditation, yoga kind of bridges the mind and body.

P: Yep, emotional first day.

M: Yep.

P: All that stuff.

M: All of those fabulous things, practising kindness. There’s a lot in there, so they’re the three foundations that we talk about on this show.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: But there are other, smarter people that have come before us.

P: NO! Definitely not.

M: Laugh, yep.

P: Laugh.

M: So, we’re going to talk about the science. But more than that, what makes someone impressive in their field is when they have their first model.

P: Oh really, is that all you need?

M: That’s all you need.

P: Laugh!

M: You need a model, so we’re going to start with the forefather, the founder of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman and his model for happiness. So, his way for you, his road or road map for people to follow in order to have better wellbeing and happiness.

P: Ok.

M: And his model is called the PERMA Model.

P: PERMA. Ooh, it sounds like something you do in the nineteen seventies with your hair.

M: Laugh.

P: And don’t get to get it wet.

M: Take a Valium and wash it down with some chardonnay. And so, Pete, I know you’re new to these, but do you want to talk through what PERMA stands for?

P: PERMA has five pillars, as opposed to our three-pillar model. We’re talking about:

Positive emotion

And that comes down to:

  • Spending time with people you care about,
  • Inspirational and uplifting actions,
  • Reflection on gratitude, what’s going well in your life, [and]
  • Experiencing positivity.

M: Yes and creating activities and events that lead to positive moments or experiences in your life.

P: Mmm.

M: Going on holidays.

P: Having friends over for dinner.

M: Yep.

P: That’s what I miss.

M: Yep, Positive emotion. P for PERMA, Positive emotion. A pretty simple one.

P: E. E is for Engagement.

M: I feel like we’re on Sesame Street.

P: Laugh, oh can I be Elmo? Laugh.

M: Laugh!

P: Laugh.

Engagement

  • Living in the moment;
  • Activities that you really love where you lose track of time,
  • Experiencing flow,
  • Spending time in nature, immersing yourself,
  • Observing what happens around you,
  • Identifying and learning about your character strengths, and
  • Doing the things that you excel at.

M: Yeah, so this is really mindfulness, slowing down and getting deeply involved in things and being in the moment.

P: Yep. Relationships, we talk about this all the time, laugh.

M: Yep.

R for Relationships.  

P: So, these are

  • Our intimate and our non-intimate relationships,
  • The people that we have around us that we value.
  • It’s the herb garden.

M: It’s having people who get you.

P: Yeah, yeah, so when you’re stressed and having things not go right, you’ve just got to sit near that person. That’s all you need because they understand. So, creating this friendship –

M: I mean, that’s a big thing to put on someone, laugh.

P: Laugh.

M: But yes, that’s what it is.

P: I think it’s a true measure. I was reflecting on a friendship that I had once where I cut short my holiday in Bath because his boyfriend had dropped him. And I said, that’s it. I’m coming back to London now, and I drove –

M: You’ve got your priorities all wrong, he should have joined you in Bath.

P: Laugh! He was in no state to travel.

M: Aww.

P: So, I did the rescue mission and I had a friend with me and I said, “I’m sorry, we have to go back to London right now, and I need a day.” And I went and sat with my friend for two days actually.

M: “Because you’re not as important as my other friend.” Laugh.

P: Laugh! Oh, come on, no. Sandy was with me for six months, so, you know, one day out of that six is not bad.

M: Alright. But, speaking of priorities, when we talk about relationships, it is about investing in the ones that are worth keeping and pruning. You know if you’re talking about gardens and relationships being like gardens and investing and nurturing.

P: Yep.

M: You do also need to prune, and you need to take out the unhealthy relationships and the relationships that aren’t giving you what you need as well.

P: Yep and not feeling guilty about that.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Really important point. Really important.

M: It takes time. When you’re a kid, it’s about having as many as you can. But you realise, as you grow up that it’s about quality more than quantity.

P: Yeah, definitely. Okay, M.

M is for Meaning.

We talked about this a lot, having meaning and purpose in your life.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So that sort of correlates with our model as well.

M: Yep.

  • Volunteering or
  • Finding passions

Again, this is very similar, I find, and we kind of crossover in our model with Seligman’s Engagement and Meaning. The E and the M from PERMA, there’s a lot of cross-over in those two.

P: Yeah, and the last one is:

A for Accomplishments.

  • Setting goals,
  • Setting smart goals,
  • Reflecting on past successes and
  • Looking for creative ways to celebrate your achievements.

I love that one.

M: Yes. We really don’t talk much about achievement and goal setting except to enable those foundations. So, we have had quite a few episodes where we’ve talked about setting goals and also creating habits –

P: Yes.

M: Towards those goals.

P: Yep.

M: Definitely, you can’t put any of this into practise without goal setting and habit forming and understanding how to do that.

P: I actually think the habit forming is the crux of it, because when something becomes a habit, it becomes what’s the word?

M: Self-fulfilling?

P: Self-fulfilling, that’s the one yep.

M: Laugh, for those of you who can’t see Pete, which is all of you –

P: Laugh.

M: – His head is doing circles on his shoulders.

P: Laugh, I physicalise my thought process.

M: Laugh.

P: Sometimes I have to get up and do pirouettes.

M & P: Laugh.

M: So, absolutely. So, this brings in something that we talk about as underpinning our three foundations. This actually brings it into the model as something that you ought to do.

P: Hmm.

M: So, a different way of looking at things and really who are we to judge? Martin Seligman is God.

P & M: Laugh.

M: In the positive psychology world, laugh! Not that I mean to be offensive to anyone.

P: Oh, leave that to me. I’m much better at that than you.

M: Well, I apologise at least ‘cause I was potentially offensive.

P: Laugh.

M: Moving on. Moving on to Tal Ben-Shahar, who is a… He was a Harvard professor. He wrote the book ‘Happier’ and he has a model, so he’s legit.

P: Laugh.

M: And it is SPIRE model.

P: This is colourful.

M: Well, we can see something colourful.

P: We’ll put this in the show Notes for Leandra [producer].

M & P: Laugh.

P: I like this one, it’s got colours, laugh.

M: All right. So, the five elements of SPIRE are:

  • Spiritual,
  • Physical,
  • Intellectual,
  • Relational, and
  • Emotional.

P: Mmm.

M: And for spiritual, Tal is clear to say that there is evidence that having faith, people with faith tend to be happier.

However that doesn’t mean that you need faith in order for this pillar to be important to you.

P: Ok.

M: And really, what this is about is having a meaningful and mindful life. So are you… Is your soul content? Is how I would put it. For those of you who are not religious, are you at peace with who you are and where you are in the world? And again, is your soul content.

P: Mmm. Okay.

M: For P, Physical. Again, caring for the body and tapping into the mind-body connection.

So, Tal talks about whole being, well-being. So, is your entire body healthy? And he’s very much influenced by early philosophical writing but also eastern philosophy and talks very much about the connection between mind and body and how you can’t be healthy physically and not mentally and have well-being.

P: Yes.

M: And vice versa.

P: Yes, definitely and that’s basically my start in my happiness journey that came for me at a very young age. It’s that is interest in eastern philosophy and that combination of healthy body, healthy mind.

M: Mmm hmm. So, he also talks about the importance of all five of these elements in the SPIRE model and how they interact with each other. And sometimes you could do one activity that satisfies two or three of these elements in the model.

P: Finding the crossover?

M: Yeah.

P: They’re good ones to get into. Laugh.

M: Yeah, definitely.

P: Do ones that tick more than one box.

M: Yeah, exactly. Life’s busy. I don’t have time to do five new things.

P: Absolutely.

M: But I could do two new things if they cover all five of these elements.

P: There we go, yeah.

M: Yeah.

I, Intellectual and I love this.

M: And this is my go to. This is where I come back to, and I over invest.

P: Laugh.

M: This is my safe and happy place.

P: Yes.

M: So, this is engaging in deep learning or opening yourself up to new experiences.

P: Mmm.

M: So, for me one of the biggest rubs in my marriage was the first holiday we went on, and all my husband wanted to do was nothing.

P: Laugh.

M: And all I wanted to do was see everything, now!

P: Laugh. I’ve been there with you on a holiday, Muz.

M: Laugh.

P: I feel Francis’s pain. Five hours in Buckingham Palace.

M: So? You enjoyed it.

P: I enjoyed it. I did enjoy it.

M & P: Laugh.

P: But I can imagine how that would be challenging for someone who is not interested in Renaissance art. Laugh.

M: You can go back to the hotel, and they have a pool with cocktails.

P: Laugh.

M: So, Intellectual and definitely Tal in his teaching says that we tend to gravitate towards some of these more than others, so Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual.

The next one is Relational, otherwise known as relationships.

P: Yep.

M: And again, as we’ve said about nurturing those relationships that bring you happiness and joy.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And last one is Emotional. And again, this is about feeling all your emotions, so not hiding emotions. No emotions are wrong.

P: No. It is okay to be curled up heap on the floor, bawling your eyes out.

M: Absolutely.

P: Just don’t stay there.

M: Don’t stay there and understanding that all emotions are valid and important. It’s only behaviours that are right or wrong.

P: Yes. Oh, I like that Muz, well done.

M: Well, this is from Tal. I’m just repeating… Yeah, yeah. Smarter people came before us.

P & M: Laugh.

P: D’Oh!

M: Can’t claim it as my own this time, laugh. It’s not one of our pearls of wisdom.

P: Laugh.

M: And by feeling all your emotions and understanding how to manage yourself through those emotions in a constructive way, you can reach towards resilience and optimism.

P: Mmm. This comes back to a point that we made in one of our very earlier podcasts, where we talked about using precise words and using our adjectives to describe our emotions and be really specific about what it is that we’re feeling. So, are you feeling angry or are you feeling frustrated?

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, if you’re feeling frustrated, you can by being specific with your wording, you can come at a problem or an issue from a slightly more intellectual perspective and break it down to be even more direct and go ‘Oh, I’m not angry, I’m frustrated.’ That lessens the impact a little bit, puts you a bit more in control.

M: Labelling things, gets you out of your emotional brain and into your intellectual side of the brain and then helps you to move forward and create steps needed to unpack that.

P: Doesn’t put you at the mercy of your emotions.

M: Or, you know, have a tantrum on the floor. Whatever it is that you decide you want to do next. Whatever behaviour…

P: Hey, breaking mirrors is valid.

M: Ooh.

P: It’s really good externalisation of things. Just break a mirror and then –

M: Maybe not a mirror.  

P: Oh, it looks really good and it shatters! Laugh!

M: Oh, I don’t know. I’d prefer to kick something that is meant to be kicked like a punching bag.

P: Oh yeah, ok. Each to their own, laugh.

M: Laugh, true. Each to their own.

P: Laugh.

M: So, those are two models that are pretty, you know, popular models within the positive psychology realm. And really, this was just about sharing other ways to look at happiness.

P: Mmm.

M: So, ours isn’t necessarily the best, but we have a model. So, we are legit now too, laugh.

P: Laugh! Yay, us!

M: These people have PhDs, though, so I definitely recommend listening to them.

P: Sure.

M: But, there are different ways of organising what is essentially the same types of activities, and they’re all scientifically proven, you know backed with research. There’s a gazillion out now of different types of research into all the things that we talk about.

P: Mmm.

M: But what I would say is these are also really good frameworks to do a little self-assessment and check in against.

P: Mmm, yeah.

M: So, if I were coming off the back of this episode, Pete, I would pick one of these and just do a little check in. So, if you’re going to pick PERMA from Martin Seligman.

P: Yep.

M: You know, how much positive emotion have you had in the past month? And how much do you have coming up in the next month?

P: And have you made space for that?

M: Block something in or book a catch up for coffee or something, or a WebEx call if you’re in lockdown.

P: Yeah.

M: That kind of thing.

P: Yeah.

M: Engagement. Are you doing any activities you love? If not, are you trying to find activities you love? And there could be a test and learn in here as well. Or like me, I discovered writing early on and then lost it for a while. And I’ve rediscovered that recently.

P: Mmm.

M: Relationships, you know. Are you tending your garden?

P: Laugh.

M: Meaning, are you actually taking some time to give back or to work out ways to use your passions to help others or spend quality time with people you care about.

P: So important.

M: Be kind to others.

P: Mmm. Yeah, and putting time in place to be kind.

M: Yeah.

P: What’s your investment portfolio for your kindness? Ooh.

M: And that takes us to the A of PERMA. Are you spending time setting goals and looking at your accomplishments and achievements?

P: Mmm.

M: Are you putting those habits into practise?

P: Yes.

M: And again, if you’re going to use these any of the three models we’ve talked about today to do a little self-check in. Don’t go trying to climb a mountain first thing off the bat.

P: Yes, laugh.

M: Pick one small thing that you can change and then put it in your diary. So, like me, I think I mentioned last episode that I started running on the treadmill every lunchtime.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: It’s in my diary and blocked every lunchtime, Monday to Friday, I do a run.

P: You’ve got to make space for it. And if you don’t write them down often you don’t follow them through and if they’re in the back of your mind. You’ve got to bring them to the forefront of your mind. And that means putting it out there, putting it on your mirror, the makeup mirror that you look at first thing in the morning, in your phone, put a reminder in your phone, ‘Have you had 10 minutes of mindfulness today?’

M: Yes.

P: And if you haven’t made it a priority, make sure that you schedule that into your day or into your weekly routine.

M: Yep.

P: Yeah.

M: So, challenge is have a look at these three models. Find one that works for you. Do a self-check in, schedule one thing that you’re going to change for the next week and lock it in forever more into your calendar, and then put a reminder for a month from now to do the same thing with a new habit.

P: Yeah.

M: It takes about a month to build a habit. So, let your first one settle in a bit and then put a reminder in for your second (or) next one that you want to really tackle.

P: And doing this for someone else is actually a really good way to keep you accountable.

M: Mmm.

P: Like any good habit being accountable for your habits and just telling someone this is what I’m aiming to do, and having them hold you to account is a really good self-check if you like, or –

M: It’s the basis for the success of weight watchers.

P: True? Yes.

M: Mmm hmm. And on that note, we’re going to call it.

P: Laugh.

M: We’re over time again, our poor production person, every week is like ‘Ahh!’

P: Sorry, Leandra.

M & P: Laugh!

M: All right, well, wishing you a happy week and we’ll see you again next time.

P: Bye!

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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What Makes a Job Meaningful and Why That Matters

by

Andrew Bryce, University of Sheffield

One of the most iconic memories of the first lockdown of the pandemic is the sound of applause echoing across our cities and towns each week as the people of Britain said thank you to the NHS and all key workers doing essential work in challenging times. That “clap for carers” reveals a lot about how we value the work done by ourselves and others. Work is not just something we do to put food on the table. It does – or at least can – mean much more than that.

Work provides many things over and above the monthly pay cheque: status and identity, community and social connection, doing tasks that we find stimulating, and the opportunity to make a positive contribution to society. All of these things make work feel meaningful.

My research explores how paid work is experienced as meaningful compared to the other activities people do in their everyday lives. I also identify the types of job in which people experience the most meaningfulness and explore how these results can be explained by the particular qualities of different occupations.

The research uses the American Time Use Survey, which collects data on how people in the US spend their time. The survey asks people not only to report what activities they did in a given day, but how meaningful they felt these activities were on a scale of 0-6.

For the average American, work is not the most meaningful thing they do in their everyday lives. In fact, it is significantly less meaningful than many other activities classified in the survey, including caring for family members and others, volunteering, sport and exercise, and religious and spiritual activities. However, work is significantly more meaningful than shopping, housework and leisure activities.

What Jobs are the Most Meaningful?

This picture changes when we take into account the type of paid work that people do. People in community and social service occupations (which includes social workers, counsellors and clergy) experience the most meaningfulness in their work.

The other top-ranking occupations are: healthcare practitioner and technical occupations; education, training and library occupations; and, perhaps surprisingly to some, legal occupations. More broadly, people working in the non-profit sector and self-employed people report significantly more meaningfulness in their work than those employed in private sector for-profit firms.

These results suggest that jobs where people have more control over their work tend to be more meaningful. However, the type of good you produce also matters. Jobs where the main output is helping others with important aspects of their lives (for example, their health, education or legal problems) are also the most meaningful.

I found similar results for the UK, using the Annual Population Survey and the Skills and Employment Survey. There is a significant correlation between occupations deemed worthwhile and those where there is a high level of organisational commitment. This suggests that employees who believe in what their organisation is doing and are committed to the mission of their employer are also those who find their work meaningful.

Meaningful Does not Always Mean Pleasurable

Another interesting finding from the American data is that you do not have to enjoy something to find it meaningful. Even though their work is meaningful, people working in the health and education professions are ranked lower than average in terms of how pleasurable their work is relative to their other daily activities.

More strikingly, on this indicator for “pleasure” (which combines assessments of happiness, sadness, stress, tiredness and pain), the legal profession is by far the lowest-ranked occupation of all. This implies that work can be difficult, stressful or tiring but at the same time meaningful.

Nevertheless, community and social services occupations are both the most meaningful and the most pleasurable of all occupations, showing that it is possible to have the best of both worlds.

Why we Clap for Carers but Don’t Pay for Them

As we emerge from the pandemic and life gets back to normal, the clap for carers will soon become a fading memory. But what have we learned about the true value of work?

In 2021, the UK government was widely criticised for offering a 1% pay rise to NHS staff in England and freezing pay for other public sector workers. The prime minister cited budgetary constraints, but maybe there are more basic laws of supply and demand at play. When work is meaningful, then that becomes a reward in itself and generous pay offers are not prioritised to motivate people and retain staff. In contrast, less meaningful work has no such intrinsic value, so a monetary reward is needed to get people to do these jobs.

This of course leads to the perverse situation where the most socially useful jobs are those that are paid the least. It may seem unfair but it’s the reality of how the labour market works.

Related articles: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life: Ikigai

Andrew Bryce, University Teacher, University of Sheffield

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Self-Care, Are You Doing it Right? (E75)

by

Happiness for Cynics podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about how self-care has become a buzzword with bad repercussions and ask the question, are you doing it right?

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

M: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

P: Laugh.

M: It’s round one, Pete.

P: Oh dear, I don’t look forward to these ones and where Marie’s all, you know motivated to strip me bare of any –

M: Laugh!

P: – challenges that I might have. This is going to get ugly, folks.

M: Laugh. So Pete, you have the topic for today’s show.

P: I have the floor, laugh.

M: And I am in the other corner, laugh. It’s like high school debate team. I’m just arguing for the sake of the other argument. You know, sake of the other side.

P: As we know, in terms of competitiveness. We know that I’m a competitive person, but I am nothing compared to the onslaught that is Marie Skelton when she’s motivated.

M: Laugh.

P: So, gird your loins people! Laughter!

M: Yep.

P: Today, we are talking about, are you doing self-care, right?

M: No!

P: Laugh.

M: Or am I yes? Am I the affirmative?

P: Let, me put my argument forward first, Laugh.

M: Laugh, put your argument forward.

P: Ahh, pressure.

M & P: Laugh.

P: So, I’ve been doing some research on the social media. I came across this rather wonderful article by a woman called Brianna Wiest, and she’s in Philadelphia, and she is a self-awareness and self-understanding author. She’s written several books in the early 20-tens and early 2020’s, Essays That Will Change The Way You Think (2016),  The Mountain Is You (2020) and Ceremony (2021). It’s an interesting concept because she talks about self-care is often a very un-beautiful thing.

M: Mmm.

P: So, Marie and I are both proponents of the whole hygge concept that getting yourself into pyjamas, having a nice cup of tea, watching some Disney or something indulgent is really fantastic. We both agree on that, yep?

M: We even wrote a book on self-care Pete?

P & M: Laughter.

M: Why don’t we just go back a little bit further? Laugh.

P: Ok, we agree that things that are a little bit indulgent are good for us to do because they do contribute to our happiness, and it is good to reward yourself. Remember that phrase because we’re going to come back to that. It is good to reward yourself.

M: Hmm.

P: What I like about what Brianna is talking about is that there’s a certain part of self-care that is not the sitting in the bath having a chocolate cake frenzy and eating doughnuts. That’s not necessarily what you need to do to have self-care. Neither is it going on a shopping spree and spending lots of money on your credit card or indulging in over-eating snacks.

M: You’re really going hard on the doughnuts.

P: I’m going hard on it, yeah, but we’ve got to give you some fodder here Marie.

M: Laugh. Mmm hmm. So, she’s saying it’s not any of those things and it shouldn’t be any of those things?

P: It’s not the only part of self-care, and I’ll just paraphrase here. I’ll try and read out… try and surmise the article and what she talks about.

The opening statement is that self-care is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine, cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution? So, we agree on that. We’ve talked about that before. It’s about doing the hard work, putting things in place to make sure you address the issues rather than just going, ‘I’m going to tell myself to be happy.’

M: No, disagree. [Fail noise]

P: Ok.

M: Round One has started! Laugh.

P: Laugh, unpack this. Go for it, Muz!

M: I think that self-care is about listening to your body and your mind and your emotions and giving it what it needs and what it needs doesn’t have to be boring, hard, you know it, it’s framing it differently.

So doing your finances isn’t shitty and horrible. It’s, you know, looking after yourself. So, I think it’s a framing thing for me more than is it actually… like semantics, maybe we could argue.

P: Yeah, ok I’ll give you that.

M: I think that listening to your body and your emotions and all of that and going, I need to stop my diet and have five doughnuts –

P: Yep.

M: – and feel guilty about it and next time only have three.

P: Laugh.

M: And feel guilty about it next time, maybe have two when I’m needing that outlet that sugar rush or whatever it is on knowing that those adjustments and behaviour come sans-guilt and judgement and that we’re all growing and learning.

P: Yep.

M: I think that self-care is about when you’re feeling depleted in any way, as happens so often. Being kind to yourself and listening to what your body needs.

P: I definitely agree with the being kind to yourself.

M: Sometimes… The 1% means overindulgence, right? But the things you’re talking about is not. I wouldn’t say self-care is doing your finances, eating healthy, doing your exercise. That should be a day-to-day how we prioritise living.

P: I agree.

M: Not the stuff we do on top that we need to ask special permission from our bosses to leave early to go the gym… or any of the other things we shouldn’t be excusing all of those other behaviours as secondary to work or family, or you know, whatever else, your partner, it should be up there and just as important.

P: Yeah.

M: And this is the mind shift that I’m waiting to happen at the moment that all of those activities that make life worth living and make life happy and that are critical to our mental health should not be second class citizens in our schedule.

P: Yes, one of the other things she brings up is that becoming the person you know you want to and are meant to be.

M: Yep.

P: And someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life but not escape from it.

M: Yes. It’s not escaping, it’s just going ‘Oh, I’ve had a crappy day, I got fired from my job and I don’t know how I’m gonna pay next month’s rent.’

P: Yep.

M: Life’s good apart from that, but today I’m eating the cake.

P: Yep, laugh.

M: And maybe having that extra glass of wine.

P: Yeah, true.

M: Yeah.

P: And this comes back to rewarding yourself and the way that we choose to reward ourselves. There is an escapism in having the doughnut, having the bath, having the red wine. And that’s, I guess my question is, is that self-care? Or is that just a momentary reprieve?

M: Again, If your definition like mine of self-care, is that it’s listening to what your body needs.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: Then it is self-care, I think. Because for me, eating well, not drinking too much, taking care of your finances, being physically active, journaling, doing gratitude, practicing love, all of that stuff is how you should live.

P: Mmm.

M: Self-care is above that, and beyond that, and amongst all of those ways that you should live there are… We’ve talked about negative affect and positive affect, and I think it’s when those spikes hit, where your up or down, where self-care comes in.

P: Yep.

M: I’ve been working on a project that today has finished!

P: Oh, congrats!

M: And for the last month I’ve been exhausted just trying to get to this day. But I’ve booked a holiday for the end of this month and that self-care for me. I need that time at the end of this month to unwind, decompress and during that time I’m not going off to theme parks and travelling the world. Not that any of those are options for me at the moment.

P & M: Laughter.

M: I intend on going somewhere really quiet where I can write and read.

P: Yeah, right.

M: And that’s self-care. That’s special.

P: It is. You’re right, you’re absolutely right as well Marie. I don’t want, I don’t want to sound like I’m saying don’t reward yourself because we know that reward is important.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: And we’ve got people like Gretchen Rubin, I think she’s one of your mates, Muz.

M & P: Laugh!

M: I wish she was one of my mates! I’ve mentioned Gretchen before, that’s probably where you got that, laugh.

P: Yeah, laugh. She talks about the importance of reward, the importance of the little treat, the receiving of the surprise gift or watching a funny video gained in self-control.

“The secret of adulthood, give more to myself so I can ask more from myself.” [Gretchen Rubin]

M: Yes.

P: I like that quite from her.

M: So, self-care is looking after yourself so that you can give more, be more, do more, etc.

P: Mmm. And you want to keep going into those periods where you are working hard because you know that there’s a little reward in the end.

M: Or a big reward?

P: Big reward, yeah.

M: There’s satisfaction in kicking these goals and getting stuff done.

P: Yeah. Susan Biali, who is also a medical doctor, also talks about reward and she talks about it in terms of the celebratory treats that will enhance us and not make us regret.

M: Mmm.

P: What Susan Biali talks about is that we need to choose our rewards carefully to make sure that they’re contributing and they’re not detracting. So, they’re not something that we’re going to regret later on and so that could be about having a reward that is proactive in terms of reinforcing what you’ve done.

M: So, there’s many models for happiness, but we’ve talked about relationships, purpose and meaning and healthy mind body. And I’ve been letting part of my healthy mind and body down recently, which is physical exercise.

P: Right.

M: I’ve been over indexing on a few other things, so now that we’re in lock down, I’ve got my treadmill and I’ve made myself a little deal.

P: Have you given your treadmill a name?

M & P: Laughter!

M: It does need a name, hey?

P: Laugh, Rupert?

M: I’m going to have to think about that, laugh. The way that I am motivating myself is that I can only watch Disney when I’m on the treadmill.

P: Laugh, [Clap].

M: So, I’m watching Raya the Dragon at the moment.

P: Oh! I really want to watch that too.

M: And if I want to get through it, I have to keep running, laugh.

P: Yep, like. There we go, that’s a great reward.

M & P: Laughter.

P: Oh, fantastic. Love it. The interesting thing about rewards as well is that, now Gretchen talks about this in her book as well, The Happiness Project, and she talks about the difficulties in setting rewards that may not be a good aspect, and one of the things she brings up is that the attainment of the goal and the reward marks a finishing line on the finishing line marks a stopping point.

So, you could have developed this wonderful habit of doing the treadmill. But then, if you reward yourself with something and you go, okay, well, that’s done never doing that again.

M: Then you break your own good habit. Oh, that’s a shame.

P: It’s a shame, but it’s something to keep in mind that you don’t want the reward to write you off because you want to keep that good habit going true?

M: Mostly depending on the habit. Yes, eventually, you’ll want to finish studying.

P: Yes, absolutely.

M: Laugh, for instance.

P: Yep, I agree.

M: I probably should not be aiming to finish running.

P: Laugh.

M: It’s a healthy habit I want to maintain.

P & M: Laugh.

M: Yep, so the other thing I’ve done for that. So, I take my lunch break and I make sure I take my lunch break and I’m not allowed to eat my lunch until I’ve done my run.

P: Oh, that’s good.

M: So, that’s the other reward.

P: Yeah.

M: And the great thing that many people before me have found, I’m not new to finding this is that the more I do it, the more I then choose healthy food options when I go to lunch, and you know –

P: Yeah, cause you’re reinforcing [healthy habits].

M: – it has flow on effect.

P: Yep definitely. There’s one other thing that Gretchen Rubin talks about in terms of rewards, and that’s the decision. So, reward requires a decision. I.e. Do I deserve this reward.

M: Mmm.

P: And every time we make that decision, there is the opportunity to make the wrong choice. There are too many loopholes to choose from. When you have that decision in place that we have an opt out if you like, it’s like, ‘well bugger it, I won’t go for a run, cause I don’t want to watch Disney anymore.’

M: Laugh.

P: You can fool yourself into making bad choices, even with a reward.

M: We are so good at fooling ourselves, aren’t we?

P: Yes, yes!

M: Damn human brains!

P: Laugh! So, when thinking about rewards and this comes back to the article by Brianna Wiest. What I like about it is, self-care is not just about giving yourself all the indulgences. There is a little bit of work in there, and there are sensible choices to make in terms of reward and pleasure and what to reinforce for good self-care.

M: Mmm.

P: And part of that as you were saying Marie, and I think we agree on this one is part of that self-care is looking after the body, looking after your relationships and having some purpose and that can be a little bit of hard work.

M: And if your day today is not balanced or you’re out of whack in some way, self-care is about understanding those things in your day to day enough.

P: Yes.

M: And listening to yourself enough to be able to identify when you need to change things. So, when you need to just go to bed earlier, that is self-care to me.

P: Yeah.

M: You know. For me it’s not the day to day, it is more the exceptions.

P: Mmm. There’s a quote here that I read from Brianna’s article,

“It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself.” – [Brianna Wiest]

M: Yes.

P: Now that’s diving a little bit deeper into addressing issues and so forth and trying to look at your lifestyle and go one of the bad influences. She also talks about the toxic nature – that may not be the best word to use – of this internal pressure of self-care. Like ‘Oh, I better be looking good, or I better do this, or I better do that.’

M: Everything is a to do list!

P: Yes!

M: We’ve talked about this before. All of this stuff that is meant to make us happier can just make people think, ‘holly molly how am I supposed to fit all this into my week.

P: Laugh, yeah.

M: Ahh, it can add more stress.

P: Absolutely.

M: Yeah.

P: And that’s, maybe that’s what she’s talking about in terms of the ugly side of it. There’s a little bit of stuff about being dishevelled and doing your ironing so that you can go to work the next day and look decent and presentable for a professional interaction.

M: No way! That is not self-care!

P: No?

M: Nope, round two. Here we go.

P & M: Laugh!

P: Elaborate, Marie?

M: That’s living life, doing your ironing that is life. Doing your finances –

P: Ok.

M: – doing your personal hygiene.

P: Laugh!

M: Physical exercise, eating well, sleeping well, all of that is life, I think, and it is a juggle and It’s not easy. I don’t want it to be a seen as self-care anymore. I want it to be seen as skills that we teach kids. I want them to know how to be mindful and practise meditation and calm their minds and turn off the busy noise of the 21st century.

P: Yep.

M: I want them to understand how to control their emotions and when not to control their emotions as well. I want people to understand that life is not just about working.

P: Mmm.

M: What a sad, sad thing for your life just to be about –

P: Oh, absolutely.

M: – getting a house with a picket fence and two point whatever children –

P: Two point four.

M: – and a partner and entering the rat race and staying there till you retire. And then, I don’t know, maybe while you still can you might get on a cruise once a year, right?

P: Laugh.

M: Like that’s not life. That’s not living, that’s not life. And that’s not how to have a satisfying life.

P: It’s the checklist approach, isn’t it? It’s the tick, tick.

M: It’s the capitalist approach.

P: Ahh. Ohh.

M: It’s the consumer, you know, and you want bigger and better things along the way.

P: Mmm, mmm.

M: Pretty much.

P: Yeah, consumer self-care.

M: No, that’s the consumer approach that you and I went through school learning maths and English and all of that in order to get a good job so that we could be contributing members of society. And that meant following that script.

P: Yep.

M: I think that we haven’t to date done a good enough job of also telling kids, here’s how you also get satisfaction out of your job and here’s how you get happiness out of your life along the way and those things don’t need to stop or disappear.

P: No.

M: But there’s so much more in there and they’re not add-ons. They are not the icing on the cake.

P: Mmm.

M: They’re essential pieces for our existential health.

P: Wow, wow! Laugh!

M: They’re essential pieces of life. It’s how to live life, and that’s what we haven’t taught people to date very well.

P: So, they’re part of the recipe?

M: Absolutely. We need to add them in, and we need to stop apologising for it.

P: Oooh!

M: We need to stop as I said before, feeling bad for being 10 minutes late to work because we got caught up at the gym finishing a set. And, you know, we’ve just added all this stress and we’re 10 minutes late and no one notices. Just stay 10 minutes late at the end, who cares?

P: Laugh.

M: A lot of the time, obviously there are some places where it matters. If you’re 10 minutes late.

P: Yeah.

M: But we need to stop apologising for wanting to go see a kid’s theatre production or anything, going to get a massage and taking a long lunch.

P: Mmm.

M: If you’ve got the flexibility in your work to do that.

P: Mmm.

M: That is, that is living and it is a valuable and needed part of life and it’s not an add-on it’s not tack-on and I don’t think that it should be self-care. I think self-care is when all of that is just a bit out of whack or out of balance, and you need to take extra care.

P: Right. I like that, I definitely agree with that point.

M: Hold on, we’re not meant to be agreeing. Laugh.

P: I know, but damn it, we just, we always get to this point, Laugh!

M: This is the problem when you have two besties on a podcast.

P: Laugh!

So, I was meant to be having a relatively free week this week, and next week I was supposed to be going on a holiday, my one-week holiday for my 12 months of the year, I was going to go up to Byron and have a little week off.

M: [Singsong voice] Someone sounds a little bitter, laugh.

P: Oh, I’m not bitter… much. Laugh.

M: Right? Who wouldn’t be bitter? Let’s be really clear here, this sucks.

P: Laugh.

M: You’re in lock down.

P: Yes.

M: It’s not happening.

P: I was sort of looking at my diary going well, I’m not allowed to go to Byron, I’m not allowed to leave my house. I’m not allowed to even go to the gym. Which brings me a lot of pleasure and a lot of enjoyment.

M: Oh.

P: I’m not allowed to go for a drive in my car. It was so sunny the other day and I was in my car driving to work, which I was allowed to do because apparently, I’m essential services. And I just had the top down and I had music on, and it was sunny. And I just wanted to keep going. I just wanted to drive to the mountains like I had his utter urge. And I couldn’t do it.

M: And it’s winter, so you can’t even tend your rooftop garden, laugh.

P: Laugh, true. Well, I could have on that day because it was sunny. It was a momentary burst of sunshine.

M: It is Sydney.

P: Yeah.

M: Which isn’t really winter.

P: Yeah, we get like six weeks of winter. The point was that I looked at my diary for next week and, well, I can’t do any of the lovely things that I was going to do for myself. So, I may as well just open up my diary for work because I’m allowed to work. And I thought, oh my god this is horrible.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Like the one thing that I’m allowed to do is to actually work. So, Tuesday and Monday every week we’re really busy and I realised that I’d actually booked myself entirely out with work obligations because there was nothing left that I could do, and I thought ‘I don’t want this.’

M: You need to do nothing every now and then too.

P: Exactly, yeah. And it was a really realisation that me the free spirit is all I’m about, you know, all the buying into all this stuff on doing it naturally and I was really confronted with it with the lock down experience.

M: Lock down just makes us question everything, doesn’t it?

P: It does. It definitely does and that can be a helpful thing.

M: And healthy.

P: And questioning, re-questioning, re-prioritising, finding yourself.

M: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” – [Socrates]

P: Oh, who said that?

M: I have no idea, I can’t remember.

P: Laugh!

M: I’m so bad.

P: Laugh!

So, one thing before we wrap up here, I want to also address the idea that self-care means being the hero of your own life, not the victim.

M: Yes. No one likes a… Wait, I’m taking that back. That’s horrible.

P: Laugh! This is, again what Brianna was talking about was that it means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from.

I think this is super important and this aligns exactly with what you’re saying Muz.

M: No.

P: Oh, oh. It doesn’t?

M: Because she’s still going with the idea that self-care is the add-on, still go on it’s a valid point.

P: Oh, no. I don’t know. I don’t think she is, because I think she’s talking about building a life, building the recipe that has parts of the self-care paradigm in its such as doing your exercises, eating well all that sort of stuff, indulging in a small reward at the end of a project. Treating yourself to a theatre experience, for example, when you’ve had six weeks of really tough work obligations.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: But it’s also about taking care of things so that you don’t need therapy from your own lifestyle. If you’re pushing hard and going for those tick list items, and it’s creating drama and creating stress, that is just so all-encompassing that you need to take a week off of the end of it because you enforced this on yourself. That’s not helpful.

M: I think it’s reality though.

P: To a certain degree.

M: To a certain degree, yes. There is a line, absolutely. If you’re a serial over-committer then assess your life and take something out.

P: Yep.

M: Look at what you can find or change or whatever. Find?

P: She actually mentioned that as well.

M: 21st century living is not smooth, it’s not linear are and it’s not predictable. And there will always be times where a well-oiled machine will break down.

P: True.

M: Just like your story for next week, right?

P: Mmm.

M: You could not have predicted a lock down.

P: Yeah, yeah absolutely.

M: You had planned for a healthy mental break from your studies. And it’s not happening. And you know, you’ve had to go through a little bit of self-exploration to work out what to do instead that is going to set you up for success next semester. Again you still need that break.

P: Yeah. So, to wrap it up, sometimes we need to be a bit more mindful of the things that were involving in our day to day life. We need to build that recipe that includes those elements of the self-care, whatever they want to be, and that in finding our ways of rewarding ourselves, we need to be mindful of the types of rewards. Make sure your rewards will invigorate rather than burn you out or be detrimental to your life.

M: Oh, I like that. We’re going to end there.

P: I got an agreement! Yes! I scored! One for Petey! Laugh!

M: On that note I’m going to wish you a happy week ahead and we’ll see you then.

P: Laugh, bye.

M: Bye.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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Top positive psychology research of 2021 (so far)

by

sunflower

Top positive psychology research of 2021

There is so much research happening around the world into what is arguably the most important question you can ask: how can I be happy? As global mental health stats continue to decline, particularly during COVID, this is good news. There’s now a raft of actionable science-backed research you can apply in your life to take you from simply languishing in life, to thriving.

While the rest of this article is a catalogue of the top positive psychology research in 2021 so far, I would like to acknowledge one other piece of sad news from this year: Edward Diener, Psychologist Known as Dr. Happiness, Dies at 74. Since the 1980s, Ed Diener was recognised as a leader in measuring what he called “subjective well-being” and his passing is a loss for not only his family and friends, but the entire positive psychology community.

In this article, we take a look at the top positive psychology research of 2021, so far. Let me know in the comments about how you are using the latest research to achieve a happier, healthier life!

January

Frequent travel could make you 7% happier (Science Daily). People dreaming of travel post-COVID-19 now have some scientific data to support their wanderlust. A new study shows frequent travellers are happier with their lives than people who don’t travel at all.

Research suggests positive forward-thinking safeguards mental health during lockdowns (Mental Health Today). We all might feel nostalgic for a time when we weren’t confined to our homes or had rules imposed upon us in public spaces; however new research from the University of Surrey suggests that if we forget about 2020 or even our current lockdown state in 2021 and look forward to the future, our mental wellbeing will presently be more resilient.

Learning Boosts Happiness, New Study Suggests (Sci News). New research from University College London suggests that how we learn about the world around us can be more important for how we feel than rewards we receive directly.

Study suggests link between word choices and extraverts (Science Daily). A study by a team of Nanyang Technological University, Singapore (NTU Singapore) psychologists has found a link between extraverts and their word choices.

Why living in the future, rather than the past, is key to coping with lockdowns – new research (The Conversation).  Researcher in the UK recruited 261 people during the first lockdown in the UK (March-May 2020) to explore the impact of the three different time orientations on wellbeing.

Being around birds linked to higher happiness levels (World Economic Forum). Greater bird biodiversity can make people more joyful, according to a study published in Ecological Economics. The happiest Europeans are those who see the most bird species in their day-to-day life. 

Research shows positive effect of street trees on mental health (De Montfort University). Daily contact with trees in the street may significantly reduce the risk of depression and the need for antidepressants, according to new research by a De Montfort University Leicester (DMU) academic.

Heading outdoors keeps lockdown blues at bay (Science Daily). A new study has found that spending time outdoors and switching off devices, such as smartphones, is associated with higher levels of happiness during a period of COVID-19 restrictions.

February

Money matters to happiness—perhaps more than previously thought (Penn Today). Research shows that contrary to previous influential work, there’s no dollar-value plateau at which money’s importance lessens. One potential reason: Higher earners feel an increased sense of control over life.

Happiness and life expectancy by main occupational position among older workers: Who will live longer and happy? (ScienceDirect) We show that women in routine jobs were systematically the ones who were expected to live shorter and unhappier. Men and women in managerial positions lived longer, but only men record more years with happiness.

Why being resilient won’t necessarily make you happy new research (The Conversation). Resilience featured at the core of the World Health Organization’s policy framework for health and well-being in 2020. This states that “building resilience is a key factor in protecting and promoting health and wellbeing”. Similar statements have also been made by wellbeing researchers. Despite this, most resilience research focuses on how to help individuals avoid negative outcomes, rather than achieve positive outcomes. Very few who investigate resilience actually assess wellbeing.

Happiness really does come for free (Science Daily). Economic growth is often prescribed as a sure way of increasing the well-being of people in low-income countries, but a study led by McGill and the Institute of Environmental Sciences and Technologies at the Universitat Autònoma de Barcelona (ICTA-UAB) suggests that there may be good reason to question this assumption.

20 surprising, science-backed health benefits of music (USA Today). Research suggests that music not only helps us cope with pain — it can also benefit our physical and mental health in numerous other ways. Read on to learn how listening to tunes can ramp up your health.

Mental Health Plays a Role in Treating and Preventing Heart Disease (VeryWell) Researchers are stressing the important links between your mental health and heart health. And they’re calling on clinicians to screen and address mental health when seeking to treat heart conditions.

COVID-19’s Impact on Mental Health Hasn’t Been All Bad (Psychology Today). The COVID-19 pandemic has caused mental distress, but it has also strengthened people’s mental health in many ways. New research shows how the crisis has increased mental health through three main processes.

Study uncovers a psychological factor that predict one’s motivation to boost happiness (PsyPost). A group of researchers from Seoul National University and Korea University have found evidence that “essentializing” happiness—i.e., attributing one’s happiness to immutable factors like genetics—renders individuals less likely to adopt behaviors intended to (and in many cases, proven to) increase happiness.

To Get Through Tough Times Turn Down Your Pessimism (Psychology Today). New research shows the value of remaining positive when things look negative. There is a personality trait that can explain this tendency to overlook the negative and find reason to celebrate each day as it comes. Optimism, from this perspective, reflects not some delusional form of denial, but a stable quality that allows people to feel genuinely hopeful no matter what’s going on around them.

Emotional Well-Being Under Conditions of Lockdown (Springer) The coronavirus pandemic and related lockdown measures present serious threats to emotional well-being worldwide. Researchers examined the extent to which being outdoors (vs. indoors), the experience of loneliness, and screen-time are associated with emotional well-being during the COVID-19 pandemic.

March

How Trip Planning and Happiness Are Directly Correlated (Psychology Today). Research reveals that planning future travel may boost mood and mindset.

A Tale of Three Countries: What is the Relationship Between COVID‐19, Lockdown and Happiness? (Wiley Online Library). Though lockdowns do minimise the physical damage caused by the virus, there may also be substantial damage to population well‐being. 

Does Volunteering Make Us Happier, or Are Happier People More Likely to Volunteer? Addressing the Problem of Reverse Causality When Estimating the Wellbeing Impacts of Volunteering (Springer Link). New research shows that volunteering does indeed make people measurably happier.

Is Awareness of Strengths Intervention Sufficient to Cultivate Wellbeing and Other Positive Outcomes? (Springer Link). A new study shows that students who reflected on strengths for a 5-week period prior to exams prevented the surfacing of negative emotions and distress, as well as a decline in wellbeing due to the impending examination period. The intervention also enhanced feelings of optimism about the future.

Mental Health Declining During COVID, But Not For Regular Church Attenders (Theravive). A recent Gallup study reveals a positive connection between regular church attendance and a positive self-evaluation of one’s mental health. I invited experts to give their opinions on these findings and what it is about church attendance that contributes to positive mental health.

Happiness of centenarians a severely neglected area of research (Mirage). A systematic review by researchers at the Centre for Healthy Brain Ageing (CHeBA), UNSW Sydney has highlighted the need for clearer definitions of ‘happiness’, ‘life satisfaction’ and ‘positive affect’ in centenarians. This is the first systematic review to summarise the literature on the subjective wellbeing of this unique age group.

Forget what you think happiness is (Wall Street Journal). Think you know what it means to be happy? Think again. Scientists are learning how to better measure and improve happiness, as the pandemic forces many to question what brings them joy. In the future, some experts believe, people will embrace a more complex definition of happiness that focuses less on uninterrupted bliss and involves everything from a person’s environment to exercises that train the brain in ways to be happy.

How watching TV in lockdown can be good for you — according to science (Salon). Many mental health organizations have proposed strategies to protect mental health, such as exercising, sleeping well and enjoying nature. This may make us assume that watching TV is ultimately bad for our mental wellbeing. But there is evidence to suggest that watching TV can also be good for us – if we go about it the right way.

One team is redefining how the world measures happiness, for the better (Inverse). First released in 2012, the World Happiness Report aims to both quantify and analyze well-being around the world. Each year, it generates press coverage because of its ranking of the world’s happiest countries — typically Nordic countries like Finland and Denmark top the charts.

Women reported decreased happiness during COVID-19 pandemic: Study (ZEE5). A recent study found that during the COVID-19 pandemic women, especially mothers, spent more time on tasks such as childcare and household chores than men. In turn, time spent completing household chores was linked to lower well-being and decreased happiness during the pandemic.

Why Older People Managed to Stay Happier Through the Pandemic (New York Times).New surveys over the last year show that the ability to cope improves with age.

Australia ‘most expensive country in the world to be happy,’ study finds (DMarge) Researchers at Purdue University in the United States have come up with a metric called ‘income satiation’ – basically, the point at which you have enough money to be happy.

April

Degrees of happiness? Formal education does not lead to greater job satisfaction (Science Daily).  Education is considered one of the most critical personal capital investments. But formal educational attainment doesn’t necessarily pay off in job satisfaction, according to new research from the University of Notre Dame.

Happiness can be learned through meditation, philosophy and training (Medical Xpress). Is it possible to learn to be happier? Well, it seems it is—at least according to a scientific study coordinated by the University of Trento and carried out in collaboration with Sapienza University of Rome, now published in Frontiers in Psychology.

Make mine a micro-job! Why working one day a week is the secret of happiness (The Guardian). Working only one day a week is the secret of happiness, according to researchers at the University of Cambridge.

Do you ever struggle to overcome a bad mood? Scientists have finally figured out why this happens (News24). In a new study on brain activity led by University of Miami psychologists, researchers explain why some of these emotional experiences persist. According to their research, how a person’s brain evaluates fleeting negative stimuli may influence their long-term psychological well-being.

The unsung secret to stability and happiness during the pandemic (ZDNet). It’s been a hard year, but at least many people have found a reliable way to reduce stress and increase happiness. Netflix is great and exercise is important, but music, it turns out, has made a positive difference in the lives of many during an often-bleak and perpetually uncertain pandemic year.

How Life Could Get Better (or Worse) After COVID (Greater Good Magazine). Fifty-seven scientists make predictions about potential positive and negative consequences of the pandemic.

Want a Happier Workplace? Studies Say the Best Companies Do These 5 Things Every Single Day (Inc.). It will not only make employees happy, it will also increase their productivity.

UK workforce finds happiness in ability to work from anywhere (Computer Weekly). Study finds 44% of UK workers consider the ability to work remotely as a driver of happiness and 61% would support government policies aimed at the widespread adoption of ‘hybrid’ working practices.

Scientists explore the source of well-being and happiness (ZJU University). Serotonin, or 5-hydroxytryptamine (5-HT), is a messenger molecule that produces a sense of well-being and happiness and is therefore also known as the “happy hormone”. However, the biological mechanism as to how 5-HT generates a sense of well-being has yet to be deciphered.

How has WFH impacted employee happiness? results by sector, revealed (HRD). If there’s one thing we can all agree on about 2020/21, it’s that most of us have never spent so much time at home. But how has working from home (WFH) affected us? Expert Insolvency Practitioners, Hudson Weir, polled 3,500 employees across the country to find out how well we have taken to it…

Social comparisons with similar people determine income’s effect on happiness (Phys.org). Researchers have found that in states where incomes were relatively equal, individuals’ happiness was affected less by their incomes because their economic positions were less clearly defined, making social comparisons less meaningful.

May 

Can Online Psychology Classes Increase Well-Being? (Psychology Today). A study found that participants in online psychology courses saw increases in well-being from their baseline measures. If these classes have long-term benefits, they could become reliable public health interventions.

8 Mix-and-Match Ingredients for a Tailored Be-Well Plan (Psychology Today). A new systematic review and meta-analysis of well-being studies identified 8 core psychological interventions that delivered positive results. The researchers found, though, that no one approach was best, and encouraged clinicians and individuals to “mix and match” strategies. 

Curiosity and happiness go hand in hand (The Philadelphia Inquirer). As Einstein said: The important thing is to never stop questioning. Recent research suggests that consistent curiosity goes hand in hand with happiness. 

Lockdown has had a positive effect on some people’s mental health, study reveals (GentSide). Researchers from the University of Manchester have found that lockdown brought forth a sense of relief for those who struggled with pre-existing depression. 

If You Want to Be Happy, Try to Make Someone Else Happy (Greater Good Berkeley). What if happiness comes from aiming to make others happy, instead of doing nice things for yourself? That is exactly what a recent study found. 

How to Draw On Your Psychological Resources (Psychology Today). An international team of psychologists has explored various ways individuals can help alleviate the pandemic’s massive psychological toll – with an arsenal of researched-backed skills, states, and competencies that can help us buffer against stress, bolster mental health, and build new capacities. 

3 Reasons Real-Life Social Support Is Best for Mental Health (Psychology Today). Many people rely on social media platforms for social support. New research suggests that social media social support (SMSS) doesn’t have a negative impact on mental health. However, real-life social support (RLSS) can reduce anxiety, depression, and loneliness; RLSS has a positive effect on mental health.

The impact of staff happiness on customer service (Convenience and Impulse Retailing). Three-quarters or 79 per cent of Australian casual workers say their happiness at work directly impacts on the customer experience they can deliver.

Happiness statistics 2021 (Finder.com). Data reveals children, financial security and a good Internet connection make Aussies happy.

June

So Happy Fur You: Elmhurst Research Links Pet Spending to Joy (Elmhurst University). In findings published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, Elmhurst University faculty and students showed that a person’s happiness can be affected by purchasing a gift for their pet. Study participants reported being happier when buying for a pet than spending money on themselves or another person.

Happiness Comes from Making Others Feel Good (Psychology Today). New research published by a team of psychologists at the University of Missouri-Columbia suggests that King’s words are as true today as they were a half-century ago — that our own happiness is, in part, influenced by the kindness and generosity we show others.

Happiness & Sustainability Go Hand In Hand’: New Survey Shows Vegans Are Happier Than Meat Eaters (Green Queen). A new study was looking to do a deeper dive into the many misconceptions about vegans and vegetarians has taken meat eaters by surprise, with the results showing that vegans reported higher happiness levels (+7%) than those who consume meat.

Zest, Hope, And Humor Are The Most Important Character Strengths, Suggests New Psychological Research (Forbes). A new study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology suggests that while all character strengths serve an important function, some may be more central to psychological well-being than others — and that zest, hope, and humor are the three strengths most commonly found in well-rounded and psychologically healthy individuals.

Employee happiness drops 75% in two years (Employee Benefits).The happiness of workers has decreased by 75% since 2019, according to new findings from employee engagement consultancy Inpulse.

If You Want to Be Happy, Try to Make Someone Else Happy (Epoch Times). In a recent study, college students reported on their happiness and on their sense of autonomy, competence, and connection to others—all what researchers consider to be “basic psychological needs” for well-being.

Green space around primary schools may improve students’ academic performance (The Conversation). Greenery around primary schools may improve students’ academic performance, while traffic pollution may be detrimental, our study shows. 

This is where older Americans find the most happiness (Market Watch). A new study “The Four Pillars of the New Retirement: What a Difference a Year Makes” conducted by Edward Jones, the large investment and financial services advisory firm, in partnership with Age Wave, a think tank and consulting firm, and The Harris Poll reports that 70% of Americans say the pandemic has caused them to be more reflective and pay more attention to their long-term finances.

‘Urban green space affects citizens’ happiness’ (Science Daily). A recent study revealed that as a city becomes more economically developed, its citizens’ happiness becomes more directly related to the area of urban green space.

Considering happiness and stress as leading indicators (OHS Canada). As our understanding of neuroscience evolves, how we manage workplace safety and health must also evolve.

How You Decorate Your Home Can Impact Your Happiness (Women’s Health). Google partnered with the Arts & Mind Lab at Johns Hopkins University to explore the impact of sensory input on our minds and bodies. They designed three different rooms, and participants wore bands to track their physiological responses as they moved through each room.

One Walking Strategy That Will Secretly Make You a Happier Person (Eat This. Not That). If you’re looking to really boost your mood—and to view the world in a much more positive light—walking can help you out there, too. You just need to employ one specific mental technique devised by researchers at Iowa State University and published in the Journal of Happiness Studies.

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How to Make Your Happiness a Habit (E74)

by

Happiness for Cynics Podcast

This week, Marie and Pete talk about neuroplasticity, how to make your happiness a habit and the importance of repetition and practice.

Transcript

[Happy intro music -background]

M: Welcome to happiness for cynics and thanks for joining us as we explore all the things I wish I’d known earlier in life but didn’t.

P: This podcast is about how to live the good life. Whether we’re talking about a new study or the latest news or eastern philosophy, our show is all about discovering what makes people happy.

M: So, if you’re like me and you want more out of life, listen in and more importantly, buy in because I guarantee if you do, the science of happiness can change your life.

P: Plus, sometimes I think we’re kind of funny.

[Intro music fadeout]

P: And we’re back.

M: We’re back.

P: Where do we go from here?

M: [Singing] Where do we go from here?

P: Laugh, how was your week Muz? How are you?

M: Well, we’re back in lock down, yay Sydney.

P: Oh. Yeah, I kind of like the fact that this is our time in our week where we devote an hour too investing in happiness, investing in all those things that we talk about, which is mindfulness, gratitude and purpose and all that sort of stuff. So, for us, this is a really valuable investment.

M: Absolutely and we talk about happiness habits, and I count this as one of my happiness habits.

P: Mmm.

M: So, during the research, we talk about these habits, and we talk about doing things like practising kindness and volunteering and gratitude and mindfulness and meditation and exercise and sleep and all of those wonderful things. And it just sounds like an exhausting laundry list of things that you have to do to stay happy.

P: Absolutely, laugh.

M: And what we don’t talk about-

P: It’s a big list.

M: Yeah.

M: – and what we don’t talk about is how to actually turn those activities or positive psychology interventions (PPIs) into habits or routine.

P: Is it an abbreviation?

M: PPIs, yes.

P: Oh, PPIs. I love it.

M: You see it in a lot in a lot of positive psychology stuff, it’s the activity that comes off the back of the research, Laugh.

P: Laugh.

M: But, how do you make it real?

P: Laugh.

M: And we’ve spoken about a lot of those things, but really, what most people, when it boils down to its struggle with is just doing it, making it a habit.

P: It’s a task, it’s a task. Yes, so habit, we know habit needs repetition.

M: Routine.

P: Routine.

M: Yep.

P: Ok.

M: And if you want to, I think we spoke last week or the week before, about if you want to be a good volleyballer, then you go practise. If you want to be a good piano player, you’ve gotta practise.

P: Yep.

M: You want to be happy.

P & M: You gotta practice.

M: Yep.

P: Absolutely, it’s a skill that you need to develop.

M: Yep, and a lot of us have never, never, ever develop those skills. How many of you out there and I will count myself in this group have set 10 New Year’s resolutions, and feeling all proud of yourself.

P & M: Laughter!

M: And three weeks later, you’re not doing any of them!

P: I never set New Year’s resolutions, I never thought they were a thing. I always thought they were just pathetic excuses of goals that you never wanted to achieve really.

M: Have you not set goals though?

P: I’ve set lots of goals. Yes, that’s a difference, though.

M: Ok.

P: I liken the New Year’s resolution to the people that go to the gym on the first day of the year. It’s like, ‘Hi, how are you? Haven’t seen you in 12 months. I’ll see you next year.’ Laugh. Because it doesn’t have enough leverage and when you set goals outside of specific huge events or massive celebrations. Goals need to have those, those parameters behind them. Those smart goals.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: Where they’re sensible, they’re measurable, they’re actionable. They need to be thought through, and you need to commit to them, and that needs to be more than just a momentary inspiration.

M: So, a lot of people do put a lot of thought into their news resolutions.

P: Well, I’m sure they do.

M: And they do make smart goals, and they are things they want.

P: Mmm, But! Laugh.

M: But, there’s also a lot of research…

P: Laugh.

M: So, it doesn’t matter what time of year I would say.

P: Hmm. No, I agree.

M: So, if you’re out there listening to us and you would like to be happier, then the first step is to turn some of these ideas that we’ve been talking about these activities, or PPIs into habits. And in order to do that, the first thing that everyone needs to know is that you can change, and you can change your brain.

P: Mmm. I like it.

M: And today, we’re going to talk about neuroplasticity. In the last couple of decades, neuroplasticity has become a big thing, and it’s really informed what Carol Dweck has been a lot of time teaching -she’s a researcher- and studying, which is all about growth mindset and one of the coolest things about her research is that simply knowing that you can change is enough to help kick start you on your journey. So, a lot of people for a long time believed that you born the way you are, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

P: Mmm, mmm.

M: Or perhaps you are born the way you are, you learn your behaviours and you are really set by your parents and your environment as you grow up. But once you hit maybe your late teens or early twenties, that’s it. That’s your personality, and that’s your behaviours and nothing can change.

P: Mmm.

M: And the research shows that that’s so not true. We can keep changing right up until the day we die if we put the right type of effort in.

P: I agree.

M: And just knowing that, just knowing that one thing that you can change is a huge mental shift for a lot of people and helps kick start them on their road to change.

P: There is a certain amount of truth in the fact that our brains are a lot more, inverted commas, “plastic” when we are younger. We do have the ability to take on new ideas and we’re much more open to it when we are younger. But there’s nothing to say that we can’t be more neuroplastic into our senior years.

In terms of long term health benefits, doing actions that challenge our brain coordination and interpretation is actually really healthy for us into senior years because it helps offset a lot of those dementia symptoms that come forward and the research that they’re doing in the health field is that doing things, particularly with multiple tasks. So, one of the best things for dementia is dancing because you’re –

M: Interpreting.

P: Well, yeah. You are. You’re interpreting music, but you’re also reinforcing it with bodily movement and you’re processing new co-ordinations. There are three big areas there and in terms of creating habits, having that flexibility. It marries right in in terms of trying to cement your habits in and create that plastic brain. If you’re investing in those activities that really challenge you continuously and not going ‘oh, I’m too old for this’, then you’re already setting yourself up for a change and for achievement.

M: Mmm hmm. And that’s the mindset that we were talking about there, that ‘I’m too old for this’ or ‘I can’t teach an old dog new tricks’.

P: Mmm. Don’t believe it.

M: Or ‘I’ve always been this way.’

P: Nah.

M: None of that is true. All of it goes out the window, and if that’s your internal monologue, you need to kick it to the curb now.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And we’re gonna talk neuroplasticity.

P: Oh, let’s go.

M: So, we’re going to help you understand how you can take control of your brain. Don’t think about that too hard.

P: Laugh, I’m thinking of saddle riding and reigns around a mouth.

M: Is it your brain that’s riding the saddle?

P: No, no, the brain’s in front.

M: On your brain, or under your brain?

P: So, I’m sitting on my brain.

M: Are you taking control of your brain?

P: Laugh.

M: This is what I’m saying, don’t think about it too hard.

P: Laugh.

M: Neuroplasticity refers to the ability of your brain to reorganise itself both physically and functionally throughout your life due to your environment, behaviour, thinking and emotions.

P: Mmm.

M: And I love the emotions bit there because a lot of people, myself included, have really turned their nose up at positive affirmations.

P: [Guilty giggle]

M: But what the research is showing and what this definition of neuroplasticity is really saying is you can reinforce a negative behaviour or emotion or way of thinking just as easily as you can reinforce a positive emotion, behaviour or way of thinking.

P: Yep.

M: So, if you have a preclusion to look for the negative or if you’re wired to look for the negative.

P: Well, we’re all hard wired to look for the negative, that’s a scientific fact.

M: Yep, yep. So, what are you doing to combat that?

P: Mmm.

M: And two people can look at the same situation and respond very differently.

P: Mmm.

M: So, you’re not hard wired to respond negatively.

P: No, exactly. It’s your interpretation, which is the same for stresses we mentioned before. It’s how you interpret stress.

M: So, in his book Soft-Wired: How the New Science of Brain Plasticity Can Change Your Life, Dr Michael Merzenich, who is a leading pioneer in Brain Plasticity research, has 10 core principles which are necessary for creating change. And when we say creating change, its rewiring your brain. And so, we’re going to talk through a few of them now.

P: Hmm.

M: The ones that actually speak to us and weren’t too techy, because neither of us are scientists.

P: Laugh.

M: So, there’s a fine line here between saying, here’s what I read and getting science wrong.

P: Yep.

M: Which we don’t like to do.

P: Change is mostly limited to situations in which the brain is in the mood for it.

M: Yes.

P: Mmm, if you’re alert, on the ball, engaged, motivated, ready for action, the brain releases neurochemicals so neurotransmitters, which are necessary for changing pathways. If we’re not engaging –

M: This is so true.

P: Yeah, if you’re not motivated to do something, you’re not going to keep doing it.

M: And that is point number one about news resolutions. Many of us pick perhaps smart goals or other resolutions or goals that they believe others think they should be doing.

P: Mmm, yes.

M: Or society says you should do like going to the gym.

P: Yep.

M: Going to the gym is just not my cup of tea, right? And it means that, if that’s one of my goals, I’m never going to be motivated.

P: Absolutely.

M: And I’m already putting a roadblock in my path.

P: And that block will be strong.

M: And really my goal is to get fit or to be healthy, not to go to the gym.

P: Yes.

M: So it’s worth remembering. You know, if you’re looking at exercise, for instance, if you are not in the mood for that exercise –

P: [Failure noise]

M: It just won’t happen.

P: Change. Laugh.

M: You’ve got a right fit to change.

P: Yes, definitely.

M: Though with a lot of the other things we talk about generosity and volunteering or gratitude, journaling, you know that can look like a lot of different things; Some of it’s just vocal around the dinner table, some of its writing pages and pages in a notebook, meditation has many, many different forms.

P: Definitely.

M: Mindfulness can look very different to different people. It’s really about finding the right fit. This first step here.

P: Mmm.

M: So, you’ve got to find something that inspires our energises you or at least interests you.

P: Definitely.

M: You need to want to make change.

P: If it’s a task you won’t commit, and that flows nicely into the second point that you’re going to make Pete.

P: Laugh.

The harder you try, the more motivated the more alert you are and the better or worse the potential outcome, the bigger the brain change.

P: So, if you’re really engaged with something and it’s a focus goal, then your brain will actually make that change for you much more readily. If there’s an important reason that drives a change or the will to engage, then the brain will actually support all that and try and actually recruit more neurons or synapses or connections to actually bring that about.

M: Yeah, and look, I think you can really supercharge a change you’re trying to make by making it social that can make the activity enjoyable. And it’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with volleyball, not because it was better than netball, basketball or any other sport that I was playing that year, but because my best friend’s made the team.

P: Mmm.

M: And so, the four of us all got to go together and have a laugh and a hit and a giggle and got to socialise. And so, volleyball has become a huge part of my life, probably mostly because my friends were doing it to start with.

P: Laugh.

M: And because I was motivated to make the team, I think I picked it up quickly and it became probably like a Nile sized river down the middle of my brain, –

P: Laugh!

M: – with volleyball skills in it – 20 years later, laugh.

P: Volleyballers Collosum, there we go.

M: Laugh. Because I was motivated.

P: Mmm.

M: All right. Shall we move on to number three?

P: Sure.

The more something is practised, the more connections are changed.

M: Yes. So, again, this is that big Nile river running down the middle of my brain. It started off as a trickle of water and slowly over time that, that pipe has expanded and grown as I’ve reinforced the same skills but also added new skills into that, that same stream.

P: Mmm, yep. The repetition factor.

M: I’ve exhausted that metaphor, haven’t I?

P & M: Laughter!

P: I’m liking it. I’m getting a vision of it, I’ve got brain things going through my head already. But volleyballers collosum is now a thing.

M & P: Laugh!

M: All right, so the next one is:

The brain also strengthens its connections between teams of neurons.

P: I like this one. This is an interesting one.

M: So, this is about bringing separate moments of successive things together.

P: Mmm.

M: And putting everything in context, really.

P: Mmm.

M: Your brain is putting things together so that if I say the Pete one times one equals two… oh sorry.

P: Laugh.

M: One times one equals one, one times two equals two. You know that the next thing in that sequence is one times three equals three.

P: Yes, exactly.

M: Right. So, your brain through repetition in primary school whenever it was that we learned our times tables has put those sequences together.

P: Yes, and it strengthens, and it reinforces them so that you automatically go down the list and do the same actions. And to use your volleyball metaphor. When you serve the ball, you run into a certain position on the court because that’s where you stand for defence.

M: When you get into a car, for anyone who drives a manual, you put your foot on the clutch.

P: Yeah, there you go.

M: Like when you first got into a car is a learner that wasn’t just what you did.

P: Yes.

M: But you know that that will be the next step in a series of things, and then you put it into neutral or potentially you put it into first gear or reverse, and you’ve got your foot on the clutch and you turn the key.

P: Yep.

M: That series of things go together in your brain and the more you strengthen all those individual things, and the more you do those in a series, the more your brain puts them all together in context around each other.

P: And creates a little team of events and team of sequences.

M: And flow, so it’s a continuous flow from one to the next.

P: Ahh.

M: So, you don’t actually have to think about putting your series of activities together, they just flow on into the next.

P: Yes.

M: All right, moving on. Oh, this is the sad one.

P: Laugh.

M: So, we’ve been talking about how if you want to start a habit, you need to do something that has a good fit for you and your personality and what you like. You also need to repeat it over time, and the science behind this is, it varies, some people say 21 days for a habit to sink in. Probably 30 days is a good starting point, I would say just to make it really stick.

P: Mmm hmm.

M: And you want to make a small change that is really easy. You’d almost have to trip over yourself not to do it. So, you know, we talked about people who put their running shoes next to their bed in the morning, so they just put their feet in and off they go for their run.

P: Yeah.

M: Or, you know, eating healthy, putting all the junk food at the back of the cupboard and bringing all the healthy food forward. So, it’s easier to eat healthfully.

P: Laugh, sure.

M: So, you want to remove those barriers. You want to do something over and over and keep growing and building those connections that river. More water flowing through that channel so that you’re building that habit, because the next one that we have here is:

Initial changes are temporary.

P: This goes back to the New Year’s Resolution thing.

M & P: Laugh.

M: If you don’t create that habit and put in the time and effort to do it for at least you know, 30 days –

P: Yeah.

M: – Your brain will forget.

P: I always like the comparison of rolling a stone up a hill or down a hill. It’s really difficult to get the stone to move, especially if it’s a big stone, so it’s this big goal that you want. It’s really hard to generate that first effort, to get it moving, but then it gets moving and you can follow on, and then it takes on its own kinetic energy, and it’s like, ‘Yeah, I’m riding the wave.’

M: Down the hill. Not up, laugh.

P: Yeah. Oh, it could be up, laugh.

M: Ohh! No, that just get’s harder doesn’t it.

P: Yeah, laugh.

M: Also, what’s going on in your brain is that initial changes, small changes, if you don’t repeat them, they get put into your short-term memory. You don’t start to build those stronger neural pathways. So, if you do something once it’s forgotten, you do something two days in a row. You might have a little tiny bit of that kinetic energy you’re talking about Peter.

P: Yep.

M: Little neural pathway starting to build, but it’s still in your short-term memory. You do it a third day and a fourth day and a fifth day. Now you starting to build enough of a neural pathway, and you need to keep going for up to 30 days for it to slip into your long-term memory and to really strengthen that neural pathway.

P: Yep.

M: If you don’t make it that far, you’re not going to make it.

P: Very true.

M: 30 days. If you’re going to do it, just commit for those 30 days to start with. But again, find the right fit first and then get your 30 days in. Now this also goes for breaking the bad habit. So, if you want to go for a run every morning, but you like to snooze –

P: Laugh.

M: – and you’ve been snoozing for 10 years.

P: Yep.

M: You’ve got to do 10 years of not snoozing to break that habit. Well, probably not. But you need to do at least 30 days to start to rewire your brain away from that other habit.

P: Yep.

M: The bad habit that you have been reinforcing and that neural pathway that is huge and start building the other one for the good habit.

P: Mmm, definitely.

M: And a lot of us are fighting the bad habit as well as trying to build the new habit.

P: Well, I guess you don’t even have to qualify it as bad or good habits they’re just habits. So, if you want to break a habit, you have to interrupt it for with a different habit. So again, that 30 day window is what you need to reinforce.

M: All right, next one:

Memory guides and controls most learning.

P: Mmm.

M: So again, as we’re talking about short term and long term memory, you want to be building those neural pathways and trying to get your skills and that habit or that routine into your long term memory. And that’s where it becomes really a lot easier and almost uncomfortable not to do it. So, if you always go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and one Friday, you get stuck at work. It’s almost going to feel uncomfortable not to have made it to the gym that day. If that is your habit and your routine.

P: It’s an interesting one, isn’t it? Because it is that whole thing of ‘dammit, I’ve created this habit and now I’ve got to stick to it because now it feels weird when I don’t do it.

M: Mmm hmm.

P: As a recovering smoker Marie, was that something that you found when you first gave up smoking the action of actually reaching for a cigarette? Or when you were involved in certain…

M: Oh, the amount of lolly pops I went through the first time I tried to smoke and the pen lids that I chewed.

P: Laugh.

M: And yeah, to be honest, a lot of it was the environment. So, if I had a cup of tea or coffee I was screwed.

P: Laugh.

M: I was craving for it, you would not believe. There were certain times of the day or situations. An alcoholic drink –

P: Mmm.

M: – used to be a trigger as well, a lot of them were environmental triggers and that habit that physical habit rather than the nicotine craving that kicked it off.

P: Mmm.

M: Obviously the nicotine craving follows.

P: Yeah.

M: Got my wine, laugh.

P & M: Laughter.

M: Just don’t have my ciggy.

P: But it flows nicely into the next point, which is about:

Movement of learning, providing moments of opportunity for the brain to stabilise.

P: So, what this is talking about is cutting out the noise and paring back those things that trigger us to create an action or create a habit. So, if you’re trying to create a new habit or new action that you do and you keep getting distracted by the alcoholic beverage or the cigarettes –

M: The phone.

P: The phone. Yeah, yeah there we go.

M: The phone! Let’s turn our phones off so we can actually focus. Sorry, side bar – keep going Pete.

P: Laugh.

Each time your brain strengthens a connection to advance your mastery of a skill, it weakens other connections of neurons [that weren’t used at that moment].

M: Mmm hmm.

P: So, not only are you reinforcing a good habit or the new habit? You’re actually taking that bad habit and going ‘no, sit back in the corner, sit back in the corner.’

M: It’s a two-way street –

P: There we go.

M: – Neuroplasticity.

P: Ah ha, nice Segway. Laugh!

M: All right, there’s ten [nine] things there, again, the book is called Soft-Wired: How the New Science of Brain Plasticity Can Change Your Life. We’ve only gone through a few of the different things there. But really, this was our attempt to start to take our conversation from ‘we all know the things we should do’ to actually, ‘what are you doing?’

P: Yep.

M: So, this is my challenge. What can you put into your diary as a habit? A happiness habit that you want to prioritise in your life.

P: Mmm.

M: And again. Laughter Yoga, 60 seconds. Gratitude at the dinner table, a really good way to just bond with your family and friends. There are so many things that you can fit in really easily that don’t have to be going to the gym for an hour three times a week.

P: Yes, definitely.

M: Which is also good for you.

P: Laugh.

M: But, you know, choosing healthier meals more regularly. Things like that that you can schedule in, and one of the easiest ways to do it is to actually put it in your diary as time set aside for being kind to your team at work.

P: Mmm.

M: Or things like that, or as a regular reminder. And on that note, we might wrap up. We’re well over time.

P: Laugh. Enjoy your new habits people.

M: Have a happy week.

[Happy exit music – background]

M: Thanks for joining us today if you want to hear more, please remember to subscribe and like this podcast and remember you can find us at www.marieskelton.com, where you can also send in questions or propose a topic.

P: And if you like our little show, we would absolutely love for you to leave a comment or rating to help us out.

M: Until next time.

M & P: Choose happiness.

[Exit music fadeout]

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People’s Odds of Loneliness Could Fall by up to Half if Cities Hit 30% Green Space Targets

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green space

Thomas Astell-Burt, University of Wollongong and Xiaoqi Feng, UNSW

One in four Australians feel lonely on three or more days a week. Our longitudinal study, just published in the International Journal of Epidemiology, finds adults in neighbourhoods where at least 30% of nearby land was parks, reserves and woodlands had 26% lower odds of becoming lonely compared to their peers in areas with less than 10% green space. For people living on their own, the associations were even greater – in areas with 30% or more green space the odds of becoming lonely halved.

Chart showing decreasing odds of becoming lonely with increasing green space
Chart: The Conversation. Data: Astell-Burt et al 2021, CC BY

This is good news for cities around the world – including Barcelona, Canberra, Seattle and Vancouver – that have set targets of 30% green cover. It’s even better news for the City of Sydney and the City of Melbourne, which have targets of 40% green cover by 2050 and 2040 respectively.

Our study used data from the HILDA Survey on 6,766 adults in cities across Australia who were not lonely in 2013. We assessed association between urban green space availability within 1.6km of home (a commonly used “walkable” distance in public health and urban planning) at the start and the cumulative incidence of loneliness reported four years later, which was about 12% overall. We took into account competing explanations for loneliness, such as differences in age, income, employment and disability.

We focused on publicly accessible green space categorised as parkland by the Australian Bureau of Statistics. This green space data focuses on discrete green spaces where gatherings and chance encounters with neighbours might occur. This meant the analysis excluded private gardens, which offer alternative spaces where people might gather but are not always available (e.g. for people living in apartments).

Benefits Are Even Stronger For People Living Alone

Loneliness can affect anyone – it’s the state of feeling alone, not simply being alone. You can feel perfectly content and connected while in solitude. You can also feel lonely in a crowded room.

That said, our study did find the odds of becoming lonely doubled among adults living alone compared with those in a couple. Lone-person households have become more common in many countries. One in four Australian homes were lone-person households in the 2016 Census.

It is good news, then, that our study also found the odds of becoming lonely went down 52% among adults living alone in areas with more than 30% green space compared with those in areas with less than 10%. In other words, meeting urban greening targets could be especially important for the large numbers of people who live alone.

Chart showing decreases in odds of loneliness among adults living alone compared to areas with less than 10% green space
Chart: The Conversation. Data: Astell-Burt et al 2021, CC BY

Why Reducing Loneliness Matters

Reducing loneliness has many potential impacts on health. Increasing evidence links feeling lonely with increased risks of depression, heart disease, inflammation, dementia and death.

Research indicates there is no one-size-fits-all treatment for loneliness. Some have called for a “precision health” approach using machine learning of biomarker data to afford new understandings of loneliness.

However, we need to be careful not to “medicalise’” loneliness, as if it were a disease that could be simply treated with medication.

Better evidence is needed to develop effective and scalable public policies focused on prevention. Some of our best options might actually come from outside the health sector.

Related Reading: 5 Ways to Recharge When You’re too Stressed

Does More Green Space Equal More Social Contact?

International evidence affirms the importance of protecting nature for supporting population health and for minimising climate change. Evidence in Australia indicates urban greening – and urban reforestation in particular – could also help to reduce risks of psychological distress, lack of sleep, cardiometabolic diseases, subjective memory complaints and maybe even dementia. Reducing loneliness might be an important way in which contact with green space produces these potential benefits.

A possible mechanism to explain the link between green space and loneliness is the sharing of familiar natural settings that help to enhance mood and interrupt rumination. This is thought to provide collective relief from social anxieties and enable people of all ages to play and connect with each other in meaningful, life-affirming ways.

These opportunities can be much rarer in less restorative environments, such as parts of cities with few trees and sparsely vegetated areas. Our research indicates that this is more often the case in socioeconomically disadvantaged communities in Australian cities. Urban greening strategies must address this disparity to help reduce population health inequities.

Anecdotal and survey evidence in Australia and the UK indicates how important our local green spaces are for connecting and coping with COVID-19 lockdowns. Despite this, evidence actually remains limited on the extent to which green space may reduce loneliness and how.

Another possible mechanism is that some people may prefer to “lean on green”. This refers to seeking contact with nature, in the absence of other people, for what many feel is more dependable, non-judgmental support.

However, a surprising finding from our study was that more green space did not provide relief from loneliness among the 1,282 adults in our sample who were lonely in 2013. We hypothesise, but were unable to test, that this was due to decreased visits to green space. Urban greening might help to reduce the odds of becoming lonely, but those who are already lonely might need more support.

Woman sits alone on a bench next to lake and trees in a park
Some people may seek solitude in nature for non-judgmental support. Josephine Baran/Unsplash

Should we be ‘Prescribing’ Nature?

This support may come in the form of providing regular social activities in green space, such as nature therapy walks. In some cases this might even take the form of a “nature prescription” from a general practitioner. This is a form of “social prescription”, which has recently been discussed by the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners and is being tested in the UK’s National Health Service.

Approaches like these hold great promise for helping to reduce loneliness and inequities in well-being, if they enable regular contact with nature in safe, positive and sustained ways for people who didn’t have this before.

Better research is needed to fully understand what nature prescriptions are acceptable. Economic, cultural and climatic differences might matter greatly.

We also need to know what nature prescriptions are cost-effective and sustainable at scale, in comparison to alternative strategies for reducing loneliness. Co-benefits of nature contact should also be factored in, such as potential improvements in mental health, health-related behaviours like sleep, and nurturing of pro-social and pro-environmental behaviour such as recycling. https://www.youtube.com/embed/7FS1xQsnI_I?wmode=transparent&start=0 Regular contact with nature has many benefits for health and well-being.

Investment in randomised controlled trials is needed to ensure programs are based on the best possible evidence of what works, where, when and for whom, to ensure everyone reaps the rewards of urban greening.

This article is based on a study led by the authors, who wish to acknowledge their co-authors, Terry Hartig, Simon Eckermann, Mark Nieuwenhuijsen, Anne McMunn and Howard Frumkin.

Thomas Astell-Burt, Professor of Population Health and Environmental Data Science, NHMRC Boosting Dementia Research Leadership Fellow, University of Wollongong and Xiaoqi Feng, Associate Professor in Urban Health and Environment; NHMRC Career Development Fellow, UNSW

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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