A little about Marie
Hi, I’m Marie Skelton, an Australian author, speaker and podcaster with a focus on change, resilience and happiness. I am a former elite athlete who nearly lost my life and leg in 2017. I speak and write about how to cope with change, build resilience and maintain mental wellness.
I am the voice behind the Happiness for Cynics blog, and I co-host the weekly Happiness for Cynics podcast. I am the co-author of the book Self-care is church for non-believers: A little book of happiness, and am currently writing a non-fiction book, researching change and the global rise in stress and burnout and looking into how we can build resilience to cope better with the modern world.
I started my career in journalism before working in Public Affairs and then Change Management for some of the world’s largest tech and financial services companies, both in Australia and the U.S.
I was an elite athlete, playing volleyball for Australia and on scholarship at George Mason University in the U.S. The year before my accident, I was the captain of the NSW Women’s Volleyball team in the Australian Volleyball League. Following a motorbike accident that nearly took my life, and leg, I began researching how people cope with major life changes to find out why some people are so resilient when dealing with whatever life throws at them, while others struggle. You can read my full story here.
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Still here? Well here’s some more about my story and why this site exists…
Hi, I’m Marie, and for most of my life, I would have called myself resilient. I was positive and I had grit. I had played volleyball for my country, and had a high pressure corporate job advising top executives in times of crisis. Even when I had a motorbike accident that nearly took my life, and leg, I think I coped pretty darn well.
A few years ago, I came off a motorbike in Vietnam and tumbled down a mountain. It was a long but relatively straight road to physical recovery, but my mental health was a different thing altogether. After I came home from hospital, my world fell apart. My mental health was shattered and I couldn’t work it out. Why then? What had changed?
They say major trauma is often the catalyst for major life change, and for me this is true. The accident made me question everything I thought I knew about how to live life. This site is here because of those questions. The content covers what I’ve discovered and uncovered along the way, and it reinforces my belief that I was never taught how to live. This site is here because I wanted to know ‘why,’ along the way I have found hope and happiness. True happiness.
I’ve been interviewing people all over the world to find out just that. I’ve spoken to Olympic athletes and coaches, to current and former military personnel, to people who have retired, changed careers or been made redundant, and I’ve spoken to people who’ve had heart-breaking diagnoses and accidents. I’ve also been speaking to experts and studying positive psychology and neuroscience. I have explored how people cope with major life changes, and asked why some people are really good at dealing with whatever life throws at them, while others struggle.
Along the way, I have become passionate about mental health and I have learned so much. It’s been a wake-up call, because before I nearly lost my life, I’d always thought of this stuff as silly, fluffy, etc…. Quite simply, I was a cynic, and it was hurting me more than I knew.
So, I hope this site and my experiences help you build your happiness and resilience. If you’re going through a tough time, I hope this site helps you understand yourself and answer your own questions about how you can live a happy and resilient life. A good life. A fulfilling life.
Lastly, I hope this site helps to raise awareness of the impacts of change on our mental health, and draw attention to this very important topic so we can start to address it at all levels of society.
What’s Going Wrong? The Change Storm
Are you stressed, overwhelmed or burned out? You’re not alone. We’re all living in a Change Storm – experiencing more change, more often than ever before, from finishing full-time education and starting our first job, to starting or ending a relationship, to redundancy, changing careers or retiring (and more!). On top of that, globalisation and technological change are completely revolutionising entire industries and societies, leading to uncertain, volatile ways of living and working.
There’s just no escaping change in our lives. It’s overwhelming, and it’s even making us sick.
So, how do you find your happiness and resilience after things go wrong? Or more importantly, how do you build it so you can better weather whatever life throws your way?
Here’s what I’ve learned: Resilient people – the people who deal with whatever life throws at them – have balance across three key foundations.
- Meaning and Purpose: Firstly, they have meaning and purpose in their lives and this is often tied to a strong sense of identity and self. This is about having something to get you out of bed in the morning, and about having goals, plans and commitments.
- Community and Connection: Secondly, they have strong community and connection. They have a core group of people they can talk to and depend on. They also tend to have a wider community network, through activities like church or regular volunteering.
- Health and Wellbeing: Thirdly, they practice and prioritise positive habits for a healthy body and mind. It could be getting out into nature for walks, going to the gym, or playing on a sports team, or it could be meditation, drinking water, and making sure they get 8hrs of sleep. The activity itself is less important, the main point is that resilient people prioritise their preferred self-care habits, even when life gets busy.
NOTE: This isn’t to say that when things go wrong or bad, that resilient people didn’t feel pain and sadness. It means that they were able to maintain resiliency through times of stress and not let it overwhelm them or lead to depression.
So, how does that knowledge relate to my experience? For me, being discharged from hospital was a monumental achievement and happy day. But what I had failed to understand is that the fight to survive and keep my leg had given my life meaning and purpose during those months in hospital (foundation #1). I also had the support and daily interactions with the army of healthcare professionals, friends and family who had rallied by my side (foundation #2).
By going home from hospital, in one fell swoop I lost it all. The second I came home, I was left mostly alone and with no real purpose. There were a lot of empty hours in the day, and it didn’t take long for my mental wellbeing, my resilience, to crash and burn.
It took some time, but I’m in a much better place now. And I’m happy to say that through all my research and new understanding of the world of positive psychology, I’m so much more happy and resilient than I’ve ever been.
Not only that, but this whole experience has lit a fire in me, and I hope that wherever you are in your journey or struggles this site can help you to move forward too. Please know that if you’re struggling with a major life change or you’re overwhelmed with all the constant small changes in your life, you’re not alone. If you need help, reach out, to a friend, family member or a professional – there are always people who can support you.
Finally, I have a challenge for you: take stock of your life now and the balance you may or may not have in your three resilience foundations. Because if you maintain and protect these foundations, you can weather anything the change storm throws at you.
Thanks for visiting and please reach out to me with any questions! Wishing you all love and best wishes for your journey.
Marie xo